Detective Chandler can't handle his liquor at all. Like I'm a practiced drinker after centuries of drinking all kinds of horrible things, but Chandler clearly didn't have nearly my amount of experience or ability at handling the amounts of drinking we'd done. He ended up leaning on me so much on the way back to his apartment I was basically carrying him the whole way. I didn't mind because I was drunk myself and thus more open to physical contact even if from another man (look sometimes when your drunk sexuality becomes more fluid... we didn't sleep with each other or anything I'm just saying if something like that happens it doesn't mean anything, ok I've said too much). Chandler was so drunk and incapable I had to find the correct key to open his apartment door (thank the gods he only had 3 keys on the ring, if he pulled out a janitor ring we'd have been there till he sobered). I got him into his sparse apartment laid him to bed and slinked out (I left his clothes on, but seeing as he's a grown man he can take them off himself I'm not some kind of pervert.). I was slinking out of his apartment because I was drunk and feeling funny when I heard the click of a hammer.
"Sit down." I figured for a brief moment that Chandler had some how sobered up, got his gun and was now threatening me before I turned around and saw a completely different person just standing there like an asshole. Since I was still very drunk I'll admit I didn't exactly put the right kind of movement to sitting down. I held my hands up with a goofy grin and then collapsed on to one of the few chairs in the room like a goof.
"You got me officer, I was trying to help a fellow man to bed." Again fairly drunk not exactly judging the situation rationally.
"Chandler in there?" I looked into the room and back at the gunman and shrugged. I mean he had to have seen me and Chandler walk in, he had to have seen me come out, so who else would be in the room.
"Probably? I mean he gave me his keys, its got to be his place probably." He reared back with his pistol like he was going to strike me with it, and then thought better on it seeing as how drunk I was (I handled my liquor better than Chandler but I was still excessively drunk, and I'm an asshole so you know twofer).
"Stay where you are." Now I was drunk, but I could tell this guy probably wanted to harm if not kill Chandler, and while I was kind of not super useful right now I had to do something. So I stumbled after the gunman who looked at me like a parent does a small stupid child. I mean I wasn't even able to get to my feet, I just kind of fell on the floor near him and for my trouble and he kicked me in the face. Which seemed like a gross over compensation for my drunken stumbling, how did he not know I wasn't just trying to go to the bathroom? I ask you this knowing full well I intended on trying to stop him from hurting Chandler. As I was trying to get to my feet I heard a gun shot, shockingly it was Chandler, apparently he wasn't as drunk as I thought. The man who had hit me collapsed on the floor his last breaths spent looking into my eyes.
"Should you like call this in or something?" I didn't want to have to testify to something in my state, but I was pretty sure you can't just shoot someone even if they intended on killing you.
"Give me a minute I'm way too drunk and if I call it in like this I'll lose my job." So throw out what I said about him not being too drunk. Still he was a damn good drunk shot, which is something he should have been lauded for, but modern authorities frown on this kind of thing I guess. So silly.
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