"You have no power here anymore." The Marked One's Brother (did I ever give his name? I can't recall it right now nor does it matter for obvious reasons) had pulled the green sword out of himself, the light went out on it and he casually tossed it to the ground.
"What have you done?" The Marked One seemed shocked at this turn of events despite his brother basically telling him before things had changed.
"I switched to the winning side, your gods can no longer contain me, you don't own me anymore brother I am my own man." I could hear the guard tromping our way, I started to feel like a caged rat or some other animal that isn't known for being not good.
"You will bring damnation to us all."
"Oh please I'll cast down these gods and become one myself which was our goal in the beginning, until you went crazy brother." A bit more backstory on that whole "kill the gods thing The Marked One was talking about."
"So where's Morley?" I had to ask and interject myself, the brother turned to me with an aghast look like I'd just said a really bad word.
"He told me you'd come Lorentino, he told me to expect some stupid petty insult and that you'd promise death, I told him that I'd kill you, and it seems like I'll get another chance for my master." For all his talk of godhood the brother was beholden to the realy power behind the throne, but I also knew that meant Morley wasn't around, he wouldn't be stupid enough to still be here once I'd appeared (because I somehow manage to survive, also he's not the kind of guy to get directly involved once his plan was in motion).
"Two things you might want to know." He rushed me the fist hit me in the stomach and I swear it felt like he knocked my liver out my ass (he didn't, well I don't think he did it did make my insides ache for a week though).
"And what would those two things be before you die fool?" He heard the click of the hammer, got a shocked look on his face and then the hammer fell and the bullet caught him just below the eye exploding the tissue there and taking the rest of the skull behind it. I shot him again in the other eye to be sure but his lifeless slump and empty corpse was enough to tell me the threat was done (and I did say two things didn't I?)
"Next time you embrace the power of different gods, be sure that those gods aren't beholden to another power entirely." Not that I think my bullets were special, or anything, but if there was one thing I'd known about fire arms, is that they respected no magical ability, no higher power, they were merely hunks of metal hurtled out of metal by gun powder, no magic spirit kept them going, and thus the power was beholden to no man or god (though I'm sure gods would be a lot harder to kill with a pistol, well real gods). The Marked One retrieved his sword the blade once again lit with green energy and he approached the front flap of the tent where the guards of the fallen brother were waiting.
"Any who approach me will die, your leader has fallen, your country will no further be punished by the gods but know the fate of a traitor and know that continued allegiance to the Red Hand will be met with death." He drew a line in the dirt and the line lit up with that same green energy. He didn't have to make true on his threat, true to his belief before the head of the snake dead the soldiers fled back to where they'd come from, I guess when your god has fallen its hard to believe he was a real one. And so our adventure came to a close, mostly, I'll go over the fall out tomorrow naturally.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
And So We Come Close To a Conclusion
After an epic conflict that teters on the boarder of believeability we arrived at the command tent of our enemy (it truely was epic, shame I can't write it down here, we totally didn't just sneak up on them at night in the dark because they had stupidly put their tent against a cliff face no it was an epic battle I'm totally not lying to you!) The tent was darkened as it was night our enemy was laying in a very well adorned wooden bed that must have been a real pain to move around for a temporary residence, but I guess thats the perk of being in charge.
"Watch the front door." That was my edict, to prevent people from coming through a canvas flap I tell you its like The Marked One did not appreciate my martial prowess (I know it made me sad too).
"You mean the flap of the tent? Yeah sure I'll watch that you know and if someone comes up I'll just wave my arms at them to go somewhere else." We were whispering (well I was whispering The Marked One's voice was already gutteral he didn't have to talk that low to "whisper") he looked at me with frustration, look it was a valid point, there was nothing to block should someone come in. I mean I could set fire to the tent, but that was way past counter intuitive and straight into damn stupid.
The Marked One drew his sword and I saw the green energy flowing out of it. He said something to the sleeping brother and then plunged the blade into the man's chest, which caused him to awake and start screaming (personally I would have decapitated him you know FOR THIS EXACT GODS DAMNED REASON!). On top of the jerk waking up and by extension waking up the entire rest of the camp. The damn thing didn't even kill him, he was very much alive just with a rather large sword plunged into his chest (you know a minor bother for most people). He slugged The Marked one and he went flying backwards comically, apparently he had gotten a bit more than just looking younger from Morley's necromancy.
"That was ill advised brother."
"Yeah no shit." That was me because I'm helpful like that. I tell you looking at a guy with a sword sticking out of him, and an entire camp full of his army waking up to come kill us, lead me to believe our plan had some fatal flaws in it that might have needed to be addressed before hand. Maybe.
"Watch the front door." That was my edict, to prevent people from coming through a canvas flap I tell you its like The Marked One did not appreciate my martial prowess (I know it made me sad too).
"You mean the flap of the tent? Yeah sure I'll watch that you know and if someone comes up I'll just wave my arms at them to go somewhere else." We were whispering (well I was whispering The Marked One's voice was already gutteral he didn't have to talk that low to "whisper") he looked at me with frustration, look it was a valid point, there was nothing to block should someone come in. I mean I could set fire to the tent, but that was way past counter intuitive and straight into damn stupid.
The Marked One drew his sword and I saw the green energy flowing out of it. He said something to the sleeping brother and then plunged the blade into the man's chest, which caused him to awake and start screaming (personally I would have decapitated him you know FOR THIS EXACT GODS DAMNED REASON!). On top of the jerk waking up and by extension waking up the entire rest of the camp. The damn thing didn't even kill him, he was very much alive just with a rather large sword plunged into his chest (you know a minor bother for most people). He slugged The Marked one and he went flying backwards comically, apparently he had gotten a bit more than just looking younger from Morley's necromancy.
"That was ill advised brother."
"Yeah no shit." That was me because I'm helpful like that. I tell you looking at a guy with a sword sticking out of him, and an entire camp full of his army waking up to come kill us, lead me to believe our plan had some fatal flaws in it that might have needed to be addressed before hand. Maybe.
Friday, April 5, 2013
I Was Worried It Wasn't Impossible
"So no army, no real plan, no support from your gods, and no hope of success." I think I summed up our situation perhaps best there.
"You're an optimist I take it Mr. Lorentino." They did provide us weird horses, so at least we weren't walking. I'd mention how we got from the cave to the world at large, but I don't really understand how we got there and back myself, some kind of spiritual whatever gods are weird ok lets leave it at that.
"I try to look at the bright side of life, so I know what I'm missing out on by being sent on stupid dangerous missions with little hope of success." See the grass is always greener, because I have to kill the crazy person on my side of the fence that like juggles shorties set on fire (it hasn't happened... yet).
"They will not expect a direct attack on their leadership, and without a head a snake will die."
"Unless its a two headed snake, than the other head will just bite you."
"There are not two headed snakes."
"Totally are."
"I am not getting into an argument with you about snakes Mr. Lorentino, but I am right and you are wrong." There totally are two headed snakes, probably.
"Regardless we'll get to the command tent, kill my brother and end this threat."
"And what about his country?"
"He has several heirs, one of them will bear his curse instead."
"That's really harsh."
"That is his punishment, that he now wishes it on someone else does not make it go away." I tell you its almost like the gods here care more about punishing people than they do actually helping (which puts them on par with gods everywhere, gods are hella petty). When I become a God I'll make sure to be really nice and... nope I'll be the pettiest petty who was ever petty. I know me, you know me, so I guess it understand why Gods are bad, because the people who believe in them are also petty. So it shall be.
"You're an optimist I take it Mr. Lorentino." They did provide us weird horses, so at least we weren't walking. I'd mention how we got from the cave to the world at large, but I don't really understand how we got there and back myself, some kind of spiritual whatever gods are weird ok lets leave it at that.
"I try to look at the bright side of life, so I know what I'm missing out on by being sent on stupid dangerous missions with little hope of success." See the grass is always greener, because I have to kill the crazy person on my side of the fence that like juggles shorties set on fire (it hasn't happened... yet).
"They will not expect a direct attack on their leadership, and without a head a snake will die."
"Unless its a two headed snake, than the other head will just bite you."
"There are not two headed snakes."
"Totally are."
"I am not getting into an argument with you about snakes Mr. Lorentino, but I am right and you are wrong." There totally are two headed snakes, probably.
"Regardless we'll get to the command tent, kill my brother and end this threat."
"And what about his country?"
"He has several heirs, one of them will bear his curse instead."
"That's really harsh."
"That is his punishment, that he now wishes it on someone else does not make it go away." I tell you its almost like the gods here care more about punishing people than they do actually helping (which puts them on par with gods everywhere, gods are hella petty). When I become a God I'll make sure to be really nice and... nope I'll be the pettiest petty who was ever petty. I know me, you know me, so I guess it understand why Gods are bad, because the people who believe in them are also petty. So it shall be.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Inside Voices Not Inside My Head Voices
"You must forgive Lorentino my gods, he does not understand how precarious his position is." People always apologize for me, I usually make them wish they didn't, such is the way I live life.
"HE WILL RECOGNIZE OUR AUTHORITY OR HE WILL SUFFER!" The lead female god's voice reverberated in my head, it was painful, I swear Gods never appreciate how awful it is to hear them talk.
"Can we tone it down a little bit, the ears in my brain are ringing." The lead god looked at me like a dog would when you scold it for farting and then to my amazment the voice softened.
"You are lucky to hear our voice and not perish, but we understand it can harm lesser beings." The Marked One also seemed a little surprised at the change, I personally welcomed it, anything that lead to less shouting in my head (well less shouting than normal) is appreciated.
"Well I thank you for the courtesy, but I doubt you brought us here to discuss how I'm lesser to you."
"We did not bring you here, our servant did, he feels he has to attone for his failings." I almost felt sadness in the voice, as if she was sad he felt that way.
"I do my lords, my brother seeks to reunite the brotherhood, and he has been aided by an outsider, I have failed in my duties." He kneeled to them I prefered standing even in the presense of gods I bow to no one.
"We had forseen this would happen, it is no more your fault than a passing storm sweeping the land, you have done well and honored your oath to us Marked One this will not mark you further." He relaxed if only a little, I noted of course they did not say he was absolved of his crime, just that he would not be punished further.
"I still spared this man against my oath even." As always I am the greater problem, country about to unite under a new regime and try and take over the world? Not really a problem, some asshole necromancer who got kidnapped and brought to their country against their will? Totally huge issue.
"You did well to spare him, as that was our will, he is a bad man yes, and his continued survival will only lead to more pain and suffering in this world, but he will be a force for good if only out of his own self interest, as he will no doubt aid you in the conflict ahead." I'm glad as long as I'm accidentally useful my horribleness is ok. I mean that, I have to accidentally be helpful more often.
"So what do you want from us?" The Marked one penance completed returned to the problem at hand.
"We want you to go to war." I almost passed out from the stupidity of it, a necromancer and some bastard play thing of the gods. Yeah we were totally going to win against an army lead by an immortally young elder backed by a necromancer of untold power. Let me tell you I thought we had it all wrapped up already!
"HE WILL RECOGNIZE OUR AUTHORITY OR HE WILL SUFFER!" The lead female god's voice reverberated in my head, it was painful, I swear Gods never appreciate how awful it is to hear them talk.
"Can we tone it down a little bit, the ears in my brain are ringing." The lead god looked at me like a dog would when you scold it for farting and then to my amazment the voice softened.
"You are lucky to hear our voice and not perish, but we understand it can harm lesser beings." The Marked One also seemed a little surprised at the change, I personally welcomed it, anything that lead to less shouting in my head (well less shouting than normal) is appreciated.
"Well I thank you for the courtesy, but I doubt you brought us here to discuss how I'm lesser to you."
"We did not bring you here, our servant did, he feels he has to attone for his failings." I almost felt sadness in the voice, as if she was sad he felt that way.
"I do my lords, my brother seeks to reunite the brotherhood, and he has been aided by an outsider, I have failed in my duties." He kneeled to them I prefered standing even in the presense of gods I bow to no one.
"We had forseen this would happen, it is no more your fault than a passing storm sweeping the land, you have done well and honored your oath to us Marked One this will not mark you further." He relaxed if only a little, I noted of course they did not say he was absolved of his crime, just that he would not be punished further.
"I still spared this man against my oath even." As always I am the greater problem, country about to unite under a new regime and try and take over the world? Not really a problem, some asshole necromancer who got kidnapped and brought to their country against their will? Totally huge issue.
"You did well to spare him, as that was our will, he is a bad man yes, and his continued survival will only lead to more pain and suffering in this world, but he will be a force for good if only out of his own self interest, as he will no doubt aid you in the conflict ahead." I'm glad as long as I'm accidentally useful my horribleness is ok. I mean that, I have to accidentally be helpful more often.
"So what do you want from us?" The Marked one penance completed returned to the problem at hand.
"We want you to go to war." I almost passed out from the stupidity of it, a necromancer and some bastard play thing of the gods. Yeah we were totally going to win against an army lead by an immortally young elder backed by a necromancer of untold power. Let me tell you I thought we had it all wrapped up already!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Godsleep
"Get up Lorentino." I hear this so often I tell you between get up and "You're going to die now." I have my entire life story covered. Yep just people telling me to get up, and people telling me to die, I think I've even been told to get up because its time to die which was the accumulation of a life well lived if I ever heard one.
"Just a couple more minutes." I say this even when I wake myself up, I don't know who I'm addressing in that case, probably the god of waking people up.
"AWAKEN!" And I was, the word reverberated in my ears and in my body, clearly The Marked One had called in help, I also noticed we weren't in our mountain meadow but in a damned cave, because of course we were. There were several beings in a green light, I assumed were the Gods the one who had called out to me to awaken was of course in a female form, naturally (I'm not a sexist, just if my day is going to ruined its going to be by a woman, wait that means I'm a sexist, SO BE IT!)
"Funny I don't remember ordering any gods, oh waiter I think you got my order wrong." As in all things being an asshole comes paramount even over dealing with Gods. I could see from the Marked One's grimace that that was the wrong thing to say, but again I care for saying the right thing like I care for being in fashion, not at all.
"LORENTINO YOU SHALL OBSERVE US OR YOU SHALL PERISH!" And with that more people telling me what I had to do came to pass. I'll go into it more tomorrow but I'm in a bit of a rush today I kind of uhh set fire to an orphanage that may or may not have contained a lot of orphans. Funny story that I hope to never have to tell (at least until the statute of limitations runs out on that, is that even a thing? It totally should be).
"Just a couple more minutes." I say this even when I wake myself up, I don't know who I'm addressing in that case, probably the god of waking people up.
"AWAKEN!" And I was, the word reverberated in my ears and in my body, clearly The Marked One had called in help, I also noticed we weren't in our mountain meadow but in a damned cave, because of course we were. There were several beings in a green light, I assumed were the Gods the one who had called out to me to awaken was of course in a female form, naturally (I'm not a sexist, just if my day is going to ruined its going to be by a woman, wait that means I'm a sexist, SO BE IT!)
"Funny I don't remember ordering any gods, oh waiter I think you got my order wrong." As in all things being an asshole comes paramount even over dealing with Gods. I could see from the Marked One's grimace that that was the wrong thing to say, but again I care for saying the right thing like I care for being in fashion, not at all.
"LORENTINO YOU SHALL OBSERVE US OR YOU SHALL PERISH!" And with that more people telling me what I had to do came to pass. I'll go into it more tomorrow but I'm in a bit of a rush today I kind of uhh set fire to an orphanage that may or may not have contained a lot of orphans. Funny story that I hope to never have to tell (at least until the statute of limitations runs out on that, is that even a thing? It totally should be).
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Exposition of BATTLE!
"So this is all your fault?" I dodged past a dude with a sword and shot him in the back of the head, we were about half way down the hallway, bodies were piling up The Marked One had his own sword out and he was literally cleaving a path forward.
"Well I wouldn't say its all my fault, but yes the base problem for which we are currently involved could be linked back to me overall." One of the men cowered in front of him and it did him no good, his knees were still knocking as his torso went flying in the other direction.
"Yes was all I needed." I threw some flame behind us to keep the charge of clowns entering into the small secret passageway at bay. Sure they could fire arrows (and some did) but the fire also obscured the shots, it also made them flaming arrows, so it came out in the wash.
"I'm not going to take moralization from a murderer who extends his life by murdering others. I have paid for my choices over these hundreds of years Mr. Lorentino, thats at least more than you have done." I would have pointed out that I too had suffered, but some jerk came rushing through the flame and attempted to grab me, I impaled him on my sword and pushed him back, where he tried to crawl towards me, they were anything if not dedicated.
"So you were a general or something?" I had sprinted down the hallway, at the end I could see some of the weird wind riding contraptions. I also saw explosive barrels, my favorite kind.
"Not a general, The General, I united these lands and sought to fight the gods themselves, I failed." We embarked on one of the contraptions (the marked one flew it, or rode it, I have no idea whats the best way of saying that). When we were safely away from the exit I sent a gout of flame backwards, the explosion sent our pursuers who had managed to get by my fire earlier falling to their dooms.
"Was there a reason to fight the gods or just because it was a day that ended in Y."
"There was a reason, but not one that I would tell you Lorentino." I was about to say fair enough but we started plummeting ourselves, apparently the Marked One despite living a long time, had never learned how to ride the winds either (which made the decision to pilot a bit dumber). We crashed into the side of a mountain, thankfully there was a small meadow below where we collided. Unfortunately slamming into a mountain on a wind skiff thingy really really hurts. The marked one didn't seem that bothered by it, but it knocked the wind out of me (ha riding a wind thing knocked the wind out of myself comedy gold) and I hurt all over so I decided best to lay on the ground for a little bit, you know take stock of everything I had just heard. Ok so I also fell asleep, sue me I hadn't slept in a bit and had used a bunch of magic, that takes a lot out of you, you ungrateful jerk reader... Look I'm sorry its been a rough day ok, just read tomorrow's entry I'm sure I'm nicer there.
"Well I wouldn't say its all my fault, but yes the base problem for which we are currently involved could be linked back to me overall." One of the men cowered in front of him and it did him no good, his knees were still knocking as his torso went flying in the other direction.
"Yes was all I needed." I threw some flame behind us to keep the charge of clowns entering into the small secret passageway at bay. Sure they could fire arrows (and some did) but the fire also obscured the shots, it also made them flaming arrows, so it came out in the wash.
"I'm not going to take moralization from a murderer who extends his life by murdering others. I have paid for my choices over these hundreds of years Mr. Lorentino, thats at least more than you have done." I would have pointed out that I too had suffered, but some jerk came rushing through the flame and attempted to grab me, I impaled him on my sword and pushed him back, where he tried to crawl towards me, they were anything if not dedicated.
"So you were a general or something?" I had sprinted down the hallway, at the end I could see some of the weird wind riding contraptions. I also saw explosive barrels, my favorite kind.
"Not a general, The General, I united these lands and sought to fight the gods themselves, I failed." We embarked on one of the contraptions (the marked one flew it, or rode it, I have no idea whats the best way of saying that). When we were safely away from the exit I sent a gout of flame backwards, the explosion sent our pursuers who had managed to get by my fire earlier falling to their dooms.
"Was there a reason to fight the gods or just because it was a day that ended in Y."
"There was a reason, but not one that I would tell you Lorentino." I was about to say fair enough but we started plummeting ourselves, apparently the Marked One despite living a long time, had never learned how to ride the winds either (which made the decision to pilot a bit dumber). We crashed into the side of a mountain, thankfully there was a small meadow below where we collided. Unfortunately slamming into a mountain on a wind skiff thingy really really hurts. The marked one didn't seem that bothered by it, but it knocked the wind out of me (ha riding a wind thing knocked the wind out of myself comedy gold) and I hurt all over so I decided best to lay on the ground for a little bit, you know take stock of everything I had just heard. Ok so I also fell asleep, sue me I hadn't slept in a bit and had used a bunch of magic, that takes a lot out of you, you ungrateful jerk reader... Look I'm sorry its been a rough day ok, just read tomorrow's entry I'm sure I'm nicer there.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Bushels of Fun
Why not just burn the arrows? A simple question (or a simpler why not just burn the archers?) Well arrows in flight are dangerous, sure I can easily set fire to the wood shafts leading to the hardened metal heads, but unless I really turn up the juice all I've done is create flaming arrows with super heated arrow heads. Doesn't mean I don't still do it of course (because some hope is better than no hope), but in case you're wondering why I fear being shot up into a pin cushion there you go. The brother of Tizan had stepped out the back (damned secret passages!) a part of his entourage in tow. Myself and The Marked one remained archers had their bows drawn arrows at the ready.
"This turned out exactly as I thought it would." They all took ready to fire and I brought up my own power, it was again a risk, but I'd rather die to possibly super heated metal arrow shafts I tried to stop, then you know stand there and look stupid (well stupider). Time seemed to slow down, I heard the order to fire and I brought forward a wall of flame, I could see the flaming bits of arrow coming at me and I ducked hoping my robes would somehow block arrows (look when you're about to get shot up like an inverse porcupine you do silly things). Instead of the chunk of flesh and the burning pain I heard the clang of steel on steel and the clatter of objects hitting the ground. The Marked One's formerly sheathed sword was now out, its green blade large and glowing.
"That was a mistake." Moving supernaturally fast he made short work of the archers. Like I was still breathing heavy when he impaled three people on his sword, kicked those three guys into a fourth, pulled the blade out and beheaded a fifth. It wasn't natural ability, I figured the Marked Ones were granted something, but this went above and beyond simple extra power granted an executioner. He finished and shook the blood and gore off his blade, which left a larger puddle than I prefer to write down.
"I thought you didn't take out your sword."
"I never said that, I just prefered not to, I also prefered to not have to murder people just following orders, but once you've crossed that line all that's left is bodies and regret." The sword returned to its sheathe, I swear I felt for just a brief moment the world snapping back to a normal reality, like when it was out something was off and I just now noticed it since it had returned to the way it was before.
"So we pursue your brother and kill him too?"
"He's already gone, I'm sure he'll have gotten on an airship to elsewhere, more men will be waiting for us and we'll have to fight our way out of the city." He said it like a foregone conclusion, he was right, but still I could sense regret.
"Well why keep them waiting?" I had my revolver drawn and ready.
"Indeed Mr. Lorentino, Indeed."
"This turned out exactly as I thought it would." They all took ready to fire and I brought up my own power, it was again a risk, but I'd rather die to possibly super heated metal arrow shafts I tried to stop, then you know stand there and look stupid (well stupider). Time seemed to slow down, I heard the order to fire and I brought forward a wall of flame, I could see the flaming bits of arrow coming at me and I ducked hoping my robes would somehow block arrows (look when you're about to get shot up like an inverse porcupine you do silly things). Instead of the chunk of flesh and the burning pain I heard the clang of steel on steel and the clatter of objects hitting the ground. The Marked One's formerly sheathed sword was now out, its green blade large and glowing.
"That was a mistake." Moving supernaturally fast he made short work of the archers. Like I was still breathing heavy when he impaled three people on his sword, kicked those three guys into a fourth, pulled the blade out and beheaded a fifth. It wasn't natural ability, I figured the Marked Ones were granted something, but this went above and beyond simple extra power granted an executioner. He finished and shook the blood and gore off his blade, which left a larger puddle than I prefer to write down.
"I thought you didn't take out your sword."
"I never said that, I just prefered not to, I also prefered to not have to murder people just following orders, but once you've crossed that line all that's left is bodies and regret." The sword returned to its sheathe, I swear I felt for just a brief moment the world snapping back to a normal reality, like when it was out something was off and I just now noticed it since it had returned to the way it was before.
"So we pursue your brother and kill him too?"
"He's already gone, I'm sure he'll have gotten on an airship to elsewhere, more men will be waiting for us and we'll have to fight our way out of the city." He said it like a foregone conclusion, he was right, but still I could sense regret.
"Well why keep them waiting?" I had my revolver drawn and ready.
"Indeed Mr. Lorentino, Indeed."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)