The best part about writing this journal is remembering why I hate everyone in the world. I mean I kind of remembered all the betrayals, bad deals, and general bullying I've dealt with, but I had forgotten how everyone around me consistently lets me down in ways I can't even put to words. I was telling Nidget once that the only reason I keep him around is he's the one person I can trust to act consistent (consistently screwing me over, but still he's consistent). So like this story I remembered I didn't trust the guard, but I had kind of forgotten how they dumped me in a cave to die. They did leave me my sword though, I suspect because they knew it was magical and were worried I had some kind of curse on it or it could become sentient or something. Hilariously wrong, but when you reject magic and aggressively fight it, you usually know little of it.
So I had my sword, but no pistol, I had magic, but no food, and I had knowledge of a lot of dead things where I was, but not a lot of actual light to see them. So it was one of those really awesome days for me. Thankfully I'm a master cave explorer. Indeed I run a side business where I show people the in and outs of cave exploration (note I do not).
So I knew my first order of business was getting a reliable light source. Now you might be thinking "But you can conjure fire just do that." To which I reply that maintaining fire for an extended period of time enough to light your way in a cave is incredibly daunting and I have never been able to master that, despite years and years of practice (something I've also explained to the ladies several times as well on different topics, ouch self burn). Thankfully bones of the dead tend to have clothing left on them, and clothing combined with a bone makes a handy torch (you can try this for yourself, but I'd recommend not getting left in a cave with dead bodies). So with my makeshift bone torch ready, and my sword drawn (look bones mean bodies, means something killed them).
The corpse room I was in had the one opening I had obviously been dumped through, smooth walls possibly from water having poured through the opening (which hinted maybe the corpses were from drowning not fighting, a thought pretty awful I admit). I could see a smaller crouching passage way also littered with bones (suggesting something had attacked and dragged the victim through the smaller passageway, also not a great thought). But since it was the only way out of the room I was in, I crouched down and made my way through the passage. I noticed the passage was also smooth (again possibly from water, see this is my cave expertise), it also seemed to go on for a long time, I crawled along it as it increasinly got smaller and smaller (less bones though). When I finally escaped the mouth of the opening I was in a large chamber covered in slime with huge insectoid creatures lining the whole chamber.
"Well shit." Out of the drowning chamber and into the nest (a turn of phrase that has never taken off no matter how many times I try and get it going). Tomorrow's entry will of course go over my entirely brave solution to the flesh eating creatures of the cave system of who knows where. Entirely brave and I'm not just saying that.
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