"I think we'll be safe here." It was a bombed out building, I don't know what had hit it to make it bombed out, but it looked to have been done a long time before. Braidin was uneasy, but my two rescuers were in good spirits, they even shared a drink to their own success. I was uncomfortable, the dead mens clothing I had stolen was itchy and ill fitting.
"Can we please find some clothes for me these are horrible." They were also ugly, like guards in that palace had no sense of style. Vontresa for her part smiled.
"Aren't you a tailor Mr. Lorentino? Can't you just make some new clothes?" Her tone was joking, which again was odd, because while I didn't know a lot about her, she definitely had the look of a follower of Fire, and they weren't big jokers in my day.
"Oh I'm sure Vontresa he could just magic some clothes out of thin air if magic were still around." Timov was putting some weapons and ammo aside, apparently he didn't think the building would be that safe.
"Not how magic actually works Mr. Timov." I said and he smirked as well. Braidin just sat in the corner stewing.
"You'll have to forgive Timov Trezlan he doesn't understand magic like you and I do." This was also shocking that Vontresa would admit to having magic, generally again magic was frowned upon for warriors in the followers.
"I'm so confused on so many things I need to sit down." The whole thing was confusing, how did they find me? Why did they come to help? Where is Hanlon? What the in the fires was his plan? What was I going to do now?
"Trezlan we were here to get you out because Hanlon is an asshole." Vontresa smiled was a very warm person, like even though I'd seen her murder several people already she was very nice, for a murderer. "You kept expecting a plan from him, or some kind of set up here, but he didn't have one, the only reason you're still breathing is because The Fire God owed you, and sent us to make sure you made it out alive." That made so much sense, I mean sort of. I had of course done a lot of dirty work for the fire god over the years, it was weird to actually get pay back.
"But what about Braidin how does he tie into this?" Braidin shifted uncomfortably again, I noticed Timov was keeping an eye on him.
"The traitor over there? Oh he was part of Oshujon's set up to capture you and then get you to trust him so you'd reveal where all your knowledge of necromancy was kept." At that Braidin attacked and I got knocked out. What? Look I'd been in torture getting water thrown on me for days, I wasn't ready for a big battle! Sue me!
Monday, March 31, 2014
Friday, March 28, 2014
Vontresa of The Saving Your Ass Tresa's
"Put on some clothes your naked body is distracting." My rescuer was dressed in a heavy red cloak and wering what appeared to be thick body armor underneath. She was a large woman, bigger than Marian who was one of the biggest women I'd ever seen. Seriously it looked like she worked out by lifting livestock not even joking. She also tended to favor a shotgun like Marian did, though hers was a pump action one and not the double barrel of Marian's day. She had dispatched the guards with a bomb and the shotgun without seemingly getting hurt herself. The weird thing about her, despite her size her voice was very upper class, like could have been a countess and not some weird warrior.
"I apologize if I had known I'd need to be rescued I would have better dressed for the occasion." People are always such assholes when you are in a desperate situation and not in the best state of dress, mental state, etc etc. I mean its not like I wanted to be naked, it just happened! I found some clothes that weren't too mangled from the dead and my rescuer motioned it was time to leave.
"Vontresa by the way."
"Do you have a last name?" I wanted to ask for references but figured that was pushing it.
"Yes I do, not that it matters, I'm here to get your ass out of here."
"We have to save Braidin too." I wasn't going to leave a man behind. I saw something flash in her eyes briefly that I wasn't too happy about.
"Right of course we do come with me." There were other explosions going off, so I had to wonder if Vontresa was alone (she wasn't) and I had to wonder how she even got here (I mean I had to travel in the belly of a merchant ship that smelled like bad fish, yet she comes in with a shotgun and armor and had no issue? Bullshit!). Guards were apparently all tied up with Vontresa's partner and so we had the run of the palace pretty easily (why didn't we kill Oshujon you ask? He had left prior to Vontresa's arrival, apparently tipped off to the attack, probably by whatever method she had used to arrive). We ran across Braidin all by himself in what appeared to be a fairly nice room, which seemed odd. His clothing wasn't marred or damaged, and he didn't look like he'd fought there, he instead had been waiting there (I figured at the time Oshujon didn't understand how torture worked, I was wrong).
We didn't have time to have much of a discussion, a fire had broken out in the palace and Vontresa moved us out of there fast to an awaiting all terrain vehicle driven by her partner in a crime an equally as large person named Timov who greeted me with a warm smile. Braidin was not happy though, I thought perhaps because he was sad at the state of things, but as I said earlier I was wrong, and I was about to find out how wrong I was.
Also I won my court case! All it took was holding a literal fire underneath the worms nut sack and he quickly saw things my way. Not exactly "legal" but he stole my image to sell something I disagreed with, he's lucky that was all I did to him!
"I apologize if I had known I'd need to be rescued I would have better dressed for the occasion." People are always such assholes when you are in a desperate situation and not in the best state of dress, mental state, etc etc. I mean its not like I wanted to be naked, it just happened! I found some clothes that weren't too mangled from the dead and my rescuer motioned it was time to leave.
"Vontresa by the way."
"Do you have a last name?" I wanted to ask for references but figured that was pushing it.
"Yes I do, not that it matters, I'm here to get your ass out of here."
"We have to save Braidin too." I wasn't going to leave a man behind. I saw something flash in her eyes briefly that I wasn't too happy about.
"Right of course we do come with me." There were other explosions going off, so I had to wonder if Vontresa was alone (she wasn't) and I had to wonder how she even got here (I mean I had to travel in the belly of a merchant ship that smelled like bad fish, yet she comes in with a shotgun and armor and had no issue? Bullshit!). Guards were apparently all tied up with Vontresa's partner and so we had the run of the palace pretty easily (why didn't we kill Oshujon you ask? He had left prior to Vontresa's arrival, apparently tipped off to the attack, probably by whatever method she had used to arrive). We ran across Braidin all by himself in what appeared to be a fairly nice room, which seemed odd. His clothing wasn't marred or damaged, and he didn't look like he'd fought there, he instead had been waiting there (I figured at the time Oshujon didn't understand how torture worked, I was wrong).
We didn't have time to have much of a discussion, a fire had broken out in the palace and Vontresa moved us out of there fast to an awaiting all terrain vehicle driven by her partner in a crime an equally as large person named Timov who greeted me with a warm smile. Braidin was not happy though, I thought perhaps because he was sad at the state of things, but as I said earlier I was wrong, and I was about to find out how wrong I was.
Also I won my court case! All it took was holding a literal fire underneath the worms nut sack and he quickly saw things my way. Not exactly "legal" but he stole my image to sell something I disagreed with, he's lucky that was all I did to him!
Thursday, March 27, 2014
The Good Kind of Explosions
Ordinarily I'm explosive adverse. Don't take that to mean I don't enjoy a good one every now and then, but most of the time when they are going off its never a good thing. I mean death and destruction do not discriminate, so much like any of my magic you can never truly be safe when an explosion goes off. The first one to hit Oshujon's palace I could write off as an accident (these things happen, Hanlon's factory has similar things exploding all the time, then again he makes weapons, I don't think Oshujon's palace made anything except misery). The next several ones considerably less so.
The explosions were so violent they threw me off my feet and I collided with the ground fairly roughly. Which sucked as I had just regained my footing. I was gathering myself up when a large amount of guards obviously alerted by the gun fire earlier arrived. Naked and with no rounds left in my magazine I was about to assume the position (face down hands behind my head) when the source of the explosions arrived. I say arrived, but much like her explosives, she hit like a wave of death when she got there.
And thats where I'll leave you, short entry today I'm due in court. No no I'm not about to spend time in prison, I'm suing someone for stealing my likeness for an ad campaign! For serious, I tell you modern life sucks!
The explosions were so violent they threw me off my feet and I collided with the ground fairly roughly. Which sucked as I had just regained my footing. I was gathering myself up when a large amount of guards obviously alerted by the gun fire earlier arrived. Naked and with no rounds left in my magazine I was about to assume the position (face down hands behind my head) when the source of the explosions arrived. I say arrived, but much like her explosives, she hit like a wave of death when she got there.
And thats where I'll leave you, short entry today I'm due in court. No no I'm not about to spend time in prison, I'm suing someone for stealing my likeness for an ad campaign! For serious, I tell you modern life sucks!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Be The Architect of your own Salvation
"Hey water splasher guy could you come here a moment." He was shirtless because of course he'd be shirtless, you don't want to splash someone with water while wearing a shirt, that would just be weird. He looked at me for a moment and then did as he was told, thats the benefit of talking to slaves, they tend to follow instruction well.
"What do you want?" It didn't matter what I wanted, when he responded to my request he was already dead. Oh wait spoilers.
"My wrist hurts can you loosen it up a little bit, I'll still be retrained, but I'll not be in as much pain, you don't want me dying of an infected wrist do you?" He looked at me crossly, but complied all the same, again I love slaves, well not loves slaves... you know what you get the idea moving along!
"This doesn't seem that ti..." His words were cut off as I slipped my other hand out of the binding and got him in a choke hold. The only guard in the room came running but he was of course too late.
"Take your weapon and put it on the ground, now." I was still suspended by my feet, which made this an awkward balancing act of leaning on one guy while at the same time threatening him but I always liked to try new things (not really) and this definitely was new.
"Why would I care about one slave?" Ordinarily I'd be worried about this guys casual indifference, but thanks to paying attention I knew he was lying.
"Oh please I know how close you are, now put the gun down or I will snap his neck." I cranked the slaves neck hard and he put his hands up and lowered the weapon. "Now kick it over here to your friend." He did that as well, I was thinking my luck was going good until the slave bit my hand and I let him go, which brought me awkwardly colliding with the floor (you try losing your balance in this situation it leaves you all kinds of messed up). Thank the gods the rifle was at my feet because the slave and the guard were about to run to get other people. I do have to say it was some of my best marksmanship ever to go from colliding with the ground to shooting two people dead, but what can I say I'm amazing! I was of course still tied by my feet and let me just tell you I don't have a ton of flexibility, so untying them seemed difficult. I did have the rifle and impeccable aim so about ten shots later (being honest here!) I was free!
I would ordinarily have been a bit worried all the gunfire would have alerted someone. And I was, up until an explosion shook the palace. Than I was utterly terrified! But things worked out they normally do with me right... Except for that whole fifty year bit in prison, that didn't work out at all!
"What do you want?" It didn't matter what I wanted, when he responded to my request he was already dead. Oh wait spoilers.
"My wrist hurts can you loosen it up a little bit, I'll still be retrained, but I'll not be in as much pain, you don't want me dying of an infected wrist do you?" He looked at me crossly, but complied all the same, again I love slaves, well not loves slaves... you know what you get the idea moving along!
"This doesn't seem that ti..." His words were cut off as I slipped my other hand out of the binding and got him in a choke hold. The only guard in the room came running but he was of course too late.
"Take your weapon and put it on the ground, now." I was still suspended by my feet, which made this an awkward balancing act of leaning on one guy while at the same time threatening him but I always liked to try new things (not really) and this definitely was new.
"Why would I care about one slave?" Ordinarily I'd be worried about this guys casual indifference, but thanks to paying attention I knew he was lying.
"Oh please I know how close you are, now put the gun down or I will snap his neck." I cranked the slaves neck hard and he put his hands up and lowered the weapon. "Now kick it over here to your friend." He did that as well, I was thinking my luck was going good until the slave bit my hand and I let him go, which brought me awkwardly colliding with the floor (you try losing your balance in this situation it leaves you all kinds of messed up). Thank the gods the rifle was at my feet because the slave and the guard were about to run to get other people. I do have to say it was some of my best marksmanship ever to go from colliding with the ground to shooting two people dead, but what can I say I'm amazing! I was of course still tied by my feet and let me just tell you I don't have a ton of flexibility, so untying them seemed difficult. I did have the rifle and impeccable aim so about ten shots later (being honest here!) I was free!
I would ordinarily have been a bit worried all the gunfire would have alerted someone. And I was, up until an explosion shook the palace. Than I was utterly terrified! But things worked out they normally do with me right... Except for that whole fifty year bit in prison, that didn't work out at all!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Failure to Pull The Trigger
"You can't do it can you?" I admit taunting a man with a loaded pistol pointed at my head probably not the smartest move ever. Oshujon had the barrel of his weapon not an inch away from my forehead when he failed to kill me. He looked at me intensely, even with hatred, but he couldn't shoot. Something just wasn't letting him.
"I could kill you if I wanted to, so easily." His voice was ragged. Nothing was actually preventing him from killing me, no magic, no rune, nothing. I think it was his honor, for every other murder he could highlight something that enabled the killing, for me there was nothing. I hadn't done anything wrong to him, or his country, I just refused to help him, that's not a death sentence anywhere.
"But you can't, because its wrong." He pistol whipped me instead, and then ordered his guards to drag me away. I have to say the whipping hurt, but I at least knew Oshujon for all his changes couldn't bring himself to kill me. Which didn't mean he couldn't make things unpleasant. I was stripped naked and strung up (arms and legs). It was extremely uncomfortable, and not the least because my penis was flapping in the breeze (look I have simple needs, underwear is one of them). I wasn't tortured other than the stringing up. They would occasionally come by and throw water on me. It was odd. Like in my shameful past of torture against me this one has been the most weird.
Occaisionally Oshujon would show up to talk. Mostly he just monologued at me, long boring speeches about doing the right thing. Honestly that was the torture, gods damned does that man love to talk and never ever shut up. This went on for a week AN ENTIRE WEEK! I swear its not the longest time I've had to deal with something unpleasant, but this was definitely in the top 10 of most annoying! Eventually something changed, because of course it did that's my life, things suck and then they dont!
"I could kill you if I wanted to, so easily." His voice was ragged. Nothing was actually preventing him from killing me, no magic, no rune, nothing. I think it was his honor, for every other murder he could highlight something that enabled the killing, for me there was nothing. I hadn't done anything wrong to him, or his country, I just refused to help him, that's not a death sentence anywhere.
"But you can't, because its wrong." He pistol whipped me instead, and then ordered his guards to drag me away. I have to say the whipping hurt, but I at least knew Oshujon for all his changes couldn't bring himself to kill me. Which didn't mean he couldn't make things unpleasant. I was stripped naked and strung up (arms and legs). It was extremely uncomfortable, and not the least because my penis was flapping in the breeze (look I have simple needs, underwear is one of them). I wasn't tortured other than the stringing up. They would occasionally come by and throw water on me. It was odd. Like in my shameful past of torture against me this one has been the most weird.
Occaisionally Oshujon would show up to talk. Mostly he just monologued at me, long boring speeches about doing the right thing. Honestly that was the torture, gods damned does that man love to talk and never ever shut up. This went on for a week AN ENTIRE WEEK! I swear its not the longest time I've had to deal with something unpleasant, but this was definitely in the top 10 of most annoying! Eventually something changed, because of course it did that's my life, things suck and then they dont!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Old Friends New Enemies
I was placed in an opulent room full or riches. Braidin I assumed had been tossed into a dungeon to suffer. I was in a comfy chair, I had on a pair of shackles (I guess not everyone trusts magic is completely gone) but other than that things were ok for me. A nice upgrade. The room itself was gorgeous, artwork in a variety of jewels and precious metals, clearly things had worked out better for Oshujon since I last saw him. He took a bit to arrive because apparently when you're in charge making people wait is all the rage (every time I've had to talk to someone with power they always make me wait, because they are aholes).
"My good friend!" His voice was different now, no long as gruff and down, now it was higher, he had done something to fix it, or perhaps killing his gods had corrected it as a side effect.
"I'd get up Oshujon, but I believe your guards don't want me to."
"No they really don't. My advisers tell me I should kill you, that you're far too dangerous in this situation. I mean you sunk my battleship at quite a cost to my war efforts Trezlan." His clothing too matched his voice, very rich and luxurious.
"That was Hanlon I had nothing to do with it." He smiled and pour himself a drink. He didn't offer me one.
"Right, and I'm sure you just happening to be here is just because you wanted to see an old friend." I shifted uncomfortably, I was starting to think Hanlon's plan here was not very good, like I was at the mercy of Oshujon and had no counter, not without my magic.
"Well I heard you came into money, and seeing as how that was thanks to me figured you'd help a freshly released prisoner land on his feet." He clapped his hands and laughed.
"Of course Trezlan, you aren't here to kill me, you're here to get a piece of my pie, not like you traveled on Hanlon's dollar and wound up with his operative from my organization. No, you want my money." He set the drink down and picked up a pistol that was laying on his desk, it looked ornamental with all the gold and jewels, but I was sure it would fire, "Do you take me for an idiot Trezlan?" Tone shift and he was pointing my pistol at me.
"Well you killed your gods and rid yourself of magic, so yes?" I could see in this eyes a look of hurt.
"I FREED MY PEOPLE!" This was a full on rant so I'll skip most of it, basic gist he did what he did because he's a big child who only see what he wants and not what benefits others. In a way it was a rant I would have made if I was a meglomaniacal asshole who wanted to rule the world. "And so you see you're going to help me kill your gods so the world can be free."
"And under your rule."
"And under my wing, I will usher this world into the next evolution of things or I will die trying, and you will either help me," He pointed the pistol at my head and cocked the hammer back, "Or you will die." At this point I knew Hanlon didn't have a damn plan at all.
"My good friend!" His voice was different now, no long as gruff and down, now it was higher, he had done something to fix it, or perhaps killing his gods had corrected it as a side effect.
"I'd get up Oshujon, but I believe your guards don't want me to."
"No they really don't. My advisers tell me I should kill you, that you're far too dangerous in this situation. I mean you sunk my battleship at quite a cost to my war efforts Trezlan." His clothing too matched his voice, very rich and luxurious.
"That was Hanlon I had nothing to do with it." He smiled and pour himself a drink. He didn't offer me one.
"Right, and I'm sure you just happening to be here is just because you wanted to see an old friend." I shifted uncomfortably, I was starting to think Hanlon's plan here was not very good, like I was at the mercy of Oshujon and had no counter, not without my magic.
"Well I heard you came into money, and seeing as how that was thanks to me figured you'd help a freshly released prisoner land on his feet." He clapped his hands and laughed.
"Of course Trezlan, you aren't here to kill me, you're here to get a piece of my pie, not like you traveled on Hanlon's dollar and wound up with his operative from my organization. No, you want my money." He set the drink down and picked up a pistol that was laying on his desk, it looked ornamental with all the gold and jewels, but I was sure it would fire, "Do you take me for an idiot Trezlan?" Tone shift and he was pointing my pistol at me.
"Well you killed your gods and rid yourself of magic, so yes?" I could see in this eyes a look of hurt.
"I FREED MY PEOPLE!" This was a full on rant so I'll skip most of it, basic gist he did what he did because he's a big child who only see what he wants and not what benefits others. In a way it was a rant I would have made if I was a meglomaniacal asshole who wanted to rule the world. "And so you see you're going to help me kill your gods so the world can be free."
"And under your rule."
"And under my wing, I will usher this world into the next evolution of things or I will die trying, and you will either help me," He pointed the pistol at my head and cocked the hammer back, "Or you will die." At this point I knew Hanlon didn't have a damn plan at all.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Braidin Life Partner
"So magic can't be used here." We were in the back of another truck, I swear I spend more times trapped in trucks in the future than I ever spent in wagons. Such is my new awful life.
"Yes its almost like someone told someone else a story about how gods were dead and magic was gone in this area, almost like that person told you that on purpose." Braidin was displeased with how things turned out, I mean I think he was, you never know.
"Necromancy worked at the time."
"Yeah I'm guessing you probably had something left over from your lands, used it up for that little display of power and now you're dry." I frowned.
"So you mean I'm like one of you normals? This is insulting."
"You get used to it, I mean its not nearly as bad as dealing with you." I frowned again.
"Both of you shut up." The soldiers sent to get us were as angry and stupid as the previous ones I'd dealt with. It was enough to suspect being a dick is prerequisite for working for Oshujon. Rudeness aside the ride to Oshujon's was nice and bumpy, apparently modern movement hadn't corrected that whole road issue that plagued horse carriages before them. When we finally go there I began to wonder exactly what was Hanlon's plan, and it turns out I had a good damned reason to be worried!
"Yes its almost like someone told someone else a story about how gods were dead and magic was gone in this area, almost like that person told you that on purpose." Braidin was displeased with how things turned out, I mean I think he was, you never know.
"Necromancy worked at the time."
"Yeah I'm guessing you probably had something left over from your lands, used it up for that little display of power and now you're dry." I frowned.
"So you mean I'm like one of you normals? This is insulting."
"You get used to it, I mean its not nearly as bad as dealing with you." I frowned again.
"Both of you shut up." The soldiers sent to get us were as angry and stupid as the previous ones I'd dealt with. It was enough to suspect being a dick is prerequisite for working for Oshujon. Rudeness aside the ride to Oshujon's was nice and bumpy, apparently modern movement hadn't corrected that whole road issue that plagued horse carriages before them. When we finally go there I began to wonder exactly what was Hanlon's plan, and it turns out I had a good damned reason to be worried!
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