There Are Worse Things Than Fire Rings

The spiders came from all sides at once, it was a coordinated assault that spoke to some kind of weird psychic connection between the beasties (which is terrifying, spiders that can use their minds to talk? Yeah not sleeping without the lights on ever again). They were as small as the dog spider from earlier to as big as a small shed. All different types as well, I didn't know that they were breeding multiple horrible giant spiders, but they apparently had (different colors, different fang placement, they were all horrifying in unique ways!). My hunter companion struck up a position almost back to back with me, her halberd held in front of her at the ready.

"Do you have a plan?" Outside of the obvious I wanted to know if there was a strategy other than don't die.

"Don't let one of them bite you, the venom is a paralytic and it will kill you very very fast." That seemed like the worst of both worlds.

"So these assholes just made the worst giant spiders they could."

"Oh these aren't the worst, these are the soldiers." I was about to ask what that meant when the spiders attacked, they hit from four different compass angles and went high and low (some of them had spring boarded using webs, it was very inventive if not horrible) I had my sword and pistol out not that the pistol seemingly did a whole lot of good (hard carapaces meant that the bullets hit their target but didn't seemingly kill anything). I heard a hiss and saw a cleaved spider fly by me. Myself I had emptied my pistol into the charging dog spider and then I impaled it on my sword, the blood from the spider sizzled on the blade of the earth, it made me afraid for getting any of the blood on me. I looked behind me quickly and noticed in the time it took me to dispatch one of the beasties the lady had killed three, but I could see more coming so I did what I do best, I set things on fire. Specifically I set a ring of fire around us to at least dissuade the creatures from coming into the ring, it kind of worked, they didn't exactly stand back but they weren't rushing in either.

"You can set things on fire and you didn't just burn the spiders?"

"Look magic is hard to conjure I went for economical usage over killing one specific creature." The spiders were held at bay, they didn't dare risk leaping over the flames even with their weird web trick. Unfortunately it was hard to maintain the ring, and the fire was smoking pretty bad, in fact it was almost choking me with its burning.

"So you're plan is to die by passing out from the smoke and the spiders eat us?"

"At least you won't know it was happening!" She didn't like that as a plan and I can't say I blamed her, then again it would be nicer than knowing you'd be eaten. We didn't get eaten, and thankfully I didn't have to keep up the ring of fire too much longer. Turns out super smart spiders also can figure when they've been temporarily beat and so they retreated. Which was like good thing bad thing, hey good they left, bad because they were still freaking out there waiting! Sometimes it doesn't feel like I win when I win!

Urge To Burn Everything Rising

When you're terrified certain things take on newer and scarier proportions. Take when it gets dark out, ordinarily you think "oh better be more careful I can't see things" when you're already afraid though? " OH GOD NOW I CAN'T SEE THE THINGS THAT ARE OUT THERE!" So as night fell on the island I hauled ass up the road to the resort. I could hear a generator running before I got close, and was greeted by the warmth of artificial light highlighting the horrible that had become the resort.
It was covered in webs. And I'm not talking like small webs either, the whole thing was basically cocooned in spider webs (Why I have no idea? Giant spiders love to eat resorts). I did manage to see finally one of the big spiders, well as it turned out I saw a baby spider. Anyway it was about the size of a dog and was colored green and brown (so it blended in with the damn jungle, smart move you idiot hunters). It was coming out of the resort. I was guessing on some kind of creepy spider patrol. I was about to advance on it when I heard a noise behind me. I turned ready to give a giant spider a burst of fire to the mouth when I saw a woman standing there, she was dressed in war paint of some kind or another and was wearing skins of creatures. She put a hand over her own mouth and motioned me to where she was standing.

"Don't go after the little ones, they announce a screech that will draw a bigger one." She didn't have a rifle or any other ranged weapon with her, she did have a halperd made out of a metal I'd never seen before but I'm not a blacksmith I can't tell metals very well.

"That's a little one?" I admit at the time I thought it was a big one. She actually smiled underneath her armor.

"Yeah you'd know if you saw a big one trust me."

"I haven't seen anything, not even the people I showed up with on my boat." She nodded.

"I knew they got stirred up by something, makes sense there was a scheduled hunter group coming, I just must have lost time." I was perplexed as to what the lady was doing here. Her skin was darker like my own, and she had on some kind of tribal make up which usually didn't denote wealth (sorry tribals never have a ton of money, its just society).

"Who are you?" Not that names really mattered, but sometimes you just want to know.

"GET DOWN!" The little dog spider from before must have spotted me and I didn't notice it, my new friend cut it down with one huge slice, but unfortunately as it died it did let out a howling scream. You could practically feel a change in the wind.

"Let me guess we're screwed."

"More or less." We moved out into the light and waited for the spiders to come, and come they did. You ever turn on the light and see vermin scurry away? It was like that only in reverse.

Feeling Like I'm Being Hunted

Being alone in the woods hunted by giant spiders that can take people without you seeing them at all can be a little scary. Ok a lot scary, it can be even worse when you literally hear nothing, no birds, no wind, no annoying woodland creatures. You start for lack of a better term, jumping at shadows. Everything becomes something that can kill you, and I do mean everything. Brush a stick while walking? It will be the thing that gets you, trip a bit? OH NOES ROOT BASED MONSTERS!! I was so frightened of everything I was close to being catatonic.

Maybe it was the fact it was giant spiders, I've always hated spiders, so the fact these were specifically giant crafted to be horrible spiders might have had an effect on me. Also all the recent events in my life had left me shaken, not exactly put together. I wasn't having a mental breakdown or anything, but I was definitely having a moment of heightened anxiety and fear. It actually was helpful to know I could still be absolutely terrified, if only alarming that this revelation had to come when I was on GIANT FREAKING SPIDER ISLAND!

I was still thinking sort of rationally so I knew sitting in the jungle waiting to be eaten was a bad idea, so I made my way to the resort. For two reasons really. One the road was actually cleared which left less of a chance for the creatures to get me from above, and two, it might have had some kind of safe room or other modern convenience to protect myself from horrific spider death (seemed like as good an idea as any). The entire time as I was on my way over there I couldn't shake the feeling I was being hunted.

I mean I knew I probably was, obviously the damned spiders were all around, but at the same time, I also suspected I was being hunted by something that wasn't a spider. I dunno you get the feeling when a person is hunting you over a creature, and I definitely had that feeling, all the way over to the remains of the resort, of course when I go to the resort I had all kinds of new problems that a general sense of uneasyness was a very minor concern!

No Ones Here, Good Sign

We arrived at the island I'm going to call Giant Spider Island (it had a real name, but screw that Giant Spider Island it is). There was a large port entry way, but no one was there to meet us. I thought this odd, and so did the other hunters. Well they would have though it odd if they weren't all excited to get out there hunting. Micude had a veritable arsenal with him and his assistant (well the assistant had all the guns, Micude himself had only one, but it was a very large gun looked customized though I did see some Hanlon weapons in his weapons). The workers on the ship were at least alarmed none of the dock workers were down there.

"So no one is normally here?" The other hunters had moved on since they were not of Micude's girth.

"Should have been a party to meet us out here there is a resort here ordinarily run year round for all sorts of things." My heart sank a little, I just knew the giant spiders had eaten them.

"This doesn't alarm you?"

"Nah came here to hunt, maybe they are busy, maybe they got eaten, in which case good job on those egg heads for making a creature that could overwhelm the resort and consume its occupants."

"Sucks to be the ones who got eaten?" I was a little scared of how cavalier Micude was with the loss of lives.

"If they were better at killing they wouldn't have been eaten, come on Trezlan." I followed after Micude for some reason I was linked to the rather large man. Past the docks I could see a crashed vehicle with some kind of purple substance on the seat, but nothing else. No blood, no body, nothing. Micude and I even lost sight of the other hunters entirely, I guess no one cared about "checking in" with the resort for where they were going to be staying (this was by design, they apparently had planned on staying on the ship, which becomes untenable shortly).

My ability to track things had decayed in its years of none use. Like I could make out general signs of bad things (broken plants, scuffed dirt, what appeared to be blood) but couldn't make out a direction or even an angle for where the creatures and people they had attacked had gone (this was not accidental, the creatures were incredibly adapted and only attacked from up above, and the island was a lush jungle so they had plenty of space to do so. I was about to remark to Micude how we should probably seek shelter because I couldn't find any of the creatures we were hunting when I noticed he was gone.

"Well now I'm in the shit." And I completely was, up to my eyes in shit.

That's Rich

"And that's when I said to my third wife you can keep the dog I'll keep my money." He laughed and I chuckled even though I didn't find the joke all that funny. We were in the dining area of the little ship it was really nice, a benefit of this being an expedition for the extremely rich. There were several of the hunters there, but the one who had taken me in as his confident was Micude a big whale of a man who was constantly attended to by his servant Dumer, who was apparently having to two triple duty for the big guy because he ordinarily had three servants to assist him a fact he referred to none stop.

"Hilarious." I humored the big guy because I didn't know anyone else on the trip, and everyone else looked at me with a leery glance. Like I was some horrific monster. Which I totally am, but they didn't know that!

"So Trezlan what brings you on this trip, you don't look like a hunter, I mean you brought a pistol and a sword from what I saw you're either insane or you are doing this for ulterior motives." I was shocked at his observation abilities the only thing previously Micude had been able to observe was the level of alcohol in his drink.

"Bit of both actually, I needed to get away from my life and I used to hunt a long time ago with a sword and a ranged weapon, I also have magical ability." He looked a little surprised at the magic, again the world had apparently forgotten us magical people. I think magic is due for a resurgence, I mean sure the government licenses us and keeps track with their secret police, but we need a new mage rebellion to show these bastards what they should really be afraid of!! Err I mean I'd like to have more magical people around because I feel lonely... Right yeah lets go with that.

"Do you know what we are even hunting dear boy?" Have I mentioned how I love people patronizing me because I look younger than they are, when I'm in fact hundreds of years their senior? Because I legitimately love that, its something that brings a smile to my face, like when an antique dealer tries to con me with junk.

"Not a clue some kind of creature."

"No not just some kind of creature, these beasts have been bred for the specific purpose of hunting. Our organization the Zandas has done this in secret for years, and now its time for the first hunt, it should be glorious."

"What kind of creature did you guys think up?" He smiled.

"Giant spiders." I tried to hide my abject disgust, I don't think I did a good enough job.

"Oh that sounds like fun." He laughed and then walked off, Dumer gave me a pat on the shoulder and I started to think I should pay attention better next time I take a pleasure cruise to GIANT FREAKING SPIDER GODS DAMNED ISLAND!!!!

Should Have Paid Attention

I've mentioned my hatred of ships several hundred times. I always end up on them, eventually I'll learn I dislike them and stop going on them, probably around that time a new type of ship will be invented and I'll find myself on that (Future edit in here, yes there is a new type of ship, yes I hate it, yes I spend more time on it than ever before). The ship was fairly small, only had about fifteen people on board for the trip and another five to manage the ship. Destination wasn't super important to me when we set out, neither was what they were seeking to do (this is something you'd think after multiple failed ship rides and horrible experiences I'd pay attention more, but clearly you haven't been reading this journal if you think I do any of that!).

I manged to buy my way onto the ride, because it wasn't just a public ship, no it was a specifically chartered expedition to an island renowned for its hunting. Yes I joined up with a bunch of rich jerks with huge rifles to go on a hunting trip. At the time it seemed better than my usual crap of war zones or whatever and the last time I was really in charge of my own life was when I myself hunted monsters. I figured the idiots would kill some big game, I'd perhaps get a new rug for my office and the world would just forget about me for a moment.

Oh how wrong I was. I mean sure it was a hunting trip, and we did arrive safely on the island, but turns out WE were the ones being hunted, and I'd have to tap a lot more into my monster hunting days than I ever thought I'd need to ever again. But thats just the tease I'll get into what happened next entry naturally.

What Has Been Done Can Be Undone

"Stay away from me Hanlon!" Hanlon had brought no one with him because why would he? The illusion was not needed anymore he wasn't human, probably never really was. I was feeling all explodey, Morley had kept his distance for the obvious reason Hanlon waited at the end of the hall way he was unarmed for what I could see.

"No Mr. Hanlon come get your friend I'm done with him." Hanlon stayed where he was, I did see he looked over at the hand of the Fire God almost as if noting its presence not that he would need it or anything, I don't know if he could touch it, I mean I'd seen it destroy people before, but Hanlon isn't a person, I couldn't recall if he ever handled the weapon.

"Death magic how quaint Mr. Morley." Morley didn't show the surprise but I could tell he was smugly expecting Hanlon not to pick up on the magic he had used on me. I was standing between the both of them, in a way I'm sure this was some kind of grand metaphor of my life of standing between awful and worst (I'll leave you to figure who is who). Hanlon strode towards me, I wondered what it would be like to explode and then he waved a hand and the feeling went away. It was the oddest thing, one minute about to explode, the next was perfectly fine.

"Not possible." Morley now was showing his surprise, it was nice for him to be horrified instead of doing the horrifying. Hanlon laughed, a real mirthful laugh like what Morley had said was the funniest thing he ever heard.

"I'm leaving Mr. Morley, now you know the limits of your ability think about this the next time you bother to try and kill me as if you could even come close. Come Trezlan." I retrieved the Hand and for a moment figured I'd shoot Morley with it just to check to see if it could kill him, but Hanlon shook his head and I left with him (we took the stairs well I took the stairs hanlon just disappeared. At least going down them was easier then going up them, but still by the time I was done I wanted to die.)

This was it for me though, I was done people making me into bombs getting transported to weird dimensions against my will, Morley... I was through I wanted nothing to do with anyone and so I went to the docks with some money and some weapons (not the hand though damned thing was cursed everytime I used it something bad happened) and just left on the first ship carrying me anywhere. Which turned out fantastic, here's a hint, NEVER EVER DO THAT!

MORLEY!!!!

Probably a lot less bad ass ways to go after a target then riding the bus. Don't get me wrong I like that mass transit has become a thing now other than trains, but bus's by their nature of being a lowly travel option considerably less bad ass. I also kept feeling like someone would see that I was carrying a pistol. Which isn't illegal or anything, but still I feared Morley would know I was coming and account for that fact. I mean I was sure he already did know I was coming, but I didn't want him know knowing I was coming, you know? Right anyway moving on!

Arriving at the building Morley was staying at I didn't see any guards, or people for that matter. Alarmed would be putting it mildly. Still once I commit to a stupid task I'm all in till I'm dead or its solved so I headed through the doors the hand of the fire god at the ready. The lobby was also empty, not even a receptionist even though there was a desk for one. There was a bank of elevators, but having almost been killed falling down one building I decided to take the stairs. Twenty freaking flights of stairs, by the time I got to the top floor I wanted to kill myself.

"Mor," big gasp of air hunched over feeling light headed, "Leeeeey!" I meant to shout it but it really came out like the dying gasp of an old man, and I had just taken a life by necromancy that day. Morley himself was seated on a throne in the room past the elevators, he was alone. No guards, no one, he seemingly was waiting for me.

"Trezlan, you look terrible." As patronizing as ever from that dick.

"Yeah well," took another breath and just collapsed at this point the hand fell to the ground almost useless in a way it was mocking me, "You look terrible." I didn't have much left, twenty flights of stairs running up them was just too much.

"I'm glad you brought that, I was hoping you would." He came down from his throne and looked at the hand briefly and then left it there, "We have an elevator."

"I didn't want to fall down the shaft." He smirked.

"Wise move I actually did trap one of them."

"Where is everyone?" He stood there looking me over, seeing his enemy (well he's my enemy I've always assumed I'm just that annoying cut in your mouth that never heals to him).

"I sent them home, no need for them to be here for this, they might have ruined my elevator trap."

"Right." I started to gain my breath and ability to think without seeing stars in my eyes, but that only just made me feel all the weaker on the ground at the mercy of Morley and his necromancy, the Hand of the Fire God slightly out of grip.

"Times like this are how I wonder how you've lived and killed as many things as you have, you have to be the luckiest idiot to have ever managed to make it through life."

"I'm a plucky kind of guy." I made a lunge for the Hand and he stepped on my hand, I felt a bone in the hand break under his boot heel.

"Nope, not today Trezlan, good try though." He kicked the hand to the side of the room where it came to a rest next to a big picture window overlooking the city. He continued stepping on my hand with his other foot and ground the heel causing me more pain.

"Can you at least not crush my hand before you kill me?"'

"Kill you? Oh no Trezlan that's not what I'm going to do to you, at least not right away, I'm going to turn you into a bomb, next time you meet Hanlon, and you will meet Hanlon, you'll blow up in a bit of necromancy and magic that is to be damn sure to kill him." I tried to use some fire or anything on Morley but it bounced harmlessly off of him, he had some anti magical aura I couldn't see, but my magic couldn't penetrate.

"I hate you so much Morley." And then he got to work using a lot of blood magic and ritual, by the time he was done I felt odd. Like everything inside of me was bundled up and ready to burst (because magically it was). He was about to contact his men to have me hauled down stairs when Hanlon showed up. And that's when I worried for the first time since I got blown up earlier that day, if I was about to die. The oddest thing I've written in a while.

Not the Safest Medical Practices

"Hold him down." I was strapped into a gurney, they had shackled me and were attempting to sedate me with some kind of ugly looking fluid. At first I thought maybe this was just standard medical stuff (I dunno I haven't been to a doctor in uhhh never), but when they pulled out the magical runes I knew shit was wrong. That and the fact they didn't seem concerned with the broken bones in my leg (I think I broke my thigh bone because holy god the upper part of my leg felt like it was on fire, being strapped down did not help it).

"Is that like something to help with the pain?" The men in the back of the ambulance all seemed to be wearing masks, but more of the variety robbers wear and not of the variety I would expect someone involved in a medical field would have (more about obscuring their face than say protecting themselves from bodily fluids).

"Someone gag him until we get him where we need him." I knew at this point this wasn't something they were doing for my benefit, My hand was partially trapped in the shackle, but I could still grab hold of one of the mens legs and you know what I've always said about personal contact with a necromancer (how did I get around the shackles, uhh magic? Look lets just say shackles no longer concern me...). At first the other three men attempting to sedate me didn't know what happened. One minute I was screaming and fidgeting the next minute the guy with the sedation was a desiccated corpse and the back of the ambulance was on fire (I'm anything if not showy). My attackers now dead or on fire I worked to free myself, first by cutting myself off the gurney, and then secondly getting the key for my shackles from the dead man who had them (thankfully it was the same guy who I stole the life of). I was about to consider jumping out of the back of the ambulance when it suddenly stopped and I was smashed from my sitting position into the back wall.

"Don't even move." The driver had a pistol on me.

"Well that's not exactly possible I'm in an uncomfortable position I'm going to move, besides your pistol is broken it won't fire on me." He looked at the pistol and I blew it up in his face (what can I say I'm a bad man). Exiting the ambulance there was a small crowd gathered (who doesn't like to see a burning car?) well there was a small crowd until it exploded (apparently ambulances contain oxygen tanks under pressure which when exposed to fire explode who knew?) I was kind of surprised by it but thankfully was out of range when it exploded.

At this point I could have just walked away, Morley was only sending men after me as a token effort to kill me. His man had that much in his head, but I didn't exactly want Hanlon to die let alone Morley to kill him, and I knew that Morley's plan above all else might actually work, so I went back to my office got the damned hand of the fire god and sat out to shove it up Morley's ass and pull the trigger until it wouldn't fire anymore. Sadly that didn't happen, best laid plans of ass shooting and all that.

Rough Ride

Being blown up is alarming. Like one minute you are standing around waiting for an explanation of what horrible realm of awful you were just in (as most people are want to do), and the next you are plummeting twenty stories in a firey building possibly to your doom. I believe I have remarked in the past about being blown up, but every time its a unique and fun experience of terrifying and "WHY GODS WHY!?" Being blown up and falling through a crumbling broken building? Completely unique for me, this is so far the only time this has ever happened to me, and it was horrible. Like I thought I was dead, this one time I've actually sort of prayed to whatever dark power that keeps me going to make sure I lived, if only so I could kill the absolute shit out of Morley.

It actually worked! Well that and the fact that falling through a blown up building lets you break your fall with your face as you descend the floors to the bottom. I guess "lived" here is a matter of opinion. Survived certainly, but if this was living check me out for living in the future. I did still of course have the issue of being trapped in a building that was falling down around me, several broken bones, and the fact I was partially on gods damned fire!

Hanlon was no where to be seen of course, though I did see the broken bodies of his former guards all over. I couldn't tell how the building had been exploded, but considering it seemed to come from below I figured I was currently face down in where the bombs had been. Which could have been even worse for me based on a bomb not going off, or you know the building up above coming falling down on me.

In pain, in the dark and burning and unable to move very fast I hobble crawled out of the basement and away from the building. Police and fire services had arrived at the site by the time I got out, my emergence scared the crap out of both groups (I was the only survivor aside from Hanlon, but he wasn't in the building). Thank the gods the fire group brought medical assistance, unfortunately the medical outfit was run by freaking Morley, because of course it was this was his real plan after all! I mean it sort of was, I dunno I never got to ask him exactly how he planned on attacking us and blowing up a completely unrelated building we got into. Something else to add to the list of things to ask Morley before I totally kill him.

As Easily Resolved As It Began

"I'm sorry this is stupid clearly you wouldn't have turned on me." Hanlon put his pistol down and I put my rifle down (what you expected more? sorry I kind of implied there was).

"So what do we do now?" I looked around the warehouse, I could see over head walkways and that seemed to be better than sitting down there among the boxes. Hanlon seemed to catch my thought without me vocalizing it and so we made our way up stairs. Which worked out for us because Morley's people came into the warehouse not too long after.

"Not a coincidence, do you have something your pockets?" I was about to make a rude comment in response to Hanlon once again questioning me as being against him when I made a quick screw you check and sadly found some kind of inscribed rock.

"I swear I'm not working against you." Hanlon took the rock and gave it a look over, it definitely looked like more than just a tracking device, it was also most likely what was canceling our magic. Hanlon crushed it in the palm of his hand and instantly I could feel my magic come back. I was shocked that Hanlon was still there though. I saw him close his eyes and then open them again and we were no longer in that warehouse, we weren't anyplace it seemed. Where we were reminded me of several world behind worlds, though how Hanlon took us there without so much as a magical anything was more than a little frightening. And just as soon as we were there, we were in a nice pent house apartment, there were already armed men there, but they were Hanlon's guys.

"Sorry about that had to free myself first and then take you here." I saw the briefest moment of something terrifying behind Hanlon's eyes. One of the men handed Hanlon a radio and took the pistol from him, they also took my rifle.

"Where are we?"

"A secure place for now anyway, Morley will clue in that his men were unsuccessful and he'll either give up or come here. I'm thinking come here, he doesn't seem like the give up type to me." And that's when the building blew up. I don't mean the room, I mean the building, the entire freaking things (which was twenty stories tall). How did I survive? Because I'm amazing, and apparently incredibly lucky. But mostly the amazing part.

If You Think About it Its your Fault

"Shouldn't the authorities be showing up around now?" Magic didn't work obviously, something was preventing either me or Hanlon from using our abilities (and not just the usual magic cancel or redirect, it was some kind of overall anti magical ability).

"You have far too much trust in the authorities Trezlan, clearly they have been paid off."

"What about your own employees?"

"Left my radio in my other suit, we'll have to sort this shit out ourselves." Hanlon seemed unhinged, like I get that way when my magic isn't working, but I think this is the first time he'd been without whatever dark power he connected to. The men had stopped shooting and were now moving up to flanking positions. I did at least take solace in that they were using Morley's guns and not Hanlons. Morley for all his magical ability lacked Hanlon's expertise with fire arms, his weapons constantly jammed or didn't work right (but his weapons were cheap so they had that going for them).

In fact Morley's shitty guns actually helped us get away, while Hanlon and I were surveying a route out of there one of his men came upon us and attempted to open fire, but his gun jammed. He attempted to clear it, but Hanlon was on him in an instant. He struck him in the face with his left hand and at the same time drew the mans knife and gutted him with his right. He stripped the jammed rifle off the body and handed it to me while he took the mans unused side arm.

"Unjam that, probably something in the feed mechanism Morley's engineers suck at designing them." I got to work on freeing the jam, it was in the feed mechanism as Hanlon had surmised. I actually surprised myself by getting it free so easily.

"GOT IT!" I said overly loud thus alerting a nearby soldier to our presence, I felt a knife whistling by my face as Hanlon dealt with the alerted man.

"Next time say it in a whisper, or better yet don't say it all." We moved from our position in the market to a near by building the appeared to be some kind of warehouse. It seemed empty of people but not all kinds of boxes. Which at least provided cover from the rest of Morley's outfit.

"This is totally your fault." The rifle only had about five bullets left in its magazine, Hanlon had not thought to take anymore from the dead man when he hand it over.

"I'm glad you are seeing these things as clearly as you usually do." Hanlon did not see my logic, but it was pretty unassailable, I wouldn't be in the situation I was in if not for Hanlon, so this was completely his fault.

"I'm just saying if you hadn't come when I called."

"I did not come when I was called, I am not your dog Trezlan, I merely heard you were looking for me and so I found you, so this was your fault since clearly these men pursued you, in a way I'm almost wondering if you are working for Morley." I notice he wasn't looking at the windows anymore and had the pistol trained on me.

"Whoa whoa are we getting to this point in our relationship." I aimed the rifle at him in response.

"Looks like it Trezlan why don't you tell me what Morley's real plan is before I kill you." And so despite armed men looking for us, Hanlon and I damned near killed each other. Well I should say I almost shot Hanlon and he almost killed me, I don't think normal weapons can harm Hanlon, I don't know if anything really can. Anyway I say almost because we obviously didn't! I would really hope I was past the "everyone is betraying me part of my life" but I'm not. Sadly Hanlon was right I was unwillingly part of Morley's plan, but you know the drill next entry!

Don't be a Nercomisist

"I always knew he'd come back to kill me, but to involve you and another necromancer? Well that's silly, if anything you guys are a liability." Hanlon of course saw right to Morley's plan, in that he immediately suspected the bugger of trying to kill him (which might have been true, I don't know I didn't listen to the spiel).

"Wait why do you think they'd be here to kill you? They could be here to kill me!" He looked at me like a parent does with a dumb child.

"Trezlan if they wanted to kill you, they'd already done it on the island or any number of times, no Morley wants to use you to get to me." It made sense, and in a way I'm sure I kind of lead them to Hanlon since he wasn't at his factory and I had to sort of track him down, sort of conjure him up (I don't know how I get a hold of Hanlon really, I just kind of think about him and pseudo look for him and then he appears, this time he met me outside of a market just casually like I hadn't called him out of thin air). I was about to retort about wanting me to be in an optimal position to get killed when a group of armed men assaulted the market.

"Ok so this appears to make you correct, but I'm just saying maybe these men are here to kill me." They started shooting up the market place almost immediately. Like maybe they should have been a bit quieter considering the general authorities in modern times, but apparently they paid those guys off because the authorities never showed up. Hanlon and I took cover behind a table, I was once again not armed because I'm an idiot and I never learn my lesson, Hanlon also appeared to be without weapon.

"Give us Hanlon and we'll let you out of here Trezlan."

"You were saying?" I didn't turn to look at Hanlon because I knew he'd have a look on his face that would upset me.

"Could be a trick to get me to announce my presence." It wasn't a trick they did want Hanlon, but I never just give up someone that easily! Well unless I don't like them, like say some how Nidget had time traveled to the future and was in trouble? Totally turning him over without a word! Anyway we were trapped and for some reason Hanlon couldn't do his usual tricks (which was a trap by Morley, something I discovered afterward, but again could have been coincidence and a trap for me... ok it was totally Hanlon they were after). I do have to wonder what Hanlon meant about necromancers being a liability around him, alas I didn't get to ask him because shit went sideways pretty fast. I'll get into that next entry of course.

Its a Trap, but Not a Trap

"I should have known there would be consequences here." Morley was seated across from me, Aelanes like the inbetweener he was between us. We were at an open air cafe and I was unarmed (aside from magic, but you know unarmed). Aelanes wanted to meet for lunch to go over things and not to long into ordering Morley showed up. He had that smug look he always has, and a couple very large guards with him they didn't sit down instead choosing to be standing the whole time. I also knew from the way that Aelanes was not looking at me which told me he was in on it.

"After all this time that's how you respond to me."

"I should call the police."

"And what report that a friend had a seat for lunch with you? If you think that the Guard still has me on their list of dangerous magicals, you clearly don't understand how politics work. I mean gods I supply weaponry and uniforms to these people, we have buried the hatchet mostly." The way he said mostly belied so much about the true nature of his agreement with the Guard.

"Well then maybe we should go to my office, I'm sure I have something to give you."

"Like a bullet from the hand of the fire god? Yes I know you have it, no I'll not allow you to shoot me with it, and to answer your next question, no I haven't tried to retrieve it from you, if you have proven adept at one thing in your life its setting blood traps and I'm sure the hand is protected by one really nasty one." He wasn't wrong about any of it, but still I would have liked to have seen him try and get the Hand.

"What do you want Morley?"

"To clear the air Trezlan, we're a unique creature in this world, you Aelanes and myself are pretty much the only ones."

"There is Hanlon as well."

"Hanlon is not a necromancer, whatever he is its not one of us trust me I know." The way he said not one of us seemed to imply not just a necromancer, but not even a human, which always what I thought.

"All the same, I'm sure you and Aelanes want something of me and I don't want anything of you, so we're done here this conversation is over." I left. I didn't know what they wanted. And I didn't care, because it was a trap. I mean apparently Aelanes wanted me to forget the treasure vault was a trap Morley set years ago! And now he wanted me to listen to Morley now? Madness! At least I had a counter this time to Morley, and oddly enough Hanlon knew I'd be dropping by. Swear to gods that guy is almost as creepy as Morley.

And Thus Ended That Treasure Vault Nonesense

Arriving back in town with Aelanes and literally no one else there were some questions from the authorities. In a way it was actually reassuring we couldn't just have left with thirty people and come back with no one, but we were at least boosted by the fact Trembles had returned a day earlier and got tossed in jail for being a murderer (which was hilarious to me, considerably less so for that skittish fellow). Thankfully Aelanes had apparently accrued a reputation as some kind of doctor (a doctor who uses a sword and two pistols, but eh modern doctors are always weird people) and he was able to claim the virus that they thought had been beaten came back and killed the rest of the men and that it was a result of something in the vault. So we had to burn the bodies and the island should be on a forever quarantine. I sensed the authorities just wanted this whole madness to be over and were all to happy to blockade the island from future treasure hunters (treasure hunters are loud obnoxious assholes who ruin things, no one likes them, please ignore my history of being a treasure hunter).

Aelanes at least decided to stick around for a bit, he was interested in how I was getting along in modern times. I also believed he believed I had been infected by the creature in the portal and he wanted to make sure I was me. Which seemed silly, I mean he didn't really know me really, and it had been a long time since he'd even seen me, so his attempt to know if I was who he thought I was seemed doomed to fail since he doesn't even know who I am!

But it was nice to have a sort of equal around for a little bit. If only because the only other necromancer I knew was Morley and he and I don't talk as much as I don't want him to talk with me. Unfortunately like some crappy karmic retribution, Morley seemed to know I was glad he wasn't around, so he showed up! I'll get into that in the next entry obviously.

Don't Judge, This was the Only Way

Not Dumphree looked uncomfortable in his meat suit. He looked at me with pupil less eyes and had all the unnatural movement of someone who clearly has never been a human before. We were out of the portal, I hadn't yet asked of Aelanes because I wanted to make sure I was free before bringing up my companion we had left behind (yes I'm a selfish dick like that).

"Feels awful, how do you people deal with this?" The voice was weird, like deep and hollow at the same time, like the creature couldn't properly work vocal chords, so it didn't really try.

"Little bits at a time, eventually you don't even feel the weaknesses of the human condition." The creature scoffed.

"Well now that I'm out here I won't need this anymore." It attempted to free itself and failed, like I could see it straining magically to be out of Dumphree and every attempt was not successful.

"So here is where we talk about my friend back in your horrific portal." Not Dumphree looked at me with a pure burning hatred. It attempted to use its powers but those also wouldn't work.

"What did you do to me?"

"I let you out with some caveats of course, your powers and your essence are stuck in that meat suit. Don't even think of killing yourself as that will just damage the body without freeing you, you aren't alive in that thing, you exist in it, it is your new prison." It tried to strangle me, but it had a limited ability to use a body and so it was easy to parry and I hit him in the solar plexus which dropped him to the ground in a lump.

"What do you want to free me?"

"Aelanes out of your portal." The creature walked back in and then came back out with Aelanes who looked visibly shaken but no other worse for ware.

"Release me." I grabbed one of Aelanes's pistols and shot the creature in the head, it fell to the ground and then I shoved it back into the portal and then slammed the vault door shut.

"Do I want to know?" Aelanes seemed off, but I let it go because I'd been in that exact position.

"Nope you don't, lets cover this shit up and get out of here." And so we did, because why deal with a situation when you can just lock it back in a vault and hope to never have it be a problem ever again. Which I will trumpet was my original solution!

Portal To My Doom

Standing in a crazy broken world filled with purple light and living shambling corpses, I started to wonder if Aelanes was insane. Like seriously why couldn't we have just collapsed the portal from the other side? Who cares if it gets opened again by someone else? That wouldn't be us and that's all that matters! I was also alarmed that I still didn't have a weapon to kill the corpses, so I was dependent on Aelanes to do all the work of killing the corpses. Which he was efficient at, but I hate leaving my fate in someone elses hands even though I tend to do it all the time. Look just because I do it all the time, doesn't mean I agree with the decisions!

"You could do more you know." Aelanes says this to me as he cut through another corpse.

"Like what? I don't have a sword or a pistol and you refuse to give me one."

"You could distract them you know with your deliciousness, I mean this was a trap for you." I glared at Aelanes, I mean he wasn't wrong, but I will be bait for no man! I was a bit concerned I hadn't seen that idiot Dumphree, I mean he opened this horrible world, where in the gods name did he slink off to?

"So what have you been up to all this time Aelanes?"

"I became a pacifist." I laughed but he seemed serious, it seemed a little less serious while he was gunning down a couple corpses that had snuck up on him, but you know people are weird like that.

"You're a necromancer pacifist?"

"I only kill what needs to die."

"I think that goes against pacifism." He shook his head.

"You want to put people in little boxes Trezlan, I am what I am, I do what I do." I would have argued more, but the ground we were on shifted. At first I thought it was an earthquake, but as it turned out the creature that lived in this realm was just using its power. The shaking threw me and Aelanes off the island. Aelanes fell somewhere I did not see, I landed close to the desiccated remains of Dumphree, which made me feel very sad. Not really, but you know even a dick like Dumphree didn't exactly deserve to have his essence sucked out like that.

"Trezlan Lorentino." The beast had a booming voice that shook the world when it talked.

"Maybe?" I say maybe because it probably wanted to eat me, but you know maybe it wanted to give me a nice going away gift.

"Morley promised me he'd let me go if you die here."

"Well how about I let you out of here if you don't kill me." The creature was massive, like I couldn't even see the bottom of it from where it towered over me. It didn't have an exact form other than a huge shadow of one. I couldn't exactly make out what it was even, just huge and scary.

"How would you do that?"

"How Morley going to let you out of here?"

"Good point." And so it came that I helped a creature from a horror dimension escape. Look he was going to kill me, it all worked out I promise...

Not To Blame You, But this is Your Fault

"You have to damage their head if you want to kill them." Aelanes was telling me how to kill the recently dead. Apparently inside the vault there would be more of the damn things, even though it wasn't necessarily a vault any longer.

"Well I would have tried that had I an implement that could puncture a head."

"Like say a shovel or a pick axe, too bad none of those were littered around the dig site." I frowned.

"Sarcasm is unbecoming of you Aelanes, shouldn't you be nicer to me about these kinds of things."

"Nicer to you about your inability to kill the damned? No Trezlan I'm not going to be nicer, you didn't even bring a weapon with you."

"I am a weapon!"

"Yeah and how'd that work out for you? Not well at all so perhaps you should remember to bring something. Anyway, this whole thing is sort of your fault." We arrived at the vault and the door was wide open, a horrible purple light spilled forth.

"You'll have to explain that to me, I don't know how this could be my fault since when I built this vault, it wasn't a horrible whatever the shit this thing is now." I would have remembered that even if I didn't exactly remember any of the stuff to do with the vault, I definitely would have remembered undead shorties.

"Well Morley ran across your vault, dug it up set up this trap specifically for you, if you hadn't set up the vault in the first place he wouldn't have opened this portal." I looked into the portal and could see nothing good looking back.

"That's stupid talk, you're stupid, so this portal we just collapse this and we're all set right? Tell a story about how the vault was cursed with a dick shrinking curse and we'll be all good?" Aelanes shook his head.

"No we have to go through this and resolve the creature Morley put inside, otherwise this will find a way out, in a way that's why the vault was dug up in the first place, the creature grew powerful enough to spread its influence and brought these diggers here."

"Well at least its just the one thing right?"

"Surrounded by a small army of formerly alive people Morley trapped with the creature in a universe that creature controls."

"Have I mentioned I don't like you right now Aelanes? Because I totally do not." And with that we stepped into a nightmare land of awfulness, because it never occurred to me Aelanes could be leading me to a trap that I was previously avoiding. I mean he wasn't, but he totally could have been, I mean this is a guy who once served Morley for gods sake!

Frenvious

"Are you going to stay up there all day old man or are you going to come down and help me?" The voice which I hadn't heard in a long time was Aelanes, where he'd been and what he'd been doing since I last saw him was a mystery. The dead headless corpses at his feet considerably less so, I could see he upgraded the sword since I last saw it, now it was rune marked, in a way it reminded me of Oshujon, he also was wearing a pair of Hanlon's pistols in shoulder clutches, apparently he believed the silly notion of dual wielding increased your chances to hit something, outside of that he appeared to be normal looking even was wearing modern clothes.

"Here to kill me Aelanes?" I always suspect that of anyone, its my way of saying hello.

"If I wanted to kill you I'd have just left he corpses here, eventually they'd have gotten up there and eaten you both, horrible way to go." It was a pretty truthful statement, I hopped down, Trembles did not.

"Come on Trembles I know this guy he isn't here to hurt us."

"So you say, I'll just stay up here for a bit if its all right." Aelanes looked at me and shrugged and I shrugged back, I couldn't exactly make the little bugger come with us and nor did I feel I could use his amazing "be small enough to fit into places ability." I did at this time notice that Dumphree was not with us.

"Where's Dumphree?"

"I assume he was with you and you don't see his corpse down here? Then I can also assume he's the one who opened the vault." I looked at Aelanes and I felt a chill run down my spine.

"He opened it how did he do that?"

"Well it wasn't exactly hard to unlock, it was of course a trap set for you by Morley."

"Hold on hold on, you'll have to unpack that a bit I'm lost." Aelanes sighed.

"Fine, lets just walk and talk though we have to get in there and fix this mistake before it becomes a bigger problem." And so we did and so I learned of a trap Morley set for me that he forgot in a vault that I forgot. Yeah I'll unpack that in the next entry naturally.

Maybe, Just Maybe We should Stop Digging

The first outbreak was one of the first guys to get to the door. We didn't notice anything different of him at first, he was nice and joking about knocking on the door one minute, and then tearing into the throat of someone else the next. Whatever he had spread fast. The camp went from twenty live men, to three (me dumphree and a skittish little guy named Trembles I shit you not). We were actually on top of the command tent, as the people who got killed had come back as flesh craving whatevers. I burned the first couple that had turned, but that didn't seem to kill them just turned them into crispy crunchy biting things. Stupidly I didn't have any weapon with me because I figured it was a treasure vault how bad could it be?

"I told you it was aliens."

"Dumphree I swear to the gods if you don't shut up I'll just toss you down there and run off." Dumphree looked at me with his usual crazy eyed look but he'd already seen me try and kill them with magic so he kept his stupid mouth shut.

"Do you think it was what was in the vault Mr. Lorentino?" Trembles had a shaky way of talking exactly as you'd expect from a guy who was barely taller than a shorty and weighed less than most peoples small children. He apparently was useful for getting into dark small places, part of the reason he was so afraid all the time.

"Probably, or it could have been a curse on the vault itself, have to say never seen living dead like this exactly and not one that can spread the disease to someone else." I mean I've fought undead armies, but not ones that didn't have some ultimate thing driving them, this one seemed content to just spread itself, which was weird. There was also the whole fire didn't solve the situation that bothered me.

"We have to keep digging." Dumphree broke his silence and tremble had to hold me back from throwing him down there to his men.

"Yeah sure unearthing the door only got your men turned into an undead horde, we totally should open it and like wipe out the whole world you idiot!" Dumphree went to speak again and I raised my fist up in fire and he quieted down.

And so it went three idiots on top of a canvas tent hoping the stupid thing didn't give way and spill us into a bunch of carnivorous monsters down below. Wasn't the first time I'd ended up like that, wouldn't be the last. But at least this stay was brief because Dumphree did something idiotic and me and Trembles ended up having to deal with him sooner rather than later. But that's tomorrow I've written enough today and my wrist hurts, type writers are nice to alleviate the penmenship issue, but man alive they are garbage on my wrists!