The Perfect Gift, Sort Of

"Do any of these say 'Sorry for life treating you like crap and making you short?'" I was in a clothing store looking at various coats, the sales person did not like my tone even though she wasn't a shorty despite selling their fashions.

"You know smaller folk are still people Mr. Lorentino."

"Sure they are, annoying ones who are of lesser standing in society." She seemed a bit miffed with my stance, she was probably one of those shorty sympathizers, you know the type walks on her knees doesn't treat them like crap. I tell you its one thing to think they are people, its something else to treat them that way!

"Mr. Lorentino if you keep up this attitude I'm going to ask you to leave my store." I was appalled at HER attitude! Also he prices were ridiculous so I put myself in a stomp and left. I figured I'd buy Val a nice jacket, but seeing how much things cost now I figured I could make better myself (I am a tailor as you may recall). Unfortunately clothing materials are freaking expensive to buy for one item and I lost all my useful contacts years ago for purchasing things whole sale, which lent me to just forget the clothing item thing and figure I'd buy some nice mugs for the bar (something I could get some use out of, the best kind of gift the one you give others that directly benefits yourself!).

Off I went to the local glass blowers, and when I didn't find them (look I generally don't do the shopping thing, you'd be amazed at how much I fail at being an adult at all times), I went to a department store where they sold just about everything (in little departments, hence the name department store, see I'm teaching you things, things you probably already knew). The store was crowded full of idiots attempting to buy things, or steal things, or just be standing in the way! I swear I hate crowds, and now I have a new hate, crowds attempting to purchase things! Ruder people have never been invented! It was during this melee of assholery someone grabbed my arm.

"Mr. Lorentino." I felt the tug and heard my name and I figured it was someone attempting to rob me, but alas it was not that simple. Nothing ever truly is in my damned life!