Worst Final Choice Ever

"Welcome Trezlan sit." The last part of the trial was just a chair with a nice older man sitting at a desk waiting for me. The room was all light almost as a counter to the darkness I came through. I took my seat in the chair expecting something awful to happen and I wasn't wrong.

"So what horrible thing are you going to do to me?

"Is that how you view this? Some kind of torment to you specifically?"

"Well it seems that way." He sighed.

"Trezlan Lorentino, this is your interview process for being a god, you had to defeat your own fears and struggles to take your place among the elevated, I must say to say you failed is an understatement." I will say no matter how nice the old man was trying to be I was more than fed up with this whole thing.

"I failed? I FAILED? YOU ALL FAILED THIS ENTIRE THING IS A FAILURE! I'm done, this is it I'm over, let me out of your stupid game you damned gods. I don't want to be a member of your dumb order, I'd rather be a regular moron than stuck in this forever stupid thing!" The old man looked at me in astonishment and suddenly he was the huge spider from before.

"Then I guess you become lunch!" I went to shield myself from its attack and woke up to Hanlon slapping me in the face. It was to say the least shocking.

"Well I'm glad you are back with us Trezlan you have been asleep for like a day." I looked around and I was at Valrym's bar, I had been propped on a table, there was a collection plate nearby for "Trezlan's funeral expenses." I figured that was Valrym's vote of confidence.  So was it all a dream? What happened? Well... Yes its in the next entry. Yep I'm a jerk.

Darkness Is like Ignorance

Wandering through the darkness I couldn't help but feel this was a metaphor for how I lead my life. Stumbling around hoping to find a way to some nebulous goal all the while feeling like something I couldn't exactly see but merely felt was stalking me. I didn't even know if I was walking in the right direction, as it felt like I'd been walking for days and not gone anywhere. I couldn't see the ground but it felt just like ground. I didn't bump my head on the ceiling so I could assume it wasn't too low (I did jump just to be sure, which would have been a hilarious injury). At least whatever was hunting me took its sweet gods damned time before it announced it's presence, really let me think I was doomed without actually feeling I was.

"Look at you walking in the dark like a fool." Of course when it did announce its presence it was a real dick about it.

"You're down here to, so wouldn't that make you a fool as well?" The voice didn't answer for a bit and I picked up my pace, not that it helped, nor was I sure I was traveling in the right direction (or traveling at all, such is the issue with darkness).

"The difference between us is that I can see down here, you are just stumbling around blindly."

"Oh you're still here? I thought you left."

"I could say the same to you, what are you doing here? You're not a god, you're barely a man."

"I got lost after I left prison and I'm stuck here, I care little about being a god." Only part of this statement was true. Ok I wasn't lost, so really only the last part was true. The creature in the dark laughed.

"I doubt you were lost, but you are now, you are lost down here with me, perhaps if you were nicer I'd show you the way out of here."

"Maybe I like being down here."

"Well it is a nice darkness, mostly anyway, but you'll run out of food and water an die, and I'm sure you don't want that." The voice almost seemed like it was trying to convince me.

"I dunno I've lived a long time and been in a few too many situations like this, perhaps its time for me to die alone in the dark." The voice laughed and then all of a sudden I could see a light.

"Get out of here Lorentino, you're whining is getting on my nerves." I tried to turn around and see what had saved me, but I could see nothing. I almost suspected it was the darkness itself talking to me. I didn't exactly stick around trying to figure this one out. I just made my way to the exit and into the next part of my test which was my final part and thank gods for that. I was starting to get hungry!

Necromantic Difficulties

In the past I have talked of using necromancy when my normal magic was trapped. Since its based on ritual and using blood or life force as a regent it generally works when other magic would not. So you would be wondering "Well your fire is trapped, but you still have necromancy." Actually no, because I didn't have any power in my blood while it was corked up, like literally I was one of you disgusting normals, unable to use magic, unable to kill anything with magic or even utilize necromancy. It was the freaking worst feeling in the world being one of you. I honestly am surprised that any of you live past a day without the joy of magical ability. It shocks me.

"YOU WILL JOIN!" Right back to the charred, sorry just had to correct something I'm sure was a question. The charred had an interesting premise of becoming one with their burned flesh which I was really sold on for sure, but I also had one more trick up my sleeve which was abject terror, mine not theirs. But then something funny happened, I noticed a face in the throne, it was one of twisted hatred. Like the person who had died had done so with a bunch of hate in his heart, and in noticing that I felt power rush up, a lot of power. Remember how I've talked before about how being on water screws with fire magic because its the opposite element? Well being surrounded by fire was the opposite of that.

"You have wronged people, and in that stained your souls with their anguish." The charred looked at me with a funny face.

"And you point is?"

"YOU WILL BURN!" The fire came from all around them and within them, I burned with impunity and without care (that was the thing about the vengeance powers I didn't have to worry about corruption it would seem, since my magic now came from someplace else the drawback was in limitation not usage, it was weird how magic operated on a give and take like that, but I'm not a huge magic scholar). With my magic uncorked I could actually control the lands of the fire and thus reduce the heat for myself to a more liveable version. I was able to find my way out after I scored the charred to ash.

Beyond the land of fire was another cave this one went down and down and down, seriously it was a huge spiral until I came upon a cavern of darkness. Just flat out darkness I couldn't even see in front of my face and of course I had no power, so no fire to light my way. At least I thought I was alone in the darkness, but I was wrong, I was completely not alone in that darkness. But that's next entry naturally.

Fire? Of course Sure

Going from extreme cold to burning fire screws with you. I mean its completely understandable, its like going from starving to being force fed more food than you could have ever wanted. You wanted to be warm, and now suddenly you are almost bathed in flame its a bit much. Like an overreaction to a previous want. The charred animated skeletons didn't help. Yeah there were animated skeletons, this did definitely support my theory that I was being messed with and this land of the discarded existed only in my head.

The charred appeared shortly after I crossed the tundra into the fire lands. Like I was just warming up and shedding my shirt (because I didn't learn anything from the coat earlier) when an army of charred showed up and tried to kill me. Animated skeletons always confuse the crap out of me, as there are so many anatomical questions that never get a satisfactory answer (no magical magic is not satisfactory!)  They didn't seem to attack me so much as lead me towards something. That something of course was a charred man sitting atop a throne of the dead (like literally a throne made out of dead people, to say it was disturbing is to put it politely).

"Another servant for the throne." His voice was hallow cackle, the skeletons arranged a wall behind me trapping me. The throne was arranged against a lava flow and the heat was getting to an unbearable level.

"What throne would that be?"

"THE THRONE OF THE FLESH!" At this pronouncement the skeletons clapped behind me, it was almost comedic.

"Sorry I don't recognize the authority of the throne of flesh, I'm kind of on a trial right now, so if you don't mind I'd like to get on with that." I moved to leave and the charred army of course stood in the way, like jerks.

"You're trial? YOU'RE TRIAL? AHAHAHAHAHAHA there is no trial, you were given to us for your flesh and now you will serve!" I didn't serve the flesh throne in case you were wondering, but I did have to do something creative. Well somewhat creative. Ok creative for me... SHUT UP I'll get to that next entry I have a head ache today, its hard being a god. No I'm not actually a god that's just more whining. GOD YOU'RE SUCH A JERK TODAY!

From Giant Spiders to Frozen Tundra

Midway through the inexplicable frozen tundra I found myself tromping through I really regretted leaving my coat behind. The wound on my head was pretty bad, though now the blood had frozen to my face thereby closing it off, so I at least had that going for me. I couldn't even explain how I went from a bone pit of moderate warmth to a snow capped landscape so cold it could freeze blood. I wasn't even walking so much as I was crawling using my previous bone weapon as a sort of crutch/claw to keep me going.

I could see other frozen people twisted in broken in the tundra, a lot of people. It was actually kind of weird. I figured if this was supposed to be a trial for a God, why were there so many bodies? Like were there really that many gods to test? Who were these people? How had they survived the spider but failed at walking through the snow? I have no idea. This was one of those situations where I started to wonder if I was actually seeing this stuff or if it was all in my head and I was actually still frozen in the library (I wasn't actually still frozen in the library).

At least there weren't any animals in the frozen tundra, or at least none that I saw when I was there. Which made sense because it was damned cold. Eventually I made it through the tundra to I kid you not a place filled with fire. This wasn't a trial it was a torture test of the elements. Unlike the tundra though, the land of fire had creatures in it, bad bad creatures. I'll get into that next entry of course.

That's It Don't Want To Be A God

The cave gave way to a pit of bones pretty early on (like not too far past the cave part). It was a pretty wide open chamber. I couldn't make out the ceiling, but it appeared all black up there, further beyond the pit was the light still shining (so in theory the ceiling could have been very low I just couldn't see it). The bones were unsettling, mostly because they were picked clean (probably by the herald for something to eat, I couldn't exactly hear or see any small animals to kill for food), but also because there were a lot of them. Like I was beginning to believe that herald that I was sent here to die by an unkind god (or gods since she apparently speaks for them all). I was wondering if this was just where the creatures of this place discarded their bones or if this was where whatever captured them ate them when I felt like something was right above me.

I didn't want to look up, because I knew doing so would lead me to madness. It was like the difference between thinking you are about to die and knowing it. So instead of looking up I just ran, because you know whatever was above me couldn't have been good and whatever was ahead of me had to be better (my logic is impenetrable don't even try!) Behind me I heard a thud and turned around to see a gigantic freaking spider. Like so big it took up almost the entire room I was fleeing from (which gave rise to so many questions about how a spider that big existed on the people sent to this place, or how it got in the room to begin with). It tried to impale me on one of its freakish legs and I dodged to the side, which unfortunately took me away from the place I was running toward and more towards a damned wall, which is what the spider wanted obviously since it pinned me in with its other leg.

"Look can't we talk this out?"

"No." I was terrified even more the creature could speak, even if it just told me no. Maybe that's the only word it knew. It was a no spider (no hope, no end to the terror, no uhh shit can't make this a three). I scrambled on the ground and the only weapon I could come up with was a broken femur of some poor bastard who came before. The no spider lunged in and I stabbed up wounding it (or just pissing it off) in its flailing it clubbed me away from the wall where I had been trapped. Which was good, though the wound it gave me obscured my sight and made it hard to see which was bad. But I was able to stumble out of the spiders room and I had my new bone weapon, so you know I wasn't completely useless! And the spider was trapped in its bone room (or so I thought at the time but now I know it wasn't... but you know things to come!).

So it was a total success for me as my first challenge of being a god. Complete victory bring on the next one!

The Land of the Discarded

I could see a huge cave in front of me, there was light from somewhere beyond it but nothing near the muck pit I scrambled out of. I could hear creatures in the dark, skittering things and also cackles but didn't see anything yet. I knew whatever was out there would try and kill me, and I also knew I was kind of screwed since I hadn't prepared for this (probably what the Fire God wanted because gods right? right.) There was some creepy hobbled guy waiting for me when I got out of the water. He only had one working eye and was a bit hunched. Clothing was all rags, body looked mal nourished, and he was missing most of his teeth. You know a real great indicator of the trial ahead.

"Welcome to the land of the discarded." His voice was actually normal, which made the rest of him look all the worse. It meant at one point he didn't look so horrible and that was terrible.

"Who are you?"

"The herald of this place, I inform the ones the god's cast down here what their fate shall be." I was still covered in the muck, it seemed to ooze all over my jacket, since I wasn't cold anymore and down here didn't feel that bad I just discarded the coat, this would end up being a bad idea.

"I wasn't cast down here, I was selected for a trial."

"Right sure you were, just like all the rest, well you're trial is ahead of you, survive it and you'll be rewarded, fail it and you'll become something for the beasts of this place to pick over."

"Aren't you a cheery sort, I'm just shocked this was under my city, is this whole damned world hollow?"

The herald looked at me with a cocked head, "Under a city? No this place is under no city, this place exists outside of time and place, you weren't put under a city you were put out of existence."

"Good talk, keep the jacket you look cold." I walked towards the light and I could hear the herald say something behind me but I didn't care enough to ask him to repeat it. I believe now in retrospect it was "Watch out for the huge man eating spiders ahead of you." Yeah that's what I'll say he said, it makes me feel better about him not telling me that.