This Is One of Those Self Peeing Trees

"Lorentino? Nope don't know a Lorentino and if you don't mind I'll just be going." I heard the cock of a hammer and knew that my option for fleeing was kind of minimized (kind of I mean I didn't know if he had a bead on me or was just being ahem cocky). He stepped around the tree and I could see his pistol looked fairly large and imposing, much like the rest of him.

"Keep your hands where I can see them, and no sudden magical moves or I'll shoot you dead, do you understand?" I like commands like this, because it implies they aren't intending on killing me unless I make them do it, and I very much don't want to make them do it.

"Can I at least put my penis away I mean I still have the bladder infection I don't want it to get worse." This softened him up exactly as I intended it to (and I did want to put my dick away, its just rude to be talking while swinging in the breeze as it were). He still had the pistol pointed at me, but you know he looked more at ease.

"This situation you want to involve yourself in, is bigger than you Lorentino, for your sake I'd say leave it alone, let nature take its course."

"Yeah sure I'll do that." He sighed, it was the sigh of a man who was about to have to back up a violent threat with actual violence, I know it well. He struck me across the bridge of my nose, it was a blow that made my eyes swim and gave me a bloody nose.

"That is the last warning you'll recieve, if I see you again I'll kill you, I will not let a tempestuous necromancer with a god complex stop my order from our divine mission." He then left threat delivered my eyes watering and my need to take another piss already singing in my bowels. I have mentioned before my hatred of Zealots (except of course when their zealotry involves me naturally) so I knew right then and there I had to stop whatever the Followers of Fire were planning, and not just because Andre and Nidget were my friends and possibly in danger. No this was entirely about Zealotry and not a desire to save two of the only people who put up with me on a consistent basis.  Yep!