Lock Up Switcheroo

The train thumped along, we were moving at a steady clip, which would have been a good thing if me, the prince, and Leland hadn't been captured by prisoners. We were in holding cells formerly set up for prisoner transfers, a scarred up one eyed fat man with a shotgun staring at us to keep us in line. One nice thing is that we were all in the same cell, and I was without magical shackles, though ole one eye looked to have his finger tapped on the trigger.

"I'm still at a loss as to how this happened." That was Leland, he had a black eye developing from when one of the prisoners socked him in the eye.

"Simple really, in failing to get the train going we allowed the prisoners that opportunity to do it for us, and in doing that they figured we were some kind of authority they can ransom." Ole one eye grunted, either in agreeance or just flatulence.

"I still cant' believe you guys got me out of prison to get me ransomed!" The prince was furious, I found it kind of funny, but you know as of late this situation was the least of my problems.

"Don't worry they won't ransom us, once they find out we're on board they'll just blow up the train." I was being optimistic as usual.

"WHAT?!" Leland and the Prince both reacted negatively to my assertion we were not very far from being exploded.  I took the time to lay down on the metal cot.

"Do try and keep it down guys riding the rails always gets me sleepy." It really does.  I also hadn't really slept in a while and I figured I'd cross the exploded bridge when we got to it.  Hopefully not right away mind you.

That's where I have something most of my companions do not.  I have experience in seemingly impossible insane situations that can cost me my life in any number of ways.  I know I'll survive (they may not, but they don't need to hear that!), so why not just take a moment to gather your strength before the next shoe drops.  Because it totally is.

Reluctant Rescue Returns

I met up with Leland and his band outside of the prison (the prison had been built into a ravine, so I got lucky and Leland saw me while I was approaching it with a bomb in the back of a cart, I imagine one of their sharp shooters would have had a lifetime of back claps for blowing up something like that).  He was "disguised" as a travelers who's wagon broke down, being a shorty helped in that no one in the area would actually try and help him, so sitting there forever wasn't out of place, and me stopping also didn't look odd for anyone who might be watching.

"Damn." That was his greeting to me, I figured he might be a little sad I was there.  It was full noon and the heat was already draining.

"Nice to see you too Leland."

"I had hoped you'd strike out with this bomb thing and we could then just go north and leave this fat beaurocrat to his own devices."

"No such luck Leland, so whats the plan?" The "Plan" was pretty much a distract and infiltrate.  Except distract in this case meant "explode and kill a lot of people thus leaving them totally off balance for us to sneak the prince out." I'll admit it was kind of a brute force plan.  One somewhat complicated aspect of it was waiting for a train.  See the prison was built in a ravine under a train tressel (well it was originally a tressel, it became the roof/station for the prison), our plan was to wait for the trains afternoon drop off, explode the bomb, hopefully keeping the train in the station, snatch the prince, hop on the train and be gone before anyone figures it out.  Sounds really easy right?

Now you are probably wondering "How did we get the bomb close enough to the prison to blow it up and cause a disturbance?" Simple, because the prison was built in a ravine, there was an incline to the bottom part (which housed the shorties and the least amount of security, like most things in life the shit was at the bottom). Bearing that in mind, we just rolled it down hill with a lit fuse and hoped for the best (because the plan was so well put together beside this point right? Exactly).  While one group did that, me and Leland were going to sneak in and snag the prince and somehow get the train moving.

It was with great fear I waited just out of sight of what looked like a nasty guy with a long rifle, Leland dressed as conservatively as I'd seen him to my right.  There was a lot of open ground between us and the prison, and if the bomb failed to explode or distract, there was very little hope we could get inside the prison, well both of us, I'm sure I could have and Leland would have become a bullet pin cushion.

"Did they release it?" I was getting anxious.

"Yes, I still think this is a really bad idea."

"Of course it is, thats why it'll work, no one would be this stupid to attack a prison when a supply train is there, since obviously there'll be more guards to move the supplies and prisoners."

"What?" And then the bomb exploded thus ending our conversation.  I say exploded, but in reality it detonated so loud and with such force that the ground shook with it. I was worried we might have just blown up the whole damn prison it was so loud.  It worked though, the guy with the mean looking rifle disappeared somewhere, and we made a break for the entrance.  It was a heavy metal door (naturally) set in a stone wall.  Leland looked at the lock and took out some tools.

"What are you doing?" Behind the door I could hear chaos inside, it sounded like the explosion must have hit while they were transfering prisoners, sounds of fighting and screams of pain echoed.

"Picking the lock, unless you know another way to open one."

"Yeah I do." It took a bit more juice than I would have liked, but I managed to burn the hinges off the heavy door and with a kick sent it slamming hard to the floor, crushing a prisoner who apparently was trying to pick it on the other side (sorry buddy). Inside was a mad house as the sounds made it seem.  Guards were fighting a losing battle against shackled prisoners, who had somehow gotten guns and were doing their best to kill everything that looked like they were in a uniform. Our plan couldn't have worked out better (because it was flawless you see) and with no trouble at all we had the prince out of his cell (I let Leland pick the lock, since we had some time now and I didn't want to expend anymore energy than I needed) and were on our way to the train.

I'll admit the prince looked worse for wear, but he hugged me when we freed him (he was still fat, but he was that I haven't eaten fat, look its hard to explain, just trust me).  Surpringly we were able to board the engine of the train no issue, no guards or anything were trying to keep prisoners away from it.  And thats where the problems started.

"So lets get going." I was eager to leave, we weren't exactly going to take the train all the way to the next destination, but we needed it to successfully escape the prsion.

"Sure start it up Trezlan." Leland looked to me and I looked to him, and then we both looked to the Prince.
"Neither of you two no how to get this thing running?" He said with that kind of royal assholery only someone who can barely tie his shoes can muster.

"Shit." Leland and I said it in unison, you know what they say, best laid plans of idiots always foiled by lacking knowledge.  Well no one says that, but I just did and since I live forever IT WILL NOW BE A THING YOU ARE WELCOME!

Accidental Traitors

The Hanlon arms group were kind of secretive.  And I don't just mean that like they weren't open about who was in charge (they weren't) or that they hid their factories and warehouses in weird places (they did, including one disguised as a farm).  Their motivations in general were hard to figure out. Like they supported Ronerawth in general, but previous traitors have been found with Hanlon arms caches (they claimed stolen/purchased legally).  On top of that unlike every other major group in Ronerawth they had no representative in the capitol, or were even involved in politics.  They didn't get involved in mining disputes, or labor union issues or anything.  It lead to a lot of talk that the people who work for Hanlon were all enslaved magical something or others, as no one seemed to actually work for them that anyone knew (which was ridiculous I met their very human workers once, though I will admit I didn't exactly hang around to see if they were real people...).

I go over all of this to explain that while I was visiting one of their warehouses to pick up explosives, it wasn't like it was in a major city or really under any surveillence of Ronerawth. It actually had taken me years to even find one of their warehouses (previously their weapon shipments to my shop just arrived by crate with a note detailing where I can put payment, this went on decades before I finally got in the "circle" to find where the weapons were coming from), I don't know if Ronerawth even knew it was there (it was disguised as a milk farm, though there were no animals to milk).  I knocked on the door and a nicely dressed man greeted me, there were no guards or even other people.  Which again was odd for a warehouse full of weaponry, to the right of the door I knocked on were large double doors probably for loading and unloading freight, but I dunno could have been a place for a huge cannon, you can never tell with some people.

"Trezlan Lorentino what a pleasant surprise." When I stop by some place out of the blue to meet someone who would have no idea I'm coming, well it makes me a bit leery when they not only address me personally, but warmly.

"You have me at a loss."

"Toneron Hanlon," He extended his hand and I shook it to be polite, "I believe you knew my grandfather."

"Knew is a very generous assessment of my association."

"Of course, you're looking good, glad to hear you got your magic and with it necromancy back, follow me will you?" I was a bit taken back, I knew Hanlon was aware of me as a person, a bit more alarmed they knew about my troubles and my necromancy. We passed out of the hallway and into an office, again I saw no one in the warehouse, nor were their houses or horses for workers.  I was getting more than a little creeped out.

"I need a bomb." I decided to be blunt as I sat in a chair that felt overly too soft, yet inviting all the same.

"Of course you do." His eyes had lit up, for a second I thought it was a trap, that I had been lead to slaughter by a smiling madman and now the noose would close in.  "Do you also need some less than honest mercenaries who would be willing to over throw the government?"

"No just the bomb, aren't you a little worried what I'll do with it?"

"I assume you'll blow something up, and thats fine with me, sure you don't need those mercenaries? I have some good leads should you need some men not happy with the government." He had an unnatural smile, like you weren't seeing a real smile, but whatever behind the smile wanted to think you were.

"You don't care that I'm labeled a traitor?"

"Traitor and hero are only decided by the victor, wars are good for business, if you fail the government buys more to suppress your actions, if you win we stood behind a glorious revolution, either way its fantastic for Hanlon." Remember this for later, not like immediately but this stance comes back...

"I'm a bit taken back by your vision Mr. Hanlon."

"Because you think we care who runs this place Mr. Lorentino.  We don't care, the same way you and Morley (again creepy how they knew my associates/enemies), we only care about Hanlon." This sentiment has started to creep up other places,  I worry about it becoming more popular even today, religions are one thing, they follow gods, what do corporations follow?

"So about that bomb?"

"How big do you need it?"

"Something big enough to cause a lot of panic and blow a large hole in a fortified structure."

"I'll have a wagon and horses out front for you Mr. Lorentino, would you like an upgrade to your pistol while you're here? I notice its an older model."

"No I'm good thanks."

"Good good, do you need a guard or will you be riding alone."

"I'll be fine Mr. Hanlon."

"Please call me Toneron, Mr. Hanlon was my father, now if you excuse me I have other business to deal with." The door opened though there was no one there to open it (I checked though tried not to make it look obvious) and I was shocked when the cart and horses were outside of the warehouse, they even had the horse I'd ridden with attached in a harnes.  I saw no workers, or even footprints of people who had brought this cart into existence.  I started to feel wrong in a way that I couldn't explain, leaving the fake milk farm became an overriding desire.  I got the horses going with the reins and felt better with the creepy warehouse behind me, until I looked on the seat next to me and saw a map with a simple note.

"Though you might need directions to the prison, good luck Trezlan." It was written in what almost looked like a womans hand, though I hadn't seen any women there, and I won't even go over that I hadn't mentioned I was blowing up a prison.  I got the feeling I'd somehow signed a deal with an entity that was not simply a weapon manufacturer, and what I was paying with was not going to be money.  At the same time though, I had bigger problems.  Like breaking that idiot prince out of jail! And now I had the means and method for doing just that, so later concerns would have to wait till they came back to bite me in the ass later!

You need a Plan, and explosives, but mainly a Plan

"So then I pop out of the bottom of the cart, slip by the guards, find the prince and then we sneak back out before anyone knows he's missing!"

"That's your plan?"

"Worked with your relative!" It did I swear people think I just make things up or something.

"That was entirely different, this is a real prison staffed with real guards and the government is not in a war or in turmoil.  Now you're in luck my crew has had to break people out of this prison before, thats good."

"Great!"

"But they were in the shorty section of the prison, an uncategorized hole where they don't even note the names of the people they have locked up, where as your prince will be in the actual secured parts, with real guards and everything."

"That's bad."

"Yeah that's real bad." Leland sighed, he had the plans for the prison open (where he got them I have no idea, he seemed like a resourceful little bugger), "You wouldn't happen to have access to a lot of explosives or anything would you?"

"No wait... maybe?"

"You don't know if you have access to explosives?"

"Well I have a contact with a weapon manufacturer, and while they don't make cannons or anything, they have access to black powder to make ammunition, so if we can get our hands on that."

"If they don't already abandon you for being a traitor."

"So negative Leland, don't do that, its my schtick." It is damn it, if people act all doom saying about everything it leaves nothing for me to say, which doesn't mean I won't stop talking, it just means that I don't say anything worth saying! Wait that doesn't sound right.

"I'm just saying Trezlan maybe we should..."

"Nonesense, I can get the explosives, you get your people and plan together."

"You don't even know what I'm planning!"

"Excellent, that way if I'm caught I can say I had no idea what you're up to! This is fool proof Leland."

"It can't be, because your involved we have a fool already."

"Again with all the negativity! Think positive thoughts!" I gathered some things (like my sword someone had helpfully brought along, and one of my pistols) and escorted my horse out of the cave. Leland followed after me, an exasperated look on his face.

"You don't even know where this prison is!"

"I'll figure it out, I always do! Just have your part of the plan ready."

"What plan?"

"Exactly!" And with that I mounted and was off.  I didn't stop to think what would happen if Ronerawth was waiting for me at the Hanlon warehouse, because as most things in my life, I don't exactly think every little detail through, because honestly where's the fun in that?

Rescues Are for Suckers

"Yes I heard you, but I still don't understand you Mr. Lorentino." My rescuer was Leland Pavarosi the Fourth (I don't actually know if he was the fourth Leland or he just liked the title), a relative of the shorty I saved back in the day.  So that at least explained why he risked his life and that of his fellow circus folk to save me.  Well it sort of does, gods know I wouldn't risk my life for someone that helped a relative of mine, not that I have any of those left anyway! Also when I say circus, I mean den of thieves.  And not like informally, he admitted as much to me that their "circus" is at best a cover for them robbing people blind.  I had to admit the operation was genius, distract people with tricks, steal everything that isn't nailed down while that happens, and then pull up stakes before the authorities catch on.

"Its simple I can't exactly run away, and the only idiot who can tell me whats going on, is set to be executed himself, so now I have to save him thus doubly proving I was in on a conspiracy I was certainly not involved with." Leland looked at me with a squint that showed he did not understand what I was saying.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"And that will be the last thing they expect, look I can't expect your circus to get involved in this, you already risked enough, but I have to do this, because I'm not going back to the Red Hand or east, I'm staying in Ronerawth and figuring out who's trying to kill me."

"The government, the entire government is out to kill you." He was right, but you know just because someone is right doesn't mean they are right. Understand that? Exactly.

"All I need is a horse, a pistol, and possibly a sword, and I think I can pull this off." I was overestimating my abilities by just a little bit.

"Have you ever broken into a prison to free someone before?"

"Sure lots of times, wait break in? No, I've been thrown in though, same deal right?" Leland shook his head, I could see behind him the twins were learning a new "magic" trick from one of his helpers, the magic of course was in palming someones wallet while doing the trick.  Leland had picked up the twins when he'd heard about my execution, he was intending on grabbing useful things from my house and didn't realize they'd be there, an unlike me he would have felt guilty just leaving a couple young girls to probably be executed for treason for being connected with me (look I can admit it, I'm not that great a parental figure).

Leland sighed again and then pulled out a map from a nearby satchel, "I figured you'd want to do something stupid like this, my ancestors warned me that if I ever felt the need to work with you, I'd have to deal with crazy, I had no idea how right they were."

"So you're going to help me?"

"If you won't leave these lands, this is my bands best chance of getting out of the hole I dug them in saving you."

"Ahh so I'm not the only one who doesn't think their plans through?"

"Yep, both of us have proven to be damned idiots, who else to plan another rescue?"

And so it came that Leland and his circus of thieves helped me rescue a prince who may or may not have actually committed treason.  In looking back I think we should have figured out if he was actually treasonous first.  Oh well in hindsight everything I do seems foolish. Maybe that says something?

The Execution of Trezlan Lorentino

Public executions always bring out the worst in people. Some dick always brings fruit to throw at the soon to be executed (because its not like getting hung, shot, or your head chopped off is enough, no someone has to throw garbage on you). People act like your crime is the worst thing ever even when you might not have actually done it or it was something they themselves would have done.  And the smell from the unwashed peons is enough to make you wish the execution was over faster (thus hastening your own demise).

With all that in mind you can see why despite it being a nice sunny day and fairly warm I was less than happy standing on the hanging platform awaiting my short drop with a quick stop (I was glad they decided to do this on a platform, another method of hanging that is not so pleasant involves a tree, a horse, and leverage, you can probably figure that one out).  To make matters worse the pompous ass in charge had decided it was neccessary to rattle off my "crimes" for all the world to hear.  While it was nice to know what false charges I was accused of, it made the time I was standing on a platform hands tied behind my back and noose around my neck last a couple freaking hours (not exagerating, this guy had a speech and a routine for everything, it was less an execution and more of a political statement).

It was nice that it let me see all the dirty people in the crowd and get pelted with rotten vegetables thrown by said dirty people. I did notice something curious though, there were more shorties than I'd seen in a Ronerawth crowd in a while, everytime I'd lay eyes on one they'd nod back like in agreence to some pact I wasn't privy to. I did feel a little less afraid of trying to escape since it either implied they thought I was in a conspiracy with them and thus they'd be more likely to help me escape, or they were there to rescue me for some reason (I'd always been nice to shorties, sort of, ok not all the time, but I didn't like kick them everytime I ran across them!). For my own part in the "not wanting to be executed plan" I had already burned the rope they were holding my hands tight with and thanks to all the time the politician spent yammering on, and the fact that my rope was pretty loose around my neck allowing me to look up at it (hence the reason I said to make it tight, assholes made it loose to insure it wouldn't snap my neck but let me hang there, its the sure fire way of getting someone to do something, tell them not to do it) and thus weaken the rope more by quietly burning it (but not enough to alert the bored guards near me it had been thusly weakened). I was all set to free myself when the politician finally brought his remarks to a close.

"And so we will take from Lorentino, what he would take from us all, his life, do you have anything to say in response Trezlan?" He was wearing a white wig and some ridiculous purple outfit that even I was taken aback by.

"The Fire God looks not kindly on traitors, nor executioners who they themselves should be executed, think on that and be done with this." I don't actually believe in the Fire God (well I believe she exists as gods have been proven to, I just don't believe in the wacky religion that has sprung up around her), what I do believe though is that ignorant people get wary when someone invokes a God, especially when I was planning to free myself with fire magic (thus setting up even more waryness in my audience).

The politician left the platform, and his guards followed (because no one wants to be standing near someone about to be executed, I might do something crazy).  I steadied myself for the drop (and hoped I'd weakened the rope enough so that it would simply break, and not my damn neck), I heard a lever fall and then the platform underneath me gave way.  I hit the ground with an oof, and then the platform over me exploded (something I did not cause). It took me a minute to get out from under burning wooden debris (great plan by the way you dicks blow up the thing DIRECTLY ON TOP OF ME)  I heard gun shots and shouts from all places, well I say heard, but really all I heard was ringing in my ears and muted sounds that sounded like gunfire and shouts.  I stumbled out of the wreckage of the formerly wooden structure and a shorty in a really gaudy hat grabbed my hand.

"Come Trezlan we have to get you out of here." Seeing as I had a ringing in my ears, and had almost gotten crushed by burning debris I wasn't really up to saying no (it wasn't implausible for Ronerawth to be pulling a fast one on me and faking my escape to get me to turn on my fellow traitors, but since I didn't have any fellow traitors, it would have been ridiculously stupid to do so). The entire street formerly full of dirty people was now filling with soldiers and gun fire.  I was actually surprised at how many shorties seemingly came out to save me (thus probably supporting the theory I was a traitor).  I was lead into an alley where a couple horses were waiting, fancy hat and I mounted and were quickly away, well I stumbled to my horse, and he lead me away, but still the sounds of gunfire faded before the ringing in my damn ears.

We had gotten lucky that the city planned for my execution was a smaller hamlet and not the capitol, because it let us flee in the chaos and not be in a more spread out urban enviroment making that a lot harder. Fancy hat lead me to what else but a damn cave and we dismounted and walked our horses inside (because if you are hiding out, leaving your horses out in the place you were is a really bad idea). Inside the cave were other shorties, all of them armed and looking like bandits, though with less fanciful outfits than my savior in the hat.

"Welcome to my Circus Mr. Lorentino!" Fancy hat had a weird way of introducing people, but I can't blame him, I mean he literally ran a circus!

What Kind of Fake Treason Plan is This?

I miss the old Ronerawth government.  When they wanted to threaten you, they took you out to the desert and threatened to have you die of thirst and heat.  It was at least bright and welcoming, like "Well they are threatening my life but at least I'm getting some sun". Now its all dark rooms with one harsh light and no furniture, they still do this (or so I've heard since I'm effectively exiled, but not for this bit of dumbery something later, that I actually did do). The two men who were with me as I transitioned from my failed cell trap to the dark room they would interegate me in were obviously members of the Royal guard, as denoted by their fancy pistols and purple clothing.  It told me I was in something serious as opposed to the times I've been locked up for hilarity sake by just regular peons.  I wasn't shackled, so apparently the Ronerawth government had heard of my magical issues and no longer considered me much of a threat (it was my ace in the hole for the situation).  I was placed on a chair unchained or restrained at all, but the implication was I should remain seated.

"Ok lets just skip to the part where you threaten me with made up charges and request I do something I don't want to do, but will agree to, to avoid some action to innocent people." As you've read before this wasn't my first go round.

"Excuse me?" The lead talker, thinner than his friend, obviously the "brains" of their group.

"You can't possibly expect me to believe that you think I'm involved in whatever treasonous whatever you've drummed up, I've been out of the country for months, I just got back!"

"And you're known as a planner, someone who plots things out in advance Lorentino." Known by whom? I have no idea, because most of the time the only thing I plot out in advance is failure, witness my attempt to kill Morley over time, clearly already by this point I HAD FAILED!

"Ok if you don't want me to do something for you, what the hell is this all about?"

"We want to know the other conspirators, you are set to be executed anyway Lorentino, but do the country a favor and let us know who else was involved." How pleasant, the you're already dead, kill some other people on the way out.

"Right of course, method of execution?"

"Public hanging."

"Well I got some advice for you guys, make sure the rope is strong and tight." And at that point I refused to cooperate, because screw burning other people not involved in this, though I had to wonder if that idiot prince had actually gotten involved in treason. It didn't matter to my captors, they marched me from interogation back to my cell and I awaited my "execution".  I put that in quotes because again I had my magic again and these idiots were about to try and hang me when I'm a fire magic user, thats idiotic, but as it turns out for me, beneficial! Since I'm clearly still alive I made it away, and next entry I'll enthrall you with my brilliance, because as always I'm amazing.