Godsleep

"Get up Lorentino." I hear this so often I tell you between get up and "You're going to die now." I have my entire life story covered. Yep just people telling me to get up, and people telling me to die, I think I've even been told to get up because its time to die which was the accumulation of a life well lived if I ever heard one.

"Just a couple more minutes." I say this even when I wake myself up, I don't know who I'm addressing in that case, probably the god of waking people up.

"AWAKEN!" And I was, the word reverberated in my ears and in my body, clearly The Marked One had called in help, I also noticed we weren't in our mountain meadow but in a damned cave, because of course we were. There were several beings in a green light, I assumed were the Gods the one who had called out to me to awaken was of course in a female form, naturally (I'm not a sexist, just if my day is going to ruined its going to be by a woman, wait that means I'm a sexist, SO BE IT!)

"Funny I don't remember ordering any gods, oh waiter I think you got my order wrong." As in all things being an asshole comes paramount even over dealing with Gods. I could see from the Marked One's grimace that that was the wrong thing to say, but again I care for saying the right thing like I care for being in fashion, not at all.

"LORENTINO YOU SHALL OBSERVE US OR YOU SHALL PERISH!" And with that more people telling me what I had to do came to pass.  I'll go into it more tomorrow but I'm in a bit of a rush today I kind of uhh set fire to an orphanage that may or may not have contained a lot of orphans.  Funny story that I hope to never have to tell (at least until the statute of limitations runs out on that, is that even a thing? It totally should be).