Now You Say No

"What do you mean no?" It had taken me a bit to track down Hanlon, and when I had I was entirely disappointed in his response as you could imagine. Donel had decided not to come along when I told him I was going after Hanlon, having figured it was best not to be involved with him, and I couldn't fault him because I didn't want to have to deal with Hanlon.

"No its the opposite of yes I'll help you." He was seated at a cafe in a town on the coast, he didn't have a companion, but there had been a chair pulled out as if he was waiting for me.

"Why not?"

"Because Trezlan I'd prefer this world be wiped out at this point, it apparently longs to be destroyed more so than anything else, also its good for business, people in fear of their lives buy more weapons." I was so angry with him, because he was completely correct. The world did seem to want to explode, it did seem to want to be wiped out, and people would purchase his weapons in the end, but just because he was right didn't mean I had to accept it! I got up from the table and flipped him off (petulance is the one reserve I always have). Hanlon just gave me his same stare. It was not my most productive meeting. I ran into Donel up the street where he was waiting for me.

"Well is he going to help us?"

"No, he'd rather the world burn."

"So we're screwed?"

"No it means we wing it, because that's what I do, I wing things," Donel had a look on his face that told me he didn't think winging it was exactly a great solution, "Don't worry Donel I've lived all this time, I can do this."

"It's not you I'm worried about." You know Donel for being a bad ass warrior librarian was a bit of a downer. I mean come on things always work out for me! True not everyone I bring with me survives, but in my writing they do.

Necromantic Difficulties

"Does it hurt?" We were sitting around a fire outside of the sanitarium which was burning down. I was thinking we should have just stayed near the building for warmth, but you know that's probably rude to those people still stuck inside burning to death. I was shaking though because again necromancy is not an exact science and I use it like a cudgel which means sometimes things get messed up, ok a lot of the time.

"What necromancy? I have no idea probably extremely for those who die to it, but I've never really experienced it from that end." Still really haven't, I mean Morley has stung me a time or two with his bullshit, but its never been the full deal of killing someone.

"No I meant for you."

"Oh yeah that part? Hurts every time, like simple injuries healing themselves, or just taking in too much power, like right now I feel cold even though I know I shouldn't." I had been shivering despite being right near the fire, I could tell Donel was a bit worried. "Don't worry it passes, eventually, sometimes its harder than others, when I killed a god it took me a good long time for it to go away." Donel as most people when they hear these things said matter of factly had that stunned look on his face.

"What's it like?" That's the usual follow up.

"Like everyone shouting their entire life story at you all at once, except its in your head and you can't tell them to shut up." More or less, there are other aspects but no one wants to know about the bad dreams and potential loss of mental ability to a lingering soul.

"Wow, I'm sorry Trezlan."

"Its not your fault Donel, I killed them, I did this to myself because its what I do, it's how I've stayed alive all this time, and in this case it was important because now I know what the apocalypse is and we have to find Hanlon, he's the only one who can help us."

"The arms dealer?"

"Yeah we're going to need guns, a lot of them."

The Best Kind of Doctor

"Any ideas?" The good doctor and his friends had blocked off the exit and reinforced their position. I'd kind of blown my wad earlier and didn't have a lot of magical ability left because well sometimes you just don't know the strength of your own magical ability. We were already stuck because of my previous burning (see this is what happens when you ask for me to do something without telling me to do something minimal! So its really Donel's fault...) so we were between a wall of fire and a wall of bullets.

"I always like surrendering, it throws off your enemies." I don't necessarily "like" surrendering, I just tend to do it a lot.

"Pretty sure they won't accept our surrender." This was actually Donel's fault, he should have had an escape plan in advance, not just expected me to come up with one!

"You never know until you try." Donel tried to stop me from walking forward, but I did because well I'm brazen and a little crazy at times. They didn't fire on me, people are naturally averse to shooting on someone with their hands up, its general human nature.

"Willing to admit you have a problem Trezlan?" Doctor Tor had a sneer on his face, it was the look of someone who overestimated his chances.

"I'm completely willing to admit you have been a real pain in my ass Tor." I had gotten up to their barricade, I could see there were five of them plus the Doctor. Behind me I could hear Donel fidgeting, probably afraid I had turned on him after he had gone through all that effort to rescue me.

"Take him." One of the men came around the corner, his rifle had a bayonet on it and I grabbed it with my right hand. He looked surprised as I slid my hand down the knife slicing it open and then flung my blood onto him and his comrades.

"Gotcha." Necromancy is all about intimacy, ordinarily you have to be close to your target and willing to do something no one would expect, like say self injury to put your necromantic regent on everyone (blood is the greatest regent of them all, even if it means I've sliced my hands open in every way you can (and other parts of myself be thankful some of these stories are edited). Taking six people at once with a necomantic spell while under the effects of whatever they injected me with was moderately dangerous. Too many memories, too much power, all crammed into one person in a rush. It left me strained, like struggling to move strained. Donel realizing I was in trouble grabbed me and we exited the sanitarium before it burned to the ground (sorry other crazy people I'm sure that won't leave a horrific ghost presence in the burned out ruins or anything). Donel did at least have a truck waiting nearby, so that part of his escape plan worked. Not that I could do anything either way since I was racked with trying to stay partially sane and at the same time navigate the memories of the dead so that I could figure out what in the five fires was this apocalypse!

See there is a method to my madness! Most of the time anyway!

Side Effects May Vary

The problem with being on multiple drugs to counteract an issue you don't actually have is that you start to wonder if what you think is reality is actually reality. Like as I was sitting in my padded room the door suddenly burst open and Donel was there heavily armed and sporting a wild eyed look. I couldn't tell if he was really there, or the drugs had the oddest side effects I'd ever heard of. I was still kind of in and out and having trouble moving, so what he said seemed slow and hard to process.

"Get up Trezlan they are coming!' I did my best to get up, but you try having your arms pinned behind your back and heavily sedated and try and stand up, its not exactly the easiest thing in the world to pull off! Donel realizing that I couldn't exactly make my feet easily took out an overly long knife and sliced the jacket open (thankfully even though my arms were in there he didn't cut either one, or if he did I certainly didn't feel it). Some orderlies arrived and Donel killed them with his shotgun. I was kind of shocked, in theory the Sanitarium was not some kind of prison or group of evil people, but Donel wasn't sparing anyone who got in his way. It was a bit shocking from someone who my previous interaction with was very much a librarian, like I know I look like nothing myself (its one reason I surprise so many people they have no idea!) but Donel looked like the kind of guy to worry about breaking nails now he was out there kicking ass and gunning people down it was a bit disconcerting. Also concerning was the amount of armed guards in the sanitarium. Like I hadn't noticed them on my way in, but wow the place was more fortress than place designed to help anyone (and here I just thought it was my paranoia saying the building felt like a prison).

"Where are we going?" Not like I could remember the way out of the location nor offer assistance, but you know sometimes I like to know where I'm being lead to.

"Anywhere but here, we have to get you out of here, the apocalypse is coming!"

"Doctor Tor said I made that up!"

"Doctor Tor is in on it as is everyone else here, you're lucky someone at the jail remembered the name of the person who took you or I would have never been able to find you." I hate relying on luck, it makes it seem like my skills are not as sharp as I claim they are.

"Could you maybe help or something? You're supposed to be good at this kind of stuff." The hallway was full of orderlies with weapons, they had set up a makeshift barrier of beds and were ordering us to put down our weapons.

"Oh right sorry." Sloppy magic is dangerous magic, I turned towards the orderlies and just meant to set the beds on fire, what I did was cause a wave of flame to scorch the hallway and set fire to the entire wing we were in.

"Wow thank the gods you're on our side."

"I don't even know what side I'm on!" It was true I was confused as to what was going on in general, who I was in theory helping. Unfortunately there was no time for me to get my bearings because people were coming including the Doctor/Not Doctor Tor and I direly needed to talk with him. And by talk I mean murder the crap out of.

Forgive Me Doctor

"Mr. Lorentino I can not help you, if you do not want to help yourself." This was my second session with Doctor Tor, he was not a very good listener, well at least he wasn't someone who listened and did anything about it! Just noted something down and had his orderlies come in and inject me with drugs that made me tired and loopy (treatment in this case seemed meaning make me docile, not actually helping me).

"I don't need help, or whatever help you are offering, what I need is to be let out so I can stop the coming apocalypse." I admit this does sound like crazy talk for a normal person. But I am not a normal damn person thank you very much!

"Ahh yes the coming apocalypse, and tell me Mr. Lorentino how do you intend on stopping this event?"

"Somehow, probably using a combination of magic and luck." As far as plans go this was not my strongest one, not my worst one by a long shot, it was just a little vague was the problem. I mean people just need to understand I'm best thinking on my feet, or back, or some other none standing position when I have to come up with something last minute, its how I work or don't work, depending on how I feel.

"And you think you can stop the apocalypse by yourself? A weak pathetic little shred of failure like you?" His voice took on a sinister tone and I felt all of a sudden perhaps, just perhaps Doctor Tor was not here to help me.

"Well Doctor I do know that our session is up." I didn't have much else to say at that point, I was locked into my jacket, and the doctor was free to do whatever he could to me, which was probably not the optimal position for me to be in.

"You will never leave this sanitarium, you will die here along with the rest of the squealing masses, and we will win!"

"Forgive me Doctor, but I think you're the one who's crazy." He called the orderlies and they came and injected me with a drug that not only made me loopy it made it extremely difficult to move, which was a real pain in the ass during my escape. Oh yeah I totally escaped, all by myself not assisted at all...

No One Trusts A Prophet

"Come on let me out of here I was just trying to tell you all you're doomed!" I admit my method of trying to get released from prison wasn't exactly the smartest move. On the other hand I was not aware trying to warn people about upcoming apocalypses was against the damn law!

"Trezlan if you don't shut up soon I'm going to make you have difficulty answering the charges against you." Law enforcement no matter the time period are generally staffed by dick holes. Its like some kind of job requirement.

"Ok ok fine let yourselves be doomed to a horrific darkness, all I was trying to do is issue a warning from the benevolent gods in my head, but if you guys want to be overtaken by the horrors of the dark that's your own play." The guard let me be and I thought that was the end of that, until the men in white coats arrived and transported me to a sanitarium (a jail for the crazy, which I was not). The men in white coats were nice though, they even gave me a new jacket which restricted my arms and kept me from hurting myself (something they kept assuring me they wouldn't let me do as if I intended on ever harming myself!). Ordinarily I wouldn't be that concerned I conjure fire gods damn it, but the jacket also had that maddening magic canceling crap from the shackles. My room at the sanitarium was padded (with the jacket this seemed overkill), I didn't have a traditional bed, or roommate, but the padding was easy to sleep on. Sort of. All in all I did not appreciate the accommodations, nor did I appreciate that I at no point got to speak to my lawyer. Eventually I did get to speak to someone, but that asshole wasn't even willing to listen to me about the coming apocalypse! In fact he actually seemingly wanted the complete opposite. More on that next entry!

Reluctant Savior

"You are not living up to your potential." The voice in my head in my locked in state was chastising me, this was unexpected. Usually this whole get trapped in your own mind thing means someone else was in charge, but no this was just a guilt trip.

"Thanks dad, I'm really glad you trapped me within me to complain I'm not doing enough." Petulance one of the many qualities I bring to heroism.

"You are the voice of prophecy! You are to protect this world, and here you sit getting drunk and not doing anything about it!"

"Look I didn't even know about this prophecy until I read an old book of mine I wrote it in! You can't exactly blame me for ignoring it."

"True." The voice changed its tone as if trying to change its tactics, "This is actually our fault, we wrote you off as a prophet years ago when you were imprisoned, we figured you'd get executed or turned into a monster or something, our bad." I was insulted and at the same time understanding I'm more than a little bit of a screw up in life.

"So I was selected?"

"Well it wasn't like we had a lot of choices, decades ago we sensed this threat coming, it was either you or the unborn child of a dirt farmer, we went with you because you had lived all that time, and the dirt farmer child died in a tragic farm animal accident."

"Really helping my confidence." I didn't even know which gods or if these were even gods. Honestly the pantheon of gods in my world is a bit confusing. They are all selfish dicks who only do things for themselves, in a way they definitely reflect their worshipers, so if these were my gods they fit me to a t even though I didn't believe in them.

"Sorry sorry, so like can you help us stop the coming apocalypse?" This was said with the kind of voice like your neighbor asking if they can borrow some sugar.

"Haven't I stopped like three at this point? But sure I guess if it gets you to leave me alone."

"Fantastic, uhh one second." And then I was back in charge of myself, apparently I was just standing outside the library looking dazed, I had gathered a group of people around me who were wondering if I was ok. It didn't help when I came to I started shouting about the coming apocalypse. Which promptly got me thrown in jail. I tell you no one trusts prophecy anymore!