Boned

"I think I'll just rest over here I'm quite tired we've walked for days." It felt like days, it had indeed been a couple hours at most, didn't know that at the time, but such is the benefit of writing about the past! I was in what appeared to be a house with a comfy looking couch and a roaring fire, notice how I said apeared to be...

"Yes friend take a rest, you've earned it." His voice was soothing like a wave of sunshine on a cloudy day (look thats the only way I could describe it, ignore the fact it sounds like a poorly laid out poem). I laid down on the couch and the Traveler disappeared for a moment.  The whole house felt very welcoming, I was about to ask for a glass of water when I noticed something on the ground, a piece of bone.  It seemed kind of out of place in the otherwise immaculately maintained house.  I was going to dismiss it, but I couldn't, something was off, why would there be a bone there? What kind of bone is that? Who's bone is that? Why would it be near the couch? I didn't see a dog or any other animal nearby. The more I focussed on this stray bone the more the illusion fell away. 

The house vanished, instead I was in a cave and it smelled miserable, the couch I was laying on, was actually the remains of some pack animal that had been picked clean, the rest of the cave was also covered in bones of one type or another. I didn't see the traveler, but I figured it was not some wholesome looking person of light either, there are a lot of beasts in this world that can cast illusions (too many, I've heard if you blot out one of your eyes you see through them, not being crazy I sure as hell have not done that). I also noticed I was more lethargic, I didn't remember eating anything, but illusions are weird, who knows what I was actually doing holding the creatures hand.

I stumbled off the pack animals corpse and landed on the ground with a thud, getting to my feet was like swimming through sludge. I heard a rasp behind me and the sounds of metal clanging off the ground, I tried to run towards what I hoped was the entrance (it's a cave there is one way deeper in, one way towards an entrance, so you know 50/50 right?) but with the sluggishness in my legs I didn't make it very far.  The creature lifted me off the ground its voice was a squeaky shriek right next to my ear.

"Leaving so soon? But you haven't even become dinner yet." I tried to grab my sword, but my hands moved so slow and with his free hand (which meant he was holding me up with one hand, always nice to know once again outmatched by an opponent) he cast my sword aside, it clattered against the wall helplessly away.

"Sorry not really feeling being on the menu." I went to the old standby (no not cowering in fear you jerk, I KNOW YOU ARE JUDGING ME!!!) and just scorched the ground.  The creature screamed impossibly high (it was so loud blood came out of my ears no joke) and tossed me into the cave wall, I landed with a thud.  Whatever luck I live by the wall was without obstruction (other than you know cave wall) he also stupidly tossed me next to my sword.  I was still groggy as all get out though so I wasn't exactly in fighting shape.  The creature was hard to make out really, it was part corpsey looking beast and part gigantic (seriously it was like a huge skeleton, which makes me wonder what anyone else saw when I was following it), it was also hopping around because I'd set its feet on fire (teach you ugly for lifting me off the ground).

I could feel my head swimming either from whatever it had drugged me with, smashing into the cave wall, or like a cold (its been a while, and I generally just tend to get nauseous every once in a while). So I knew the fight would not go in my favor for very long once big ugly put out his hot foot, I also had to wonder how much control I had in my fire, especially being drugged, because I'd be just as likely to ignite the air and burn myself alive which while achieving a result for one thing, would screw me for the rest (I've yet to find a way surviving burning alive, I don't think I really want to). So I'll admit in a bit of a desperation and a bit of just not caring anymore (could have been a result of the drugging or my general attitude), I ended up just throwing my sword at the problem.  The blade looped through the air, made a cachunk noise as it sliced my enemy in in two and collided with the wall behind him.  Honestly it was fairly shocking at the time and once again had me wondering about that sword Valrym had given me all those years ago.  What the hell is it made of?

Still my foe defeated I stumbled over his corpse and grabbed my sword and made my way to what I thought was the exit (I couldn't imagine I'd been that deep underground).  Moving forward I came across what appeared to be a collection of a bunch of the creature I'd just finished off, there were at least ten of the beasts staring me down.  I meekly held up my sword with my left hand and said the most heroic thing I could.

"So which way is it to the bathroom?" I'll admit its not my bravest moment.