The Terrifying Sounds of Silence

It seems that the mercs in the company didn't have time for me. After the leader had his chat with me I was basically left alone with my burnt arm and time. No one even talked to me! Just left me food and didn't hang around. It was almost like they knew who I was without knowing who I am (I didn't bring my ID since I was rushed off with the posse and I frequently forget the stupid thing anyway). I was wondering if this was going to be the new normal for a bit when I heard screams coming from the camp. A lot of screams.

I couldn't exactly make out what was going on, but I could hear shooting, and people dying (well what I assumed dying there were screams that usually only come with death) it moved through the camp whatever it was at will. I figured it had to be one, because the shooting tracked it for the most part, but was failing to kill it the entire time, eventually I was seemingly all alone. Which sucked because I was also locked up and only had what little food I'd eaten. I was wondering what I could feasibly do with my hands locked up to free myself when I noticed I was suddenly not alone in the cell anymore.

"Hi" The boy was covered in blood, holding two knives and he was corrupted to the point where his veins were a dark ugly black. To say I was terrified is an undestatement, and that's where I'll leave you, all alone in that cell with a horrific murderer and a boy, wait strike that reverse it.

Mercenary Ambition

As someone who has stalked and killed just about every form of man walking this earth at points in my illustrious charmed life; I do have to say modern mercenaries are dicks. Like so much dicks. In the past random groups of jerks would at least wander off from each others sight lines, allowing an industrious murderer to pick a couple off and lower the odds. Not so with this group! They all kept in line of sight with each other, with covering fire and and good field of fire vision. Sneaking up on them was pretty much impossible. Which made my job even harder, especially since in my attempt to scout them I got caught by them pretty much immeadiately. Yes sadly I was once again captured by my enemies because I'm a bumbling idiot. I admit these things, which makes when they happen perfectly fine! That's what I tell every woman I've ever been with and I'm ultimately disappointing as a lover too.

Of course this group had shackles (they were working with a magic user so naturally they'd have a way to combat him) and upon me eating a rifle butt to the face they locked them on me. Which with my burnt arm hurt like you would not believe! They even had thought ahead to set up their camp with prison cells, which spoke to two things. A. They intended on being their long term. B. That posse I was with had no clue what they were walking into.

"A sword, that's a strange thing to bring with you." The man who I assumed was in charge had my sword out and was marveling at it. He was wearing a non descript uniform made of greens and browns, there were two other guards in the room, both whom had anti magical devices themselves.

"I like to go old school."

"Does your arm hurt? It looks positively terrible." The flesh was oozing more now, the reddish burnt skin had hardened and broken, the pain was getting bad enough to make my eyes water, especially with the shackles on.

"Nah it normally looks like this, so are you going to let me go?"

"Sure you were trying to sneak in here, you were part of a posse to come kidnap our boss, we're just going to let you go so you can alert the rest of the government to our position."

"Sounds good you can unlock the shackles and I'll be on my way." He left of course, not exactly willing to do as he sarcastically implied he would. Like a jerk! So I was their guest for a few more hours, I swear they should have just let me go, because I as always got free and things went to shit not too much later!

Maybe You Should Have Asked

The farmers wife was nursing her hand, I had shot it after she had told me to "Git" so now I'd shot both idiots in their appendages. Have I told you how much I hate people recently? Because I hate people, even when I'm getting money or assistance from anyone, in the background I'm reminded why I can't stand them. The two morons were disarmed sitting at their kitchen table in their small house, I was rummaging through things looking for something to deal with my burns.

"You idiots have some kind of butter or cream or anything?" They both looked at each other aghast I would ask them anything.

"Why should we help the man who shot us?" I really wanted to tell them because if they didn't I'd just drain their life and fix my wounds that way, but you know trying to be a good person here. Ok marginally good, ok not even moderately good but cold blooded murder is worse than just shooting people because you don't like them. Most of the time.

"Because I still have my pistol." Threatening to kill people is very much better than just actually killing them. Ok like not really, but on a scale of bad its on one side more than the other! That doesn't make sense, so moving on.

"We don't have whatever you want, just like we didn't have anything when your group just came through here." My ears pricked up at when my group came through there, I'm guessing they meant the people who blew me up, because the posse certainly didn't come through here.

"And where did the rest of my men go anyway." He was going to stay close lipped but when I cocked the hammer on my pistol suddenly he shared the information. Sadly he was right they didn't have any cream or butter or anything (seriously farmers what do you farm? dirt? garbage? NOTHING?). Seeing as they could not aid me any further I left them there and stole their truck (look I'm terrible ok, but they were both hurt its not like they were going to use the vehicle!) Of course this lead to the hilarious moment of me having to struggle to drive the damn thing since I've never really learned since being back (my adventures don't leave a lot of time to figure out this crap, I only recently figured out modern plumbing, don't ask what I was doing prior to this revelation).

Eventually I managed to catch up to the mercenaries, which was great. You know aside from all the weapons and men to use those weapons...

Burnt

Being set on fire sucks, like if I had more self reflection I'd probably stop setting people on fire. But since I don't like to think of anything beyond the immediate issue I have no issue continuing my record of burning my way through life (look when all you have is fire and necromancy everything looks like uhh stuff that burns or something you can take the life of... kind of lost that joke there). All of this to say when I pulled myself out of the ditch I was very hurt, the burns on my body were all over my right arm, the flesh was cracked and sensitive to touch. I wasn't even that badly burned but man alive did that shit hurt like no other.

I was actually surprised no one came along the road we were traveling, but apparently we were in the middle of nowhere when we got attacked and so no one happened to be traveling the road, which made getting any kind of help really difficult. Not that there would have been a lot of people willing to help a dude walking along a road all burned up carrying a sword and pistol (I insisted I bring my sword since I'd been going without it recently and things have been going awful without it, not that it apparently helped). I eventually found a small farm with a water trough and availed myself of the dirty water to cool my burning flesh. Which helped, but because the water was dirty I was basically inviting all kinds of infections. I also ran afoul of the farmer who was none to pleased to see me on his property and greeted me with a shotgun.

"Git." Now I was not happy to be in the situation I was in, but I was also unhappy with an asshole with a shotgun trying to simply get rid of me instead of offering to help me.

"I'm sorry can you repeat that." He went to shoot in the air and I drew my pistol and blew off his foot. I'll admit this wasn't the most neighborly welcoming thing to do to someone, but he pointed a weapon at me and so he got what he had coming. Let this come as a lesson, when a wounded man with a weapon shows up at your place, be a bit more nicer to him than pointing a shotgun at him and telling him to leave.

The farmer was struggling with his wounded foot and I disarmed him and drug him back to his farm house. See I was nice gods damn it! I intended on helping him with his injury, but upon reaching the farm house his portly wife also had a shotgun pointed at my head.

"GIT!" I swear this was a family of dumb asses, and as all things go, this too got worse.

Explode Me Once

Getting blown up out of a truck is alarming. I mean one minute you are sitting there conversing with a young fellow next to you, and the next you are blown out of the bed of the truck and your ears are ringing, oh and you're on fire. Honestly getting blown up sucks in general, there are so many negative things to it, I don't recommend it. Mostly because you'll probably die and not just be thrown from the wreck like I was (this is why its best to sit in the back and not the cab of a truck, in the back you can be ejected, in the cab you can be roasted, make note next time you're traveling somewhere!)

So yeah my time with the possee was short. We were traveling on our way to I believe the last place the magic user was, when the convoy was exploded. I was thrown from the wreck into a ditch with the corpse of the man I was just chatting with. Which actually worked in my favor because his charred remains hid my still breathing remains from the mercenaries who had blown up our convoy. Well I assumed mercenaries, they could have been a rogue government group or whatever. Honestly it was probably in a file I was supposed to have read, but the authorities didn't really give me very much to work off of when I got deputized! And sure I could look back on it now, but that takes way more effort than I ever put into any journal entry!

All the same at the time the only thing I could think of was how angry I was. I mean I was burned, I was hurt (I broke my leg on impact, extremely painful) and worst of all I didn't know where I was. This was a worst case scenario and things only got worse from here. How you might ask? You know the answer is in the next entry!

I'm Not Working!

Seated behind my desk there were several men in uniform standing in front of me. They all had name tags and were all very serious people, but I couldn't take anything they were saying seriously because I didn't want to. I hadn't even been back all of a few moments before I was already being petitioned for another job. I swear the universe hates me, when I need work no work is to be found, when I don't need it all kinds of work just shows up and demands to be worked. I swear the more things change the more they stay the same.

"... And so your expertise will become instrumental in the apprehension of this fugitive." The leader of this group of police was still speaking, I just cut to the chase here as much like I wrote here I was only half paying attention.

"There are real organizations that can handle people like this, I'm terrible with other magic users." Its true I was, unless they wanted them dead, then I'm fantastic for them, but I got the impression they didn't want to outright kill the young man, and that is not my expertise.

"They told us to get you, so you're deputized and your joining the possee." I figured this was the end of the conversation and it was, which is infuriating! I swear people listen to me enough to verify I am who I say I am and then just fill in the rest as to what I'm going to do! Which is how I do things in life, but people shouldn't do that to me!

All the same this is how I ended up in the back of a pick up truck shortly before it exploded. Oh yeah, next entry etc etc.

It's Relatively Safe, Relatively

"So this is the evil gun you found?" The pistol was just on my desk, underneath it the head of the snake I'd used to transport it home (that good ole snake used for so much thanks for trying to kill me snake!) How did I get home? We were discovered by a flight and a rescue ship was launched, I actually made the paper about how two ship wrecked survivors managed to escape a wilderness. Thank gods that ship exploded or Vontresa would have been locked up (she didn't remember any of it by the way, any of it! Like not even finding the map, I figure this shit will come back eventually, but it hasn't so far). Of course Hanlon immediately found me afterward to see the pistol, which was still inanimate.

"Well I didn't find it, Vontresa did, but yes this is it."

"Excquisite." He had a light smile to his face which was as creepy as usual. When he put his hand over the pistol I swear I saw the green light again, but I was kind of tired.

"So is it evil?"

"Why would you think I would know that?"

"You know weapons and magic better than I do." He smiled again and put his hands back from the pistol.

"You flatter me Trezlan, but no its not evil, at least not that I can see, what it is is dead, or I should say inactive." I was still perplexed how just a simple fire magic brought down an evil gun.

"I'm still lost as to how that happened."

"The gods work in mysterious ways Trezlan, perhaps you're magic was the counter to the weapons evil? Or perhaps the gods took pity on a poor necromancer and decided to give you a break, I have no clue as usual, I'm just a humble weapon merchant."

"What should I do with it?"

"Lock it up somewhere safe and keep it, you never know when it might come in handy."

"Where do you keep an evil pistol of the gods?"

"In a box dear boy, in a box, a nice solid wood one." With that he left me with the evil pistol and the remains of the snake I'd kept it in. And so I took his advice and got a nice wooden box and put the pistol and snake in it (because the snake head carrying case was very bad ass) I actually have the box hidden in my desk because even though the weapon is dead I'm sure some idiot will come looking for it someday, probably. I mean you never know, maybe my proximity to it will slowly drive me insane... Nah I'm already crazy I can't be driven to be more crazy.