"So I have no idea where we are going." I felt like killing Nidget wouldn't get me anything, but the satisfaction of the action would at least be worth it when my final moments came. We had at least gotten beyond the desert and into a swamp like region which didn't seem like one should be next to the other, but I'm not some kind of environmental person I have no idea.
"I couldn't tell Nidget, what with your charging ahead 'I know where I'm going' the whole time."
"Well that was to give you a feeling of confidence, I'm completely lost, I don't even know what continent we are on."
"I hate you so much right now Nidget."
"There it is, now this a proper adventure with a Lorentino." I was about to tell him where he can shove his adventure when we were stopped by another hooded cloaked fellow.
"WELCOME TO THE SWAMP OF MISERY."
"Let me guess your name is Ralph." I figured we'd get this started right.
"Oh god you guys ran into Tommy didn't you?"
"Yeah a couple weeks back."
"How did you wind up here, like if you were going for civilization you are way off." I scowled at Nidget, but at least the keeper of the swamp of Misery was nicer than I expected.
"Nidget's an idiot."
"Say no more, come come along lets get you something to eat."
"I thought you said this is the swamp of Misery?"
"Well I get pretty lonely and only half mad people dying of thirst normally swing by, so I put on some theater for them sue me." I wasn't going to find fault in someone being nice to us in this weird place, but I have to say the Swamp of Misery was pretty nice eventually. Maybe it just needs better marketing.
Monday, June 5, 2017
Friday, June 2, 2017
So Stuck? Horilarious
We didn't end up killing Carver either. Ultimately she was just as pathetic as Tommy, she vowed to reform herself, but we didn't really care either way. We did manage to take some money from her (we're not good people) and I got some new clothes that fit in more with the time period. Of course I was hoping Trezlan would come get us, but alas he was busy doing Trezlan things, so we were lost in the middle of gods knows where, during who knows when? Like this was a really bad situation for reality in my opinion. But I didn't know anything really! I didn't even know if where we were was real, and not just Trezlan screwing with us.
So outside of the cave of not horrors the rest of the area we were in was fairly desert. Nidget said it felt like his home which was also a desert, and that didn't make me feel better. I also didn't feel super smart we didn't think to bring water when we left stupidly. I suggested we go back and rob Dr. Carver of her water, but Nidget vetoed that as he said it would make us look like idiots. So dying of thirst was the preferable method!
At least Nidget seemingly knew what he was doing. I had never been this alone in a survival situation ever. In the war we were hunted but it was mostly in the ruins of things, there was stuff to scavenge. This was the wilderness, an empty waste! Completely different for me in so many ways! I figured Nidget would at least know where he was going. After two weeks almost dying... HE HAD NO FREAKING IDEA EITHER! YES IT TOOK ME TWO WEEKS TO FIGURE THIS OUT! HE WAS LOST THE WHOLE TIME!
So outside of the cave of not horrors the rest of the area we were in was fairly desert. Nidget said it felt like his home which was also a desert, and that didn't make me feel better. I also didn't feel super smart we didn't think to bring water when we left stupidly. I suggested we go back and rob Dr. Carver of her water, but Nidget vetoed that as he said it would make us look like idiots. So dying of thirst was the preferable method!
At least Nidget seemingly knew what he was doing. I had never been this alone in a survival situation ever. In the war we were hunted but it was mostly in the ruins of things, there was stuff to scavenge. This was the wilderness, an empty waste! Completely different for me in so many ways! I figured Nidget would at least know where he was going. After two weeks almost dying... HE HAD NO FREAKING IDEA EITHER! YES IT TOOK ME TWO WEEKS TO FIGURE THIS OUT! HE WAS LOST THE WHOLE TIME!
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Seriously? You Guys are Jerks
"Can you just skip to the point before you go into your big blah blah I'm evil speech?" Nidget had apparently seen this kind of thing before. The hooded man I swear to the gods legitimately looked sad at this request!
"NONESENSE THE GREAT TOMMY DEMANDS YOU ATTENTION!" Nidget and I just started laughing.
"Tommy? Seriously this is your big evil name?"
"What? oh like you two assholes are so superior." The pretense of things was dropped, the poor man just wanted to be big and spooky and here he was saddled without about the most unspooky name ever. Like I guess like Little Timmy would be unspookyer, maybe.
"Yes I'm sorry Tommy please continue." Nidget and I couldn't even keep it together to tell him to keep being all evil.
"No, not until you guys show me more respect, I'm a big evil conjurer! I demand your respect!"
"You had some fleshless monkeys and like an evil bitch helping you, that's not exactly like super hard."
"Those were straight from your nightmares! I CONJURED YOUR NIGHTMARES!"
"Ehhh, I'm not afraid of monkeys, and Nidget's not afraid of fleshless things, its just two things that were kind of annoying put together." I could see him getting angrier, I kind of felt sorry for him, though he did try and kill us, just really poorly.
"Leave, just leave, I'll unlock the door just get out of here."
"Well not without the money." Tommy looked at us like we were the dicks in this situation.
"THERE ISN'T ANY THIS IS AN ILLUSION!" He dispelled the money with a wave of his hand, "NOW GO!" Nidget and I decided it was best to just leave, you know let Tommy be alone for a bit.
"Should we like go back and kill him?"
"Nah, I mean he's probably someone elses issue, and this is the past right? We might mess up something in the future if we kill Tommy back here."
"But we are killing Carver."
"Hell yeah we are." Because screwing up time only partially applied to getting vengeance.
"NONESENSE THE GREAT TOMMY DEMANDS YOU ATTENTION!" Nidget and I just started laughing.
"Tommy? Seriously this is your big evil name?"
"What? oh like you two assholes are so superior." The pretense of things was dropped, the poor man just wanted to be big and spooky and here he was saddled without about the most unspooky name ever. Like I guess like Little Timmy would be unspookyer, maybe.
"Yes I'm sorry Tommy please continue." Nidget and I couldn't even keep it together to tell him to keep being all evil.
"No, not until you guys show me more respect, I'm a big evil conjurer! I demand your respect!"
"You had some fleshless monkeys and like an evil bitch helping you, that's not exactly like super hard."
"Those were straight from your nightmares! I CONJURED YOUR NIGHTMARES!"
"Ehhh, I'm not afraid of monkeys, and Nidget's not afraid of fleshless things, its just two things that were kind of annoying put together." I could see him getting angrier, I kind of felt sorry for him, though he did try and kill us, just really poorly.
"Leave, just leave, I'll unlock the door just get out of here."
"Well not without the money." Tommy looked at us like we were the dicks in this situation.
"THERE ISN'T ANY THIS IS AN ILLUSION!" He dispelled the money with a wave of his hand, "NOW GO!" Nidget and I decided it was best to just leave, you know let Tommy be alone for a bit.
"Should we like go back and kill him?"
"Nah, I mean he's probably someone elses issue, and this is the past right? We might mess up something in the future if we kill Tommy back here."
"But we are killing Carver."
"Hell yeah we are." Because screwing up time only partially applied to getting vengeance.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Fire So Cold It Burns
"What is that anyway?" We had dispatched the flesh monkeys easily enough if only grossly. I had taken to using the cold flame as more of a sword than just throwing it. Nidget was of course intrigued by it.
"Cold fire, its the only magic I know."
"Trezlan never taught you his necromancy?"
"I didn't really know him for long, he just arrived, declared he's a god and then disappeared, on top of that, I don't want to learn his stuff, its terrifying."
"Made him a god."
"And he used that power to send us to the past and get us stuck in a trap."
"Point taken." The creatures had stopped for now. I could sense it wasn't exactly over, but I had no reason to believe that, just a feeling. Clearly whatever had killed the people before was a lot more powerful than some fleshless monkeys. With no other options we kept going forward, figuring there had to be a way out or a way to stop whatever was inside, or failing both of those things perhaps treasure to bait the trap? The last one was Nidget's belief, but I couldn't find fault in his logic.
From the initial assault area we moved further down into the ruins. The walls of bone cave way to the more traditional stone work. Wall paintings probably in blood depicted something, but I didn't understand the language and Nidget apparently didn't speak it either so we both could just look at and try and interpret the writings as to what it meant. It looked to be some kind of ritual, but for what? Couldn't tell you. We ignored the writing and kept going down because that seemed like a really good idea!
Past the blood writing we came to an altar and I'd be lying if I wasn't surprised there was gold and jewels all around it. Like wow Nidget was actually correct. Of course immediately upong entering the chamber the doors slammed and a man in a hooded cloak showed up. So we had fallen for the trap, but honestly we were kind of there anyway? So yeah, fun times were indeed ahead!
"Cold fire, its the only magic I know."
"Trezlan never taught you his necromancy?"
"I didn't really know him for long, he just arrived, declared he's a god and then disappeared, on top of that, I don't want to learn his stuff, its terrifying."
"Made him a god."
"And he used that power to send us to the past and get us stuck in a trap."
"Point taken." The creatures had stopped for now. I could sense it wasn't exactly over, but I had no reason to believe that, just a feeling. Clearly whatever had killed the people before was a lot more powerful than some fleshless monkeys. With no other options we kept going forward, figuring there had to be a way out or a way to stop whatever was inside, or failing both of those things perhaps treasure to bait the trap? The last one was Nidget's belief, but I couldn't find fault in his logic.
From the initial assault area we moved further down into the ruins. The walls of bone cave way to the more traditional stone work. Wall paintings probably in blood depicted something, but I didn't understand the language and Nidget apparently didn't speak it either so we both could just look at and try and interpret the writings as to what it meant. It looked to be some kind of ritual, but for what? Couldn't tell you. We ignored the writing and kept going down because that seemed like a really good idea!
Past the blood writing we came to an altar and I'd be lying if I wasn't surprised there was gold and jewels all around it. Like wow Nidget was actually correct. Of course immediately upong entering the chamber the doors slammed and a man in a hooded cloak showed up. So we had fallen for the trap, but honestly we were kind of there anyway? So yeah, fun times were indeed ahead!
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
In Sacrifice of the Dark
"So spiders?"
"No monkeys."
"Bullshit no one gets sacrificed to monkeys."
"I was more hoping, I'd love to fight some god monkeys." Nothing had attacked us yet, but it let us come up with what could attack us. I did want to fight some monkeys, if only because I'd only ever really seen them in books and never in reality yet, and I so wanted to fight some.
"Well I just don't want it to be flesh monsters, far too bloody, you hear me creatures in the dark? Have some gods damn skin."
"I agree skin would make things easier to deal with." I did find it mildly alarming Nidget had a preference and a reason for that preference. But you know somethings are best left unsaid.
"So we're killing Carver when we get out right?"
"Totally, like not even letting her explain, straight to the murdering."
"Agreed." Just then we were attacked by fleshless monkeys. So what I wanted, and what Nidget didn't want. The universe as always was a cruel mistress.
"No monkeys."
"Bullshit no one gets sacrificed to monkeys."
"I was more hoping, I'd love to fight some god monkeys." Nothing had attacked us yet, but it let us come up with what could attack us. I did want to fight some monkeys, if only because I'd only ever really seen them in books and never in reality yet, and I so wanted to fight some.
"Well I just don't want it to be flesh monsters, far too bloody, you hear me creatures in the dark? Have some gods damn skin."
"I agree skin would make things easier to deal with." I did find it mildly alarming Nidget had a preference and a reason for that preference. But you know somethings are best left unsaid.
"So we're killing Carver when we get out right?"
"Totally, like not even letting her explain, straight to the murdering."
"Agreed." Just then we were attacked by fleshless monkeys. So what I wanted, and what Nidget didn't want. The universe as always was a cruel mistress.
Monday, May 29, 2017
Suspicions Naturally Growing
The inside initially was straight horror, bodies, and parts of bodies splattered everywhere. It looked like they had all stacked up at the door hoping to escape before it was sealed, which conflicted with what Dr. Carver had told us. I found myself distinctly aware I didn't have my swords, or any sword, and really wished Nidget would lend me one, but he apparently kept his weapons his own.
"You said you locked yourself away?"
"I meant I locked the site away, just misspoke." Nidget didn't seem convinced and I shrugged, maybe she panicked? We had gotten inside, just past where the door light was fading when I noticed Carver wasn't next to us, she had moved to the door.
"Good luck you two!" I tried to throw some frost fire at her but it was too late the door slammed shut and I heard the chains and such being reattached. The metal had all sorts of runes on our side so I knew even my magic would probably not work against it.
"Why do you think she shut us in?"
"Because we're a sacrifice Nidget."
"You don't know that, maybe she's just afraid of what's in here and like figured we could handle it and..." With the door shut we could see more in the room, the ambient light highlighed the walls were made of bone and written in blood on the ceiling was "Welcome to your death."
"You were saying."
"Yeah we're fucked."
"You said you locked yourself away?"
"I meant I locked the site away, just misspoke." Nidget didn't seem convinced and I shrugged, maybe she panicked? We had gotten inside, just past where the door light was fading when I noticed Carver wasn't next to us, she had moved to the door.
"Good luck you two!" I tried to throw some frost fire at her but it was too late the door slammed shut and I heard the chains and such being reattached. The metal had all sorts of runes on our side so I knew even my magic would probably not work against it.
"Why do you think she shut us in?"
"Because we're a sacrifice Nidget."
"You don't know that, maybe she's just afraid of what's in here and like figured we could handle it and..." With the door shut we could see more in the room, the ambient light highlighed the walls were made of bone and written in blood on the ceiling was "Welcome to your death."
"You were saying."
"Yeah we're fucked."
Friday, May 26, 2017
Dr. Carver, Survivor
"So I know Nidget he is well was a well known thief."
"Hey... well at least you knew me."
"But who are you other than Trezlan's grand daughter? Some kind of doctor from your clothing and lack of weaponry?" I hadn't realized the prisoner outfit of the future would look like a doctor outfit of the past.
"I'm a soldier, or I was I should say, the outfit is more that I was a prisoner."
"Oh? What did you do?"
"Killed some people for not being just." Carver's eyes looked down.
"Oh." I couldn't read her, whatever association I had with justice had been severed since Nidget took me to the portal.
"I'm not a murderer really, ok I am sort of, but its a recent thing I used to fight machines." I could tell from her look Dr. Carver wasn't really on board with what I was saying.
"Well I believe you! Besides its not like I haven't done some ethically questionable things myself, I mean when the rest of my team was dying I locked myself in a chamber and didn't let anyone else in." This was meant to reassure me and Nidget, it didn't really. We stood there awkwardly not saying anything for a bit after her revelation.
"So treasure?" Nidget of course spoke up.
"I'm not sure really, we were just starting into the chamber when whatever it is attacked."
"You didn't see what killed your fellows?" I suspected Carver was holding out on us, but I had no way of proving that.
"Nope, aren't you excited to see what's beyond this door?" I hadn't even noticed the door, it looked pretty evil with runes and other marks on it. I did notice chains as well, just a lot of bad stuff.
"Can we?" But she already broke the seal on the door and with it kick started our super fun adventure. SUPER FUN GUYS CAN YOU TELL I'M NOT BEING SARCASTIC!
"Hey... well at least you knew me."
"But who are you other than Trezlan's grand daughter? Some kind of doctor from your clothing and lack of weaponry?" I hadn't realized the prisoner outfit of the future would look like a doctor outfit of the past.
"I'm a soldier, or I was I should say, the outfit is more that I was a prisoner."
"Oh? What did you do?"
"Killed some people for not being just." Carver's eyes looked down.
"Oh." I couldn't read her, whatever association I had with justice had been severed since Nidget took me to the portal.
"I'm not a murderer really, ok I am sort of, but its a recent thing I used to fight machines." I could tell from her look Dr. Carver wasn't really on board with what I was saying.
"Well I believe you! Besides its not like I haven't done some ethically questionable things myself, I mean when the rest of my team was dying I locked myself in a chamber and didn't let anyone else in." This was meant to reassure me and Nidget, it didn't really. We stood there awkwardly not saying anything for a bit after her revelation.
"So treasure?" Nidget of course spoke up.
"I'm not sure really, we were just starting into the chamber when whatever it is attacked."
"You didn't see what killed your fellows?" I suspected Carver was holding out on us, but I had no way of proving that.
"Nope, aren't you excited to see what's beyond this door?" I hadn't even noticed the door, it looked pretty evil with runes and other marks on it. I did notice chains as well, just a lot of bad stuff.
"Can we?" But she already broke the seal on the door and with it kick started our super fun adventure. SUPER FUN GUYS CAN YOU TELL I'M NOT BEING SARCASTIC!
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