Greatest Plan? Or Greatestest Plan?

You'll be amazed at this plan, absolutely amazed.  This plan it was simple genius, it looked at something impossible, found a way to make it possible and achieve my goal.  Honestly I should keep this plan to myself, I don't even know if I should write it down, because then you might use it for your own whatever, should you find yourself in my shoes somehow (I'd hope not, because I like my shoes and you should stay out of them). And now that are you are about on the verge of anger (also known as the Lorentino Zone), I'll let you in on the grand plan.

See any large ship at sea will need food, especially a large ship with a person who fancies himself a fairly powerful figure.  Turns out that the councilman's ship got a lot of food, shipped in daily through a lot of seperate vendors.  And while the ship itself may have been a fortress of fortresses, the food shipping places were fairly easy to break into and slip into one of the crates bound for the ship. Yep, you read that right, I snuck on board in a food crate (I guess they didn't even bother to check them because frankly no one would be crazy enough to attack a councilman in the first place, let alone this one, let alone by hiding in a food crate to do it!)

And so in a move that I'm sure is a metaphor somewhere, I snuck aboard my enemies ship disguised as food.  The greatest plan I've ever come up with!

So You Are Saying Its Not Easy

"The ship has artillery around at all angles, its surrounded by smaller ships that are similarly armed and the guards are rotated often. This time of year the water in the bay is cold enough to kill you if you are in it for more than a few minutes.  And the surrounding dock area is also guarded and staffed by the elite of the Red Hand military." Morley and I were staring at a map of a bay, it was included in my information packet on my target, one of the more reclusive members of the Red Hand council, indeed he was thought to be a God in some circles do to his long lifespan and damn near impervious nature to assassination attempts (his life previously had been attempted twenty times).

"I'm getting the feeling you are saying this will not be as easy as I hoped."

"Do you really like your store and people that much? I mean they'll all be dead eventually, why delay the inevitable?" Morley of course offering his usual strong moral stance on things.

"Are you going to help me or not?"

"Help you what? Kill yourself? Look Trezlan I figured maybe they wanted you to pick off one of the newer dumber guys, maybe even a lesser guy, but they want you to go after THE guy, and honestly this is the kind of thing you just walk away from, thats what I plan on doing, I'll just disappear for a bit, let this whole thing blow over." So after tying him to me, he just cut the rope and off he goes.  That's Morley for you, he's only there until he finds a way out, or a way to screw you over.

"Forget it I have a plan I'll get in there, get this done and be a hero to everyone who doesn't know I did it." I gathered up the maps and made a move to leave, Morley grabbed my arm.

"Don't do this you idiot, you can't win, you'll die, and as someone who doesn't like you very much, even you deserve better than to die like they'll kill you."

"Touching Morley." I brushed his arm off and made my way out of his house, it had of course started to rain.

"I will not remember you Trezlan, I hope whatever they do to you REMOVES YOUR MEMORY FROM EVERYONE!" The shout was from his door, I guess he didn't care what people thought of him (well obviously he was clearly Morley still). I should have known back then that Morley would be of no help whatsoever, I figured maybe he had some secret something or other that would save the day.  Turns out he just had his ugly old self and the only secret was how he keeps from disolving every mirror in his house while being so ugly (IN YOUR UGLY FACE MORLEY!). I wasn't lying though, I did have a plan, it wasn't a great plan, or even a good one, but it was a plan and thats enough to keep me going on something stupid (sometimes not even that!). And tomorrow I'll go all about my daring plan to assault a ship in the middle of an armed harbor surrounded by warships.  I'm sure you'll be amazed at my ability! Well either that or you'll laugh really hard, win win for me anyway.

Morligations

"No." Morley had opened his door looked me in the face and that was the response.  He didn't even wait for me to talk!

"At least let me come inside first." I had forced my way in because I knew Morley most likely wouldn't kill me in the street (most likely).

"Get out of my house, get out of here in general, I don't want what you are selling."  Morley stayed at the door it was open into the street, at least it wasn't raining outside.

"I'm not selling anything this time! I'm giving you an opportunity to do something bigger than yourself!" I was, I mean killing a councilman is amazing thing to be apart, or it was, now they are all dead after summary execution, but back then they were something!

"I've heard this speech before, but not from you, usually someone who has a get rich quick scheme, for some reason I have a feeling you are not trying to make me money."

"Not directly, but there could be a substantial sum of money we could aquire when we finish." Looting the dead, a time honored tradition of murderers everywhere.

"I already have a substantial sum of money, or do you not notice my house?"

"Look you owe me."

"I don't even want to know where you get that particular belief from, I'm sure it will be equally as silly as your normal rationalizations."

"I need you to help me kill a councilman Morley, if I don't do it I'm pretty much dead."  He stood looking at me with a dead stare (his normal, but this looked even deader than normal).

"You stupid arrogant son of a bitch!" He attacked me, the entryway to his house was kind of a small corridor and I hadn't left it, so it made it really easy for him to lunge forward and pin me to a wall his hands wrapped around me throat. He was squeezing really hard, which seemed silly for a couple magic users to be locked into physical scofflaw, but when you are mad you kind of throw caution to the wind.

"We can work this out." I squeaked out my response, I didn't want to hurt Morley, because I needed him, but it was looking like he was going to actually kill me, and that interferes with my whole currently living thing. He let go, but looked to be about to attack me again but thought better of it.

"You realize now you disengenous fool of a man that I'm linked to your plan whether I wanted to help you or not, and now even if I toss you out they will come after me if you fail or succeed."  He was talking through his teeth, like I didn't see his mouth move but I heard the words spit out like a pistol.

"It crossed my mind yeah." I straighted myself up, my throat felt really too small and swallowing hurt just a little.

"I hate you so much Trezlan."

"Feeling is mutual Morley, but I need you, and that makes me hate you even more."

"At least we have that going for us, ok, who do you need to kill?" And so the two necromancers who hated each other came to an agreement to murder someone powerful.  It was beautiful really, in that its really awful and calling it beautiful is a mockery of the word.

A Murder, A Murder of Stupidity

Ok so I won't go over my hatred of river delta politics, some day I will but that day is not today (because its my go to threat, if you know me I threaten people all the time to divulge them of this petty and long winded complaint). So I'll set the scene I was cold as all get out from having taken a bath in a running stream close to night time (not like doing it during the day is any warmer, but you know whatever), trying to stand next to my fire to warm up when I decided to look over the details of who they wanted me to kill. A councilman! A freaking Red Hand, God's upon this earth, COUNCILMAN!

So I screamed, I raged, I stubbed my toe (which caused more rage though vastly more local and immediate).  I was so angry I didn't even notice I was no longer alone.  Yes I'm a huge child, I got mad enough to ignore the group surrounding me.  They were dressed in plain clothes, looked like a group of travelers, except for the weapons they all had out, which spoke to assassins hiding in plain sight (or farmers who really liked the quiet, I rolled the dice and figured more likely assassins).  Fighting naked is hard, fighting naked without a weapon, a stubbed toe, and chilled from having a dip in an ice cold creek? Even harder.

No witty lines, no calls for coming together or anything, I just ran for my sword and they rushed in to fight. I could tell from meele weapons over fire arms these were most likely Red Hand assassins (because the Red Hand just never ever gave up the ideal that fire arms were beneath them).  How they had found me, or knew that I was after them is probably because Ronerawth had a traitor (or intentionally leaked that I was after them, see they tell The Red Hand I'm coming that way if I succeed they tried to warn their "ally").  Either way I didn't have a lot of time to figure out their motives, I was a little busy not dying.

There were six of them, all coming in at different angles.  The first one to reach me got to me just as I got my sword.  He was not very competent with a blade (not that I'm that great, but I've had some training in all my years), and I was able to diarm and gut him with no problem (for a brief moment I wondered if they were just simply farmers with weapons).  The others were closing the gap fast, but I'm a user of fire, that just meant they were getting close to a not so obvious trap! See the thing with using an element is that when there are other things of your element nearby you have a plus as it were.  I've seen ice users shred entire forces in a rainstorm, which is to say that a group of men approaching the campfire of a fire user, not exactly a great idea.

The flames rose up and over them like a sea of death, they screamed briefly and then their charred corpses were all that remained (for those keeping track I was let out of prison for not committing murder to then directly kill 6 people, politics!). In hindsight murdering them with fire wasn't the greatest idea, because any proof of why they were there was destroyed (woops), also the smell was terrible.  If you've never smelled roasting bodies, consider yourself lucky. Its a way of saying I moved on fairly fast, didn't even bother to put out my fire (thankfully I didn't hear about some huge brush fire that destroyed blah blah blah, not like I really cared, but you know all this collateral damage might come up some day).

I made my way north again (I hated having to go to Red Hand territory but it seemed like thats all I freaking did anymore, I honestly started thinking of just living up there for the inevitable need for me to return).  I knew I needed the help of Morley, and I knew he was going to make me eat so much shit (hopefully not literally but you never know) for asking, but if anyone knew how to kill someone powerful and get away with it, it was Morley (aside from me, though he's mocked me before by saying that I'm not worth his time to bother killing, clearly he's probably read of my exploits, self burn!) Plus at the very least I could possibly drag him into it by value of me showing up on his door step, so you know win win.

At Least It Wasn't My Fault

It had been a week, my stomach was sour from eating prison food, my bowels did not like the commnity bathroom hole I was having to go at, and my clothing was starting to stink from not being able to change it (because being polite to prisoners has never been a thing in any society I've ever seen). So prison was not treating me well.  Needless to say when I was brought out of my cell to "face my accuser" I was a little angry (and lets not forget I was accused of murder, how the hell could I face my accuser? I supposedly killed him!). I got even more angry when I was brought into a room opposite members of the Ronerawth Royal Guard, I was about to walk back out when the door slammed shut behind me.

"Sit down Mr. Lorentino." Two of them, both around the same height, ornate pistols on their right hip were there only visible weapons, but I knew from experience ornate or not the pistols were very much working weaponry. They were both standing (obviously since I knew they were the same height) in the middle of the room was a large wooden chair with shackles on the arms (I was already shackled so no worry about getting reshackled), from experience I knew that kind of chair was used for extra punishment, I could see some of the stained blood on the back to reaffirm that point. The statement was not so much an invitation as a command, so I sat as ordered.

"I take it this means I did not kill anyone." Got to start with the obvious.  The man who spoke (he was on my left so he'll be lefty, not that righty talked, but still they get names!) looked to his compatriot and shrugged a little.

"Not yet, but if needed you will have." Implied threat right out the gate, I could tell this was one of those conversations that go over so well.

"So what do you want from me?"

"You're help, but we also have to maintain your silence something we are aware you are not good at."

"And so if I talk about helping you I get tossed in a cell."

"Executed."

"Executed fantastic, so my next question, what can I do to help you?" When you're beat you're beat, there is nothing to do but just lay back and hope they don't kill you.  This is also my strategy for sex any ladies reading this journal.

"Right to the point the Emperor has been poisoned, and will die if we can not cure him."

"I'm not a healer, nor an apothecary though I do know a good one..."

"We do not need your healing Lorentino, thats being taken care of, what we need is retribution."

"You both seem capable enough, go get your retribution." Honestly I'm not an assassin and I really wish people would stop thinking I was.

"This can't be connected to Ronerawth, and while you are sadly somehow considered a citizen in this country, you are not associated with us especially not with the Red Hand leadership." I should have known this was a Red Hand thing, most things associated with me and prison normally were.

"I'm really feeling the love here." Righty went to the door and knocked on it, two other Ronerawth royal guards showed up, one unshackled me, the other handed me a rather large knapsack.

"Everything you need is in the sack, including a map and some money to get you going, be aware if you flee we'll burn your shop down and kill all of your employees." This will make me an awful person but I honestly considered running for a few brief hours... I left the prison area, making a brief stop at my shop to inform them I was going on a journey and to swap clothes (I was under the impression I was not forbidden from doing either of those things and seeing how they didn't kill my shop workers and burn the building down, it apparently was fine).  I was out of town and in a small makeshift camp near a river (to wash off naturally) before I even looked at who they wanted me to kill, and when I did I exclaimed so loud and so hard I'm sure every creature around heard it, but I cared not because I would have rather been killed than set on the task I was.  What was it? Who did they want me to kill? Well maybe I'll tell you tomorrow! Or maybe I'll launch into a tirade about the trade restrictions on river deltas! You never know with this journal!

The Politics of Murder

"You're under arrest." Five of them all dressed neatly with guns pointed.  I'd been in back in town for a couple weeks, honestly that I got arrested shouldn't have been a surprise, that I'd gone this long without being arrested should have been a shock.

"Usually there's a charge for that." I know what little rights are accorded to people in these times.

"Murder." Shackles now, the real kind, guess they knew I was a magic user.

"I guess saying I didn't kill anyone recently wouldn't sway your decision to arrest me right?" Notice how I said recently, because lets be honest I'm a murderer unrepetent at that.

"If I were you, and I'm thankful I'm not I'd keep quiet." I'd met the captain of the guard once at a function, he seemed like a nice enough guy, Garian or something like that? At least he was offering advice though it was at the point of a partial insult.  They had caught me at the shop (caught in this case being showed up armed and asked for me specifically) before I left I made sure to tell my staff to keep things running (by this point they pretty much did things without me anyway, its why you train people well, then they don't need you to hold their hand all the time/lets you sleep in). They had a horse cart waiting outside for me, I told them I could walk but they insisted.  From there I was taken to the guard house, still in my shackles and tossed into a cell.  At least I was by myself, even if the cell didn't offer any kind of privacy (bars in all directions not actual walls).  The only furniture was a bolted down bench.  I laid myself upon it and waited for whoever would come to explain my crimes.

You know its sad how routine me being locked up for killing people is!  I mean you would think at this point with my acts of heroism (right we'll call it that) should I happen to kill anyone it should be seen as a good thing! I mean I'm hardly ever wrong, well recently in like the last two hundred years, that first hundred was excuse the pun, murder on my morality.  All of that is to say that I knew I'd probably get convicted locked up and hopefully let out so I could live on, there was the worry I could be executed, but despite Ronerawth being all "Rarrr we hate crime." They really only had a hard on for executing traitors, not just jerks like myself. So if you have to committ a murder, do it in Ronerawth, they most likely won't execute you.  Well unless you killed the emperor, than they'll make sure you suffer forever.  See you've learned something now haven't you!

All of that was to explain that I sat on my ass for a week eating poor prison food and being visited by my assistants to ask for advice on very minor things and they were really coming to see how I was holding up but didn't want to admit it.  And at the end of the week... Well things changed, as they always do for me, and you know the drill turn the page read tomorrows entry etc etc.

You Gotta Believe

I made my way through the empty city following faint tracks in what looked like a long not really traveled area (there was so much dust it was like a real world representation of my own mind).  I kept spinning around with the torch to see if anything was following me, but there was nothing.  No sounds, no growls, no gurgles or plops.  Just a long abandoned creepy stone city covered in sigils with tracks dragging most likely Valrym deeper in.  I did see where it looked like the thrall had been called from, next to where he was cooling his heels was the dessicated corpses of other previous thralls, much like everything else in the empty city it looked like they were undisturbed for years. Have you ever been in an empty underground city formerly filled with evil creatures? No? Its really creepy.  Almost as bad as having to fight your entire way in killing anything and everything in your path, at least then you know what you are getting into.

So I tromped through the tomb of a city until I reached an altar, on it was Valrym tied in usual sacrificial fashion.  Standing over him was a shadow, I mean that literally, it was a shadow given form.  One of its arms was twisted into a blade, most likely to sacrifice Val (or I dunno shave him, you can never tell with shadows given form). When I arrived the shadow which had a sort of face in that there were gaps where a mouth and eyes should be seemed to perk up.  I couldn't tell if it was because he was waiting for me, or just happy to see someone else.

"And your champion arrives." Voice was empty like so many other creatures in the dark, it was like wind blowing leaves.

"Just kill him Trezlan, do not listen to it."  Valrym offering the wise choice in a decidedly wisdomless scenario.

"Trezlan? Lorentino? You are no champion of the earth god, you are known to us and those like us, be gone pretender we await his followers." I guess my reputation as always proceeded me.

"Can't, here to complain about some bad beer, gave me a nasty headache." As I always say kids, better to be a jerk than well liked.

"You are not the champion you are not warranted here! We need the champion, we need the followers! When we destroyed our enemy we destroyed ourselves! Look around at the ruins of our malice!" It made sense, if gods can lose power when they are no longer believed in, couldn't also their villains? I mean if you kill the hero and all who know of him, what would become of his foe when there is no one left to torment. "The earth gods are not dead, their avatar is here, they will worship again, we will become rea..." Turns out fire works pretty good on crazy old villains of dead gods (and they say where there is shadow there shall be light, damn it I should have said that when I killed him).

"Thank you for not taking all day, he's been talking none stop since they drug me here." Valrym looked no worse for the wear, though who's to say how that works with avatars of gods?

"So now that he's dead does that mean you disappear?"

"Don't be ridiculous you idiot." Have I mentioned how thankful Val is for saving him? Yeah he's not.

"So that's two you owe me then?" I helped him out of the bindings and passed him one of my few remaining torches.

"That sword is worth more than anything I could ever owe you."

"So two then?"  His pace quickened and I made sure to hurry, I don't know what had constructed the underground city, or how sturdy it was, but I wasn't about to be left down there to get collapsed and left with the buried ruins of a dead shadow entity.  Valrym and I didn't speak on our way out, nor did we speak on the way back to town.  I gathered my things got my horse out of boarding and made my way back home, it had been a lesson on what curiosity does to you, but I did at least find out where the sword came from.  So there was that, which didn't make up for all the crap, but you know sometimes you have to take what you get.

I Assumed There'd Be Evil

Now I know you are probably a smart ass and wondering why I said I was bringing torches with me yesterday (if you are not a smart ass then this will be a regular explanation without indignation). Yes I can conjure fire, but maintaining conjured fire enough to keep a cave system well lit is about on par with those clowns in the park who balance an object on a thin pole (if those people have been eliminated in your time thank the gods this reference went over your head).  Its just difficult and entirely unneccessary when torches are built for this exact thing.

Anyway semantics aside I had my torches lit and started to make my way into the big scary cave of doom.  Which looked like a regular cave, albeit it with some weird markings outside in a language I didn't understand (though I did try and duplicate them as best I could with some paper I had available, what can I say I'm a scholar of evil). Once past the intial mouth of the cave (which looked recently unearthed, so apparently Valrym either neglected to tell me he closed the cave anyway, or nature had done it for him), it was a tight squeeze getting inside, but once inside it was fairly open and easy to navigate. I mean wide open, this cave was gigantic.  I could see the remnants of battles past as Valrym had informed me of, though they looked very ancient compared to how they looked when he'd seen them last I'm sure.

Outside of the ancient rusting weapons though? Nothing. A huge empty cave thats all I saw.  I was constantly expecting my torch to come across some new ancient horror only spoken of in madness tongues! Only to not find any of that at all, there was nothing in that cave except empty.  I felt on edge as I ventured deeper in waiting for this darkness city I'd seen in the thralls mind, but as I delved deeper and nothing was there I started to wonder if Valrym had made up this ancient enemy or something. I mean I'd fought the creatures, so they were at least partially real, but why had they not attacked after defeating the earth gods and their people? Who kept this threat at bay? It was the question on my mind as my first torch burned itself out and I lit up another just as I came across the entrance to the city.

It was as I had seen previously a massive stone thing underground, covered in the runes I'd seen above it looked like it had been molded from the earth not constructed.  I was on a cliff overlooking the structure and it was staggering.  Though again I noticed nothing down there, I know it was technically "the darkness" that was my enemy, but you'd think they'd show up in the light right? So there I was decending into a city of the darkness not actually being able to see the enemies I'd set out to destroy and starting to wonder if I hadn't drunkenly dreamed the whole thing up to begin with. Or as I like to call it, tuesday.

Take Me Down to Darkness City

I got up with a bit of drool on my lip,a splitting head ache (either from the necromancy or the beer), and feeling like I ate something I probably should never have eaten ever (I figure it was probably from the guts on my face).  I was glad that someone either hadn't come into the Flagon Slayer to see me cuddling up to a corpse (not because I care, I just don't want to have to explain things to guards, because they never really listen to me as I have mentioned many times in the past.) Also covered in slime is not my favorite look, not my worst mind you, but I much rather prefer to be fully cleaned up when I'm going to be facing a new victim/friend/person who's going to try and kill me. Again thankfully though no one came in. I was able to clean myself (swap to different clothes shave a little bit) basically be presentable to all those people I was planning on having to kill (look I'd love to talk my way out of things but we both know that never ever works).

Unfortunately the information I ripped out of the vessel was mostly just geographic.  He didn't know much of the darkness, he was only an empty shell that had been filled to accomplish a task.  All I really got was where he came from and how to get back there.  Which was more than I had to begin with.  I also knew that he came from some kind of underground city, which was terrifying, bad enough to be in a cave, worse still to have to go door to door in some stone prison city trying to find Valrym and avoid whatever the hell is down there.

I gathered some extra supplies (I know crazy right me actually preparing I'm a man of contradiction), mostly just food, torches, and a lot of flammable liquids (you never have enough things to burn creatures with). I also boarded my horse, because the darkness wasn't that far away (not much of a surprise that Valrym was living near the entrance to his old foes, in fact I bet thats why he chose Rosetia to keep track of his enemies).  So I had a full pack, a full belly, and was full of myself.  I was all set!

Blah Blah Evil Blah Blah Blah

"Champion? You must be confused, I'm just here for a drink." Despite being covered in the fluids of one of his creatures like most things in life denial is my first response.

"Do not lie to me champion, you are here to fight us as your kind has always done, though you are dressed differently from the others." I guess not wearing armor, being a beacon of light or having a group of other people behind me clued him in I'm not the usual.

"Let me guess you're an evil guy here to be evil with his evil and you'll blah blah blah, my bones, or yadda yadda yadda my corpse and in the afterlife you'll crush my I don't even really care anymore!" I gathered up my rage at this whole day and scorched pale faces compatriots, it was actually fairly easy.  I guess like a shadow when exposed to the light darkness tends to fade away.  All the same I was well past the point of giving a care about what the current group of people claiming to want to hurt me were really going to talk about anyway. The creatures he brought with him pale face turned to me with a bit of a shocked look just in time for me to grab him by the throat and hold the earth sword slightly above his eyes.

"I won't talk, you can torture me all you want!"

"Honey, hush." Bad guys always assume they are the worst evil that was ever evil, they are wrong, and like most things in life there is always someone worse than they are.  In this case that was me.  See I try and be a good person, but when I'm pushed I go to the limit, I burn down villages, I kill families, I do everything bad people do because I am a bad person. See thats the real secret to how I win, its not luck and complete happenstance, its a willing to go that extra mile to be badder than whatever you are facing. In this case it was willing to use Necromancy on whatever this pathetic creature was. Ordinarily you want to avoid just using magic, especially destructive life sucking magic on something you don't understand, but I'm not exactly a careful kind of guy. With a jolt of energy pale face went from a living person to a dessicated husk in no time flat (yeah when you do flash angry necromancy thats also something that happens, though this person was also more of a flesh puppet than a real person, still had life and memories but not much of either).

Unfortunately as is the case with brute Necromancy the shock also hit me dead on. Flashes of imagery flooded my brain as well as the raw energy of whatever kept this puppet dancing. I didn't get much of a complete picture, but I did get a destination, a nearby cave that looked to lead to some kind of city.  My mind overwhelmed from the raw power of it I collapsed next to the remains of my foes, as I drifted off to sleep I distinctly remember thinking "I wonder if this is the worst mess that's ever been in the Flagon Slayer" and I was in the dark.

Where Are All the Guards?

Whenever I commit a crime there is always some kind of guard, or passerbye or witness, or something there to see me.  I don't know how it is, and its not like I'm normally intending on committing crimes and take care to not have witnesses or authority figures nearby (no no not me I'm honest). The opposite happens when I get attacked, accosted, kidnapped, bamboozled, or otherwise inconvenienced! I'm actually of the belief that the guards are in on this! Universally if I'm in trouble they are never there ever! All cities, all countries in this world leave me alone. Like I exude some "Someone might kill him this time aura."

This is all just to explain how I fought in a major city with two creatures of darkness and not a damn person helped! I was propped along the wall my sword held loosely my vision slightly blurred from the hangover/just waking up. The creatures were stark naked, their bodies were covered in scars almost like they'd been stitched together from other beasts from down below.  The one obvious feature I had to watch out for were claws, on all four of their appendages.  The alleyway was somewhat narrow, which played into my strength (that being a two on one loses some of its advantage when the two have to attack from the same area), but from the looks of the claws they probably had some kind of poison or other nonesense on them, which put me at the "if I get cut I'm dead" playing field. I also had the earth champion sword, which as I'd already seen, cut through these guys like butter, and of course I use fire like some people have bad gas.

The sword was in my left hand, with my right I gathered some power.  I didn't have to wait very long for the attack, the one on the right lunged forward its teeth snapped as it launched itself in the like a dog trying to bring down a larger animal.  Its lunge my have been scary to someone who was perfectly sober and hasn't faced worse, but not so for one Trezlan Lorentino (don't know if I should be sad or happy about that statement). A burst of fire threw off the lunge, and a quick sword thrust to his midsection split open his intestines coating me in a bit of black goo, the creature howled as the sword impaled it (probably from the touch alone). The body collapsed behind me, I turned my attention to the remaining creature which was not waiting to be tagged in before it tried to claw me to oblivion.  It opted for a straight thrust of those claws hoping the guts of his comrade would blind me, obviously he knew nothing of my abiltity to be coated in the guts of my enemies! With a simple parry I cut off the claws and since its thrust brought its head forward I was able to swing wide and behead the beast before it could make another move (like a kick with its freaky claw feet).  I heard its teeth clicking in its head as the cursed thing hit the ground with a slump.

I had to move, outside of just murdering two things (which again despite them trying to kill me is hard to actually explain to a passing guard) I knew that Val was in trouble and I better check the Flagon Slayer for a lead or something (maybe he left another note? I didn't know he was somehow able to get me the first note!) I was also hoping he had something to clean up for me, because I could start to smell the remains of what I'd just killed and damn was it ever nasty! I made it inside the Flagon Slayer just in time to run across a man standing with two more of the creatures I'd just killed.  The man looked a little bit like Morley, although ever pale as a corpse looking person always does in my mind.

"Champion, good of you to join us, after all I'd hate for you to miss your funeral." And that's where I'll leave you, again me facing odds not in my favor.  But as I showed earlier, more numbers is just more of an opportunity to win! Or something, I dunno I've been trying to have more positive thinking as of late, its not helped at all, but I do find myself smiling like an idiot more often.

Trezlan Lorentino Vs Small Child

Yes I lied about the title of todays entry, no I don't feel bad about it.  I'm a liar, have you not read the other entries? Besides this one is less wordy and more to the point. I was pleasantly passed out drunk in an alley, just minding my own business (as much as one can be while passed out in an alley) when I felt someone poking me.  Now for anyone who's ever spent time drunk in public this is usually some kind of authority telling you to move along, so any kind of threat or unkind word can end badly for you.  At the same time you are still probably a little drunk possibly hung over, so kindness is not paramount on your mind when rudely awakened in an awkward sleeping position where certain things hurt more than others.

"Are you an only child?" I inquired of the poker not knowing at the time they were literally a child.

"No no no no sir I have a brother." Small dirt on his face, not unlike hundreds of little street urchins in every city I've ever been in.

"Keep poking me and your brother will become one." He stopped nudging me and I propped myself up on the wall I'd been using as an unsuccessful pillow.

 "I have have have have have..." His stutter seemed to be one of fear, he also could have just had one because he was a dumb little urchin child they all seemed to have one kind of vocal problem or another.

"Slow down use words." The boy swallowed and tried again, failed, and ended up handing me a letter and running off. I'll have to say it wasn't the oddest way I've had mail delivered, but it was one of the more obnoxious. Honestly I prefer mail to be left on my door step so I can retrieve it at my leisure, not poked and handed it by some obnoxious stuttering child before he runs off (if you are keeping track of my preferences I prefer also to be awakened by the smell of food). The letter was a simple fold piece of paper with only a few words on it.

-Captured by Darkness, need help

I didn't need to be a mind reader to know it was from Valrym, now how he got the message to a child will go down in mystery, or how the child managed to find me as well.  What did not go down in mystery was what was standing in front of me when I lowered the letter.  Val's description of creatures of the darkness was kind of vague, but having seen them with my own eyes it was obvious where they came from (and again having fought a few monsters in my own day).  I figured they probably could feel the sword even though it was dangerous to them, or perhaps they followed the child on his errand as he sought out whoever he was after.  All the same they were standing in front of me and I was still slighty drunk.

"Are you guys only childs?" And the battle was on.

Back to the Failure

"So thats the big sad story, you made a sword some people used it, died, and then in the end you retreated?" I had been a couple pints in to Val's story so I can admit my language a bit harsher than called for.

"I'm glad that of all the things I told you, this was your take away from it." Valrym really shouldn't blame me, he was the one supplying the beer, this was as always not my fault.

"Why not just make another sword? Why keep going after the same one at great risk to yourself?"

"It was the principal of the thing Trezlan, the sword was a symbol." I was swinging the sword around kind of lazily, I could see in Valrym's winces he really did not appreciate it, which had me keep doing.

"A symbol of failing to kill your enemy repeatedly and losing those you sent to do it?"

"We didn't always lose you inconsiderate," He grumbled and then gathered my mug, "You know what, get out, take that damn thing with you and be gone, and don't come back! I tire of you necromancer." I wanted to protest, but honestly I'd gotten what I needed and then some (including free beer! Everything goes better with free beer, I could hear you murdered my whole family and still feel better with free beer, of course it helps I don't have a family, but still). Valrym shooed me out of the Flagon Slayer and slammed the door behind me, I could hear a latch setting in and figured that was a bad way of winning customers, but moved on in my drunken glory.  I was actually a bit more drunk than I had at first thought, which lead to me collapsing and passing out in a nearby alley (thankfully aside from the sword I'm sure I looked just like any other vagrant, which is not to comment on how I normally look or anything...)

Sadly my drunken slumber was set to be interupted before I fully got anywhere with it, but thats a tale for my next entry, an entry I will title "Trezlan and the Annoying Jerk Who Doesn't Understand Don't Bother Me While I'm Sleeping" I'll admit its a bit wordy.

Darkness Wins Again

Now I'm sure you're wondering why these champions of the earth gods fought underground as opposed to just fighting on the surface like normal people (and thus legitimizing the fear of the things underground and strengthening the belief in what was going on?) Well first because once you let the creatures out of the dark places then they can take over more.  Secondly they tend to stick to those caves because they don't like light. Third they are the freaking earth gods not the regular land gods, fighting in open fields would go antithesis to being of the earth! Lastly you might be wondering why not just seal the caves? Because then they can sit there and breed where you can't see them and emerge when and where you don't know where they are (on this point I can surely attest it doesn't matter, but Valrym was pretty serious about it).

And so it came to be that Valrym the avatar of dying gods set foot in a cave of his enemies to retrieve a weapon on the hope a champion would come.  Valrym was dressed in heavy plate mail of his own construction, etched with different magics over the years (mostly for protectiong, wearing attack runes is a good way to get yourself blown up). He also was weilding his large hammer, because he never was much one for swords (despite making the weapon himself). The cave was massive and strewn with the last of the earth champions, it had been a failed offensive five years prior that had sent them down there, one last go at it to try and score a blow for everyone else that went disasterously (and now you are going to wonder why the darkness has not risen up and killed us all? Don't worry I say thats coming sadly). 

The bodies of the soldiers were partially eaten and rotting, the entire cave was a testament to death.  The creatures of the darkness were no where to be found, not even their bodies.  Valrym had seen them eat their own dead in some kind of bizare cannabilisistic ritual. The soldiers hadn't even made it in very far, Valrym long suspected there had been traitors in the order, the creatures of the black were always ready to stop the Earthen soldiers as of late and this offensive had been especially futile, as if they too knew that a loss here would destroy their former enemy.

Val found the sword next to the last champion to wield it, his body was propped against a wall, the sword laying next to him probably where it fell when he died.  There wasn't a sound in the caves, no creatures were stirring.  Val considered it lucky most of the time he himself had to fight his way into these caves to retrieve the sword, but even their enemy seemed to be at ease for once. Valrym took up the blade and sheathed it, his task complete he turned around and came face to face with the spectre of a man. It wasn't a person, made no mind to hide that, the features were all wrong, eyes in the wrong place, mouth all messed up, arms and legs all of different lengths.  No clothing either, overly pale skin marked with all sorts of nasty marks and sores.

"Avatar you came to collect your sword again? Will you send another champion soon?" The creature twisted its head around while speaking and then turned it back again, it was alarming to say the least.

"We have no more champions left to send." Valrym was tense, he didn't see others of these types of creature, but the Darkness was a tricky beast and deception was always on the menu.

"A shame, you were a good enemy, will you die with your gods I wonder?" The creature talked normal despite its appearence.

"No I will not, and eventually I'll come back down here and end you all."

"Doubtful," The creature smiled its ugly red yellow teeth stood in contrast to the rest of it, "You are welcome to try though, keep the sword it hurts those who try and take it, and be gone these places are not for your kind." The creature turned to leave, Valrym thought he could kill it while its back was turned, but there wasn't any point.  He was there for the sword, he got the sword, and he knew it was just a good idea to leave before things got worse.

And so the sword returned with Valrym where it sat gathering dust until he stupidly gave it to a necromancer as a reward for saving his life from another necromancer.  Fun story right? I tell you this one kills at parties.  That I don't have and I'm not invited to, but the parties in my mind? People love it.

An Unwinnable War

Lots of people claim to fight the "darkness".  Its normally a creed meaning you fight corruption, bad people, and demonish creatures not like an actual thing.  But for Valrym, the darkness most certainly was/is a real thing that he has fought, continues to fight, and will probably die to some day. I didn't know this but when the God's came into being (on this he is sketchy or outright lying, I can't tell for sure but he made it sound like one day he was nothing and the next the squat little jerk face I hate today) they all had a task assigned by their believers.  For some its easy (like being the god of love you are supposed to encourage people to have sex, probably the easiest job next to the god of bad decisions, they probably go hand in hand) for others like Valrym he was created to protect the deep places of the world, and the deep places as he said are full of damn evil.

Yeah it seems much like how gods are created so are the horrors of the world.  You ever tell a child "be careful of this monster?" STOP DOING THAT! Apparently it creates the damn things wholesale if Valrym is to be believed, and as someone who has fought similar creatures I'm really tired of having new nightmares fight my old nightmares to become mega nightmares. So the earth gods and Valrym as their Avatar (yes I said gods, back then there were multiple, not so much today) were tasked with fighting the Darkness.  Each victory over evil was more reason for their believers to trust in their ability to fight it and so the gods got stronger. Which seems like a good thing until you realize no belief lasts forever, while evil is ever lasting, and so their foes got stronger but their victories fewer which weakened their support base (well that and Valrya murdering Valrym's believers like no ones business but honestly by the time that happened they were already pretty beat up).

The gods were not idiots though, they could see their power waning and their avatar getting weaker. So they did what anyone would do, they turned to their followers and asked for help (I mean what good is being in charge when you can't actually demand something of those you are leading).  And so the champions of the earth guard began.  A group of warriors lead by a man wielding the sword I now have in my possession (so you can already see how successful they were) the sword imbued with the power of the earth gods initially scored victories and believers soared.  But again you are fighting a war against darkness and you can't win that ever.

Over the centuries the champions won and lost battle on battle, Valrym the gods avatar aided these people as he could, but he alone as before could not defeat the darkness and so the champions eventually fell as all heroes must.  The sword remained a beacon, aquiring it back after a hero fell became a story in of itself for each champion, a kind of testing ground to see how worthy they were to wield the blade. Sadly as I said before, it was a losing fight. Every time a champion fell there were less champions to charge into the fray for next time.

It was shortly after Valrya murdered most of the remaining followers of the earth gods that Valrym was tasked with retrieving the sword by himself.  His gods that were basically his parents were dying, their lack of followers combined with darkness overwhelming them in their own realms had lead to one final task, retrieve their weapon and wait for a day when it might see use again for the right reasons (so I'm sure whatever afterlife gods get, they are fuming its in my possession). And that tale, the tale of the final time Valrym fought beneath the earth, is one I will tell. Tomorrow naturally, I have to string you along little journal. Its what I do!

Plenty of Evil Underground

"I'd almost forgotten I'd given you this." Valrym was swinging the sword around, he was quite proficient at twisting it like a parade baton, whether that translated to actual ability with a sword is anyones guess.

"Until you noticed it was gone?"

"No, everytime you touch it I get a feeling like someone walked over my grave, so I can thank the gods you are as terrible a swordsman as you are a person." Valrym stopped swinging the sword and inspected the blade, probably looking for nicks and damage from me using it improperly (which seeing what I do with it, is most of what I do).

"You're joking right, one of those statements done up for comedic effect?" I'd heard of a personal connection to items, but not one that actually could sense the wearer or their intent, sounds like a horrible thing.

"Nope, you see part of this sword is a part of me, so when the wielder is a terrible person like yourself, well its like you are constantly holding my finger." In a way that was actually a bad thing to admit to, especially to a dick like myself.  Even now I find myself touching my sword more often if only to anger Valrym (know thats not a euphemism).

"So what's this thing made of, just your pure essence." I said pure here really sarcastically, like dripping, like I should write that funky to imply how insulting I was when I said pure.

"Funny, know its made of a metal that you can only get deep deep underground, places I'm sure the people of this world will find and the dangers there in soon enough, though probably by accident, blowing something up to strip minerals from something they should leave alone."

"What's the worst they could find down there?" I say this having found a lot of horrible awful things underground.

"Judging from recent use you've found some of them, though I swear its like you are using this to pry open jars, have you heard of simple sword maintenance before?" He went behind the bar and produced a cloth rag and some oil.

"You wouldn't believe what I've been up to."

"Mostly because you lie all the time Trezlan, people like you should be believed half of the time and doubted the other half." Hurtful, just hurtful.

"Still haven't told me where that sword came from or why it was made." Yes I realize now I said I'd explain the story and instead I totally just lied to you (see proving Val's point even to myself).  Look I forget these stories and I think they are important too ok! Its not all swords and monsters!

"Fine Trezlan you can be the loremaster of this particular shameful period, someone should at least know..."  And tomorrow I promise I'll retell the story of the creation of my sword! I promise I won't put if off like last time.  Or all the other times I haven't told you the fun stories.  See at least you didn't know about those ones!

Return to The Flagon Slayer

Rosetia, it had been years since I'd visited the land of my rebirth as a necromancer (I mean I was a necromancer, stopped being one after I got sent to prison, and became one again when I killed my master... look I have a rationalization process down pat). Partly because I didn't visit cities in my feeling sorry for myself while the world goes to hell days, partly because Rosetia is not my favorite place in the world (hilarious now that I currently live here in exile) and partly because I thought the demigod Valrym would try and kill me like I killed my former boss to save him.

But I needed answers about the sword I carried, it had weird properties and seemed to have a propensity for slaying beasts and glowing.  So I had to know what the hell it was and if at some point it would explode.  So this meant crossing the border through bribery, avoiding Red Hand patrols so I didn't get rousted for being a spy (which happens hilarious enough and not just to oafs like Marian) and making my way to Rosetia and hoping that Valrym was still there in his run down tavern with poor lighting.

Rosetia had changed since I'd last been there, it had grown up as a city, not too much though (as most of the Red Hand cities were far behind their Ronerawth equivelent).  Streets were still only partialy paved and only near the main loading areas, there was a train but from what I saw of it they were way behind the types of engines I'd seen in Ronerawth, and most of the lighting and stuff was simple oil lamps still lit by hand (Ronerawths major cities had discovered means of turning steam powered engines to produce electricity more consistently). Also cleanliness was at a mininum horse crap and general refuse was everywhere, it was like going back in time.

I managed to locate the Flagon Slayer just where I remembered it, the sign out front looked a bit more faded but overall it appeared to be the same tavern I'd stepped in years ago.  It was still morning, but the open sign was in the window, which thankfully meant less customers to interrupt me and Valrym's little chat about his sword, that being of course if he was still around or alive.  He may have sold the tavern and moved on to humping rocks or whatever earth demigods do. I could see smoke over coming out of chimney up top and smell meat cooking, so someone was obviously working inside. I got over my fear of being immediately murdered and opened the door.  It was like stepping back a hundred years, like I'd never left, the place looked the exact same. Including Valrym scowling behind his shortened bar.

"Oh my greatest mistake come back to remind me of my failure." His voice was the same gruff anger I recall it being.  His words obviously spoke to the same disposition.  We were alone in the tavern I saw no other patrons sleeping off a good drink from the night before.

"Good to see you too Valrym, well partially see you."

"I knew you were in town when I could smell the stench of garbage and death, I'd hoped some creature had just died, alas." He had moved from out behind the bar, no weapon, but he was definately on edge.  I couldn't exactly blame him, its not like necromancers had made his life easier.

"Easy easy my ego hasn't been bruised in a while and I didn't come here to fight."

"Then what are you doing here? Leading the wolves to me?" His fists were clenched, I could smell a strange smell in the air, perhaps a building of power?

I drew out the sword he had given me all those years ago, "I really need to know where this thing came from and what I've been walking around with all these years."

I could see a visible difference in his posture, he relaxed and the smell in the room went away, "Oh that, that's an interesting story...." And I'll go all in with it tomorrow.  Because I'm a masterful story teller with hooks on hooks, and I'm tired writing hurts ok, you entitled jerks who is probably me reading my awful hand writing. STOP BEING A JERK ME!

Mommy

I whipped around chunks of monster flesh still clinging to my sword was thrown off and splattered on the walls next to me.  The cave ended in a large craterish hole, there were some shining crystals working as lights (so I could actually see, the entire cave system was lined with them, which at least told me the monsters couldn't see in the dark) at the end of the crater was a huge version of the creatures I'd faced earlier and it was chained.  So the children looked to have overthrown their parent/mom/whatever. Even still I approached the creature with caution, it did not look like it had been some peace loving plant eater prior to being chained up.

"Are you going to kill me too?" The voice was strained, I'd heard a similar tone in myself after years of my own captivity.

"Should I?" It was an honest question I'm not exactly one to judge others for their horrible, but I also had almost become a snack to these creatures and if this one births them somehow I couldn't really justify letting it live.  The creature seemed to give it a lot of thought weighing its options before it spoke again.

"Yes, I tried to not be a monster though I'm sure you will not believe me, ultimately though I became what I am, it is time for me to die and be buried with my children." I was actually kind of sad when the creature spoke, now I can't entirely say it wasn't some forced emotion the beast put in my head (because its offspring could do the same thing). It was kind of funny because I knew all along I would kill it, but hearing it admit it should be killed was kind of a nasty self reflection (no I don't ask people to kill me, but I know that honestly should someone do it, I've earned it). The creature leaned forward, I took up my sword and with a chop it was done.  I worried for a half a second it was going to react and try and kill me, but that fear was over as its weird blood flowed on to the ground.

It took me some time, but I found my way out of the cave of horrors (is there any other type for me? No the answer is no).  I did find some donations to the Lorentino fund amongst discarded things (look the people who's these items belonged to were no longer in any shape to disagree). With a couple hours spent wandering the plains I found my way back to my horse and supplies which were thankfully not picked over and made my way back to town my task accomplished.

I did have a new mission and I knew I'd have to wait for my staff to get back from their vacation to do it, because it would require me to go deep in Red Hand territory and confront a horrible creature for an explination long overdue.  And to that extent I'll leave you here.  Remember to hug your parent, or some crazy person might just murder them because they are a monster... Look it could happen.

Heroic Battle of Heroicness with Heroism

Wounded, drugged, stuck in a cave facing monsters I can't describe even now.  For anyone else this would be an unwinnable scenario, the kind of thing you'd just kiss you butt good bye and hope they leave enough of you for your family to bury. Not for Trezlan Lorentino! I just look those ugly sons of ugly in the eyes, hold my sword up high, and run in the other direction! That's right when the going got tough I booked.  Honestly being a hero is overrated.  I mean who's going to care you died covered in glory, YOU STILL DIED!  Myself I've done some bad things and the thought of death is not exactly one I'm really excited about (facing judgement as a necromancer does that to you).

It's amazing how much utter fear of death and dismemberment can limber up your legs even when you were drugged. I swear I was flying I ran so fast in those caverns.  And despite my previous belief I couldn't have been that deep underground I apparently very much was, but that didn't slow me down. I ran like running was going out of style. The monsters were on my heels I could hear their heavy footfalls right behind me the whole time. I thought of trying to toss some fire on the ground or something, but again I was worried about control, and with running I'd worry it would just be a wasted effort (much like everything I do in life.... HEY YOOOOOO).  I figured if I kept running I'd make it into open ground and then uhh the sun would kill the monsters? (What can I say I like old classic tales). The problem was THE DAMN CAVE KEPT GOING!

I honestly passed so many bones and corridors full of discarded clothing I was worried I was having some kind of sick dream as they were all slowly eating me.  But I was getting progressively more tired, it was a losing game to keep running, I know this because I'm frequently in losing games. I saw the cave wall bent to the right suddenly and formulated a crazy plan, ducking around to the right I held my blade about where neck high would be, and shockingly my enemies chopped all their own dumb heads off.  I couldn't believe my luck!  I even verified they were all indeed dead, and after a comical laugh and strut (also known as the Lorentino victory jig). I went to move about my way when I heard a growl behind me.

"You killed my children." Yes of course only I who was attempting to run from horrible creatures would find their mother/father/whatever. It actually took me a bit to even turn around, because I really really did not want to. And so thats where I'll leave you, a dark voice behind me calling out that I slaid its children, what horrible future awaits me? You'll never know, well until you read tomorrows entry which is probably already written... you know nevermind screw you!

Boned

"I think I'll just rest over here I'm quite tired we've walked for days." It felt like days, it had indeed been a couple hours at most, didn't know that at the time, but such is the benefit of writing about the past! I was in what appeared to be a house with a comfy looking couch and a roaring fire, notice how I said apeared to be...

"Yes friend take a rest, you've earned it." His voice was soothing like a wave of sunshine on a cloudy day (look thats the only way I could describe it, ignore the fact it sounds like a poorly laid out poem). I laid down on the couch and the Traveler disappeared for a moment.  The whole house felt very welcoming, I was about to ask for a glass of water when I noticed something on the ground, a piece of bone.  It seemed kind of out of place in the otherwise immaculately maintained house.  I was going to dismiss it, but I couldn't, something was off, why would there be a bone there? What kind of bone is that? Who's bone is that? Why would it be near the couch? I didn't see a dog or any other animal nearby. The more I focussed on this stray bone the more the illusion fell away. 

The house vanished, instead I was in a cave and it smelled miserable, the couch I was laying on, was actually the remains of some pack animal that had been picked clean, the rest of the cave was also covered in bones of one type or another. I didn't see the traveler, but I figured it was not some wholesome looking person of light either, there are a lot of beasts in this world that can cast illusions (too many, I've heard if you blot out one of your eyes you see through them, not being crazy I sure as hell have not done that). I also noticed I was more lethargic, I didn't remember eating anything, but illusions are weird, who knows what I was actually doing holding the creatures hand.

I stumbled off the pack animals corpse and landed on the ground with a thud, getting to my feet was like swimming through sludge. I heard a rasp behind me and the sounds of metal clanging off the ground, I tried to run towards what I hoped was the entrance (it's a cave there is one way deeper in, one way towards an entrance, so you know 50/50 right?) but with the sluggishness in my legs I didn't make it very far.  The creature lifted me off the ground its voice was a squeaky shriek right next to my ear.

"Leaving so soon? But you haven't even become dinner yet." I tried to grab my sword, but my hands moved so slow and with his free hand (which meant he was holding me up with one hand, always nice to know once again outmatched by an opponent) he cast my sword aside, it clattered against the wall helplessly away.

"Sorry not really feeling being on the menu." I went to the old standby (no not cowering in fear you jerk, I KNOW YOU ARE JUDGING ME!!!) and just scorched the ground.  The creature screamed impossibly high (it was so loud blood came out of my ears no joke) and tossed me into the cave wall, I landed with a thud.  Whatever luck I live by the wall was without obstruction (other than you know cave wall) he also stupidly tossed me next to my sword.  I was still groggy as all get out though so I wasn't exactly in fighting shape.  The creature was hard to make out really, it was part corpsey looking beast and part gigantic (seriously it was like a huge skeleton, which makes me wonder what anyone else saw when I was following it), it was also hopping around because I'd set its feet on fire (teach you ugly for lifting me off the ground).

I could feel my head swimming either from whatever it had drugged me with, smashing into the cave wall, or like a cold (its been a while, and I generally just tend to get nauseous every once in a while). So I knew the fight would not go in my favor for very long once big ugly put out his hot foot, I also had to wonder how much control I had in my fire, especially being drugged, because I'd be just as likely to ignite the air and burn myself alive which while achieving a result for one thing, would screw me for the rest (I've yet to find a way surviving burning alive, I don't think I really want to). So I'll admit in a bit of a desperation and a bit of just not caring anymore (could have been a result of the drugging or my general attitude), I ended up just throwing my sword at the problem.  The blade looped through the air, made a cachunk noise as it sliced my enemy in in two and collided with the wall behind him.  Honestly it was fairly shocking at the time and once again had me wondering about that sword Valrym had given me all those years ago.  What the hell is it made of?

Still my foe defeated I stumbled over his corpse and grabbed my sword and made my way to what I thought was the exit (I couldn't imagine I'd been that deep underground).  Moving forward I came across what appeared to be a collection of a bunch of the creature I'd just finished off, there were at least ten of the beasts staring me down.  I meekly held up my sword with my left hand and said the most heroic thing I could.

"So which way is it to the bathroom?" I'll admit its not my bravest moment.

The Traveler

"Scuse me friend." It was morning, it felt like morning because my throat was dry and I had a mild back ache from sleeping on the ground.  I hadn't intended on being awakened, but when you fall asleep near the road thats what happens.  Well that and you wake up without your pants (don't ask). So the person staring me down wasn't a surprise, though what appeared to be a mild glow around him certainly was. I wrote the glow off as my eyes adjusting to the light/the morning sun (though thinking back it was overcast so you know I'm just kind of an idiot, yes I can admit that here).

"Sorry wasn't expecting visitors." Well I was, but I was expecting some kind of horrific monster not some weird person saying "Scuse" and glowing.

"No one ever does. I'm a simple traveler and I've lost my way, could you help me?" I couldn't explain it then (but I of course know now) but I felt an overwhelming desire to help this guy, like if I didn't I'd feel bad for not helping him. He exuded such a personalable nature I couldn't even come up with a nasty retort or even a sarcastic one.

"Yes I can." I said it without realizing what I was saying, he offered me his hand and off I went.  I didn't care I'd left my horse behind or my bedding.  I was so intent on helping this traveler there was no other thought in my head. Now of course you'll probably realize he didn't need help anymore so than a spider needs help from the fly, but at the time I was unaware of this.  I just knew I needed to help this guy because he was in trouble and I helped people who were in trouble. Even though I frequently don't even when basically forced into it, that was indicator number 1 something was amiss.  When I become altruistic things have gone from bad to awful and I just don't know it yet.

Such is the way with bad things, they start off looking like good things and then soon enough your staring into the maw of a beast.  Oh wait sorry, little bit of a spoiler on that last point, guess you'll find out more tomorrow, that is if you don't meet any travelers along the way.

Tracker I don't even Know Her

I've never understood why people think I can actually track anything.  Sure if their magical I know some things, but despite hundreds of years of practice I've never actually learned how to follow or look for tracks that are not blindingly obvious for normal people.  Its just not something I really took the time to learn or care about (mainly because I thought if I did take the time to learn about it someone would want me to do more of it, which happens anyway, but a man can still hope!).  All of this is to explain that when I went north (great description of task "Go North good Trezlan find your path!") I found nothing.

No overturned wagons, blood trails, or disturbed ground.  I wasn't accosted, or threatened, or even vaguely flirted with (the empty winds blowing over the plains were not feeling very randy that day I guess).  I could see the road, I could see it was well traveled on, but I could find nothing else. I didn't see other travelers, but it was the middle of winter very few people like to go off on a trade caravan during the winter, especially when trains frequently supply most places and they can wait till summer for the incidental stuff.

I set up a camp near the road, simple tent little bit of a campfire (I brought wood, there ain't a lot of trees on the plains if you can believe that). Figured I'd hang around up there for a couple days maybe explore the flat plains of boring and then go back with a mission accomplished and back to town for a kudos and being left alone.  I of course realize now how stupid it is to make camp in a place where you are supposed to be looking for some awful man killing beast, but you know me by now, smart decisions are overridden by my narcissicm and when I feel an area is safe I do stupid things. I realize I do this, and I still do them anyway, because again refer to my narcissicm.  Look when you're a god you don't worry about the peons of the world! And if you're not a god then you're a peon and we care little for you.