Friday, October 19, 2012

Afterlife? More like Boringlife

"So who are you?" I realize it seems like I was standing in that opening room for hours, but in reality it was just a few minutes I just like dragging things out.

"I'm the gate keeper."

"You aren't standing in front of a gate? That's an odd statement." He wasn't and it totally was.

"This entire place is a gate, you are not yet in the afterlife, this is the way station on the way."

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"Not for me to say Mr. Lorentino, you will have to find that out when you move on from here."

"Well that's delightfully vague, so whats outside of this door? Eternal damntation?" I opened the door and it was just a village, the kind of village that hasn't existed in the real world for hundreds of years, there were people in it, though they all looked like used up flesh husks sunken eyes and all.

"Or a village full of people who look like their last meal was a year ago."

"Those are the other people currently awaiting the afterlife." They looked horrible, I mean I've seen ugly before these people looked worse.

"They were a caravan that got stuck in the mountains they turned to canibilism but as you can see it did not work."

"Well thats pretty horrible." I say this as a person who does the spiritual equivilent of cannibilism. I walked outside, the gate keeper said something behind me but I cared not for whatever garbage he was spewing. The weather was non existant, as in it wasn't cold, it wasn't hot, it wasn't anything. The sky was just a white space of nothingness.  I approached one of the caravan people but he murmured and said nothing.  It seemed pretty awful to die horribly and then get stuck in that horrible existence in the afterlife (like whats the point of dying if you still suffer? Which again should have been another indicator something bad was going on). The only thing the shambling corpses of the caravan could tell me really was how much their heads hurt, and I could symapthize because my head was killing me.  The gatekeeper tried to make it seem like it was from the gunshot, but why would people who died from eating each other A. Look so gaunt and B. Suffer from the same headaches.

So I was slowly catching on things were not as they appeared. Which was better than those idiotic caravan people! If I hadn't done anything they'd well probably all be dead, in fact they might actually be dead now because they are that stupid.  I tell you the children of this world are very good at dying, its like their one skill in life.

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