The thing I've found over my hundreds of years of existence is that no matter what happens things move on without you. No one is super important in the grand scheme of anything. It seems entirely defeatist to admit, even as someone like myself who directly influencd all kinds of horrible things sometimes accidentally, sometimes on purpose. But I know even without me pushing something, or kicking something over, this kind of thing would have resolved itself eventually. Sure thousands more may have died, but hey lets not pretend thousands don't die because they didn't have proper sanitation or something (I heard about a city like that up north, they claimed it was some poison, I'm betting it was just bad sewers).
All of this to say of course that the lands of the Guard (they need a country name so far thats not happened, or if it has I have not heard it, but then again the Red Hand didn't have a name either, lazy bastards) moved on past the war and things got into routine. Well to an extent, the lands were broken horribly, the railway lines while getting reparied were subject to bandits and monster attacks (seriously the railways had to hire on mercenaries specifically to counter act both groups and they are STILL LOSING TRAINS!). And of course I was still in the area causing trouble, well in this case yelling at builders for shoddy worksmanship and being a nuisance.
It would be a few weeks before my shop opened, but of course that was just the first of several problems that immediately propped up. Including that annoying Captain Therod, who's nick name was "The Red" and it wasn't just because her sword was red, well it was because it was, but it was more that the sword was red with blood. Ok ok look I'll get more into this tommorrow, naturally, thats my thing.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Captain Therod
"Lorentino?" It was early, the woman in front of me was clearly a member of the Guard (the abysmal powder blue uniform was a big hint). I was staying in a hotel still, having recently put down too much of my shiny metals to secure some builders (contruction workers are the real criminals after a war, they gouge the crap out of everyone). The woman was tall and broad shouldered though not quite as big as Marian, she had a pistol on her hip (though from the positioning clearly she never used it, way too far back in the holster to be drawn reliably) and a red handled broadsword on her back (the handle was worn the more used weapon), black hair pale complexion, nasty scar running from just under her chin down to her collarbone, like a failed decapitation.
"That's what they call me," Always be polite to people knocking on your door early, especially authority figures who are armed.
"Captain Therod, I'm the leader of the garrison here assigned for city law enforcement." No hand just a statement. She had a name tag that said Therod over her left breast, but it looked newly sewn on, as did the marks of captain she wore.
"Pleasure to meet you Captain, just introducing yourself to everyone?"
"You marked on your citizenship papers you consider yourself a powerful magic user." Naturally the guy did warn me I was subject to stricter enforcement.
"Numerically I believe I said five, but to be perfectly honest I don't think thats a fair accounting of my skills." Yeah I was bragging I'll admit.
"I'm here to warn you that magic is strictly forbidden in the offensive terms, if you use it to harm another you are subject to summary execution, understood?" She had tensed, I got the feeling she was prepared for the summary execution part more so than I would have liked.
"Understood Captain, but what if I have to use my magic in self defense are their no provisions for that?"
"Your defense is carried out by the Guard Mr. Lorentino, should you feel threatened we will have a precence in the city."
"Delightful, and will the Guard continue to use military officers to run their law enforcement? Or will you turn that over to civlians at some point?"
"Good day Mr. Lorentino." She, didn't turn to even address my question, which in a way was an answer; clearly a no. That would be the first of several encounters with Captain Therod who did not like me and wanted that to be known immediately, she suspected I was a bad person and only sought to harm everyone I was involved with. Completely a lie, I only seek to harm half the people I'm involved with and only the half that deserves it!
"That's what they call me," Always be polite to people knocking on your door early, especially authority figures who are armed.
"Captain Therod, I'm the leader of the garrison here assigned for city law enforcement." No hand just a statement. She had a name tag that said Therod over her left breast, but it looked newly sewn on, as did the marks of captain she wore.
"Pleasure to meet you Captain, just introducing yourself to everyone?"
"You marked on your citizenship papers you consider yourself a powerful magic user." Naturally the guy did warn me I was subject to stricter enforcement.
"Numerically I believe I said five, but to be perfectly honest I don't think thats a fair accounting of my skills." Yeah I was bragging I'll admit.
"I'm here to warn you that magic is strictly forbidden in the offensive terms, if you use it to harm another you are subject to summary execution, understood?" She had tensed, I got the feeling she was prepared for the summary execution part more so than I would have liked.
"Understood Captain, but what if I have to use my magic in self defense are their no provisions for that?"
"Your defense is carried out by the Guard Mr. Lorentino, should you feel threatened we will have a precence in the city."
"Delightful, and will the Guard continue to use military officers to run their law enforcement? Or will you turn that over to civlians at some point?"
"Good day Mr. Lorentino." She, didn't turn to even address my question, which in a way was an answer; clearly a no. That would be the first of several encounters with Captain Therod who did not like me and wanted that to be known immediately, she suspected I was a bad person and only sought to harm everyone I was involved with. Completely a lie, I only seek to harm half the people I'm involved with and only the half that deserves it!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Finally Legal
"Name?" I was seated at a desk in a large room full of desks and over worked beaurocrats like the one across from me, he was chewing on an unlit cigar and looking bored to be there, in front of him was my paperwork, in a basket next to my paperwork were hundreds like it. You'd be surprised how suddenly immigration spikes after a war, almost like criminals from another country feel its best to move to a new one shortly after no one can verify who they are any more.
"Trezlan Lorentino." I'd been waiting two days to establish my citizenship, I also needed a plot of land to build a store and the corresponding permits for that. Despite my disdain for government I always follow their rules initially, its only after you become a real citizen do you start ignoring that. He didn't raise an eyebrow at my name just wrote it down.
"Age?"
"Thirty two." Total lie of course, to be honest I have no idea how old I am anymore.
"Do you possess magical aptitude? And if so how would you rate your ability on a 1 to 5 scale, 1 being little aptitude, 5 being major."
"5."
"You realize by stating you are a 5 this means you are subject to monitoring from the Guard? This is not something to brag about." Again always honest early on, because its better than getting caught in a lie.
"I'm not bragging sir, just disclosing." To be honest though five was entirely too low for my ability. He scribbled down something and then stamped something else next to it, probably a follow up marker.
"I see here you look to start a business, what type of business?"
"Apparel, antinques and fire arms, I'm a licensed Hanlon dealer." There actually wasn't a license for dealing Hanlon weaponry, but if there was I'd totally have one. At the mention of Hanlon he perked up a little bit, in the Guard territories they knew where their bread was buttered.
"Always can use more gun stores." He stamped something else on the form and then turned the page. There were other questions, some discussion about location (my store would have to be located outside the city proper in a new immigrant section that was currently being constructed, more wood less stone, but it was fine to me I knew how cities worked, and what at one time was land no one wanted would soon be the middle of a new economic hub.
He finished my paperwork and stood up, "Welcome to the Guard lands Citizen Lorentino, in a few weeks someone will be buy with your citizenship papers." And just like that I was legal all over again. It occured to me despite living in Ronerawth for centuries I never actually took on citizenship, just kind of assumed I was one. And so did Ronerawth up until my exile. But here in the new country I was a full citizen with papers on the way. It felt weird, of course what I'd really done was agree to being put into a ledger somewhere so that years later someone can track me down, but you know at the time I was rather happy to do something actually fully legal. Not that I'd stay that way, but it was nice.
"Trezlan Lorentino." I'd been waiting two days to establish my citizenship, I also needed a plot of land to build a store and the corresponding permits for that. Despite my disdain for government I always follow their rules initially, its only after you become a real citizen do you start ignoring that. He didn't raise an eyebrow at my name just wrote it down.
"Age?"
"Thirty two." Total lie of course, to be honest I have no idea how old I am anymore.
"Do you possess magical aptitude? And if so how would you rate your ability on a 1 to 5 scale, 1 being little aptitude, 5 being major."
"5."
"You realize by stating you are a 5 this means you are subject to monitoring from the Guard? This is not something to brag about." Again always honest early on, because its better than getting caught in a lie.
"I'm not bragging sir, just disclosing." To be honest though five was entirely too low for my ability. He scribbled down something and then stamped something else next to it, probably a follow up marker.
"I see here you look to start a business, what type of business?"
"Apparel, antinques and fire arms, I'm a licensed Hanlon dealer." There actually wasn't a license for dealing Hanlon weaponry, but if there was I'd totally have one. At the mention of Hanlon he perked up a little bit, in the Guard territories they knew where their bread was buttered.
"Always can use more gun stores." He stamped something else on the form and then turned the page. There were other questions, some discussion about location (my store would have to be located outside the city proper in a new immigrant section that was currently being constructed, more wood less stone, but it was fine to me I knew how cities worked, and what at one time was land no one wanted would soon be the middle of a new economic hub.
He finished my paperwork and stood up, "Welcome to the Guard lands Citizen Lorentino, in a few weeks someone will be buy with your citizenship papers." And just like that I was legal all over again. It occured to me despite living in Ronerawth for centuries I never actually took on citizenship, just kind of assumed I was one. And so did Ronerawth up until my exile. But here in the new country I was a full citizen with papers on the way. It felt weird, of course what I'd really done was agree to being put into a ledger somewhere so that years later someone can track me down, but you know at the time I was rather happy to do something actually fully legal. Not that I'd stay that way, but it was nice.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Toll My Toll Tollers
Four of them, the road was pretty rough, but compared to the country side it was a well plowed field (thus making it more difficult to try and escape, not that my overloaded cart could get anywhere very fast). Two were normal looking ruffians, ripped clothes, hadn't bathed in a while, hair poorly matted. The other two were a reminder of the horrors of the Red Hand, they were Corrupted. Not in the way that they were magic users who had gone insane, no they had magic worked into them to make them more dangerous opponents (harder to kill, body parts twisted into claws or slashing tendrils). These two had one normal arm and one huge cudgel of twisted broken flesh that looked like a club mixed with a rotten tree branch. Their guns were all in pretty poor shape, which made sense the men were in bad shape!
"Toll Road." The lead speaker had about five teeth in his head, and of those five they were just about rotten.
"Ahhh yes of course I can see the toll is really going to road maintance well." The road was barely that as I said earlier, it had large gaps of broken terrain and everytime my cart had bumped I feared I'd break an axl or something.
"Its a work in progress sir." He said sir like Suh, but I don't abide by that idiocy in my writing.
"Of course times are tough and you have very little funds to fix it, hence the toll! I totally understand, now which type of currency do you fine gentleman take so that I may pay you and be on my way." I had no intention on paying anyone, but I did misplace my revolver earlier during a bathroom break and I was frantically trying to find it without it being obvious thats what I was doing. Why not use magic Trezlan? Because, that's why, also embarrasingly I'd kind of extended myself the day earlier burnning random things in my otherwise uneventful journey, look you get bored riding broken trails by yourself, and boredom leads to burning things.
"What?" The leader shifted uncomfortably, apparently he had not thought his otherwise foolproof plan through.
"Currency my good tollers! Coin, precious metals, jewels? Clearly you must take something for your toll! I don't assume the Guard has paper currency yet, and if they do I'm sadly lacking it." I kept looking for that damn revolver but it seemed to have dissappeared, my sword was likewise somewhere else. I admit my packing is particularly awful.
"Don't be moving too much up there." That was one of the corrupted his words were slurred by what sounded like something deep in his throat, which probably was the truth. I had found my pistol though, so I was able to shift back to the front of my wagon and put my hands up, the revolver nicely concealed in my lap by my robe.
"Sorry I was locating what I was planning on giving you for your toll!" They snickered and then I fired, I'll admit I'd gotten better with a pistol in my time of being with the Followers of Fire (it was the only thing I did consistently aside from bitch that I was stuck with a group of religious zealots). Three of the shots were through the head, and the last was a throat shot (not on purpose my aim slipped a bit) the corrupted I hit through the throat went wide eyed as blackish blood poured from the wound and then collapsed on the road. In a way I felt kind of bad, simple bandits didn't exactly deserve death, but who knows who else would run across these vagabonds and if I left them alive I'd be kind of responsible for their deaths, sort of (I have a very vague sense of morality).
Happily these bandits were the only thing I ran across in my otherwise bumpy horrible ride to Rosetia. I was mildly surprised I didn't run across some creature from a forgotten pit of evil, but as my life would later prove, thats because they were waiting for me to get situated first! Such is the nature of life, your terrors want you to be comfortable before they assault you.
"Toll Road." The lead speaker had about five teeth in his head, and of those five they were just about rotten.
"Ahhh yes of course I can see the toll is really going to road maintance well." The road was barely that as I said earlier, it had large gaps of broken terrain and everytime my cart had bumped I feared I'd break an axl or something.
"Its a work in progress sir." He said sir like Suh, but I don't abide by that idiocy in my writing.
"Of course times are tough and you have very little funds to fix it, hence the toll! I totally understand, now which type of currency do you fine gentleman take so that I may pay you and be on my way." I had no intention on paying anyone, but I did misplace my revolver earlier during a bathroom break and I was frantically trying to find it without it being obvious thats what I was doing. Why not use magic Trezlan? Because, that's why, also embarrasingly I'd kind of extended myself the day earlier burnning random things in my otherwise uneventful journey, look you get bored riding broken trails by yourself, and boredom leads to burning things.
"What?" The leader shifted uncomfortably, apparently he had not thought his otherwise foolproof plan through.
"Currency my good tollers! Coin, precious metals, jewels? Clearly you must take something for your toll! I don't assume the Guard has paper currency yet, and if they do I'm sadly lacking it." I kept looking for that damn revolver but it seemed to have dissappeared, my sword was likewise somewhere else. I admit my packing is particularly awful.
"Don't be moving too much up there." That was one of the corrupted his words were slurred by what sounded like something deep in his throat, which probably was the truth. I had found my pistol though, so I was able to shift back to the front of my wagon and put my hands up, the revolver nicely concealed in my lap by my robe.
"Sorry I was locating what I was planning on giving you for your toll!" They snickered and then I fired, I'll admit I'd gotten better with a pistol in my time of being with the Followers of Fire (it was the only thing I did consistently aside from bitch that I was stuck with a group of religious zealots). Three of the shots were through the head, and the last was a throat shot (not on purpose my aim slipped a bit) the corrupted I hit through the throat went wide eyed as blackish blood poured from the wound and then collapsed on the road. In a way I felt kind of bad, simple bandits didn't exactly deserve death, but who knows who else would run across these vagabonds and if I left them alive I'd be kind of responsible for their deaths, sort of (I have a very vague sense of morality).
Happily these bandits were the only thing I ran across in my otherwise bumpy horrible ride to Rosetia. I was mildly surprised I didn't run across some creature from a forgotten pit of evil, but as my life would later prove, thats because they were waiting for me to get situated first! Such is the nature of life, your terrors want you to be comfortable before they assault you.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
On The Road Again Again
I hate having to travel by carriage. Even more so when that carriage is overloaded with all of my stuff and happened to have been packaged by me (I'm a terrible packer). So you can picture me leading this horse drawn cart over mostly just rubble strewn roads (remember a war had just been fought in the new lands of the Guard) cursing at the fortune that I had been dealt. Honestly I had no idea where I was going, it had been literally centuries since I had been an actively living person in the hole that was the country I found myself in, and most of the places I knew about were either destroyed, changed, or destoryanged (its a word).
So of course I found myself gravitating towards Rosetia, at the very least I'd been there before and I kind of knew Valrym even if he hated me (to know Lorentino is to hate him). Though I didn't know how the city had faired in the war, I figured it would be first in line for restoration post war due to it being a trade destination years previous. I was a bit worried though, because it wasn't exactly a short journey, and the War had turned most of the land between the divide and civilization into broken twisted areas filled with creatures best to never have seen the light of day, and bandits hoping to make a quick buck off people hoping to make it rich on the rebuilding (like myself for example).
So picture me in my overloaded carriage on empy broken roads hoping to make it to a city before something bad happened. Yeah you can probably imagine where the next entry will go, but I'm going to delay it becuase I'm a jerk like that (aren't you lucky?)
So of course I found myself gravitating towards Rosetia, at the very least I'd been there before and I kind of knew Valrym even if he hated me (to know Lorentino is to hate him). Though I didn't know how the city had faired in the war, I figured it would be first in line for restoration post war due to it being a trade destination years previous. I was a bit worried though, because it wasn't exactly a short journey, and the War had turned most of the land between the divide and civilization into broken twisted areas filled with creatures best to never have seen the light of day, and bandits hoping to make a quick buck off people hoping to make it rich on the rebuilding (like myself for example).
So picture me in my overloaded carriage on empy broken roads hoping to make it to a city before something bad happened. Yeah you can probably imagine where the next entry will go, but I'm going to delay it becuase I'm a jerk like that (aren't you lucky?)
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Justice Is Blind, Stupid, And Insulting
I mentioned I got exiled, its been one of those things I debated even really talking about other than, "Yes I'm no longer allowed in Ronerawth for the foreseeable future". In the interest of fairness and the fact that I have no sugar coated any of the rest of this boring melodrama (so much boring, so much melodrama). So I'll briefly go over the reasoning behind the more permanent exile that I'm now currently under.
So the war post Black Cliff was a series of losses for the Red Hand leading up to the sacking of the capitol and the fleeing of the surviving councilman (including Morley, I was really sad he didn't end up drawn and quartered like a couple other council people ended up). I confident the conflict was over reported dutifully to the divide and was promptly arrested again! I tell you I have no idea why I want to go back to Ronerawth I just keep getting arrested (though again my longest actual prison stay is still in the former lands of the Red Hand, so far no long term imprisonment with the Guard despite them not liking magical people and I am one of the worst offenders in all categories). I figured this was just a formality I'd get back everyone would glad hand me, there would be some back room "don't do this again" and then we'd be all cool.
No, this is not what happened. Instead I was marched in front of another judge (not given the option to speak this time naturally) and promptly exiled for my supporting of enemies (exiled not executed, because again everyone in Ronerawth benefited from my supporting enemies). They told me it was for a life time, which had me snickering because maybe their lifetimes, but certainly not mine. My property was sold off (they kept the profits naturally) and all my stuff loaded into crates to be shipped up north. I was given a couple horses and a wagon and a couple weeks to get gone.
So yeah that was my exile from Ronerawth because Toneron Hanlon is a bit of a dick. To be fair he too got exiled, but Hanlon isn't a real person the way I and possibly you are, so I think his exile is even less important than my own. Still now you know the whole sordid story. Exciting right? No? Well than you need to hear more about recent history! Much more fun than all that boring half remembered stuff!
So the war post Black Cliff was a series of losses for the Red Hand leading up to the sacking of the capitol and the fleeing of the surviving councilman (including Morley, I was really sad he didn't end up drawn and quartered like a couple other council people ended up). I confident the conflict was over reported dutifully to the divide and was promptly arrested again! I tell you I have no idea why I want to go back to Ronerawth I just keep getting arrested (though again my longest actual prison stay is still in the former lands of the Red Hand, so far no long term imprisonment with the Guard despite them not liking magical people and I am one of the worst offenders in all categories). I figured this was just a formality I'd get back everyone would glad hand me, there would be some back room "don't do this again" and then we'd be all cool.
No, this is not what happened. Instead I was marched in front of another judge (not given the option to speak this time naturally) and promptly exiled for my supporting of enemies (exiled not executed, because again everyone in Ronerawth benefited from my supporting enemies). They told me it was for a life time, which had me snickering because maybe their lifetimes, but certainly not mine. My property was sold off (they kept the profits naturally) and all my stuff loaded into crates to be shipped up north. I was given a couple horses and a wagon and a couple weeks to get gone.
So yeah that was my exile from Ronerawth because Toneron Hanlon is a bit of a dick. To be fair he too got exiled, but Hanlon isn't a real person the way I and possibly you are, so I think his exile is even less important than my own. Still now you know the whole sordid story. Exciting right? No? Well than you need to hear more about recent history! Much more fun than all that boring half remembered stuff!
Monday, July 23, 2012
The Massacre At Black Cliff
Decisive actions are normally very brutal. The idea being you want to crush your enemies in one fell swoop and break their spirits as well as their ability to wage war. The problem with this strategy is that your enemy is also doing the same damn thing back to you! So generally you have two sides fighting small little battles hoping to catch the other in a devastating maneuver crushing their army, all the while hoping to avoid having the same thing done to them!
Which brings us to the Massacre at Black Cliff. You can tell from the name of it, that it wasn't exactly a small battle with limited casualties. It was the battle thats noted for "winning the war" but the cost was fairly high for the Guard forces. Black cliff, is technically a canyon with a gully (so like most things incorrectly named, it should be Black Gully). There is a river running down the middle of it, and during the rainy season the canyon itself is flooded. Not exactly a tourist destination, but a good place for merchants to hold up in a storm. The cliffs themselves are difficult to scale and full of loose rocks for people to slip and fall to their deaths on, which made it not an ideal spot for an ambush, or at least appear not to be one anyway.
Preceeding the massacre the Red Hand had just routed the Guard at a nearby township, or I should they thought they had. Again setting up a crushing victory requires sacrifice and so the Guard came up with the ultimate gambit, they sacrificed a large number of soldiers in a pointless battle to bring the Red Hand running towards Black Cliff (in pursuit). And while the Guard was suffering casualties the Followers of Fire had not and were ringed around the entire cliff with some of their best sharp shooters ready to rain down death (brought to you by Hanlon's new super accurate rifle) on everyone in the canyon. On top of that, the river in the canyon had been doused with flammable liquid, that the Red Hand forces were splooshing their way through after the Guard forces (and wouldn't you know it there was a fire magical user nearby to ignite all those freshly dosed people...).
To call it a massacre is understating things. The entire Red Hand force was trapped in a canyon of death, and annihilated. Much of the Guard force in the Canyon also suffered high casualties as well (due to the chaos and the flammable liquid, but they went in there knowing that would happen). Any Red Hand forces attempting to flee were met by a reserve of Guard forces also armed with Hanlon weaponry. Overall this was the battle that won the war. It took a long time and a lot of dead people, but it was all over.
I was delighted I'd get to go home, unfortunately thats where my troubles began, and how I wound up in the damned Guard terroties subject to ridiculous rules! Its funny how often my life goes from joy to suck! I'D LAUGH IF I DIDN'T CRY ALL THE TIME!
Which brings us to the Massacre at Black Cliff. You can tell from the name of it, that it wasn't exactly a small battle with limited casualties. It was the battle thats noted for "winning the war" but the cost was fairly high for the Guard forces. Black cliff, is technically a canyon with a gully (so like most things incorrectly named, it should be Black Gully). There is a river running down the middle of it, and during the rainy season the canyon itself is flooded. Not exactly a tourist destination, but a good place for merchants to hold up in a storm. The cliffs themselves are difficult to scale and full of loose rocks for people to slip and fall to their deaths on, which made it not an ideal spot for an ambush, or at least appear not to be one anyway.
Preceeding the massacre the Red Hand had just routed the Guard at a nearby township, or I should they thought they had. Again setting up a crushing victory requires sacrifice and so the Guard came up with the ultimate gambit, they sacrificed a large number of soldiers in a pointless battle to bring the Red Hand running towards Black Cliff (in pursuit). And while the Guard was suffering casualties the Followers of Fire had not and were ringed around the entire cliff with some of their best sharp shooters ready to rain down death (brought to you by Hanlon's new super accurate rifle) on everyone in the canyon. On top of that, the river in the canyon had been doused with flammable liquid, that the Red Hand forces were splooshing their way through after the Guard forces (and wouldn't you know it there was a fire magical user nearby to ignite all those freshly dosed people...).
To call it a massacre is understating things. The entire Red Hand force was trapped in a canyon of death, and annihilated. Much of the Guard force in the Canyon also suffered high casualties as well (due to the chaos and the flammable liquid, but they went in there knowing that would happen). Any Red Hand forces attempting to flee were met by a reserve of Guard forces also armed with Hanlon weaponry. Overall this was the battle that won the war. It took a long time and a lot of dead people, but it was all over.
I was delighted I'd get to go home, unfortunately thats where my troubles began, and how I wound up in the damned Guard terroties subject to ridiculous rules! Its funny how often my life goes from joy to suck! I'D LAUGH IF I DIDN'T CRY ALL THE TIME!
Friday, July 20, 2012
Boares Like Wars but More Boring
Wars are actually quite boring. I don't mean that like "Oh I've survived just about every death ever so death does not scare me" no I mean that as a person not fighting on the front lines its very easy to get bored with the whole war thing. I mean I wasn't brought in to just be a stooge (err front line soldier) so for the most part I viewed reports of where guys were going, tried to at the best of my knowledge assume where the Red Hand would hit from, and then got overridden in opinion by those who actually knew what they were doing (look I'm a jerk, a historian, and at times a murderer, I am not a tactician).
So my time spent managing the war was that of moving from one tent to another, seeing the wounded come back either dejected or victorious and hearing how the Red Hand was either about to defeat us or about to be crushed. This was super boring, though it did allow me time to get to know Nidget (and find out I despise him) and catch up on my reading (as in any books we "liberated" from the Red Hand were given to me to find out what they might be planning).
This repetition went on for FIVE FREAKING YEARS! I swear the only people who know how to win a war are those of us not actually going to fight in them. Which doesn't make any sense but... you know what, going with it anyway!
So my time spent managing the war was that of moving from one tent to another, seeing the wounded come back either dejected or victorious and hearing how the Red Hand was either about to defeat us or about to be crushed. This was super boring, though it did allow me time to get to know Nidget (and find out I despise him) and catch up on my reading (as in any books we "liberated" from the Red Hand were given to me to find out what they might be planning).
This repetition went on for FIVE FREAKING YEARS! I swear the only people who know how to win a war are those of us not actually going to fight in them. Which doesn't make any sense but... you know what, going with it anyway!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
You Can't Spell Associate...
"Nidget Pavorossi and Andreyev Maristus," Toneron was introducing me to the two people he had sent looking for me (how he knew I was missing is beyond me, or how he knew exactly where I was shortly after they had found me? Also beyond me, Toneron is weird like that).
I chuckled at hearing the last names as I had known both of their ancestors (though in Andreyev's case the Followers of Fire swap partners so often its really hard to say which ancestor I really knew could have been a distant distant relative), "It's a pleasure." I extended my hand, we were at a camp fire a little distance away from the cave of evil bugs and rock spirits (that was its name... right of course). Both men shook it, but even then I could tell Nidget was a LYING LITTLE JERK WHO I DO NOT LIKE YES READ THIS YOU LITTLE MIDGET BASTARD!
"Well now that that's out of the way, I see that our allies are not very trusting are they." Toneron had to of course state the obvious. I mean they dumped me in a cave to get eaten alive by insects, they are either not very trusting or they have the weirdest getting to know you practices ever.
"To be honest sir, Trezlan Lorentino does have a bit of a reputation in these lands." Nidget responding in his rare actually respecting authority tone.
"Pish posh, hundreds of years ago maybe, but no one believes this Lorentino is that one." Toneron winked at me, again whatever "he" is, is not natural.
"All the same Toneron I believe we're in a bad place with this."
"Andreyev?" Toneron turned away from me and gestured toward Andre, who was apparently not just a courier for disposed of magical users.
"The Followers are willing to aid you in your efforts Mr. Hanlon, your gifts have been more than generous and we too are aware of Mr. Lorentino, but think of him quite favorably and would be willing to accept his assistance in our long term goal." Andre had a weird way of talking, like it wasn't a stutter, but he seemed to force out all his words at once. Like speaking was not something he liked doing.
"See there Trezlan I got you an army that won't betray you immediately again, and you say I never help you." He stood up and started to walk off, again he had no horse, carriage or anything, I swear as soon as he gets out of sight range he simply disappars.
"Thanks." And that was that, I was now a member of the Followers of Fire, even though I didn't believe in them or their religion, but I also didn't believe in the Guard either. I only believed in wanting to go home and not being stuck in the stupid lands of the Red Hand anymore! Sadly as I would come to find out later, THAT WAS NOT AN OPTION ANY LONGER SCREW YOU RONERAWTH I HOPE YOU ALL CHOKE!
I chuckled at hearing the last names as I had known both of their ancestors (though in Andreyev's case the Followers of Fire swap partners so often its really hard to say which ancestor I really knew could have been a distant distant relative), "It's a pleasure." I extended my hand, we were at a camp fire a little distance away from the cave of evil bugs and rock spirits (that was its name... right of course). Both men shook it, but even then I could tell Nidget was a LYING LITTLE JERK WHO I DO NOT LIKE YES READ THIS YOU LITTLE MIDGET BASTARD!
"Well now that that's out of the way, I see that our allies are not very trusting are they." Toneron had to of course state the obvious. I mean they dumped me in a cave to get eaten alive by insects, they are either not very trusting or they have the weirdest getting to know you practices ever.
"To be honest sir, Trezlan Lorentino does have a bit of a reputation in these lands." Nidget responding in his rare actually respecting authority tone.
"Pish posh, hundreds of years ago maybe, but no one believes this Lorentino is that one." Toneron winked at me, again whatever "he" is, is not natural.
"All the same Toneron I believe we're in a bad place with this."
"Andreyev?" Toneron turned away from me and gestured toward Andre, who was apparently not just a courier for disposed of magical users.
"The Followers are willing to aid you in your efforts Mr. Hanlon, your gifts have been more than generous and we too are aware of Mr. Lorentino, but think of him quite favorably and would be willing to accept his assistance in our long term goal." Andre had a weird way of talking, like it wasn't a stutter, but he seemed to force out all his words at once. Like speaking was not something he liked doing.
"See there Trezlan I got you an army that won't betray you immediately again, and you say I never help you." He stood up and started to walk off, again he had no horse, carriage or anything, I swear as soon as he gets out of sight range he simply disappars.
"Thanks." And that was that, I was now a member of the Followers of Fire, even though I didn't believe in them or their religion, but I also didn't believe in the Guard either. I only believed in wanting to go home and not being stuck in the stupid lands of the Red Hand anymore! Sadly as I would come to find out later, THAT WAS NOT AN OPTION ANY LONGER SCREW YOU RONERAWTH I HOPE YOU ALL CHOKE!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
You have to know where to hit'em
"Nidget get behind me." I wasn't saying that, because thats like inviting a thief to stand behind you while your distracted; actually thats exactly what you are doing. Andre had his shield drawn and was advancing on the angry rock spirit that had swelled in size (previously I'd heard of that and just figured people were dumb, I guess like a lot of things in life I was wrong). I have to say I considered running away, but since these two idiots had been sent to in theory get me (and I didn't know Nidget at the time) I stuck around against my better judgement (I'll admit this was also morbid curiosity).
Andre for his part seemed dead set in blocking the rock creature, which seemed idiotic considering metal versus living rock would seemingly be a loser for metal. And it was, the creature smashed into Andre's shield and he fell backward, but this was at least somewhat of a "plan" as when the creature landed the blow Nidget launched off Andre's back and on to the spirit, making his way for the "neck" of the creature. His blows seemingly landed ineffectively (again metal versus rock IS NOT A WINNER FOR METAL). Nidget called out to me and tossed a pistol he was carrying somewhere (previously I had just run from them to avoid this rock creature, so it wasn't like I really checked over exactly what he was carrying). I wasn't expecting much of a difference (again bullets are made of metal, and the rock creature is MADE OUT OF ROCK), but I emptied the revolver as fast as I could and the bullets as I suspected smashed against the rock but did nothing.
The creature was able to smash Nidget off of it with little difficulty and the shorty collapsed to the ground with a slump. Andre rushed to his aide and retreated from the rock spirit with Nidget on his shoulder, which left me the only combatant in theory able to destroy the beast. So I did what I do best and ran (look I tried really hard to kill with eight bullets, that enough). I would have kept running if I hadn't slammed head long into Toneron Hanlon who just as always appeared out of no where.
"Trezlan! Great to see you buddy!" He was a little too happy for just appearing out of nowhere.
"GIANT ROCK CREATURE!" I pointed with all the subtlety of a five year old afraid of the monsters in the dark. Toneron looked at me very much the paren to my monster and pulled out a gun from somewhere (again not really paying a super lot of attention to where people were hiding weaponry) and fired one shot instantly killing the rock spirit.
"How did you? With what? What are you?" I was mystified, Andre was relieved and Toneron was mildly annoyed.
"Trezlan its not what you fire at your enemy, but where you fire, seriously after all these years I'd think of all people you'd have figured that out." It was a total lie, it has to be. I still have no idea what Toneron is, but he didn't just happen to know the weak spot of a Rock Spirit, he's some kind of demon creature with magic bullets. Yes my explination works a lot better than his does. DEAL WITH IT!
Andre for his part seemed dead set in blocking the rock creature, which seemed idiotic considering metal versus living rock would seemingly be a loser for metal. And it was, the creature smashed into Andre's shield and he fell backward, but this was at least somewhat of a "plan" as when the creature landed the blow Nidget launched off Andre's back and on to the spirit, making his way for the "neck" of the creature. His blows seemingly landed ineffectively (again metal versus rock IS NOT A WINNER FOR METAL). Nidget called out to me and tossed a pistol he was carrying somewhere (previously I had just run from them to avoid this rock creature, so it wasn't like I really checked over exactly what he was carrying). I wasn't expecting much of a difference (again bullets are made of metal, and the rock creature is MADE OUT OF ROCK), but I emptied the revolver as fast as I could and the bullets as I suspected smashed against the rock but did nothing.
The creature was able to smash Nidget off of it with little difficulty and the shorty collapsed to the ground with a slump. Andre rushed to his aide and retreated from the rock spirit with Nidget on his shoulder, which left me the only combatant in theory able to destroy the beast. So I did what I do best and ran (look I tried really hard to kill with eight bullets, that enough). I would have kept running if I hadn't slammed head long into Toneron Hanlon who just as always appeared out of no where.
"Trezlan! Great to see you buddy!" He was a little too happy for just appearing out of nowhere.
"GIANT ROCK CREATURE!" I pointed with all the subtlety of a five year old afraid of the monsters in the dark. Toneron looked at me very much the paren to my monster and pulled out a gun from somewhere (again not really paying a super lot of attention to where people were hiding weaponry) and fired one shot instantly killing the rock spirit.
"How did you? With what? What are you?" I was mystified, Andre was relieved and Toneron was mildly annoyed.
"Trezlan its not what you fire at your enemy, but where you fire, seriously after all these years I'd think of all people you'd have figured that out." It was a total lie, it has to be. I still have no idea what Toneron is, but he didn't just happen to know the weak spot of a Rock Spirit, he's some kind of demon creature with magic bullets. Yes my explination works a lot better than his does. DEAL WITH IT!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
We Are Walking and Talking
"Trezlan Lorentino?" It was Andreyev asking, he was a tall thin looking man with a protruding chin and short blond hair, his outfit seemed a bit heavy for the summer (did I mention it was summer? It was summer!) a thick leather coat dyed blood red as is the fashion for the Followers of Fire (shockingly people who worship a fire god dress in mostly red outfits, I told them they should follow a fashion god and get some better sense, so far no response). Despite being tall and full of wirey muscle, Andre was considered a "runt" amongst his family and routinely mocked for not having the bulging muscles of his brothers and sisters (Followers of Fire are equal opportunity, I mean the Fire God is a woman!). He was equipped with a sword, shield, and rifle (rifle ammunition was behind the shield, which seemed to me like a bad idea if you blocked a shot and the bullets exploded, but it wasn't me ducking behind the shield).
"We are walking and talking, walking and talking lets go the way you guys went so we can get out of here." I was rambling and running, but HUGE ROCK SPIRIT CREATURE! I didn't know if it could climb out of that hole and I was not about to find out, while standing around like a damn fool.
"Look are you the guy or just some crazy hermit?" This was Nidget, Nidget red hair, black clothing, sword, dagger, and crossbow, that's all you need to know about the laziest journal reading useless idiot this world has ever known.
"I'm Trezlan, and we should keep moving, just right on this way." I heard a loud crash and Andre and Nidget clued in we were running from something.
"What in the five fires was that?" Andre had turned and I moved from walking to running. For their part Nidget and Andre weren't stupid (well Nidget normally is, but not this time) so when I started running they did too. Thankfully the mouth of the cave was nearby and I emerged first and breathed in that fresh air (and by that I mean choked on having physically exerted myself more than I ever had recently and gasped for breath like a fish out of water). Nidget and Andre came shortly after me and looked at me wondering what I had fled. We didn't have to wait long the Rock Spirit emerged from the cavern. And when I say emerged I mean erupted. It was larger than before, having somehow taken in the surrounding rock of the cavern, either in his escape from it, or just out of anger.
"Shit." Three of us in unison, because when you are in it that much, all you can say is what you feel like.
"We are walking and talking, walking and talking lets go the way you guys went so we can get out of here." I was rambling and running, but HUGE ROCK SPIRIT CREATURE! I didn't know if it could climb out of that hole and I was not about to find out, while standing around like a damn fool.
"Look are you the guy or just some crazy hermit?" This was Nidget, Nidget red hair, black clothing, sword, dagger, and crossbow, that's all you need to know about the laziest journal reading useless idiot this world has ever known.
"I'm Trezlan, and we should keep moving, just right on this way." I heard a loud crash and Andre and Nidget clued in we were running from something.
"What in the five fires was that?" Andre had turned and I moved from walking to running. For their part Nidget and Andre weren't stupid (well Nidget normally is, but not this time) so when I started running they did too. Thankfully the mouth of the cave was nearby and I emerged first and breathed in that fresh air (and by that I mean choked on having physically exerted myself more than I ever had recently and gasped for breath like a fish out of water). Nidget and Andre came shortly after me and looked at me wondering what I had fled. We didn't have to wait long the Rock Spirit emerged from the cavern. And when I say emerged I mean erupted. It was larger than before, having somehow taken in the surrounding rock of the cavern, either in his escape from it, or just out of anger.
"Shit." Three of us in unison, because when you are in it that much, all you can say is what you feel like.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Rock Out
Rock Creatures are a real thing (obviously). They are not born in the traditional sense, instead they are usually an earth spirit or sprite that inhabits a piece of ground for a long enough time that the ground itself becomes a manifestation of them. This can lead to some awkward issues (say when you are building a house or part of a city and happen to discover that ground you are trying to break is indeed a semi living creature). They tend to be fairly peaceful creatures, even when disturbed they will most of the time just leave and go find somewhere else to sit (I don't understand it either, I mean why exist if only to sit in one place forever? But such is the nature of earth spirits, I tried to ask Valrym about it once and he gave me a dirty look). They are also usually simple minded, which means you can convince them of things that most people would not believe. That would have been my normal tact with this angry creature, if I wasn't covered in the remains of his fellows and reaking of fire and death (I mean its not like I could just try and say "Wasn't me, this other guy was here" well I could say that but even I'm not that stupid nor is the rock creature).
So what I did was take up my sword and dare the thing to come at me. Because when in the face of something that is death incumbent, best to meet the damn thing head on. The rock creature (which towered over me to the point of almost scraping the ceiling) for its part had the same philosophy. The creature swung one if its huge rock club arms at me and I darted to the side, and then climbed up the arm and on top of the head to escape out the small hole above me (I said face the danger head on, not die like an idiot). I heard the creature howling beneath me, but I was free and life was good for me (why not necromance it you ask? BECAUSE ITS NOT ALIVE YOU IDIOT... sorry, because its not alive technically).
Free from my potential cave tomb I ran away from the hole as fast as I could in a direction not currently the one I was in. Which is where I ran into Nidget and his partner Andre. Yep I ran into my future employee in a cave fleeing a rock monster, isn't it weird how things work out. And by work out I mean piss me off to no end.
But that collision and meeting will have to wait till tomorrow, very busy day today, lot of weird stuff happened in town and I sadly got involved with some of it (and once again its Nidget's fault). So next entry little journal!
So what I did was take up my sword and dare the thing to come at me. Because when in the face of something that is death incumbent, best to meet the damn thing head on. The rock creature (which towered over me to the point of almost scraping the ceiling) for its part had the same philosophy. The creature swung one if its huge rock club arms at me and I darted to the side, and then climbed up the arm and on top of the head to escape out the small hole above me (I said face the danger head on, not die like an idiot). I heard the creature howling beneath me, but I was free and life was good for me (why not necromance it you ask? BECAUSE ITS NOT ALIVE YOU IDIOT... sorry, because its not alive technically).
Free from my potential cave tomb I ran away from the hole as fast as I could in a direction not currently the one I was in. Which is where I ran into Nidget and his partner Andre. Yep I ran into my future employee in a cave fleeing a rock monster, isn't it weird how things work out. And by work out I mean piss me off to no end.
But that collision and meeting will have to wait till tomorrow, very busy day today, lot of weird stuff happened in town and I sadly got involved with some of it (and once again its Nidget's fault). So next entry little journal!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Explode One Nest of Bugs
There are always things to deal with when you wake up from knocking yourself out (or from when someone else knocks you out). Like "Am I ok, is anything hurt, why do I have a funny taste in my mouth (always a funny taste in your mouth, usually its blood, sometimes though...)". When I awoke this time I was covered in the corpses of the insect creatures. At first I was disgusted, being covered in bugs the size of me was not the best way to awake to a that smelled of smoke and death. But when I realized the bodies had most likely prevent me from being killed, I was a little more appreciative (just a little, insects are still disgusting).
So I rushed to my feet, dusted myself off and surveyed the damage. I had of course shattered my nose (stupid thing being on the front of my face). The burning corpses and time knocked out had closed the wound, but my eyes were still swelled from the impact and my face a mixture of burning insect and blood (the latest fashion). The room I'd run myself into looked very similar to the one I had arrived in, completely with little hole at the top (but no bones, or if there had been bones they were annihilated in the fire).
I was just settling in to a nice "Now what the shit do I do." When a large rumbling came from where the bug nest had been before. I figured it was another fire, until the rumbling came with large crashing foot steps. Suddenly my situation was looking grimmer by the minute. The stomping arrived shortly, a gigantic rock monster with a crooked mouth made out of jagged rocks.
"WHO BURNED MY FRIENDS?" A rock monster that just survived an entire nest of exploding bugs exploding on him. Yeah my day went from suck to suckier.
So I rushed to my feet, dusted myself off and surveyed the damage. I had of course shattered my nose (stupid thing being on the front of my face). The burning corpses and time knocked out had closed the wound, but my eyes were still swelled from the impact and my face a mixture of burning insect and blood (the latest fashion). The room I'd run myself into looked very similar to the one I had arrived in, completely with little hole at the top (but no bones, or if there had been bones they were annihilated in the fire).
I was just settling in to a nice "Now what the shit do I do." When a large rumbling came from where the bug nest had been before. I figured it was another fire, until the rumbling came with large crashing foot steps. Suddenly my situation was looking grimmer by the minute. The stomping arrived shortly, a gigantic rock monster with a crooked mouth made out of jagged rocks.
"WHO BURNED MY FRIENDS?" A rock monster that just survived an entire nest of exploding bugs exploding on him. Yeah my day went from suck to suckier.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Stop Bugging Me
I hate caves, and I hate bugs, so seeing two of my hates in the same place at the same time was like a breath of horrible fetid air (of which the cave smelled like). I didn't and still don't (nor care to ever) know the exact species of flesh eating creatures that were occupying the cave's central chamber. Centuries ago (gods its weird saying that and not being hyperbolic) I hunted similar creatures with my aunt, but they were a lot smaller than these monstrosities and were only eating peoples livestock and hadn't attacked actual people. Not that that really stopped us from killing them, but still, I felt its a distinction to be made.
When I recognized the creatures I realized I was in a lot of danger and not just because of them. See I remembered specifically they reacted badly to fire. And I don't mean like "Oh they will attack it." I mean "These creatures are explosive, including their nests". Now you might be thinking "Why Trezlan if thats the case how come your torch didn't explode the nest prior to you arriving in it?" And to that I answer because I hadn't gotten to the nest and upon emerging in the cave with the creatures the torch lit up the nearest protusion. Which caused the insects to freak out (naturally a new person emerged and their cave just got set on fire), they didn't attack thankfully, they ran, and so I ran in the same direction (enemy of my enemy, except in this case the enemy was fire and the insect creatures would surely eat me if they weren't fleeing the flames). Now there was a couple problems here, I still had my torch, and I had no idea where I was going.
To the first issue it resolved my problem with the insects (the flames jumped from the torch to the creatures and then they caught on fire), to the second problem the cave system seemed rather large which was good (I couldn't have outcrawled a huge explosion), but being in a state of fleeing firey doom I wasn't really watching ahead of myself very good (which was bad). Which lead to me running face first into a wall too late, knocking myself clean out. You see this is the problem with trying to outrun fires, you stop doing things like "making sure the path ahead is clear". At least while I was knocked out the whole fire thing solved itself. Not that that was a positive development but neither is anything in my life ever!
When I recognized the creatures I realized I was in a lot of danger and not just because of them. See I remembered specifically they reacted badly to fire. And I don't mean like "Oh they will attack it." I mean "These creatures are explosive, including their nests". Now you might be thinking "Why Trezlan if thats the case how come your torch didn't explode the nest prior to you arriving in it?" And to that I answer because I hadn't gotten to the nest and upon emerging in the cave with the creatures the torch lit up the nearest protusion. Which caused the insects to freak out (naturally a new person emerged and their cave just got set on fire), they didn't attack thankfully, they ran, and so I ran in the same direction (enemy of my enemy, except in this case the enemy was fire and the insect creatures would surely eat me if they weren't fleeing the flames). Now there was a couple problems here, I still had my torch, and I had no idea where I was going.
To the first issue it resolved my problem with the insects (the flames jumped from the torch to the creatures and then they caught on fire), to the second problem the cave system seemed rather large which was good (I couldn't have outcrawled a huge explosion), but being in a state of fleeing firey doom I wasn't really watching ahead of myself very good (which was bad). Which lead to me running face first into a wall too late, knocking myself clean out. You see this is the problem with trying to outrun fires, you stop doing things like "making sure the path ahead is clear". At least while I was knocked out the whole fire thing solved itself. Not that that was a positive development but neither is anything in my life ever!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Trezlan Lorentino Cave Tour Guide
The best part about writing this journal is remembering why I hate everyone in the world. I mean I kind of remembered all the betrayals, bad deals, and general bullying I've dealt with, but I had forgotten how everyone around me consistently lets me down in ways I can't even put to words. I was telling Nidget once that the only reason I keep him around is he's the one person I can trust to act consistent (consistently screwing me over, but still he's consistent). So like this story I remembered I didn't trust the guard, but I had kind of forgotten how they dumped me in a cave to die. They did leave me my sword though, I suspect because they knew it was magical and were worried I had some kind of curse on it or it could become sentient or something. Hilariously wrong, but when you reject magic and aggressively fight it, you usually know little of it.
So I had my sword, but no pistol, I had magic, but no food, and I had knowledge of a lot of dead things where I was, but not a lot of actual light to see them. So it was one of those really awesome days for me. Thankfully I'm a master cave explorer. Indeed I run a side business where I show people the in and outs of cave exploration (note I do not).
So I knew my first order of business was getting a reliable light source. Now you might be thinking "But you can conjure fire just do that." To which I reply that maintaining fire for an extended period of time enough to light your way in a cave is incredibly daunting and I have never been able to master that, despite years and years of practice (something I've also explained to the ladies several times as well on different topics, ouch self burn). Thankfully bones of the dead tend to have clothing left on them, and clothing combined with a bone makes a handy torch (you can try this for yourself, but I'd recommend not getting left in a cave with dead bodies). So with my makeshift bone torch ready, and my sword drawn (look bones mean bodies, means something killed them).
The corpse room I was in had the one opening I had obviously been dumped through, smooth walls possibly from water having poured through the opening (which hinted maybe the corpses were from drowning not fighting, a thought pretty awful I admit). I could see a smaller crouching passage way also littered with bones (suggesting something had attacked and dragged the victim through the smaller passageway, also not a great thought). But since it was the only way out of the room I was in, I crouched down and made my way through the passage. I noticed the passage was also smooth (again possibly from water, see this is my cave expertise), it also seemed to go on for a long time, I crawled along it as it increasinly got smaller and smaller (less bones though). When I finally escaped the mouth of the opening I was in a large chamber covered in slime with huge insectoid creatures lining the whole chamber.
"Well shit." Out of the drowning chamber and into the nest (a turn of phrase that has never taken off no matter how many times I try and get it going). Tomorrow's entry will of course go over my entirely brave solution to the flesh eating creatures of the cave system of who knows where. Entirely brave and I'm not just saying that.
So I had my sword, but no pistol, I had magic, but no food, and I had knowledge of a lot of dead things where I was, but not a lot of actual light to see them. So it was one of those really awesome days for me. Thankfully I'm a master cave explorer. Indeed I run a side business where I show people the in and outs of cave exploration (note I do not).
So I knew my first order of business was getting a reliable light source. Now you might be thinking "But you can conjure fire just do that." To which I reply that maintaining fire for an extended period of time enough to light your way in a cave is incredibly daunting and I have never been able to master that, despite years and years of practice (something I've also explained to the ladies several times as well on different topics, ouch self burn). Thankfully bones of the dead tend to have clothing left on them, and clothing combined with a bone makes a handy torch (you can try this for yourself, but I'd recommend not getting left in a cave with dead bodies). So with my makeshift bone torch ready, and my sword drawn (look bones mean bodies, means something killed them).
The corpse room I was in had the one opening I had obviously been dumped through, smooth walls possibly from water having poured through the opening (which hinted maybe the corpses were from drowning not fighting, a thought pretty awful I admit). I could see a smaller crouching passage way also littered with bones (suggesting something had attacked and dragged the victim through the smaller passageway, also not a great thought). But since it was the only way out of the room I was in, I crouched down and made my way through the passage. I noticed the passage was also smooth (again possibly from water, see this is my cave expertise), it also seemed to go on for a long time, I crawled along it as it increasinly got smaller and smaller (less bones though). When I finally escaped the mouth of the opening I was in a large chamber covered in slime with huge insectoid creatures lining the whole chamber.
"Well shit." Out of the drowning chamber and into the nest (a turn of phrase that has never taken off no matter how many times I try and get it going). Tomorrow's entry will of course go over my entirely brave solution to the flesh eating creatures of the cave system of who knows where. Entirely brave and I'm not just saying that.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
That Did Not Take Long
"Shit." I was in a dark cave, I could see above the hole I had been dropped through,under my feet I heard the crunch of bones, wherever I had been left it wasn't a place people got back out of. The light was pretty low, making the dimensions of the cave barely visible, I couldn't tell if that was because this cave was in another cave or if it was night out. You would wonder how I went from discussing strategy with rebel leaders to being left in a cave underground, well the answer is I overshare way way too much (I know with all my admissions to crimes in this journal you'd think I'd learn to keep my mouth shut, but you see I'm writing this journal after these events, so of course I still haven't learned to be quiet).
So I was planning things out with Commander cranky pants when I let it casually slip I had once been an associate of Morley (something like "Well I'd think Morley wouldn't be that stupid") she asked how I knew him and I mentioned the previous association (cleaned up mind you I didn't tell her I was a necromancer or anything, I'm not that stupid). I left it at that and thought this was one of those "look Trezlan is useful because he knows the enemy" when I drank my drugged wine that night and wound up in the cave sometime later (look when you're drugged time doesn't make sense anywhere) it became apparent my allies didn't actually think I was worth much to be allied with.
So for those keeping track, I got lost for a couple weeks and when I finally caught up to the people I was supposed to be helping, they drugged me and left me in a cave to die to whatever creatures were hiding within. I tell you if I wasn't such an awful person I'd think I was being unfairly dealt with in the universe, but since I am, well I know I'm being correctly dealt with.
So I was planning things out with Commander cranky pants when I let it casually slip I had once been an associate of Morley (something like "Well I'd think Morley wouldn't be that stupid") she asked how I knew him and I mentioned the previous association (cleaned up mind you I didn't tell her I was a necromancer or anything, I'm not that stupid). I left it at that and thought this was one of those "look Trezlan is useful because he knows the enemy" when I drank my drugged wine that night and wound up in the cave sometime later (look when you're drugged time doesn't make sense anywhere) it became apparent my allies didn't actually think I was worth much to be allied with.
So for those keeping track, I got lost for a couple weeks and when I finally caught up to the people I was supposed to be helping, they drugged me and left me in a cave to die to whatever creatures were hiding within. I tell you if I wasn't such an awful person I'd think I was being unfairly dealt with in the universe, but since I am, well I know I'm being correctly dealt with.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Rebel Rousing
"You're late." Being late is a matter opinion. Its all perception, to you who has been waiting I'm late, to me I'm exactly on time or you're late for not coming and getting me. In this case I was late because I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO! If I hadn't come across a passing Guard patrol, I would have been lost for a lot longer. Thankfully I did run across one of their scouting parties, and they directed me to where I was requested and I arrived at the camp I was supposed to be at, so a gruff woman who looked to be many times a grandmother could complain I was not on time. Such is the life of Lorentino.
The command tent I'd been ushered into didn't have a lot of decoration. There was a table with a map and some marked positions, a small desk with a chair next to a cot with minimal blankets. If the commander wanted to show she was not much better off than the group she was leading, it was working. As for herself she was old, really really old. Her face had wrinkles on wrinkles, and her skin looked like it had been fire blasted. Hair was thinning and grey and hung to about her shoulders. She talked like she swallowed glass, her uniform was impeccably clean, even if it was that awful powder blue. No rank isignia though, I'd heard the Guard avoided them so as to not become targets for Red Hand long distance killers (the Red Hand of course was the opposite and had been punished for it all war long).
"I'd apologize if I thought this was somehow my fault, but since it is not I'd suggest we just move on." There weren't any guards within the tent, but there had been a couple stationed outside. So I was alone with their leader, The Guard didn't seem that smart, as outside of the ring Toneron had given me, they had no indication I was anyone they should trust ever.
"I'm just at a loss as to what you're doing here Mr. Lorentino, we got the weapons shipment, you don't look like much of a fighter, so what are you are a planner?"
"Sure I'll go with that."
"And what kind of plans would you propose."
"Awful ones."
"Glad to have you on board then, I feel so much better at our chances."
"Thank you Commander Trill, its always good to be so warmly welcomed."
"What are you even doing out here anyway Lorentino?" She was resigned, like she knew I was a bad hand and she'd have to play it out.
"I can't go home or I'll be executed, so I have to win your war to be welcomed back."
"Wel at least we are on the same page." It was true, either The Guard wins, or they all got murdered, the war didn't have a lot of compromising, though it wasn't like The Guard was letting the Red Hand off easy either, they had a shoot on sight order for any magically inclined people. Which makes my aiding them all the more hilarious. It is a bit sad I sided with the normals to put down the magical and now live under their rule, but its not like magical people don't deserve it, we are horrible people only interested in more power that are potentially explosive murder machines with the corruption. It's amazing people don't just kill magic children as early as they show signs. Well openly do that anyway...
The command tent I'd been ushered into didn't have a lot of decoration. There was a table with a map and some marked positions, a small desk with a chair next to a cot with minimal blankets. If the commander wanted to show she was not much better off than the group she was leading, it was working. As for herself she was old, really really old. Her face had wrinkles on wrinkles, and her skin looked like it had been fire blasted. Hair was thinning and grey and hung to about her shoulders. She talked like she swallowed glass, her uniform was impeccably clean, even if it was that awful powder blue. No rank isignia though, I'd heard the Guard avoided them so as to not become targets for Red Hand long distance killers (the Red Hand of course was the opposite and had been punished for it all war long).
"I'd apologize if I thought this was somehow my fault, but since it is not I'd suggest we just move on." There weren't any guards within the tent, but there had been a couple stationed outside. So I was alone with their leader, The Guard didn't seem that smart, as outside of the ring Toneron had given me, they had no indication I was anyone they should trust ever.
"I'm just at a loss as to what you're doing here Mr. Lorentino, we got the weapons shipment, you don't look like much of a fighter, so what are you are a planner?"
"Sure I'll go with that."
"And what kind of plans would you propose."
"Awful ones."
"Glad to have you on board then, I feel so much better at our chances."
"Thank you Commander Trill, its always good to be so warmly welcomed."
"What are you even doing out here anyway Lorentino?" She was resigned, like she knew I was a bad hand and she'd have to play it out.
"I can't go home or I'll be executed, so I have to win your war to be welcomed back."
"Wel at least we are on the same page." It was true, either The Guard wins, or they all got murdered, the war didn't have a lot of compromising, though it wasn't like The Guard was letting the Red Hand off easy either, they had a shoot on sight order for any magically inclined people. Which makes my aiding them all the more hilarious. It is a bit sad I sided with the normals to put down the magical and now live under their rule, but its not like magical people don't deserve it, we are horrible people only interested in more power that are potentially explosive murder machines with the corruption. It's amazing people don't just kill magic children as early as they show signs. Well openly do that anyway...
Friday, July 6, 2012
There's a lot of Norths
When someone tells you to go North, its usually not considered good directions, unless its like "Go north thirty feet and boom there you are." Which is to say when Toneron suggested I go North it was a lot like telling me "just go over there find a guy." I mean if I went too far up North I'd wind up in the damn Lunar Empire (which was a few weeks away from being wiped out at the time, I'd go into it, but why bother it was a tiny little group not connected to the war that got wiped out for being stupid, Nidget calls himself the last emperor of the Lunar Empire, that tells you how crappy it had to be). Also it wasn't like I wasn't WALKING THROUGH A DAMN WAR ZONE! So to say I had difficulty getting to the group that Toneron wanted me to assist was putting it mildly! The only nice thing to happen during that time period was the Red Hand had doomed themselves before I had even gotten directly involved!
You see one faction in Red Hand territory that was content despite their war nature to let the conflict go on by were the Followers of Fire. They worshipped war, and had a large army amongst their "priests", but they did not want to be involved in a territorial war, nor did they think it was their place (they had learned of course from Ronerawth kicking them out of the country after the last conflict). There was of course a conflict within the Followers though about which side to support should they had to support a side, and much like the overall conflict it came down to who could use magic and who could not. In the Followers they had distinctions in their priest hiearchy between magical users and non magical (non magical were thought of as lessers due to not being as adept at physical combat). Obviously each side wanted to support their own faction in the overrall Red Hand conflict, but the elders at the top forbade it. That was until the magical followers allied with the Red Hand to murder the Elders (a plot so stupid if I wasn't completely unaware of it I would have thought it was my plan to end the damn war myself!). It actually worked, the magical group in a brilliant blitz attack killed all of the elders in one go. The problem of course was the magical followers (known as the True Priests of The Fire God) have less membership than the none magical, and killing off the Elders didn't lead to the none magical just accepting the True Priests as their leaders.
It actually lead to the none magical to unleash their trump card; the Sins of the Fire God (I know this entry has a lot of different factions, I'd apologize, but if I started to apologize for every confusing entry I'd never tell you anything original again, sin is short for Assassin, because calling them asses would likely get you killed). I wasn't aware of their existence and neither was the Red Hand, until their judges and leaders started showing up in pieces or on display. Sin's are nasty to begin with, these guys took it to a new level, supposedly raised from birth within the church to murder for whoever they were pointed out, they were maddeningly efficient and horribly brutal. There was a story shortly after the Followers formally entered the war, where a True Priest was hiding in a town and a Sin was sent to find him. The townsfolk were pro Red Hand and so they hid the True Priest from the Sin, until he murdered everyone. And I don't mean like murdered just the men, he killed everyone in town and burned it to the ground. All told it was over fifty people, including several children.
Point being, the Red Hand had pissed off a faction that unleashed remorseless killers on them, and an army of men who literraly lived for conflict. It was beautiful in stupidity, probably go down as the all time boneheaded move of any war ever. I like to think it was Morley who did it, but I know he's too smart to be that dumb. None of that of course dealt with me WANDERING NORTH FOR TWO FREAKING WEEKS! See I wrote all that down to excuse being lost for a couple weeks. You're welcome.
You see one faction in Red Hand territory that was content despite their war nature to let the conflict go on by were the Followers of Fire. They worshipped war, and had a large army amongst their "priests", but they did not want to be involved in a territorial war, nor did they think it was their place (they had learned of course from Ronerawth kicking them out of the country after the last conflict). There was of course a conflict within the Followers though about which side to support should they had to support a side, and much like the overall conflict it came down to who could use magic and who could not. In the Followers they had distinctions in their priest hiearchy between magical users and non magical (non magical were thought of as lessers due to not being as adept at physical combat). Obviously each side wanted to support their own faction in the overrall Red Hand conflict, but the elders at the top forbade it. That was until the magical followers allied with the Red Hand to murder the Elders (a plot so stupid if I wasn't completely unaware of it I would have thought it was my plan to end the damn war myself!). It actually worked, the magical group in a brilliant blitz attack killed all of the elders in one go. The problem of course was the magical followers (known as the True Priests of The Fire God) have less membership than the none magical, and killing off the Elders didn't lead to the none magical just accepting the True Priests as their leaders.
It actually lead to the none magical to unleash their trump card; the Sins of the Fire God (I know this entry has a lot of different factions, I'd apologize, but if I started to apologize for every confusing entry I'd never tell you anything original again, sin is short for Assassin, because calling them asses would likely get you killed). I wasn't aware of their existence and neither was the Red Hand, until their judges and leaders started showing up in pieces or on display. Sin's are nasty to begin with, these guys took it to a new level, supposedly raised from birth within the church to murder for whoever they were pointed out, they were maddeningly efficient and horribly brutal. There was a story shortly after the Followers formally entered the war, where a True Priest was hiding in a town and a Sin was sent to find him. The townsfolk were pro Red Hand and so they hid the True Priest from the Sin, until he murdered everyone. And I don't mean like murdered just the men, he killed everyone in town and burned it to the ground. All told it was over fifty people, including several children.
Point being, the Red Hand had pissed off a faction that unleashed remorseless killers on them, and an army of men who literraly lived for conflict. It was beautiful in stupidity, probably go down as the all time boneheaded move of any war ever. I like to think it was Morley who did it, but I know he's too smart to be that dumb. None of that of course dealt with me WANDERING NORTH FOR TWO FREAKING WEEKS! See I wrote all that down to excuse being lost for a couple weeks. You're welcome.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
The Empire Goes Out with a Bang
I had fallen asleep in the rafters (you know I'm surprised I never died by falling off of the damn things while I was up there, I guess something is looking out for me). I had to admit I was more than a little worried about the empire I had gotten myself trapped in (no thanks to that damned fool Tripp), so of course I slept like a baby and woke up to the sound of sandals making a loud slapping noise on the ornate floor in the throne room. The emperor had joined me in our slumber and was equally as awakened by the sound of the sandals. The approaching man was dressed in light silks, I couldn't entirely make out his face, but it appeared he was down an eye (there was a scar that ran down the left side of his face that was very prominent, it cut across the eye and I figured most likely he didn't have the function of it), he also was armed with three pistols, one in a clutch under his left arm, one on his right hip, and a third in a rear holster also set up for the right hand, I couldn't tell for sure, but it appeared he was right handed. Under the pistol on the left side was dagger of a sort as well, there was a matched opposite one on his right side, but it had no pistol above it.
"Who are you? What is the meaning of you being in my throne room?"
"Mordere, I'm here to deliver a message." The name was not as well known then as it is now, the man who I have come across a few times since this, is a Sin (short for Assassin, because calling them ass's would be vulgar and not be as scary) and he isn't known for being a man of a lot of words.
"Ok, where is the message?" The emperor went to grab a pair of reading glasses and was killed before he could even reach them. Mordere had drawn his pistol and fired the single fatal shot faster than I'd ever seen before or since.
"The message is your empire is dead, and now so are you." He turned on his heel, the smoke from his pistol shot still hovered where he had previously been. I took in a sharper breath than I intended and Mordere turned his pistol drawn again hammer already hit back tracking the rafters. He spotted me with little trouble and hesistated for a small moment, then smiled and holstered his pistol. He left not bothering to shoot me (because I'm a shorty we are not worth it I figured). I waited a while to be sure he would not return and then checked on the Emperor.
The bullet had hit him just above the right eye, and blown out the back of his head. He was beyond any magic or ability to save, even if someone wanted to. His crown though was very much intact, and had a lot of very nice jewels in it. I was afraid to take the crown, but since a man had just walked in and shot the emperor, I figured no one was left who cared. And I was right, as I left the throne room I could see bodies everywhere. People had died suddenly, clutching at their throats as if choking, probably because they had. The few survivors who remained had been executed in the streets by the passing Guard army.
I would come to find out afterward they had poisoned the water (because one of the advancements of the empire had been a way of routing their central water supply this proved especially devastating). I had been saved by not having drank for a couple days (couldn't find an open bit of water available without someone watching it), I was able to escape the ensuing guard massacre, because no one cares about shorties. And so you now know how I became an emperor, I stole the crown off a body after everyone was poisoned to death because no one wins a war without murdering a lot of people. You know maybe I should have just told the shortened story instead of this longer one.
"Who are you? What is the meaning of you being in my throne room?"
"Mordere, I'm here to deliver a message." The name was not as well known then as it is now, the man who I have come across a few times since this, is a Sin (short for Assassin, because calling them ass's would be vulgar and not be as scary) and he isn't known for being a man of a lot of words.
"Ok, where is the message?" The emperor went to grab a pair of reading glasses and was killed before he could even reach them. Mordere had drawn his pistol and fired the single fatal shot faster than I'd ever seen before or since.
"The message is your empire is dead, and now so are you." He turned on his heel, the smoke from his pistol shot still hovered where he had previously been. I took in a sharper breath than I intended and Mordere turned his pistol drawn again hammer already hit back tracking the rafters. He spotted me with little trouble and hesistated for a small moment, then smiled and holstered his pistol. He left not bothering to shoot me (because I'm a shorty we are not worth it I figured). I waited a while to be sure he would not return and then checked on the Emperor.
The bullet had hit him just above the right eye, and blown out the back of his head. He was beyond any magic or ability to save, even if someone wanted to. His crown though was very much intact, and had a lot of very nice jewels in it. I was afraid to take the crown, but since a man had just walked in and shot the emperor, I figured no one was left who cared. And I was right, as I left the throne room I could see bodies everywhere. People had died suddenly, clutching at their throats as if choking, probably because they had. The few survivors who remained had been executed in the streets by the passing Guard army.
I would come to find out afterward they had poisoned the water (because one of the advancements of the empire had been a way of routing their central water supply this proved especially devastating). I had been saved by not having drank for a couple days (couldn't find an open bit of water available without someone watching it), I was able to escape the ensuing guard massacre, because no one cares about shorties. And so you now know how I became an emperor, I stole the crown off a body after everyone was poisoned to death because no one wins a war without murdering a lot of people. You know maybe I should have just told the shortened story instead of this longer one.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Raftersations
A good hiding place is like anything else in life, best out of reach of things that can kill you (except because of guns thats a very limited set of places). Failing that, in a place no one would ever think to look. Which is what lead me to scaling up into the rafters of the palace with some stolen food supplies and hoping for things to get better (not the best plan, but plans are plans). The best part is that the rafters were fairly high up and no one seemed to look up there (I had previously been tasked with cleaning up in the rafters and after discovering an unhealthy amount of dust, figured no one has been up there... ever). They also were connected to the whole palace, meaning I had the run of the place and could slink down to grab food, drink, or go to the bathroom without people noticing me. Which is what lead once again to hearing something I probably would have been better off not knowing.
"Emperor they demand we give up any and all arms and submit to their rule." I was in the throne room, because I wanted to feel a bit royal, also I had gotten lost earlier.
"I already capitulated to their request! What more can the Red Hand demand of me?" The emperor was old, and getting older with each passing moment.
"These aren't the Red Hand my lord, they call themselves the Guard, and they heard about our deal with the Red Hand, they demand we stop providing for their enemy." I felt for the emperor, in trying to please one group promising anihilation he angered the other, this frequently happens to me as well, though on a smaller scale, and usually involving people who lend money.
"Damn this war! We can not win." I'd heard the phrase before, but usually not at the government level, I felt for the Lunar Empire, but they should have known this was coming, they could not weather any storm forever.
"My liege what shall I tell them."
"Tell them I need more time."
"Yes my lord." As all things had happened. Time had already ran out. The emperor didn't know it, neither did I, but his people were already lost. The Guard had decided to make an example out of them, and any who opposed them, and so in a way I watched the last royal meeting of the Lunar Empire, well aside from when I get drunk and call court on my own, but this was at least more official!
"Emperor they demand we give up any and all arms and submit to their rule." I was in the throne room, because I wanted to feel a bit royal, also I had gotten lost earlier.
"I already capitulated to their request! What more can the Red Hand demand of me?" The emperor was old, and getting older with each passing moment.
"These aren't the Red Hand my lord, they call themselves the Guard, and they heard about our deal with the Red Hand, they demand we stop providing for their enemy." I felt for the emperor, in trying to please one group promising anihilation he angered the other, this frequently happens to me as well, though on a smaller scale, and usually involving people who lend money.
"Damn this war! We can not win." I'd heard the phrase before, but usually not at the government level, I felt for the Lunar Empire, but they should have known this was coming, they could not weather any storm forever.
"My liege what shall I tell them."
"Tell them I need more time."
"Yes my lord." As all things had happened. Time had already ran out. The emperor didn't know it, neither did I, but his people were already lost. The Guard had decided to make an example out of them, and any who opposed them, and so in a way I watched the last royal meeting of the Lunar Empire, well aside from when I get drunk and call court on my own, but this was at least more official!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Between the Army and Certain Death
"No." I was in the kitchen, my boots were still coated in grime and I admit I probably smelled a little worse for wear. Tripp was actually looking nice, dressed in chef whites and he was actually directing others around if you can believe that (I know its hard to believe a shorty of any stature could command respect, even more unbelieveable if you knew Tripp Like I did).
"We have to leave Tripp, this place is about to go a very bad place." I was pleading with him to listen to me, I realize this is a reversal in fortunes and it didn't take very long for it to happen.
"No Nidget I like it here, I know you hate it because you have to actually work, so leave, take whatever made up excuse you have and leave, I'm done with you anyway I just needed a body guard and you sufficed." I felt used, because I had been. I'll admit my concern for Tripp evaporated pretty much when he told me that. My only tie to the Lunar Empire gone I gathered my things to take off, I hadn't made a lot of money or stolen anything, so all I really had was my thieving tools, my weaponry and my dirty clothes. So not exactly a great traveling outfit, but I've made due with less on worse, so I was set to take off.
I wasn't the only one, it had only been a few weeks since Tripp and I had arrived, but the flow of people leaving the empire was pretty big in the other direction. Well it would have been if there wasn't a damn army between us and leaving. Yes the force that had threatened to destroy the Empire had just arrived. So I did what I do best. I hid and hoped it all went away. And you know the best part? It actually did. Well sort of...
"We have to leave Tripp, this place is about to go a very bad place." I was pleading with him to listen to me, I realize this is a reversal in fortunes and it didn't take very long for it to happen.
"No Nidget I like it here, I know you hate it because you have to actually work, so leave, take whatever made up excuse you have and leave, I'm done with you anyway I just needed a body guard and you sufficed." I felt used, because I had been. I'll admit my concern for Tripp evaporated pretty much when he told me that. My only tie to the Lunar Empire gone I gathered my things to take off, I hadn't made a lot of money or stolen anything, so all I really had was my thieving tools, my weaponry and my dirty clothes. So not exactly a great traveling outfit, but I've made due with less on worse, so I was set to take off.
I wasn't the only one, it had only been a few weeks since Tripp and I had arrived, but the flow of people leaving the empire was pretty big in the other direction. Well it would have been if there wasn't a damn army between us and leaving. Yes the force that had threatened to destroy the Empire had just arrived. So I did what I do best. I hid and hoped it all went away. And you know the best part? It actually did. Well sort of...
Monday, July 2, 2012
How The Mighty Are Brought Low
Tripp had been right. The Lunar Empire was actually accepting shorties (or really anyone) who could cook and clean to keep their tiny hamlet running. It wasn't even hard to cross the "border" (I put that in quotes because it was a couple guys standing next to a wood barricade with guns older than me). Tripp had of course been assigned to the kitchen (which is why he carried all those kitchen implements), me I got stuck cleaning things. Which you would think would afford great opportunities to steal things. You'd be dead wrong!
No see shorties don't get normal jobs like dusting plates or something. No we have to climb under and through pipes all over the damn land! I tell you the worst part about this con was actively working hard. Like I'd never had a real job until the Lunar Empire, and yet there I was scrubbing pipes and hoping to find a bit of coin or discarded jewlery (neither of which ever emerged). I did however hear something that lead me to believe that things were not well in the lands of the Lunar Empire. It should have been readily apparent from the lack of people and the demand for people to come be servants, but what can I say I'm not always as observant as I should be. It was while I was cleaning out a clogged storm drain that I heard a couple Lunar Empire guards discussing something. I couldn't tell who they were (nor did I really know anyone anyway) but I'll let their conversation speak for itself.
"The emperor has gone insane, we can not ally with them."
"We have to, if we do not we'll all be destroyed they were clear on that."
"Destroyed?" The one guard laughed, "How can they destroy the gods chosen?" Here is where I had to avoid laughing.
"We must act soon, and the emperor knows this."
"Perhaps we should act, to remove the emperor." At this point they walked off and I slipped into more muck (I mean why not make a bad situation worse?) But I was terrified of the conversation. An empire in turmoil is not a place to be doing day labor, its not even the place to swing in for a bite to eat. And there I was with knowledge of an attempted coup or potential destruction and the thing most on my mind? I hoped the mud would come out of my boots. Yeah I'm a man of action.
No see shorties don't get normal jobs like dusting plates or something. No we have to climb under and through pipes all over the damn land! I tell you the worst part about this con was actively working hard. Like I'd never had a real job until the Lunar Empire, and yet there I was scrubbing pipes and hoping to find a bit of coin or discarded jewlery (neither of which ever emerged). I did however hear something that lead me to believe that things were not well in the lands of the Lunar Empire. It should have been readily apparent from the lack of people and the demand for people to come be servants, but what can I say I'm not always as observant as I should be. It was while I was cleaning out a clogged storm drain that I heard a couple Lunar Empire guards discussing something. I couldn't tell who they were (nor did I really know anyone anyway) but I'll let their conversation speak for itself.
"The emperor has gone insane, we can not ally with them."
"We have to, if we do not we'll all be destroyed they were clear on that."
"Destroyed?" The one guard laughed, "How can they destroy the gods chosen?" Here is where I had to avoid laughing.
"We must act soon, and the emperor knows this."
"Perhaps we should act, to remove the emperor." At this point they walked off and I slipped into more muck (I mean why not make a bad situation worse?) But I was terrified of the conversation. An empire in turmoil is not a place to be doing day labor, its not even the place to swing in for a bite to eat. And there I was with knowledge of an attempted coup or potential destruction and the thing most on my mind? I hoped the mud would come out of my boots. Yeah I'm a man of action.
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