Maybe, Maybe I Should Have Just Been a Baker

"You said you help people!" My office was just a desk with some bookshelves (hilariously it looked more like the offices of lawyers) I didn't have my full agency name stenciled on the door because it didn't fit and it cost too much (look I have money but I'm not an idiot! Mostly) so instead it was just stenciled Lorentino. I didn't even have a window, but the office space was cheap and I still got a decent amount of foot traffic considering what I did while legal was just barely legal.

"Yes I help people when they are actually being afflicted by the magical, you just have a wife you don't like completely different affliction, lawyers are down the hall take a right." I give this instruction more often than not to tell you the truth, its kind of sad how many spurned spouses think because they go limp that magic is involved. Your dick doesn't work because the gods don't want it to to work you aholes!

"She's trying to kill me Mr. Lorentino don't you see that?" It would seem strange to turn down easy money like this you'll think, but its not easy money, and he wasn't dealing with any kind of magical situation. See I'm a problem solver, but I don't solve peoples marital issues, if there is one thing I've learned in hundreds of years, married people are to be avoided like well married people.

"Out, get out of my office before I show you what a real magical affliction is!" He left and I sat back in my chair satisfied I'd chased someone else out of my office (which again was common, maybe I shouldn't have opened up a business to specifically help people when I hate people? Nah that couldn't be it). It was nice and quiet for a time, well aside from all the sobbing I'd hear in the hallways (seriously I had no idea being next to lawyers would involve this much crying!) Seeing as I had some free time on my hands I went to sleep and hoped the next person to enter my office had a real problem.

And they did! Unfortunately it was the local Police captain, and well it wasn't like I couldn't have seen what was coming, but I didn't and so I had my next run in with the law!