I'm very Stringy

"Guys this is all very nice but I don't need a feast in my honor." They had bound my hands and put me on a pole most likely to eat me, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions because you know maybe it was just a really nice feast and that was how they greeted guests? I mean sure their huts and other decorations were made from human bones, and there were the discarded remnants of other visitors nearby, but again I was trying not to judge (it was part of my new softer nicer don't murder everyone I run across Trezlan Lorentino, which sadly never lasts what can I say murder solves everything, literally everything in the world can be solved by murder, including all the murders). They did have a bunch of weird fruits and vegetables, but again those were probably garnishes, I saw no real meat for their very large fire.

Their language was interesting, I could pick up snippets from several really old languages I thought had died out, but it wasn't consistent. Which made trying to figure out what they were saying a real bitch, and trying to talk to them in my language completely impossible (didn't stop me from trying of course). The shorties themselves were dressed in a variety of too big for them sea merchant clothing items (I sell clothes I know what seamn like to wear), which again wasn't really talking very well to the not eating me part of the day. They had my sword sitting next to a large bone throne (always concerting bone thrones, because people who sit upon them are usually bad people I say usually because...)

"STOP!" The voice was commanding, and female. The shorties looked to its owner and a woman glad in armor that seemed to glow in the afternoon sun was its owner. They all stopped, she strode forward to me and cut my bindings. "Mr. Lorentino, I've been expecting you."

Patently ridiculous, impossible, and however unlikely completley right. I tell you it seems like everyone else in this universe is operating from a script I don't have access to. Maybe I should ask that weird guy Hanlon about it, but I'm sure I'd get a decidedly Hanlon answer to my inquiry.