A Plague of Failure

The entire treasure site had become plagued. I don't mean by like bad luck or mistakes or anything. I meant literally everyone in camp aside from myself and Dumphree (me because I have excellent constitution, Dumphree because I think the disease was worried it would catch him). I almost thought it was Hanlon at first, though he said poison not plague, but with the way the rot hit and then spread to the parts of town the treasure hunters were staying in told me it was not Hanlon (and that's why he suggested poison, releasing a plague can spread, poison really can't unless they have designed some new spreadable poison and oh I should keep that one to myself so no one does).

Eventually talk of the plague came back to the treasure vault and its weird sing songy curse. Now the curse didn't mention a plague, nor did it say "would kill half the town closest by" so I immediately wrote it off. Dumphree in what would become foreshadowing for how stupid he was, blamed it on aliens. Yes he blamed his men becoming plagued on being from not connected to this world. Did I mention Dumphree was dumb? Because he was so dumb, he simultaneously believed the vault was made by aliens and an ancient order of knights who to the best of my knowledge never existed. I figured the plague was from all the open water pits they had around the treasure site and unclean practices (Which seemed to be pretty much true, because when most of the men spent some time away from the dig site and in hospital care they mysteriously got better, which again lended itself to the curse, but seriously no curse you idiots just learn to not shit next to open water).

What it did afford me was time away from the camp to help Hanlon with his repeating rifle sales. Which ultimately amounted to me just shooting a repeating rifle and then providing some buzz words to marketing people. I really think Hanlon was just showing off the design (magazine fed by the side, smaller bullets than older rifles but more of them). Which worked because wow I couldn't stop talking about the new design with everyone I met. Eventually though I got back to the treasure site after the plague had cleared up and a few months (yes you read that right MONTHS) later they finally, finally started digging up the actual damn vault. I know it made me happy too, until when they actually started digging things weren't as they appeared. It appeared MY treasure vault was gone, I don't know how it happened, but apparently this was a different vault on my island. Or well it was but it wasn't. Thing we're odd is what I'm saying.