Get In the Damn Box

"GET IN THE BOX NIDGET!" We were standing outside my shop in the street, the spirit had decided to go all out now.  The district my shop was in up to the poor area Nidget lived in were now surrounded by a purple wall of shrieking evil.  Captain Therod was thankfully not trapped with us (because she would have totally blamed us even though it was our fault, blaming us is mean!)

"I can't fit in the box Trezlan." I was going to suggest cutting off his legs, but he had Andre there with him and that didn't seem like a wise thing to mention with his bodyguard right there.

"YOU STARTED THIS YOU HAVE TO FINISH IT ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Why are you shouting?"

"Because this was a great moment for shouting, look Nidget I have a set up here, you have opened the door to this spi..." I was cut off halfway through, the spirit appeared and launched me backwards (its strength had been increased because Nidget was there, the originator of its freedom). I landed on the dirt, the spirit was on top of me its anger and hatred manifest in the gore it had covered itself in (at least I hoped it was manifested, it might have actually been butchering people). I knew my blood magic wouldn't work again because the spirit had been caught off guard before, now it knew it was coming (they learn like that annoyingly so, especially the evil ones, not that there are a lot of good spirits I'd fought). I tried to burn it (hey worth a shot!) and of course that failed like so many other things, at that point I was down to Valrym's sword or my revolver, I had faith in neither.

Nidget looked on at me as the spirit bared down and then stuck his hand in the box, there was a wail that echoed in the entire district painfully so, and then the spirit and all of its evil were sucked into the little object, the work of my runes (well either that or Nidget has some secret power unbefore seen). Nidget withdrew his hand and the box shut, the district was no longer surrounded by evil energy, I got up off the ground and made my way over to the box.

"Glad you didn't take too long to stick something in."

"You could have just told me to put my hand in you know." I didn't exactly know that would work, I figured it might work, but I did kind of want Nidget to be stuck in the box with his little spirit.

"Details, now leave the box to me I know exactly where I'm going to put it."

"What leave it to you? It's my box!" Ever the petulant child.

"Sure I'll leave you this evil spirit so that you can unleash it again and we do this dance all over again except next time the trap runes won't work.  No you little miscreant, here take these gold coins and be thankful you get them." I threw the coins on the ground and he said something under his breath, but still collected them like the good little thief he was.  Captain Therod arrived shortly there after a cadre of her guards with her.

"What did you idiots do?"

"Fixed the problem Captain, now if you'll excuse me I have an evil spirit to get rid of."

"Lorentino I swear to whatever god you believe in if you are just going to release that somewhere else."

"It would follow me back and cause a problem for me again, no Captain I intend on disposing of it, don't worry so much!" I swear people think so little of me despite me being the grandest hero this world has ever seen.  I mean read this journal! I'm the greatest hero ever! Sure I've murdered some innocents, but you can't make a great steak without butchering a pack animal! Wait that sounds bad, nevermind.

Box Trap

I had Nidget's learning box on my table, I was working some runic magic on it drawing in my own blood (thankfully because of necromancy people never notice how scarred my hands would be with all the different forms of blood magic I imploy, it would be like a road map to pain town).  I chose the box because I noticed the wood it had been made out of was an older type that had been used to contain spirits in the past (again HINTY HINT HINT HINT! About where that spirit had come from) and it was one of the only actual box's in my store for some odd reason (I tend to use crates as cheap firewood). I was just starting drawing runes on the top when I smelled burning flesh, its a smell you don't ever forget.

"Got over your little learning moment spirit?" I knew it was her before I even turned around, despite knowing this ghost could kill I decided pissing it off would be a good idea.

"Not going back in the box necromancer." Spirits can tell when you're a necromancer, I think I have some kind of aura of death, well either that or it knew what blood magic really was (unlike thankfully Captain Therod). I did at that point finally make the connection the creature had come from the box (yes after it told me as much).

"You say that now, but you don't see all the nice things I'm offering in here." It was a lie, I was offering nothing nice, I didn't know all the magic I was using, but my mentor had at some point dealt with something similar, and from her journals they were controllable to an extent (which was the reason she had dealt with it, instead of her being nice she was using it from something).  I was right though it wasn't an actual spirit, since it had never been in a body, it was more something worse from beyond a place that is not good.

"I will destroy you."

"Yeah you won't, see I know your little secret and soon enough you'll be back in your little box and shipped off somewhere bad for a long time, how's eternity sound for you?" The spirit left, but the smell stayed (petulance is so unbecoming of evil). My plan was taking shape, I just needed one key element to it and then I'd be all set, though that element did not want to be in my plan, Nidget always found a way to dissapoint me!

Trezlan 1 Ghosts Too Many to Count

"Be gone spirit!" I had sliced my hand on my sword and threw the blood on the ghost of the old lady, she howled and dissappeared taking with her the noise and creepyness.

"What was that?"

"Oh a little trick I learned years ago."

"Not the blood magic you idiot, the ghost."  Captain Therod ever the nice lady.

"I don't know, clearly she's becoming more aggressive, manifesting and moving objects, but I've never seen one so free? She may not be a ghost, or even a she." By free I mean able to move from building to building, I assumed the ghost that had appeared had been the one that murdered someone and left them in Nidget's house.

"How do we stop it?" Therod always seeking a solution without quite understanding the problem.

"I don't know, what I did was kind of piss it off, but it'll be back, or already is back, how far have you gotten reports about activity?"

"Really just this district and the slums, no where else." This is what we call a hint as to where the ghost was coming from folks, thankfully I never listen to hints.

"Well we might have to trap it in this district."

"Isn't it already trapped in this district idiot?"

"Your anger is understandable Captain, but please I have some books to read and some things to plan for, now if you'll excuse me." She gave me a look of well hatred and then left in a huff.  I had to plan, because if there's one thing I'm really good at, its planning! This entire journal is vast proof of this!

So That Happened

"Ok there are two options here, either Nidget is secretly some kind of weird murderer," Left unsaid is that everyone in the house committed multiple murders, Nidget and I rather recently, "Or you guys are haunted." As soon as I said haunted Nidget's door flung open and the corpse started to sway in a wind that actually wasn't there.

"SEE WE'RE HAUNTED!" Nidget screamed and I didn't exactly know why, because you know I could hear him perfectly fine, volume control people learn it!

"Well its confirmed so I'll be on my way good luck with all of that." I left before they could say anything more (look I'm a bad person you know this journal reader, I know you know this). I wasn't back at my shop one minute before Captain Therod came knocking.

"You said later, this is later."

"Not exactly a great time Captain, look I just had a bit of an incident with stuff, I think and this is just a guess, we might have some ghost issues." All the lanterns in my shop went out imediately, and the door which was open from the Captain coming in (because you know people were raised in damn barns they leave doors open). An old lady materialized, her face twisted in a grimace of blood and mangled features, she screamed and it filled the shop.

"Haunted really? What makes you think that?" Captain Therod didn't need to shout, despite the noise I could hear her just fine.

"Oh you know just a feeling."

Haunted and Hunted, Two Great Tastes

"HELP HELP I'M BEING HAUNTED!" I was reading up on hauntings when Nidget came rushing into my store screeching like well Nidget.  I swear if it seems like the same cast of morons come into my store instead of anyone else? Its only because I only talk about the idiots showing up, all the boring customer stories I don't mention, but they exist!

"Hunted you're being hunted? Awesome." Ok so my hearing is not the best, and I did write the proper word up there, but come on haunted and hunted sound the same I'm not crazy.

"Not hunted! Haunted you idiot!"

"Right or you have mice in your house and you just don't notice it, happens all the time." Yes despite Captain Therod having me look into hauntings and such I wrote Nidget off as an idiot who didn't realize he had mice.

"Its not Mice Trezlan, there was an old woman in my house!"

"So you hired a cleaning lady and forgot! Geez Nidget you should be nicer to that lady."

"TREZLAN! JUST COME TO MY HOUSE!" I sighed took the sign out from behind my counter that said "Back sometime maybe just check back" and went with Nidget to his "haunted" house.  I'll admit I thought he probably was haunted, I just didn't want him knowing I thought that, becuase you know I'm an asshole. So we made our way over to the hovel that Nidget occupied with Andre (who despite being a bodyguard and a church member did not do ghosts Nidget informed me, silly martial combat loving people).

The house was basically a two room shack near the edge of town, Nidget lived near other shorties in a similar situation (they tended to group together for this kind of stuff). I did notice on my way over no one was outside their doors, now they may have thought I was some kind of authority (due to my regal nature), but it definately seemed odd.  Once inside I could see Nidget kept an extremely messy house, junk was just strewn all over, Andre was standing amongst it and nodded as I entered.

"Nidget your cleaning lady sucks."

"THIS IS WHAT ITS DOING TO ME!"

"Yes Trezlan this is not how it normally is, we cleaned this up last night and wake up and its back to being a mess." Andre seemed purturbed by it, I also noticed his eyes looked a little bloodshot, like he hadn't been sleeping.

"Right of course a ghost messed up your house, and not just you two being lazy slobs, like I'm going to open Nidget's room and there will be a pristine collection of neatly arranged..." I had the door open and was going through with my dickish display (I could tell Nidget's room from Andre's because he helpefully wrote NIDGETS on it) when I saw the strung up corpse of I assume the man that Captain Therod was looking for the other day. "Body parts strung up like a creepy display, well I'll admit that was unexpected." Nidget and Andre stared in disbelief, I took it in stride, and slammed the door shut.

"Ok so you might be haunted."

Box Time Of the Month

"Nidget's learning box?" I had a bad night of sleep, kept hearing things in the middle of the night (foot steps whispered voices, I couldn't place any of them, but it was disturbing). Captain Therod was the one inquiring about the box on my counter, I looked like crap but she didn't seem to notice, because she doesn't care about me you see.

"There's a story there if you want to hear it you have to buy the box." I'm a master salesman.

"No thanks Mr. Lorentino I don't need some weird box you stuffed Nidget into."

"No no he wouldn't fit in it, well not with legs anyway." When I said not with legs Therod gave me a glare, I wasn't actually intending on cutting his limbs off, well not that I would admit with the captain of the guard in front of me.

"Do you ever realize how disturbing you sound to other people or is that you have no internal monologue?"

"No I talk to myself too, wait that sounds worse, nevermind, what can I do for you anyway Captain? Finally come around to my offer of redesigning those absymal uniforms?" I'd been pitching this constantly, to the point of probably risking getting executed (Reason for Execution: Annoyance would be a great thing to have on an official form somewhere).

"No please stop asking, I'm here because I'm told you are the man to come to about odd things." Her demeanor shifted, like we were talking in conspiracy.

"Captain Therod magical items are strictly regulated in the Lands of the Guard and you know I don't have those permits." It was the game of cat and also cat that me and Therod played that she knew I sold and bought magical items, but she could not prove it, and I made sure that last part never ever came to fruition.

"Not that you liar, no I've had some weird reports going on from all over town, people reporting things missing, strange noises and one case where someones brother has gone missing, could be unrelated but thats not my experience."  I was worried, I'd heard the noises but figured it was a left over psychosis (I'll admit I'm batshit) didn't realize other people were hearing it.

"Haven't seen any of that stuff," Yes I lied, look my first thought when weird things are going on is its somehow my fault, sadly its mostly the right attitude, "But I'll tell you what Captain since you look so sad, I'll open up some old dusty tomes I got and see if there is anything that lines up with what you are talking about, I'm sure I have something, somewhere, just give me a few days to track it down."

"Thanks Lorentino, work on being less creepy next time."

"No promises." Now I wasn't lying about looking this up, because since it was hitting me I wanted to know for sure. That stupid box, I swear looking back I don't know why I didn't think of it first and foremost, but what can I say hindsight is a nagging bitch, ok that came off a lot more angry than I intended.

Nidget's Learning Box

"I GOT IT OPEN!" He had rushed into my shop, we'd been back in to town for two days and for two days I was Nidget free, I knew it wouldn't last but you know how these things work for me the longer something good happens, the more likely something bad will happen.

"Do you know that other people don't just bang my door open and shout at me Nidget? Amazingly they have respect for courtesy." The train ride home was boring, just Nidget banging his box, when we got home Captain Therod was not even waiting for us (amazingly she's got stuff to do other than watch over me and Nidget, I know I'm stunned too).

"Do you want me to leave and come back?"

"No, the moment is ruined, so what was in your useless box of wasting my time?" He had the box with him, and he was in my shop so I figured he was going to try and sell me whatever relic he had won.

"Nothing was in the box." He was dejected, the opposite of the shouting he lead with.

"Nothing? Not even a piece of paper saying 'Thanks for nothing sucker'." Was that necessary? No no it wasn't, but was it fun yes yes it was.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"More than you'll ever know."

"So will you buy it?"

"Buy your crappy empty box that had locks on it for no good?"

"Yes."

"Tell you what because I kind of feel sorry for you, yet also want to mock you, I'll put this on comission for you, after a month of it not selling on my counter I'll burn it and pay you some gold coins, sound fair?"

"How much mockery?" I smiled and he sighed.  And so Nidget's Learning Box was christened as my counter top ornament.  Though thinking back on it, I should have called it "Trezlan and Nidget's Learning Box", but you know how this kind of thing goes, at the time it seemed like just something to mock him with.  I had no idea he had unleashed evil and invited it into my store. What can I say, it looked like a dumb little box.

On Boxes And What Should Not Be

"This damn box is not opening." We'd been on the train for a couple hours, Nidget was attempting to pick one of the several locks on his stupid box and as he stated not doing too good at it.

"Maybe you aren't supposed to open, perhaps its a test to see how enlightened you are." Maybe I was being an asshole because taunting people is something I enjoy, maybe.

"Don't you know some magic to open things?'

"Yeah its called fire magic, but since your box is made out of wood I'd probably end up burning the box down and leaving those beautiful locks, which have runes etched into them by the way." I couldn't see what the runes were from where I was sitting and frankly didn't care, I did like the sour look it left on Nidget's face though, that was great.

"You are not helping."

"You're the master thief, use your own magical powers to unlock those, I still think its probably best not to." Something about that box seemed off to me, I felt it from when I was sitting across from it, felt like it was watching me.

"All boxes are meant to be opened Trezlan, that's why they are boxes."

"Spoken like someone who has never unleashed an agent evil because he was careless."

"And you did?"

"Well I did free one of your ancestors once upon a time."  Nidget is not an agent evil, and his ancestor wasn't like in a box, but my point stands.

"Are there anytimes you aren't really creepy?"

"I've heard I look really peacful when I'm sleeping, probably because I'm dreaming of murdering everyone."

"So that would be a no."

"That would be a no." And so the train ride went, Nidget slamming into his box with various tools and me offering no help. I'd say it was symptomatic of our relationship in general, but I end up helping Nidget a lot more than I should.  I swear I end up helping a lot of people more than I should, I guess I'm crazy like that.

You Knew This Was Coming

"I just want to tell you this entire trip has been less than a waste of my time." We were making our way back to the train station, I said less than a waste of my time BECAUSE I ALSO LOST MONEY! So Nidget literally cost me money, sure the gambling tables had a hand in that, but its completely Nidget's fault.

"I'm pleased I wasted your time Trezlan, keep whining about it, your tears are sustenance on this trip home." This is one of the reasons I take so much pleasure in torturing Nidget, because of moments like this. He was still carrying that stupid box, like a parent carries a child, which meant I had to carry our damn bags (the little disrespectful jerk) though it also meant I didn't have my hands available when the WDM showed up wild eyed and pointing a pistol at Nidget.

"GIVE ME THE BOX!" Baldy wasn't with him, I figured his contract had ended and he'd gone off to do whatever baldy did when he wasn't guarding well dressed men. The use of a gun seemed to contradict my belief he was a magic user, though I too use a gun, so maybe not.

"Trezlan!" Nidget acted like this was somehow my fault.

"What? My hands are full." They were completely full of clothes that could be dropped, but you know that would be more effort than I felt like giving for Nidget's stupid box. Nidget tossed the box to WDM who was so overjoyed he dropped his gun, Nidget than used me as a spring board (he literally climbed me) and lept on to WDM shanking him through the throat with a hidden blade in his sleeve.  WDM's neck splurted on the ground as the onlookers who had previously just overlooked a couple of people being robbed (it happens a lot in Lork) gazed on.  Nidget snatched his box back and kept walking (murder also was kind of common in Lork, though not common enough to not be questioned if we hung around).

"You've had that blade up your sleeve this whole time?"

"Why do you think I always wear long sleeve shirts?"

"I just thought you were embarrased by your shot chubby arms." He snarled at me (like the damn animal he is) and we made our train.  The WDM I'm sure was tossed into the wilderness to be eaten by animals, but looking back on it, I wish Nidget had just let him take that box, I have no idea why he wanted it, or for what purpose, but it would have been better than what happend to me and Nidget.  The damn dumb little idiot.  Nidget not the WDM.

Shadow Boxing

I was alone in what appeared to be an empty basement, proving once and for all I'm the worst body guard in the history of guarding bodies (hey that now just occured to me that the term seems kind of silly, I mean if I'm guarding a body doesn't that mean I failed?) I was about to leave when Nidet just appeared out of nowhere carrying a box.

"Where did you go?" The box had at least five seperate locks on it, looked to be of just a normal redish wood design, fairly unremarkable really.

"To a place beyond space and time." His eyes almost filled with wonder when he said it.

"Really?"

"No, theres a sub basement over there you didn't notice, but I had you going for a second."  He totally did not.

"So what's in the box?"

"I have no idea."

"You played this whole game for seven damn days and you don't know what you won." I could not, and still do not BELIEVE THAT HE ACTUALLY DID THIS.

"Yes, the reward is never known in advance, its just an object of power, its really about the..." I started choking him at this point, I had had enough.  Ok I didn't actually start choking him but in my mind I did, like I saw his eyes bulge out of his head, felt the last bit of his life fall away and then I burned the box on his remains, it was a nice day dream. "And so this box is my reward."

"Where are the keys to it?"

"I don't have those either." SO MUCH RAGE I CAN BARELY WRITE THIS WITH A STEADY HAND RHRHARHARHARHARHAHR!  I'll have to come back to this tomorrow, just writing it makes me want to kill Nidget all over again, he should be thankful he's not near me right now (though currently I believe he's being held hostage, so you know he's probably not that thankful). Till the next entry journal!

The Most Amazing Thing

No that title is a lie. WDM and Nidget had their epic face off.  All the other players had been cleared from the competition due to I believe boredom finally doing them in (lucky bastards).  It did mean the bodyguard lounge emptied of people until it was just me and baldy, he grimaced at me menanicingly and I just leaned back in my chair and tried to avoid falling over (something I failed at doing several times).

For their part I think they were having an epic game of, whatever the hell their game was.  Their were moment of shouting, there were moment of crying, and one point I think Nidget was laughing crazily (which could mean a lot of things to be honest), but when it was all said and done Nidget won his little card game (obviously if I told this story and he lost that would make me the worst story teller since that guy that tells you about his marital problems, heres a tip buddy NO ONE CARES).

To his credit the WDB calmly walked away from the table, collected his bodyguard and left. I was too busy watching him I didn't even notice Nidget was gone, as were the judges who had been watching the game.  In fact the whole arena was empty.  I tell you there are few things more alarming than when you watch someone leave, turn around and notice you're all alone. Of course I wasn't all alone... but thats for the next entry.  Look you should be happy I told you Nidget won in this one, I could have just drug that out too...

Nidget's Boring Games Continued

Five flipping days of boring games, I swear to whatever gods still exist that I was being punished for crimes that do not in any way shape or form have any bearing on my actions. I sat there trying to think of better things to do with my time. I will say my nails looked fantastic after I filed them for an entire session.  I also noticed most of the clothes I had brought with me had poor tailoring, so I went back and re did that (which got a chuckle out of the other body guards).  I also took apart my pistol and cleaned it (which lead to finding a weird rune I'd never seen before stamped on the inside of the barrel, I did my best to draw it and made not to ask Hanlon about it next time he magically appeared next to me).

Nidget kept winning though, I was hoping every day he'd lose and we'd get out of there (I was even ok with all the whining he would do when he lost if it meant I'd stop being bored out of my mind). But no, it was looking like as the well dressed man (or WDM as I'll call him as I tire of spelling it out) had called it, he and Nidget were destined for a showdown.  I still had no idea what the stakes were, or why this stupid game was even being played, but I was powerless to leave (I'd gambled away all of my money and Nidget had the return tickets).  And so with boredom on the line Nidget and the WDM had their showdown... Oh next entry, this one is just me complaining about being bored so you can feel what I felt, sort of... What? I'm a dick.

The Ethics of Betrayal

"I was wondering when you'd show up." I was down on my luck running out of chips and the card game I had been a part of had started to take its toll.  When the well dressed man and his shirtless body guard showed up it was a perfect time to cash out and walk away.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Of course he'd feign that he had no idea, of course he himself had paid four people to take Nidget's cards and kill him if he resisted, but he had no idea, no no not this guy.

"Right of course, why don't you buy me a drink?" We moved from the card table (much to the sadness of the people taking my money) to the bar area, a waitress wearing too little clothing (look I'm hundreds of years old, I'm like your grand fathers grand father grand father when it comes to conservativeness, I mean I lived during a time when some people felt clothing was optional so yes when women or men don't wear clothes I get all grumpy).

"What is it that you think you know?" Right to the point I always liked that about people I'd probably have to kill.

"That you hired someone to kill Nidget or at the very least rob him of his cards, and now since that's failed you're talking to me, pro tip when hiring thugs, do it through an intermediary." Well it wasn't really a pro tip, I mean only two people can do what I did to the thug to get the information, but still its just good idea... not that I'd ever need to do anything like it... ever. Baldy (look I don't remember names and I'm petty) shifted uncomfortably, the well dressed man just smiled.

"And what would give you that idea?"

"You think that talking is the only way to get information, you are mistaken in this belief, they didn't say a word, but what I saw speaks volumes." The implication here is some kind of hind sight which is possible with magic, but extremely deadly, for the person with hindsight, no one wants anyone knowing for sure what they did in the past.

"And so you think?"

"That you want to pay me to betray Nidget now, since your first plan failed."

"And the cost of doing that would be?"

"More than you could ever afford." I don't say I'm unbuyable, but I don't like selling out people, even Nidget.

"Do you even know what this competition is about? What the prize is here?"

"Don't know, don't care, I just wanted to let you know, that I know what you tried to do, Nidget will not know, but should I see anything hinky going on at the game, well you'll find out how I knew all about your henchman."  I left the well dressed man and baldy at the bar, didn't even get my drink.  I made my point and I hoped he'd stick to leaving Nidget alone, and well... well you'll have to read the next entry!

Day 2 Of the Most Boring Game

Nidget looked ragged, he just exited his room, grumbled something about me not stealing his soul and then rushed out of the suite and towards the game.  I didn't rally chase after him,but I knew where he was going (contrary to my previous everything I can remember paths in cities, its just in underground caves while being chased by the damned of the damned I have problems).  He signed into his little gaming table and I went to where the body guards were hanging out.

None of the other big mean idiots seemed to notice the difference in my face, but that could be because they didn't notice I was the same person from the day before (most of the time I get confused for a child of mine "Oh are you Trezlan's kid?" I never correct these people because again don't want to answer awkward questions). So I sat and watched the most boring game played by boring people (notice how I didn't ever explain the rules, be glad for this, BE SO GLAD FOR THIS).  I'll admit I wasn't really watching Nidget (it was an enclosed space where nasty old men watched over people to make sure they weren't cheating, no one was going to get killed, well literally killed), I was looking for a guy I saw in the mind of one our poor attackers.  I spotted him early on and focussed my attention on him.

He was an older guy, looked to have some magical talent (I can't sense it from a far, but you can generally see the signs, magical people tend to wear their abilities on their sleeves, sometimes literally). Dressed in a clean black suit and with manicured facial hair, he took pride in his appearence (which made him stand out from the rest of the mud dwellers that existed in the game, Nidget included).  I also saw his bodyguard, a rather large man who felt shirts were not for him (so many bodyguards do this, I know that cloth won't stop a bullet, but come on guys shirts are nice).  He was also brown skinned and bald so we had that in common (though again I shave my head, his looked to be the natural result of poor breeding). So I knew who to look out for, and started a plan in my head to at least acknowledge that I knew something they probably didn't want anyone knowing (because the best way to avoid getting killed is to inform the people doing it that you are aware of them... right this works I swear).

Nidget finished his game early and I thought it meant he was done for the whole thing and my planning was for naught.  But no he stood up triumphantly got chastised for the spectacle and told me he was done for the day.  We walked back to the hotel in silence, he went to go to sleep, I stuck around in the casino area to try and make money (because like the saying goes a sucker is born every hundred years and I've lived long enough to be a double sucker!) I was also killing time hoping to see the well dressed man and his shirtless bodyguard, and wouldn't you know it... I did just that.  But that's tomorrow! I have a big shipment coming in today, and I have to make sure Captain Therod doesn't get up in my face about it, or if she does she doesn't actually find out whats in it!

Forgive Me Nidget for I Have Sinned

"So that's what you do?" We had been back in his hotel room for a little bit, just relaxing, well I was relaxing Nidget was pacing like we'd been involved in a crime, because well we had.

"What kill people? Yeah several, that's what you expected when you said I was your bodyguard right?" I knew what he meant, but you know I don't like admitting to necromancy, its one of those things that once you start telling the truth about people start asking more questions and then you have to kill them too... Yeah I'll admit I've done that... maybe... OH LOOK ANOTHER PARAGRAPH!

"But you didn't just kill that guy."

"You're right I didn't."

"And look at you, you're looking younger!" He was saying this like I was completely unaware of it.

"That's right I am, look Nidget..."

"How old are you, really?"

"I can't tell you for sure, its been years since I lost track, hundreds of years old." Its true I don't remember my exact age... Look you're lucky I remember all the garbage I do ok, sometimes even then I think I made up half the stuff I wrote... probably not though, probably.

"Are there others like you? Is this whole world filled with people like you?" He used the words like you pretty derogatively, like implying people like me are very very bad.

"Only one other that I'm aware of, and he's not like me at all, like I'm cool drink of water on a hot day compared to the awful he is, I hope he got killed in the transition but knowing him, he'll turn up." I knew Morley wasn't dead, because I know either I'll kill him, or he'll kill me, neither of us is going out by something elses hand, I know this because whatever fate there is in this world, hates me so badly.

"I feel sick."

"Get some sleep Nidget you have your little card game tomorrow, and if my stolen memory serves me right you have a couple people to worry about." Nidget left to his private bedroom and I went to mine.  I'll be lying if I told you I slept all night, I didn't sleep, didn't really need to (the benefits of necromancy) on top of that I didn't know how Nidget would react so I made sure to keep my pistol out and trained on the door, just in case he decided that he couldn't live with knowing a necromancer (trust, but verify is a good mantra).  So Nidget and I both didn't get the best of rest, but that's our usual, since he's a thief and I'm a murderer!

You Need To Learn Better Instruction

"So what did you think?"

"The most boring thing I'd ever seen, and I've seen some pretty boring things, things you wouldn't believe, they are nothing compared to the utter boredom of your little gathering of creepy people who smell funny." We had just passed out of one of several alley's leading back to our hotel, I stepped over a down on his luck gambler (of which the city has several thousand at any given time).

"You didn't even find it interesting on the people watching front?" I did actually, such a collection of horrible stereotypes of dirty people together was a sight to behold, but I couldn't tell Nidget that.

"Not in the slightest." He actually seemed kind of bummed, I was going to tell him I was joking when the gambler I stepped over earlier lifted Nidget up in the air and held a knife to his throat, I turned to face him when three other guys game at us from the direction we had been walking, we were caught in a pincer attack.

"Give us the cards and you won't get hurt." That was the gambler, weaponry was a mix match of meele stuff and pistols, not Hanlon, but just because they were of poor quality doesn't mean they can't kill.

"Trezlan this is your department."

"It is?" I was supposed to be a bodyguard, I didn't actually think he meant it.

"Put your weapons on the ground grandpa." Again with the grandpa line, one of the guys that was now behind me disarmed me, well tried to, you should never ever touch a magic user, I believe I've said this several times.  I snatched his hand twisting it back and drained the life right out of him, he screamed, causing the other two guys to come running up their guns shaking in their hands, I burned through the emasciated husk of the poor robber who tried to take my pistol and they screamed their last moments in agony.  Turning to the gambler I had my pistol drawn and the hammer back.

"What were you saying about grandpa?" My face had changed, youth injecting itself back in, he screamed and dropped his knife and Nidget running away, I shot him a few times in the back and then walked over for a head shot just to be sure (you never want to leave a man alive to come for revenge, as I prove everytime to my enemies).

"How was that for body guarding!" Four dead people, and I felt younger than I had in a while, because I was!

"Late." Nidget much like me to him, never gives me an inch. I could see from his wide eyes though, seeing me do necromancy not exactly something he expected.

"If only I had been instructed better I might have been more on time, now lets get out of here before someone from the Guard wanders by, that kind of magic is certainly not allowed." Even in the Red Hand that kind of magic wasn't allowed (the necromancy, roasting people alive? Perfectly fine!). We made it back to Nidget's hotel room and I felt like solid gold money, of course I still had the screaming memories of a vagrant sell sword rattling around in my head, but hey these are the sacrifices we make for youth.  Well I make for youth, other people just die, because they are silly!

Bodyguards Are Like Assholes

Nidget's little card game was extremely secret, he had to sign in go through a couple back alleys, and then into a dirty little basement before being let past a scary guard and into the game proper. At least inside the game it was glitzy, like extremely so, I thought with the routes we were taking I was about to wind up in a place you see right before a man with a hood on kills you, but I guess it was all just for show, because inside it was all glamour and richness (which made my simple robe seem really out of place, thanks for the warning Nidget). The players all sat at golden tables emblazoned with jewels and various little holder things for their cards.  Judges (the real kind not the assholes the Red Hand used to employ) walked amongst the players to make sure that things were going properly, most of them looked ten years past dead, but I saw their eyes were sharp as they spotted a couple cheats early on and they were banished immeadiately.

I didn't get to hang around Nidget, I was placed with the rest of the bodyguards in a small lounge that overlooked the game (I didn't even know why we were there, there were several armed guards as well).  Nidget told me he wanted me to watch over him to make sure no bad magic was used against him, but his knowledge of magic was so limited he apparently though I had *sigh* magical powers to be able to tell these things.  Apparently he forgot I didn't even notice when he was mind controlled until I killed the guy who tried to do it to me. I also didn't ask where Andre was, I assume he didn't want the big tough killer from the church who worships war, watching him play battle with cards.

The bodyguards in the lounge were all real nice though.  Calling me grandpa and asking if I needed directions on finding the bathroom. I tell you that's the worst part about looking old, people start acting like you are old, I mean I'm hundreds of years old, but I don't like to be reminded of that! I enjoy being thought of as a wise scholar who you turn to in your more direst of needs.  Sure I screw that up, but I still like to be thought of politely!  The first day of the tournament was boring for me, Nidget won early against a guy who looked older than I am (and who promptly burst into tears) and I got insulted.  So a normal day for both of us I think.

The Game is The Game

"So who did you steal all this stuff from?" Nidget and I had been sitting in his room for about five seconds before I asked, so you know I was being polite.

"For your information I did not steal 'this' stuff, I stole the things that paid for all of this stuff, but my entry into the game is completely by my own ability." He referenced the game in a manor of reverence I'd never heard the little shorty ever hold, not even in the face of the Sin Mordere.

"What is this game? Just a regular card game?"

"No, I'm sure you won't understand the rules but I'll do my best." For the next TWO FREAKING HOURS! Nidget unloaded on me all the weirdness involved with this game, between collecting cards that have to be authorized by the authority overseeing the game and that were produced in limited numbers, to playing them properly in your deck during the actual event it was a mad house of rules and utter bullshit so astounding I was actually in honor of the absolute madness that it symoblized.

"Did you get all that?"

"Not in the least, but you know what I really don't want to know it at all lets just, lets just do this." And so we did enter The Game. And it was as ridiculous as Nidget tried to explain to me, but to his credit he did need me. Because if you have a game of bullshit, you need Trezlan Lorentino! Wait that sounds bad.

Nidget The Advisor

"Don't even think about talking to that guy." Mordere had finished his business negotiations, the smoking corpses of the corrupted he had killed had been pitched from the train, and the debris that had blocked the tracks allowing them to get on board had been cleared.

"Two things.  A. Why would you assume I wanted to talk to that guy? And B. Why not?" Nidget and I were still seated, waiting for a chance to get back our weapons from the pile people were taking their stuff (and hopefully just their stuff I mean it would suck to survive one robbery to get robbed again).

"Because you're an idiot for the first part, and for the second because he's a sin."

"Nidget I care not for this earthly gods garbage." I let the idiot part slide because well at times I am one, take for instance coming with Nidget on this train ride.

"Not a sin like that you dick, no he's an Assassin, one of the Fire God's errand boys, trust me Trezlan the less you see of him the longer your horrible life will be."

"I'm touched you actually care Nidget." I was briefly.

"Yeah no, I don't want you bringing him over here, he saw me briefly once and I don't want him figuring out I'm better dead than hanging around."

"And just like that the moment is gone." We got our weapons back and resumed our seat as the train started back up.  The rest of our train ride was uneventful, as was my rearrival in Lork, it had once again become a bastion of sin and misery it had always been, this time even bigger and more sinful than before.  Nidget had somehow gotten a very nice room (we had to share, but there were two seperate bedrooms in the suite so it wasn't like sharing the same bed).  I began to suspect like most things in Nidget's life he had come by this competition dishonestly... And I was right, but you know how I roll tomorrow blah blah blah.

Never Disturb a Man's Beauty Sleep

"Don't move, blink, or you ugly crazy bitch even look at me funny." One of corrupted sent to pillage the luggage had returned with a friend, a friend holding him hostage with a long thin looking dagger in his other hand was a revolver pointed at the other corrupted near us.  I didn't know his name or know him from anyone else, but Nidget did, it was Valerind Modere, a Sin Nidget had run into in the past, though I did know he was using the Hand of the Fire God pistol, I hadn't seen it for long in the past, but you never forget something like it.

"Where's Roy?" The corrupted to the crazy mages left asked the questions, the other corrupted who were in the middle of some bench's looting and stopped looting and moved to the center isle, making them five deep against Mordere, not that it looked like he would have had an issue with it. I saw the guy talking had drawn a pistol of his own.

"Oh was that what that thing was called, well Roy will be waiting for you in the afterlife if you so much as think about pulling that pistol, who run's this train?" Mordere didn't talk loud, he wasn't quietly voiced, but he had a very even tone that betrayed zero emotion either way.  Like he discussed killing someone with the same fair I do in ordering coffee. He also had only one eye, well one functioning eye, his left eye was just a glazed over dead thing, a long car starting at the top of his forehead and terminating just below his cheekbone the most likely culprit, ordinarily this would mess with someones aim, but it apparently didn't bother Mordere.

"I I I I I I run this train." Young man didn't look like he ran much of anything he was directly to the right of the speaking corrupted, when he spoke up the speaking one pointed his pistol at him.

"How much?"

"I don't understand the question." The train operator seemed confused by the whole situation in general.

"You shut your damn filthy mouth." That was the corrupted, I could see he was really tense on that trigger.

"How much to kill these men and get your train running again?"

"You bas..." Talking corrupted took a bullet between the eyes (which showed that Hand of the Fire God was just loaded with regular ammunition, a relief considering the last time I saw it fired well it would have taken out the whole front of the train).  Mordere slit the throat of the man he was holding hostage and fanned down the rest, including the corrupt magic user, she never said a word.

"I'm sorry where were we before we were rudely interrupted?" Mordere had his still smoking revolver out, and he was standing next to the train man.  And that's where I'll leave this today, my hand's cramping up, yeah yeah yeah, EAT ME!