I Don't See Any Ghosts

"You'll have to repeat that." To say I was incredulous to the belief a town could be harassed by ghosts would be an understatement.

"We have a ghost problem Mr. Lorentino." Boggs was trying to be super serious, but I almost laughed. I mean ghosts can be obnoxious, at times they can even be a little dangerous, but a problem? Please, problems are like me, or ravenous rats that eat only the flesh off the balls of your feet (the tastiest of flesh), ghosts are never a real problem (ignoring in the past when they have been a real problem of course).

"I don't see any ghosts, haven't sensed any either." I admit I wasn't exactly looking for them though, because I'm obtuse like that.

"You didn't notice my secretary, she's not alive Mr. Lorentino!" Ok here's a hypothetical if the guy you hired to solve your ghost problem did not notice that well over half your town was actually ghosts, would you keep that man employed? No? Well than you are a better Mayor, than Mayor Boggs. I say this as the person they hired to do this job I was clearly bad at.

"Wait, she's not alive but she's still functioning as a secretary?" I'd heard of ghosts doing strange things, still showing up for work was definitely the weirdest.

"She never leaves now! She died last year, I was in the process of looking for a new secretary when she showed up for work again! It was like she never left, had no memory of dying and think I'm kidding when I point out, she never actually leaves. Its like that all over town! No one stays dead! We had a ship captain get accidentally harpooned bringing in a large catch, even though the harpoon pierced his damn head, he was back to work the next day!" I was perplexed, I admit I had expected some crappy trap left by Morley, not some weird people don't know they are dead issue. It was one of those conundrums.

"Why is this a bad thing?"

"Because its not natural Mr. Lorentino! People should be allowed to die and move on to the afterlife, not be stuck here still doing what they did in life. I loved my secretary, but she's dead, she should rest." It was heartwarming to see the mayor so concerned with how people spent their afterlife. I mean I know of a lot of people who think of still working ghosts as the greatest thing ever.

"Was there some kind of incident that set this whole thing off?"

"If I knew that I wouldn't have called you in Mr. Lorentino!" He seemed angry (because he was) but honestly it was a valid question! I mean you might have known some weird rock slammed into a cemetary and ever since than the dead rose, or there was a blood ritual or something. Obviously none of that happened, but I didn't ask the stupidest question in the world! Anyway the Mayor rudely excused me from his office with a direction of "just fix it" and so I set out to figure out why ghosts didn't want to be dead. Truly the most thankless of tasks.