The Worst Injuries I do to Myself

"Oh you're back." This was my return from abroad by Nidget, have I mentioned how much he doesn't care about me? Because he totally doesn't care about me.

"Yes I your boss returns from my time abroad!" I have to remind Nidget I am his boss, and that I pay him to be an asshole to me, which seems weird right? That's weird.

"So who did you kill now?"

"No one, wait I killed something, I don't know what it was, but it died and I return."

"Hooray I'd throw you a party, but you know budget and all that."

"I completely understand, so how are sales?"

"Good good, you know when you're around to actually do them, also your tailor contracts are getting kind of piled up over there you might I dunno want to make some clothes for the people you've taken money from." He pointed to my gathering dust tailoring desk and the rather large stack of orders on it.

"Gods I almost forgot about that stuff." I say almost because it was back there in the back of my mind being ignored like my concience and where I've stashed my vast fortune (that last one is not a truth so much as wishful dreaming).

"Your customers haven't they keep coming in wondering when their fantastic whatever will be completed. I have to hand it to you, you're a great salesman, horrible actual worker though."

"Things came up!"

"Which is what I tell them, but maybe just maybe you should clear your schedule and actually I dunno DO YOUR DAMNED JOB!" With that Nidget left in a huff (not before taking his salary from me again I do actually pay him to be so insolent). I sighed and got to work on my tailoring.  Its amazing what you don't forget over the years, like I can still do all the boring edgework, hemming, embroidering blah blah blah not that you care, but its still there! I'll forget peoples names, lovers faces, but I'll never forget how to sew a button onto a cuff link and make it look snazzy.  I'm actually quite the tailorer, set fashion trends and everything, its my one cross to bear, I'm an adventurer that has saved the world, a prisoner who has lost his mind, and a god killer, but what people will remember most about me will be I make a damn fine sport coat.

Its hard to be Trezlan Lorentino.