When selecting a novel to read there are some important factors. First of all is interesting, there are hundreds perhaps thousands of books to read out there, but if they aren't interesting there is no point in reading them! Second is accessibility, if you can't actually read the words in the book or understand them, how ever interesting it may be is lost in not being able to actually comprehend! And thirdly and most importantly for this story and my survival, the thickness of the binding and amount of pages is infinitely important, especially when it comes to stopping a bullet. I don't want to say I choose books specifically on how good they are about stopping a bullet, but it definitely factors in.
So yes I lived because the bullet stopped on page 347 of the book I was reading (the title in case you were wondering was the Execution of Bolivio Bolares, which doesn't sound like a comedy, but trust me it was). Thankfully the members of this particular cult weren't exactly stellar at checking to see if people were dead or even bleeding (I think they didn't check me because I'd gotten blood splashed on me from Shobogon, but it was still lazy!) They had removed me from their chambers and dumped me ceremoniously outside for some poor jerk to have to bury. Now here is where I admit I waited until the guy had finished the hole before I killed him and knocked him in. I mean he in theory was disposing of my body so he's not a great guy, but I still feel kind of bad I played dead until he had done some manual labor and then deposited him into that labor. I feel bad about weird things. By the time I got back to the barn the ritual was in full swing, which mean people were eating people. Not like to death or anything, but chunks of arms and legs were being cleaved off and consumed. A weird sort of magical aura was in the air as a half assed made up magical ritual had been performed (which was why I had gotten the vibe from the vase of a ritual being performed near it, but not what type). I drew my pistol and gathered magic in my right hand and then prepared to hopefully stop the madness.
"Stop you must stop." I shouted and they all turned, half eaten pieces of flesh in their mouths, blood running down wounds and cheeks.
"He has risen!" The old lady crowed and I have to admit it did look like I came back from the dead. "The ritual has worked!" I sighed and prepared for an overly long explanation while the cult member stopped eating to worship me as their resurrected god. Now you see the importance of a good book!
Monday, June 30, 2014
Friday, June 27, 2014
They Call Him Mr. Winslow
Seated in the back of a car, the blood of my former employer contained in a vase between me and the man who killed him, seemed a little silly. I mean I've been in a lot of weird situations, I've placed myself in places that are confusing, but this one, this one was the most awkward and at the same point insane. I mean this guy literally killed the guy I was working with, and then passively threatened me to come with him, and I didn't resist! Mostly because I was curious, and you know what happens with me and curiosity, it usually means it almost kills me, and yet I remain curious, proving that I truly never learn. Which is sad for someone who is hundreds of years old.
"I bet you're wondering whats going on." Winslow broke the silence and while it was nice, I was terrified of what we were going to talk about next.
"The thought had crossed my mind." The blood of Shobogon sloshing around next to me, also crossed my mind.
"We're on our way to a ritual, I'm bringing you as my guest." A guest at a blood ritual, how quaint. And terrifying. Suddenly I found myself tapping into my former masters long dormant memories. Instantly I knew exactly what ritual they were doing, and why they were doing it, most likely. To say I wasn't feeling safe after figuring it out, was an under gods damned statement.
"I'm not big on rituals, and I still have my luggage, perhaps I can make the next one." Winslow did not say anything in response, but the doors cars made a distinct kachunk sound that just said I was locked in. And so we traveled in silence. We left the city and made for the country, industry made way to farm fields and eventually a large barn, I did not like where this was going.
"Get out." The door was open other men in business suits were waiting around, they all had smiles like predators. Winslow grabbed the blood vase and walked behind me. I felt like a farm animal being lead to slaughter, probably because I was. When I stopped briefly before entering the barn Winslow stuck an implement into my back that was most certainly a pistol. Inside the barn were more men in suits, it looked like they came from all walks of life based on their hair, facial hair, and wrinkles, but this was just me judging.
"Mr. Winslow and guest, the last to arrive!" The lead speaker was a decrepit old woman, the rest of the people in attendance were men, just confirming the horrible ritual I had dredged up from bad memories.
"Well it was nice being here, but you know I must be going." Winslow spun me around, I realized I was in the middle of the a large circle and this is never a good place to be. I could see the pistol in his hand and heard the gunshot before I felt the impact (which is weird because bullets travel faster than the sound, but I guess up close its a bit of a chicken and the egg scenario) he shot me right above my right pectoral muscle and I hit the ground (because when you've been shot you tend to do what comes natural). I didn't die (I told you that humorous book came in handy) but I knew the best way to live here would be to fake being dead, which worked out better for me. One of the few times playing dead actually worked! Hooray! Don't try this with bears though, it does not work, TRUST ME!
"I bet you're wondering whats going on." Winslow broke the silence and while it was nice, I was terrified of what we were going to talk about next.
"The thought had crossed my mind." The blood of Shobogon sloshing around next to me, also crossed my mind.
"We're on our way to a ritual, I'm bringing you as my guest." A guest at a blood ritual, how quaint. And terrifying. Suddenly I found myself tapping into my former masters long dormant memories. Instantly I knew exactly what ritual they were doing, and why they were doing it, most likely. To say I wasn't feeling safe after figuring it out, was an under gods damned statement.
"I'm not big on rituals, and I still have my luggage, perhaps I can make the next one." Winslow did not say anything in response, but the doors cars made a distinct kachunk sound that just said I was locked in. And so we traveled in silence. We left the city and made for the country, industry made way to farm fields and eventually a large barn, I did not like where this was going.
"Get out." The door was open other men in business suits were waiting around, they all had smiles like predators. Winslow grabbed the blood vase and walked behind me. I felt like a farm animal being lead to slaughter, probably because I was. When I stopped briefly before entering the barn Winslow stuck an implement into my back that was most certainly a pistol. Inside the barn were more men in suits, it looked like they came from all walks of life based on their hair, facial hair, and wrinkles, but this was just me judging.
"Mr. Winslow and guest, the last to arrive!" The lead speaker was a decrepit old woman, the rest of the people in attendance were men, just confirming the horrible ritual I had dredged up from bad memories.
"Well it was nice being here, but you know I must be going." Winslow spun me around, I realized I was in the middle of the a large circle and this is never a good place to be. I could see the pistol in his hand and heard the gunshot before I felt the impact (which is weird because bullets travel faster than the sound, but I guess up close its a bit of a chicken and the egg scenario) he shot me right above my right pectoral muscle and I hit the ground (because when you've been shot you tend to do what comes natural). I didn't die (I told you that humorous book came in handy) but I knew the best way to live here would be to fake being dead, which worked out better for me. One of the few times playing dead actually worked! Hooray! Don't try this with bears though, it does not work, TRUST ME!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
It's a Cut Throat Business
The lands to the North had changed a lot since I'd last been there (though my last trip wasn't exactly through all the civilized areas under the best circumstances). Industry and innovation was all over, I saw a lot of technologies the guard were very far behind on (street signals, better roads, actual authorities not corrupted by necromancers... that last one was of course a judgement on my part). I tell you the modern world is terrifying to me, it seems just as soon as I get used to one facet of it, another completely new facet pops up. Like in previous centuries when things moved forward it was at a slower pace, in the last fifty years the world is rushing around like its hair on fire. New fire arms technology, new cooking technology, new everything technology. Which just means more ways to die! (And I am so adverse to dying, so I find it important to stay up on everything). Shobogon didn't seem to care at all at the modern whizbang things around him (probably since he had grown up with them, where as I was just dealing with them as someone who knew simpler times.
We had caught a paid servant car from the airfield and the gruff drive offered some small talk as he dangerously drove us around the streets of a city whose name I either didn't catch or didn't pay attention to (shocking I'm usually so good about the details). We arrived at a warehouse in area full of them, I was about to ask Shobogon if he had the right address when he paid the hired driver and the guy drove off. Apparently we were at our destination whether I wanted us to be there or not. Inside the warehouse was mostly empty, just a table with three chairs, one of them occupied. I did feel out of sorts, I still had my stupid luggage with me since we had left the airfield without checking in at all!
"Gentleman come in." The voice was loud and seemed to fill the warehouse despite it being a fairly large, if empty, building. Shobogon ran to his seat and left the vase sitting on the table. I put my luggage at the front of the warehouse and took my time coming to the table, because I like people to wait for me.
"Mr. Winslow, sorry we're late." I wasn't aware we were late, we had arrived as soon as possible, but I guess Shobogon felt we were late.
"None sense you aren't late, we didn't set a time for this meeting other than today, who's your friend he looks a bit scrawny for a body guard." I have to admit I hadn't been getting my usual meals for a while, nor had I really been in the best of shape anyway, still made me sad to be thought of as not built enough to be a bodyguard.
"He's my expert."
"Ah I don't need that, but if you feel you do, feel free, greetings Mr?" He left it hanging but something in his eyes told me he already knew.
"Lorentino."
"Trezlan Lorentino?"
"Yes." I sat down with an uneasy glance, he extended his hand for a greeting, but as a necromancer I try and avoid physical contact for a variety of reasons, I politely declined.
"You must be a fourth or fifth with that name for as long as my group has heard it on lips."
"The sixth actually." It was a lie I used to cover up the necromancy, claim to be a descendant of myself, no one really buys it, but much like a lot of polite fictions, it makes things less awkward than the truth.
"I've always found it strange your family stick with Trezlan, such an ugly name." He dropped the shake he offered, and sat down. "Well authenticate Mr. Lorentino."
"Its genuine." He smiled.
"Fantastic, well then Mr. Shobogon would you like your payment now?"
"Of course, I want my cut." I should mention Winslow was dressed in a suit and didn't have any visible weaponry, I say visible, because at the mention of cut a blade extended from his sleeve and sliced through Shobogon's neck, Winslow angled Shobogon's death so as to spill his blood into the vase. And so ended Shobogon, a weird man who made a deal with people he probably shouldn't have.
"Did he offer you a cut Mr. Lorentino?" Winslow laughed and the blade recessed up his sleeve. Men were suddenly in the room that had not been their previously and I was escorted past the corpse of Shobogon outside and into a large car with Winslow. Shobogon was left behind. I did at least retrieve my luggage, because after losing some recently (due to a completely unrelated fire...) I wasn't going to leave that behind. And so my day got a little worse, because it always does.
We had caught a paid servant car from the airfield and the gruff drive offered some small talk as he dangerously drove us around the streets of a city whose name I either didn't catch or didn't pay attention to (shocking I'm usually so good about the details). We arrived at a warehouse in area full of them, I was about to ask Shobogon if he had the right address when he paid the hired driver and the guy drove off. Apparently we were at our destination whether I wanted us to be there or not. Inside the warehouse was mostly empty, just a table with three chairs, one of them occupied. I did feel out of sorts, I still had my stupid luggage with me since we had left the airfield without checking in at all!
"Gentleman come in." The voice was loud and seemed to fill the warehouse despite it being a fairly large, if empty, building. Shobogon ran to his seat and left the vase sitting on the table. I put my luggage at the front of the warehouse and took my time coming to the table, because I like people to wait for me.
"Mr. Winslow, sorry we're late." I wasn't aware we were late, we had arrived as soon as possible, but I guess Shobogon felt we were late.
"None sense you aren't late, we didn't set a time for this meeting other than today, who's your friend he looks a bit scrawny for a body guard." I have to admit I hadn't been getting my usual meals for a while, nor had I really been in the best of shape anyway, still made me sad to be thought of as not built enough to be a bodyguard.
"He's my expert."
"Ah I don't need that, but if you feel you do, feel free, greetings Mr?" He left it hanging but something in his eyes told me he already knew.
"Lorentino."
"Trezlan Lorentino?"
"Yes." I sat down with an uneasy glance, he extended his hand for a greeting, but as a necromancer I try and avoid physical contact for a variety of reasons, I politely declined.
"You must be a fourth or fifth with that name for as long as my group has heard it on lips."
"The sixth actually." It was a lie I used to cover up the necromancy, claim to be a descendant of myself, no one really buys it, but much like a lot of polite fictions, it makes things less awkward than the truth.
"I've always found it strange your family stick with Trezlan, such an ugly name." He dropped the shake he offered, and sat down. "Well authenticate Mr. Lorentino."
"Its genuine." He smiled.
"Fantastic, well then Mr. Shobogon would you like your payment now?"
"Of course, I want my cut." I should mention Winslow was dressed in a suit and didn't have any visible weaponry, I say visible, because at the mention of cut a blade extended from his sleeve and sliced through Shobogon's neck, Winslow angled Shobogon's death so as to spill his blood into the vase. And so ended Shobogon, a weird man who made a deal with people he probably shouldn't have.
"Did he offer you a cut Mr. Lorentino?" Winslow laughed and the blade recessed up his sleeve. Men were suddenly in the room that had not been their previously and I was escorted past the corpse of Shobogon outside and into a large car with Winslow. Shobogon was left behind. I did at least retrieve my luggage, because after losing some recently (due to a completely unrelated fire...) I wasn't going to leave that behind. And so my day got a little worse, because it always does.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Have I Mentioned I hate Air Travel?
"On edge?" Shobogon himself looked calm, calmer than I'd seen him, the plant on his head was at half mast and seemingly perfectly fine with flying through the air in a bag of explosive gas. We were seated near a window because the universe hates me. The flight was going to be the better part of a day I was informed, and so stuck in a bomb for a full day you could say I was on edge.
"I'm not a huge fan of flying."
"Why is that?"
"Its not natural." Shobogon laughed, it was a nervous little chittering thing.
"The world is not natural, take you clothes nothing in the world produces your clothes, they are a weave of several fabrics, some grown, some harvested, all put together by machines and workers who would not exist in the natural world, but you don't say your clothing is unnatural." He had a point, which was weird because I didn't think of Shobogon as a thinking man, I'll admit I judge people rather rudely if you haven't noticed.
"Well on top of it not being natural, the last time I was in one, it exploded." The person behind me gasped and then moved seats, which was stupid, its not like I caused it to explode you jerk!
"That is a more reasonable reason for not wanting to fly, may I ask why it exploded?"
"We were flying over a warzone."
"You lead an entirely more exciting life than I do Mr. Lorentino." I sat back in my seat and shut my eyes.
"Tell me about it." I tried to make it the end of the conversation but Shobogon kept freaking talking. Like about everything, it made the flight atrocious even worse than the flight would have been anyway. And the worst part I was still stuck with Shobogon on a long car ride. Because I make bad choices in life.
"I'm not a huge fan of flying."
"Why is that?"
"Its not natural." Shobogon laughed, it was a nervous little chittering thing.
"The world is not natural, take you clothes nothing in the world produces your clothes, they are a weave of several fabrics, some grown, some harvested, all put together by machines and workers who would not exist in the natural world, but you don't say your clothing is unnatural." He had a point, which was weird because I didn't think of Shobogon as a thinking man, I'll admit I judge people rather rudely if you haven't noticed.
"Well on top of it not being natural, the last time I was in one, it exploded." The person behind me gasped and then moved seats, which was stupid, its not like I caused it to explode you jerk!
"That is a more reasonable reason for not wanting to fly, may I ask why it exploded?"
"We were flying over a warzone."
"You lead an entirely more exciting life than I do Mr. Lorentino." I sat back in my seat and shut my eyes.
"Tell me about it." I tried to make it the end of the conversation but Shobogon kept freaking talking. Like about everything, it made the flight atrocious even worse than the flight would have been anyway. And the worst part I was still stuck with Shobogon on a long car ride. Because I make bad choices in life.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Completely Unremarkable, Only Old
The real vase Shobogon wanted me to authenticate was similar to the fake; except this one had a magical aura to it, not that it itself was magical, just that there was an aura of having magic been done near it or to it. Other than that there wasn't any kind of really interesting feature to it. Construction was kiln fired, but the materials were common, the painting on the outside of some kind of ancient ritual were poorly done and not very informative, and the color was ugly (a light shade of purple). To be honest other than being old I couldn't tell why anyone would want the stupid thing, sure there was the linger magic, but again it didn't make the vase magical, just gave it some lingering character. I'd be hard pressed to sell the stupid thing to even the dumbest of collectors, but Shobogon was more than pleased with my analysis (I edited out the parts that were subjective, because I'm not an idiot).
"So its completely genuine."
"As far as I can tell, I couldn't tell you exactly which group it descended from, the markings suggest at least two, but without language inscribed I can't narrow it down." How do you know all this Trezlan? You ask. Because of my former master, most of my knowledge of ancient anything comes from her, though I admit tapping into her memories is like reading a book full of horrible things. Like for instance the two groups this vase was associated with? Yeah she did horrific things to one to get something from the other, what can I say her memories are a treasure trove of regrets.
"That will do Mr. Lorentino, are you busy?" It seemed a strange question since I had pursued Shobogon from my office without a line outside, but Shobogon wasn't exactly Mr. Social skills.
"Well I do have a lot of pokers in the fire, but if you're willing to offer a retainer I can cool those down." I did not have any pokers in any fire, as if that wasn't bleedingly obvious.
"Done and done, we must hurry there is a flight to catch, pack your things, bring some weapons, meet me at the airfield by no later than five!" He shooed me out of the cluttered space I was in and I went back to my office to pack some things. I brought a pistol, some spare magazines, my swords, and a humorous novel I'd started reading (yes I read, yes people write books in my time). The novel would turn out to be the most important thing I brought, how novel right?
"So its completely genuine."
"As far as I can tell, I couldn't tell you exactly which group it descended from, the markings suggest at least two, but without language inscribed I can't narrow it down." How do you know all this Trezlan? You ask. Because of my former master, most of my knowledge of ancient anything comes from her, though I admit tapping into her memories is like reading a book full of horrible things. Like for instance the two groups this vase was associated with? Yeah she did horrific things to one to get something from the other, what can I say her memories are a treasure trove of regrets.
"That will do Mr. Lorentino, are you busy?" It seemed a strange question since I had pursued Shobogon from my office without a line outside, but Shobogon wasn't exactly Mr. Social skills.
"Well I do have a lot of pokers in the fire, but if you're willing to offer a retainer I can cool those down." I did not have any pokers in any fire, as if that wasn't bleedingly obvious.
"Done and done, we must hurry there is a flight to catch, pack your things, bring some weapons, meet me at the airfield by no later than five!" He shooed me out of the cluttered space I was in and I went back to my office to pack some things. I brought a pistol, some spare magazines, my swords, and a humorous novel I'd started reading (yes I read, yes people write books in my time). The novel would turn out to be the most important thing I brought, how novel right?
Monday, June 23, 2014
Optimism This Is Not
In a general sense the way to get me most interested in something is to tell me its none of my business. There is something inside me that says anytime someone tells me not to be bothered by something, I'm bothered by it. Its weird, if you ask for my help I drag my feet and kick and scream, tell me to piss off and I'm on you like stink on crap. Thankfully most people don't realize this approach works on me, so they don't use it. I had chased down Shobogon shortly outside of my office, it wasn't very hard he didn't move very fast, but still his odd ducking and darting spoke to some kind of social ailment I had not seen before.
"Mr. Lorentino I'm a buys man please do not hold me up."
"You didn't give me a chance to authenticate your little vase thingy." He had the vase wrapped in his arms and the lip of the mouth directly under his chin.
"You can't do it, I was told wrong."
"I just asked what you wanted authenticated, I can tell you where it probably came from, what its trying to emulate, and where it fails." He smiled and dropped the vase, it shattered on the sidewalk like the garbage fake it was.
"Mr. Lorentino!" His shout was a lot more exhuberant and happy, I was pleased my quick analysis of his fake piece could lighten him up.
"So you want me to check the real thing or was that an ill advised purchase."
"Well spotting a fake is easy, we'll see if how you handle the real thing, but yes yes come with me check out what I need checked out, running out of time, buyer is powerful and I need you to placate."
"Show the way." And so I went with Shobogon to his shop, and sadly for him this was the beginning of the end. I swear when people meet me their death is pretty much guaranteed, except for Hanlon, Valrym, and Morley, then again I'm sure given enough time I'll kill all of them one way or another!
"Mr. Lorentino I'm a buys man please do not hold me up."
"You didn't give me a chance to authenticate your little vase thingy." He had the vase wrapped in his arms and the lip of the mouth directly under his chin.
"You can't do it, I was told wrong."
"I just asked what you wanted authenticated, I can tell you where it probably came from, what its trying to emulate, and where it fails." He smiled and dropped the vase, it shattered on the sidewalk like the garbage fake it was.
"Mr. Lorentino!" His shout was a lot more exhuberant and happy, I was pleased my quick analysis of his fake piece could lighten him up.
"So you want me to check the real thing or was that an ill advised purchase."
"Well spotting a fake is easy, we'll see if how you handle the real thing, but yes yes come with me check out what I need checked out, running out of time, buyer is powerful and I need you to placate."
"Show the way." And so I went with Shobogon to his shop, and sadly for him this was the beginning of the end. I swear when people meet me their death is pretty much guaranteed, except for Hanlon, Valrym, and Morley, then again I'm sure given enough time I'll kill all of them one way or another!
Friday, June 20, 2014
Authentic Eccentricity
It's not all fun and games in my life I don't mind telling you. Sure I seem like I'm running from one horrible thing to the next, but thats because I'm speeding things up! There are days and days of doing nothing that is particularly boring (eat, go to the bathroom, sleep, accuse people of working for nefarious others). Especially in modern times. Like in the past there would be a good monster attack or witch burning or something interesting that happened. But now? Nothing. I practically have to invent horrible things to fix them! I swear the world moved forward and now its really boring (despite all the things I have chronicled here!) I mean I specifically created an agency to deal with the arcane, and no one seeks me out! Sure I accidentally burned down a town and they wanted to bill me for that (which is preposterous if they saw the contract I didn't have them sign, they'd have seen its completely not my fault!) So outside of dodging legal issues and eating you weren't missing out in much in the months since I burned down a town. I mean sure there were some discussions about what does and does not equate what death is (this was between me and a mouse that I trapped in my office, the mouse did have an interesting opinion that I gave it, but ultimately I didn't like its final argument of biting my hand and running off).
So it was nice when a real person arrived in my office. He was wearing a crumpled suit and smelled like the local food cart around the corner (and he was wearing part of his lunch on his shirt) not over fat, not especially thin, the only thing remarkable about him was the loose strands of hair on top of his head (he had very little hair but what was there was like a loose weed sitting on top of his skull it was comical, and when he got angry it seemingly responded to his anger). He came in with a vase and shoved it roughly on to my desk, thankfully there was nothing on my desk to disturb, but it was still rude. What if there had been something there? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
"Mr. Lorentino!" He started at a shout and I have to admit it seemed a bit weird, I have a fairly small office and I'm not hard of hearing.
"Mr?"
"Shobogon!"
"Mr. Shobogon, how can I help you?" I looked at the vase, it was clearly why he came, but I couldn't figure out why. Looked normal to me, no magical aura, or element of awful.
"I was told and I don't think its true, but I was told, and like I said I don't believe it was true and I told that person you couldn't possibly help me, but they directed you to me and I told them you couldn't do it but now that I'm here I might as well ask." If that reads confusing imagine what it was like being shouted at you.
"What?"
"Exactly, I knew you couldn't help."
"Its not that I can't help you, though I can't commit to helping you until I know exactly what it is you want my help with." He looked at me angrily and the weed on top of his head danced and I almost let out a loud laugh.
"This vase can you authenticate it?"
"Authenticate it for what?"
"I knew you couldn't help!" And with that Shobogon scooped up his vase and left my office. I was so mystified I almost just let him walk away, but I was also intrigued (and bored, and the mouse had bit me) so I gathered up my stuff (jacket, sword, wallet) and chased off after him. What can I say I'm a sucker for a mystery.
So it was nice when a real person arrived in my office. He was wearing a crumpled suit and smelled like the local food cart around the corner (and he was wearing part of his lunch on his shirt) not over fat, not especially thin, the only thing remarkable about him was the loose strands of hair on top of his head (he had very little hair but what was there was like a loose weed sitting on top of his skull it was comical, and when he got angry it seemingly responded to his anger). He came in with a vase and shoved it roughly on to my desk, thankfully there was nothing on my desk to disturb, but it was still rude. What if there had been something there? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
"Mr. Lorentino!" He started at a shout and I have to admit it seemed a bit weird, I have a fairly small office and I'm not hard of hearing.
"Mr?"
"Shobogon!"
"Mr. Shobogon, how can I help you?" I looked at the vase, it was clearly why he came, but I couldn't figure out why. Looked normal to me, no magical aura, or element of awful.
"I was told and I don't think its true, but I was told, and like I said I don't believe it was true and I told that person you couldn't possibly help me, but they directed you to me and I told them you couldn't do it but now that I'm here I might as well ask." If that reads confusing imagine what it was like being shouted at you.
"What?"
"Exactly, I knew you couldn't help."
"Its not that I can't help you, though I can't commit to helping you until I know exactly what it is you want my help with." He looked at me angrily and the weed on top of his head danced and I almost let out a loud laugh.
"This vase can you authenticate it?"
"Authenticate it for what?"
"I knew you couldn't help!" And with that Shobogon scooped up his vase and left my office. I was so mystified I almost just let him walk away, but I was also intrigued (and bored, and the mouse had bit me) so I gathered up my stuff (jacket, sword, wallet) and chased off after him. What can I say I'm a sucker for a mystery.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Just Drive Please
"So it was an old lady who wanted to keep power over dead grand kids, fascinating." I couldn't help my natural urge to tell a story, so I told Hanlon everything that had happened. Which seemed to be what he wanted out of me anyway.
"More or less, I don't think she understood what she was doing was causing the problems all over town, so evil, but completely oblivious to the result of her actions." I felt silly sitting in the back of an empty truck passing information to Hanlon who wasn't even driving. I mean why couldn't I sit up front? Apparently I'm not good enough.
"Or she was so evil to ignore the consequences of her actions and just forge ahead because what she wanted was power, perhaps a lesson for you there Trezlan." The thought had crossed my mind, and by crossed my mind I mean I ignored the idea entirely.
"Can you just drive I don't want to dwell on this." I didn't and he let it go, and by let it go he pestered me for the next eight freaking hours. I've chosen to lose that dialogue if only because it was botheresome to me and I hate dwelling on the past (says the man specifically dwelling on the past, I'm anything if not a hypocrite). All the same I arrived back in town with Hanlon, he dropped me off with some comment about thinking about the future and then drove off. Only thing I was thinking of was how much of a dick Hanlon was and still is!
"More or less, I don't think she understood what she was doing was causing the problems all over town, so evil, but completely oblivious to the result of her actions." I felt silly sitting in the back of an empty truck passing information to Hanlon who wasn't even driving. I mean why couldn't I sit up front? Apparently I'm not good enough.
"Or she was so evil to ignore the consequences of her actions and just forge ahead because what she wanted was power, perhaps a lesson for you there Trezlan." The thought had crossed my mind, and by crossed my mind I mean I ignored the idea entirely.
"Can you just drive I don't want to dwell on this." I didn't and he let it go, and by let it go he pestered me for the next eight freaking hours. I've chosen to lose that dialogue if only because it was botheresome to me and I hate dwelling on the past (says the man specifically dwelling on the past, I'm anything if not a hypocrite). All the same I arrived back in town with Hanlon, he dropped me off with some comment about thinking about the future and then drove off. Only thing I was thinking of was how much of a dick Hanlon was and still is!
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
The Friendliest None Friend I Have
As the town burned behind me I was walking down the road. I admit it probably didn't look necessarily great walking away from a blaze, but you know I'm not one for optics. There weren't many cars coming, but I was assured by one of the ghosts during my brief stay in town it had been the off season. I don't even know why I was walking, or what I hoped to accomplish, hometown was miles away, the train station I'd ridden to get there was on fire and trains weren't exactly regular to begin with, and I was wearing terrible traveling shoes, basically I was doing the most Lorentino thing possible. So it came as a bit of a surprise when a huge convoy of soldiers came driving up, I have to admit it was the last thing I expected, even more so to Hanlon front and center in the lead truck.
"Ahoy Trezlan you're back up is here!" I want to take a moment here to say no one uses ahoy as a greeting anymore, Hanlon is a man of complete mystery, but apparently he likes terms that no one uses.
"I don't recall asking for any help."
"Which makes my help all the more needed." I turned around and could see the fire almost spreading.
"Unless you brought water I don't think you'll do much back there Hanlon." He smiled, it was rather creepy, again his facial expressions never betray regular emotion, they are always at best a mimic of the real thing. So when he smiles its like a particularly human looking animal smiling without knowing what smiling actually is.
"No I don't believe we brought any water, guess I'll just turn around, you need a ride home Trezlan?" I thought for a moment it would be better to say no, but seeing as I had no supplies, minimal money, and bad shoes decided I did indeed need a ride, I loaded up into the back of Hanlon's truck, which I swore had people in it but when I got in there, there was no one. There wasn't even supplies. It was just a covered truck with no cargo, I had to wonder what back up he hoped to bring, indeed as the truck turned around the other trucks I swear I saw also just vanished. I wrote it off as fumes from the fire, but I tell you its more than a little alarming that Hanlon had an army and then he didn't, he's done this trick before, but I hoped in modern times with it being harder to just have an army and not have an army Hanlon would stop doing this, my hopes of course were not to be realized!
Anyway I sat in the back of an empty truck for a really awkward ride home, all things considered I should have walked.
"Ahoy Trezlan you're back up is here!" I want to take a moment here to say no one uses ahoy as a greeting anymore, Hanlon is a man of complete mystery, but apparently he likes terms that no one uses.
"I don't recall asking for any help."
"Which makes my help all the more needed." I turned around and could see the fire almost spreading.
"Unless you brought water I don't think you'll do much back there Hanlon." He smiled, it was rather creepy, again his facial expressions never betray regular emotion, they are always at best a mimic of the real thing. So when he smiles its like a particularly human looking animal smiling without knowing what smiling actually is.
"No I don't believe we brought any water, guess I'll just turn around, you need a ride home Trezlan?" I thought for a moment it would be better to say no, but seeing as I had no supplies, minimal money, and bad shoes decided I did indeed need a ride, I loaded up into the back of Hanlon's truck, which I swore had people in it but when I got in there, there was no one. There wasn't even supplies. It was just a covered truck with no cargo, I had to wonder what back up he hoped to bring, indeed as the truck turned around the other trucks I swear I saw also just vanished. I wrote it off as fumes from the fire, but I tell you its more than a little alarming that Hanlon had an army and then he didn't, he's done this trick before, but I hoped in modern times with it being harder to just have an army and not have an army Hanlon would stop doing this, my hopes of course were not to be realized!
Anyway I sat in the back of an empty truck for a really awkward ride home, all things considered I should have walked.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Vengeance Will Not Be Anyones
Celebrating ones victory can lead to a lot of negative consequences. One of those of course is if you weren't actually victorious but just thought you were and you're open to a very easy sneak attack. Which is kind of what happened to me, not that I was attacked, but it would have been really easy to do while I was standing there savoring the moment (again while the town burned down, so not even savoring something I should have been wait maybe I shouldn't admit this so readily...) Anyway moving this story along (as much as I ever do, so glacial pace!) I felt a small tap at my back and was shocked to turn around and see three small ghost children. Ghosts should be glad you can't simply kill them with bullets because I'll admit had my pistol not been empty I would have killed these ghosts again, or perhaps for the first time? I'm lost... MOVING ON!
"Sir." The way she said sir made my heart ache, it was hard seeing dead children, but doubly so when they address you in the proper form.
"Yes?" It was plainly obvious as to why the old lady had stopped people from moving on when I saw the children. They were probably her grand children and died probably accidentally, and so she didn't want to let go of them and thus caused all the problems the town was facing.
"Thank you sir, it was time for us to move on." I felt relieved they at least accepted they were dead, but sad all the same.
"You're welcome, I'm sorry I had to kill her to let it happen." The children looked on with a sneer their faces distorted at the mention of her.
"We're not sorry! She killed us and then couldn't let us move on, instead she took her torture to the next step, if there was a way you could have made her suffer more we'd have appreciated it." Ok at this point I was considerably less sorry about what had happened, but it at least explained how the old lady was so powerful yet so clumsy. She had sacrificed children for the power.
"Well then you're welcome again."
"Do you know what will happen to us now?" The three of them were shuffling their feet, and I shrugged my shoulders.
"I have no idea, I've seen the afterlife a couple times, please don't ask, but for children who died like you did, not a clue." It was the truth, I don't sugar coat things.
"Well thanks again mister." They started walking and then disappeared in front of me, all around town ghosts were doing the same thing. People might have noticed more had the town not been on fire, but you know these kind of things happen! All the same I retrieved my sword (using some cloth because it was still hot from the lightning strike), and made my way out of town, didn't even ask for payment or try and retrieve my luggage (mostly because my hotel was on fire and I packed light). On the way out of town I ran into someone who was kind of surprising considering the town. I'll get into that later of course because I'm nice like that!
"Sir." The way she said sir made my heart ache, it was hard seeing dead children, but doubly so when they address you in the proper form.
"Yes?" It was plainly obvious as to why the old lady had stopped people from moving on when I saw the children. They were probably her grand children and died probably accidentally, and so she didn't want to let go of them and thus caused all the problems the town was facing.
"Thank you sir, it was time for us to move on." I felt relieved they at least accepted they were dead, but sad all the same.
"You're welcome, I'm sorry I had to kill her to let it happen." The children looked on with a sneer their faces distorted at the mention of her.
"We're not sorry! She killed us and then couldn't let us move on, instead she took her torture to the next step, if there was a way you could have made her suffer more we'd have appreciated it." Ok at this point I was considerably less sorry about what had happened, but it at least explained how the old lady was so powerful yet so clumsy. She had sacrificed children for the power.
"Well then you're welcome again."
"Do you know what will happen to us now?" The three of them were shuffling their feet, and I shrugged my shoulders.
"I have no idea, I've seen the afterlife a couple times, please don't ask, but for children who died like you did, not a clue." It was the truth, I don't sugar coat things.
"Well thanks again mister." They started walking and then disappeared in front of me, all around town ghosts were doing the same thing. People might have noticed more had the town not been on fire, but you know these kind of things happen! All the same I retrieved my sword (using some cloth because it was still hot from the lightning strike), and made my way out of town, didn't even ask for payment or try and retrieve my luggage (mostly because my hotel was on fire and I packed light). On the way out of town I ran into someone who was kind of surprising considering the town. I'll get into that later of course because I'm nice like that!
Monday, June 16, 2014
Storm of the Current Day
Winds whipped by my face, rain was pelting me head on and close by lightning was hitting (which seemed dangerous, and it was...) The old lady had called the storm, but like everything else it was just raw power without direction. Like lightning itself. I am far more disciplined and my first move was of course to try and turn her into a charred old lady (my go to for old ladies, look you get stuck behind one at the local corner store and you too will wish you could burn them to death!), but her power was intense and she just shrugged off my fire, sure it hit a nearby house and started a blaze that despite the storm would burn down half the town (no casualties, but still kind of a big whoops on my part). Her follow up outside of the storm was to attempt to reflect my power back at me, she apparently didn't know that reflecting someone who uses an element back at them futile, I mean it was my power she didn't really change it, just threw it back. So I parried it aside and that burned down the other part of town (you can probably see why I wasn't welcomed back after I solved their issue!)
"Your power is weak!" I could hardly hear her over the wind, but I was still insulted.
"Your storm sucks." I'll admit I didn't exactly have the most witty rejoinder. As if in response the storm got worse, the winds blew harder which whipped the burgeoning fires around more (so it wasn't entirely my fault the town burnt down, just mostly). A lightning strike almost hit me and the old lady cackled. She was an idiot though and I was about to prove to her why.
You see most magical people no matter how strong they are carry traditional weapons specifically because sometimes your magic just sucks for the problem (aside from my magic which is awesome at all times). Either through force of power or inability to use it properly. A well placed bullet, knife, sword or even club is always useful in a pinch, because dead is dead and you don't get points for using one method over another! So I took out my pistol and opened fire at her while charging forward. As I expected she used magic to stop the bullets, and as I expected she ignored me getting close to her was what I was really after. I pistol whipped her (which she did not block with magic, I was far too close to use at that range) and then impaled her with my sword (because never leave a job half done). The lightning did the rest, I lept out of the way and the strike she probably intended for me followed my sword right into her.I'd have felt bad, but that old lady was just about to fry me so I was a little angry and righteous (plus the lightning trick with my sword has always been a personal favorite, frying people with lighnting is great, even if it meals I have to releather the hilt, yes thats a thing). I left the smoking corpse there for a moment, the storm was already clearing, but the wind was still blowing pretty hard. I could see that the town was pretty much boned from the flames, but at that moment I didn't care, I took a good whif of roasted old lady and smelled the scent of victory.
I admit thinking back on it, kind of psycho to take that kind of satisfaction in doing something I had no idea if it would be successful.
"Your power is weak!" I could hardly hear her over the wind, but I was still insulted.
"Your storm sucks." I'll admit I didn't exactly have the most witty rejoinder. As if in response the storm got worse, the winds blew harder which whipped the burgeoning fires around more (so it wasn't entirely my fault the town burnt down, just mostly). A lightning strike almost hit me and the old lady cackled. She was an idiot though and I was about to prove to her why.
You see most magical people no matter how strong they are carry traditional weapons specifically because sometimes your magic just sucks for the problem (aside from my magic which is awesome at all times). Either through force of power or inability to use it properly. A well placed bullet, knife, sword or even club is always useful in a pinch, because dead is dead and you don't get points for using one method over another! So I took out my pistol and opened fire at her while charging forward. As I expected she used magic to stop the bullets, and as I expected she ignored me getting close to her was what I was really after. I pistol whipped her (which she did not block with magic, I was far too close to use at that range) and then impaled her with my sword (because never leave a job half done). The lightning did the rest, I lept out of the way and the strike she probably intended for me followed my sword right into her.I'd have felt bad, but that old lady was just about to fry me so I was a little angry and righteous (plus the lightning trick with my sword has always been a personal favorite, frying people with lighnting is great, even if it meals I have to releather the hilt, yes thats a thing). I left the smoking corpse there for a moment, the storm was already clearing, but the wind was still blowing pretty hard. I could see that the town was pretty much boned from the flames, but at that moment I didn't care, I took a good whif of roasted old lady and smelled the scent of victory.
I admit thinking back on it, kind of psycho to take that kind of satisfaction in doing something I had no idea if it would be successful.
Friday, June 13, 2014
A Child's Understanding Of Consequences
Walking through an empty town has become a thing for me as of late. Though with this one I could hear people just out of sight, so at least I knew that the girl had not banished everyone to some forgotten dimension. But it was still unsettling, and I want to say this became a trap, so I wasn't wrong in that it was a trap, it just took a bit for a trap to be put down, and now that it is I was totally in it. Which makes me technically correct, the best kind.
So I walked through the town, the address from the ghost tender in hand and awaited the god like powerful girl to show up and threaten to annihilate me. She didn't of course. She kept the streets clear, and no one in my way to say I had a sense of foreboding approaching that little cottage with the white picket fence would be an understatement on par with "And I have lived a little bit longer than most." I got to the front door and I didn't know what to do. Do you knock? Kick it in? Burn the house down? I was in unknown territory. So it was nice of her to open the door for me.
"Mr. Lorentino I presume." She was old, well relatively, she looked old. I expected a young girl, only someone who doesn't understand how death and dying would work could do something so foolish. But no she had grey hair and wrinkles, vastly overweight, so much so she walked with a cane.
"I don't know if you want me to come inside for this or should we do it outside." And by it I mean kill her. I didn't even know if it would work, but murder is my go to solution next to ignorance.
"And by it you mean?" Her voice cracked as old peoples voices generally do. It was kind of weird for me, then again she was completely caught off guard but what I planned on doing.
"Kill each other." I hate having to say it directly, just in case someone from actual authority is listening.
"Why would we need to do that? I just need for you to leave my town and me in peace."
"Look lady, I understand you don't want to lose someone, I've been there several times, but fighting against that is madness, you're trying to empty water from a river, you can't do it."
"You can dam the river!" She cried out to me and thunder rolled in the background, I got the sense things just got a lot worse.
"For a time sure, but eventually that dam will break, nothing lasts forever, certainly not you." I found myself clenching my jaw and I could feel my power rising up. I knew this was going to get nasty.
"Or you Lorentino, I see it in you you know, the evil that you do to keep yourself alive, what you are doing is worse than what I do, at least I let the people live as they did, you take their life, everything that they are, and add it to the miserable pile of shit that you are." Her voice had venom, but I could hear something else in it. Fear, she was afraid of me, and she should have been.
"Well then step outside lady, come see if you can succeed where others have not." And she did and the storm hit in full force. No that wasn't a metaphor.
So I walked through the town, the address from the ghost tender in hand and awaited the god like powerful girl to show up and threaten to annihilate me. She didn't of course. She kept the streets clear, and no one in my way to say I had a sense of foreboding approaching that little cottage with the white picket fence would be an understatement on par with "And I have lived a little bit longer than most." I got to the front door and I didn't know what to do. Do you knock? Kick it in? Burn the house down? I was in unknown territory. So it was nice of her to open the door for me.
"Mr. Lorentino I presume." She was old, well relatively, she looked old. I expected a young girl, only someone who doesn't understand how death and dying would work could do something so foolish. But no she had grey hair and wrinkles, vastly overweight, so much so she walked with a cane.
"I don't know if you want me to come inside for this or should we do it outside." And by it I mean kill her. I didn't even know if it would work, but murder is my go to solution next to ignorance.
"And by it you mean?" Her voice cracked as old peoples voices generally do. It was kind of weird for me, then again she was completely caught off guard but what I planned on doing.
"Kill each other." I hate having to say it directly, just in case someone from actual authority is listening.
"Why would we need to do that? I just need for you to leave my town and me in peace."
"Look lady, I understand you don't want to lose someone, I've been there several times, but fighting against that is madness, you're trying to empty water from a river, you can't do it."
"You can dam the river!" She cried out to me and thunder rolled in the background, I got the sense things just got a lot worse.
"For a time sure, but eventually that dam will break, nothing lasts forever, certainly not you." I found myself clenching my jaw and I could feel my power rising up. I knew this was going to get nasty.
"Or you Lorentino, I see it in you you know, the evil that you do to keep yourself alive, what you are doing is worse than what I do, at least I let the people live as they did, you take their life, everything that they are, and add it to the miserable pile of shit that you are." Her voice had venom, but I could hear something else in it. Fear, she was afraid of me, and she should have been.
"Well then step outside lady, come see if you can succeed where others have not." And she did and the storm hit in full force. No that wasn't a metaphor.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
And Oh They Say, Take Me Away
"I can assume having lived as long as you have Mr. Lorentino you've lost a few people along the way." The ghost had continued after sadness.
"Yes that's a fair assumption." I get through it by not thinking about it, just like nature intended. There are some nights thought, some cold ugly nights where I can't sleep and all the imaginary ghosts of dead friends come to haunt me (never Nidget, because as I've said many times, I'm pleased he is dead).
"I'm sure also at some point you wished they weren't dead, though lacking the power to make that not happen you couldn't actually prevent them from moving on." I didn't like where this was going, I suddenly felt very unprepared for the real problem afflicting the tourist town with the ghosts who don't leave.
"Oh gods no, do not tell me something is powerful enough here to keep you here."
"She is."
"I said don't tell me that!" Have I mentioned I like to ignore problems in the past? Because I do, yes I said I like to solve them, and this is also true, but I like to solve them when they are solveable, not someone who can prevent the dead from moving on! That's terrifying! I say this as someone who has killed gods.
"You have to do something, because the longer we are here the more damage it is causing, other ghosts who have been dead longer are returning, except they are frayed Mr. Lorentino, where they went it was not kind and they do not have their minds as we do, if this keeps happening I feel ghosts all over the world will emerge and no one will be alive too much longer than that." I sighed and the ghost slammed its fist on the bar. "YOU MUST DO SOMETHING!"
"Ok ok I'll do something, just tell me where this child with god like powers is and I'll see what I can do." The ghost produced an address and I left the bar, when I got outside no one was around. The entire town which had been alive with ghosts and people just a moment ago was dead. I went to go back into the bar (because when confronted with something horrible best to just hide for a moment, but the door would not open). So on top of the girl being able to prevent people from moving on, she could also control the town, which just made me feel so much better about my prospects let me tell you!
"Yes that's a fair assumption." I get through it by not thinking about it, just like nature intended. There are some nights thought, some cold ugly nights where I can't sleep and all the imaginary ghosts of dead friends come to haunt me (never Nidget, because as I've said many times, I'm pleased he is dead).
"I'm sure also at some point you wished they weren't dead, though lacking the power to make that not happen you couldn't actually prevent them from moving on." I didn't like where this was going, I suddenly felt very unprepared for the real problem afflicting the tourist town with the ghosts who don't leave.
"Oh gods no, do not tell me something is powerful enough here to keep you here."
"She is."
"I said don't tell me that!" Have I mentioned I like to ignore problems in the past? Because I do, yes I said I like to solve them, and this is also true, but I like to solve them when they are solveable, not someone who can prevent the dead from moving on! That's terrifying! I say this as someone who has killed gods.
"You have to do something, because the longer we are here the more damage it is causing, other ghosts who have been dead longer are returning, except they are frayed Mr. Lorentino, where they went it was not kind and they do not have their minds as we do, if this keeps happening I feel ghosts all over the world will emerge and no one will be alive too much longer than that." I sighed and the ghost slammed its fist on the bar. "YOU MUST DO SOMETHING!"
"Ok ok I'll do something, just tell me where this child with god like powers is and I'll see what I can do." The ghost produced an address and I left the bar, when I got outside no one was around. The entire town which had been alive with ghosts and people just a moment ago was dead. I went to go back into the bar (because when confronted with something horrible best to just hide for a moment, but the door would not open). So on top of the girl being able to prevent people from moving on, she could also control the town, which just made me feel so much better about my prospects let me tell you!
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Sometimes You Can't Let Go
I was drowning my sorrows in a mug of ale. I had failed to figure out the ghost situation, and the ghost bartender was kind enough to give me a drink "on the house" as it looked like I'd been pretty run down. And I was. I hate not being able to figure things out, even more so when I'm paid to do exactly that (I hate letting people down, even if it seems I never say that I care, I do care, and letting people down lets me down as a person). The ale was warm and weak, making it taste more like dirty water than a good beer (which is pretty much what I expected from a tourist trap, I also kind of blamed the ghost tender, because well he was a ghost and after failing to figure out what was going on I was blaming them for everything). The bar was otherwise empty, though I had been assured it was because it was nine in the morning and not because no one came to the bar.
"Frustrated?" It was the first thing he said to me after I'd spilled my whole life to him (well the abridged version).
"You have no idea."
"Actually I do, how would you like to have keep doing what you did in life even when you're dead." It was the first time one of the ghosts had actually reacted about being a ghost.
"Wait are you admitting you know you're dead?"
"We all know we are dead Mr. Lorentino, we all know why you are here, I'm just one of the few people who don't necessarily want to remain here and I'm tired, so very tired of keeping up the lie." If a ghost could express weary or any emotion he was doing his best here.
"Wait you all know you're dead?" I admit I'm a bit behind when dealing with most people.
"Yes and we aren't allowed to leave, or even act like we are ghosts."
"What's keeping you here?"
"Sadness." You know normally a one word answer is never enough, but this one time, this one time it was. Of course there was more to this, but I'll get into that next entry, but know this, sadness is a preview for the horrible that is coming.
"Frustrated?" It was the first thing he said to me after I'd spilled my whole life to him (well the abridged version).
"You have no idea."
"Actually I do, how would you like to have keep doing what you did in life even when you're dead." It was the first time one of the ghosts had actually reacted about being a ghost.
"Wait are you admitting you know you're dead?"
"We all know we are dead Mr. Lorentino, we all know why you are here, I'm just one of the few people who don't necessarily want to remain here and I'm tired, so very tired of keeping up the lie." If a ghost could express weary or any emotion he was doing his best here.
"Wait you all know you're dead?" I admit I'm a bit behind when dealing with most people.
"Yes and we aren't allowed to leave, or even act like we are ghosts."
"What's keeping you here?"
"Sadness." You know normally a one word answer is never enough, but this one time, this one time it was. Of course there was more to this, but I'll get into that next entry, but know this, sadness is a preview for the horrible that is coming.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Ghosting
There are a few things that are difficult to process. One of them is the will of the gods, they are completely insane in most ways at all times (even the fire god seemingly does things for no reason whatsoever), the second is the afterlife. Like I've been to the afterlife (well the bad/good place you go if you worship the fire god, or are killed by someone who does, you know never really thought about that very hard, not going to start), but I still don't understand what happens when you die other than you stop being alive. So trying to figure out why half an entire town is populated by ghosts still doing their thing was beyond me.
I observed them, talked with them, and tried to ask them why they were still here. The saddest part was all of them claimed they weren't dead and I was being ridiculous even when I could literally put my hand through them, they wondered what magic trick I was using. The people I talked to were partially terrified. One of them even admitted he'd actually killed his brother and it was more than a little strange that not only was his brother still around, but completely not aware that he had in fact killed him.
My first thought was to try a couple rituals I had kicking around in my head (thanks to years of necromancing horrible people I have a lot of really awful knowledge on things I wish I didn't), but most of them were untested, dangerous and probably wouldn't even work (though I had one that involved the sacrifice of a goat and a virgin male at the same time I was pretty sure would cure erectile problems, obviously nothing about ghosts and I don't need it at all, but there are times I'm really tempted to try it... FOR SCIENCE!). I didn't through a strength of will and basically because I thought they wouldn't shit except make things worse (another day blood rituals of dubious value!) Instead I returned to my book reading roots and tried to learn everything I could about the town, I hit up their archives, library, news paper office, even went to other towns in the area to check things out. And I found absolutely nothing.
I mean I found a lot about boring completely stupid things sure. But never before in the history of the town was there some ghost reawakening. So I was left with a problem I didn't know how it started and ghosts who didn't know they were a problem to begin with. To say I was upset at this turn of events was to ignore everything that makes me up as a person. Thankfully a ghost finally let me in on what had happened, unthankfully it only made everything a million times worse.
I observed them, talked with them, and tried to ask them why they were still here. The saddest part was all of them claimed they weren't dead and I was being ridiculous even when I could literally put my hand through them, they wondered what magic trick I was using. The people I talked to were partially terrified. One of them even admitted he'd actually killed his brother and it was more than a little strange that not only was his brother still around, but completely not aware that he had in fact killed him.
My first thought was to try a couple rituals I had kicking around in my head (thanks to years of necromancing horrible people I have a lot of really awful knowledge on things I wish I didn't), but most of them were untested, dangerous and probably wouldn't even work (though I had one that involved the sacrifice of a goat and a virgin male at the same time I was pretty sure would cure erectile problems, obviously nothing about ghosts and I don't need it at all, but there are times I'm really tempted to try it... FOR SCIENCE!). I didn't through a strength of will and basically because I thought they wouldn't shit except make things worse (another day blood rituals of dubious value!) Instead I returned to my book reading roots and tried to learn everything I could about the town, I hit up their archives, library, news paper office, even went to other towns in the area to check things out. And I found absolutely nothing.
I mean I found a lot about boring completely stupid things sure. But never before in the history of the town was there some ghost reawakening. So I was left with a problem I didn't know how it started and ghosts who didn't know they were a problem to begin with. To say I was upset at this turn of events was to ignore everything that makes me up as a person. Thankfully a ghost finally let me in on what had happened, unthankfully it only made everything a million times worse.
Monday, June 9, 2014
I Don't See Any Ghosts
"You'll have to repeat that." To say I was incredulous to the belief a town could be harassed by ghosts would be an understatement.
"We have a ghost problem Mr. Lorentino." Boggs was trying to be super serious, but I almost laughed. I mean ghosts can be obnoxious, at times they can even be a little dangerous, but a problem? Please, problems are like me, or ravenous rats that eat only the flesh off the balls of your feet (the tastiest of flesh), ghosts are never a real problem (ignoring in the past when they have been a real problem of course).
"I don't see any ghosts, haven't sensed any either." I admit I wasn't exactly looking for them though, because I'm obtuse like that.
"You didn't notice my secretary, she's not alive Mr. Lorentino!" Ok here's a hypothetical if the guy you hired to solve your ghost problem did not notice that well over half your town was actually ghosts, would you keep that man employed? No? Well than you are a better Mayor, than Mayor Boggs. I say this as the person they hired to do this job I was clearly bad at.
"Wait, she's not alive but she's still functioning as a secretary?" I'd heard of ghosts doing strange things, still showing up for work was definitely the weirdest.
"She never leaves now! She died last year, I was in the process of looking for a new secretary when she showed up for work again! It was like she never left, had no memory of dying and think I'm kidding when I point out, she never actually leaves. Its like that all over town! No one stays dead! We had a ship captain get accidentally harpooned bringing in a large catch, even though the harpoon pierced his damn head, he was back to work the next day!" I was perplexed, I admit I had expected some crappy trap left by Morley, not some weird people don't know they are dead issue. It was one of those conundrums.
"Why is this a bad thing?"
"Because its not natural Mr. Lorentino! People should be allowed to die and move on to the afterlife, not be stuck here still doing what they did in life. I loved my secretary, but she's dead, she should rest." It was heartwarming to see the mayor so concerned with how people spent their afterlife. I mean I know of a lot of people who think of still working ghosts as the greatest thing ever.
"Was there some kind of incident that set this whole thing off?"
"If I knew that I wouldn't have called you in Mr. Lorentino!" He seemed angry (because he was) but honestly it was a valid question! I mean you might have known some weird rock slammed into a cemetary and ever since than the dead rose, or there was a blood ritual or something. Obviously none of that happened, but I didn't ask the stupidest question in the world! Anyway the Mayor rudely excused me from his office with a direction of "just fix it" and so I set out to figure out why ghosts didn't want to be dead. Truly the most thankless of tasks.
"We have a ghost problem Mr. Lorentino." Boggs was trying to be super serious, but I almost laughed. I mean ghosts can be obnoxious, at times they can even be a little dangerous, but a problem? Please, problems are like me, or ravenous rats that eat only the flesh off the balls of your feet (the tastiest of flesh), ghosts are never a real problem (ignoring in the past when they have been a real problem of course).
"I don't see any ghosts, haven't sensed any either." I admit I wasn't exactly looking for them though, because I'm obtuse like that.
"You didn't notice my secretary, she's not alive Mr. Lorentino!" Ok here's a hypothetical if the guy you hired to solve your ghost problem did not notice that well over half your town was actually ghosts, would you keep that man employed? No? Well than you are a better Mayor, than Mayor Boggs. I say this as the person they hired to do this job I was clearly bad at.
"Wait, she's not alive but she's still functioning as a secretary?" I'd heard of ghosts doing strange things, still showing up for work was definitely the weirdest.
"She never leaves now! She died last year, I was in the process of looking for a new secretary when she showed up for work again! It was like she never left, had no memory of dying and think I'm kidding when I point out, she never actually leaves. Its like that all over town! No one stays dead! We had a ship captain get accidentally harpooned bringing in a large catch, even though the harpoon pierced his damn head, he was back to work the next day!" I was perplexed, I admit I had expected some crappy trap left by Morley, not some weird people don't know they are dead issue. It was one of those conundrums.
"Why is this a bad thing?"
"Because its not natural Mr. Lorentino! People should be allowed to die and move on to the afterlife, not be stuck here still doing what they did in life. I loved my secretary, but she's dead, she should rest." It was heartwarming to see the mayor so concerned with how people spent their afterlife. I mean I know of a lot of people who think of still working ghosts as the greatest thing ever.
"Was there some kind of incident that set this whole thing off?"
"If I knew that I wouldn't have called you in Mr. Lorentino!" He seemed angry (because he was) but honestly it was a valid question! I mean you might have known some weird rock slammed into a cemetary and ever since than the dead rose, or there was a blood ritual or something. Obviously none of that happened, but I didn't ask the stupidest question in the world! Anyway the Mayor rudely excused me from his office with a direction of "just fix it" and so I set out to figure out why ghosts didn't want to be dead. Truly the most thankless of tasks.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Vacation? I'm Working Here
"Welcome to Samorito!" The clerk looked about ten, his voice was high and squeaky. The hotel itself looked fairly decent for a hotel next to the ocean which generally meant people came for the view and not the accommodations (well they used to I was still getting used to all this modern stuff everyone else just accepted). I don't know why the clerk at the hotel was welcoming me, it wasn't he first building I'd come across since getting off the train, it wasn't even the first person I'd seen in town, but here he was welcoming me in because I guess I needed it? Look I'm terrible with social stuff.
"You have my room ready for me, Lorentino, I paid for a large suite." The modern convenience of being able to call up a place a few days out and tell them you are coming is one of my favorite things about modern times, it almost makes me look past all the horrible things I hate about it. And yes I don't stay in shitty rooms, nor do I ride in coach on a train. I've got the money I enjoy myself even if I don't enjoy myself going out and doing things. If that makes any sense. The young man got a key off the wall and showed me up to the room. It was fairly large with a nice wooden desk and all the proper modern amenities (electricity, running water, even a phone!) I put my bags away, and made sure to properly secure the room (some sigils, some wards, stocking booze, the booze was the important part) and then went out to see my client.
It had been six months since I saved the world again (look stopping Morley's spy is saving the world, trust me on this!) and word of my amazingness had spread to even quaint east coast coastal towns! So much so that the mayor had called me in personally to deal with a magical situation. Ordinarily I'd figure this was a trap and the town was some horrible horror, but since I was now bonafide I knew for sure it was probably a trap and the town was some horrible horror! See I'm improving, instead of suspecting something was off, I knew something was off! But since it was a coastal town and the summer I figured hey might as well enjoy it before the wheels come off and everyone in town was shown to be a spider person (it could happen, I believe it has happened already!)
The Mayor's office was a small building near the docks, it had one polite secretary named Doris, and a room with the mayor that just had "Mayor" as a name plate. Being an elected official I guess they turned over often enough they didn't feel the need to actually put a name under the mayor's door. The Mayor was a large man named Jonesy Boggs. He just screamed small town bureaucrat from the moment I met him in his what felt way too small office, even if it did have a nice view of the docks, I could even see a light house to the left, picturesque.
"Thank the gods you could get here Mr. Lorentino, we have a problem."
"Thanks for inviting me Mr. Mayor, how can Trezlan Lorentino help you today?" I was again expecting trap, but Boggs earnest speech was very inviting, so even more certainly a trap.
"Ghosts Mr. Lorentino, we have a huge problem with Ghosts." And thus began well not a trap in the traditional sense, but you know it still could be a trap, I always suspect trap even years after the events proved it wasn't a trap at all. I'm crafty like that.
"You have my room ready for me, Lorentino, I paid for a large suite." The modern convenience of being able to call up a place a few days out and tell them you are coming is one of my favorite things about modern times, it almost makes me look past all the horrible things I hate about it. And yes I don't stay in shitty rooms, nor do I ride in coach on a train. I've got the money I enjoy myself even if I don't enjoy myself going out and doing things. If that makes any sense. The young man got a key off the wall and showed me up to the room. It was fairly large with a nice wooden desk and all the proper modern amenities (electricity, running water, even a phone!) I put my bags away, and made sure to properly secure the room (some sigils, some wards, stocking booze, the booze was the important part) and then went out to see my client.
It had been six months since I saved the world again (look stopping Morley's spy is saving the world, trust me on this!) and word of my amazingness had spread to even quaint east coast coastal towns! So much so that the mayor had called me in personally to deal with a magical situation. Ordinarily I'd figure this was a trap and the town was some horrible horror, but since I was now bonafide I knew for sure it was probably a trap and the town was some horrible horror! See I'm improving, instead of suspecting something was off, I knew something was off! But since it was a coastal town and the summer I figured hey might as well enjoy it before the wheels come off and everyone in town was shown to be a spider person (it could happen, I believe it has happened already!)
The Mayor's office was a small building near the docks, it had one polite secretary named Doris, and a room with the mayor that just had "Mayor" as a name plate. Being an elected official I guess they turned over often enough they didn't feel the need to actually put a name under the mayor's door. The Mayor was a large man named Jonesy Boggs. He just screamed small town bureaucrat from the moment I met him in his what felt way too small office, even if it did have a nice view of the docks, I could even see a light house to the left, picturesque.
"Thank the gods you could get here Mr. Lorentino, we have a problem."
"Thanks for inviting me Mr. Mayor, how can Trezlan Lorentino help you today?" I was again expecting trap, but Boggs earnest speech was very inviting, so even more certainly a trap.
"Ghosts Mr. Lorentino, we have a huge problem with Ghosts." And thus began well not a trap in the traditional sense, but you know it still could be a trap, I always suspect trap even years after the events proved it wasn't a trap at all. I'm crafty like that.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
A Cure To Nothing
"So this was all for nothing." Valerie was crestfallen that her work on a poison antidote was wasted. People are like that, they focus on the stupid part of a story and not the cool part (the cool part me using blood magic to murder a city official and getting away with it!).
"Well not for nothing I mean you have a cure for a face melting poison that had to count for something." It actually doesn't count for anything, as if anyone keeps count of any of this.
"Well I don't know, I think I have an antidote, but I don't have a victim to try it on, nor the base poison to cancel it."
"Ok so you maybe have nothing." I was not going to volunteer to try this the love potion turned my pee violet. I don't even want to know what it did to my insides to make my urine violet and frankly I don't want to know.
"How did you avoid getting arrested again?" Her flustered nature wasn't doing her any favors with me, but I don't think Valerie really cared since I'd gotten her involved and ultimately her work solved and did nothing. Which is my usual, so I didn't see why she was all hurt about it, sure I hadn't done this to her previously, but she should get used to this kind of crushing disappointment! Toughens her up.
"Apparently the secretive power behind the power suspected Dupont for some time, once he made his move against me, they made their move against him. It all works out in the end!" There was a bit of a warning about using blood magic, they had their eye on me etc etc, standard threats you know from this journal.
"If we're done I'd like for you to leave, I don't know why you came here anyway."
"To tell you you didn't have to keep working, see if I'm nice to you like that, ever again."
"It would be nice if you paid me for my work!" She shouted it as I was leaving because well I didn't want to pay for work I didn't actually need. Yes I'm a dick like that, look I don't get paid half the time when I do something, how dare she expect me to pay her for something she didn't even guarantee would work! I tell you the nerve of some people!
"Well not for nothing I mean you have a cure for a face melting poison that had to count for something." It actually doesn't count for anything, as if anyone keeps count of any of this.
"Well I don't know, I think I have an antidote, but I don't have a victim to try it on, nor the base poison to cancel it."
"Ok so you maybe have nothing." I was not going to volunteer to try this the love potion turned my pee violet. I don't even want to know what it did to my insides to make my urine violet and frankly I don't want to know.
"How did you avoid getting arrested again?" Her flustered nature wasn't doing her any favors with me, but I don't think Valerie really cared since I'd gotten her involved and ultimately her work solved and did nothing. Which is my usual, so I didn't see why she was all hurt about it, sure I hadn't done this to her previously, but she should get used to this kind of crushing disappointment! Toughens her up.
"Apparently the secretive power behind the power suspected Dupont for some time, once he made his move against me, they made their move against him. It all works out in the end!" There was a bit of a warning about using blood magic, they had their eye on me etc etc, standard threats you know from this journal.
"If we're done I'd like for you to leave, I don't know why you came here anyway."
"To tell you you didn't have to keep working, see if I'm nice to you like that, ever again."
"It would be nice if you paid me for my work!" She shouted it as I was leaving because well I didn't want to pay for work I didn't actually need. Yes I'm a dick like that, look I don't get paid half the time when I do something, how dare she expect me to pay her for something she didn't even guarantee would work! I tell you the nerve of some people!
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Duplicitous Dupont
I recalled when I purchased the desk I specifically wanted something with hard wood so that it could block bullets. At the time I figured I'd upset someone just by being in business (despite magic being widespread and accepted there are people who deny it exists its very werid) but it did manage to absorb the first magazine of Dupont's pistol quite well. Unfortunately for me I didn't have my own pistol to return fire, it was locked in a bottom drawer and the keys were on top of the desk in open view of the person shooting at me. I could have used some fire but I didn't want to ruin my own damned office with the smell of a smoking body. Yes even when my life is threatened I self select how I defend myself.
"Trezlan why are you hiding back there you should be using your magic to show me what a big strong man you are." And here was where I was happy I hadn't just used magic, because clearly Dupont had some kind of counter to it.
"You'll know it when you feel Dupont you sniveling coward." I had no idea what my plan was going to be, but I knew it would work against Dupont because I'm an optimist.
"Even if Morley didn't want you dead, I'd kill you anyway Lorentino, you're a shit person, you've done nothing good for this world and taking you out of it will be a benefit. That I'm going to be made very powerful because of it is just a bonus."
"You're a bigger idiot than I expected if you think Morley will give you anything but a quick death if you kill me Dupont. I know that man better than anyone and he doesn't share." Dupont came into my office firing I could hear the wood buckling under the weight of his gunshots and I think at this point he realized I didn't have much else other than my magic. And I thought for a minute I really was boned, and then I recalled the incomplete necromancy left by the late Mrs. Chance. I hadn't exactly "disarmed" it as much as realized it wasn't finished, so with some words and a bit of my own blood I closed the loop just as Dupont was about to come over my desk.
The spell was not a pretty way of going, Mrs. Chance was not an accomplished necromancer, and in her amateur application her spell was way too much brute force and no nuance (so exactly like Morley's necromancy). It basically turned Dupont inside out. Which did wonders for my flooring as his corpse went up in a flood of blood and guts. Just as guard members who had been called to the sound of gunfire came into see their former boss splattered across my floor. They were understandably weapons drawn.
"I didn't do it!" Which was a lie, but that's me, a liar even with the evidence oozing on my floor boards.
"Trezlan why are you hiding back there you should be using your magic to show me what a big strong man you are." And here was where I was happy I hadn't just used magic, because clearly Dupont had some kind of counter to it.
"You'll know it when you feel Dupont you sniveling coward." I had no idea what my plan was going to be, but I knew it would work against Dupont because I'm an optimist.
"Even if Morley didn't want you dead, I'd kill you anyway Lorentino, you're a shit person, you've done nothing good for this world and taking you out of it will be a benefit. That I'm going to be made very powerful because of it is just a bonus."
"You're a bigger idiot than I expected if you think Morley will give you anything but a quick death if you kill me Dupont. I know that man better than anyone and he doesn't share." Dupont came into my office firing I could hear the wood buckling under the weight of his gunshots and I think at this point he realized I didn't have much else other than my magic. And I thought for a minute I really was boned, and then I recalled the incomplete necromancy left by the late Mrs. Chance. I hadn't exactly "disarmed" it as much as realized it wasn't finished, so with some words and a bit of my own blood I closed the loop just as Dupont was about to come over my desk.
The spell was not a pretty way of going, Mrs. Chance was not an accomplished necromancer, and in her amateur application her spell was way too much brute force and no nuance (so exactly like Morley's necromancy). It basically turned Dupont inside out. Which did wonders for my flooring as his corpse went up in a flood of blood and guts. Just as guard members who had been called to the sound of gunfire came into see their former boss splattered across my floor. They were understandably weapons drawn.
"I didn't do it!" Which was a lie, but that's me, a liar even with the evidence oozing on my floor boards.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
By The Time You Read this I'll Be Dead
-Dear Mr. Lorentino
By the time you read this I'll already be dead, there was nothing you could do to stop me from dying. The poison I'd been injected with was going to kill me either way. If you witnessed my death I apologize for what was probably confusing and scary. This is weird to say, but you are the only person aside from my father I can probably relate to. And it is because of my father I had to take my own life.
My father is a man you know well, Victor Morley, when he found out you were still alive and back in town he wanted me to do everything in my power to kill you using the necromancy he taught me. I refused and his agent killed my husband and then poisoned me making my only option to take your life to spare my own. I would not do this and so I knew I was doomed.
You will think with my death the danger is over, but it is not, right now my father's agent is loose in the city, his plan is to kill you one way or another and he has been taught by my father to do that very well. Trust no one you have met, Morley's hatred of you is very personal and he has had time to establish himself all over the world. I realize how evil he is now, and how he's willing to kill his own child to wound his enemy, I wish I had not been born.
I finished reading the note and felt sad. There were a couple tear stains on the paper clearly writing the note had been very difficult (probably because she was planning on killing herself, though wishing she had never been born would probably be equally as heart breaking). I didn't have a whole lot of time to digest the woman's note as Dupont showed up and pointed his pistol at me.
"Captain Dupont decided to arrest me after all?" I discarded the note in my little trash bin. I did notice there were no other guard members with Dupont. And that's when he opened fire on me, because Dupont was clearly Morley's agent and I had just found out about that a half second too late (I'll blame the hand writing here, her writing was atrocious and the ink had smeared, yes I blamed a dead woman for not properly warning me about an ambush she didn't exactly know was coming, SUE ME!)
By the time you read this I'll already be dead, there was nothing you could do to stop me from dying. The poison I'd been injected with was going to kill me either way. If you witnessed my death I apologize for what was probably confusing and scary. This is weird to say, but you are the only person aside from my father I can probably relate to. And it is because of my father I had to take my own life.
My father is a man you know well, Victor Morley, when he found out you were still alive and back in town he wanted me to do everything in my power to kill you using the necromancy he taught me. I refused and his agent killed my husband and then poisoned me making my only option to take your life to spare my own. I would not do this and so I knew I was doomed.
You will think with my death the danger is over, but it is not, right now my father's agent is loose in the city, his plan is to kill you one way or another and he has been taught by my father to do that very well. Trust no one you have met, Morley's hatred of you is very personal and he has had time to establish himself all over the world. I realize how evil he is now, and how he's willing to kill his own child to wound his enemy, I wish I had not been born.
I finished reading the note and felt sad. There were a couple tear stains on the paper clearly writing the note had been very difficult (probably because she was planning on killing herself, though wishing she had never been born would probably be equally as heart breaking). I didn't have a whole lot of time to digest the woman's note as Dupont showed up and pointed his pistol at me.
"Captain Dupont decided to arrest me after all?" I discarded the note in my little trash bin. I did notice there were no other guard members with Dupont. And that's when he opened fire on me, because Dupont was clearly Morley's agent and I had just found out about that a half second too late (I'll blame the hand writing here, her writing was atrocious and the ink had smeared, yes I blamed a dead woman for not properly warning me about an ambush she didn't exactly know was coming, SUE ME!)
Monday, June 2, 2014
Confused My Natural State of Being
Defusing someone elses attempt at necromancy even after they are dead is not exactly easy, or fun, or something I would want to do, but since this was my own damn office I felt I had to actually get back inside somehow. So there I was trying to sort out if the dead woman in my office had actually used a blood trap of some kind, or was she just lying. The answer was somewhere in the middle, it appeared she had made an attempt at one, but in typical amateur fashion she had not actually completed the actual trap. I say appeared because even though it didn't look completed it was still very very dangerous (its like explosive, sure it looks like the person didn't set the bomb up right, but that still doesn't mean the magic wasn't potentially very lethal, plus she took her own life, a way to super charge necromancy). I wish I had a rat or an annoying child to test it out on, but since the only other living thing with me was Valerie and as assholish as I am I didn't feel it was nice enough to just let her step in and hope for the best. So I did using all of my of magical tricks (also known as gingerly walking in and hoping I didn't explode into a huge flesh bomb) as I am still writing this journal clearly I didn't explode in flesh and sadness.
"Why would she do that to herself?" It was a good question, I mean she literally cornered herself waiting for me, and then killed herself, if she was trying to implicate me in the murder it was a bad effort, I mean it would be obvious to anyone who looked at the body she killed herself in horrifying fashion.
"No clue, she trapped herself in here, kind of tried to kill me and then killed herself, honestly I wish most of my enemies did that." After verifying it was safe we left to go to Captain Dupont, because I'm not an idiot and I didn't want to be accused of another murder.
"So you're saying you came across Mr. Chance's wife she talked very briefly about not coming and closer and then killed herself." Dupont did not seemingly sound convinced, I still had Valerie with me, but I was really thinking that wasn't the smartest move in case Dupont arrested both of us.
"That's exactly what happened Captain Dupont I can vouch for Trezlan." Valerie was doing her best to get arrested along side me.
"That's just confusing." Dupont sounded literally bewildered, it was nice to have someone who's first move wasn't to just blame me anyway. I mean I'm sure that was his second move, but it was nice to have a delay.
"That's what I thought Captain Dupont, clearly though you can solve your case, wife did it, overcome with grief and fear of being caught she killed herself in my office." He looked at me like I was being overly callous and then shrugged his shoulders.
"Works for me, I'll send someone to get the body." True to his word he did send someone to collect the body (the blood I had to clean up, it ruined my new desk even, what a selfish person!). Valerie left me to work on the poison (despite the case being solved she wanted to find out what actually killed chance) and the pajama people seemingly left me alone as well. So I thought everything was resolved until I noticed one of my books out of order and found the note the dead Mrs. Chance had left, and like all things in my stupid life things got more complicated right quick.
"Why would she do that to herself?" It was a good question, I mean she literally cornered herself waiting for me, and then killed herself, if she was trying to implicate me in the murder it was a bad effort, I mean it would be obvious to anyone who looked at the body she killed herself in horrifying fashion.
"No clue, she trapped herself in here, kind of tried to kill me and then killed herself, honestly I wish most of my enemies did that." After verifying it was safe we left to go to Captain Dupont, because I'm not an idiot and I didn't want to be accused of another murder.
"So you're saying you came across Mr. Chance's wife she talked very briefly about not coming and closer and then killed herself." Dupont did not seemingly sound convinced, I still had Valerie with me, but I was really thinking that wasn't the smartest move in case Dupont arrested both of us.
"That's exactly what happened Captain Dupont I can vouch for Trezlan." Valerie was doing her best to get arrested along side me.
"That's just confusing." Dupont sounded literally bewildered, it was nice to have someone who's first move wasn't to just blame me anyway. I mean I'm sure that was his second move, but it was nice to have a delay.
"That's what I thought Captain Dupont, clearly though you can solve your case, wife did it, overcome with grief and fear of being caught she killed herself in my office." He looked at me like I was being overly callous and then shrugged his shoulders.
"Works for me, I'll send someone to get the body." True to his word he did send someone to collect the body (the blood I had to clean up, it ruined my new desk even, what a selfish person!). Valerie left me to work on the poison (despite the case being solved she wanted to find out what actually killed chance) and the pajama people seemingly left me alone as well. So I thought everything was resolved until I noticed one of my books out of order and found the note the dead Mrs. Chance had left, and like all things in my stupid life things got more complicated right quick.
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