Everyday Assholes

Wize, Darla and Rolando were knee deep in waste. They were in the bowels of the station, down in the waste processing area chasing down a fugitive. He had arrived a few days before their trip down to the bowels, and had managed to not trip any kind of genetic sensor up until he spit on the floor. A move that shockingly caught a lot of idiots out on the rim, they apparently were completely confused that the station's sub computers could analyze their genes just from saliva. Rolando was still wearing his shackles, Darla was the only one armed, she had a rifle and a couple pistols on, Wize had to make do with the tools he had brought with him.

"Do you see anything?" Brubaker was on comms back at their squad's command room, which was pretty much a closet with a wall bank of computers and communication equipment.

"Shit all kinds of shit." Darla responded with her usual measured tone, she was walking in the lead, Rolando was behind her, and Wize was pulling up the rear.

"Something more specific please." Brubaker could see on his monitors all the shit, he was hoping they could see something different.

"Nothing but shit Sir." Rolando spoke up, technically he outranked both Wize and Darla, but it never got brought up much on patrols or retrievels. Rolando by virture of his magical ability was higher rank in the military, but also due to what his magical ability was, would never most likely be in charge of anyone.

"Speaking of shit, what am I doing on this shit detail? I'm not a soldier, I don't have weapons training, I'm just a guy who fixes shit, so why am I down here in this shit?" Rolando and Darla turned to look at Wize who was almost up to his waist in the waste water.

"We need you to open the locks and stuff Wize, Darla and I are terrible at that, Darla because she'd rather blow them open, and I look down on just simply opening a door when I can shift through it." Wize looked at them both with contempt.

"You're down there because I told you to get down there Wize, now shut up, are you sure you aren't seeing this guy? It's too dark on the feed." Brubaker couldn't really make out anything, but the equipment on Rim station was old and direly in need of upgrade, much like the camera's his group were using.

"It isn't much easier to see anything down here, and at least you don't smell this shit." Darla responded for the rest of the team. Technically the team were wearing masks that should have blocked the smell, but the masks were old and all the technology in the world can't override what your brain is telling you, that it smells and it smells badly.

"You know I don't think this guy is even..." Wise was halfway saying the guy they were after wasn't even down there when he emerged from underneath the shit and grabbed hold of wise, much to the man's abject horror.

"Put your rifle down bitch or I'll bleed this guy right in front of you." The magic user wasn't very strong, but what he did have was the ability to kill people by touch by "bleeding them" it was a rather awful way to die.

"Darla do as he says, put it down." Brubaker was in her ear giving the order.

"In the shit sir? I'd rather not I'll be cleaning gunk out of my weapon for months."

"Throw it in the shit or I'm killing this guy and then the other prisoner you brought with you." Rolando smiled, everyone always assumed he was a prisoner as much as anyone else, it was the shackles, it tended to work in their favor.

"Yeah also unshackle me you bitch, thank you man, you're saving my life they thought I knew you so they drug me down here." Darla dropped her rifle into the waste and it splooshed down, Rolando couldn't see her mouth but he knew she was very sad she had to do that. She produced the key to his shackles and unhooked them, she handed him a syringe as she did.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I said drop the gun I didn't say..." The bleeder was halfway through what he was saying when Rolando injected him with the sedative causing him and Wize to fall into the shit water.

"Couldn't have gotten him off me first Rolando? Prick now I'm covered in this, I'll smell like it for a week."

"Look I'm just glad it worked, that dose was his original weight, looks to have gained some pounds since his last incarceration." Rolando picked up the unconcious prisoner and Darla retrieved her weapon.

"He's all yours lieutenant, I'm going to have to work to clean my gun."

"Gee you guys always leave me the nice jobs." Rolando hefted the soaking man on to his shoulder and they made their way out of the waste compartment. At the exit they were met by Brubaker and a couple more guardsmen, who were wearing decontamination outfits.

"Glad you idiots stopped screwing around long enough to actually capture the prisoner." The three shit soaked hounds gave Brubaker the finger and left to find a shower.

"I hate everyday assholes." Darla said to the other two and they nodded their agreement.