Shamanahahahahahaha

"Look I'm just here to get my property then I'll be out of your hair." Yes this was the lie I was going to go with, the old "I already own the thing you have stolen" Its not exactly the smartest move, I mean they stole it anyway, so its not like they care too much about having stolen property, but it can get you in the door and that lets you kill whoever has your property.  In this case I was already in the door and trapped inside, but look once you have a plan you tend to go all in, or I do anyway.

"You are now our property." I was in what had formerly been a sitting room, a couple winding stair cases lead to an upper floor area and doors beyond it, down below were also doors that probably lead to either a dining room or I some kind of cultist orgy room (yes those were the only two options).

"I'd like to see the slip on that, I'm pretty sure slavery is now illegal in these lands AND I'm also pretty sure I did not sell myself accidentally." Pretty sure, I mean I'd signed a lot of random things since becoming a citizen, so I wasn't entirely sure.

"Silence fool, you now belong to Shamanar."

"The god Shamanar?"

"No god, just Shamanar."

"So like Shamanar is not a god, just Shamanar? That doesn't make any sense." The voice waited, I was still standing near the door, but I was entirely confused here.  I mean I was under the impression he was a god, but now he was just saying his name.  That made no sense.

"You are a petulant child." Hilariously the voice had turned from being booming and threatning to kind of petty and insulting.

"Look we were talking right lets keep talking." At this point I was also trying to see if there was a simple way through the door.  It was metal, but I could have just burned down the wall next to it, which was not metal, but could have been pretty thick, which made the burning not reliable enough for me to use it (because the last time I did something like that was when I was completely ball insane, and while I'm not normally "sane" I like to think of self preservation).  Also I had to get that stupid book.

"DIE!!!" The voice returned to its anger and with it came a horde of the undead (naturally). They poured forth from above and below.

"Well this is not a very good negotiating tactic at all."  And it totally was not.

On Animals and The Traps we Spring

"So do you have any tips here?" We were outside of the path that lead up to the fortress of the Cult of Shamanar (well I thought thats what they were called, its not like there was a sign out front). When I turned to Toneron he was already riding off, which was a step up from his normal just dissappearing.

"DON'T TOUCH THE BOOK OH AND DON'T DIE!" He shouted over his shoulder alerting everyone who didn't already know I was there to my prescense (with friends like these!).  I dismounted from my horse and left it to munch grass in the plain leading up to the mountain hideaway of the cultists (I prefer cultists who are just out in the open of a huge field, much easier to just murder... err talk to). Making my way up the path I had images of rifleman shooting the crap out of me from hidden positions, but no one was there.  There wasn't any recent foot traffic (it had been a dry week so dust was all over the mountain path an no footprints, hoof tracks, or cart lines) either, which is a little alarming.  I mean even if you are a cult you have still have to eat (well in theory unless you're a cannibal cult, but even then you'd run out of followers and have to find more eventually).

The front door of the fortress was wide open.  It was a large double door set up with a huge latch on the outside (which seemed odd, almost like it was designed to keep people in instead of keeping others out, this as they say is foreshadowing). Again no one was around, I saw no footprints leading inside, and like any animal about to get caught in a trap I walked in with absolutely no caution.  So no sooner was I inside than the doors slammed behind me and the latch ratched close.

"Welcome to your doom!" The Voice overhead boomed and I cursed my luck.  I mean I swear I scheduled my doom for next week!

Gods Got a Lot of Names

"I was wondering when you'd show up." I had been riding on my horse for a couple hours, passed a lot of traffic going back to Rosetia, didn't see a lot going in the direction I was going in, but it wasn't like I was heading to a trade destination (cults don't have the best trade opportunities, unless you count being alive and then being dead as a commodity).

"I've been busy, its not easy being kicked out of a country as I'm sure you know all too well Trezlan." Toneron was on a horse of his own, probably to keep pace with me though I doubted he needed it.

"Thanks to you."

"Well you're welcome. Ronerawth was strangling you anyway, you didn't realize it, but you had gotten soft, you need excitement." I rolled my eyes, but I don't think he noticed it.

"So you know anything of Shamanar?" I figured whatever Toneron was he might know if this god I'd never heard of.

"Nope not a thing, and I'd been racking my brain ever since Nidget had told me about his problem."

"How long did it take you?"

"About three minutes." To stop laughing at Nidget being blue is the subtext you are probably missing out on here.

"Do you think getting the book back and take the curse off?" We passed a young couple going in the other direction they had a small child who had a hacking cough that was loud enough for me to wince.  Toneron looked a little too long for my taste at the family, I noted that maybe he was a carrier of disease.

"Couldn't hurt, I mean its the most likely reason Nidget got cursed, now whether putting it back takes the curse off? I don't know, could just be a curse for disturbing the book, which is why the Cult paid him do it instead of doing it themselves.  A bit sad they didn't just sacrifice one of their members though, I tell you cults today no sense of self sacrifice." He chuckled a bit at the end there, I kind of got he was saying they used to kill cult members for belief, but again, its kind of creepy.

"Still strange I don't know who Shamanar is."

"Gods have a lot of names Trezlan." He smiled again, maybe he's a god too? A god of disease? MAYBE?

"This has been enlightening as usual Toneron."

"You know Trezlan I'd be more enlightening if you knew more, since I am a figment of your imagination." I stopped dead, was I that crazy? Had I made up Toneron?

"That's not possible." I was saying it out loud if only to make it seem less possible, if that makes any sense.

"You're right its not, and if I was an asshole I would have just dissappeared after I had said it, but you should have seen your face!" I was relieved, if only partially worried, maybe my crazy was just taking a moment to make me think Toneron was real? I'm still not a hundred percent convinced.

"At least my life isn't boring." And it continues not to be boring, although I could do with less possible hallucination/god/disease vectors like Toneron not showing up.  It was pleasant he rode with me all the way to the cultists, I think out of some kind of morbid curiosity, to tell you the truth that's also why I was there.  I still wanted to know what kind of God was Shamanar!

Seen One Cult of Crazy God Worshippers

"You are not coming with me." I had my horse loaded up with supplies (I had one horse now, having sold the other one upon arriving at Rosetia, I did not plan on moving again anytime soon, and still have not). Supplies in this case meant bullets, explosives, and a couple magical items I would be happier if the Guard did not know I had in my possession.

"I can help you!" He was causing a bit of a stir amongst the early morning trade caravaner and ruffians looking for a few spots of coin.  People with blue skin tend to attract attention it appeared.

"Like you helped yourself into this situation? No you'd slow me down, and you'd also show the cult exactly why I'm there."

"You don't know how to deal with these people!"

"Nidget I've been around I've dealt with cultists, I'll just calmly reason with them that the book is cursed and that I have to do the right thing."

"I'm a dead man." Nidget started wandering off.  I of course didn't mention once the calm reasoning was over I'd just kill them all horrifically and take the book from their dead hands, I didn't mention it because I was on the damn street and I'm not an idiot (well completely an idiot I was helping Nidget here).

"Watch my store I'll be back soonish, well maybe soon, but if not later than I'll be back when I am.  Look just make sure my store doesn't burn down, ALSO TRY NOT TO DIE!" I rode off into the morning sun and I think Nidget flipped me off. As is normal for me I had no plan, no way of actually accomplishing my goal, and no idea how bad this cult was.  That's a lot of No's without a lot of knows, no?

The Curse of Shamanar

"So you stole something and you got cursed that sound about right?" I had lit a lamp and after stifling all the chuckles at Nidgets blue appearence finally got around to him telling me how I can resolve his issue.

"It was more complicated than that Trezlan." Nidget was sitting on the ground (I had no chairs, or furniture, its always the simple things you forget when starting over), he seemed moderately annoyed at me guessing at what had happened.

"All right enlighten me."

"Ok so I was took on a job to aquire an object."

"Steal."

"Aquire," He made sure to highlight aquire, again he was stealing it, "The object was a holy book to a god named Shamanar..."

"Wait Shamanar? I've litterally never heard of this god." And here I thought I knew everything, well I tell people I know everything, same thing really.

"You are just going to interupt me this whole time aren't you?"

"Yes."

"So anyway this book, was apparently though lost during the war, but I found it fairly easily, it was at monastery on the coast. I thought maybe the monks had been killed or something, because it appeared empty when I got inside and the book was just waiting on a pedestal."

"And that didn't cause you to worry at all that the book was just sitting out in the open like that and no one else had ever taken it?"

"Nope."

"Gods you're an idiot, continue."

"So I grabbed the book, see it wasn't even stealing it was just out in the open! And gave it to the guy who wanted it, not a damn day later my skin was blue and my dreams are plagued with people telling me I'm going to die."

"So you need me to bring the book back and hopefully uncurse you? Sounds simple enough."

"One problem uhh the guy I gave the book to still has it, and he uhh doesn't have a problem with whats about to happen to me."

"So you need me to get the book back and then return it? Still shouldn't be that hard."

"The guy who has it runs a cult up in the mountains of a stronghold." Nidget blurted it out like a child telling you they just pissed on the floor.

I stared at him for a second, rubbed my beard and then said, "I hate you so much Nidget."

Blue Me Away

"Nidget I don't have to do anything for you." You'll wonder how I went from him being my savior to him being my annoyance, theres not some big story here.  I know his family is a den of thieves and he lived down to their expectations.  I know just about every problem Nidget gets into are his own damn making, and anytime he comes to me for anything its because he's tried every one else and I'm his last resort.  Which is insulting! I should be his first turn down not his last!

"You owe me Lorentino, you owe my family!" Nidget was in the dark in my store (Rosetia had electricity, but not in the outlying areas where I was located, and I hadn't really bothered to set up oil lamps). I was a bit put off by him being in the shadows, its never a good thing for a thief to be in hiding.

"Come out of the dark so I can see you clearly Nidget, I'm not negotiating with the darkness." He emerged and I laughed.  I laughed and laughed.  I actually lost my footing and fell to the ground laughing.  He tried talking to me a couple times and all I could do was laugh.

"This is serious Trezlan."

"I can see that you are real blue in the face about it." I laughed some more.  You see Nidget was head to toe blue, his entire skin color had been changed to deep sea blue.  So you may see why I had an issue taking him seriously.

"Trezlan come on help me."

"Ok Nidget let me go find a can of paint and we'll fix you right up." He frowned at me and gods help me I tried to take him seriously.

"I'm cursed Trezlan, I need your help to get it taken off." I've dealt with curses, never ones that turned someones skin blue, but there is a first time for everything, my normal motto.

"Get Andre to help you, he's like your life partner or something?" Nidget looked away.

"He's at some kind of religious retreat! I don't have time for him to come back!"

"Ok ok I can help you Nidget, but you'll have to tell me everything, and I do mean everything, and you'll have to agree to watch my store while I'm gone."

"Why can't I come with you?"

"Because I respect myself way too much to have a blue shorty following me around." And with that Nidget told me how he got cursed blue, and why that meant he was in dire need of help.  Its an interesting story actually... you know the drill.

Law and Disorder

"I'm going to kill you!" It was a nightmare, but the voice seemed insistent and I've learned that ignoring things that threaten your doom is not to your benefit as a person (I say learned, but in reality its more been forced to learn). I woke up in a sweat, I'd been sleeping in the mostly empty shop for the past few days, it had recently been constructed and I was in the proccess of finishing the job (mostly cursing at sub par construction and pounding nails into things).  I didn't really have a bed, so much as some blankets on the floor (not the worst thing I've slept on let me tell you, which I probably have). I figured the nightmare had woken me up, but as my groggy self staggered off the cold wooden floor I could hear the sounds of conflict outside.

At first I thought maybe I was still dreaming, or just imagining the sounds of screams and gun fire, but no when I got out of my bedroom I could see through my windows there was a problem brewing outside. It was a rash of corrupted, though unlike the two bandits I'd dealt with on the way up, these were more mindless drones, probably being lead by a more intelligent also insane corrupted (thats the weird thing about the corruption, they are slobbering mad crazy, but work in groups like a hive mind, having been into the depths of madness I didn't remember some overall goal, but admittedly I wasn't amongst their ranks for long). Therod was out in the middle of them her claymore sword cutting a swath through the ranks, chunks of flesh splattered off the blade as she swung it like I've seen some band stand people swing batons.

I sighed to myself and went and grabbed my weapons, I had just overpaid to get a half shop erected, I was not about to let some corrupted jack holes destroy it. So with my sword, revolver and grump (grumpyness is the ultimate deadly weapon), I waded into the chaos.  I figured that Captain Therod wouldn't have an issue with me using magic to save the unpaved wooden shackled area of the city I called home, and she sort of nodded at me as I took up a position on her right. The corrupted were scary, but ultimately easy to dispatch, they weren't even that organized or plentiful.  Therod and her guards with some assistance from me dealt with them easily enough (I did manage to see Valrym at one point, he looked at me with his unique scorn I guess he's a reserve Guard member, which when I found out had me laughing pretty hard, the group that hates magic employs a god).

"Thank you for your assistance Mr. Lorentino." Its the nicest Therod has ever been to me, and thats saying something.

"I hope these attacks aren't common, I'd hate for it to affect my property values." She had walked me back to my store, though I think that was more that so she could watch over me and not make sure this wasn't my attack or plan. She didn't say anything just turned around and walked off.  I stepped into the store and knew someone else was in there with me.

"Trezlan you have to help me I'm about to get killed!" And thats where I'll leave you.