In The Valley of the Spider Part 2

I've been blown up a lot, its actually a constant issue I've had (as technology expands and more things are discovered to blow people up, I worry because its only a matter of time before I'm a part of these things and their explosions).  Being blown up in a cave underground while a giant spider wanted to eat me though? Fairly unique in my limited experience.  The explosion tossed me from one wall of the cave to another one (rather violently I'll add), the saving grace was that upon falling from the impact I was caught in the spider webs and suspended from damaging my injured ankle more. 

I still rung my bell pretty damn hard though (I had a killer head ache and the right side of my face was coated in blood) once I got over the initial alarm of waking up in a big spider web with half my face suffering vision issues from being coated in blood, I was able to calmly assess the situation. Which meant abject panic while trying not to scream to alert the spiders I hadn't killed. My sword was laying nearby, I could see in the cave due to the explosion having ignited the large spider that had tried to attack me (it apparently burned very well I almost wonder instead of selling spider silk you could have sold parts of spider as firewood, sure it would have smelled awful, but think of the trees!).  That still left me stuck in a spider web with more spiders around (I couldn't even tell how long I'd been there, I figured a few hours based on how long the spider had been burning).  I tried to use my fire in a reasonable manor, but the injury to my head apparently overrid the care, and instead of just trying to burn the web around me I ignited the whole damn thing in a flourish, which dropped me to the ground with a thump (and sent my ankle into painurism). The fire on the web of course spread around the entire cave system (woops, I guess the explosion was localized on the spider that exploded, mine was unfortunately not).  I snatched my sword up as desicated bodies and bones started raining from above. I hobbled out of the cave as best I could, a huge foom of fire was going on behind me, the smoke choking out my vision and making seeing anything difficult.

I was actually choking on so much smoke I couldn't even make out where I was going, I started crawling immediately, but even that was too much.  My will fading I collapsed again, I tried to drag myself forward, but it was too much, too much pain, too much blood loss, too much smoke.  In the end I closed my eyes and waited for death.  And then blackness.

Obviously I didn't die of course, but when I awoke well things got a little bit more complicated.  Naturally, nothing is ever simple with me, aside from something being simply damn awful.

In the Valley of the Spider

I'm feeling better today, which is awesome for you little journal.  Though I'm going to relate a story of my journey through a huge spider nest, not so awesome.  So when I left off yesterday I had a bit of fire dying in my hand and a big spider staring me down from the darkness. If you've been reading this far you can probably figure what I did (no I didn't run off screaming, there was no where to go and I at best could hobble away anyway!) I expanded the fire in my hand and launched it at the spider (four feet tall, barely fit in the cave section I was in, damn ugly before it went up in a shower of fire and spider).  As the fire scorched the first spider I could see more behind it trapped in a narrow corridor, my luck was with me as the fire blew back and burned them dead as well (though the smell of burning spider would fill my nostrils for days, its a smell without equal of horrible).

The intial spider party dealt with I was feeling pretty good, it would be a short lived feeling, but you know how these things go. First I had to wait for the fires to die down, which unfortunately took a while (and like I said the smell lingered), I made due in the time while waiting by fashioning a crude torch to illuminate the darkness (in Duvein I'd aquired some of their remarkable lamp oil, I intended on using it as an accelerant to deal with whatever had been in the mine, but now I was using it for the more traditional illuminating things role). With one hand on my torch and one over my nose I stepped over the smouldering corpses of the spiders and into the cave beyond. 

I expected more narrow pathways, but instead was greeted by a fairly cavernous area, my fire light didn't penetrate even the full length of the passage it was so big. The stone looked fairly worn, most likely from water eroding it.  The cavern was coated in spider webs, massive things, I didn't see any spiders, but it was clear however the Loshan's had discovered the cave, the spiders had been living there a long time (well the webs and all the bones I could hear underneath my feet).  I could make out fresh coccoons amongst the webs and figured those were the harvesters (how the hell do you harvest spider silk anyway? I've never had this question answered and I've asked plenty of people!).

I was actually surprised there weren't spiders on the webs waiting for me, I was thinking maybe I had gotten lucky when I had that distinct something large is behind you feeling (you ever get those? Just me? Ok).  I spun around with a slash and hit nothing, figuring my nerves were just getting to me, I almost became spider chow.  Apparently the four feet tall monsters I'd dealt with earlier were the babies of this particular group of horrors. The beast that decended on me from above was at least 8 feet wide, long black legs slithered past my shoulders (the only indication I got that I was about to be eaten!) I rolled out of the way and straight into some spider webs (spiders 1 Trezlan 4, hey I cooked those little buggers at the entrance that counts!) the horror moved towards me. I still held my torch (thankfully this time it didn't cause some fluid to ignite and burn me to death) and swung backwards with my sword to free myself, the torch at least kept the beast back till I got free, but the creature grew brazen and came charging.

I was forced back into the webs and this time did drop my torch, it fell to the side providing partial light, but was blocked by the spiders massive body. The spider smashed me against the webs again, this time I was driven into the cave wall.  I was about to try and use magic or drive my sword into the beast, when I heard a roar and then I was thrown through the air, for a brief moment before I made another impact into a wall, I wondered "who the hell brings an explosive into a lair of spiders." And then I smashed into something and the world went black.

Hook, Line, and Spider

Have I mentioned I hate caves? I hate caves, I hate mines, I hate the deep dark places of the world.  I hate them like Morley hates me.  My hatred of caves stems from the simple fact that nothing good ever comes from them.  Valrya lived in a cave need I say more? So with this in mind I set off for the Loshan Mine (they were so inventive in naming it!) I had some basic supplies with me (food, water, lots of flammable substances) and the horse they had bought was a good chestnut type steed (what can I say I liked the color) so I made good time to the Loshan Mine (despite me kind of wanting to drag my feet, I wanted to finish this crap and move on with my life).

The mine was basically a hole in the ground with a shack on top of it (not even good enough to be built into a cliff side or something). This was enough to raise my suspicions to start, because honestly thats just crazy.  The concept of a mine is that there is mineral in rock and you are "mining" it out, but a freaking hole in the ground that wasn't even dug into rock? Well that's not really a mine now is it? I mean I knew the Loshans were going to screw me, I didn't realize how little they thought of me! The shack was built in a hasty manor, no outward sign noted it as the Loshan Mine, but the map I'd been provided told me this had to be it (look I can't draw a map, but I can read one!)

The first issue I ran across after noting it was a damn hole in the ground, was I had to navigate going down a narrow ladder on my bad ankle. Which lead to me slipping and falling and my ankle hurt something awful upon coming down (I didn't hear another break thank whatever bad luck I rely on).  The second issue I ran across was of course no light in the stupid mine, of course I should have anticipated that would be a thing (and I did sort of I had some make shift torch supplies, but after my last cave torch experience I was kind of leery about a repeat performance).  The third and final issue occured shortly after I fell down the ladder. I heard noises above me, I was going to write it off as nerves until the ladder I'd just fallen down was withdrawn up the hole.

"Hello? I'm still down here, leave the ladder you jerk!" I didn't understand why someone would do such a thing until the voice up above answered.

"Lorentino! Good to see you made it down alive, that way you'll get to suffer before you die." It was Watkins, so not only was this a trap, it was an obvious one and I'd literrally fallen right into it.

"There never was a mine was there?" I was eying the cave in front of me, I couldn't see past the hole I'd fallen down, but I thought I recognized something I didn't want to see.

"Mine? No, no this is a sort of breeding ground, we get silk from down there, or we used to until they got unruley and killed the harvesters, its a shame we lost a good breeding crop, but getting rid of you like this makes it all the sweeter." Silk, breeding crop, hole in the ground? Giant spiders.

"All this over letters? Isn't this a a bit much?" Trying to appeal to Watkins better nature was a losing battle, he didn't have one.

"She really liked reading the letters Lorentino, helped keep her ahead of her business. Burn in whatever hell they have waiting for you." I heard a panel sliding up above and then the hole was covered up.  So it wasn't enough to take the ladder, he had to trap me down there as well.  I heard the chittering in the dark, shouting up a hole had definately alerted the spiders to my presence.  As I emitted a small glow of fire in the air I saw eight hungry eyes gleaming back at me. And there I was in the dark, in a hole, full of damn spiders.

And that's where I'll leave you dear reader, in the dark with me (seems fair right?) I'd keep writing, but I've got a hell of a flu or cold or some nonesense and even writing this is playing hell with me.  Hopefully I'll be over this and tomorrows entry won't just be a bunch of mucous on the paper.

Rich People Problems

"And tell the kids I'll be coming to see them in a couple months." The lady seated across from me seemed overjoyed with the final announcement, I left off that she called the children bastards, because well it seemed unneccesary.

"Thank you Mr. Lorentino, and how are you doing?" I have to say I always like when people ask of me after I've done something for them, its nice to be acknowledged.  It had been two months of helping people out and hobbling around, but I'd become a bit of a fixture in Duvein and as I said previously, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it.

"Ankles healing fine, I think I'll be back to being able to walking unaided soon enough." I'd had a crutch constructed by one of my letter people, it was a fine crafted item of a strong dark wood I can't recall the name of.  I still have the crutch even now, I've sadly had to use it for its intended purpose more than I'd like to admit to.

"So you'll be leaving us then?" She was sad, I'd made no hidden agenda that I'm at best a transient, reading letters was fun and as a busy body very rewarding, but my life is pain and suffering and the longer I stayed some place the more dangerous it is (this of course ignores my current residence, I don't mind risking this entire town as it is full of dicks, especially the captain of the guard).

"Yes Agatha, don't worry though I'll make sure to come back from time to time so save your letters!" I put my hand on hers and smiled. I'm happy to report I kept this promise, still do to an extent even though all of the people I originally helped are long dead.  No one ever asks how I'm still alive, I think they either do a happy fantasy that I'm the child of the original Trezlan, or just ignore that I'm alive by dark magic.  Either way I always look forward to my trips to Duvein.

Agatha collected her letter and left her tribute, a delicious pie (I love pie). She was on the way out when my door opened and Watkins greeted her.  I say greeted, when he really just bumped into her, told her to "Watch where you're going you old bitch." And then kind of shoved her out of the way.  Watkins worked for the Loshans, the rich people of the area.  His manners left a lot to be desired, like manners. Agatha was for her part gracious in the face of an exceptional jerk I had to give her that.

"Mrs. Loshan wants me to bring you to him, this is not a request." Watkins lacked any kind of subtley.

"Lets not keep him waiting then, well aside from me having to hobble my way over there." I tried to be accomodating, mostly because I didn't want to have to murder Watkins, as I said I liked Duvein, it made me a bit soft even to the dicks. Thankfully for me the Loshans lived near the inn, and I'd become pretty good at hobbling around (and my ankle had heeled quite well, I was almost off the crutch at this point).  Watkins opened the door, but did not step inside.

The Loshans lived in a fairly large house, double door entry, multiple floors, all pristine craftsmanship (the wokers had been brought in from somewhere else, they did not want the local "rif raf" to ruin their home).  The entryway lead to an overly large living room full of trophy heads taken from beasts of the wild.  I knew most of the creatures from my time with Corli, and knew enough about the Loshans to know they probably hadn't killed any of them that dotted their walls. I don't know how they made their money (if you can sell smarmy self assured dickishness they would have been the rulers of the world) or why they even chose to live in Duvein.  The Loshans were run by Corla Loshan, a particurlaly nasty old bitch, she and I never got along since I took away one of her business opportunities in reading letters.  She had previously even sent Watkins to rough me up to get me to stop, but with a flash of fire it was decided that someone who lives in a wood house shouldn't piss of a pyromancer. So things were tense to say the least. The living room had a couple of couches and one throneish chair, I knew the chair was for Carla so I took my seat at the couch. And I had to wait, part of being rich is making people wait, even if they took all day to meet you, they have to wait. I used the time to wait thinking up excuses for why I could not help the Loshans.

"Trezlan it's lovely to see you, " Carla came walking down the stairs in a gaudy evening gown, her voice dripped venom in a way that you wouldn't immediately detect, but since she was talking I knew it was there. She decended the stairs and took her position on her throne.

"Carla always a pleasure." I tried to make it obvious how much it wasn't a pleasure.  Her eyes never left mine, we weren't engaged in physical combat, but this was another form of martial conduct, the dreaded conversation battle.

"You're probably wondering why I called you here."

"I'd be lying if I wasn't, also I'd be lying if I didn't say how much I don't want to do whatever you it is you want me to do." I tried to cut the bullshit, much like my combat style, I'm straight to the point.

"Straight to the point as always Trezlan, you uncouth savages dispense with pleasantries early."

"And you uptight high society assholes spend way too long beating around the bush." We were at an impasse, any civility was long gone, and so we sat in uneasy silence, which kind of defeated the point of me being blunt in the first place!

"What do you want Carla?" The silence didn't last long, I didn't like the house, with the heads on the wall I always felt she was measuring up mine to join them.

"I need you to go to a mine and find out what happened to the workers."

"Do I look like an idiot? Wait don't answer that, ignoring the fact I have a recovering ankle and I do not like you, why would I ever agree to do that?"

"Money, lots of money, find out what happened with my mine and you'll have enough money to get out of Duvein and back to wherever you really belong." 

"I like it here, might remain forever Carla." It was a lie of course, as nice as it was, I really don't like small towns.

"Oh please, you've been here a couple months, it'll grate on you, and you'll want to roam, I'm giving you that option, also if you don't help me know you aren't safe in this town, sure you know magic and are handy with a sword or so you claim, but you have to sleep sometime, and I have a lot of money Lorentino."

"Point taken Carla, fine I'll do your job, but remember this you made an enemy today and my ankle won't be injured forever." I hobbled my way out (which kind of negated my threat) and went back to my hotel room to prepare for a trip.  Watkins came by later with a map to the mine, he told me they had bought me a horse for the journey and he'd tied it up outside the inn. And so began the end of my time in Duvein, like most good things it was ruined by someone with money.

Duvein Land of Opportunity

I want to correct something I saw in my last entry.  When I said that the peace lasted a couple days, I misremembered it lasted two months (days months, honestly when you get three hundred you forget the little details all right!) Not that I'm sure the timeline for any of my travels is something anyone reading this is really concerned with (take my great geography, if you drew a map from how I talk about this land mass, well you'd have one screwed up looking map).  Still its important for me to note the actual timeline as best I can really remember it.

I spent my first couple of weeks in Duvein resting my ankle (you know the actually smart thing to do).  I even sought the local healer of the town to have it resplinted.  The old lady commented on my poor splint (thanks for that you old hag! Yeah you're long dead but my grudge remains!), she also wrapped my ribs in a cold adhesive that after a couple days made them feel actually better.  Its weird being someone who could steal life to fix my wounds, but instead just letting time and medicine do it.  I guess I don't want to be a total monster (especially after riding with Morley) so I do things like this from time to time to remind myself I am not.  Which really sucks becuase damn if I don't want all my parts working the way they are intended to work (and unfortunately traditional methods don't heal corruption).

With my foot suspended I was limited in what I could do, but I did manage to make money reading and writing letters for the locals.  I was actually fairly surprised at how many people in Duvein had letters they needed read/written (even with my horrible hand writing). Back then letter mainly moved by trade caravan (now there is a more organized mail delivery system), you usually had to give something up to make sure your letter or package actually arrived (it was on the honor system, but if you were found to be holding letters that weren't yours you could be hung I kid you not, people took correspondance personally). Most of the farmer's didn't have normal currency, so they traded me produce or other favors (I had someone chop wood for the inn keeper that paid for a week of staying in my room).

The letter writing actually satisfied another itch of mine that being gossip (I try and claim I don't care, but thats a damn lie I love gossip).  Not only did I get local gossip, I got gossip from other towns.  It was the absolute best (I'll also admit I didn't always read the full letter aloud, there were some statements that were better left unsaid, see not a total monster), honestly despite Duvein being a small town, I really enjoyed my time there.  Hell I still read and write letters for people, though its less needed now, but I do moderate business on top of my selling.

All in all I sad when events took me out of Duvein, as always it was something small, that grew into something else. One of these days I'm going to learn to let things pass and enjoy my own life despite things going on around me. Probably the same day they bury me in the ground.

Cooling my Heel

Morley arrived later looking dejected.  I never told him about my chance encounter with the real threat (look I never really get to put anything over Morley, so being able to hold something back was delicious), I had surmised when he came back all mopey that he hadn't been able to do as he wanted (so whatever evil plan he really had I had stopped almost entirely by accident).  I asked of the idol and he just handed it to, muttering something about how its useless now.  I almost felt sorry for him, almost.

I begged a ride off him to get to a town nearby. He actually was kind enough to oblige me, so off I went with my new paperweight (I still have that skull actually, I talk to it occaisionally, hasn't talked back yet, but one day I'm sure it will). He didn't stick around, said something about had business elsewhere and I didn't pry. He was nice enough to give me some coin so that I could get a room and recover (he laughed about that part since I told him I was content for a natural recovery).  Surpingly this nice gesture didn't get me killed as his normal ones do.

The town was one of those self contained farming communities, not a lot of direct outside influence, but occaisional specialities traders would show up for their local produce (they had a lovely apple for which they were very well known or so I was told REPEATEDLY!).  The town was named Duvein (prounounced Doo Vayne no I have no idea how a group of idiotic farm workers came up with such a complicated name), it had a small inn that included the towns tavern, a sheriff with a couple deputies, and even the required rich person who rules them all in his extravagant house so prevelent in small communities.

I didn't really explore much my first day, my ankle hurt, my ribs ached, and my stomach was growling.  I paid the clerk for a room, got some food, and shut myself in my room (it didn't help that I had a skull in my bag, people in small communities tend to not like skulls).  The lady at the front looked to be a really nice old motherly type, but I frankly didn't care, I made sure to tell her I wasn't to be disturbed. And for a few blissful days I was able to cool off, unfortunately as things tend to go with me, that didn't last!

Talking Too Much of The Damned

I had made a small fire to warm myself for Morley's return (what can I say I get cold really easily), I still had no food (wherever that horse went I never found out, I like to think she found some kind of horse utopia and lived out her days in quiet contenment, I also like to believe the universe doesn't hate me, you've seen how one doesn't neccessarily agree with the other), so I was sitting there with my stomach growling like you wouldn't believe. I didn't fully trust Morley to resolve the undead situation, but hungry, hurt, and likely partially corrupted it wasn't like I had a lot of choice in the matter. I didn't even know in which direction Morley had rode off in!

So there I was a small fire burning away waiting for an evil person to show back up when a hooded figure approached.  Now I'll admit I don't normally accept visitors with derision, but something seemed off with this guy, I got to my feet through no small amount of effort. He was entirely cloaked in a dirty old robe grayed from misuse proper use? I dunno I'm not a robe expert.

"You're a necromancer?" His voice was like dried paper being rubbed against snake scales, vowels extended out for too long, consonants blurred with the vowels.  It was the kind of voice that sceamed "I'm a bad guy please don't listen to any lies I may say."

"I'm a poor man lamed by fate good sir, take pity on me and move on." Ok I'll admit I'm not exactly the most honest person either.

"You are a liar! I am Rodrigo Vantema, a Dark Lord of the Wirean empire! We spanned this entire land mass for gen..." I chopped his head off at this point, look I could tell a long speech when I hear one and honestly listening to whoever from wherever was about as interesting as picking lint of out of my belly button. I tossed the corpse on the fire (you can never tell with dark lords who talk like dried leaves if flat out decapitating them will get the job done, my motto, burn first, burn second, burn forever). His body went up like tinder, not even the bones were left (fire wasn't even that hot so it must have just been really old). Thankfully there wasn't any lasting smell (I was almost worried his body would smell like cooked meat which would only make me hungrier and yeah didn't want to go the actual canabilism route).

And so I remained for another day, up on a cliff waiting for Morley to get back so I could get out of there. If only I'd known I'd accidentally already solved the issue entirely I could have already left to get something to eat! Hindsight is always clear they say, because they are dicks.