"So you're the true power in these lands?" Nidget had left me and Hanlon, because really he'd done all he was supposed to do, and I think he was terrified of Hanlon. Me? I was curious. So I decided to walk with Hanlon for a time, he offered saying I was in no condition to walk home alone, and I did not disagree.
"In a manner of speaking yes Trezlan, I'm a fire arm manufacturer, and firearms are the true power in the world now." It made sense, and I would have believed anyone else if they weren't Hanlon.
"Right of course and your magical army, the ability to absorb the ability of a god, and to then turn that god into ash with one shot, just because you make weapons." I know people think I'm stupid, I had no idea they think I'm that stupid!
"Planning and execution Trezlan. You think I appear out of nowhere, but that's more I have people following you and I know these lands better than you do. It's also how I can set up an army in advance of you deciding to stop for an evening and waiting for my pray to walk into it. And knowing it was Chaos I was dealing with to guard myself against his attack and have one of my own ready to kill him. You choose to remain ignorant of the world around you because its easier for you to believe everyone else struggles with the basics like you do, its not the case, it will never be the case and I hope one day you clue into this."
"I don't believe anything you said."
"And that is why you'll never change, and why you'll continue to believe I'm a seperate person and not just you as you should be." And with that he was gone. And I'm pretty sure he was lying, I mean I don't own Hanlon firearms last I checked, nor did I somehow arrange big hits on gods. But that was Hanlon, obscure his real realities with fake lies. At least I hope that's whats going on, because I swear to whatever Gods I still believe in if I'm super extra crazy and half a split personality who's way more successful at things I'll be really sad.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Friday, November 8, 2013
The One True Lesson in Life
Bullets were flying everywhere, just the sound of rifle rapports and flesh exploding all around me. It was weird at one moment everything was quiet, and then the next absolutely chaos (which was hilarious considering who was doing all the dying). I ducked down and put my hands over my head. I mean it wouldn't actually save me or anything, but in moment of extreme terror turtling up like a moron is my standard go to. I couldn't see the aggressors but there had to have been hundreds perhaps thousands of them. And just as soon as they had arrived the mysterious rifle clad assailants were gone and Chaos's chain legion were gone.
"And now you see the real god in this world." Hanlon had the smile of victory Chaos just sneered, his flesh vibrated and what semblance of normalcy was gone. He was an unhinged monster.
"You have not won Hanlon, Chaos will always be in this world, Order is the wrong state of being, Order is the unnatural part of this world. Chaos will always be here, and with it I have power." It sounded more like trying to talk himself into the belief rather than an actual belief. I should know I've done the same thing about several things in my life.
"Chaos will always be in the world this is true, but you are mistaken in that you will always be in it. You have stepped out of your role, you have become bigger than yourself and you could not shoulder the burden." Hanlon drew his pistol out and shot Chaos right in the head, the creature looked confused for a moment and then fell to the ground. The hole spread from his head and his whole body turned to black ash and then blew away in the wind.
"So you just killed the god of chaos?" Hanlon smiled.
"I had really hoped this would have just worked itself out normally, but no of course I had to get involved. There are times Trezlan I wonder how this world ever got along without me in it." And so ended the war of Chaos, the world hardly knew the danger they were in, like most things it was handeld by people who do those kind of things. It did make me wonder what Hanlon did when he wasn't swinging in give me an opportunity to almost get killed. But like most thought in that vein of things I felt it best to let it go.
"And now you see the real god in this world." Hanlon had the smile of victory Chaos just sneered, his flesh vibrated and what semblance of normalcy was gone. He was an unhinged monster.
"You have not won Hanlon, Chaos will always be in this world, Order is the wrong state of being, Order is the unnatural part of this world. Chaos will always be here, and with it I have power." It sounded more like trying to talk himself into the belief rather than an actual belief. I should know I've done the same thing about several things in my life.
"Chaos will always be in the world this is true, but you are mistaken in that you will always be in it. You have stepped out of your role, you have become bigger than yourself and you could not shoulder the burden." Hanlon drew his pistol out and shot Chaos right in the head, the creature looked confused for a moment and then fell to the ground. The hole spread from his head and his whole body turned to black ash and then blew away in the wind.
"So you just killed the god of chaos?" Hanlon smiled.
"I had really hoped this would have just worked itself out normally, but no of course I had to get involved. There are times Trezlan I wonder how this world ever got along without me in it." And so ended the war of Chaos, the world hardly knew the danger they were in, like most things it was handeld by people who do those kind of things. It did make me wonder what Hanlon did when he wasn't swinging in give me an opportunity to almost get killed. But like most thought in that vein of things I felt it best to let it go.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Chaotic Jack Ass
The not so well dressed man was more unhinged. The suit was just tatters now, his body was a mishappen mass of skin, bone, and what appeared to be fragments of metal chain. He stood amongst his chain gang lovingly carressing one of them before stepping forward. I could also see what appeared to be smoke eminating from him. Something was definately off with the not so well dressed man. Hanlon seemed bored, Nidget terrified, me I had a splitting headache and I was tired so it was a great day for everything Lorentino.
"YOU ARE A FOOL LORENTINO!" His voice was booming.
"Inside voices please I got a head ache." A chain wrapped around my throat and silenced me, it was kind of a crushing burning pain, at least it distracted from my head ache.
"You will speak when allowed to speak mortal." The not so well dressed man at least used a quieter voice this time.
"Chaos is this really necessary?" Hanlon again seemed more perturbed than anything.
"Oh so you do know who I am Hanlon? Is that why you don't want to deal with me?"
"You have killed some of my people, you have stolen my weapons, and you expect me to want to deal with you?"
"I expect you to be a business man you twerp, I AM A GOD!" Now I don't know what Hanlon is but I figured this was probably not the best way of securing his help. It was interesting that we were dealing with what appeared to be the god of Chaos? Why would there even be such a thing? And why didn't he love me? I MEAN I CAUSE CHAOS EVERYWHERE I GO!
"Yes I see your godhood is readily apparent in your minions and actions. I mean what God can't fail to take over a country while using a scattered force of fools and has to demand weapons to equip his army?" Chaos charged forward and smacked Hanlon, who did not flinch, he did not even register the blow, I could almost feel the shockwave of power the god tried to unleash, but it faltered, Hanlon for whatever he was, was not moved by the power of a god. And that terrified me.
"What are you?"
"Something you would have been better off ignoring." And then all kind of shit broke loose like a crazy damn of crazy. I'll tell you tommorrow, my throat aches from the memory of that chain around it.
"YOU ARE A FOOL LORENTINO!" His voice was booming.
"Inside voices please I got a head ache." A chain wrapped around my throat and silenced me, it was kind of a crushing burning pain, at least it distracted from my head ache.
"You will speak when allowed to speak mortal." The not so well dressed man at least used a quieter voice this time.
"Chaos is this really necessary?" Hanlon again seemed more perturbed than anything.
"Oh so you do know who I am Hanlon? Is that why you don't want to deal with me?"
"You have killed some of my people, you have stolen my weapons, and you expect me to want to deal with you?"
"I expect you to be a business man you twerp, I AM A GOD!" Now I don't know what Hanlon is but I figured this was probably not the best way of securing his help. It was interesting that we were dealing with what appeared to be the god of Chaos? Why would there even be such a thing? And why didn't he love me? I MEAN I CAUSE CHAOS EVERYWHERE I GO!
"Yes I see your godhood is readily apparent in your minions and actions. I mean what God can't fail to take over a country while using a scattered force of fools and has to demand weapons to equip his army?" Chaos charged forward and smacked Hanlon, who did not flinch, he did not even register the blow, I could almost feel the shockwave of power the god tried to unleash, but it faltered, Hanlon for whatever he was, was not moved by the power of a god. And that terrified me.
"What are you?"
"Something you would have been better off ignoring." And then all kind of shit broke loose like a crazy damn of crazy. I'll tell you tommorrow, my throat aches from the memory of that chain around it.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Fools Damn Fools, Lorentinos
"Nidget, Trezlan you apparently both fail at reading maps." Hanlon appeared out of nowhere as expected.
"You had a map Nidget?" He withdrew a leather map from his coat pocket, it appeared quite soaked from the swamp journey we had been involved in.
"It was poorly marked." I snatched it from his hands and could see it was extremely clear and Nidget is a gods damned idiot.
"In my defense I had a head injury." Hanlon shook his head and breathed out. I swear everytime I think Hanlon isn't human, he does something that makes him seem very human. Well aside from showing up completely out of the blue without a horse or way of traveling.
"At least you escaped."
"I told you I'd get him out Hanlon, I always honor my word." Nidget of course was lying.
"No you don't Mr. Pavorossi you only did this out of fear, do not mistake my kindness to you as weakness or you will find that said kindness can mask maliciousness understand?" His tone had changed from his normal put upon way of speaking to very harsh. I was kind of frightened of the change.
"Sort of?"
"Good enough." There were a lot of big words and Nidget is more than little bit of a simpleton, now I had no issue following it. A direct threat from a man I've seen kill the unkillable, not something I'd take lightly.
"So who's the idiot in the suit?"
"I'LL SHOW YOU WHO I AM" I could hear the voice of the not so well dressed guy and then we were surrounded by what appeared to be the worst chain gang in the world (literally they were dressed in chains) . I knew it was too easy getting away. Hanlon for his part seemed completely unsurprised, and he wasn't. Such is the world I live in, everyone is ahead of the game and I'm just wondering if I am indeed playing a game.
"You had a map Nidget?" He withdrew a leather map from his coat pocket, it appeared quite soaked from the swamp journey we had been involved in.
"It was poorly marked." I snatched it from his hands and could see it was extremely clear and Nidget is a gods damned idiot.
"In my defense I had a head injury." Hanlon shook his head and breathed out. I swear everytime I think Hanlon isn't human, he does something that makes him seem very human. Well aside from showing up completely out of the blue without a horse or way of traveling.
"At least you escaped."
"I told you I'd get him out Hanlon, I always honor my word." Nidget of course was lying.
"No you don't Mr. Pavorossi you only did this out of fear, do not mistake my kindness to you as weakness or you will find that said kindness can mask maliciousness understand?" His tone had changed from his normal put upon way of speaking to very harsh. I was kind of frightened of the change.
"Sort of?"
"Good enough." There were a lot of big words and Nidget is more than little bit of a simpleton, now I had no issue following it. A direct threat from a man I've seen kill the unkillable, not something I'd take lightly.
"So who's the idiot in the suit?"
"I'LL SHOW YOU WHO I AM" I could hear the voice of the not so well dressed guy and then we were surrounded by what appeared to be the worst chain gang in the world (literally they were dressed in chains) . I knew it was too easy getting away. Hanlon for his part seemed completely unsurprised, and he wasn't. Such is the world I live in, everyone is ahead of the game and I'm just wondering if I am indeed playing a game.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Nidget World's Worst Navigator
"Hmm I think we may be lost." Nidget and I post escaping my tower imprisonment had immeadiately gotten lost in a forest. Because Nidget is an idiot you see and I had no idea where he was trying to go (the blow to my head earlier also affected my ability to figure things out, it was readily becoming a source of worry for me).
"I could not tell Nidget, I mean its not like we've been wandering around the same area for hours or so it feels like."
"Trezlan when I want your opinion I'll give it to you." Nidget definately seemed more forceful, which lent support to my he wasn't Nidget theory. Or that I was really still locked up theory, or this is all a trap Nidget was paid to set up therory (I had a lot of theories).
"Look I'm a master tracker Nidget, just tell me what I'm tracking and I can find it." Gross overestimation of what I can do... CHECK! Nidget did not seek my advice, instead he just decided to start walking in one direction and hope it was the right one (considering we had been going in a circle for a couple hours this was at least a better plan than what he had before). I was getting worried no one was coming after us. I mean sure Nidget killed the guards coming in, but shouldn't more guards have shown up to check on the dead ones? Shouldn't not so well pressed been a little upset he lost not just me, but Nidget? This didn't bode well for it not being a trap.
We pushed out of the forest of being lost straight into the swamp of being really really cold and damp. Honestly I'm terrible with geography, but I think I could have avoided the swamp. We didn't, and I had to at several points lift Nidget out of amud that was increasingly getting up to his waist (why did I help him? Because he freed me, otherwise I would have just laughed and left him there as punishment). We got out of the swamp tired, cold, and angry (well I was angry Nidget was just Nidget).
Deciding I'd rather not freeze to death I made us a small fire and we set up camp for the night. It was probably not a great idea considering we were technically on the run, but again past a certain point you have to worry about survival now to worry about survival later. And the fire totally worked, in that it caused more problems than we currently had, so it totally made me forget I was completely freezing, cold, and muddy!
"I could not tell Nidget, I mean its not like we've been wandering around the same area for hours or so it feels like."
"Trezlan when I want your opinion I'll give it to you." Nidget definately seemed more forceful, which lent support to my he wasn't Nidget theory. Or that I was really still locked up theory, or this is all a trap Nidget was paid to set up therory (I had a lot of theories).
"Look I'm a master tracker Nidget, just tell me what I'm tracking and I can find it." Gross overestimation of what I can do... CHECK! Nidget did not seek my advice, instead he just decided to start walking in one direction and hope it was the right one (considering we had been going in a circle for a couple hours this was at least a better plan than what he had before). I was getting worried no one was coming after us. I mean sure Nidget killed the guards coming in, but shouldn't more guards have shown up to check on the dead ones? Shouldn't not so well pressed been a little upset he lost not just me, but Nidget? This didn't bode well for it not being a trap.
We pushed out of the forest of being lost straight into the swamp of being really really cold and damp. Honestly I'm terrible with geography, but I think I could have avoided the swamp. We didn't, and I had to at several points lift Nidget out of amud that was increasingly getting up to his waist (why did I help him? Because he freed me, otherwise I would have just laughed and left him there as punishment). We got out of the swamp tired, cold, and angry (well I was angry Nidget was just Nidget).
Deciding I'd rather not freeze to death I made us a small fire and we set up camp for the night. It was probably not a great idea considering we were technically on the run, but again past a certain point you have to worry about survival now to worry about survival later. And the fire totally worked, in that it caused more problems than we currently had, so it totally made me forget I was completely freezing, cold, and muddy!
Monday, November 4, 2013
Not Nidget Maybe
"Even for you Trezlan this is pretty stupid." I could see drool having accumulated from where I'd been sleeping/unconcious on the floor. The voice was Nidgets, I couldn't see him since because of where I was laying, but his annoying nasally way of talking is hard as all get out to miss. I found my way back up to a sitting postion, he appeared to actually be Nidget, which seemed quite the feet for shape shifters, as I didn't realize they could also entirely change their body size.
"Yeah you can do this trick once you ingrate, but a second time is just ridiculous, especially since Nidget is still locked up himself." He was I thought still imprisoned on the strength of me telling the not so well pressed suit to keep him there.
"Right of course its not like I pick locks for a living Trezlan."
"Shape shifter begone I do not want to have another fake conversation with you." Nidget got a cross look on his face, a mixture between anger and confusion. He walked over to me and I shied away from him but couldn't make it very far due to the shackles. Which he promptly unlocked for me and I was so nice to him I grabbed his Not Nidget ass off the ground like a child who had wronged me.
"Now we'll see if you snake bastards react to fire." Fire was creeping up my hand as an extension of my anger. Not Nidget popped one of those hiden blade things he likes and stabbed me in just below my wrist causing me to drop him, he punched me in the groin as well because I guess he was angry about me threatening to burn him alive.
"You ass, I am Nidget, not some kind of snake person or whatever moronitude your going on about. Don't make me feel stupid for coming back to rescue you."
"Too late." I coughed out, my balls really really hurt.
"You're right, but for some reason I feel bad when you're about to get something you probably don't deserve." It kind of made sense in a my balls hurt really badly and I'm tired of being locked up sort of way. In the back of my mind I was worried that this was an elaborate set up, and I was right to be worried, sort of. We'll get into that next entry.
"Yeah you can do this trick once you ingrate, but a second time is just ridiculous, especially since Nidget is still locked up himself." He was I thought still imprisoned on the strength of me telling the not so well pressed suit to keep him there.
"Right of course its not like I pick locks for a living Trezlan."
"Shape shifter begone I do not want to have another fake conversation with you." Nidget got a cross look on his face, a mixture between anger and confusion. He walked over to me and I shied away from him but couldn't make it very far due to the shackles. Which he promptly unlocked for me and I was so nice to him I grabbed his Not Nidget ass off the ground like a child who had wronged me.
"Now we'll see if you snake bastards react to fire." Fire was creeping up my hand as an extension of my anger. Not Nidget popped one of those hiden blade things he likes and stabbed me in just below my wrist causing me to drop him, he punched me in the groin as well because I guess he was angry about me threatening to burn him alive.
"You ass, I am Nidget, not some kind of snake person or whatever moronitude your going on about. Don't make me feel stupid for coming back to rescue you."
"Too late." I coughed out, my balls really really hurt.
"You're right, but for some reason I feel bad when you're about to get something you probably don't deserve." It kind of made sense in a my balls hurt really badly and I'm tired of being locked up sort of way. In the back of my mind I was worried that this was an elaborate set up, and I was right to be worried, sort of. We'll get into that next entry.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Wait A Minute
"And so I'll get out of this like I did that don't worry so much." I was finishing telling a tale of grand intrigue to myself when the not so firmly pressed suit man showed up, three guards were in tow, but me being shackled and insane probably didn't need the extra guys.
"Trezlan I'm glad to see you're as crazy as advertised." I've always felt I don't have my best foot forward in the world, this apparently is not lost on people who would lock me up in cellars. He then turned to the me I felt was me but probably should have known was not me.
"Wait you can see my own crazy?" Have to admit this was a moment where I thought I'd fully gone and lost it. Like in this brief moment I was wondering if everything up to this point was some kind fever dream while I was dying somewhere else. And then the not me rippled and became someone else, so not madness a shape shifter.
"He knows nothing." His voice was reptilian most of them are (anyone who can "shed" skin is most likely a reptile, or someone very magically talented, since this person relied on his actual skin to do the changing, reptile it was).
"Can he at least contact Hanlon?"
"No Hanlon apparently realized what a failure he is and gets in touch with him."
"Hey screw you me that isn't me." The not so pressed suit got very angry when I interrupted this ended with a strike that should have just stung my cheek but sent me slamming into the wall behind me. I also saw his not so pressed suit ripple a bit, so the shape shifter was not alone in being something he didn't appear to be.
"YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO NECROMANCER!" His voice boomed, it even made his guards flinch. I thankfully got to pass out the blow was too much, well that and the realization I wasn't talking to myself. Look you feel relieved when you haven't reached certain levels of insanity and this was one of those times.
"Trezlan I'm glad to see you're as crazy as advertised." I've always felt I don't have my best foot forward in the world, this apparently is not lost on people who would lock me up in cellars. He then turned to the me I felt was me but probably should have known was not me.
"Wait you can see my own crazy?" Have to admit this was a moment where I thought I'd fully gone and lost it. Like in this brief moment I was wondering if everything up to this point was some kind fever dream while I was dying somewhere else. And then the not me rippled and became someone else, so not madness a shape shifter.
"He knows nothing." His voice was reptilian most of them are (anyone who can "shed" skin is most likely a reptile, or someone very magically talented, since this person relied on his actual skin to do the changing, reptile it was).
"Can he at least contact Hanlon?"
"No Hanlon apparently realized what a failure he is and gets in touch with him."
"Hey screw you me that isn't me." The not so pressed suit got very angry when I interrupted this ended with a strike that should have just stung my cheek but sent me slamming into the wall behind me. I also saw his not so pressed suit ripple a bit, so the shape shifter was not alone in being something he didn't appear to be.
"YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO NECROMANCER!" His voice boomed, it even made his guards flinch. I thankfully got to pass out the blow was too much, well that and the realization I wasn't talking to myself. Look you feel relieved when you haven't reached certain levels of insanity and this was one of those times.
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