Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Nidget Has a Plan, and a Job, but Mostly a Plan

"You're still reading the paper!" Nidget was outraged, it had been a day since he had left me in a huff for not lowering my paper and here he was all angry I was still reading it.

"Well its not the same one if thats what you're implying, you do know they print a new one each day right?" I didn't know if he knew that, Nidget is kind of an idiot.

"Well this is enough of this we have to do something." He said we like we were great buddies who do things all the time, we are not, we do not, and I have no idea where he gets the idea that I'm just waiting for him to rescue you from my boring drudgery.  As I have said before I LIKE BORING DRUDGERY! Its what makes life worth living forever.

"Something being something you want to do." People always say they need my help, but what they normally need is a sucker to go along with a bad plan.

"Look I've already bought train tickets and so you are coming with me, get your stuff pack a bag and make sure to bring a revolver."

"Oh we're going on a train ride and I should bring a pistol? I'm sure this will end spectacularly." I have to admit I was partially intrigued, and not just because Nidget bought me a ticket somewhere.

"Pack fast the train leaves in an hour."

"Ok ok, warm climate cool climate?"

"Warm I think, I dunno have you ever been to Lork?" Lork the city of sin that had been exploded and put back together again (hey that rhymed kind of).

"Yeah a couple of times."

"Well than pack for that and get ready and stop making me late!" With that Nidget took off for the train station, and I was even more intrigued.  I packed a simple bag and made sure to bring a revolver with some ammunition (I'd been to Lork enough to know I'd probably have to use it). I still worried about whatever idiocy I was getting myself into, but I'll admit boring drudgery can be well pretty boring. So I turned the sign on my store to say I'd be back sometime (I specifically made that sign for when I go off on a dumb adventure knowing I would eventually) and made my way to the train station.  Train rides are always exciting in The Guard territory, you don't know if the tracks will go the whole way or you won't get robbed, its an adventure in an of itself!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Why Can't You Get a Job?

"I'm bored Trezlan." Nidget was in my shop pacing around like he just got bad news, the pitter of his feet on the boards amused me in a way I really can't qualify.

"And yet you feel the need to bother me anyway." I was reading the paper, it was amazing how fast things had calmed down post war, and how quickly things like free press had become.  Both Ronerawth and the Red Hand had never been one for letting papers just print whatever, but the Guard saw that differently and didn't feel the need to regulate what morons who print papers think.  And so papers like the Rosettia Herald (Herald being that jerk who tells you things are coming, its very appropriate) was born.

"We should be doing something Trezlan, taking on the world finding our fortunes..."

"Getting a job that doesn't involve pestering me while I read the paper."

"You've grown complacent! Where's the desire to roam Trezlan? Where's the desire to fight the good fight?"

"Sleep on uncomfortable ground, risk my life for no reason, end up not playing a signifigant part in anything."

"Could you at least stop reading the paper and look at me." I could tell from his voice he thought it was insulting the way I was casually dismissing him, which is a big reason for me doing it. I kept on reading the paper and I heard him leave out the door.  I'd have felt bad, but I really did not want to get involved with whatever he wanted me to get involved with, because thats not the kind of thing I did anymore.  I was trying to make my life as a normal shop owner, no more crazy adventures, no more rushing off in the middle of the night to save the world. Of course that didn't actually happen, but for one whole year I was living the boring dream!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Nidget is The Worst Story Teller Ever

If I had known the story of how they got me out of my nightmare was Nidget finding something in my pocket and Valrym smashing it, I would have just put that in a sentence and been done with it! But no I let an idiot have my journal and he wrote a really boring story that included such gems as "I ignored the problem." THANKS NIDGET YOU LITTLE JERK I HOPE YOU DIE OF A DISEASE THAT IS LIKE DYING OF BOREDOM!

So anyway I'm back to writing and that ridiculous red pen Nidget had has been destroyed. I wish I could regale you of a tale of a wicked awesome retribution story, but there wasn't one.  Mainly because I didn't know who was messing with me, I remembered little of it, and the amulet that would have been a hint got destroyed by Valrym.  So yeah I live now safe in the knowledge I could once again be trapped in a dream world and subject to the likes of Nidget to get help, which means I'd be pretty boned.

I can suspect that the person behind it was a servant of that evil dark thingy whatever the weird it was underneath Ronerawth's capitol because of its aversion to earth magic.  But thats not 100% because Valrym tells me everything hates earth magic (which makes me wish I knew some, just you know out of annoyance, what? I'm petty).  At least for me it hasn't come back.  I would ask Toneron if he had some kind of ward or sigil to lend me, but he hasn't been around for a bit, dude just up and disappeared.  The guns keep showing up, but the man? No where.  Probably a good idea with the anti magical stance The Guard takes, whatever Toneron is probably would trip the wards The Guard has for early warning (oh yeah thats a thing now, which is funny because it takes someone magical to draw the wards, but there are plenty of us around to do it because honestly most magical people hate other magical people as well).

All in all things settled in, I got to open my store to a rousing mediocre success (enough customers to make money, not enough to stop you know selling things).  And the gang of idiots I associate with drifted off to do whatever they do when they aren't pissing me off.  That's how my life went for a year and then, well things got a little more exciting, kind of.  Look this story will be better than Nidget's at least!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Resolution?

I started going through Trezlan's pockets immediately upon returning to the world of the not crazy.  Andre, Valrym, and Capt Therod were of course alarmed.

"Nidget do you really think now is an appropriate time to rob him?" Andre being the voice of reason as usual. I found what I was looking for, a gold medallion with the same symbol as the one I'd see the person in Trezlan's nightmare wearing.

"Valrym, smash this, burn it, destroy it somehow."

"Ok?" Valrym was confused but he took the symbol outside and smashed it. Trezlan awoke immediately.

"Trezlan!" I shouted and he slapped me very very hard.

"YOU LITTLE MIDGET BASTARD!" So now you know how we saved Trezlan, by looking his pocket for a trinket he was carrying that was secretly connecting him to an evil dream magician.  I realize I could have made this story a lot shorter just now.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

He Probably Deserves This

Running in a dream is actually fairly easy, you don't expend any real effort and you can effectively do it for as long and as hard as you want (though there is the problem of sometimes because you are in a dream the ground can suddenly not be the ground anymore). It's also weird becuase you almost want to be tired from all the running, but you can't feel it.  So its probably like Trezlan experiences everyday with being such an asshole and yet wanting people to feel sorry for things that happen to him. Anyway we outran the cave and then were in the middle of blackness, no corpses, no cave of the dead, just nothing.  Trezlan despite being in a dream was breathing extremely heavy, I guess that's how crazy he had gotten.

"You're here to kill me now Nidget?"

"I'm here to save you Trezlan."

"Right I've finally gone crazy, I'm imagining a shorty who put me here in the first place is here to save me."

"Well you probably have gone crazy, but..." And then he was gone, like there one second gone the next, in his place was a weird shadow of a man with a large glowing necklace.

"Trezlan is mine you midget." I knew I'd found the person responsible for the dream, and by found I mean he just came right out to me.

"Look I'm not a fan of his either, but killing him in a dream? That's kind of low man."

"BE GONE PEST!" He waived a hand at me, but I stayed where I was.  I couldn't see his face, again because he was in shadow, but I could tell he was a bit angry. "EARTH MAGIC?" His anger definatley came through in the scream and how the blackness suddenly became red.  I was then tossed rudely from the nightmare (like I felt literally thrown out of the world and back into my own body) it was so jarring I fell off the table I'd been propped on.

"Well that sucked." And it did, it really really did.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Valrym's Gambit

"I can only send one of you in there, its not like this is a normal thing to do." Trezlan was lying on the top of the bar, no other customers were in the Tavern, though it was around noon, most people don't start drinking that early.

"Can I say that I'm the worst person for this job?" I didn't want to do what Valrym was suggesting because well I'm a coward, and the very idea of going into Trezlan's mind to free him from his problem was terrifying.

"I was about to suggest you do it since this is probably all your fault." Captain Therod promised Valrym she would not arrest him for illegal magic, it wasn't a great promise but it was better than anything else we had going for us.

"I too think you should do it Nidget, if anything you are a master of getting into places you should not be, think of this as the ultimate place you should not be." Andre is always super helpful, and by helpful I mean an absolute dick at the moment you need it least.

"Well its decided then."

"Wait no it wasn't, these two assholes threw me under the cart and now you say its decided?"

"Works for me." All of them in unison. I almost wanted to run away, but I figured they'd just catch me and tie me to a chair or something. I sighed heavily to show my displeasure and then allowed Valrym to start his weird brain magic, well I thought it would be a ritual, but one moment I was standing next to Trezlan and the next I was in what appeared to be a cave filled with dead bodies.  I was still myself from a cursory glance (thank the gods for small favors) and I was armed though if that would help me remained to be seen.

"RRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!" Trezlan half naked and crazy eyed came sprinting by me, I was about to ask why he was running when I turned to face the direction he came from and saw a wall of bodies steadily advancing down the cave.  I'd like to say this was the most disturbing thing I saw in Trezlan's mind, but alas, it was the start of the crazy, not the end of it.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Captain Therod Suffers No Fools

"You're an idiot." This was Therod's polite first thought after we brought her to Trezlan.  I tell you its almost like the spirit of Trezlan was with us.

"He's a useful idiot though you have to admit Captain." Andre is always talking up my strong points.

"No I don't have to talk up his strong points of which I'm sure there aren't any, did either of you two think maybe he's just poisoned?" Andre looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders, Captain Therod sighed. She also checked Trezlan's eyes, and then his pulse.

"This is how you found him."

"Sure we'll go with that." I wasn't exactly going to say I knocked him out to the Captain of the damned Guard!

"Well I can't do anything for him." That makes two failed attempts by someone who I thought could help! I tell you its like I should get a real healer or something instead of these pepople of authority.

"Do you know anyone who can?" Andre was a lot nicer about it.

"Only healers I know are out of town right now, though I have heard rumors that the guy who runs the Flagon Slayer is some kind of healer, and I think he knows Trezlan."

"Worth a shot!" Now of course I didn't know at the time that Valrym knew Trezlan in a way that no one likes knowing someone, but its not my fault Trezlan is just that awful to everyone! Andre snatched up Trezlan like a small child and Therod let us use her horse to get him to the Flagon Slayer, and that's where the next leg of our not helping but totally helping Trezlan story continues!  I tell you Trezlan despite letting me write in his journal is getting all antsy about how long this story is going.  Its not like he's a short story teller either!