A Fond Farewell

Well its been years thousands of entries and lots of spelling and grammatical errors, but I think I'm going to stop writing this blog now. You all silently have been great. I appreciated the exercise everyday to churn out stuff, but quality has fallen and I think doing a weekly blog is probably more for me, easier to produce quality (or what I claim to be quality).

I encourage you to read my other blog naturally

http://exterminatorsassistant.blogspot.com/

I update weekly and I like to think its got my signature style with the fun the three of you have appreciated over the years. Much love, thanks for the ride. And enjoy your lives!

Time To Step Into More Dumb

"That sounds like robbery."

"You are thinking of it too much in a criminal sense, we're just asking them to give us money in exchange for them not being hurt, more protection."

"Protection from us."

"Well yes protection from us."

"No." Nidget was attempting to help me find new work by telling me we should rob people. I was beginning to suspect literally everyone associated with Trezlan was a bad person. We were in a dive bar in a bad part of town (I swear every town I roll up in now has all bad parts, it seems since the war the only thing that really spread was inequality). Because whatever Trezlan did I didn't trust and so hiding out seemed like a good idea.  The only other patron at the bar was an old man who looked passed out or dead. I didn't even see the bartender which was fine their drinks sucked.

"I think that old guy is dead."

"Nidget no don't you little monkey leave that poor man alone." He didn't listen he was immediately rifling through the man's pockets because he's an asshole without boundries.

"I think this guy is some kind of treasure hunter."

"No Nidget no." And I kept saying no all the way to the transport and on our way to location of a supposed treasure. It didn't do anything to say, but at least I said no, it makes me feel better personally.

Lessons Unlearned

"So Trezlan was screwing with us?"

"Yeah apparently it was something he did in his past and felt it was a learning experience for me."

"Sounds like a shitty learning experience."

"Right?" I of course was worried being back in my time I'd be arrested again, but apparently Trezlan had done something for me in that no one seemed to even notice. Not even facial scanners picked up that I was a wanted criminal. Nidget and I were just really wandering around now, just a couple people looking lost out of time and mind. At least I wasn't wearing my prison outfit, that was a plus even if I looked like some weird history buff.

"Well at least we are back in the real world right?"

"Sure, unless Trezlan is screwing with us again."

"I liked it better when he wasn't a god, then his powers of screwery were only related to small petty things like putting one rock in my shoe for years."

"Are you joking with me on that?"

"No, well at least I don't think so, it certainly felt like he did it just to me." We just walked in silence for a bit. Just getting used to pavement and city lights after the desert and swamp we experienced.

"So what do you think we'll do now?"

"Probably get into trouble, its that Andre and I used to do, and at least you aren't religious like he was, that followers of fire shit got really tiresome." And Nidget was correct, we totally did get into shit not too long after!

You Can Never Let Go

"He was but a young child, far too foolish, far too clumsy, he fell." The old man was crying, the story too painful, too real. "He fell and wouldn't wake up, he just wouldn't wake up, so I did what any parent would do I made a deal with someone who I should not have and this, this is what happened." I still wasn't exactly sure how someone could take a comatose child and make it into the monster we saw, but magic is weird and those who make deals even weirder.

"So you want us to not kill him?"

"No I can't do it, I tried, I know he's a monster, he's ruined these lands and he'll do worse, I just," He wept again, "I just can't, he's my son." I understood though I had no children of my own I'd seen the way my father had always had to make hard choices when it came to sending me to do anything. It was in his eyes, the eyes of "anyone but you." Just seeing the poor man crying killed me, I wanted to slay a big creature, but the real monster was in front of me, grief in all its forms was the real killer.

"Nidget remove him please." Nidget understood, he lead the old man out. I approached the heart and I could see the small boy in there. He looked like he was dreaming among the roots and branches coming off him. I didn't want to kill him, I didn't want to destroy this monster because it felt monstrous even though I knew it was right for the world. I felt myself unable to do it.

"Harder than it looks isn't it." Of course Trezlan showed up, I'm sure he has no issue killing children and anything else.

"He's a little boy."

"Thankfully not real." He snapped his fingers and we were in darkness. Just a black nothing.

"This was a test."

"Everything is a test, some things more than others, this is a real thing I did once, I can't remember why or how, but I ran across that old man and his son, at first I thought I could just do it, I mean I'd killed hundreds of things over the years, but a small boy who's only issue was being clumsy? Seemed cruel even if he was now a monster. So I used magic, a lot of it, lots of it was bad, awful things, but I saved the child's life and ended the monstrous creature."

"So you ultimately did good."

"No, no I did not, the boy grew up, became a man, and did terrible terrible things, nothing that I knew would happen mind you, nor would his father. But all the same, by interfering in how things should go I got more people killed than I thought was possible."

"Says the person who said you sent us to the past and things would just work out."

"They did for the most part." He winked at me and then I was back in my timeline, Nidget was still there looking just as confused.

"What happened?"

"Trezlan was an asshole as usual."

"Oh so its a day that ends in Y."

The Heart of the Issue

We were in some kind of cave. We had been pulled under the earth by the monster and we could see bones of previous creatures. They lined the walls roots shooting through them. I assumed the creature just ate things, but apparently it drained them of their life slowly which was a benefit to Nidget and myself. Nidget for the most part had already escaped his roots, probably because he was short and not technically alive so the creature failed to account for him.

"So are we like in its stomach?"

"I'm not a biologist Nidget."

"Well yeah but you know things right?"

"Nope, get me out of here!"

"Won't that alert the monster?"

"NIDGET! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" I could have used my coldfire, but I was keeping my reserves of that just in case it came down to slugging it out with the monster. The little jerk finally freed me and we moved on from the "stomach" to further in, which definitely felt like we were inside the creature, despite being underground. I figured if we kept going enough we'd find its heart and be able to kill it underground (good of a theory as any other!) So we walked under the earth for a bit until we came to a central chamber and found its heart and an old tired man.

"I knew someone would come eventually to kill my boy." He leveled a pistol at us, I didn't even know they had guns this early, his hand was weak though and he couldn't even keep the pistol up before he dropped it and started crying. And things only got more awkward from there.

Not a Swamp Monster, A Swamp Giant

"That is a one big freaking monster." It was the size of a small building. I want to think Dave should have oversold the creature in its size, but I don't think that was possible. It was very much a creature, all made of earth and seemingly partially fused with the ground. Very much alive, a wandering animal got snatched up and eaten while we watched.

"Well everything is big to me, this one bigger than most." Nidget had that perspective, though I think he was underselling the size difference.

"So what do you think we do to kill it?"

"If Trezlan were here he'd say burn it down, so uhh you go set it on fire and we solve this little issue." I was hesitant to believe either a Trezlan plan or the cold fire would work on such a creature.

"So what's the other plan that won't get us killed?" Before Nidget could answer roots reached up from the ground and had snatched us. I should have known the creature would have noticed us, but you know when you are in an argument with a little person you make mistakes. Mistake like standing there like an idiot while it grabs you and slowly lumbers over to eat you. Mistakes like that.

Dave of the Lost Daves

"So really my family used to farm this land prior to it going all swampy of misery." The cloaked man was named Dave, the least threatening name ever. I mean tommy the evil person is just funny, but Dave was nice, he took us in and fed us and didn't try and kill us, so you know modest hopes from another human.

"Why don't you leave?"

"Felt like giving up really."

"So instead you stand around scaring people about the swamp of misery?"

"Well its more of a warning."

"About what?"

"Oh the giant land killing monster that lives further in." It felt like Dave should have lead with that. Like instead of all the hi's I'm Dave, maybe say "Hey can you help me kill this huge monster that killed my familial land?" But that's not Dave, Dave's nice.

"Giant swamp monster?" Nidget already started to sound kind of apprehensive.

"Not really a swamp monster, just a giant land killing creature, I dunno its like part of the earth or something? It really just turned this more liveable land into the horrid swamp you see right now."

"You want to kill the monster don't you." Nidget knew, he just knew.

"Yes yes I do." And so we set out on an actual good thing and not whatever Trezlan wanted us to do, because he's a dick and we do what we want!

I'm Shocked By This

"So I have no idea where we are going." I felt like killing Nidget wouldn't get me anything, but the satisfaction of the action would at least be worth it when my final moments came. We had at least gotten beyond the desert and into a swamp like region which didn't seem like one should be next to the other, but I'm not some kind of environmental person I have no idea.

"I couldn't tell Nidget, what with your charging ahead 'I know where I'm going' the whole time."

"Well that was to give you a feeling of confidence, I'm completely lost, I don't even know what continent we are on."

"I hate you so much right now Nidget."

"There it is, now this a proper adventure with a Lorentino." I was about to tell him where he can shove his adventure when we were stopped by another hooded cloaked fellow.

"WELCOME TO THE SWAMP OF MISERY."

"Let me guess your name is Ralph." I figured we'd get this started right.

"Oh god you guys ran into Tommy didn't you?"

"Yeah a couple weeks back."

"How did you wind up here, like if you were going for civilization you are way off." I scowled at Nidget, but at least the keeper of the swamp of Misery was nicer than I expected.

"Nidget's an idiot."

"Say no more, come come along lets get you something to eat."

"I thought you said this is the swamp of Misery?"

"Well I get pretty lonely and only half mad people dying of thirst normally swing by, so I put on some theater for them sue me." I wasn't going to find fault in someone being nice to us in this weird place, but I have to say the Swamp of Misery was pretty nice eventually. Maybe it just needs better marketing.

So Stuck? Horilarious

We didn't end up killing Carver either. Ultimately she was just as pathetic as Tommy, she vowed to reform herself, but we didn't really care either way. We did manage to take some money from her (we're not good people) and I got some new clothes that fit in more with the time period. Of course I was hoping Trezlan would come get us, but alas he was busy doing Trezlan things, so we were lost in the middle of gods knows where, during who knows when? Like this was a really bad situation for reality in my opinion. But I didn't know anything really! I didn't even know if where we were was real, and not just Trezlan screwing with us.

So outside of the cave of not horrors the rest of the area we were in was fairly desert. Nidget said it felt like his home which was also a desert, and that didn't make me feel better. I also didn't feel super smart we didn't think to bring water when we left stupidly. I suggested we go back and rob Dr. Carver of her water, but Nidget vetoed that as he said it would make us look like idiots. So dying of thirst was the preferable method!

At least Nidget seemingly knew what he was doing. I had never been this alone in a survival situation ever. In the war we were hunted but it was mostly in the ruins of things, there was stuff to scavenge. This was the wilderness, an empty waste! Completely different for me in so many ways! I figured Nidget would at least know where he was going. After two weeks almost dying... HE HAD NO FREAKING IDEA EITHER! YES IT TOOK ME TWO WEEKS TO FIGURE THIS OUT! HE WAS LOST THE WHOLE TIME!

Seriously? You Guys are Jerks

"Can you just skip to the point before you go into your big blah blah I'm evil speech?" Nidget had apparently seen this kind of thing before. The hooded man I swear to the gods legitimately looked sad at this request!

"NONESENSE THE GREAT TOMMY DEMANDS YOU ATTENTION!" Nidget and I just started laughing.

"Tommy? Seriously this is your big evil name?"

"What? oh like you two assholes are so superior." The pretense of things was dropped, the poor man just wanted to be big and spooky and here he was saddled without about the most unspooky name ever. Like I guess like Little Timmy would be unspookyer, maybe.

"Yes I'm sorry Tommy please continue." Nidget and I couldn't even keep it together to tell him to keep being all evil.

"No, not until you guys show me more respect, I'm a big evil conjurer! I demand your respect!"

"You had some fleshless monkeys and like an evil bitch helping you, that's not exactly like super hard."

"Those were straight from your nightmares! I CONJURED YOUR NIGHTMARES!"

"Ehhh, I'm not afraid of monkeys, and Nidget's not afraid of fleshless things, its just two things that were kind of annoying put together." I could see him getting angrier, I kind of felt sorry for him, though he did try and kill us, just really poorly.

"Leave, just leave, I'll unlock the door just get out of here."

"Well not without the money." Tommy looked at us like we were the dicks in this situation.

"THERE ISN'T ANY THIS IS AN ILLUSION!" He dispelled the money with a wave of his hand, "NOW GO!" Nidget and I decided it was best to just leave, you know let Tommy be alone for a bit.

"Should we like go back and kill him?"

"Nah, I mean he's probably someone elses issue, and this is the past right? We might mess up something in the future if we kill Tommy back here."

"But we are killing Carver."

"Hell yeah we are." Because screwing up time only partially applied to getting vengeance.

Fire So Cold It Burns

"What is that anyway?" We had dispatched the flesh monkeys easily enough if only grossly. I had taken to using the cold flame as more of a sword than just throwing it. Nidget was of course intrigued by it.

"Cold fire, its the only magic I know."

"Trezlan never taught you his necromancy?"

"I didn't really know him for long, he just arrived, declared he's a god and then disappeared, on top of that, I don't want to learn his stuff, its terrifying."

"Made him a god."

"And he used that power to send us to the past and get us stuck in a trap."

"Point taken." The creatures had stopped for now. I could sense it wasn't exactly over, but I had no reason to believe that, just a feeling. Clearly whatever had killed the people before was a lot more powerful than some fleshless monkeys. With no other options we kept going forward, figuring there had to be a way out or a way to stop whatever was inside, or failing both of those things perhaps treasure to bait the trap? The last one was Nidget's belief, but I couldn't find fault in his logic.

From the initial assault area we moved further down into the ruins. The walls of bone cave way to the more traditional stone work. Wall paintings probably in blood depicted something, but I didn't understand the language and Nidget apparently didn't speak it either so we both could just look at and try and interpret the writings as to what it meant. It looked to be some kind of ritual, but for what? Couldn't tell you. We ignored the writing and kept going down because that seemed like a really good idea!

Past the blood writing we came to an altar and I'd be lying if I wasn't surprised there was gold and jewels all around it. Like wow Nidget was actually correct. Of course immediately upong entering the chamber the doors slammed and a man in a hooded cloak showed up. So we had fallen for the trap, but honestly we were kind of there anyway? So yeah, fun times were indeed ahead!

In Sacrifice of the Dark

"So spiders?"

"No monkeys."

"Bullshit no one gets sacrificed to monkeys."

"I was more hoping, I'd love to fight some god monkeys." Nothing had attacked us yet, but it let us come up with what could attack us. I did want to fight some monkeys, if only because I'd only ever really seen them in books and never in reality yet, and I so wanted to fight some.

"Well I just don't want it to be flesh monsters, far too bloody, you hear me creatures in the dark? Have some gods damn skin."

"I agree skin would make things easier to deal with." I did find it mildly alarming Nidget had a preference and a reason for that preference. But you know somethings are best left unsaid.

"So we're killing Carver when we get out right?"

"Totally, like not even letting her explain, straight to the murdering."

"Agreed." Just then we were attacked by fleshless monkeys. So what I wanted, and what Nidget didn't want. The universe as always was a cruel mistress.

Suspicions Naturally Growing

The inside initially was straight horror, bodies, and parts of bodies splattered everywhere. It looked like they had all stacked up at the door hoping to escape before it was sealed, which conflicted with what Dr. Carver had told us. I found myself distinctly aware I didn't have my swords, or any sword, and really wished Nidget would lend me one, but he apparently kept his weapons his own.

"You said you locked yourself away?"

"I meant I locked the site away, just misspoke." Nidget didn't seem convinced and I shrugged, maybe she panicked? We had gotten inside, just past where the door light was fading when I noticed Carver wasn't next to us, she had moved to the door.

"Good luck you two!" I tried to throw some frost fire at her but it was too late the door slammed shut and I heard the chains and such being reattached. The metal had all sorts of runes on our side so I knew even my magic would probably not work against it.

"Why do you think she shut us in?"

"Because we're a sacrifice Nidget."

"You don't know that, maybe she's just afraid of what's in here and like figured we could handle it and..." With the door shut we could see more in the room, the ambient light highlighed the walls were made of bone and written in blood on the ceiling was "Welcome to your death."

"You were saying."

"Yeah we're fucked."

Dr. Carver, Survivor

"So I know Nidget he is well was a well known thief."

"Hey... well at least you knew me."

"But who are you other than Trezlan's grand daughter? Some kind of doctor from your clothing and lack of weaponry?" I hadn't realized the prisoner outfit of the future would look like a doctor outfit of the past.

"I'm a soldier, or I was I should say, the outfit is more that I was a prisoner."

"Oh? What did you do?"

"Killed some people for not being just." Carver's eyes looked down.

"Oh." I couldn't read her, whatever association I had with justice had been severed since Nidget took me to the portal.

"I'm not a murderer really, ok I am sort of, but its a recent thing I used to fight machines." I could tell from her look Dr. Carver wasn't really on board with what I was saying.

"Well I believe you! Besides its not like I haven't done some ethically questionable things myself, I mean when the rest of my team was dying I locked myself in a chamber and didn't let anyone else in." This was meant to reassure me and Nidget, it didn't really. We stood there awkwardly not saying anything for a bit after her revelation.

"So treasure?" Nidget of course spoke up.

"I'm not sure really, we were just starting into the chamber when whatever it is attacked."

"You didn't see what killed your fellows?" I suspected Carver was holding out on us, but I had no way of proving that.

"Nope, aren't you excited to see what's beyond this door?" I hadn't even noticed the door, it looked pretty evil with runes and other marks on it. I did notice chains as well, just a lot of bad stuff.

"Can we?" But she already broke the seal on the door and with it kick started our super fun adventure. SUPER FUN GUYS CAN YOU TELL I'M NOT BEING SARCASTIC!

Trezlan The Great and Foolish

"Where are we?"

"When would probably be a better question." I looked at Trezlan with a scowl he put up his hands like he meant not offense. We were standing beside a cave, there was a woman there her outfit looked odd, like she was some kind of archivist or something but the clothing was all leather and silk, a look I'd never seen.

"I recognize I believe Nidget, but I have no idea who the woman is, or how a dead man like Pavarossi is here."

"Not dead anymore probably, I have no idea Trezlan what am I?" Trezlan shook his head.

"Annoying, Dr. Carver you asked for help and I give you, help! This is the formerly dead Nidget Pavarossi and my grand daughter Anzi."

"My god you've bred on your way to being a god?" I didn't know who Dr. Carver was, but I liked her right away.

"Anways Dr. Carver, I believe this ends our transaction, good luck."

"Wait I thought you were the god of luck how did you do time travel?" I was confused, I had been already, but this was more confusing.

"Dr. Carver here was excavating this whatever it is, and her entire group was wiped out by local and other nasties I'm sure you'll become acquainted with, and so she cried out for assistance, and I heard her and came to help."

"Still confused how the luck thing factors in."

"It was lucky for her I was listening." He smiled at that and then was gone. Leaving me with Dr. Carver in some ancient when.

"Well this is awkward." She seemed high spirits for her situation.

"Right, well Dr. what can we do for you?"

"I have no idea."

"That makes three of us." It was an odd start for an adventure, but I've had worse, so much much worse.

Intervention To Intervene

"You know I sent you because I was busy." Trezlan had saved us, he just showed up and burned everything and then stuck around to be a dick. I noticed that seemed to be his MO, do something and then complain you had to do something.

"This isn't my fault."

"You didn't open a pathway to a dimension you had no idea about and then run out of space for that lack of knowledge." Nidget looked away.

"Ok so maybe this was some of my fault, but she's crazy Trezlan, she got us arrested again! Usually this is the kind of shit you'd get me stuck in on a longer time frame, but she's already well in deep with Oshujon. She's doing his work!" Trezlan looked at me with sadness, or pity, it was hard to tell.

"Is that true?"

"He gave me pur..."

"I had to kill him once because of his purpose, or destroy him, either way I did something to him once, and now my own blood is following him, this pains me."

"Well maybe if you gave me some kind of direction! I'm lost Trezlan, I don't know what I'm to do." He looked at me, and then Nidget, and then back to me.

"You need some kind of quest then? Ok well I can do that." I should have known at that point I wouldn't like what happened next. Least of all because we went back in freaking time, how does someone this idiotic have this much power? It's like giving a toddler an anti air battery!

Planar Problems

"I almost wish we were back with the police." The creatures were some kind of spider wolf hybrid, why or how was beyond me. The whole plane deal made little sense to me, but everything nowadays did. I swear being the grand daughter of a god was a rawer deal then being the daughter of a losing general.

"What Wolfiders aren't your thing? This is great." Nidget did seem to be enjoying himself, though I guess being a ghost sucks enough any activity is better than what you were doing before.

"I don't have my swords, and my magic seems to be screwed up here Nidget."

"Oh right don't use magic, this plane has some kind of oddness with it."

"YOU ARE NO HELP!"

"I'm killing things lady!" We were moving through the not city to some place Nidget at least seemed to want to get to. I still had no idea where we were or why Nidget had decided we should go here. We had fought our way from the prison area to another section of town when we literally ran out of space. The city had given way to just a gigantic gap.

"You freaking idiot."

"Ok so mistake may have been made." MAY HAVE BEEN MADE?! This is what he told me. THIS IS WHAT HE TOLD ME AS WE FACED CERTAIN DEATH! I didn't know Nidget very much, but this highlighted why I figured we would not be great friends.

Bad Ideas, On Bad Ideas

I was in solitary because they knew if I wasn't I'd probably kill more people. It was pretty boring waiting around for something to happen. I didn't even know what that something would be. I suspected maybe something with Oshujon, his grand plan to free me. Turned out it was Nidget and his not so grand plan to just break out of prison.

"Come on lets get out of here." He had somehow gotten in the ceiling.

"I'm facing enough shit right now, I think breaking out would be a bad idea."

"Yeah ummm I saw a group of armed men coming this way, so unless you want to."

"Ok lets go." I didn't need more convincing, I figured at some point killing me was just the smart play, so better to go wherever Nidget had figured to go. He threw down a rope I didn't ask about and into the ceiling we went. He got lost almost immediately. I mean I can't fault him, I had no idea where to go either, but I swear he thought we'd go inside to leave the building and what? Who does that? Who can't figure out how to leave a building? Eventually we found our way outside and into the gods damned trash. I figured it was a statement on how Nidget felt about me as a person. I could hear the alarms going off, they were coming for us. I had no idea what we were going to do since I'd already tried to unsuccessfully to leave and not been very good at it.

"This is going to be weird." I didn't even get to ask what he meant by that. He drew a symbol on the ground and then all of a sudden we were someplace else. It was a new plane of some kind. It looked kind of like the place we'd just left except everything was blue and cracked.

"Where are we?"

"Uhhh well..." Creatures were coming, I could smell them before I saw them.

"Nidget."

"Look this isn't my fault, it's Trezlan's fault remember that." I tried to remember that, I really tried as the creatures came. It was super super hard.

I Don't See How Any of That Is My Problem

"Captain." That's all they said, they came in I was bandaged up from the car accident. I don't know where Nidget was, probably in a hospital hopefully getting what looked like a nasty head wound looked at. Four of them this time, no name tags.

"Let me guess I'm in a lot of trouble." They all laughed at that, it was that kind of gallows laugh you have before something really bad happens.

"Multiple killings, and we are still trying to determine what the shorty you have with you is, he's not showing as technically alive."

"Well there you go, you solved it he's not technically alive." They frowned, people frown when you don't take them seriously.

"Where is Oshujon? What are you guys planning?" Planning? That was new to me, I didn't even have much of a plan from him other than bring justice to the unjust. If he had a greater plan that was bigger than I had he didn't tell me. I couldn't tell these guys that of course.

"I'm sure he's around, he's got plans for justice you know, justice plans." That seemed to scare them, I could tell from their eyes, at this point I knew it was best to keep silent since I didn't know anything.

"So you don't know anything either. Lock her up." I don't know why they had to specify to lock me up, I WAS ALREADY LOCKED UP! But I was taken away to a holding cell to be sent back to real prison, because that was my new life. I tell you for defending justice I was sure seeing the wrong side of the justice system.

I'm Still Lost

There were more dead men and even less information from my new short helper. Nidget was a lot of things I'd seen, an over explainer was not one of them. I was mostly concerned with his don't work with Oshujon thing, but I was also intrigued by the weird crossbow he carried with him and his dagger/swords. I'd never seen someone do the kind of things he did and really wanted him to show me, except we were already on the run. The men we killed had reported us to other men and it just spiraled from there. I found myself driving down a high way with Nidget hanging out the window shooting his crossbow at our pursuers.

"You have to drive a little bit more steady."

"It's literally my first time."

"You are doing well then! Steady though!" I didn't even know how to keep it steady. I was literally learning as we were speeding down the road gun fire taking large chunks from the vehicle as we went. So it totally was not my fault when I smashed into a police barricade and almost killed Nidget, well I don't know if he could be killed, but he almost had a really really bad day. I guess I should have figured having a running gun battle in the streets upsets people, but you know that's a detail you just don't think about until you're in one.

I did wind up back in prison though, that seemed unfair since I didn't intentionally escape, and really isn't reality a prison to begin with? No they didn't see my reasoning either.

Blame Trezlan I Always Did

"Mind if I have a drink its been well I don't even know what year it is, so I'm going to say a long time and leave it at that." He had red hair and the oddest facial hair I've seen on a person, just a long thing mustache with a short goatee. He was also completely unreadable. I hadn't had the justice sight for long, but I hadn't run across someone who had no actual anything like Nidget did.

"I can't read you."

"Yeah I'm not alive I don't think? Or I wasn't? To be honest I have no idea what I am right now, Trezlan says hi, he's too busy to help himself so he sent me, also don't do anything for Oshujon, man's a zealot."

"I don't even."

"I was a ghost for a time, long time even, I guess it was what happened when you don't sign on to any religious aspect of things. I wound up basically haunting a place hoping some idiot like Trezlan didn't come along and send me some place worse. That sucked, sucked even more when the world got wiped out, just had to sit there in the ruins hanging out with other ghosts, who are all pretty terrible to be honest, just stupid rude people." He was drinking pretty heavily from some undiscernible black liquor.

"I feel like I missed something important."

"Basically Trezlan's tied up with things, he found me just wandering around because he's a god now which yikes that's scary, and now I'm here to help you kill like twenty people." There were only five bodies near me, I knew at that point he meant in the future not present.

"Only twenty?"

"Well to start, been gone for a long time, I want to have a little fun before returning to non existence you know."

Just Short of Rescue

They came for me at night, I figured they would, whatever arrangement they had with the guards it had to not be obvious. There were six of them four by the time they actually subdued me, even without my magic I had a tight space and preparations against them. They put a bag over my head so I couldn't see where I was going, but it didn't matter, out was all that mattered, and the bag implied I'd be moderately safe until I got there.

"You are a troublesome one." Still blinded, the voice was deep throated.

"I try to be its in my blood."

"Keep up this shit and I'll see your blood." I couldn't see the man directly, but the sight of justice told me all I needed to know, he was a minor player in a bigger enterprise, but still quite a bad bad person.

"I'm afraid, you just can't tell because I can't change the tone of my voice." Somewhere I'm sure Trezlan would laugh about this. I was trying to think of what to do to free myself when something shifted. I couldn't get a sense of it at first because whatever it was didn't register, and then violence. Just screams and then death. Out of it came a voice, almost high pitched.

"And just like that rescued!" I felt the bonds undone, and then the hood. I didn't see my rescuer at first, because I was looking up top and he was down below.

"What are you?"

"More of a who, and its hard to say, I was once though Nidget Pavarossi the great thief." And it only got weirder from there.

Punishment is Different Than Justice

General population was a mix of bad people. Oshujon had given me the sight, I don't know how, but I just knew what these people had done or not done (the innocent were the hardest to see there, because since they'd been in prison more crimes had been done to them). I approached a woman covered in tatoos and scars, she was easily double my size.

"What do you want?" I hit her in the knee it was a solid blow that took her from her power base and brought her to my level, my next strike was at her eye, the squish told me it too was successful. Others were coming, guards, prisoners, I had to work fast. While she was off balance and unable to see I struck her hard in the throat to finish her off, the crunch of her wind pipe told me it was done. By the time I was pried off her the last gasps of oxygen had left her body.  Solitary was my next destination. Isolated from other prisoners. I knew this would probably be coming, from what Oshujon mentioned. But I felt clean in my purpose, and knew I'd be free again soon enough.

"You're in a lot of trouble you know that right?" Tom was the name tag, I didn't know if it was last or first. From the sight I knew he was not an evil man.

"For what?"

"Murder, you killed that prisoner."

"She's done worse than was done to her, if anything I was merciful."

"The courts won't see it that way." I laughed.

"As if the courts are doing real justice, you just punish these people, I bring justice." Tom sighed.

"It's almost verbatim what he said." And then he left, I was alone in the cell waiting, I knew my time would come, and it did, that's the thing about criminals, they never know when to quit when they are ahead.

Doing Your Job

"Captain I can't believe what you are doing now." I was of course sectioned off from Oshujon they needed to work me, find out what I knew versus what he'd say.

"Justice."

"Yeah that's one way of saying killing five people and stringing them up, and who is this new guy? He wouldn't say anything other than Justice." I smiled.

"Justice." There were five of them now, I guess we'd put the fear into someone if this was the response. One of our killers had looked fairly posh.

"Captain we can't defend you from whats coming if you aren't defending yourself."

"There is no defense for Justice, the wicked will be punished." They sat across from me looking on surprised. Then they left and I was moved back to a cell. I have to say it felt nice to be doing something and fighting the power. I don't know if that's the Trezlan in me or just doing something just, but I was glad that instead of just existing I was living. On top of that, being in a cell was exactly where I wanted to be, a lot of justice goes unpunished in prison. And Oshujon and I  were not going to let that slide either. We were as they saying goes, just getting started.

Justice Will Follow

There were five dead. Oshujon told me they were bad people, he said they'd done things to those in the poor parts of town and this was what they deserved. I didn't know if that was true, but Oshujon was convinced of it and that was enough for me. We displayed them on boards, their crimes above their heads, he told me this was to warn others. Made sense, we did the same thing to the machines in the war if only to warn people about the dangers of them.

The people of course did not react kindly. There was panic, there was fear, but ultimately I think this was for the best. They now realized preying on others came at a cost, and that cost would be their life (or limb, Oshujon said not all crimes would be death, we could take a limb). To me though, the people should have been thankful, justice was not being carried out, and then it was. The five were a sign, we were there to right some wrongs.

"When will they learn?"I asked Oshujon as we left the slums.

"In time, justice when denied long enough people lose hope. We will give them hope, and we will make the bad people fear us, you just have to be patient."

Of course the first bad people who feared us were the actual authorities who were tipped off by the people in the slums. I tell you, you give people justice and then they get you arrested. THERE IS NO JUSTICE!

I'm Just Done

It had been a long time coming for me to think of myself as a person. I never did really, after the war I just felt lost. Like a weapon you put in a drawer and forgot. Most of society moved on, I just drifted off, drank some, watched the world some, but outside of that didn't do anything of note. Oshujon in rejoining society had done more than I had and I'd been around longer. I mean sure he seemed to want to kill everyone in society, but again that was better than I'd done. I just felt lost in society, and lost in general after wandering a bit. I didn't even know where I wanted to be, so when I looked around at all the poor and suffering I knew I was probably in the wrong place.

I had heard of the suffering after the war, how we had returned to the haves and have nots very fast. I hadn't seen it really. I didn't expect to find all this suffering. I mean we had all kinds of open spaces and places to be, why would people be concentrated and miserable?

"They always exist no matter how enlightened you become." Oshujon had apparently decided to track me down.

"Says the guy out of rotation for a long time."

"It's universal, trust me, I can smell the injustice here, I can smell it everywhere."

"Must be pretty awful."

"It's almost unbearable." I could see it in his face, he looked like he was in misery.

"So what will you do?"

"Bring justice to the unjust, will you help me?" He extended his hand and I took it. And so two avatars of justice began.

A Society of Disease

"So how are things?" Oshujon and I had once again reintegrated to society. We got a personal escort from the apologetic machines to a remote outpost so that we wouldn't be thought of as machine traitors, and from there a week's journey back to regular space. Thankfully he was wearing clothes, and his swords had somehow become pistols. I didn't ask he seemed fine not to explain.

"This universe is everything that I found distasteful before, we used to put people to death for the very things you guys embrace."

"So good then?" He frowned.

"You're very much like Trezlan, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"I've heard that from my father once, he didn't know either."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Drink myself stupid try and get one with my life."

"Don't you have a higher goal, something to attain? It seems like you're driftless." We were at a cafe drinking coffee. I hadn't really thought of the aimlessness, but I kind of knew it was a thing I should be working on.

"Well no I don't, but you know there was a war and..."

"Been over for a while, I think you lack structure because its easier to do nothing and succeed than do something and fail."

"You're an asshole!" I got up and left him there at the table. He wasn't wrong mind you, but I would be damned if some long dormant concept of justice would tell me what to do in my life!

Justice Needed A Day Off

"You're lucky I feel in a forgiving mood." The naked man seemed more than a little angry at Hanlon. I thought he should put on pants, but you know that's me thinking pants are a thing people should want.

"So you've been locked away for hundreds of years, just think you avoided a lot of bullshit."

"Who's the girl?"

"Trezlan's grand daughter, Trezlan is a god now." The man looked amused.

"More of one you mean? He was pretty godlike before."

"I'm so lost." I was lost before, I was even more lost now.

"This is Oshujon he used to be an agent of justice before he decided to kill the gods and well some shit happened and he was locked away in those swords until just now."

"Oh that makes sense." It didn't make sense, none of it did! It was all crazy! But I was on board the crazy train, it had left the station.

"Well you two should catch up, I'm just going to." And then Hanlon was gone, I guess whatever anti magic was in the room died with Morley? Or maybe it hadn't been there in the first place, but there I was with an agent of justice naked as the day is long.

"So this is awkward."

"Yeah I need pants."

"Thank you, pants would be a big step up." So justice and I got to hang out, it was nice, aside from that whole 'embodiment of justice' thing that kept getting in the way.

Enter The Spider

Something was off. I didn't see it at first because of the wonder of all the things there. But it was too new if it made any sense. There was no dust on anything, unless Trezlan had recently been there and touched everything, everything hadn't been there that long, and seeing as the machines had recently just thought of this place I knew something was up. Hanlon did not appear to be what that thing was, he was too mystified by his green blade discovery. So when the other not Trezlan showed up I knew this was the real problem.

"I had hoped for Trezlan, but I'll take you death god." His skin was pale and bubbly like he had a really nasty skin disease.

"A Morley how quaint I thought you were all dead." I was lost so I said nothing, I'd heard the name Morley once from my father, but I could not recall the context.

"You'll note that your powers don't work here, you're as weak as anyone else." He seemed confident. I guess because he knew the machines couldn't harm him, indeed he may have been on board the ship and I never noticed.

"Then so are you Morley."

"I don't need powers I have this." He procured a pistol, "My father made it, and I know it can kill you." I thought why he didn't just shoot, he had all the time in the world. Hanlon himself was amused more than anything, he touched the green blades and from them came a man. Morley or whoever he was seemed surprised, up until that man sliced his head off.

"I am so confused."

"It's ok My dear I can explain it, hopefully before our new friend here kills me." The man who was devoid of clothes and bald, smiled. I didn't think it was that funny, but what can I say I hate being left in the dark.

Hoarder of The Damned

Trezlan to put it nicely hoards things. Lots of things, all the things. I think in a previous existence he must have been an insect that stores food for the winter. The machines wanted specific things, but I couldn't find anything of value. He has journals, so many journals, all the journals. In every format you could imagine, dating back hundreds of years, some written in ink, some written in what looked to be bodily fluids, all of them damn near illegible.

Outside of the journals there was also all kinds of knick nacks, random junk and more than anything weapons. Weapons were all over, from all different periods, cultures and metals. He had racks of melee, and ranged weaponry , from functional to celebratory. I was honestly in awe of the various things. I got a little lost in there. Going down what was hundreds of years of various weapons. It was like an actually interesting history lesson. I didn't even realize I wasn't alone for a bit until the person with me spoke.

"Amazing what you can accumulate over the years isn't it?" Hanlon, the Death God was there, I should have suspected whatever wards Trezlan put up God's were immune.

"Lots of junk."

"Lots of history here, I didn't even know this existed until just now. I see all the journals he's accumulated, I'm sure if properly leveraged you could get something out of him for returning those."

"Rather not risk the wrath of him."

"I'd say he wouldn't hurt family, but I personally know he killed his father, several times over even."

"I feel like there is a story I never want to hear there."

"Because there is." Hanlon stopped though when he looked at a pair of swords that were green bladed, "Well hello, where have you been?"

"Friend of yours?" Hanlon smiled unsettlingly.

"In a manner of speaking yes, yes it is."

In the Lair of Lorentino

For someone with modern sensibilities like I assumed Trezlan would his blood chamber was surprisingly ancient looking. I'm sure it was because he was aping the style of something else, and once inside it would be all fancy technical stuff, but I was at least surprised by the outside. Of course the machines waited behind me, the implicit "or else" to my exploration. I was a little afraid when I presented my hand for genetic sampling, the machine that was hidden behind a boulder injected what felt like far too many needles to get the job done, but the lock did release. The door opened. I figured at this point the machines would kill me and go on in, but apparently the interior was also guarded against such a measure and so I alone would be the one inside.

"What is it you guys want again?"

"Source code, I believe its in there, something Trezlan claimed to have, it was only recently we had access to the memory logs regarding it." I didn't like any of this, let alone helping the machines, but I didn't have a lot of choices, and curiosity got the better of me.

"What would that look like?" I could almost here the machines voice sigh at me, but I didn't know shit about computers! During the war we hardly used them for fear the machines would use them to attack us.

"Well it would be data discs or storage probably by a computer or other technical device." The room was all kinds of books, scrolls, and other random garbage Trezlan had accumulated.

"Well how much time do you have because this shit is going to take a while."

"We have all the time in universe, you do not, do be thrifty." Easy for the machines to say they didn't have to sort through a relatives hoard like the worlds most specific archaeologist.

And I want to do this Why?

"I need your blood." I admit I was taken back by this, I mean I assumed something horrible, but not like taking my blood bad.

"You'll have to repeat that."

"Not all of it mind you, but I need you to get into a room for me, and the only way in is by being of the blood of Trezlan, and I can't get him to help me."

"Can't or wont."

"Either way, you help me, I'll help you." I didn't like the sound of that, I didn't like to think of the things who killed my father and mother as helping me no matter what they claimed they could do.

"And I should do this for you even though Trezlan won't because?"

"Because in this world you could use a friend, I understand we were enemies and we killed your family, but I am not your enemy any longer, and I have been a boon to your family before I was a bane."

"And I should just trust you because?" She unlocked the restraints and I came down hard on to the metal of the ship.

"Because I'm trusting you."

"Well without my clothes or weapons."

"You are a Lorentino."

"Fair enough."

Into The Machine

I knew the sound from the war. A machine drop ship had arrived carrying a group of their soldiers. For a moment I worried I was having a flashback, but the machines were new, not at all the previous versions I'd fought so no way could they be a dream or some kind of hallucination. They landed and did their normal fan out. They were always so methodical, in the army we'd hoped we could use that to their disadvantage, but the linked intelligence always accounted for any ambush no matter how elaborate, eventually we just gave up on the tactic all together.

I didn't know why they were there, but from the fan out they definitely were looking for something. It took me a terrifying moment to discover it was me. I had forgotten about their biological scanners, funny how things go when removed from a war for a bit. They found my fairly easily, but instead of annihilating me as they would have in the past instead of all things they wanted to talk.

"Anzi Lorentino." The voice was more human than I expected, though the AI supposedly had their own minds, its what they claimed when we'd kill one back in the war.

"Nope, I'm Delores Rathburn." The name was something I made up on the fly, from a book I half remembered. I heard the zap before I felt it, something that seemed weird, but maybe the electricity was on a delayed response to how my body was processing it. When I awoke I was naked without any weapons. I could figure the weapons was fair, but the nakedness seemed excessive. Not that I was aware the machines would do anything sexual or shamey, it just felt silly to be naked.

"Anzi Lorentino." A new machine more human form, I was on their ship or so I assumed and attached to some kind of metal cross, the cross inhibited my magic ability.

"Delores Rathburn never heard of a Lorentino." The machine smiled is the best way I could say what I could see of her face.

"Sure, well Delores you have the dna profile of Anzi Lorentino which makes for some interesting questions to say the least."

"My parents always said I had good genes."

"Dangerous ones, all the same Delores," The machine made sure to make it clear she did not believe me, "As someone with your profile, I need you assistance."

"And what makes you think I'd help a machine?"

"Your grandfather built me, I figured we can let bygones be bygones here, especially by helping me, I can help you." Against my better judgement I responded

"And what can I do for you?" She smiled again and I knew I should have just kept claiming to be Delores.

Like You Even Know

"You look great."

"Shouldn't you be somewhere doing something important?" My patience for Trezlan was at its lowest. Especially knowing I'd be waiting in a dead colony that reeked for at least a week (because I had planned like an idiot).

"I knew I smelled Hanlon earlier, but I wondered if that was just eyerocks."

"He said your..."

"He says a lot of shit remember that," Trezlan looked around like a criminal making sure no one was looking, "If you see Hanlon again tell him to kiss my ass ok." And with that Trezlan was gone. I should have been sad that the last humanish interaction I had was gone, but honestly Trezlan was worse than being by myself. I didn't transcribe so many dumb things he discussed I'd rather have just left that where it belongs in the garbage!

So I found time to just do anything but think of how alone I was on the planet. This mostly involved sharpening blades and setting things on fire. I admit probably not the best use of my time, but its not like I was on the clock or anything. At least I don't think I was, but I didn't exactly ask about the terms of my current service other than just "go here do this thing."

At least in time someone did come to get me, or I should say something. Because of course, nothing in this world is easy. I swear Trezlan infected me with his bullshit back when I helped him all those years ago.

Eyerock, No You Rock

Covered in the guts of my enemies I felt for a brief moment I'd never get the smell off my body. I wasn't even halfway done! The creatures were fairly easy to deal with, making me wonder how they got the colonists in the first place. But I have to remember not everyone is as crazy and vicious like I am. Or maybe the smell put them down? I dunno it seemed to make me feel awful so maybe I was coming up with excuses for what happened to the colonists.

Speaking of those poor bastards. I came across a chamber of them, or what was left of them. Apparently the Eyerocks had discovered human blood was good for them, I don't want to know how. But they had eaten all but the heads off of half the colonists and left their mangled bodies to produce blood until death. It was horrific to come across, just a bunch of headed bodies wailing to be put to death. I did them that, a final favor.

So when I came across the rest of the Eyerocks sucking on the blood I finished them off too, putting and end to their crap. It was one of those days I felt bad about my new life. At least fighting the machines in a futile bloody war was directed. Right now I feel lost, jumping from job to job waiting for something good to happen. Of course by blood I know nothing good will happen. Emerging from down below to the clapping of Trezlan solified this to me. I had been born to lose.

"See that was fu..."

"THEY WERE LITERAL MONSTERS!"

"Fun!"

In The Lair of the Eyerocks

I had found a rebreather to help with the smell, it wasn't helping. I didn't know how that was possible, but it was and I hated it. I had gone against my better wishes and decided to take the problem head on. I was slowly creeping my way in when I ran across another god. I swear to the gods, prior to the machine war being over I never saw any gods, now I run into them every gods damned place I go. It was Hanlon, the death god, I remembered him from my brief meeting before.

"All the power in the universe and Trezlan comes here with you, some people just aren't meant to be gods."

"Keep your voice down." Hanlon looked at me with a mixture of pity and apathy.

"These creatures do not have ears."

"Oh well now I feel stupid."

"Trezlan didn't know that because like every other thing he's blundered into he doesn't understand anything." One of the creatures did see Hanlon, I ducked down next to a rock while it approached, tried to take a bite and then died straight out. He sighed.

"So what do you want?"

"A lot of things, but more importantly Trezlan needs to return to discuss moving forward."

"Return where?" Other Eyerocks had seen the corpse of their friend and had come to investigate, I was worried they would find me.

"He knows." And then he was gone. Leaving me to deal with the now gathered group of Eyerocks. Because all gods in this universe are assholes even the ones I'm related to, especially the ones I'm related to.

Trezlan Lorentino, Master of Creatures

"So I the eyerocks."

"You said you called them eye guys."

"I like eyerocks better."

"Ok I feel stupid for asking, continue."

"Anyway the eyerocks are the original inhabitants of this sweltering awful place, they live underground."

"What do they normally eat?"

"Do you always interrupt when people talk?"

"Just you." Trezlan looked at me with perturbance, I mean I did ask for his help, but he was taking so long to get to the point of the issue! The man lives to ramble, and make shit up, and then ramble about the shit he just made up. I seriously wanted to edit a lot of his religious material with the actual Trezlan, but I'm pretty sure no one would believe how annoying the real one is.

"So anyway eyerocks have taken all of the people here, they have a settlement not too far from here, underground of course, where the people are, or should be."

"And you had to wait until one almost ate me because?"

"Theater my dear, theater."

"Trezlan you are the worst."

"Oh take pictures, to show people when you inevitably annihilate every living thing down there and no one has any clue what you did other than you."

"Hate you so much."

Beware the Green Mist

The mist showed up before the creatures. I noticed the smell got stronger and then the entire colony was coated in the mist. Trezlan also disappeared as I knew he would, he'd rather annoy than assist. The first of them was a small shuffling thing, it looked like a rock with an eyeball and feet. I had my hand on my sword and then relaxed, thinking maybe these creatures just needed to talk, and that maybe the colonists had been taken for a diplomatic meeting. The creature approached me, staring at first, and then the rock part opened up into teeth and it tried to bite me. I cut the little sucker in two.

As it died it made a horrible howling noise and larger rock eyes showed up. They didn't run, they shambled, but their size and numbers meant I had to fall back to the spaceport. Thankfully they didn't follow. It was weird, they were pursuing me up until I got to the port and then they just stayed at the edges as if held in check by something. I figured it couldn't be Trezlan since he just got there and they wouldn't know he was something they wanted to leave alone, and it partially explained why the port was mostly untouched. Well sort of it made no sense why the eye creatures couldn't get to the spaceport.

"So you saw the eye guys." Trezlan of course was waiting with baited breath.

"Is that what they are called?"

"It's what I call them."

"So there probably hundre..."

"Thousands of them, under the ground, its kind of glorious in their awful."

"And it smells worse down there I bet."

"So much worse."

"Even though this isn't your fault I want to blame you."

I Smell Something Awful

The smell was apparent when I stepped outside, it was like roasted garbage. Trezlan said he couldn't smell it since he can turn that off at will. Which told me he knew about the smell prior to stepping outside and didn't bother to tell me like a dick. I thought maybe at first it was roasting garbage, the colony was a very hot planet, and if everyone just disappeared no one would take out the trash and it would just sit and swelter, but I could not find any. I couldn't find any proof people had been there aside from the buildings themselves.

Just the damn smell, it was overwhelming and everywhere. It permeated everything that wasn't the space port. Which made me wonder how the space port managed to not smell (and also explained again why Trezlan said I should set up there). I was kind of at a loss as to what I was expected to do there. Like I'm not an investigator, I can't find people for shit and I don't know anything about biological agents.

"You'll be so surprised when you see." Trezlan was sipping tea, I don't know if he manifested or made it, but he was sipping it.

"This is like the worst birthday surprise ever."

"I never had traditional birthdays, so I guess in a way this is like your gift to me, I can't wait till they come."

"They?"

"Well I believe they refer to themselves collectively, its not He or she, its they."

"So cryptic." I admit I was more than a little terrified, and when "they" came, it was clear I should have been. Damnable gods giving vague hints.

So Who Did You Piss Off

"This is your stop crazy lady, please find a different way home." The transport was not pleasant to me, and I was sad. I mean sure I was what seemed like to everyone else talking to myself, but couldn't they have been slightly nicer to me? I mean I'm not actually crazy, I told them that several times which seemed to solidify their opinion I was.

"What a bunch of rude people." Trezlan ever the madness made manifest.

"Please just tell me you are real and I'm not like losing my mind due to some small dose of that neuro drug."

"You know years ago Hanlon used to screw with me by making it seem like he was a manifestation of mine, but I'm real," Trezlan then smiled, "Probably."

Where I had been dropped off was empty. Which made sense they said the colony was mysteriously empty and I didn't push the issue like an idiot. Trezlan who had manifested a bag plopped it down on one of the seats in the lobby clearly not intending on going further.

"So this is as far as you go?"

"Set up home base here, and then explore out, find out what killed these people."

"Or you could just tell me?"

"And spoil the fun? No, I recommend using this as a command center, plenty of food, shelter, you can reinforce sections... just in case mind you, I mean it could have been a space plague that dissolved the bodies."

"Was it a space plague." He laughed.

"I'm not that easy you'll have to try harder."

"God I'm just going to hate every minute of this aren't I?"

Trezlan frowned, "Well I am going to enjoy this, its like a game between grandfather and grand daughter."

"That can kill me."

"All the best games can." Which made me wonder exactly what kind of childhood Trezlan had, if he had one at all.

Crimes of Stupidity

"So what are you in for?" It was a prison transport. Of course it would be, I felt like someone in command didn't like me, which was probably true of multiple things. The prisoner asking me had a lot of facial tattoos I'd call unfortunate. I was the only non prisoner on the ship and even then I felt like maybe I was the only not shackled prisoner on board.

"Stupidity."

"Shit they are arresting people for that now?" He seemed genuine and for that I kind of felt sorry for him, if not for all the tattoos and clear scarring that spoke to a life of bad moves. Like we'd hardly been out of the machines danger and people were out committing crimes enough to get locked up? Didn't speak well for humanity.

"Just me I'm a special case of not learning to not respect authority."

"She's right charles, she never listens to anyone." Trezlan of course my constant bad advice giver had shown up. Charles looked at the sudden appearance of him as fairly routine.

"What are you supposed to be."

"Someone that won't die with his insides on the outside."

"What does that mean?" I put my arm on Trezlan's his flesh felt oddly hot.

"It means he's kidding enjoy the ride Charles."

"You're lucky Charles, do not interrupt other peoples conversations." Charles just leaned back in his harness and said whatever.

"So you are just going to bother me anytime I'm doing anything?"

"I like to believe I'm your spirit guide! Clearly you need someone around and I'll fill in the role for you." I was almost in a state of disbelief.

"So you have nothing more important to do?"

"Nope, and besides more time with my granddaughter." One of the guards turned to look at Trezlan, but he was gone. I have to admit if not for Charles saying something I was beginning to suspect Trezlan was in my head. I'd come to later wish he was.

Mission Accomplishedish

"So you released a deadly biological agent underground without caution to what that could cause long term."

"But I killed your terrorists."

"Before you knew if there were more of them or if they were getting help on the inside." I frowned, they didn't like my solution and here I thought I was the one sad people would die. I figured with my failure to produce a tenable solution my time with the government was over. I was wrong.

"Well since you like killing so much."

"I actually don't like..." They threw another file at me, this time it was all in that print plastic shit people love now.

"Colony went missing, we think, no word, we don't suspect giant worms but since you're a killer of those kind of creatures we figure if that's the issue you can handle it."

"But I don't..."

"Shuttle leaves in an hour, nice to see you Captain." He said it in a way that just stuck the knife deeper. I guess I could have said no, could have told them it interrupted my drinking, but honestly as stupid as it sounds, I enjoyed having something to do. Even if I didn't like it. That's what my life had become, so directionless I accepted doing something I didn't want to do just to do something.

Pretty sad right?

I Would Not Go In There

I knew right away something bad had happened. The door had become pressure sealed, I literally could not get inside if I wanted to, and I only kind of wanted to in the first place. I was wondering if they had put it in lockdown or something thinking they were under attack when Trezlan showed up with a huge smile on his face.

"Don't try the door."

"They set the gas off." He gave me a light clap, like pity.

"Kudos to you, brilliant strategy, didn't want to do it yourself, so you had them do it to themselves." I shot back from the door, which caused Trezlan to chuckle. "You don't have to worry the shelter already locked down and vacuum sealed the whole thing, I guess at the first sign of the contagion it kicked on some kind of secure procedure. So congrats job well done."

"So many dead men."

"That you were going to kill anyway."

"Not the point Trezlan."

"You're no fun, speaking of no fun looks like the people who wanted your help are on the way, I better go back to my gambling." And with that he was gone, and I was left outside the door with the authorities pulling up.

"Ok so not Giant worms this time." Needless to say they were less than enthused with what had happened.

Ok So Talk?

Armed men approaching me was new, I mean I was used to robots and other things, but people approaching with ill intent? I wasn't exactly used to that, takes some time to get used to. I guess that was something that upset me about these terrorists, we used to watch over each other against the machines, now that they are gone though we are back to killing each other and fucking each other over. It made me sad.

"Who are you talking to?" I wondered if Trezlan chose not to show up, or he just doesn't show up on cameras now.

"Myself, I like to talk things out, something I picked up in combat."

"You were talking about killing everyone inside." I noticed the men with rifles had them pointed at me, which made me wonder why the talking and not the shooting, then I figured out they suspected I had back up.

"Well you know how things go at a new job, first you love everyone, then you want to kill everyone..." I don't believe they thought that was how things went at a new job. The gun fire was a big "yeah that's not real." I ducked down as the bullets hit around me, I did take solace in that because guns were useless in the war most people now using them were terrible at shooting.

"Ok idiots before you keep trying to kill me know that I've got a detonator on the gas down stairs, and I've just dead man switched it on." I did not in fact have a detonator on anything, when I held something up to show them it was actually just my wallet.

"You're bluffing."

"Do you really want to risk yourselves with that?" There wasn't an answer either verbally or with rifle fire. I wondered if they were taking up a better position on me and so I waited for a while and when nothing happened figured they left. And they had! They even went back inside and locked the door on me, which kind of sucked. I mean how could I start killing everyone if I'm locked outside? The nerve of some people!

Trezlan The Moderate

"I'd just release the gas, it would be humane to kill them as they want to kill others." Trezlan showing that moderate nature I'd read about. Which is weird to say that you have read about your currently somewhat alive god relative? Like people had written "histories" of him since he ascended to god hood, and I suspect they were all basically written by him based on how positively they portray him.

"Gas could get out hurt other people, its extremely toxic and spreads."

"Safest way really, or you could do it individually, twenty five men, doable if you go a little crazy."

"What are you the god of again?" He smiled, I think he just liked being reminded he was a god.

"Luck, though I tried to lobby for planning, sadly the other gods voted that one down."

"Is that how it works you're just voted into being a god of something." I was amused by this conversation, if only because Trezlan showed up to inexplicably help me, but as usual ended up speaking of himself.

"Not really, I believe your godhood has to be something you personally contributed to."

"So plans would just be way out of your wheel house."

"Rude, shouldn't you be worried about the three men coming your way?"

"The who in the what?" But he was gone, and the men with the rifles were there.

"Problem fellas?" Yeah we had problems, real big ones.

Everyone Dies No Exception

To say the organization had no structure would be being generous. There wasn’t even an organization. It was a loose group of people who didn’t like government together bonded by having served in the military. It made sense because this was how things were in the forces of life against the machines, which is why I never was fond of whatever fake rank I may have achieved in the service. It had no meaning we didn’t really do things as a group, we just opposed.

I almost wanted to report back to the authorities that had sent me it wasn’t worth wiping these guys out, they’d eventually do themselves in through petty arguments, up until I saw the nerve gas. It had been “liberated” from the machines they claimed, but I guessed it was more likely stolen from secure lock up as post war the AI’s had turned over their biological killers. This one I had seen in action, it was an acid base, once it hit atmosphere it spread and was lethal to just about anything with a respiratory system. In the war we called it breathless, as seeing the destruction it caused took your breath away.

The man who had tried to kill me was a man by the name of Jenks, he was one of the “leaders of the group” he also seemingly controlled the breathless, which told me he was the one I’d have to kill first. Gone was my desire to keep them alive, or make sure they’d just disperse. Using one of the machines weapons against your own people because you weren’t getting your way was just a disgusting abuse of what power they could have.

“What are you doing Lorentino?” Jenks was technically my boss since he brought me on. He had his foot all bandaged up from where I burned it. I was currently sitting alone to my thoughts trying to figure out a way to do something without it turning into some horrific blood bath.

“Thinking Jenks, might want to try it sometime.” Being an asshole seemed to be the default communication technique of this branch of terrorists.

“Well can you think somewhere else, I get shit to do where you are at.” I was near the nerve gas, I could only imagine what stuff he had to do. I decided I need a moment to breathe outside. The compound was some emergency shelter that had been left uninhabited post conflict. It was mostly disguised as part of a bombed out office building, no one lived in the surrounding area. It was a perfect disguise for a group of idiots.

“So you going to kill all of them?” Trezlan of course had showed up, he made me worry for a brief minute someone would see him, but I was alone outside, everyone else too wrapped up with what they were doing inside.

“Probably.”

“Ooh I love these little moments, the calm before the stupid.”

I'm Totally Not Lying

The round was chambered, I heard him hit the hammer back when he put it to my head. We were alone in a field, it was just me and the trigger happy man. He'd picked me up a couple hours earlier at a coffee shop after I responded to one of their ads asking for "like minded individuals to join the cause". I felt screaming at me to prove my loyalty was a bit strong after I'd met the men recently, but that's now how he felt. I mean he wasn't wrong I was totally a liar and trying to destroy his organization for the government, but he couldn't possibly have known that!

"So do you have anything to say traitor?" I felt it weird he called me a traitor when I hadn't even agreed to his cause, it was one of those weird situations I found myself in post the war ending and humanity returning to the root asshole existence.

"Look you're ad said."

"SHUT UP!" The blow hit my neck, it made my eyes water with the pain of it. I was through with his bullshit. I roasted his foot with my magic and when he yelped I sprung up and grabbed his gun turning it on him.

"Look you balded malcontent asshole, if you want my help its there, but I'm not going to prove a loyalty test to you because you doubt my service or that I am upset at the government." I handed the pistol back to him. "You point this at me again it'll be the last fucking thing you do."

"Ok you can join us." Yep just like that burn a man's foot almost off, threaten to kill him, and then they'll do whatever you want. In fact I think Trezlan wrote a self help guide just like that.

I'm a Disgruntled Militant

"They call themselves the Blade of Life, its a cute name for disgruntled terrorists, but they are very much terrorists." Dossiers were scattered around on the display screen in front of me. I don't know why, I'm not a computer I couldn't possibly remember all of these names and faces, and its not like they wouldn't give me the info to take back, it just seemed like they were showing off.

"And why do you think I can do anything about them?"

"They are former military, you're former military, they'll accept you into their arms and you can destroy them from within." I looked at both men and shook my head.

"Gods this just seems like the worst idea."

"Do you want to not be in prison or not Lorentino." I wanted to just burn the man down and leave, but he had a point and killing someone else would only get me in more trouble.

"I just don't know if I can turn on fellow soldiers like this, I mean I'm not very far from where they are."

"Oh you bomb shopping malls in your spare time? Spare me the bullshit concern for soldiers, these people are dangerous and need to be dealt with, you do it your way maybe you can save some, otherwise its a kill squad and no one comes out alive." I wanted to be mad, but it was right, what he was saying made sense and if I cared about these people I should do something to stop them without hopefully killing any of them.

So this was how I wound up in the middle of a field with a man screaming at me to prove my loyalty. It was a rough week I tell you.

Hate the Day You're On.

I sat across the table from men in uniforms. They uniforms looked nice, dark blue, had name badges and some kind kind of partial body armor. During my time in the service we never had real uniforms, then again we weren't an organized anything, since the war ended the natural desire of rules makers to uniform up was too strong. I was of course shackled and disarmed it was mildly off putting, like being a caged animal facing hunters.

"Worms? Huge man eating worms?" They didn't like my story despite the bodies.

"I don't know where they come from, I just killed them."

"And everyone else on the outpost." I shrugged.

"They were all kind of dicks?"

"Captain do you understand what kind of trouble you're in right now?"

"I'm not a captain, I'm not an anything, I keep my patches because its a part of me, but I didn't join your bullshit so I'd be pleased if you didn't ascribe a rank to my person." I specifically never liked the idea of a rank in army when my father ran it, it seemed unearned when the only reason you ranked up was the person above you died.

"All right Lorentino, this looks bad for you, if you weren't who you are you'd be facing some serious charges." Only one of the men talked, Bridges, the other Lambert just sat there and said nothing. Must have been an intimidation technique.

"But since I am who I am I'm not, thanks for wasting my time, where can I get my stuff?" I got up to leave, but the shackles had me chained to the table so I didn't get very far.

"Why do you assume you can just go?"

"Because you said I'm not being charged."

"And you won't be."

"If I agree to do something for you guys."

"If you agree to do something for us, you scratch our backs, we scratch yours."

"I hate today already." I really did hate the day and it was just getting started.

Ok So This Might Slightly Be My Issue

When I emerged (spiders dealt with, something for another entry) from the worm it was to a sight of utter destruction. The town was gone, townsfolk laid crushed or otherwise killed. The beast itself was barely alive. My combination of sword strikes and magic to its insides making them outside must have done it in. Or the limited weaponry the towns folk had killed the creature. Either way it was dying/dead, as was everyone else, along with everything else on the small outpost. I didn't even get paid, it was the worst.

"I don't even know where to begin." Trezlan of course showed up, I hadn't seen him since he "fixed" the world. He appeared in a chest open robe with a bald head and a flamboyant red beard. He looked better than when I last saw him, but I imagine not being locked in an underworld fighting a never ending battle would do that.

"Begin with what? My glorious victory over the worms."

"Right sure, no one is alive, and nothing is standing, if there wasn't a transport coming in a couple days you'd be dead."

"Well you're here, right? That has to account for something."

"The absurdity of it, really I'm here for the amusement of all things."

"I feel so blessed a relation of mine is a god and this is the best he offers me." Trezlan offered me a smile.

"You wouldn't be a Lorentino without a god coming to tell you how much you screwed up."

"I don't see how this is..."

"You caused the giant worm to attack the town when you attacked its insides, it thought in its final moments that you were a weapon they unleashed on it."

"Ok that might be..."

"In fact you attacking the first worm that grabbed you caused this whole thing, they were content to eat farm creatures and the occaisional person, you made them think differently."

"So I just escalated an issue that would get bad soon anyway." He smiled again, I was beginning to dislike it.

"It's like listening to me." He disappeared, At least he told me a transport was coming. So I got to sit there among the rubble and come up with a suitable story for whatever happened to everyone there. I admit I shouldn't have been surprised I got arrested.

Problems of the Insides

It was surprising the amount of things you find in a giant beasts stomach. I mean other than me completely alive. There was various pieces of construction machinery (I guess to try and see if it was food) body parts of animals I don't ever recall seeing, and a large boulder. I assumed the boulder was some kind of traversal thing? But maybe it just liked to eat rocks. The stomach of course was also full of acid, extremely dangerous and acrid acid. The smell was also overwhelmingly awful. Just really a poor experience all around I would not want to be eaten again.

I had managed to keep myself from the acid death by using my swords as a kind of hand hold above it. Which tended to upset the creature from all the wailing and thrashing it was doing. Or it was engaging in something else I couldn't be sure I was inside. I did worry my solution was at best temporary, especially as I stayed there the acid rose up from the depths probably in response to my presence.

I being the educated killer decided the best solution was to just hack and use magic to free myself. It seemed like a reasonable solution that in no way shape or form could cause and issue. Nope nothing at all...

Look I'm trying not to spoil what actually happened. I'd write more, but I'm currently in a cave overlooking a group of spiders that are planning on killing an entire community later and I need to keep my cover. Oh shit one of the spi

Mega Worm, The Worm of Worms

The nice thing about the worms is they had convenient land marks back to their den. That being the discarded bodies of various animals and people. I was alone in following it because those who had survived the attack seemed ok with not finding out what started this bullshit. That's not me though, I like to know, even if it was a bad idea to find out, I have to know. This all lead to a construction site that looked less like construction and more like nightmare of bodies.

It made sense of course, the creatures hadn't been bothered until we bothered them, they might have been deep under ground happy eating gods know what and then boom we explode something near by and they find a new food source. I mean it didn't answer all the questions, but I was satisfied with the ones it did answer, and was perfectly fine to just let that be the end of it. Up until the Mega Worm showed up. Yeah I'm sure it had a better name then mega worm, but not knowing it I obviously didn't have a better one to give it.

I had just gotten done looking into the pit of gore when the ground shaked a little bit. I wondered briefly if the planet had some kind of natural instability up until the Mega Worm ate me. Basically a hole opened up underneath my feet and I feel into its gaping maw. To be fair being eaten wasn't as bad as I assumed. I mean sure it was disgusting and slightly off putting to now be in the stomach of a large creature as I assumed it was now going on a rampage, but it didn't really inconvenience me, and that was a benefit.

I also now have a respect for creatures enough to not eat them alive, its rude, and having been that creature and hacked my way out of the creature I certainly never want that happening to me... Oh shit spoilers.

Bad Shit Comes to Worm Town

There were five of them, or at least looked like five of them coming at me. I can admit here, safe and sound and not currently facing imminent death (other than bad food that I ate recently, the farts they are so awful). I was afraid, I was fearful I had done something beyond stupid I couldn't just luck my way out of. The rest of the town was watching me. I had moved to the center of town to try and I dunno force the creatures to come one direction? I couldn't exactly explain my thought process here.

"So are any of you going to help." The worms were moving slow enough that I could see them coming, but I could make a plea for assistance.

"Sure we'll let your next of kin know you died." I would have quipped this wasn't helpful, but the first worm got to me. It actually overshot me and came from behind (so it reminded me of a few failed dates I'd had). This one was fairly large, like the size of a small car, or at least the "head" of it was, I say head in quotes because its a freaking worm, learn some biology! Thankfully for me the machines also tended to use a zip by you and strike move, so I anticipated it, side stepped and slashed the head like so much bloody worm death. I sensed the rest of the creatures would make a strike at me with my back turned, so I quickly spun around and enhanced the slash with some of my cold fire arcing in front of me. The luck of Trezlan was with me as they lept up into my fire blade and all died the same.

Not wanting of course to hide my moment of bad assery I turned my back to their twitching corpses and slid the blades back into their sheaths. No one applauded the jerks. No one ever applauds. Sure they'll criticize you when things go badly, but you do something awesome and no one gives you a hand.

"Well why didn't you do that the whole time?" I wanted to kill the asshole down talking me, but really it was a good question. I guess ever since the war ended I hadn't really trusted my abilities anymore. I started to worry I survived on luck and not skill, even here it didn't feel like something I had planned, and felt more like I did in reaction. But the one thing I wondered was where these creatures had come from. The rest of the town seemed fine with them being dead, but I knew, I knew this wasn't the last of this and I had to figure it out.

Well that and I really had to pee and I didn't want to do it around those jerk town folks.

This Can't Be At All My Fault

"This is all your fault." Five more people had been eaten. The remaining people were all up on the roofs. The creatures had learned they could snatch people from elevated walk ways which is how four of the five people had gotten eaten, the fifth had simply fell from a ladder. I of course was blamed for this. I'm sure Trezlan could relate.

"Yeah I totally brought huge man eating worms when I showed up here, its what I do." I of course was not helping with my sarcasm.

"Would you two shut up, I think the worms can hear us." I and the man I'd been arguing with looked over at the woman who told us to shut up like she was an idiot, up until a worm almost leapt up and snatched me.

"Ok so you're right." It hurt me to admit this. I still wondered how many worms there were, or what we could do to kill them, but mostly I wondered how long we could all stand around on roofs without going to the bathroom. It was starting to become a larger worry for me, because I had to go and it was almost getting to the point of being painful. So I decided expertly it was time to just kill some damn worms. I did this totally on purpose, and not because I fell off the roof trying to balance going to the bathroom while also not showing the world my genitals.

When I hit the ground after I pulled up my pants I could hear the creatures coming. It was a low rumbling that grew louder as the creature approached. I unsheathed my swords and made myself ready. I figured they'd reach up beneath my feet as they had done before and was slightly unpleasantly surprised when the gods damned things leapt at me from under the ground. Like a shark reaching up to snatch prey on the surface. It was a bad decision for coming after me. I swung my sword and the cleaved the worm in two, it looked smaller than I assumed what had drug other people under the ground, and from the sound of a piercing wail when I killed the smaller creature I assumed I just killed one of their children.

"Great you just pissed them off."

"What are they going to do try and kill me more?" Yes, the answer to this question is yes, they did want to kill me more.

As the Worm Turns

I hate research, I hated it during the war when we were trying to figure out something to hurt the machines, and now trying to deal with some kind of killer worms I hate it even more. Like what's the point of reading up on things when you can just be killing them? I wouldn't have even bothered with the whole researching things, but since I couldn't see the worm creatures, and I didn't want to get killed I figured might be time to read up on them. So of course there was nothing on giant creature eating worms.

It seemed weird really. How these people had lived on the planet for as long as they had (they were here during the war, specifically to avoid being purged) and no one had ever apparently seen or been consumed by the creatures. It was a uniquely new thing, and that gave me pause. How could huge underground worms (well I assumed huge, they were strong enough to pull me under, and hungry enough to eat a bunch of live stock). Of course while I was reading in the library three people got eaten. I mean that sounds callous, but to me it was funny. I was trying to find information on these creatures, and while I was doing that people were attacked. So suddenly one farmers issue became everyones issue.

Which just meant my pay check went up and I was totally ok with that.

Something New To Me

Seeing all the dead animals confused the shit out of me. Like there wasn't any obvious breach on the property there were just corpses. I mean clearly I didn't know shit about whatever was killing creatures in the first place, but this was even more confusing that just like a fence being broken down. The rancher who went by Bly (I didn't get if that was a first or last name), seemed just as confused.

"So what's killing them?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that." I could have sworn at the stupidity of it. Like I was a soldier for the most part, killing machines, what did I know about biological issues. Then again this was my own fault, but I didn't want to admit that. I looked around the yard at the various parts of animal, I couldn't even begin to guess by the random assortment of parts, why something would eat one part over another. It was seemingly random.

"Did it kill all of them?"

"Nah I have most of my herd safely away until you kill what's doing this." Optimism that I could kill what was doing it, I didn't exactly share it. I did notice he wasn't standing on the ground with me. Something I'm sure a more experienced killer of creatures would account for. I didn't, so when something grabbed hold of my foot, I knew for a brief moment I had made a mistake, well several really but yeah definitely a mistake. Wrenched under ground at super speed I didn't have much time to react, just went on instict, which was to use the cold fire. It was my go to "Oh shit something is happening." A gout of it lept from my fingers towards what had snagged my foot. The creature yelped and let go. I dug myself out of the dirt and gave a stern look at Bly.

"What the shit was that?"

"What's been eating my animals, it's what I brought you here to kill." I could have just screamed at him for stating the gods damned obvious.

"Maybe next time mention they grab at you from underground."

"You didn't ask." He was right I didn't, didn't stop me from being super angry at him all the same.

Job's That Need Doing

"You for Hire?" I was sleeping off a pretty bad drinking binge. Someone noticed one of my blades had the logo of a unit well known around Palesco (the planet I was currently cooling my heels on) and so I hadn't paid for a drink all night. I wound up more than a little still drunk after the evenings festivities. The man in front of me said some kind of farmer, I had no idea what he expected me to do, I hadn't done any kind of labor my entire life.

"Depends on the job."

"Easy, it would be blade work." Being exoticly skinned had more than a few unwelcome job offerings come my way, I had made it clear after I almost gelded a man I wasn't fond of the insinuation I was a whore for hire.

"Biological or mechanical." I was delaying hoping that sobriety would just come on, but I knew it wouldn't. I'd be lucky to walk straight when I stood up, but he didn't have to know that. Figured I could sell it as swagger if need be.

"Biological I think? I dunno never seen marks like this, something eating my cows." Cows of course being short hand for whatever meat animal he looked over. I'd seen in my year since the war lots of things listed as cow that had nothing to do with the base animal.

"All right." I stood up and fell down immediately, my shorter sword went skittering across the floor, the only other drunk in the dive bar chortled out a laugh.

"You ok?"

"Just a little," I paused, I almost threw up my lunch, "A little under the weather is all, just show me to where you're parked and we can get going to your farm." He had to help me to the transport, a beat up looking military scout vehicle. I could see where he'd painted over the unit signal with his farm's logo, it was a fairly poor paint job. I did my part to help it out by vommiting all over it during the ride up.

"You sure you're ok."

"I'm feeling better, just show me where your animals are missing from." We went around the back from the main entrance and all I could see was slaughter, I didn't see one standing cow, just blood and bones.

"There you see my problem."

"I don't see any cow left alive."

"So can you help?" I tried not to vomit, and nodded my head.

"Naturally or I wouldn't be here." Bravado in the face of slaughter though to be honest I didn't have a gods damned clue what had happened at that farm, or even if it could be killed, but I knew that I probably shouldn't have stopped drinking. That much was obvious.

A New Lorentino

Trezlan is gone, its something I expected, but had not accounted for. Here I am writing a journal like my father and I suspect like his father. But now they are both gone. Trezlan "ascended" as he called it after he stopped the machine war, and dad is just gone. I hoped maybe with his god powers he'd bring back my father, but sadly he said that was a misuse of the powers he had been granted. I honestly believe he didn't have the power.

Me personally I quietly faded. No one wanted anything to do with me anyway. My father despite being our greatest leader, was not thought of fondly. His decisions now being second guessed, were thought of as the reason we didn't succeed and had to rely on the power of a supposed God (despite Trezlan saving us all everyone suspected he had no power and had merely called off his own machines through some kind of bargain). With the major threat dealt with tribalism took up among our people. Factions formed, and old hatred came back to the surface.

I knew the forces of life would do this, but I had hoped it wouldn't happen so soon. Pretty much a year after the war was over the galaxy was almost back to its old hating itself self. I personally was right along with it. I fell into a bit of a depression. Started taking any job that promised some combat, and that's how I wound up on a small colony on the edge of populated space drinking in a run down bar. And thinking back on it, I wish I'd just kept on drinking.

I Expected More

Godhood did not slow my writing process. Well mostly at times I find myself drawn to just existing and I fight that by being as human as I could be, which also explains God behavior in a shocking way over the years. - Chronicles of Lorentino

"Rough start." I was hanging around with my new god friends. Or god associates? I dunno it was Hanlon and the Fire God, we were at Hanlon's newly renovated offices. They were playing a game I didn't understand the rules of.

"Well it was my first proclamation before letting them just enjoy being alive for a bit."

"Yeah poor form Trezlan, you just solved their issue for them, tell them you're a god, and then leave them there with nothing? Could have at least smited a few non believers." The Fire God looked better than she did. I guess making sure people still survive, and showing them God's are a thing helped at least the two I was dealing with.

"This is the thanks I get for saving your asses? Typical."

"Just be glad he told the story in a fairly fast fashion, Trezlan can be long winded." Hanlon was as rude as ever.

"What are you even a god of anyway? I didn't hear." I smiled, it seemed like the perfect godhood for me.

"Chance." Both of them looked at me like they couldn't believe.

"Seriously? There isn't one already?" Hanlon I assumed would know, he apparently did not.

"Seems like something someone would be punished with, not something they seek out, chance is fickle sometimes your up, sometimes you're down, which thinking of you Lorentino fits."

"Well being with you two does feel like a punishment, I thought we were equals." They both laughed.

"Sure the man that is now a god is equals with entities that have been gods for their entire existence, what are the chance of that happening." I stomped away in a huff, and then went back to where I wanted to go. Which was my shop from all those years ago. It didn't exist anywhere, but in a place I'd created for it, but its nice, I imagine over the years I'll add to my personal Dimension, maybe even invite customers in. Someday, take a chance.

Ok I had to make that joke! I HAD TO!