A Lovely Time for A War

There was a knock at my door.  I figured it was one of the prince's royal guards, I had a moment a couple days prior and blew up at the court accusing them of wasting my talents on "Low minded things" and claimed I was done for a couple centuries (which I'm sure sounded funny to them, but at the time I totally meant it).  I told them to go away, I wasn't dealing with Royal stuff and they'd have to come back when I felt like being bothered again. The knock persisted and wasn't followed up with the usual threat of being tossed into the dungeon.  It was just a polite loud knock, the kind someone knows will be answered if they keep doing it.

Intrigued I opened the door and Toneron Hanlon was waiting on the other side of it.  Now it had been about fifty years since I had seen him last, but he looked just like he did then (which is terrifying, I don't age to people, its not supposed to happen the other way around).  He was dressed like he had been before, a charcoal suit neatly pressed, no folds or dust from having ridden or walked somewhere (I didn't see a carriage or horse either, it was like he had blinked into existence).  No weapon or guards either, for someone who ran a rather profitable weapon manufacturer Toneron never carried one himself.  He smiled at me when I opened the door, it was unnerving for a multitude of reasons.

"Trezlan! You are looking, well old." He waited at the door, most people just come inside without being asked, but he specifically never did, never has, in my multitude of meetings with him over these years, he never comes in uninvited.  I almost suspect Toneron is not a person at all, some kind of weird supernatural creature I've never heard of, why he sells weapons is beyond me.

"Thanks, its been a rought fifty years."

"May I come in?"

"Sure please do, knock the dust off your shoes." There was not any dust on his shoes, despite it being the summer and the roads all being dusty, again he appeared apparently from nowhere.

"How very nice of you, and no I don't need a drink or a bite to eat, what I need is a favor." And here was where I got afraid, I owed him previously for the explosives and the no questions asked about it, and here it came the "And now I own you" speech.

"What could I a humble public servant offer you the owner of a weapon manufacturer?"

"Don't sell yourself short, you have centuries of experience, I'm sure you could offer more than you'd ever truely disclose, but in this case I do need you as a public servant. I want a war."

"A what? How can I start a war for you?"

"Oh no not start, don't worry thats already happened, or it will happen, things are in motion for a war as we speak." I was held speechless for a moment, I had started to worry I'd hear shelling shortly thereafter and Ronerawth would once again be a battlefield. "No not here Trezlan, in the Red Hand's territory, they are about to go to war once again, magic and man combatting for all the chips. What I need from you is to get Ronerawth to supply the rebellion."

"Can't you just supply them with your guns already?" He had the supply lines or whatever he did to get guns into peoples hands.

"Not without offending the royalty and the last thing I need are those useless bags of flesh sniffing around my factories.  No I need you to work a deal, its not an immediate thing and doesn't have to happen right away, but I need you to influence the court to allow our weapon manufacturers to supply the resistance, that way when they win we'll have a new market for our weapons and a new frontier to conquer with them! Its Win/Win."

"I feel like I'm lost here."

"Don't be, this is a lot to take in and I knwo you're on a break with the prince, but watch the papers and I'll be back in a couple days to set you up with a couple of people I know, we are going to do this Trezlan, you and I, because I am and always will be, your biggest fan." Toneron left, I was sitting there in stunned silence wondering what just happened to me.  But he was right, a few days later the papers were full of front page articles about how a sitting Red Hand Council member was murdered while giving a speech, and a rebellion was rumored to be underway.  I still worry that Toneron was more involved than he claimed to be, but its not like I can do something about it.  HE APPEARS OUT OF A NOWHERE AND MAKES GUNS FOR A LIVING!

Abominable Wrap Up

"You sure you don't want anything for this?" I had handed Trix the God weapon, she was out of breath and looking ragged for having almost been crushed by some horrible creature, but she looked good to an extent, me I was half deaf, my arm was numb and I had a taste of sulfur in my mouth that would not leave.

"NO NO THANK YOU." Oh also I was shouting due to being half deaf from the shot, on top of that all the hair on my arm was completely burned off. To be honest I didn't want the weapon because it was dangerous.  I don't do well with dangerous (in a way I'm dangerous if you want to look at it like that), and even worse with a god weapon.  That Trix wanted it was enough for me to never want to have it ever again.  I didn't know if it would work again, if I'd burned it out, or if it had served its purpose.  All I knew is that it was done, spent, and so was I.  I wanted to be out of there so much I had forgotten my stupid horse had run off.

"Do you want any money or anything?"

"NO NO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE JUST LEAVE ME BE!" I didn't mean to shout, but again I had to to be able to hear myself, and in a way I did want to be left alone. I wanted to no longer have to deal with things and I was done in general (so my usual after having completed something moderately difficult, like if I fail at cooking something I will throw down my utensils and proudly exclaim I'm never cooking again, I'm a bit of a child for someone who has lived multiple centuries).  Trix didn't fight me wanting to be done, or me giving her the pistol, she just saddled her horse (that had not run off like mine) and rode away.  I did not see her again, she crossed the border back to the Red Hand territory and died somewhere I'm sure, forgotten except for these past few entries.  I didn't have any issue with the Ronerawth government, I told them I executed Trix after she lied to me about trying to recover some gold she'd stolen and all was forgotten.  Such is the way with governments, as long as there isn't an issue they don't care.

Things got boring for a while there, nothing happened really.  The twins graduated boarding school, they went on to be a terror to the country side and were killed shortly there after (kidding, they grew old married had children of their own and actually stopped using magic altogether as frequently happened in Ronerawth).  Me I continued on as the new Prince's royal whatever it was.  Solving trade disputes, and dealing with really boring day to day garbage all the while knowing if I screwed up I'd be executed.  Fun times those fifty years let me tell you! But things were changing, and with change comes well exile.  And thats what I'll talk about next, how I got exiled from Ronerawth and wound up in Rosetia after a damn revolution! Its actually a funny story that I'll tell you tomorrow!

Post Script, I normally don't augment my entries after writing them, mainly because I'm lazy, also because I'm lazy.  Wait I gave the same excuse twice, never mind, anyway, I've recently come across something from the Followers of Fire about the incident with the Abomination that would explain a couple lose threads I realize this story left.  Plus I just wanted to add this to my journal because it was kind of a pain for me to get it and if I'm going to suffer something for this I want it to be marked down somewhere! This was a note from Trix to her superiors in the Followers of Fire Hiearchy, yes turns out she wasn't just some adventurer who wanted to save the world.  So its just me doing that bit of stupidity.

Abomination has been dealt with, the Hand of the Fire God is now in my possession.  Had a little difficulty in aquiring it.  Ran across the Necormancer Trezlan, he was with two young children, initially reluctant to help our cause I was able to perusade him to it.  In the future we could use the children against him should we need his services again.  I'll be returning the normal way. All Praise the Fire god.

Trezlan Lorentino And The God Bullet

"Trezlan do something!" Trix had started running, and I really wanted to, but the damn creature was in the way. I mean I could jump off the cliff, but it wasn't exactly a smart move (not that this whole plan had any intelligence at all). I thought at first my eyes were playing tricks on me, but the creature appeared to be growing, and sadly it was (I guess thats the reason it was an abomination? Well that and the fact it was part man and part FIRE!).

"What do you want me to do? He's made out of freaking fire!" I mean I wasn't entirely sure it would fail, but with the corruption its not like just firing a bullet.

"Hit it with necromancy or something! Where's the box?" Oh yeah that stupid box, I completely forgot about why we'd brought it here (funny how that works, well not that funny). Now I know you think I leave a lot of things out and well I do, but I at no point told Trix about my necromancy, and while its not exactly a huge secret, its not like its written on me anywhere.  This is what we call foreshadowing kids.

"On my horse," Which ran off to start the previous fight naturally. Trix was running and firing, the abomination was chasing after her, so far it hadn't caught up to her, but as I said it was growing and wouldn't be too long for it to grab her.  The bullets didn't seem to do much to it.

"We're so screwed." I started to look around for the horse, but it appeared long gone (it was about a mile away by this point, when I did catch up to it, it was yelping and running, couldn't say I blamed it, but it really screwed me) I was about to think we were as boned as Trix thought we were (though she was running and shooting at a creature straight from a lot of nightmares) until I saw that stupid box laying on the ground about where I'd mixed it up with the cultists, probably fell off when I jumped down. I ran up to it cracked open the box, of all things I thought would be in there, a revolver was not one of them.  It was pretty ornate with a lot of weird runic writing down the barrel that appeared to be glowing (also to note the tomb we had opened was potentially a thousand years old, so this revolver had come from a time out of time where as in my time it just looked like any number of other revolvers).  I took the pistol out and pointed it at the creature and pulled the trigger, and nothing happened.

"ITS EMPTY!" I shouted toward Trix she didn't appear to hear me, though she was running hard and firing on her feet, the creature just about had her and looked to be about five stories tall. I tried to fire every chamber and each one was clicking empty.

"IT CAN'T BE EMPTY YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE!" Believe? Me? That's not me, only thing I believe in is Trezlan, but I did believe I didn't want to die, and so I guess I could believe the pistol had a bullet.  I tried to gather my belief in the Fire God, though it wasn't very nice to her in my mind (I called her some choice words), aimed the pistol and pulled the trigger, everything seemed to be so slow, I could see the abomination of man and fire about to grab Trix and then my arm, ears, and eyes hurt.  I've fired all kinds of bullets, all kind of different sizes, but this one left me with a throbbing like I'd fired the world.  The abomination disappeared, not like blood and fire, just completely gone. Trix turned to me with a strange look, I couldn't hear what she said because my ears were ringing, I did notice my arm was scorched up from where the pistol had fired, the pistol itself was perfectly fine, the inscription on the side was no longer glowing, and for that I was sad because I didn't get to read what it was.

I fell to my knees, it was all over.  Well this one was, as I've said many times MY LIFE IS HORRIBLE!

Magic on Magic Violence

Approaching a cult as they are about to summon a beat to destroy the world is never an easy thing.  Its less of an easy thing when you just ride up on them without much warning they are there and your companion who was supposedly leading you to a cave or something did not warn you that "Oh hey Trezlan you just rode right into the middle of a group of cultists." Now you may ask yourself why I didn't notice the group of men (its always men, women have more important thigns to do than summon beasts from beyond). And to that I say SHUT UP! There I was surrounded by creepy dudes with beards in cloaks and I was mounted, my weapons sheathed and looking like I showed up late for a party. I did have the god weapon on my horse still (still in its case so I had no idea what it actually was). Which meant if Trix was hoping to get me killed, she screwed up in letting me keep the one thing we needed.

"Looks like I'm late sorry guys." I hopped off my horse they all gave me that wild eyed crazy person stare that wild eyed crazy people have.  The group was on the ruins of what at one point had probably been a church. We were also near the ocean, which didn't surprise me because oceans have always held power, even for a god like The Fire God.  Also if you were to banish an abomination of the Fire God, doing so in the ocean, not a bad idea. The cultists looked like they were almost finished, a greenish sort of goo had formed near the center of their little creepy circle and before I showed up the chanting had hit a bit of a crescendo (which makes it even worse I kind of missed the whole cultist thing).

I was about to follow up my clearly they are buying it statement with some "I brought beer the good kind." When a couple cultists exploded and the booming sound of a rifle shot followed.  Clearly Trix had decided my act was not going that well. The cultists struggled to fight back against Trix (I mean she had the drop on them AND explosive bullets, how exactly can you fight that off?) I was feeling pretty good about arriving when I did when a snarled ugly man almost blasted me into next week.

I should have known someone there would have some magical ability (I mean someone has to work the ritual) I did not expect him to have a considerable amount.  His bout of green flame was interesting (how or why green?) and terrifying because it seemed like his skill was equal to my own.  I want to say I dodged the burst with grace, but I really just fell on my ass and pulled my pistol firing off a couple shots, one missed and the other he melted with some kind of fire shield. The pistol doing me no favor I tossed it aside and drew my sword, a nearby explosive bullet vaporizing a cultist about to stab me to death coated me in former cultist bits (Trix also couldn't hit magic man because of the weird fire shield). I unleashed my own red fire (have I mentioned my fire is red? I think so, but since this guy was using a different color I think I should mention specifically mine is red) and he counteracted it, while keeping that shield up.  He had also drawn his own sword, though his was once of those weird snakey looking blades I hadn't seen in a while (with the advent of guns swords were more for show). 

He wielded his in his right hand, I had mine in my left. For a moment I worried I'd be screwed since it had been a while since I'd had any kind of sword play, but the way he swung his sword told me it had been never since he'd ever had to use it (probably some ceremonial thing he think looked cool). I made sure to bury my sword in one of the gaps in his blade (which was the point of the snake design to catch an opponents sword) and with a bit of force knocked his sword from his hand and to the ground. Following that up like a man who had not gone out of practice with using a sword I swung upswards with a flick and sliced his throat wide open, he dropped to his knees before the weird glowing green pool.

"Looks like we stopped the abomination didn't even need the god thingy." Trix was near me now, having finished off the rest of the cultists from a distance.

"Are you sure about that?" I hadn't looked at it since dispatching the snarly looking magic man, but the pool of green had grown, the blood of the fallen nearby adding to it.

"Crap, this wasn't one of those they have to sacrifice themselves to break the seals type summon was it?"

"There are multiple types?" Trix voice was a bit hard to hear, the summoning pool was growing bigger and noise was echoing from within.

"Oh yeah tons of ways to summon something I'll have to show you sometime." By the end of my sentence I was shouting to be heard.  The pool grew bigger and bigger and then exploded throwing both me and Trix off our feet. When I got back to my feet the noise was gone, but a creature that was half man/half molten fire was in its place. The abomination roared and Trix reloaded her rifle, me? Well I bravely stood my ground and fled in the other direction.  Look this thing was supposed to wipe out life, I wasn't about to just wait around for it to do so!

There are no nice Cults

"So why is this abomination going to get free, the fire god just hates us all that much?" I couldn't stand the question of why we were doing this.  Also I almost worried that what I had in the little box was actually the thing that would unleash the beast and I was actually helping that to come about, which based on my previous mistakes, probably wouldn't even be the worst thing I've ever done (what that says about me is hilarious).

"There's a cult that thinks they will get ascendance if the world is bathed in fire." Why people always think getting murdered is a way to a better life is beyond me.  I personally try and avoid death each and every single say I'm alive, its why I'm still alive all these years!

"That's never good."

"No, no its not, and if you hadn't delayed me with you bullshit we might have stopped them prior to unleashing the beast, but now we have to ride hard and hope its not out yet, or pray that whatever is in that box can save us."

"No pressure or anything right." She didn't respond and we rode on.  It was about a week before we arrived at our destination, and sadly we were just too late.  Looks this time it totally was not my fault! This was Trix's fault, because she's a woman and I'm sure she got lost at least once!  What? Its not like she's around anymore to fight my writing of the event.

Why Does My Foot Love My Mouth?

"There was nothing in the box." I had been trying to explain this situation to a royal palance guard for about an hour, it was not going well.

"But there was something in the box." He was insistent in this principal, I could not convince him of it being different.

"How would you know that? You never opened it."

"I heard something in it."

"No you did not, you imagined you heard something in it." We'd been doing this dance for an hour AN HOUR! I had the box with the god thing inside of it, I'd replaced it with an empty box and I trying to convince the guard the box that I replaced it with should be considered the real one and what I was taking was not.

"Wait are you trying to say that I should pretend that box is the real one, and what you are taking is not actually taking but the box you showed up with, and if anyone opens that box and finds nothing inside that there was never really anything inside the real box you are carrying that clearly has something in it."

"Yes dear gods yes."

"Well why didn't you just say that?" He seemed smart, but his reasoning was so stupid it hurt me in a way I couldn't explain in a thousand years. I left him some coin (the payment for being an idiot implied) and made my way outside where Trix and another guard I'd previously paid off to arrange for her release was waiting.

"What took you so long?" The guard looked more anxious than he should have, we weren't being traitors, not really, what we were were damn heroes, just no one would ever find that out.

"If I had to explain it you wouldn't want me to."

"Well here's the lady and I gave her back her stuff, you owe me."

"Your payment will be continued existence! And of course a package that will be delivered in a couple days." He nodded and let go of Trix's reigns.  We were well away from the castle and the township before she spoke.

"So you found out I'm not lying and this is your version of your sorry?"

"Sure we'll go with that."

"Hows that foot taste Trezlan?"

"Worse than you'll feel if we fail." And with she lead to the cave of the abomination, and yet again I had to save the nation from something that would destroy it.  I swear I should get extra hazard pay from all this world saving because continued existence despite my opinion to the contrary IS NOT MUCH OF A REWARD!

The Lore of Annihilation

Don't you hate when you start out to prove someone wrong and you find out they are probably right? I hate that, it almost makes me wish I'd never set out to prove anyone wrong, but then again I wouldn't then prove them wrong and get that smug sense of satisfaction right? Or wrong, I'm lost lets start over. 

Ok so after my meeting with Trix I decided to find out some lore on this weapon of the Fire Mother and see what if anything it could be used for to stop us all from being killed to death. Turns out ancient religions that became the basis for a current banned religion, not so popular in the country that banned them (I know it surpised me too). The best I could come up with out of a couple days of searching (don't worry I told the guard not to execute Trix until I could determine she was lying, see I'm a giver) was a dusty book written in what looked like urine on pages made of leaves (and it cost a lot of money to just buy it, surpringly urine written leaf books are in huge demand or something).

The writing was the same language as the ruin, though it was more modernized (as in there were words from our current dialect in it) which spoke of using the gift from the Fire Mother to slay the "Beast".  Well it eventually did, most of it was boring mumbo jumbo about their god and her love and blah blah blah.  Honestly this is one of the few cultures who seemed to like the Fire God instead of just curing her name for the constant conflict.  Even the Followers don't worship her as a just deity, they worship her as a neccessary one.  Maybe in her youth she was a nicer god? I have no idea.

Anyway to the actual beast writing.  Seems that the Fire Mother "birthed" an Abomination at some point.  Now I don't know if that means created, or literraly gave birth to it, but the creature was destructive (indeed it apparently killed most of her worshippers which lead to them later on being wiped out by the people who now currently inhabit Ronerawth). The mother unwilling to put down her child locked it away and apparently informed the remaining people of the group should it get loose again the gift could kill the creature.

I was really confused by this tale, not only was the Fire God nice, but she had a child and refused to just murder it? I almost started to doubt that the current Fire God was the original (something I confirmed with Val years later, yeah same chick).  Unfortunately though it did support Trix's assertion destruction was coming, and so with a heavy heart I had to trek back to the castle and stop her from being executed, get the relic out of the vault, and then kill a god's own abomination.  You know something really easy...

Royal Benefits

The new Prince had done a lot to soften the image of the castle. The stone walls were still there, but the decorating was more modern and less oppressive.  Guards were allowed to wear more casual royal finery, and their weapons were in a more reserve state instead of at the ready. But there was one place that just can't have not feel oppressive.  And thats the dungeon.  No matter how much paint, cabinets, and tapestries you add, stone and bars just feels like you are well locked in a dungeon.

Not that I was mind you, oh no not this time.  This time I got to be the person on the other side of the bars.  When me and the twins left the ruin we came across some Ronerawth military.  Apparently they weren't as incompetent as I figured and they had tracked the initial group of jerks we dealt with to the ruins, too late to stop them (well because we'd killed them obviously), but they did spot Trix leaving us in the lurch and promptly arrested her.  Noticing there were three other horses sans riders (and not just running off after the battle) the soldiers posted a couple guards to wait for Trix's companions.  When me and the twins emerged they were hilariously relieved (I'd been introduced to the local garrison earlier, I figured at the time so they'd know who to kill when I screwed up, this time was kind of opposite of a normal Lorentino mistake.  Ergo I didn't kill everyone I know), they also told me they'd captured Trix and brought her to township for judgement.

This may surprise you but the previous Prince, despite my amazing powers of administration had kind of let the government in the area collapse (hilarious considering he started his treasonous action due to taxes he himself HAD STOPPED COLLECTING!).  Which meant there wasn't a proper prison, only a simple jail that was for the drunks and the occaisional fight.  The military not a local authority had to police the township, and the military was not good at it (shocking a group designed to fight is not good at keeping people in line with local laws and general policing). Which is to explain why in a modern government situation why Trix was in a dungeon instead of a simple jail or prison, they had no other place to put her, nor the infrastructure to determine the best place.

"Grave robbery, sounds like a lesser offense for the type of punishment you are facing." I'd strolled down to the dungeon (alone I found a nice boarding school for the twins, my adventures with them taught me I'm a terrible parent and should raise no children ever) wearing my new royal outfit, basically a purple open chested robe and some shiny black boots with silk pants.  I looked more like a local pimp than an advisor to a prince, but in a way thats how I felt more often than not.

"Royal Magical Affairs Advisor? Sounds like a lot of pomp for a bargain rate magic user."

"Oh you know my title?" We were alone, Trix was still in her ridiculous outfit, but she didn't have any visible weapons other than her female wiles, which are never to be underestimated.

"The guards informed me of it before they left, I suspect they think you will have your way with me."

"Simple fools."

"I didn't think they were incorrect." I did notice she had unbuttoned some key parts of her outfit (not that there was a lot to begin with).

"Yeah that's not why I'm here, nor am I stupid enough to fall for a trick like that." Her look soured, a woman scorned is an enemy earned has been my experience.

"Where's the artifact?"

"Safe, in a safe actually, still unopened, I told the soldiers it would be dangerous to open it as you may have booby trapped the box." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"You have to get me out of here and get that box," She seemed insistent, because well she was in a cell about to be executed, I'd been there.

"Right of course, because your buyer is upset they can't get their object? Sorry its the property of the Ronerawth government now, well it was always ours, I guess you just helped get it."

"No there is a terrible enemy coming, and we need whats in that box to stop it."

"Of course not a buyer upset but a world destroying doom? Naturally, and only the gift from the Fire God can stop it? Look Trix if you are going to lie, lie a little better next time we talk." I walked off and she cursed from her cell (which I'm sure did wonders to dispell the rumors I had my way with her) the cursing didn't make a lot of sense, but it was in some weird traveler language I hadn't heard before.

She was of course telling the truth about a devastating new horror coming, but wouldn't you know it I just didn't believe her.  Because thats how I am, always doubting the problems until they up and try and eat me. I'd work to change that, but why mess with a winning formula!

A Gift From a God?

Thirteen traps.  THIRTEEN! Why thirteen? I have no idea, I mean it should have been even, twelve or fourteen, but thirteen? Unacceptable. I do have to once again give credit to Trix, because she was able to disarm them all, even some of the weirder ones that somehow were based on blocking a light source.  I'll also give credit to the ancient people here, they were inventive and spooky with their traps, even though there were no bodies proving the greatest trap of all was the damn door I had to open. We eventually came to a pedestal with a wooden box on it.  The box seemed odd considering all the stone.  It was a fairly large box, but nothing was inscribed in it.  Just a plan red wooden box.  I heard Trix suck in a breath when we got there, I was a bit confused because it seemed well fairly ordinary.

"There it is." She seemed a bit more breathless than a treasure hunter hired to get an object. I figured it was because of money.  Both the twins and I weren't really that in awe of a red box on a stone pedestal.

"So do we open it or just take the box or..." I heard a click behind me, I hadn't noticed Trix move there, but I knew it was her.

"Or you and the twins take a seat in the corner while I grab this and get out of here."

"So much for half."

"Its not you, its me, I hate to share."  The twins did as they were told and came toward me.  I could tell she had her finger tapped on the trigger I so much as blinked at her and she'd shoot me and the twins.

"This isn't over."

"I'm sure its not for me, but for you, sad to say the adventure has come to a close.  Don't leave this room until I fire a shot off at the entrance or I'll fire a shot right into your face." Trix made her way out, her rifle pointed at us and the box under her arm.  I figured she wouldn't be able to get more than one shot off with a gun position like that, but again I'd rather live than die.

"What are we going to do now Trezlan?" Sara was asking in a voice that sounded a bit more afraid than I think it warranted.

"Wait for her to shoot a shot off and then leave, see kiddos this is the other part of an adventure, the getting screwed over by a sketchy partner part.  I'd say you get used to it, but I never have." And never will! So the twins and I waited and waited, but the shot never came, and thats when we started to wonder if we could have heard it if she shot it, or if she ran across a trap.  Still not wanting to get shot in the face we sat in silence for a couple hours.  When we did emerge well things had not gone well for poor Trix... But thats tomorrow's entry!

Fire God Fire Problems

It had been a couple hours, the twins had moved to playing some kind of rock game (I didn't understand the rules, though I was busy deciphering the bottom parts of the wall), I was a bit worried they'd trigger a trap of some kind, but Trix wasn't worried and unless she was a complete crazy person she would be if they were in danger.  I had deciphered most of the wall, it spoke of the Fire Mother's gift to the people here and how it changed their way of thinking (fat lot of good it did them since you know I was reading it in a dead language in a ruin that no one really cared about). I could think of only one thing that the Fire God would give a disciple (and not fire you jerk, by the time this was carved they already had fire) and it was a weapon, that's all she gave anyone, she was very good at doing that.  I'd actually heard of several groups "graced" by her prescense that went on to murder their neighbors using something she'd granted them.  What kind of weapon was not written down.

"You are just stalling aren't you?" Trix apparently had caught on to my lie I didn't know how to open the door.

"Can you read this? Because I'm pretty sure I'm the only one." We were whispering, not that the twins really cared either way.

"I could always find a way to open the door without you, I had planned on it anyway."

"Explosive bullets? Not a great plan, seems like there is a trap on the other side just for that." There wasn't, but she didn't know that.

"Why the delay?"

"Because I know you're lying to me, you aren't a simple looter, and I know that the Fire Mother is the Fire God, so why don't you come clean and tell me you work for the Followers and we can move this conversation forward."

"Figured that all on your own did you?"

"Despite my appearence I'm not an idiot." She sucked in her breath as if to deliver another insult, I let it slide.

"I'm not with the Followers."

"Right and you just happen to want one of their artifacts from Ronerawth territory that they are banned from being in." I weighed my option, the twins weren't paying attention, but I didn't think she could shoot me before I killed her, if it came to that, I tried to hide that I was gathering a bit of power.

"I can give you a cut of the profit." She had changed her posture, I figured there was some hideout pistol she was reaching for.

"I don't want a cut of the profit, I want to know what you're after and why you want it, relics like thsi are dangerous."

"You don't even know if its here." We sat in silence for a moment and then I opened the door.  I had figured out the lock hours earlier, but wanted to see her reaction to me calling her out.  It had been about what I expected, but it was nice to hear she was a simple mercenary and not a true believer (well I was wrong about that, but I'll get to that ok sheesh).

"Are there any other traps deeper in?" The twins had noticed the door was open and came to stare at the corridor beyond, which unlike the earthy cave we were in, was entirely carved stone with more writing on the walls.

"I have no idea, it didn't list any beyond curses on the walls, but its not like they didn't put traps before it." And with that Trix got beyond the door and into the tomb of the Fire God's gift, and me and the twins followed like the adventurers we were.  Well I was an adventurer the twins were more bored girls dragged their by their crazy surrogate father, but I like to think they learned something ok... Again I'm writing this, and bang they just did!

Caves Are Dangerous? You Don't Say

"Watch out for traps." Trix had been leading us into the cave mainly because she seemed to know where she was going.

"Seriously traps? They are so not a real..." I had pushed past her and was about to explain that traps are something people made up to keep others from looting their tombs, until a spike almost impaled my hand. "And thats what a stupid person would say, see girls you have to be careful in ruins," Trix gave me a look and I'm sure Sara and Jara weren't exactly buying it, but hey I'm delusional I can say they were and bam they totally were. I let Trix lead on since she seemed adept at spotting traps and she knew where we were going until we came to a dead end scrawled with ancient text.

"Tell me you aren't completely useless." I could hear Jara and Sara laughing under their breath.

"I'm not completely useless, in fact quite the opposite, but I'm not entirely sure what you mean here? I can't move walls on my own." Well not without blowing them up, but even then that requires something to explode them.

"So show me, read this language." She said it with a bit of a smirk, like she didn't expect it could be done. Ordinarily with anyone else she'd probably be right, but with my level of knowledge and uhh acquistion of knowledge, I'm not a normal ruin wanderer.

"Its ancient, older than Ronerawth and they are pretty old in their own.  Looks to be from a tribal group that I believe moved up to the Red Hand."

"I'm impressed."

"Please, this is nothing, though I'm a bit worried by what it says." She turned away, the mark of someone about to lie to you, I should know, I do it all the time.

"Why what's it say?"

"It mentions a gift from the fire mother and how its sealed here, and guarded by curses."

"So you're worried the tomb has something to steal in it?"

"No I'm worried about the curses."

"Ha the man who laughs about traps is worried about some old words." She laughed, and I felt a bit of anger at her casual dismissal.

"Just words? Please curses are some of the oldest function of magic, even before people could effectively channel magic they could make curses, and some of these older ones are nasty as all get out."

"Ok aside from the curses and boogeyman does it say how to open it?" She was way too eager to get it open.  The twins probably hadn't heard of the Fire God, she wasn't a religion in their land, and most people had never heard of her called the Fire Mother, but I knew of her early names (studying up on the various gods has become a habit of mine for obvious reasons).  So while I could easily see how to open the door (and it was a door not a wall), I did not see what this object the fire god had given them was, and I wanted to read the entire inscription.

"I'm getting there, you guys might want to get comfortable my decription here is a little rusty, I think this is 'The' and I'm hoping this is door..." All three of them sat with a harumph and I smiled to myself, sometimes its way to easy to fool people when they don't understand a thing you are reading.  Its why I write this journal in a language no one speaks anymore!

Will The Real Looters Please Stand Up

You know when accusing someone of being a looter to try and distract her from killing me, I would never have imagined the real looters would then show up.  Its such a strange thing, like a horrible self fulfilling prophecy (I've tried this "power" with calling up good things, still waiting on those). The men advancing on us looked like the kind of unsavory sorts that you'd make up to scare children, not be real people who are somehow within Ronerawth territory (and not near a border, so they slipped across somehow without alerting ANYONE? Seems really confusing). I had the girls grab the horses and move them into the cave (at the time I was thinking for them to get eaten by something in the cave, I'm really cynical about horses I'll admit). Trix took her holsters off her horse and had them laid out flat in front of her, I'm sure there was a system there, but not being one to use different types of ammunition, I couldn't tell you what it was.

"Jara lay down a field of ice." A bullet wizzed past my ear, I didn't think they were close enough, but my almost gone ear seemed to say otherwise. Jara nodded and conjured a moderate bit of ice (she was still a novice at magic, despite having had some practice fighting the flesh creatures).

"Sara?"

"Burn them all down?" Sara was a bit over eager in the fire magic, which in a world that is afraid of magic users could get her killed, or at the very least locked up forever.

"No you don't have the skill to even approach that," I'll admit kind of an ass as a teacher, " Need you to burn the grass between us and them."

"And mess up our sightlines?" Trix seemed completely ok with the magical usage until it messed up her shooting.

"And theirs, what, are you worried about them getting close? I'll protect you."

"The protection of an old man with his daughters? Man I feel so safe, I don't even know why I brought a rifle." Her sarcasm was wounding, wounding, I may have even shed a tear.  Though that was more because of the smoke from the burning grass than actual sadness. I also didn't have time for a biting remark because the first looters had come through the ice and grass fire (I won't remark on what happened to the horses when they hit the ice, just think that they all went to sleep...) Trix did better than my expectation of hooker who stole someones horse and killed a couple right off the bat, one of them even exploded after the fact due to one of her weird bullets. I for my part didn't want to be shown up by a woman (not because I'm a sexist, because I'm self centered, in the story of Trezlan I am the main character, literally in the case of his journal).  I brought a couple down with pistol shots and then scorched a couple more.  I was about to trumpet my success when a couple of Trix's explosive bullets killed four guys entirely. We actually dealt with the looters so fast I didn't even have to reload (I say we, but I kind of really mean Trix did it much to my chagrin).

"You were waiting for those guys? They seem kind of buffoonish not that dangerous."

"Well they did have numbers, but you and your girls weren't entirely useless Trezlan."

"Thanks... I think?"

"Now if you'll excuse me Trezlan, I need to get back to doing what I was doing before you showed up."

"Turning tricks?" Cheap shots they are what I'm best at.

She scowled at me and Sara and Jara laughed (at least someone found it funny), "If you must know I'm looking for a relic here."

"Excellent so are we." I wasn't actually looking for anything, the ruins were supposed to be mostly empty and this was really a chance to get away from Ronerawths eyes and have the twins dig in something and not cause any harm to the real world. Alas as most of my plans what I wanted to happen, and what did happen were two vastly different things.  But thats for tomorrows entry!

Trix Me Once Shame On Me

"There's another horse there Trezlan." We were approaching the ruin (which was a couple columns and then a cave leading deeper in, so hardly a ruin more like a marked cave in the middle of a meadow) and Sara called out another horse happily eating grass.

"Thanks Sara I know I'm old, but I'm not blind," Never let the young make fun of your age, because once that starts forever will they do it.

"Thought you said looting is illegal in Ronerawth." That was Jara, they always rotated talking, it was kind of weird.

"It is illegal, though I don't see any guards posted here so its not like they can strictly enfore it or anything stay back." I dismounted and the twins stayed on their horses.  I had my sword and one of my revolvers (because I'm old fashioned) at the ready, but hoped it was just a couple or something that were out to find a secluded place to have sex and not be interrupted.

The strangers horse kind of dispelled that notion, I noticed a bandoleer loaded with rifle bullets, seemingly marked for different uses (some gunmen carry different kinds of ammo to use for different situations included magically enchanted bullets), and some supplies showing that whoever they were they came from far away and packed only for necessity. The twins wanted to speak up but I held my hand up and made my way to the mouth of the cave, I could see tracks in the dirt.  One pair, but it was hard to guage if that didn't just mean whoever was here had come single file (of course if I was a better tracker I'd have known that even walking single file more than one person has their feet closer together/on top of each other, where as these tracks were just spread apart for one person).

I drew my revolver and stepped inside, the cave was dark no torches lit up, so I had to go off ambient light from the day (it was around noon on a sunny day so I had that going for me).  By the time my eyes adjusted I was under the distinct impression someone was behind me, I turned around to be staring down the barrel of an ornamented rifle, the not grinning lady behind it told me all I needed to know about how much shit I was in.

"Lootings illegal in Ronerawth." I held my revolver hand up, though I still had my magic, her rifle looked like the sort to be enhanced to have my fire not do as bad, she could pull the trigger before I could burn her, and at this range it wouldn't matter what she hit.

"Are you telling me that so I can bring you in for a reward?" Voice was light, more of a singers than someone hardened riflelady, but the rifle spoke differently.

"Look one of us can be here and the other can't, so if I were you I'd put the rifle down, my back up is just outside."

"Trezlan! There are some men coming get out of there!" Sara and Jara in unison.

"Back up? They sound like kids."

"Never underestimate the effectiveness of children."

"Whatever, those men are what I'm here for, and since you stumbled into this, you'll be helping me now, the name's Trix, and I hope you're better with that pistol than you are with your bluffing." She took her rifle off me and we went outside the cave, Sara and Jara had dismounted and met me taking a moment to look at Trix, who was dressed a little light for the murdering (she had on a corset like blouse and a short skirt, looked more like a prostitute than a rifle lady).  The men the twins had called out looked like a pack of twenty, all hard charging on horses of their own and they had rifles and pistols brought to bear.

"Well shit." And the battle was joined.

Don't Let a Ruin Ruin a good Adventure

"Aren't you supposed to be helping a prince?" Sara was asking me from her position in our little convoy. I had bought the twins a couple of horses to go along with mine on our new adventure, they had both given them cutesy sounding names, I tried to not tell them in my experience horses didn't last long around me, because reality should never interfere with children.

"Nonesense I told them I needed a vacation and they agreed, so here we are off on adventure!" I was trying to give the girls a good time, despite their assertion it was fun at the circus, I just could not believe that.  So to show them a great time I was dragging them off to a dusty ruin that was within the new Prince's lands I had always wanted to check out, but never found the time.

"I don't see how a ruin is adventure..." That was Jara she was doing her best to freeze every insect we came across. Despite my insistence they be careful with their powers, they both tended to use magic more often they should.  I feared the corruption, but to their credit neither seemed afflicted.

"Ruins are full of adventure! Things to explore, learn, treasures to aquire, what little girl doesn't want to explore a musty old ruin?" I didn't have to see them both to see the look they were giving me was not one of confidence.

"Aren't they dangerous?" Sara again.

"Ha no, if they were dangerous they wouldn't be called a ruin Sara, because they are ruined! Now if they were called a complete or a functioning, then I'd be a bit more worried."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Doesn't it?"

"No." They said that in unison and I smirked.

"TO ADVENTURE!" And I kicked my horse forward forcing them to keep up.  The statement about ruins was a lie of course, they are very dangerous and lots of evil things are in them, but so are horses and the girls had no problem giving them stupid names! Besides this ruin wasn't even dangerous... the person we met there was the real problem.  But! That's for as always tomorrow!

Hello Traitor My Old Friend

My accomodations were better, the room was actually some kind of sitting room in the palace (I had been escorted to the capitol since incarceration, still shackled, so they weren't super polite, but since the rifle butt to my stomach I hadn't been assaulted).  The palace looked better from when I'd been here before, nice wooden book cases lined with books, the desk I'd been placed before was of solid construction with an elaborate carving on it.  I didn't think I was in the emperors sitting room, but probably some lesser official.  Which was a good sign.  There also weren't guards watching me, so all in all things were looking up.

The official I was waiting on showed up a couple hours after I'd been sitting in the room, he had a stack of papers with him and a hurried look on his face.  The suit he was wearing wasn't tailored very well and loooked cheap, implying he wasn't high up the food chain and had been given the assignment of dealing with me probably in retaliation for some other screw up.

"Trezlan Lorentino." He extended his hand and then took it back when he saw my shackles, I could almost hear the curse under his breath when he took his seat at the desk.  The chair was too big for him and he looked like a child in his dad's study.

"No named government guy who's going to tell me how things go."

"I see from our files on you, you have quite the history with Ronerawth, some could call you a hero and a traitor depending on how they view your record." He shuffled the papers trying to imply there was something of importance in them, to be honest the only record you need is in this journal.

"The same could be said of a lot of people, though most don't have my longevity."

"Yes I see that you are suspected of being some kind of Necromancer, whats that mean you sleep with the dead?" It was intended on being a joke, but it didn't bother me, I've heard it before.

"Well your mother has no complaints." Did I mention being an asshole is my favorite past time, because it totally is.

"Mr. Lorentino I took this meeting for your benefit, there are some that would see you executed for your actions." He was flustered, I guess mom jokes were not his thing.

"I can't really say I'm that worried about myself, ain't my first go round, hell even recently."

"Indeed, you have quite the recent record of treasonous activity, though you are also responsible for exposing the traitors, even if in the course of your actions you freed countless depraved murderers."

"Wasn't my intention, but you know sometimes you have to just get things done.  I might have been able to things with a bit less destruction if I had been included in the loop that the Prince was a true traitor, but instead I was set for execution."

"An unfortunate underestimation by someone who is now facing the gallows himself."

"Shame." It really wasn't, but you know you have to say that to be nice or something.

"You are being let go Mr. Lorentino, you'll be under observation obviously, but you'll be allowed to once again provie assitance to the prince of territory you seem to now live in, should you show signs of betrayal you'll be summarirly executed, no trial, no showy execution, just dropped to your knees and shot in the head. Am I clear?"

"Perfectly, one question?" I could see the perturbed look on his face, when I said I had a question but he allowed me my moment.

"Go ahead."

"Can I take a vacation?" He sighed and looked at me with contempt, and then left the room. A short time later a couple soldiers came in, undid my shackles and showed me out (back entrance probably used for mistresses and foreign diplomats who shouldn't actually be there, but were).  They did give me back my stuff, which was nice.  I would find out later all record of Leland and his band of shorties helping me was erased.  Officially I had become a deep cover operative with Ronerawth to take down traitors from within.  Leland for his part was given a deal to keep quiet and some crimes his circus had been accused of wiped off the books.  The twins were waiting for me back home when I got there, they had learned to steal things effectively (great use of their magical talents let me tell you) which caused me no end of trouble in the ensuing years (and money having to pay for the things they took).

All in all Ronerawth had welcomed me home with a boot to the face and I was quite displeased with the event, but on the plus side the new Prince was less of an ass than the old one, and I did get to see that jerk get ripped apart by horses for my trouble (I told you he came to a bad end). So it was like 50/50 between horrifically awful, and why do I even bother!

Don't Worry About Me Or Anything

Sleeping in chains in a basement is hard.  I mean I've had years of practice and still takes me a bit to adjust to all the different motions to get "comfortable" and then just when you do, something on your shackles ache or something.  Eventually you sleep, but its not really that restful and you wake up feeling tired and wanting the current situation to be over. In a way its like being in a bad relationship, except you can't simply break up with imprisonment (its not me its you).

I was actually surprised Leland wasn't complaining about the imprisonment more than I was until he just disappeared.  At first I thought maybe they had come down and collected him while I was sleeping, but I saw his shackles on the floor where he had been with me, so he clearly had picked the lock and just slipped off to go be somewhere else, the little jerk(-Nidget's Note- Leland explained this story a lot differently, he told me Trezlan agreed to stay behind while he went and got help, I'm more inclined to believe Trezlan's side of this story for now). I was actually worrying about what I was going to tell my captors when they came down and did not find Leland where they left him (my brilliant plan was to say I ate him, yes I realize it was a little dumb, but you never know people are afraid of magic users).

Turned out not to matter, because no sooner was I worrying about explaining Leland's absence than the warehouse was hit by what sounded like an artillery shell.  Which was my plan, though I'd hoped they wouldn't freaking shell the place! See I didn't exactly trust the Prince or his allies (shocking I know) and had pre betrayed them prior to our meeting (I had slipped off claiming to get supplies but really I wrote a letter and handed it to someone at my shop to deliver in case I didn't return within a day).  I was a bit surprised how long it took, but I guess my hand writing was hard to decipher (not that unbelieveable I'm sure you'll agree if you are "reading" this journal).  The explosions over head worried me though, because I was UNDER THEM! Sure the basement was probably going to cushion the impacts a bit, but it wasn't like I was underneath solid stone, it was just wood, and when the shells blew through that I'd be one unlucky hit away from being splattered.

The shelling only lasted a brief moment though (its amazing that an empire would treat traitors with such open disdain as to SHELL THEIR BUILDING, its almost like they don't appreciate them or something), then there was gunfire, thuds, and military boots hitting wooden floors.  The door to the cellar opened and men in purple uniforms came through it.  I stood up and welcomed them with my shackled hands.

"About time you guys got ooooffff" The ooof sound at the end of that was where one of the soldiers hit me in the gut with his rifle.

"Take him." Their commanding officer ordered a couple men to grab me and away I went.  See thats loyalty for you! Turn in some traitors and still get treated like one! I tell you next time I'm pretraying someone and staying the hell away from them!

Explain This to Me Again

"I'm lost."

"Of course you are Nidget, you're always lost, I think its a case of your smaller brain."

"First off, you're a dick, secondly, this story makes less sense than the one before it." I'm sure you're lost as well reader, this conversation the one I'm transcribing now took place a couple days ago.  Nidget, is my worker (he claims partner but that is not the case at all ever) he's also a Pavarossi, and we had some downtime and he asked me about previous family members I've run across, so I told him about the original Leland and this new incarnation.  Since I was also telling you journal I figured I'd include this petulant conversation, because I was incensed by his idiocy and felt it should be written down.

"What's not to get Nidget?" I was actually mystified, well not really, as I said Nidget is a bit of an idiot, take how he now works for me instead of being an independent thief like he used to be.  That's a story for another time.

"I'm just at a loss that Morley, to strike back at you, got some people paying higher taxes to start a revolution and convinced the Prince that you were working on to kill Morley, to turn against you and his own government over taxes? That's madness."

"That's what happened."

"I call total bullshit, more so than your normal yarns.  I can buy you being a necromancer, even that you killed a god, but this? This is completely insane." Nidget had more access to my life than I like to admit, I think he also reads my journal, in which case you are an asshole Nidget (-Nidgets note- And you're a liar this journal has so many things off with it I couldn't even begin to begin).

"Are you going to let me finish this story or rudely interrupt me at all turns?"

"Go on, I can't imagine how you'll make up a resolution to this one."

"Oh ye of little faith, I think it runs in your family."

"I was adopted."

"If only that were the truth." And so tomorrow I'll get back to my real story without Nidget ruining my mojo with his whining! (-Nidget's Note- Real bullshit story).

The Spice Traitors

"Going to be hard to betray these guys chained up down here."

"Hard but not impossible Leland, you have to have faith." The basement was pretty scary looking, which didn't make me think the spices being shipped out of here were in good shape, I'd seen two rats already.

"Faith in you? Oh glorious leader who has gotten us locked up twice so far due to his utter stupidity? We're so boned." Have I mentioned Lelands optimism? Because he was optimistic as all get out. We had been imprisoned for a couple hours before the gloating started, there was not a villain on this world that didn't love to talk about how they got one over on me, occaisionally they'd skip right to the trying to murder me stage, but thats always been a rarity.

"Enjoying your accomodations Lorentino?" Fatty fat came slowly down the stairs, a couple sneering lieutenants waited at the top.

"I've had worse, though the shackles are a bit tight, mind loosening them for me?" Worth a shot.

"I'm not an idiot." I bit my lip on this comment, because clearly he was, "And Morley made sure to warn me about dealing with you, but I have to admit I'm really intrigued as to why he warned me, you seem like a simpleton." Morley, I should have known, it all made sense that he would have found out about my plan to use the Prince to gain favor and take over Ronerawth all to get him killed, so of course he using my plan against me.

"Where is Morley nowadays, just you know for my personal knowledge." I hadn't been able to get a bead on him for a while, not that I'd really tried mind you, but still if I had a shot I wanted to know at least where to fire it...

"Ha and to think he was worried you'd kill me." When he laughed the fat guys gut moved like the ocean, though I think the ocean had less dirt on it.

"I just want you to know we are not together." Leland again showed me some of that faith from earlier.

"You'll speak when spoken to shorty! He is at least protected, you are not.  Come to think of it I think we have a rack still set up somewhere..."

"Should have kept quiet Leland." I whispered to him while Fatty looked distracted.

"I hate you so much Trezlan."

"You both should keep quiet! Morley mentioned I'm not to kill you Lorentino, that doesn't mean I can't make you suffer."

"Keep talking like that chubbs and I won't be so nice when our positions are reversed." I'd say he left in a huff and ran up the stairs, but he was so fat it took him quite a while to get up the stairs.  Which caused me and Leland to laugh pretty heartily. I did learn that Morley was involved, and that he didn't want me killed (nice of him to say, I wouldn't extend the same courtesy to him!) Though I didn't learn much about the spice traitors themselves.  Oh well, I did have a plan to get myself out of there, though I didn't know if it was going to work in time, such is the problem with plans you just set in motion instead of actually exercising them yourself.  You have to hope others are as smart as you, and for me thats never the case.

Patriot Is Just Another Word For Asshole

You would think a couple traitors in a civilized country like Ronerawth would find it harder to move away from an arid land, find some horses, and integrate into society again to meet up with some fellow traitors.  Surpringly this is completely not the case. In fact our journey was very uneventful following getting out of the dust storm.  We did see some of the Ronerawth military, but they appeared to be chasing some guys on horses (most likely prisoners) and paid us no attention.

It was probably some kind of great cosmic joke that the "Patriots" that the Prince was associated with were based out of Rolak.  I mean the city had once already been the scene of traitors (at this point they actually were patriots) that through their siege had actually caused a revolution.  So perhaps that was the thought behind the modern day morons that now lead the charge here. I have to say I was a bit thankful the idiots were meeting away from my shops part of town, because the Ronerawth military wasn't exactly known for their precise dealing with militants and if property was going to get damaged I didn't want it to be my damn shop (even though I wasn't listed as the owner anymore, I still made quite a bit of money from sales).

The "Patriots" (you'll see why I keep putting this in quotes in just a moment) were based out of a spice warehouse (naturally). It was funny to me, but they were actually still selling spices out of the warehouse, so its not like it was just a front, they were truely spice salesman! Now I'm not an idiot (despite many many entries to the contrary obviously), but I could see immediately why this group was concerned with Taxes.  Spices in Ronerawth were a premium, and the taxes on them were extremely high because of their premium status (especially foreign spices), so these spice merchants, feeling the pinch (HA!) decided to start a war to lower their burden.  It was hilarious in its selfish stupidity.

"Prince you are safe!" The leader of this band was a girthy man who didn't look like he could even hold a weapon let alone fire one. He moved so slow and with such deliberate motion it took him several minutes to make it from one side of a room to another. His clothing (which looked ratty despite being fairly wealthy) was a brown shirt with sweat stains, dirty apron, and slacks stretched to their breaking point.  I'll admit upon seeing him my first thought was he was going to be decapitated by the hanging (because I'm sick).

"Martin! These men rescued me and our willing to add to our cause!" He was pleased to see me, but I could see the way he and his men had looked and Leland, they were not happy to see him.  Hating shorties is something a lot of Ronerawth citizens did, I have no idea why really (I'm not a huge fan of the little buggers, but thats more on individual basis, not like a whole group hatred).

"Trezlan Lorentino, I've heard of you." I didn't realize the hand motion, but I did feel the club that collided with the back of my skull and brought me to my knees.  The sound of shackles locking around my wrists was also an indication that things just went from bad to worse, as if things for me ever go some other way.

The Traitor of my Traitor is my Friend

"So its like this these guys approached me about the tyranny we live in." We had started moving again, the dust storm was still going on, but it had lessened enough for me to feel safe I wouldn't die (after the Princes revelation well I wasn't that fond of him surviving anymore).

"We live in an empire my liege, by default its kind of a tyranny, you're freaking royalty yourself." Leland was thankfully keeping quiet because only one of us should be an asshole to someone who we just risked our lives to doom ourselves over.

"The Emperor is insane Trezlan! He's demanding higher taxes and building roads and rail stations! Don't you understand he's connecting the empire so he can demand even higher taxes!"

"You were convinced to go against the royalty that supports you, because your subjects paid higher taxes to fund things that benefit them?" If I wasn't using my hand to keep a torn piece of cloth across my mouth so I wasn't literally eating dust I'd have been rubbing my forehead so hard SO HARD!

"That's how tyranny starts Trezlan, first it seems like things you want, or is actually things you want, and then suddenly everything you have is a result of the government allowing you to have it."

"You're a member of the Royalty! Of course everything you have is a result of the government you idiot." I couldn't hold it in, it was so stupid he was giving me a head ache.

"This isn't about me Trezlan, they've already wrapped me in their tyrannical tendrils, no this is about my subjects, they are the ones who are at risk, thats what this group told me." I knew he was easy to bend to one side, but this madness was beyond just suicidal, it was amazingly dumb. I hope I don't have to explain to you how stupid these thoughts are gentle reader of my diary, because if I do STOP READING NOW!

"I didn't even think about that my liege, are your patriots still free?"

"Yes I believe they are, when you two showed up I thought you were them coming to save me." A plan was forming in my mind already.

"Excellent, ok well if we are going to overthrow the government we'll have to do this right my liege, an actual plan and execution, I have some contacts we can utilize. Soon enough we'll give this country the government it really deserves!"

"Fantastic Trezlan."

"Excuse me while I discuss with my associate here about getting his people to arrange for our plan."

"Of course, don't want to hurt your operation in case I get caught again." The Prince strode forward like a general just told of a new victory, I leaned down to Leland and even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was smiling.

"You are going to betray him and his group of idiots to buy yourself out of being a traitor aren't you?"

"Exactly."

"Good, because if you weren't I toally was."

"I'd expect nothing less of you Leland." And thus our plan to stop being traitors was back on track, after we betrayed someone we had just saved to betray.  Look it was kind of complicated, but like all of my plans, there was a plan within a plan that had its own plan that liked the word plan. I'm clever like that.

Crater Conversations

Turns out blasting the crap out of a dusty plain tends to cause a dust storm.  I know crazy right? Now it could have just been a lucky break for my small crew or what have you, but even if they were planning on checking to see if they splattered us, the dust storm howling above our crater made that almost impossible. It also made leaving hard, because they might actually be out there, and the dust storm would make walking off a cliff, into an ambush, or travel in general, a real bitch.

"So we're going to just die here?" Leland again being his so optimistic self.

"We aren't going to die, well I'm not going to die, you two definately will, but thats a long term thing." Sometimes I have to remind others of their mortality and my lack of it, because well I'm a dick.

"Trezlan I thank you for saving me from execution, but whats the point if we die out here?" The prince, who's voice sounded hoarse from the running for his life and being out of shape (damn Monarchs and their lives of luxury).

"We aren't dying out here, we are waiting this out this storm, then we'll meet up with Leland's circus and start to working on getting your name cleared for treason." I had a plan, there's always a plan with me, even a bad plan, is still a plan!

"One problem with that." The Prince of course just couldn't accept my glorious plan, he had to gum it up with facts.

"Oh yeah whats that?"

"I am guilty of treason." I could see Leland slamming his palm into his face pretty hard.  I had to keep my contempt in check. I'd figured he was stupid, easily lead (hell look at how I got into his good graces to begin with!) but treasonous? Thats beyond stupid and easily lead! That's suicidal and brain dead!  Needless to say our problem just got a whole lot worse.  Because we just went from accused traitors, to actually being real ones.  Something you'd think there'd be a bigger warning about or something right?

Shelling Shellacking

Modern artillery (I say modern even though this particular artillery barrage was about seventy five years ago, but sadly due to some stupidity technology hasn't really advanced that much since then at least with killing weaponry) is terrifying.  Gone were the days of unwieldy cannons and inaccurate fire and hope for the best aiming.  Now the damn things had easy to transport wheels on them with aiming devices that could drop a shell within a foot of the target.  Also the shells themselves were a modern marvel, self contained explosive devices that could be loaded and fired without the need of seperate black powder charges. So they were easy to move to a spot, accurate, and rapid fire. Which explained why the train was annihilated in mere moments and why Leland, myself, and the Prince were fleeing as fast as our feet could carry us and super heated explosives landed from the sky all around us.

"This is a great rescue." The prince was already tired from our short run, hell Leland was in better shape and his legs were half as long.

"You're welcome, you know I always wondered what running from artillery would feel like, this is exhilirating." I was trying to be optimistic.

"Shut up Trezlan." Leland of course did not find my optimism a good thing of course. I don't even know if the artillery people knew who we were or they were just firing in our general direction to be dicks (it also didn't help that we were in the flattest most open bit of terrain in the area.  No gullys, caves, or anything to dive into, the only features were the blast craters from previous shell hits, which of course gave me an idea.

"Quick this way." I started to run back to where the shells had already hit, surpringly Leland and the Prince followed me (I guess they weren't as smart as they both claimed!).  I waited for the next volley to hit near us and then threw both of them into a nearby crater with myself, the shell that hit nearby covered us in dirt.

"Way to go Trezlan you put us in a place THEY ALREADY SHOT!" That was Leland not seeing the genius of my plan.

"Of course Leland, and like lightening it won't strike twice here, no what they'll assume is they blew us to little itty bitty pieces and stop firing." He was about to say something snarky and stupid when the artillery stopped firing.

"I hate you Trezlan." Thats the sound of gratitude, that's the sound of saving someones life, thats the sound of regret getting involved with Trezlan Lorentino!

You Say Doomed Like Its A Bad Thing

"WAKE UP TREZLAN!" The Prince was shaking me like he was terrified he was about to die (which in all likely hood he was about to die, but you know still rude!).  The train had stopped moving, which was good, ole one eye was still seated across from us, which was bad.

"Are we there already? Wonderful, tell the steward to get my bags." Always be an asshole in the face of immenent danger, I mean why else be in danger other than you know bad choices and a lifestyle of complete failure.

"We are so dead." Leland giving his seal of approval for our actions.  I'd tell the guy to lighten up, but he's already a shorty, if anything he should have eaten more.

"Both of you silence, I'm kind of groggy, cabin boy," I called out to one eye, he gave me a snarl, "Look tramp you should be nicer to your betters, do my taxes not pay your salary?!" I mocked outrage which only seemed to anger the bulk in front of me.

"Be quiet or I'll make you be quiet." Threatening someone with physical violence to keep them quiet seems like a bad idea, I mean by hurting them they are going to scream.

"Shut up Trezlan!" Both Leland and the Prince were in unison against my idea.

"I will not be silent in the face of this insolence! Look steward you serve at our pleasure, and right now good sir I feel no pleasure!"

"That's it you pompous fool." He dropped the shotgun and fished out a key to our cage. The cage rattled open and one eye burned alive (look they didn't shackle me, and I had been waiting for that moment), both the Prince and Leland looked at me with horror.

"Look he was going to hurt me, burning him alive is the least I could do." I stepped over his ashes and retrieved our things from they'd left them (how nice of the crimimals to leave our stuff right near our cell, in the future I'll recommend that to all my jailors). Thanks to the train being stopped we were able to exit with little issue (no other prisoners were around). When we got outside it was obvious why that was.  I looked to the front of the train and the Ronerawth military had erected a nice barricade complete with artillery (I guess they were literally planning on blowing the train to little bits).

"Crap, maybe we should you know board the train and pretend we didn't see this." Both Leland and the Prince gave me an ugly glare and then the shelling began and things got a little crazy.