A Good Read

When selecting a novel to read there are some important factors. First of all is interesting, there are hundreds perhaps thousands of books to read out there, but if they aren't interesting there is no point in reading them! Second is accessibility, if you can't actually read the words in the book or understand them, how ever interesting it may be is lost in not being able to actually comprehend! And thirdly and most importantly for this story and my survival, the thickness of the binding and amount of pages is infinitely important, especially when it comes to stopping a bullet. I don't want to say I choose books specifically on how good they are about stopping a bullet, but it definitely factors in.

So yes I lived because the bullet stopped on page 347 of the book I was reading (the title in case you were wondering was the Execution of Bolivio Bolares, which doesn't sound like a comedy, but trust me it was). Thankfully the members of this particular cult weren't exactly stellar at checking to see if people were dead or even bleeding (I think they didn't check me because I'd gotten blood splashed on me from Shobogon, but it was still lazy!) They had removed me from their chambers and dumped me ceremoniously outside for some poor jerk to have to bury.  Now here is where I admit I waited until the guy had finished the hole before I killed him and knocked him in. I mean he in theory was disposing of my body so he's not a great guy, but I still feel kind of bad I played dead until he had done some manual labor and then deposited him into that labor.  I feel bad about weird things. By the time I got back to the barn the ritual was in full swing, which mean people were eating people. Not like to death or anything, but chunks of arms and legs were being cleaved off and consumed. A weird sort of magical aura was in the air as a half assed made up magical ritual had been performed (which was why I had gotten the vibe from the vase of a ritual being performed near it, but not what type). I drew my pistol and gathered magic in my right hand and then prepared to hopefully stop the madness.

"Stop you must stop." I shouted and they all turned, half eaten pieces of flesh in their mouths, blood running down wounds and cheeks.

"He has risen!" The old lady crowed and I have to admit it did look like I came back from the dead. "The ritual has worked!" I sighed and prepared for an overly long explanation while the cult member stopped eating to worship me as their resurrected god. Now you see the importance of a good book!