I Feel Like We Got Off To A Wrong Murder

"Did you hear what I said?" The man with the gun and bad ink reiterated his demand for money despite the fact most people pay with things electronically. I mean robbers know that, they know this, and yet like the setting sun, they still act like gods damned idiots. It's almost like someone who holds people up for money isn't very smart.

"I heard it and you're very scary, but I just opened, how would I have money on hand as if people would pay me in hard currency to begin with." To me it seemed a logical 'go rob someone else' stance. He pulled the hammer back on his pistol and I lost my patience immediately.

"Give me money or you'll..."

"Die? How would you kill me? With your gun? With your tiny little gun? Do you think it can kill me? Do you think you can kill me? ME?!" I shouldn't have been surprised he shot me, I mean I was, but I shouldn't have been. The bullet hit me in the shoulder, it destroyed my clavicle which if you've never been shot in the clavicle it hurts like you would not believe. He was shouting more at me, I couldn't make out what he was really saying because of the pain and the loud gunshot, but he was really insistent I pay attention to him.

"DON'T FEEL SO TOUGH NOW DO YOU!?" The shouting felt really rude, but I believe he probably deafened himself, so he probably couldn't hear well either. I've never been one to taunt someone I was going to kill (ok that's a lie I totally do) but I'd really be cautious about taunting someone like me who is a vengeful dick with the powers of necromancy and the subtlety of a hundred pound sledge hammer. I spit on his foot and he went to shoot again, but the magic was already working on him. Traveling up his arm I heard his own shoulder snap just as mine repaired itself (which still hurt, good lord necromantic magic is like the shitty aunt of medicine). He fell to his knees and the gun hit the floor.

"Actually I'm feeling better." The look of agony on his face helped the pain I was in (and see how I lie I didn't even make it to the next line before I insulted someone dying...)

"What are y..." The gunshot ended his suffering, which was nicer than I thought I had to be. I was about to wonder what I was going to do with the body when the local authority came bursting through my door to see me standing over a dead body that was withering before their very eyes. 

"Ok so this looks bad."