I was sneaking up on Lorissia, she was still sleeping on her back, her bow was propped up behind her head and I could not see the short sword she called a dagger. It was mid morning, the fire was just smouldering embers. Just about when I was standing over her I felt that dagger touching my genitals.
"That's close enough." She said in a growl.
"There's a large snake about to strike you." There was, looked venomous to me (venomous you know having venom with which to inflict on a strike, as opposed to poisonous that being something you ingest, this is a tip on proper word usage THAT EVERYONE GETS WRONG!), and it had advanced on her while we slept (thank whatever luck I have that it went after her, with how soundly she sleeps I'd be eaten before she woke up).
"Yeah I've got the snake problem handled right now, can't say how large it is honestly," A dick joke, she dare make a dick joke at this venture! I jumped back from her (during which she almost cut my bag open and I don't mean the one I hold anything in if you catch my drift) and launched a bolt of fire at the snake, it hit and incinerated the little bugger right before it would have bitten the crap out of Lorissia. She turned to see it with a start.
"Wow there really was a large snake, do you think its poisonous?" YOU SEE YOU SEE!!!
"Well I don't know never been a big eater of snakes, now could it have been venomous? Probably." She gave me a sour look (I always got sour looks from Lorissia, in a way it screwed up my level of attraction, the more someone dislikes me, the more turned on I am). We gathered our supplies in silence (I collected the snake to have a leatherworker make something out of it for myself, this disgusted Lorissia naturally). The border crossing was easy again (I miss those days of just jumping over the invisible line in the dirt), and soon enough we were on our way to the town of Lork (so named after their first ruler Lork I, at the time of our visit they were up to Lork XIIII, I haven't visited Lork in a long time, so I don't even know if its around anymore, or what version of Lork they are up to). Despite being near the border to Ronerawth, it avoided the conflict entirely, I guess on a account of it just being a town for gambling and other debauchery, no one wants to attack the fun places.
Eight bars (six of which have ladies of the evening you may purchase for a good time), four advertised houses of borrowing (with more obviously filling in the gaps in the unadvertised sense), and ten gambling houses. Lork had more places you could spend and lose money than any other service. Housing was mostly temporary flop houses for employees or people hoping to make it rich with few actual houses interspersed. The city was laid out like a big box with individual streets making up the center of the box. The cheapest places were on the outside the more expensive contained within. Some of the interior streets and locations even had guards standing outside of them to prevent rif raff from getting too close to high rollers. The bar we were looking for was the The Blooming rose (with a picture out front that reminded me less of a rose and more of, well not a rose). Lorissia and I tied up our horses at the hitching post and went to go inside the two goons out front held us at arms length.
"Whoa no way you can come in." I looked over at Lorissia figured the armor and weaponry was definately a no go and was about to tell her I'll only be a moment when I saw the direction of the gazes were on me.
"Wait what's wrong with me?"
"You clearly don't have any money, your lady friend is welcome, you'll have to stay outside, perhaps try the Gold Stumper up a couple streets." Charlatans!!! Lorissia gave me a smile and told me she'd get back to me if she saw the guy (hard to miss him, short, balding, missing the top row of his teeth and yet he'd be surrounded by ladies). I stamped back to my horse and sulked. Later on in my life I'd buy the Blooming Rose and burn it to the ground, I'm hella petty.
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