Cave Inspector

When sneaking into places you aren't supposed to be its important to have a good story ready upon your discovery.  Because you are going to get discovered its a given, no one can remain hidden forever (well if there are people like that I've never found them!) So I made sure when I was creeping along a cavern which looked to have been more strip mined than carved to allow easy travel, that I had my story ready for the inevitable discovery.

"Hey you!" I turned, it was a solitary man with a lantern swinging in the darkness, I'd been using my eyes to see and had done decently with the over head lighthing, but I guess for watchmen they need something more than that. I stood up appraised the man who was dressed much like everyone else save the fact he had two pistols sticking out of his waistband clearly not the safest form of firearm carrying.

"Cave inspector." I admit this was probably not my smartest cover story. I could have I dunno said I was a new worker, or delivering a shipment, or looking for a bathroom, but no cave inspector was my play and thats how I went.

"A what?" He seemed utterly confused about caves and inspecting, and I could see why, it was a job I'd just made up.

"Cave inspector, you can't go around just making caves anywhere my good man!" When telling a lie go all in, I mean you are already lying, might as well put on a full bullshit show. He looked even more confused than when I had started talking.

"Who sent you?"

"The Guard of course." At that he tensed up, but I couldn't exactly say I was a government agent not sent by the government.

"I don't recall any official group coming through as of late." I could see his hand going for one of his pistols and so I knew I had to think fast.

"Well of course not, it wouldn't be much of an inspection if I announced my presence thus letting you guys have time to cover up the things I would be inspecting, if you'd just let me get my badge out I'd show you." I went to go into my jacket, I didn't actually have a badge (again it was a made up job I myself had made up minutes before), he seemed a bit more relaxed, right up until the bullet caught him underneath the nose and blew out the back of his head like a party favor.  Look folks if someone says they are going for their badge just shoot them, because thats what they are really going for, their own gun. I turned the body over and and put another bullet through the back of his skulls which exited out his face removing much of what he looked like, then began the process of stripping him naked.

Look this isn't some kind of new weird fetish for me I had a plan, a better plan than cave inspector! You'll just have to trust me. Well until tomorrows entry.