Another Satisfied Customer

"I need a gun." Young impossibly young, and stupid, my favorite kind of customer.

"You want a rifle, a shotgun, or a pistol? We don't sell 'guns' here." Gun is another word for penis folks, no I'm not making that up.  If you don't know what a penis is because your some kind of weird asexual creature READ SOME BIOLOGY!

"Uhhhh a pistol!" Did I mention stupid? So stupid. He had blonde hair and couldn't have been much older than getting kicked out of the house age (so for me like fifteen, for real families eighteen).

"Which type of pistol?" I displayed the cheapest varieties I sold (because he looked like he had very little money to his name also a better quality pistol would have been a waste of money on him).

"That one!" He pointed at the only shiny looking one I had deposited on the counter, now I only sell Hanlon guns so they are all decentish, but I did know that particular brand of pistol was more for show than shooting so perfect for my moronic young man.

"I'm not required to ask this, but why are you buying a pistol?"

"Got to kill the man who killed my family!" He deposited a bunch of coins and gems on the counter, a less scrupulous proprieter would have cleaned this young man out, but I'm an honest guy.  You can trust me I mean I'm telling you I'm honest, thats how honest I am!

"Fair enough, just don't run around telling everyone you bought a pistol here ok, wouldn't want my secret getting out." Its not a secret I sell firearms, and its not a secret I sell firearms to idiots, I just didn't want this particular idiot saying he bought one from me when the person he wanted to kill killed him. Not everyone goes after the fire arm dealer, but you never know.

"Right right your secret is safe with me." He looked outside and started to shout, "THATS HIM THATS THE SUM BITCH WHO KILLED MY FAMILY!" I looked outside and saw Valerind Mordere, I hoped there was someone hiding behind him.

"Is he hiding behind the guy with the thin mustache and messed up eye?"

"No thats him I'd know him anywhere, give me bullets all the bullets I'm going to kill him." Never before has a prediction of mine come so true, like I figured this kid was dead, I didn't figure he'd do it before my very eyes.  But I was a merchant first and a person way way last (sue me) so I supplied him with bullets and he went outside.  I didn't hear the conversation, I didn't need to, the kid said something Mordere did an about face (as he had walked away to the point that the kid had his back) and put a bullet right between the kid's eyes.  Nearby people decended on the body immeadiately and I happened to notice the kid didn't pick up his money which was still on my counter (he was in such a hurry to get out and die). So despite not wanting to take him for all he was worth I managed to do so completely by accident (I have the luck of no one, I have horrible luck the universe owes me a lot more than some idiots pocket change YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE!)  I was at least polite enough to set aside some of his money for a decent grave for the young man (because if no one pays your funeral cost you get tossed out for creatures of the wild to eat).

Mordere did get arrested, but for his part he didn't leave the sign of the shooting instead he waited for a member of the Guard and held his hands out for the arrest.  I sighed because I knew that meant I'd have to go on down to the jail and bail him out because I doubted anyone else saw the shooting or knew why it was and Mordere was the kind of guy to not explain his side nor care.  Stupid people expecting me to do the right thing all the time! Its damn exhausting!