As I've said before I'm used to being kidnapped for me, but its rare for me to be kidnapped for someone else. I felt out of sorts, unable to figure out my place in this whole scheme. Would they threaten me to get to Val (laughable but they didn't know that)? Should I just get out since shackles can't hold me and these guys weren't involved with the death magic? But that would put Val in a bad situation and maybe these guys just were throwing a really weird surprise party (and boy would that be awkward to kill them in that case). So I was basically trapped until Val was returned, which meant I had to try and awkwardly make conversation with the muscle who didn't talk to me at all.
Like I would try and get him to talk about something, anything, but he just sat there and grunted occasionally. No outright threat to shut me up, or put me in a hurt or anything. Just sat there and existed. That actually told me a lot, it told me A. These guys were planning on killing us, because they had the masks off so we could see who they were. B. This guy was intending on specifically killing me, because he didn't want to humanize me before he had to kill me. C. He was a terrible conversationalist.
So I sat with my would be murderer waiting for Valrym to return and plotted his demise. Thanks to shackles not actually working on me any longer I was able to work all the necromancy I required, he was dead when I wanted him to be and I knew that, even if he didn't. It actually made my conversation attempts with him charming in retrospect, him feeling all smugly in charge not saying anything all the while he was a farts whisper away from having the life sucked out of him like so much Saturday morning garbage. Eventually Valrym was returned to me, he had a closed up eye on the right side and would probably have more facial bruises showing in a few hours.
"They are going to kill us you know that right Trezlan." Valrym had a resignation to his voice, the kind that told me he had given up.
"Oh they'll try, several hundred have over the years Val, but they'll fail, they always do." Through his one good eye he gave me a skeptical look but I was confident, because I'm always totally confident... Yep that's me Mr. Confident... Look just turn the page already ok...
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Scared, Not Really, But Maybe
Over the centuries its funny how people have advanced in kidnapping, but not really. Like in years gone by you used to get put on the back of a horse or tossed in the back of a carriage, now you get tossed in the back of a truck. The method of travel has changed, but the same tactics are there. Put a bag over someones head, shackle them up, and keep guards who don't talk watching over them with a weapon of sorts until you get to an undisclosed location where its cold and quiet. By the time they took the bag off our heads and we were sitting in a stone basement somewhere I did laugh.
"Something funny?" Valrym was not laughing, though he did not have the experience at this kind of thing that I do. At least I don't think he does.
"Oh you know just life, I seem to exist between kidnappings." The dour faced man with a rifle standing near the doorway was not a talker, which is also pretty much the standard for kidnappers, the muscle never talks.
"Well I don't so try not to laugh it scares me."
"Oh what is there to be afraid of Val, you're just collateral, clearly these guys are the reason there is death magic in the city, they'll talk it over with me, something will happen, some people will die, and then I'll come out on top as I always do." The muscle grunted/laughed and I gave him the stink eye. I don't know why these idiots always assume that they'll be able to beat me. It's never happened yet! I mean the only thing that can beat me is the authorities and that's usually because I like to comply with laws... Ok mostly.
Eventually the talky one showed up and I was all ready to start my jokes and veiled threats when they took Val and left me with muscles. I was completely confused! Apparently I had completely misread the situation and I was the collateral kidnapping victim! Which was really awkward got to tell you it was a first for a group of men to take me prisoner but not intend on it. It actually kind of hurt my feelings. No don't try and figure that out it'll just hurt your feelings and I don't want to do that.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Death Magic Daddo
"I thought you had some kind of ability to track magical things, isn't that something you people can do?" Valrym and I had been walking around the city for three hours, I hadn't gotten a solid read on anything aside from the municipalities inability to keep the streets clean.
"I don't like the way you said you people." I had been hobbling around on my crutches, it was extremely uncomfortable, but absent some other method for getting around, it was all I had available. I got a general sense of the death magic, but didn't have anything else to go on, I was literally just stumbling around in the city hoping something would happen. Which is my usual investigative technique for anything if I'm being honest.
"You know magical people like yourself."
"I think that's magicest."
"Not even a word? And yeah tell me how as a shorty I'm being discriminatory towards a magical person who has unnaturally extended his life at the cost of others."
"Well A. don't say that last thing out loud like that I don't need to get arrested you dick, and B. You're not even a shorty you're a weird god off product that just shrunk because your god lost his powers."
"About not telling people about others secrets..." We were standing across from each other in an alley way in the perfect please rob us stance in the history of time. I didn't even notice that both ends of the alley had been closed off by large trucks and we were effectively trapped, I was angry at Val and that took up all of my thoughts at the moment. It was only when the men with guns surrounded us that I knew we probably had more problems than just the one I was being faced with. But hey at least my investigation totally worked! In that we got kidnapped for walking on the street and it turns out these guys weren't even responsible for the death magic. Ok so it didn't work out and I let them kidnap Val and myself for nothing... Looking back it was kind of dumb but hey screw you person who's reading this journal don't judge!
"I don't like the way you said you people." I had been hobbling around on my crutches, it was extremely uncomfortable, but absent some other method for getting around, it was all I had available. I got a general sense of the death magic, but didn't have anything else to go on, I was literally just stumbling around in the city hoping something would happen. Which is my usual investigative technique for anything if I'm being honest.
"You know magical people like yourself."
"I think that's magicest."
"Not even a word? And yeah tell me how as a shorty I'm being discriminatory towards a magical person who has unnaturally extended his life at the cost of others."
"Well A. don't say that last thing out loud like that I don't need to get arrested you dick, and B. You're not even a shorty you're a weird god off product that just shrunk because your god lost his powers."
"About not telling people about others secrets..." We were standing across from each other in an alley way in the perfect please rob us stance in the history of time. I didn't even notice that both ends of the alley had been closed off by large trucks and we were effectively trapped, I was angry at Val and that took up all of my thoughts at the moment. It was only when the men with guns surrounded us that I knew we probably had more problems than just the one I was being faced with. But hey at least my investigation totally worked! In that we got kidnapped for walking on the street and it turns out these guys weren't even responsible for the death magic. Ok so it didn't work out and I let them kidnap Val and myself for nothing... Looking back it was kind of dumb but hey screw you person who's reading this journal don't judge!
Monday, April 27, 2015
Know When To Seek Help
Tasked by a super powered being to find death magic in the city I knew I needed help. Not Hanlon or Valrym, both of them were assholes and I didn't need them giving me some folksy bullshit none answer and then leave me to actually do the job myself. No I figured I'd seek out the authorities, Chandler had asked me for help and it was only fair for me to extend the favor (Xanthi was out of town, and not exactly great with magic, so no go in two ways). I did of course have to find Chandler, I had his card, but I didn't exactly know where his desk was located nor am I great with directions (shocking I know) and with my hip it wasn't like I was super excited to have to do a lot of walking around town.
Thankfully the taxi I hired knew exactly where the office was that Chandler worked at (I guess traffic enforcement for the area was out of the same office and the driver was terrible, which I could attest to street signs appeared optional to this guy). I did have to wait down at the front desk for an uncomfortable amount of time. Why people don't just drop everything they are doing to help me when I do something similar for them all the time is one of lifes great annoyances.
"Lorentino, this better be important."
"It is Detective Chandler, it has come to my attention there is a plethora of an evil sort of magic in the city and I was hoping that you could spare some of your time to help me investigate the cause." He looked at me cross.
"I'm busy and this sounds like bullshit from you."
"It's not I swear, and how would you know what bullshit sounds like from me, you hardly know me!"
"I know you enough that you don't seek out others for help unless you don't want to do it yourself, I'm sure whatever it is that's out there is probably your fault in some way or another and so until it becomes an actual police matter, fix it yourself Trezlan." He left and I cursed his name. I mean sure he was probably right in that this was my fault and not currently an overall problem. But it could be gods damn it! Shouldn't that count for something!??! I swear people complain when I don't get help early to solve issues, and then they complain when I do. People will just complain about everything I do won't they? THE STUPID JERKS!! Not that I ever complain.
This of course meant I had to ask Valrym for help, and that pained me. It pained me because he was actually helpful, and I was able to guilt him into helping because it was his stupid gift that got me in trouble in the first place. HA EAT THAT VAL!
Thankfully the taxi I hired knew exactly where the office was that Chandler worked at (I guess traffic enforcement for the area was out of the same office and the driver was terrible, which I could attest to street signs appeared optional to this guy). I did have to wait down at the front desk for an uncomfortable amount of time. Why people don't just drop everything they are doing to help me when I do something similar for them all the time is one of lifes great annoyances.
"Lorentino, this better be important."
"It is Detective Chandler, it has come to my attention there is a plethora of an evil sort of magic in the city and I was hoping that you could spare some of your time to help me investigate the cause." He looked at me cross.
"I'm busy and this sounds like bullshit from you."
"It's not I swear, and how would you know what bullshit sounds like from me, you hardly know me!"
"I know you enough that you don't seek out others for help unless you don't want to do it yourself, I'm sure whatever it is that's out there is probably your fault in some way or another and so until it becomes an actual police matter, fix it yourself Trezlan." He left and I cursed his name. I mean sure he was probably right in that this was my fault and not currently an overall problem. But it could be gods damn it! Shouldn't that count for something!??! I swear people complain when I don't get help early to solve issues, and then they complain when I do. People will just complain about everything I do won't they? THE STUPID JERKS!! Not that I ever complain.
This of course meant I had to ask Valrym for help, and that pained me. It pained me because he was actually helpful, and I was able to guilt him into helping because it was his stupid gift that got me in trouble in the first place. HA EAT THAT VAL!
Friday, April 24, 2015
Don't Think Of It As Lying
When you need to get a hold of an all powerful being its actually quite difficult. Sure people pray to gods all the time, but they don't actually expect a response. They expect the god to just do what they want in general and not expect to have to give that god anything in return (sacrifices either personal or otherwise have gone out of style, I mean sure sometimes people will use some blood magic here and there, but no one is killing anyone for the gods anymore, which is sad and also good because wow killing someone else for your worship, kind of a dick move, please ignore my hypocritical stance with regards to necromancy because that's not worship its survival, completely different). All of that aside what it meant was when I wanted to ask the observer a question it was impossible to even find a way to begin to ask it something.
I tried painting, but he didn't appear in the painting. I tried asking him to arrive, but he apparently doesn't just show up when you ask. It made me wonder if I even had to find out anything about the death magic problem, or if there was a death magic problem! I even said as much and that got the dumb observers attention. Apparently asking for help means shit, talking like they don't matter, and suddenly powerful entities can't show up fast enough. In a way it was like my none existent dating life.
"You sure you want to go this route of ignoring my request?"
"You sure you want to lie to me about your request! Either I'm dangerous or the death magic isn't!" Yes this was Hanlon's theory, but you know it seemed right. The observer clapped, he clapped like a sarcastic ass when he knows he's been caught.
"Very good Mr. Lorentino you clued in, or were clued in most likely." He paused like to think for a moment, "Right Hanlon, of course he would clue you into my lie, yes I lied you are extremely dangerous and the existence of your harmful application of death magic is causing me problems, there feel better you're all the closer to your annihilation."
"No?"
"Good, as to why I didn't tell you that to start, because I wanted you to identify the source of the problem and not try and destroy me like you are no doubt attempting to formulate right now in your limited dirt creature mind." I was in fact thinking of things I could do to kill the observer.
"So what do you want me to do?"
"Preferably die and take the death magic with you, but I know that's not something that you'll agree to, instead I would like you to find the source of it like I asked you to, and before you hold your hand up and say you don't know how to do that, you know how to do that, you have the ability to track magic you just refuse to because you don't want to actually do what I told you to." I tried to say something back but he was gone. I tell you dealing with all powerful beings is a lot like dealing with an annoying neighbor, you have to be nice because you share a space, but man alive you wish you could murder them and hide them in a swamp somewhere...
I tried painting, but he didn't appear in the painting. I tried asking him to arrive, but he apparently doesn't just show up when you ask. It made me wonder if I even had to find out anything about the death magic problem, or if there was a death magic problem! I even said as much and that got the dumb observers attention. Apparently asking for help means shit, talking like they don't matter, and suddenly powerful entities can't show up fast enough. In a way it was like my none existent dating life.
"You sure you want to go this route of ignoring my request?"
"You sure you want to lie to me about your request! Either I'm dangerous or the death magic isn't!" Yes this was Hanlon's theory, but you know it seemed right. The observer clapped, he clapped like a sarcastic ass when he knows he's been caught.
"Very good Mr. Lorentino you clued in, or were clued in most likely." He paused like to think for a moment, "Right Hanlon, of course he would clue you into my lie, yes I lied you are extremely dangerous and the existence of your harmful application of death magic is causing me problems, there feel better you're all the closer to your annihilation."
"No?"
"Good, as to why I didn't tell you that to start, because I wanted you to identify the source of the problem and not try and destroy me like you are no doubt attempting to formulate right now in your limited dirt creature mind." I was in fact thinking of things I could do to kill the observer.
"So what do you want me to do?"
"Preferably die and take the death magic with you, but I know that's not something that you'll agree to, instead I would like you to find the source of it like I asked you to, and before you hold your hand up and say you don't know how to do that, you know how to do that, you have the ability to track magic you just refuse to because you don't want to actually do what I told you to." I tried to say something back but he was gone. I tell you dealing with all powerful beings is a lot like dealing with an annoying neighbor, you have to be nice because you share a space, but man alive you wish you could murder them and hide them in a swamp somewhere...
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Trust Is Implicit in the Threat
"And you believed him, Trezlan all these years and you still always just assume honesty from creatures that have no reason to be honest with you." Hanlon was seated across from me at Val's tavern, I decided I'd had enough of his weird restaurant choices after the one time we'd been there. Getting a hold of him was pretty easy, I just called his office and he arrived, it probably helped I told them I had a weird issue that only Hanlon could help me with, people are always inquisitive when you propose a mystery.
"He appeared out of a painting, could read my mind, and was clearly magical without being magical, I trusted him." Its not like I could test the observer more than I already did, which is to say I didn't test him at all beyond the obvious "is he here now."
"Death magic though? And he's asking you to find out where the majority of it is coming from? What if its coming from you?"
"I don't think its coming from me, I mean I haven't even necromanced in a while now." My aching hip bone being a prime example of that particular reluctance to use necromancy.
"Could be just your aura, so like everywhere you go your leaving behind the scent of death magic. So this city is now swimming in your aura because you go everywhere here." I gave Hanlon a glare, implying this was my fault was silly, no way I had done this to the city I'd been gone for a bit and then stuck in my room for the rest!
"Sure sure blame me for the obvious death magic issue." He shrugged.
"The question you have to ask yourself is why the creature cares, he mentioned you're not a problem, and then mentions death magic being an issue, so one of these is a lie, either your a problem or death magic isn't, so why lie?" Hanlon raised a good point and he knew he did which I hated because that meant he probably knew more than he was letting on as always.
"You know what's causing this issue don't you?"
"I might have an idea."
"And you won't tell me at all will you."
"Why would I do that? Its not my task to do your job for you." He caught up and left and I was left to fume about him as usual. I swear the more when I talk to Hanlon its like slamming my own dick in a door. I have no one else to blame but myself on this one though, the man has always been infuriating to me and yet when I'm perplexed I return to him like some kind of idiotic child asking dad for help. I guess this is a result of having a poor father figure early in life. Regardless I had at least a hint that whatever was causing the problem was related to Hanlon or it was Hanlon, either way that was at least something I could give the observer. Unless Hanlon was himself also an Observer in which case nevermind that just hurt my brain and I don't want to follow that line of thought anymore than I already did back then when I first thought it.
"He appeared out of a painting, could read my mind, and was clearly magical without being magical, I trusted him." Its not like I could test the observer more than I already did, which is to say I didn't test him at all beyond the obvious "is he here now."
"Death magic though? And he's asking you to find out where the majority of it is coming from? What if its coming from you?"
"I don't think its coming from me, I mean I haven't even necromanced in a while now." My aching hip bone being a prime example of that particular reluctance to use necromancy.
"Could be just your aura, so like everywhere you go your leaving behind the scent of death magic. So this city is now swimming in your aura because you go everywhere here." I gave Hanlon a glare, implying this was my fault was silly, no way I had done this to the city I'd been gone for a bit and then stuck in my room for the rest!
"Sure sure blame me for the obvious death magic issue." He shrugged.
"The question you have to ask yourself is why the creature cares, he mentioned you're not a problem, and then mentions death magic being an issue, so one of these is a lie, either your a problem or death magic isn't, so why lie?" Hanlon raised a good point and he knew he did which I hated because that meant he probably knew more than he was letting on as always.
"You know what's causing this issue don't you?"
"I might have an idea."
"And you won't tell me at all will you."
"Why would I do that? Its not my task to do your job for you." He caught up and left and I was left to fume about him as usual. I swear the more when I talk to Hanlon its like slamming my own dick in a door. I have no one else to blame but myself on this one though, the man has always been infuriating to me and yet when I'm perplexed I return to him like some kind of idiotic child asking dad for help. I guess this is a result of having a poor father figure early in life. Regardless I had at least a hint that whatever was causing the problem was related to Hanlon or it was Hanlon, either way that was at least something I could give the observer. Unless Hanlon was himself also an Observer in which case nevermind that just hurt my brain and I don't want to follow that line of thought anymore than I already did back then when I first thought it.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Codes of Observation
"What could you possibly want from me?" It seemed a good question to the Observer. I mean it could hide completely from sight, it existed in some form where it could tell its picture had been painted, and it was not at all human without a trace of magic on it (I didn't feel any magical power at all from it despite it clearly being some kind of power). The observer seem to be weighing whether it should actually tell me what it wanted, it was unsettling. Like to be in the presence of a creature of this much power, but be completely at its whims was not my favorite thing. Mainly because that's my usual as of late!
"There are rules to this world Mr. Lorentino, you being a rule breaker do not understand them nor care to abide by any of them. Witness your unnaturally long life." I wanted to say something, but he was mostly correct. "The rules as they are have to be monitored for abuse, creatures like yourself are minor transgressions ultimately no more harmful to the overall system, but when the gods don't play by the rules than we have a problem." He laid it out and it kind of made sense, but I did not he didn't really say what the "rules" were and who agreed to them in the first place. I also wanted to point out for being a lesser participant in the system I had killed a couple gods, but I let it slide again.
"So you want me to look in on the gods?" It seemed silly since this creature was itself a hidden being, I couldn't imagine me a very visible hurt being could offer any insight it lacked.
"No of course not, you're a creature of limited means and ability, barely above that of your dirt dwelling companions." This comment hurt my feelings. "What I am concerned with and what you can look into for me since you have a touch of it in everything you do is, is the abundance of death magic in this town."
"And you can't because?"
"Because you owe me for drawing me to this place in the first place, I feel it has something to do with you and I want to know why that is, figure it out before I see you as more than just a minor transgression." He clapped his cane on the ground and then left.
"HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO LOOK INTO DEATH MAGIC ASSHOLE!?" I shouted it to no one because how did he expect me to? I had a gods damned bum leg! But no some weird paint creature wanted me to look into things because rules. LIKE I KNEW ANYTHING! I tell you the worst part about dealing with gods, is that they all act like you know what they are going on about all the time!
"There are rules to this world Mr. Lorentino, you being a rule breaker do not understand them nor care to abide by any of them. Witness your unnaturally long life." I wanted to say something, but he was mostly correct. "The rules as they are have to be monitored for abuse, creatures like yourself are minor transgressions ultimately no more harmful to the overall system, but when the gods don't play by the rules than we have a problem." He laid it out and it kind of made sense, but I did not he didn't really say what the "rules" were and who agreed to them in the first place. I also wanted to point out for being a lesser participant in the system I had killed a couple gods, but I let it slide again.
"So you want me to look in on the gods?" It seemed silly since this creature was itself a hidden being, I couldn't imagine me a very visible hurt being could offer any insight it lacked.
"No of course not, you're a creature of limited means and ability, barely above that of your dirt dwelling companions." This comment hurt my feelings. "What I am concerned with and what you can look into for me since you have a touch of it in everything you do is, is the abundance of death magic in this town."
"And you can't because?"
"Because you owe me for drawing me to this place in the first place, I feel it has something to do with you and I want to know why that is, figure it out before I see you as more than just a minor transgression." He clapped his cane on the ground and then left.
"HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO LOOK INTO DEATH MAGIC ASSHOLE!?" I shouted it to no one because how did he expect me to? I had a gods damned bum leg! But no some weird paint creature wanted me to look into things because rules. LIKE I KNEW ANYTHING! I tell you the worst part about dealing with gods, is that they all act like you know what they are going on about all the time!
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