Almost Got Away with It, Almost

It takes a special kind of asshole to take vengeance for someone you hardly know for a crime they were probably completely guilty of and deserving of punishment for. But I am that asshole. I just can't let someone win. Its not in my genes. I just don't like when someone who is bad and should feel bad, gets away with something. Call me crazy, it just bugs. I realize of course saying this after I've admitted to killing people to establish my cred as a mob boss doesn't come across as particularly fair, but what can I say people who kill people get to make the rules for how they are judged (mostly stupid court system not understanding the Lorentino rule!) Also I just couldn't truck with someone getting away with something. It seems like the universe should punish you for trying to get away with an obvious thing (ignore again all the times I get away with things, the universe loves me to suffer so it lets me do things from time to time). So with all that in mind, this is how I arrived at the house of the police commissioner in town shortly after faking my own death.

I benefited of course by everyone in town at Leland's house fire. I mean you can't shoot at your own house, have it be burned down, and not get authorities up in your grill about it (officially it was listed as a party gone wrong, I kid you not). The commissioner was alone, no family, no friends, just an old man in a pretty house living out the rest of his days alone, in a way killing him was a mercy. Or at least that's what I told myself. For his part he seemed to be expecting me.

"Was wondering when you'd come calling." He had a pistol on me, which was smart, he didn't shoot me when I came in the door which was not smart. I blew up the pistol with a wave of my hand and he crumpled to the ground blood leaking out of the shredded stump.

"You can't do what you do and expect to live, you can't arrange a mob war and expect no one would get hurt, I got hurt and I wasn't involved at all." He was done, I just left at that point, he screamed and I didn't care. In a way it was a nice irony a weapon he'd pointed at me ended up killing him, it's kind of like that dead body of Corine got him in the end.

And thus ended my nice fishing trip, I mean sure I'd caught some fun things and had some good times on the road, but turning into a mob boss and faking my death is exhausting. Also the fish smell, good lord it never leaves when you don't take normal showers/baths, but mainly the mob boss thing.

Gunfire Is A Rotten Wake Up Call

I think I have some kind of bad luck with regards to being woken up rudely. Throughout all my life there seems to be a set pattern for being woken up rudely. I've been blown up, shot at, water dumped on, stabbed, mind screwed with, I think I've been woken up badly by just about every method there is, I've never had the nice ones I've read of in stories or had nicer people talk about. No it's always the bad ones. Which is the way of saying that shortly after my discussion with the cops I was awakened by a roar of gun fire from down stairs. And when I say a roar I mean a literal roar. There were at least twenty five people down stairs opening fire on the house like it did something bad to them. It was stupid there weren't even bed rooms down there! Poor house all getting shot up to make a point to me, it wasn't even my house, they shot up Leland's house.

"Get out here Lorentino." It was Leland I should have known the moron would shoot up his own house and turn on me for turning his family around. It was one of those "I should have seen this coming because people are weasels, Pavarossi's much more so." Well and I did see it coming, it was part of that whole letting you walk before you run thing I was doing for Leland. So while I was angry the gun fire woke me up, I was not sad that he decided to kill me, he had to do this to reestablish himself as the prime player. I was also just upset he ruined my nap.

I'll admit I was of two minds, I was thinking maybe I should go out there kill the crap out of Leland and then take over the family for my own nefarious needs... (ok not always so neutral...) And the other one was to just leave town. While being in charge of my own mob family was fun, it was exhausting and would most likely lead me to another lengthy prison stay which I'd rather not do. So I skipped town. I burned down Lelands house of course, but I skipped town on top of that.

Of course I had a back up plan out of that house (it's called burning down a wall, so ok the house burning down was just like sort of an accident, but I totally did it to cover my own death). Unfortunately I couldn't totally skip town yet, I had to get vengeance for a man I didn't know for a death I didn't cause but sort of got blamed for. Look I'm weird you know this.

Ok So Now I am a Criminal But Before

The big problem with reforming a crime family is that no one believes they are dangerous once again. Like once you've reached the level of being a joke in your town or sphere of influence people aren't exactly afraid when you come calling. Well not initially anyway. To rehabilitate the Pavarossi's image we had to go mean, violent and brutal. Sure killing three people in my organization helped a little bit, but that just kept my own idiots in line. I needed the other groups in town to fear the group and not just me leading it (I knew I would not last if I stayed in the family, so I had to make a lasting impression and leave as soon as possible, it was the smartest move). So that ruled out just burning some shit to the ground and calling it good (see I was sort of nice) it did mean I had to unfortunately destroy some peoples property and call in some hits on people to remind them the Pavarossi's were not to be messed with.

Thankfully Reggie's memory gave me the right people. Well "right" in this case meant involved, see I couldn't kill the people directly involved because that's not the proper method for dealing with people who have wronged you. No you have to kill their underlings thereby telling them that you know that they did something, and then they try and kill your underlings in response and only after you rebuff that then can you finally sit down and discuss normal everyday things with them. There is a system you see! A method to my madness!

Unfortunately when I had some people killed the people who arrived at my door were the crooked cops who had sold my ass out in the first place thus dragging me into this whole sad conflict! Its like the circle of suck finally completed. I do have to laugh the detective who initially suspected me was at least surprised to see me open the door at Leland's house.

"Can I help you gentleman?" I knew the cops were coming, they were dirty and it didn't cost much to get information on them. My boys were back down the hallway with weapons just in case things got dangerous.

"The fisherman? What are you doing here?"

"Moved on to catching out of private ponds."

"Right, is Leland home?"

"Leland is away on family business I'm watching over the place in his absence."

"Kid you think your tough I get that, and you may have killed Corine, but this is big boy stuff step aside I need to talk with Leland."

"Detective unless you got something legal in your hand, you aren't coming in to this house and hassling my family, and since I know you don't, screw." He had a whole squad of cops with him, I appeared to be by myself, but he left, because he knew that I knew he didn't have anything and was just coming to mess with us (it's crazy how fast I took on all this mob stuff, I mean I'd have been afraid if I didn't do all the good things I never write about that totally makes me not sound like an awful criminal...)

So with the police dealt with and the Pavarossi's back to being feared I was able to walk way and hahahaha yeah that's not at all what happened. You know nothing ever goes as planned in my life! Ever! Like not even a simple dinner plan!

Cut Backs

The accountant was a short man with a balding head and a a bushy mustache. He arrived in a suit worth more than he earned in theory in a year and was quiet. Which made sense, I had two of the bigger guys collect him in the middle of the night and deliver him to me sitting behind a desk, I'd be quiet too if I knew I was about to get executed. He'd been skimming blatantly his entire time he'd been working for the Pavarossis it made me wonder if he was actually working for another family, hence why I drug him in instead of just killing him (it was weird how easily I took to being a crime boss, I swear I'm a good person... ok neutral person, but like good neutral...).

"Reggie do you know why I called you here?" Leland had basically conceded his whole organization to me, it was funny how quick he was to turn it all over, I don't think he was cut out to be in charge of anything, another example of how bad the family was run.

"I knew you'd want to eventually, you need me to show you how the books are run." I laughed, the two large men with me laughed, Reggie did not laugh.

"No Reggie I wanted to know who you are working with?

"Who I'm working with?"

"Yes Reggie, you've been taking money from this family, and I want to know if it was to line your own pockets or someone elses, don't bother denying it I know how to balance the books unlike you." He started to sweat, I could sense the fear from him, and he had good reason to be afraid, I'd already had two other failing family members killed earlier. What can I say I took to crime way way too easily.

"I ain't working for no one." He was defiant in the face of his own doom I appreciated that having been on his side of the desk one too many times myself.

"Sure Reggie sure, and I'm sure you figured out how to scam all on your own, but the part that's confusing me is who and why someone wanted Corine dead, you're too dumb to do it on your own, but someone on the inside here needed to help and you were the most likely candidate based on being stupid enough to get involved."

"You can beat me, I won't talk."

"I appreciate your loyalty to your true employer, boys leave the room please." The men left and I got up from my desk and made my way over to Reggie. "The problem you and he are going to run into Reggie, is that I'm not Leland, and I also have ways of getting information from you that don't involve you talking." He was about to say something in return when I laid a hand on his jaw and sucked the life right out of him. His memories were scattershot and boring for the most part, Reggie had lead a life of average loserdom, screwing ugly prostitutes and find himself a pawn to more powerful men. He at least knew the person behind Corine's murder so that was useful.I clapped and the boys came back in.

"Tell it to me straight you're like a vampire right?" One of the boys whose name was Lyle had seen me kill an earlier man similar to Reggie.

"Lyle play it straight and you'll never have to know, now destroy the body we got work to do." The boys removed Reggie's corpse and I sat back behind the desk moderately sad. Over the years I'd lost my humanity in a variety of ways, but this mob stuff was taking it from me in the worst one, having fun at being bad. Ok I wasn't really sad then I was actually happy I was in charge and doing the killing, but still looking back... Nah it was way too fun being a bad guy. Sadly all things like that come to an end, and this one did too. Eventually, there was still a lot of bloodshed along the way, read on!

You Run This Group?

The Pavarossi's were a mess. A literal mess in how their properties were run, and a figurative mess in how their organization was run. Like I've never run an actual criminal enterprise (allegedly...), but this group seemed completely in ruin before they were even attacked. Like they didn't have a good accountant, or any accountant, they just had some guy who said he was good with number who couldn't seemingly add two things together. They thought they were making a profit, but in fact they were making a loss on nearly every project they were involved with mostly due to people in the org ripping them off (shocking from such a well run group...) In fact the Pavarossi's were so incompetent it had me wonder why anyone would scheme to destroy them, they all seemed perfectly on the way already.

What this meant unfortunately was that I had to literally become in charge. Like I said I ran a crime family, but I actually did that. I took over and ran an actual crime family. In a way it was like running a normal business. Just the sources of revenue were a bit more overtly criminal as opposed to borderline criminal like my usual business practices (err I mean my completely legit business practices). At first I was a bit out of practice since I hadn't actually run a regular business in a while. So some mistakes were made (mostly about what was and what was not worth actual money, I tell you back in the day fresh milk was a gods damned gold mine, stupid refrigeration changing the way the world works...) but ultimately within two weeks I was able to at least give the business a semblance of things working correctly. Unfortunately that meant that some of the under-performing mob personnel had to be let go. And in this case let go meant killed. Which was a lot easier than when I had to fire people in the past.

Yes I'm a terrible person you don't have to tell me that its bad to appreciate killing people instead of hurting their feelings by firing them I already know.

A Failure in Parenting

"First I thought Nidget died a couple years after I got sent to prison." As always what I really wanted to know is what I got wrong with history. Its a sticking point I forget and remember all the time.

"Faked his death to avoid you, or that's what he told the family." It was so nice to have him drop his mob tough guy act and just tell me straight. Its funny so many people put on appearences to make themselves look tougher when most of the time they are decent or at least not awful people.

"Makes sense although unnecessary from the amount of time I spent in prison." The boss's name was Leland, a call back to the earlier Pavarossi I'd dealt with, I didn't tell him that assuming he either knew, or if he didn't best not to tell him.

"Why did you kill Corine did he piss you off?" Leland had a look in his eyes that told me he didn't kill the guy I was accused of killing either.

"I didn't actually kill him, I literally just fished him up." Leland looked even more depressed now.

"So that means someone is setting up my family for a war," He sighed and I swear to god he started to cry, "You have to help me Trezlan! We can't win against the Tolaci family someone is setting us up!" And now you know how I kind of sort became a mob boss for a bit. I think somewhere Nidget was laughing beyond the grave that I ended up having to run his mob family, though he might have been laughing that there was a mob family anyway. I guess it was a bit of a step down from being an emperor as he always claimed.

Anyway this was one of those wacky adventures when it was all said and done I wished I'd never fished up the dead man to begin with!

The Problem with Geneology

At least they were prompt. I guess when you're in the mob you have other more important things to do than let people wait around for you. Well the modern version of organized crime does, the older less modern version would have you wait days before they interrogated you. I guess just like fast cars, assholes have sped up their routines.

"You're brave kid I give you that, not smart, but brave." I am endlessly amused people think of me as a young man, you have no idea.

"What can I say I have a mind beyond the years on my face." The truest thing I've probably ever said.

"Still though pissing in the face of the Calibarries is dangerous, walking about town trumping that to everyone who will listen is equally as stupid, me I love a good dangerous guy, but not one who will get me killed."

"I don't see how my actions will get you killed Mr.?"

"Pavarossi." I damn near choked, none of these people were shorties, and I didn't want to believe somehow someway Nidget had mated with a regular sized person, it didn't seem like something the gods would allow.

"You're a Pavarossi? That's blatantly impossible, they were all shorties." His face got extremely red, I heard one of his men in the back take in a sharp gust of breath, I didn't realize it at the time, but I had just said the worst thing I could possibly say to this man.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" He was extremely angry at the implication his family came from lesser stock, even if it was obviously true. The person he should have been mad at was clearly Nidget and whatever lady of the night he laid down with that produced none shorty children. In the face of upsetting a mob boss by implying impure parentage I did the one thing I could think of, I doubled down.

"Might want to send the kids from the room dad if you are afraid of the truth being heard." He slapped me, very very hard. I fell backwards on the chair and he sent his men from the room, which is what I wanted.

"Is that because of your shortie blood you hit so weakly or it something else in your bloodline that makes you hit like a dancer?" That got his blood up, I heard him rack the slide on a pistol and I knew it was my time to act. I burned my cuffs off and heated the pistol up in his hand causing him to drop it on the ground. I rose from the seat and snatched him by the throat murder fully in my eyes.

"What do you want?" Previous bravado and anger was gone, this Pavarossi was not at all like Nidget.

"Some gods damned respect for a man who saved your dumb shit ancestor from being killed, two of them to be exact." Now this may have not been one of Nidget's progeny, but I took a guess and figured he probably was and I was right.

"Trezlan Lorentino? How you can't possibly be him." I knew Nidget would tell his dumb children to fear me, or at least respect me.

"Nidget would have told you people how I made it this far in life, and you would have been best listening to him." I let go of his neck.

"Tell your men you're fine, and we'll talk, go for your gun and you'll see Nidget sooner rather than later." He did as he was told and we talked. Well I want to say he talked, and I listened, but that goes without saying right? Right. Turns out as I suspected I found myself in the middle of a mob war, unfortunately for me it was a war no one knew who started, or what anyone wanted, so the best kind.