"Go for the eyes Trezlan!" Morley was shouting from up above me, I was in a cage locked in with a large spider creature, its entire head was covered in eyes.
"Not really helping Morley!" I dodged out of the way of one of the creatures legs (normal spider legs are a weak point, evil spider monsters legs are a weapon). Why was I fighting a giant spider in a cage? Well Morley of course. See when he said gift, he meant me. Yeah apparently I'm a martial god according to him, and this was a display of my courageous ability (which meant no using my fire magic, yeah I was thrilled when Morley told me that before being tossed in here). So there I was with my sword, my wits, and a giant gods damned spider! Where do people get beasts like this anyway? Do you raise them from birth to be something evil? Catch it in the wild? I mean honestly. I swung my sword at its exposed leg and heard a clang, the impact sent a shiver up my hand and caused me to it. Stunned from what just happened I didn't even see the other leg the beast swung as it caught me in the head and sent me flat on my back (where I do my best work of course).
"You've got him where you want him Trezlan!" That Morley he's such a motivator, the spider rushed over on top of me ready to land the killing blow (with nasty venomous fangs). The damn thing was about the size of a small cow and still moved like a normal spider (I mean if you're big the least you could do is be slow!) Seconds away from finding out exactly what happens when something drains the blood out of you, I put a solid kick into the creatures mid section, which drove it back for a second. Quickly I took up my sword and swung for the creatures fangs, thankfully whatever protected its legs didn't extend to those things and with a hissing squish they detached from its main body. The creature lurched backwards and I got back on my feet, the crowd of shorties who had gathered to watch booed (naturally everyone votes for the flesh eating creature). The beast was enraged now, I'd hurt it (probably killed it without those fangs it wouldn't really be able to capture prey given a long enough time line of course), it rushed forward and I easily side stepped this attack, unfortunately I misstook its intentions and it ran up the wall behind me and launched itself at me.
Seconds away from being crushed and then gummed to death, I decided to risk a bit of magic heated my blade, and impaled it (its not like shorties would know the difference between enchanted sword and enhanced one). The force of the spiders jump and my own thrust had the sword go clean through it, I rolled with the strike and tried to toss the spider over my head, which worked for the most part, except it coated me in its digusting green guts on the way down. My enemy lay defeated behind me in a twitching mess. I stood up and shook the guts off my sword (at the same time made sure to release the magic I had in it). Morley was clapping, but the shorties were none to happy (which makes no sense you test a guys martial prowess but get upset when he wins? Sillyness). I was surrounded by the little buggers and their sharp spears and things looked like I was going to lose by winning (though honestly getting speared to death? Better than getting eaten).
"You are champion, you can face evil." Those were the words of wisdom from the chief. The spear wielders backed off and went to clean up the rest of spider creature (it went on to be prepared for a feast in my honor, I declined to eat it).
"Good work Trezlan, now you just need to kill one more thing and we can move on." Morley moved in as the shorties left, he had that smirk of victory on his face.
"Oh one more thing Morley? HOW ABOUT THAT THING BEING YOU!" I seriously wanted to kill him right there in the middle of that bone cage, it would have done the world a favor let me tell you.
"Relax you did fine and I'm sure you can handle this next thing, well probably." Morley exuded optimism let me tell you. I shrugged off his statement and went to find the nearest water source, I could smell the rotten guts on my flesh and made me almost throw up everytime I caught a whiff. Which reminds me, my favorite invention of this modern age? Laundry services! Really makes it easy to wash your last monster out of your clothes, I'll admit this is a problem thats mostly just me. Anyway, tommorrow I'll regale you of my short lived time as the champion of the shorties (short lived? God I kill me, that joke works double and tommorrow you'll see why!).
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