Like I Never Left, Which is What I'd Prefered

I don't know why everytime I return home I expect some kind of welcoming comittee. I mean I think pretty highly of myself (that much is obvious of course) so I guess when I'm gone I figure people notice, but for the most part they do not. I returned to my store Nidget waved (with all of his fingers even which was nice) and I put away what little I'd returned home with (apparently the horse I had set out with had returned weeks before, Nidget just assumed I got killed didn't even set up a fake grave or anything). After that stirling reception I decided to swing into the Flagon Slayer and kill the rest of my night drinking.

"You couldn't have stayed in the afterlife Trezlan?" Valrym was such a pleasant server on my return.

"Nah I have so much to live for, besides if I wanted to stay in an afterlife I'd prefer one that is eternal pleasure, not conflict."

"There is no afterlife that is eternal pleasure."

"Man you gods suck, I can see why you're all going to be gone some day."

"So will you Lorentino." He turned around and went to help other customers and I sat at my end of the bar drinking, a usual night for Trezlan Lorentino. Therod would swing by later chastised me for not paying my property taxes (she was still having to collect them apparently, I had forgotten this, or didn't care enough to remember, take your pick) and then told me she was going to keep an eye on me.  So it was like I never left in the first place which is just about how I like my life. Crazy enough to keep me on my toes, steady enough that despite being on my toes I can still reliably guess where things are going. Which is usually awful, because I live in a world of pain, suffering, and gods damned shorties.

And Here Is Where You Made Your Mistake

"You don't scare me." Voice was shaking, eyes still wide, even being dressed in human flesh didn't make him anymore imposing than the tiny little spec of crap he was. Honestly I had no idea how the tiny frail man had commanded this army of fools anymore than I could figure how I'd wound up the destroyer of it. But there I was, and there he was. Siara was going to rush forward and gut him, but I held her back just a simple gesture telling her to stay her hand. After what I did she obliged.

"Of course not, such a strong willed leader such as yourself is clearly in charge of this situation. Certainly not terrified of a real magic user coming to smash your little army." I could smell something, and not just the badly burnt flesh and the general smell of sleze that the kids army had. No there was something off here, something that didn't line up.

"That's right this is my army and you and your little crusader can't stop my plans." He said crusader pretty derisively like he had a previous association with Siara.

"Stop just stop, you're a terrified little coward, and your army is not even yours, its not even real." Despite all the murdering of course, that was completely real.

"What are you on about Trezlan?" Siara kept her voice low, but she was completely confused especially in the wake of the entire group of people I'd killed moments before.

"You'll see how real they are!" I had strode forward and buried my sword into his chest, it stuck out of his back like some weird horn. His army faded, first shimmering, and then completely dematerializing entirely.

"You were weak little man, I am strong, you sought something you should not have had, and I have taken it from you." I withdrew the blade and he collapsed to the ground crying, his final moments trying to grab after me as death took him.

"This does not make any sense." Siara despite being a servant of the gods, did not, and I believe still does not, understand their machinations, nor their illusions or how deadly they can be.

"It does, I'm sure you if you peeled back the masks of flesh he wore you'd find someone your order had spurned, in his rage he invited something in he should have left alone and it controlled him to its own end. Somewhere there is a very outraged godling who set this pebble in motion and is very dissapointed it didn't cause the complete avalanche." I could tell the army wasn't real when I necromanced the group, they were empty, completely devoid of any actual anima, just life force. That implies some kind of high minded illusion, or extremely mentally damaged people, I figured illusion since despite looking like clowns they appeared to actually be animated.

"I am not finished here." Siara said that more to herself than me. I was done there, sure I could have tracked down the god illusion character, or whatever had spawned this maurading army, but it wasn't my fight. Wasn't my care. I had business somewhere else (that being anywhere but where I was) and so I left. I found a fishing village south, chartered a boat back home, and wrote the whole thing off as a really bad weekend. Overall I think it was for the best.

Welcome to Burn Town

"I thought we left all the monsters back in the five fires." Siara had of course charged on into the fray. The "monsters" were more like a ravenous group of weirdos than "monsters".  They had painted their faces in blood, wore weird footware (probably why their tracks didn't show up?), and had ballistic meele weapons (gun swords is the best way I can explain it, they were as stupid as you can possibly imagine with that description). They surrounded us as per their dark instructions from whatever was leading this group of mercenary wackjobs with bulletswords and I had enough. I HAD ENOUGH!

I'd been running around for days, I hadn't been home, I just escaped from the five fires had a weird conversation with Hanlon and then was thrust to running after this group of wailing murderers of which now we're surrounding me. Siara was doing her rage induced best to kill the things, but they'd killed her order she wouldn't last long and I didn't want to die, because screw that madness. So I lost it.  The situation drove me to show the world why I should be feared. Why you may use fire to burn down the occaisional village, but I use fire to burn down entire armies. I showed that group of ravenous morons why they are afraid of people who use magic, because magic is dangerous (corruption be damned here).

I started with our barriers that were trapping us in town, taking the flame they had intended as a road block and I had it washing over the attackers like a flood unleashed. At first they didn't know what to do, suddenly fire was awash amongst them, then they started to scream and run. Those who fled died screaming as my waves followed them and smashed into them like a firey hammer. The ruin I left in my wake was jaw dropping (Siara just stood there in silence terrified of what I was unleashing she confided in me afterward). I could feel with my exertion the corruption gripping me, the madness taking over from so much magical power. Thankfully my sanity was still in check and some of the horde was near me, so I sliced my hand and threw my blood on them, whatever confusion they felt with the move was erased as my necromancy wrenched their souls from their bodies and reinvigorated my body (though funny thing they had empty minds, something that will come into play later).  The corruption at bay I squelched my firey waves and made my way out of the trap. The smoking corpses of our former attackers nothing but crispy reminders that messing with Trezlan Lorentino is not an optimum way to go about life. Of course outside of town was the rest of this ravenous group of idiots. Though they were much less inclined to fight us than before for some reason. Their leader a frail childish looking man looked on at me, he was dressed in what appeared to be human skin, his eyes wide in terror.

"So which one of you cupcakes is going to get me a drink?" And with that the battle was formally joined.

The Gods Apparently Don't Want You To Slow Down

I hate people on a mission. They don't slow down, they don't take breaks or let you rest for longer than like four hours before you are pushing on. No we have to run run run. I tell you its stuff like this that got me out of the adventuring game in the first place (well that and the fact I HATE ADVENTURING!). All of this to say I spent four days chasing after Siara, down the mountains, into a valley, and all the way to a coast.  Along the way we came across more scenes of terror and horror apparently the army we were following loved murder and pillaging, they did it everywhere all over the place. It made me kind of afraid we were following this murderous group of rampaging murder people (yes thats the best term for it).

We had arrived in a town that reeked of the sea (have I mentioned I hate the smell of the sea? I hate the smell of the sea) so I knew we were getting close to the coast. It looked like the usual slaughterfests we'd passed through, dead bodies, burning, ruined buildings etc etc. Until suddenly the bodies came to life and hideous creatures trapped us in from all angles (the town was the usual one road affair with buildings along it, so they pinned us in by blocking the roads). Siara was prepared for this and took out a long staff from her pack and invited the monsters on. Me I was terrified and trying to think of a way out of our predicament. You know my usual. I tell you I need to start being better prepared, I say this years later because it's still an issue. Almost like I never learn a lesson EVER!

Hanlon Conundrum

"So how is business?" Casual chats in the middle of ruined monasteries with weird not humans is my thing.

"I have no idea." It had been a while since I'd been by the shop, I hoped it was still standing, and not burned to the ground by an angry group of jerks who decided my store was an afront to the gods or something (it hasn't happened yet, but you know just me writing that could possibly have it happen).

"So I noticed when you weren't at your store for several weeks." Hanlon at times acts like he's a regular person who has regular person things like checking up on a colleague and being dissapointed they aren't there, but he's not and so this like everything else is a charade put on for my amusement. At least Siara was too wrapped up in her anger to even see Hanlon looking out of place talking to me.

"Well I kind of got wrapped up in some insanity." He smiled.

"Clearly."

"You know all about what I was up to don't you? That's how you knew to find me here, you have some kind of weird connection to me that I'm not aware of.  What in the five fires are you Hanlon?"

"A businessman Trezlan, much like you."

"Yeah I don't believe that at all."

"Believe what you will Trezlan, but I am no more than a merchant, I have things I sell, I have things I buy, and I have things I aquire, I have to say I do it on a grander scale than you do, but ultimately, you and I, we're in the same business in a lot of ways." I hadn't noticed Siara had stopped raging, I was too wrapped up in the mystique of Hanlon to notice anything. Well other than how suddenly cold my hands felt, and how confused I was about everything (per usual). Hanlon seemed to be looking through me, not talking, just standing there. It was kind of unsettling considering the setting and his appearence in it.

"So you aren't going to say anything else?"

"Who are you talking to?" It was Siara behind me, I turned to her and then back to Hanlon to introduce them, but to my surprise he was gone. As was any trace that he was there ever. No foot steps, no indentation from where he'd been standing. I tell you it wasn't the first time I wondered if I made up Hanlon, if not for his stamped weaponry sitting on my store shelves I'd have been really worried about my sanity (what little I have left considering the circumstances).

"Myself, I'm a bit nutty if you haven't figured it out." I figured I might as well go with the obvious. Siara was all packed up, and she had an additional pack I assumed for me. It was mostly just traveling supplies, but I did notice weaponry poking out of her pack.

"We have to go, the Gods have told me where I am needed." I didn't argue with a woman just getting over her grief. Even though I'm pretty sure the "gods" in this case were her own anger fed imagination, but I'd seen her fight and didn't want to get into that kind of argument. On top of that I didn't want to hang around the ruins of a monastery full of dead people in the middle of a cold mountain. So it really was, win win.  Still What Hanlon was doing up there was a mystery to me, and still is. That kind is just my own personal insanity.

No Reason Just Madness

I'm really really awful at empathy. Its not just the age though I'd like to blame it on that, but no I'm just really terrible with giving a shit about anyone's problems. I mean sure I try and fake it, but I'm terrible at faking it too. So when Siara looked at the ruined nature of her monastery and was on her knees sobbing the best I could do was pat her shoulder and uhh stand there. Look I just told you I'm terrible at empathy. Siara cried, she howled, and she spent time wandering around amongst the ruins seeking anything to explain what had happened.

I just stood there, I didn't have any connection to the monastery, never knew any of these people or their mission outside of what Siara had told me and so the best I could do was judge the ruins.  Whoever had destroyed the monastery did a really good job, no one had been left alive. Small arms fire was mixed with what appeared to be artillery and other types of explosive devices. What struck me as odd is that the attack couldn't have been that far out, but I saw no signs of the large army that must have done the job, nor any of their dead amongst the fallen (bodies in the monastery were pretty uniquely dressed like Siara). So the monastery was annihilated by an army that had arrived and dissappeared without leaving as much of a trace, yet was well armed enough to kill an entire group of well armed and trained people without suffering so much as one lost member.

I was standing outside of the gates just looking off into the distance while Siara raged behind me when I spotted one lone figure approaching the monastery. He was dressed in a black suit, had no horse or other means of traveling large distances, nor did he have any supplies. Only one other person (and I use that term very vaguely) traveled as stupid as I did.

"Trezlan." He nodded as he approached.

"Hanlon." What was he doing there? How did he find me? Was he the one who wiped out the monastery? All these things and more will be answered. Next Entry naturally.

Slow Down I Forgot My Endurance In my Other Coat

I always feel out of shape compared to just about everyone else. I mean despite ending up having to walk/run everywhere I never apparently develop any kind of stamina.  I'm guessing its all the drinking, smoking, and eating of meat without vegetables that does me in (curse you things that are delicious and bad for me!) All the same people should take this into account when they freaking run off without me! I'm hundreds of years old you assholes have some respect for your elders! But no people like Siara take off full sprint other places and I have to stumble to keep up with them.

I was saved by the snow actually (not saved in the sense it made it any easier to trudge along the mountain paths or anything because that was still a pain), I was able to follow Siara's path through the mountain passes (of which there were several winding paths). And then when I cleared the snowy passes it became obvious where Siara was going and why all of a sudden her foot steps had changed from deteremined walking to fast running.

The monestary was smoking. I smelled it before I saw it, at first mistaking the scent for someone burning meat on the mountainside (I don't know why I assumed that, I'm weird ok). Despite having smell burning human flesh before apparently I forgot what it smells like (probably out of necessity, I mean being able to instantly identify burning human puts you in a rare category of messed up). I'm sure in its prime the Monastery was a nice place, probably full of life and people, now it was partially destroyed, bodies were scattered in the snow, and the ones who remained were hung up and cooking.

I found Siara in the middle of it on her knees weeping. I couldn't fault her, it would be overwhelming for everyone you knew and loved to be dead.  Well overwhelming for other people, for me thats just another day on the calendar.  Ok so maybe I am messed up.