Lock Up Switcheroo

The train thumped along, we were moving at a steady clip, which would have been a good thing if me, the prince, and Leland hadn't been captured by prisoners. We were in holding cells formerly set up for prisoner transfers, a scarred up one eyed fat man with a shotgun staring at us to keep us in line. One nice thing is that we were all in the same cell, and I was without magical shackles, though ole one eye looked to have his finger tapped on the trigger.

"I'm still at a loss as to how this happened." That was Leland, he had a black eye developing from when one of the prisoners socked him in the eye.

"Simple really, in failing to get the train going we allowed the prisoners that opportunity to do it for us, and in doing that they figured we were some kind of authority they can ransom." Ole one eye grunted, either in agreeance or just flatulence.

"I still cant' believe you guys got me out of prison to get me ransomed!" The prince was furious, I found it kind of funny, but you know as of late this situation was the least of my problems.

"Don't worry they won't ransom us, once they find out we're on board they'll just blow up the train." I was being optimistic as usual.

"WHAT?!" Leland and the Prince both reacted negatively to my assertion we were not very far from being exploded.  I took the time to lay down on the metal cot.

"Do try and keep it down guys riding the rails always gets me sleepy." It really does.  I also hadn't really slept in a while and I figured I'd cross the exploded bridge when we got to it.  Hopefully not right away mind you.

That's where I have something most of my companions do not.  I have experience in seemingly impossible insane situations that can cost me my life in any number of ways.  I know I'll survive (they may not, but they don't need to hear that!), so why not just take a moment to gather your strength before the next shoe drops.  Because it totally is.

Reluctant Rescue Returns

I met up with Leland and his band outside of the prison (the prison had been built into a ravine, so I got lucky and Leland saw me while I was approaching it with a bomb in the back of a cart, I imagine one of their sharp shooters would have had a lifetime of back claps for blowing up something like that).  He was "disguised" as a travelers who's wagon broke down, being a shorty helped in that no one in the area would actually try and help him, so sitting there forever wasn't out of place, and me stopping also didn't look odd for anyone who might be watching.

"Damn." That was his greeting to me, I figured he might be a little sad I was there.  It was full noon and the heat was already draining.

"Nice to see you too Leland."

"I had hoped you'd strike out with this bomb thing and we could then just go north and leave this fat beaurocrat to his own devices."

"No such luck Leland, so whats the plan?" The "Plan" was pretty much a distract and infiltrate.  Except distract in this case meant "explode and kill a lot of people thus leaving them totally off balance for us to sneak the prince out." I'll admit it was kind of a brute force plan.  One somewhat complicated aspect of it was waiting for a train.  See the prison was built in a ravine under a train tressel (well it was originally a tressel, it became the roof/station for the prison), our plan was to wait for the trains afternoon drop off, explode the bomb, hopefully keeping the train in the station, snatch the prince, hop on the train and be gone before anyone figures it out.  Sounds really easy right?

Now you are probably wondering "How did we get the bomb close enough to the prison to blow it up and cause a disturbance?" Simple, because the prison was built in a ravine, there was an incline to the bottom part (which housed the shorties and the least amount of security, like most things in life the shit was at the bottom). Bearing that in mind, we just rolled it down hill with a lit fuse and hoped for the best (because the plan was so well put together beside this point right? Exactly).  While one group did that, me and Leland were going to sneak in and snag the prince and somehow get the train moving.

It was with great fear I waited just out of sight of what looked like a nasty guy with a long rifle, Leland dressed as conservatively as I'd seen him to my right.  There was a lot of open ground between us and the prison, and if the bomb failed to explode or distract, there was very little hope we could get inside the prison, well both of us, I'm sure I could have and Leland would have become a bullet pin cushion.

"Did they release it?" I was getting anxious.

"Yes, I still think this is a really bad idea."

"Of course it is, thats why it'll work, no one would be this stupid to attack a prison when a supply train is there, since obviously there'll be more guards to move the supplies and prisoners."

"What?" And then the bomb exploded thus ending our conversation.  I say exploded, but in reality it detonated so loud and with such force that the ground shook with it. I was worried we might have just blown up the whole damn prison it was so loud.  It worked though, the guy with the mean looking rifle disappeared somewhere, and we made a break for the entrance.  It was a heavy metal door (naturally) set in a stone wall.  Leland looked at the lock and took out some tools.

"What are you doing?" Behind the door I could hear chaos inside, it sounded like the explosion must have hit while they were transfering prisoners, sounds of fighting and screams of pain echoed.

"Picking the lock, unless you know another way to open one."

"Yeah I do." It took a bit more juice than I would have liked, but I managed to burn the hinges off the heavy door and with a kick sent it slamming hard to the floor, crushing a prisoner who apparently was trying to pick it on the other side (sorry buddy). Inside was a mad house as the sounds made it seem.  Guards were fighting a losing battle against shackled prisoners, who had somehow gotten guns and were doing their best to kill everything that looked like they were in a uniform. Our plan couldn't have worked out better (because it was flawless you see) and with no trouble at all we had the prince out of his cell (I let Leland pick the lock, since we had some time now and I didn't want to expend anymore energy than I needed) and were on our way to the train.

I'll admit the prince looked worse for wear, but he hugged me when we freed him (he was still fat, but he was that I haven't eaten fat, look its hard to explain, just trust me).  Surpringly we were able to board the engine of the train no issue, no guards or anything were trying to keep prisoners away from it.  And thats where the problems started.

"So lets get going." I was eager to leave, we weren't exactly going to take the train all the way to the next destination, but we needed it to successfully escape the prsion.

"Sure start it up Trezlan." Leland looked to me and I looked to him, and then we both looked to the Prince.
"Neither of you two no how to get this thing running?" He said with that kind of royal assholery only someone who can barely tie his shoes can muster.

"Shit." Leland and I said it in unison, you know what they say, best laid plans of idiots always foiled by lacking knowledge.  Well no one says that, but I just did and since I live forever IT WILL NOW BE A THING YOU ARE WELCOME!

Accidental Traitors

The Hanlon arms group were kind of secretive.  And I don't just mean that like they weren't open about who was in charge (they weren't) or that they hid their factories and warehouses in weird places (they did, including one disguised as a farm).  Their motivations in general were hard to figure out. Like they supported Ronerawth in general, but previous traitors have been found with Hanlon arms caches (they claimed stolen/purchased legally).  On top of that unlike every other major group in Ronerawth they had no representative in the capitol, or were even involved in politics.  They didn't get involved in mining disputes, or labor union issues or anything.  It lead to a lot of talk that the people who work for Hanlon were all enslaved magical something or others, as no one seemed to actually work for them that anyone knew (which was ridiculous I met their very human workers once, though I will admit I didn't exactly hang around to see if they were real people...).

I go over all of this to explain that while I was visiting one of their warehouses to pick up explosives, it wasn't like it was in a major city or really under any surveillence of Ronerawth. It actually had taken me years to even find one of their warehouses (previously their weapon shipments to my shop just arrived by crate with a note detailing where I can put payment, this went on decades before I finally got in the "circle" to find where the weapons were coming from), I don't know if Ronerawth even knew it was there (it was disguised as a milk farm, though there were no animals to milk).  I knocked on the door and a nicely dressed man greeted me, there were no guards or even other people.  Which again was odd for a warehouse full of weaponry, to the right of the door I knocked on were large double doors probably for loading and unloading freight, but I dunno could have been a place for a huge cannon, you can never tell with some people.

"Trezlan Lorentino what a pleasant surprise." When I stop by some place out of the blue to meet someone who would have no idea I'm coming, well it makes me a bit leery when they not only address me personally, but warmly.

"You have me at a loss."

"Toneron Hanlon," He extended his hand and I shook it to be polite, "I believe you knew my grandfather."

"Knew is a very generous assessment of my association."

"Of course, you're looking good, glad to hear you got your magic and with it necromancy back, follow me will you?" I was a bit taken back, I knew Hanlon was aware of me as a person, a bit more alarmed they knew about my troubles and my necromancy. We passed out of the hallway and into an office, again I saw no one in the warehouse, nor were their houses or horses for workers.  I was getting more than a little creeped out.

"I need a bomb." I decided to be blunt as I sat in a chair that felt overly too soft, yet inviting all the same.

"Of course you do." His eyes had lit up, for a second I thought it was a trap, that I had been lead to slaughter by a smiling madman and now the noose would close in.  "Do you also need some less than honest mercenaries who would be willing to over throw the government?"

"No just the bomb, aren't you a little worried what I'll do with it?"

"I assume you'll blow something up, and thats fine with me, sure you don't need those mercenaries? I have some good leads should you need some men not happy with the government." He had an unnatural smile, like you weren't seeing a real smile, but whatever behind the smile wanted to think you were.

"You don't care that I'm labeled a traitor?"

"Traitor and hero are only decided by the victor, wars are good for business, if you fail the government buys more to suppress your actions, if you win we stood behind a glorious revolution, either way its fantastic for Hanlon." Remember this for later, not like immediately but this stance comes back...

"I'm a bit taken back by your vision Mr. Hanlon."

"Because you think we care who runs this place Mr. Lorentino.  We don't care, the same way you and Morley (again creepy how they knew my associates/enemies), we only care about Hanlon." This sentiment has started to creep up other places,  I worry about it becoming more popular even today, religions are one thing, they follow gods, what do corporations follow?

"So about that bomb?"

"How big do you need it?"

"Something big enough to cause a lot of panic and blow a large hole in a fortified structure."

"I'll have a wagon and horses out front for you Mr. Lorentino, would you like an upgrade to your pistol while you're here? I notice its an older model."

"No I'm good thanks."

"Good good, do you need a guard or will you be riding alone."

"I'll be fine Mr. Hanlon."

"Please call me Toneron, Mr. Hanlon was my father, now if you excuse me I have other business to deal with." The door opened though there was no one there to open it (I checked though tried not to make it look obvious) and I was shocked when the cart and horses were outside of the warehouse, they even had the horse I'd ridden with attached in a harnes.  I saw no workers, or even footprints of people who had brought this cart into existence.  I started to feel wrong in a way that I couldn't explain, leaving the fake milk farm became an overriding desire.  I got the horses going with the reins and felt better with the creepy warehouse behind me, until I looked on the seat next to me and saw a map with a simple note.

"Though you might need directions to the prison, good luck Trezlan." It was written in what almost looked like a womans hand, though I hadn't seen any women there, and I won't even go over that I hadn't mentioned I was blowing up a prison.  I got the feeling I'd somehow signed a deal with an entity that was not simply a weapon manufacturer, and what I was paying with was not going to be money.  At the same time though, I had bigger problems.  Like breaking that idiot prince out of jail! And now I had the means and method for doing just that, so later concerns would have to wait till they came back to bite me in the ass later!

You need a Plan, and explosives, but mainly a Plan

"So then I pop out of the bottom of the cart, slip by the guards, find the prince and then we sneak back out before anyone knows he's missing!"

"That's your plan?"

"Worked with your relative!" It did I swear people think I just make things up or something.

"That was entirely different, this is a real prison staffed with real guards and the government is not in a war or in turmoil.  Now you're in luck my crew has had to break people out of this prison before, thats good."

"Great!"

"But they were in the shorty section of the prison, an uncategorized hole where they don't even note the names of the people they have locked up, where as your prince will be in the actual secured parts, with real guards and everything."

"That's bad."

"Yeah that's real bad." Leland sighed, he had the plans for the prison open (where he got them I have no idea, he seemed like a resourceful little bugger), "You wouldn't happen to have access to a lot of explosives or anything would you?"

"No wait... maybe?"

"You don't know if you have access to explosives?"

"Well I have a contact with a weapon manufacturer, and while they don't make cannons or anything, they have access to black powder to make ammunition, so if we can get our hands on that."

"If they don't already abandon you for being a traitor."

"So negative Leland, don't do that, its my schtick." It is damn it, if people act all doom saying about everything it leaves nothing for me to say, which doesn't mean I won't stop talking, it just means that I don't say anything worth saying! Wait that doesn't sound right.

"I'm just saying Trezlan maybe we should..."

"Nonesense, I can get the explosives, you get your people and plan together."

"You don't even know what I'm planning!"

"Excellent, that way if I'm caught I can say I had no idea what you're up to! This is fool proof Leland."

"It can't be, because your involved we have a fool already."

"Again with all the negativity! Think positive thoughts!" I gathered some things (like my sword someone had helpfully brought along, and one of my pistols) and escorted my horse out of the cave. Leland followed after me, an exasperated look on his face.

"You don't even know where this prison is!"

"I'll figure it out, I always do! Just have your part of the plan ready."

"What plan?"

"Exactly!" And with that I mounted and was off.  I didn't stop to think what would happen if Ronerawth was waiting for me at the Hanlon warehouse, because as most things in my life, I don't exactly think every little detail through, because honestly where's the fun in that?

Rescues Are for Suckers

"Yes I heard you, but I still don't understand you Mr. Lorentino." My rescuer was Leland Pavarosi the Fourth (I don't actually know if he was the fourth Leland or he just liked the title), a relative of the shorty I saved back in the day.  So that at least explained why he risked his life and that of his fellow circus folk to save me.  Well it sort of does, gods know I wouldn't risk my life for someone that helped a relative of mine, not that I have any of those left anyway! Also when I say circus, I mean den of thieves.  And not like informally, he admitted as much to me that their "circus" is at best a cover for them robbing people blind.  I had to admit the operation was genius, distract people with tricks, steal everything that isn't nailed down while that happens, and then pull up stakes before the authorities catch on.

"Its simple I can't exactly run away, and the only idiot who can tell me whats going on, is set to be executed himself, so now I have to save him thus doubly proving I was in on a conspiracy I was certainly not involved with." Leland looked at me with a squint that showed he did not understand what I was saying.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"And that will be the last thing they expect, look I can't expect your circus to get involved in this, you already risked enough, but I have to do this, because I'm not going back to the Red Hand or east, I'm staying in Ronerawth and figuring out who's trying to kill me."

"The government, the entire government is out to kill you." He was right, but you know just because someone is right doesn't mean they are right. Understand that? Exactly.

"All I need is a horse, a pistol, and possibly a sword, and I think I can pull this off." I was overestimating my abilities by just a little bit.

"Have you ever broken into a prison to free someone before?"

"Sure lots of times, wait break in? No, I've been thrown in though, same deal right?" Leland shook his head, I could see behind him the twins were learning a new "magic" trick from one of his helpers, the magic of course was in palming someones wallet while doing the trick.  Leland had picked up the twins when he'd heard about my execution, he was intending on grabbing useful things from my house and didn't realize they'd be there, an unlike me he would have felt guilty just leaving a couple young girls to probably be executed for treason for being connected with me (look I can admit it, I'm not that great a parental figure).

Leland sighed again and then pulled out a map from a nearby satchel, "I figured you'd want to do something stupid like this, my ancestors warned me that if I ever felt the need to work with you, I'd have to deal with crazy, I had no idea how right they were."

"So you're going to help me?"

"If you won't leave these lands, this is my bands best chance of getting out of the hole I dug them in saving you."

"Ahh so I'm not the only one who doesn't think their plans through?"

"Yep, both of us have proven to be damned idiots, who else to plan another rescue?"

And so it came that Leland and his circus of thieves helped me rescue a prince who may or may not have actually committed treason.  In looking back I think we should have figured out if he was actually treasonous first.  Oh well in hindsight everything I do seems foolish. Maybe that says something?

The Execution of Trezlan Lorentino

Public executions always bring out the worst in people. Some dick always brings fruit to throw at the soon to be executed (because its not like getting hung, shot, or your head chopped off is enough, no someone has to throw garbage on you). People act like your crime is the worst thing ever even when you might not have actually done it or it was something they themselves would have done.  And the smell from the unwashed peons is enough to make you wish the execution was over faster (thus hastening your own demise).

With all that in mind you can see why despite it being a nice sunny day and fairly warm I was less than happy standing on the hanging platform awaiting my short drop with a quick stop (I was glad they decided to do this on a platform, another method of hanging that is not so pleasant involves a tree, a horse, and leverage, you can probably figure that one out).  To make matters worse the pompous ass in charge had decided it was neccessary to rattle off my "crimes" for all the world to hear.  While it was nice to know what false charges I was accused of, it made the time I was standing on a platform hands tied behind my back and noose around my neck last a couple freaking hours (not exagerating, this guy had a speech and a routine for everything, it was less an execution and more of a political statement).

It was nice that it let me see all the dirty people in the crowd and get pelted with rotten vegetables thrown by said dirty people. I did notice something curious though, there were more shorties than I'd seen in a Ronerawth crowd in a while, everytime I'd lay eyes on one they'd nod back like in agreence to some pact I wasn't privy to. I did feel a little less afraid of trying to escape since it either implied they thought I was in a conspiracy with them and thus they'd be more likely to help me escape, or they were there to rescue me for some reason (I'd always been nice to shorties, sort of, ok not all the time, but I didn't like kick them everytime I ran across them!). For my own part in the "not wanting to be executed plan" I had already burned the rope they were holding my hands tight with and thanks to all the time the politician spent yammering on, and the fact that my rope was pretty loose around my neck allowing me to look up at it (hence the reason I said to make it tight, assholes made it loose to insure it wouldn't snap my neck but let me hang there, its the sure fire way of getting someone to do something, tell them not to do it) and thus weaken the rope more by quietly burning it (but not enough to alert the bored guards near me it had been thusly weakened). I was all set to free myself when the politician finally brought his remarks to a close.

"And so we will take from Lorentino, what he would take from us all, his life, do you have anything to say in response Trezlan?" He was wearing a white wig and some ridiculous purple outfit that even I was taken aback by.

"The Fire God looks not kindly on traitors, nor executioners who they themselves should be executed, think on that and be done with this." I don't actually believe in the Fire God (well I believe she exists as gods have been proven to, I just don't believe in the wacky religion that has sprung up around her), what I do believe though is that ignorant people get wary when someone invokes a God, especially when I was planning to free myself with fire magic (thus setting up even more waryness in my audience).

The politician left the platform, and his guards followed (because no one wants to be standing near someone about to be executed, I might do something crazy).  I steadied myself for the drop (and hoped I'd weakened the rope enough so that it would simply break, and not my damn neck), I heard a lever fall and then the platform underneath me gave way.  I hit the ground with an oof, and then the platform over me exploded (something I did not cause). It took me a minute to get out from under burning wooden debris (great plan by the way you dicks blow up the thing DIRECTLY ON TOP OF ME)  I heard gun shots and shouts from all places, well I say heard, but really all I heard was ringing in my ears and muted sounds that sounded like gunfire and shouts.  I stumbled out of the wreckage of the formerly wooden structure and a shorty in a really gaudy hat grabbed my hand.

"Come Trezlan we have to get you out of here." Seeing as I had a ringing in my ears, and had almost gotten crushed by burning debris I wasn't really up to saying no (it wasn't implausible for Ronerawth to be pulling a fast one on me and faking my escape to get me to turn on my fellow traitors, but since I didn't have any fellow traitors, it would have been ridiculously stupid to do so). The entire street formerly full of dirty people was now filling with soldiers and gun fire.  I was actually surprised at how many shorties seemingly came out to save me (thus probably supporting the theory I was a traitor).  I was lead into an alley where a couple horses were waiting, fancy hat and I mounted and were quickly away, well I stumbled to my horse, and he lead me away, but still the sounds of gunfire faded before the ringing in my damn ears.

We had gotten lucky that the city planned for my execution was a smaller hamlet and not the capitol, because it let us flee in the chaos and not be in a more spread out urban enviroment making that a lot harder. Fancy hat lead me to what else but a damn cave and we dismounted and walked our horses inside (because if you are hiding out, leaving your horses out in the place you were is a really bad idea). Inside the cave were other shorties, all of them armed and looking like bandits, though with less fanciful outfits than my savior in the hat.

"Welcome to my Circus Mr. Lorentino!" Fancy hat had a weird way of introducing people, but I can't blame him, I mean he literally ran a circus!

What Kind of Fake Treason Plan is This?

I miss the old Ronerawth government.  When they wanted to threaten you, they took you out to the desert and threatened to have you die of thirst and heat.  It was at least bright and welcoming, like "Well they are threatening my life but at least I'm getting some sun". Now its all dark rooms with one harsh light and no furniture, they still do this (or so I've heard since I'm effectively exiled, but not for this bit of dumbery something later, that I actually did do). The two men who were with me as I transitioned from my failed cell trap to the dark room they would interegate me in were obviously members of the Royal guard, as denoted by their fancy pistols and purple clothing.  It told me I was in something serious as opposed to the times I've been locked up for hilarity sake by just regular peons.  I wasn't shackled, so apparently the Ronerawth government had heard of my magical issues and no longer considered me much of a threat (it was my ace in the hole for the situation).  I was placed on a chair unchained or restrained at all, but the implication was I should remain seated.

"Ok lets just skip to the part where you threaten me with made up charges and request I do something I don't want to do, but will agree to, to avoid some action to innocent people." As you've read before this wasn't my first go round.

"Excuse me?" The lead talker, thinner than his friend, obviously the "brains" of their group.

"You can't possibly expect me to believe that you think I'm involved in whatever treasonous whatever you've drummed up, I've been out of the country for months, I just got back!"

"And you're known as a planner, someone who plots things out in advance Lorentino." Known by whom? I have no idea, because most of the time the only thing I plot out in advance is failure, witness my attempt to kill Morley over time, clearly already by this point I HAD FAILED!

"Ok if you don't want me to do something for you, what the hell is this all about?"

"We want to know the other conspirators, you are set to be executed anyway Lorentino, but do the country a favor and let us know who else was involved." How pleasant, the you're already dead, kill some other people on the way out.

"Right of course, method of execution?"

"Public hanging."

"Well I got some advice for you guys, make sure the rope is strong and tight." And at that point I refused to cooperate, because screw burning other people not involved in this, though I had to wonder if that idiot prince had actually gotten involved in treason. It didn't matter to my captors, they marched me from interogation back to my cell and I awaited my "execution".  I put that in quotes because again I had my magic again and these idiots were about to try and hang me when I'm a fire magic user, thats idiotic, but as it turns out for me, beneficial! Since I'm clearly still alive I made it away, and next entry I'll enthrall you with my brilliance, because as always I'm amazing.

No Good Comes From Worrying

When you are staring down jail cell bars facing treason charges in Ronerawth you only can really worry about it (not that I'd hope you'd be reading my journal should you be facing this situation because it raises all sorts of negative questions about what has happened to me!).  Which really does you no good, its not like you can worry the bars down, or worry the charges away, or worry a rescue into being. Worry which now seems like a made up word because I've said it too much, is the last thing you should do in this situation.

What you should be doing is planning an elaborate escape, something involving a hilarious sequence of strange events designed to free you from your predicament. Mine was arranging a sequence of pebbles above the entrance to my jail cell to come gently falling down on the first person to open the door.  Once they were distracted from the stones I would punch them out and take their weapons and keys to be able to run free and make it back to my home and start planning phase two of my grand plan (ok so my plan wasn't that complicated, but damn it it took forever to set those stones up there).

Unfortunately when my jailer did come the stones just pattered on his head, he looked at me with a growl and then I was drug away.  PLAN FOILED! See I would have been better off just worrying. And what did you learn little journal? Absolutely nothing, and so you and I back then have something in common!

Treason is The Reason For The Season

"No." I'd told the man to wait at the front door while I dealt with the twins (he was shocked that I had a couple children with me, and then he gave me a knowing glance that was a little more creepy than I expected).  The twins for their part hadn't destroyed too much yet, though the shattered remains of something I'd collected for some reason was a bit angering.

"Come on Trezlan you'll need us!" They were trying to make a case that we were a team of some sort and I'd need a couple almost teenager magic users bopping around with me in what would probably be a boring situation that even I didn't want to get involved with.

"Do either of you two understand Ronerawth law?" They shook their heads.

"Can either of you two tell when someone is lying to you?" I knew the answer to this already because I'd lied to them SEVERAL TIMES already, but they again shook their heads.

"Then you stay here, I'll send someone over with food, you both can read right?" They looked dejected, but nodded their heads they could read, "Ok so you can amuse yourselves with these." I produced a couple books I'd written on magical theory years previous (theory in the idea that these were horrible ideas that I'd scrawled while drunk and dealing with misery, the hand writing alone would keep them lost from the get go, the rambling insanity would do the rest), they actually looked delighted about reading them, clearly not knowing what they'd gotten themselves into.

My new companion down stairs was still dutifully waiting when I got there (and I was half hoping he'd have left thus sparing me the problems I was about to get into). After a quick trip to the local butcher to make sure my girls got fed (my girls, god I almost sounded like a parent after all, though I was a bit afraid they wouldn't be able to properly digest the meat since our diet in the lands of the east was decidedly a less rich affair, I didn't have time to plan out a real meal so I rolled the dice and lost they ended up throwing up for the first few days), we were on our way in a horse drawn carriage (because riding regular horses is for the small folk).  I was unarmed figuring this was more of a dusty fight with some old stuffy folks over wording, than an actual rescue operation in which I'd have to kill anyone (despite just surviving being underequipped and underprepared I did it again, see I never learn any lesson). I wanted to ask my companion about where we were going or what I was going to do when I got there but he put a finger to his lips and I let it go. We arrived shortly at our location, the driver thumped the carriage and the door opened, standing in front of me was an entire military regiment guns trained on me, my companion had also pulled a pistol and put it to the back of my head.

"Trezlan Lorentino, you're under arrest for treason." And thats where things got a little complicated.

Give Me One Damn Day

"You're house is huge!" Jara exclaimed as soon as we got inside (You are probably wondering how I still had my house keys after losing all my stuff etc etc, well I never bring them with me, I leave them with a shorty when I take a trip specifically because of my crazy life). The twins had dropped their bags (we also went shopping before coming home, because I didn't want them looking like the dirty vagrant kids they were, because frankly I was going to get a lot of shit anyway for the twins living with me, I didn't need rumors of sex slavery tacked on), and ran up the stairs past a lot of expensive things to more expensive things.

"Try not to break everything I own ok?" I called after them but figured my complaints were falling on deaf, or at the very least unconcerned ears. I had turned around to pick up the bags and shut the door when a man had put himself inside of it.

"Mr. Lorentino." I silently cursed to myself, I never get a moment alone, no of course not, I have to deal with everything in the whole world all the time FOREVER! This pattern continues to this day, everytime single time I'm about to enjoy something I like, some jerk sticks his foot in my door and wants something.

"The answer is no, you're in my house and I don't want you to be!" I made a move to close the door but of course he had inserted himself inside, such is the way with people asking for help.

"The Prince needs your help Lorentino!" Of course he did, he always did, every damn day I woke up that lazy clown needed my help with something, but what about my needs? Needs like not being bothered every damn DAY!

"Look I just got back, can't I have like a month or a year before that idiot gets himself in trouble?"

"He's about to be executed for Treason!" Ok that one gave me a bit of pause, all of my planning got screwed up if he went and got himself executed.  I sighed and looked up as the sound of something breaking and a child yelling "Sorry" followed it.

"Ok, lets start at the beginning, how did he get involved with treason?" And just like that a new problem showed up at my door and got my attention.

Goodbye Old Problems!

Turns out killing a good has ramifications for the followers.  I know I was surprised myself well not really that surprised but you know I'm just trying to be polite to people who have long since died... MOVING ON! So in the white ladies power explosion from my body her army of flesh creatures and former vengeance victims disintegrated (more like exploded in bloody eruptions, but all the same they went away).  The change in the people was immediate, they were jubilant that they personally had stood their ground or whatever lies they told themselves.  Of course within a month they were back to their blood thirsty calling on the lady and her refusal to answer their prayers invoked another bloody period of time for the people of the east, but I was not around for this time just read about it in Ruk's letters.

Ruk and Jules got married and continued to live on the farm despite its bloody history for Ruk (Jules also forgave that whole thinking she was his undead mother coming back for revenge). They raised eight kids! Their great grandchildren currently run the farm to this day, they were even able to replant the field I destroyed. Ruk sent me letters every other month (regular trade once again opened up with the lands of the east once the white lady died and the storm that had magically kept the lands apart dissipitated), his kids did the same, as did their children, though they do mention how odd it is to send someone letter and recieve letters from someone who is so vastly old (I didn't tell them I was a necromancer, just some kind of god creature, it was easier that way).  Jules passed away first, Ruk shortly thereafter, both had lived long good lives though (well as good as farmers can), so in that their passing was a peaceful one.

The twins actually came with me back to Ronerawth against my wishes (well I fought it for like half a second, the idea of traveling on a boat back alone was a bit hard even for an isolationist jerk like myself).  We had adventures of our own that I still have to document in this journal so I will not speak of their fates other than to say they did not suffer for want, or die horribly (see happy endings for everyone!)

I did not see Dezryan or his order again (which was for the best for those slimey murderous jerks).  I heard they continued fighting a war against a different kind of flesh creature, but really didn't care enough to investigate it, and he apparently never felt the need to "correct" his mistake.  I'm sure word that I killed a god probably didn't exactly make him happy to chase after me. I'm sure he's dead by now, or hopefully will be soon.  If I never see another blind warrior I'll live a happy man (for I never intend on dying).

As far as me personally I awoke from my power explosion a few weeks later in a nice bed with Ruk and his group looking on.  Jules who had become a proficient seamstress or was one previously had produced some clothes for me out of either modesty or not wanting to see my naked body (either or really).  As I said earlier the twins begged me to take them with me and I relented, we chartered the first boat out of the lands of east with some money Ruk's family had saved up (I promised to pay him back and did so when I returned).  It was amazing how fast basic services returned after the flesh creature crazyness, but I later found out this wasn't the first time these people had betrayed the god, just the last one (thanks to me, though no one happened to thank me, the stupid jerks).

I was very happy to put my time in the east behind me.  It was an awful place full of pricker bushes, slavers, and gods of vengeance.  Though I did end up getting the twins as adopted children, and I'll admit I was kind of happier than I let on they wanted to come back with me (having no actual children of my own has always been a sticking point of sadness for me, err I mean screw those little monsters!) Naturally no sooner was I back in Ronerawth than new issues sprang up, but thats just the way these things go.  And you know the drill tomorrow blah blah blah!

Just Deal With It

The Lady in White came by herself.  She didn't really need her army to assault the farm anyway, its not like we had built battlements or anything (which is partially my fault I'll admit but I know little of construction and even less so of actual battlements).  She glided to the front of the farm house, gods frequently don't walk  (I've heard the Fire God rides a river of fire to battle, but never personally seen that so its just rumor and bullshit as far as I know). We had been arguing all night about the stupidity of the deals the east had made with this creature, and her ears must have been burning, because the lilting tone from the front scared the shit out of me.

"Trezlan come out and lets," there was a pause as if she was considering every word extremely carefully, "Talk." Ruk and the rest looked at me in terror, I couldn't blame them, I was terrified myself. I made my way outside, I was unarmed aside from my magic (don't blame me all I had left were the empty pistols, and outside of the comic aspect of throwing them at her, they wouldn't do any good).

"What do you want?" I tried to sound defiant, but it came off a little desperate, like I was asking her more out of fear than anger (which to be truthful I was).

"For you to leave these lands, you are not one of mine, you can not stop me nor should you want to, these people brought this on themselves, when I'm done they'll go back to worshipping me a bit more fearful of my wrath than in the past, that is all."  It sounded good, but remember what I said in the past, NEVER MAKE A DEAL WITH A GOD!

"Don't really have a way out of here, my boat sank at sea."

"For a price I can return you to your lands,  I'll even do you a favor."

"What's the price?" I'll admit, despite my previous advice I was considering going against it, because I'm a hypocrite and liar.

"Kill those people in the farm house."

"Why?"

"One already made a deal with me and failed to honor his part, the other three are part of my original bargain with this land, they are all mine Trezlan you can do nothing to stop this." You know what pissses me off more than everything else that pisses me off? Being treated like I have no say in a matter I clearly do.

"Thanks, but I think I'll take my chances with these idiots I don't make deals with gods." I went to leave and felt her icey hand pluck me off my feet and hold me by the neck. I couldn't turn my head, but I didn't need to the tone of her voice was punishment enough I didn't have to see her face.

"You speck of inexistence if I will it you are gone, YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!" Did I ever mention in the past you should never let a necromancer touch you? Ok well don't ever let a necromancer touch you.  Most of our magic is personal blood ritutal stuff, that needs contact with either our physical person or our blood (thus making necromancy the sexually transmitted disease of magic), this includes grabbing one to try and threaten him with your creepy white woman powers. I grabbed her hand with my left (because she had grabbed me from my right side, reaching her with my right hand would have been ridiculous), and even though I'd been out of practice I was able to remember the ritutals properly and spoke the words faster than I'd ever spoken anything before (or since to be honest).

What started as her grabbing me, became me grabbing her, I felt my feet under me as my power overtook hers.  A swell of power ripped into me, like taking a bath in lava it was excruciating (not that I've done that, but I can assume from this personal scarring painful moment its equivelent, not that any of you will ever suck the power of a god into you with hope). On top of the pain, the memories were confusing, God's don't have the same kind of memory you or I do, they have some kind of floating concience, so there wasn't a concept of time or natural flow, just moments all in the same time frame.  What took less than a minute to do, felt like years to me, when I could see clearly again Ruk and the others were out and near, I warned them to stay back.

Sucking a person's soul down is one thing, its a one to one type transaction, we are on the same wave length as it were.  A god is another thing entirely, their entire existence is based on belief and some odd framework of magic, taking their energy is like trying to drink the ocean only worse because I was able to do it.  I was too "full" as it were. I could feel power seeping out of me in all directions.  If you ever had a question if a man can be a god? The answer is no, no we can not.

I ran away from Ruk and his group, I ran far and hard because I could feel magic exploding out of me and I honestly did not know what would happen.  In the end I exploded (not like fleshly, but magically).  The destruction from my explosion annihilated an entire field, it dug into the ground and created a crater unlike any man made weapon had ever inflicted that I'd ever seen. My clothes were vaporized and all the hair on my body burned off.  I was younger again, the old bones and wounds healed by the necromantic arts, but the lingering residue of taking too much in left me unable to move or think, I collapsed and would not awake for weeks later.  The damage I'd done in the east would be felt for generations... But thats for tommorrow, because honestly killing a god is a good enough entry for a day!

Don't Mess With Gods

There were conversations about the white lady while Ruk was still stark naked and Jules was emotionally damaged from almost being shot to death.  They were long, they involved a lot of swearing (by me, sorry twins I saved you from dudity but let you hear my foul language), they involved a lot of "You have to understand this is the way things are blah blah blah" and then me with more swearing.

Ok so the basic gist of the situation is this.  In the lands of the east they don't follow the Fire God (who tends to be the god of violence and vengeane in the lands I'm from) but instead have one god who does vengeance.  She's a white lady (because women are the ultimate avatar of vengeance, don't believe me? Fire God's a woman too) and for the small price of some blood vengeance for someone else, she'll kill whoever you need for your own moment of violence.

Yep these lands screwed themselves by making a deal with a god (never ever make a deal with a god EVER!) Seems they had no trouble killing their neighbors for whatever slight had affected them and while there were plenty of murders things in society worked ok (as ok as a society worshipping a god of vengeance by killing for her can go).  The problems began when they were threatened by a larger military force (supported by Ronerawth) they turned to the white lady who wanted a large sacrifice from these people to do her thing.  They agreed of course and then backed out of the deal after she had murdered their enemies.

Naturally this wasn't really thought out, and that pissing off a god or even making a deal with one in the first place is a really bad idea.  So she turned on them, extracting her blood price (they didn't know the exact deal but had heard all of the first daughters were to be the sacrifice), and thats where I came in, during the middle of her purge of her followers (though she apparently is smarter than the evil that Valrym dealt with as she is specifically leaving people alive, which explained the condition of the farm).

Hearing all of this made me just want to leave these idiots to their fate.  Poor Ruk and his group were on a doomed venture anyway, and the white lady would have just murdered them all anyway.  And this was all their own damn fault! They brought this on themselves and now wanted someone else to fix it for them (which is totally unlike me who steps in shit and has to walk it off ALL THE DAMN TIME!) I think I probably would have actually abandoned them despite liking them, if that damn White Lady hadn't shown up at the farm for me.

Yes you read that right she showed up for me specifically, I'm that awesome.  Well either that or that hated, she isn't the only god who's made a personal appearence for Trezlan, and sadly probably will not be the last. What? I already said I'm that awesome!

Revenge for the Wicked

Screaming is hard to miss. No matter how much you try and ignore it, the sound of someone screaming will always draw your attention (especially during this period of time with the flesh creatures and the murdering).  I had been sleeping with the twins (not like that you sicko, though I'll admit not the best way of putting that... damn you pen) on one end of the farm house while Ruk and Jules were on the other (for alone time you see, two young people in danger needing each other... yadda yadda yadda you get the picture right?).  The screaming was Ruk's, the twins looked at me for some kind of guidance and I just threw on my robe and ran to where the noise was coming from (I almost considered bringing my pistols, but since they were both empty it wasn't like they were going to do me any favors). Ruk was stark naked and holding his rifle on Jules who thankfully had on some kind of evening gown (where she got it? I have no idea, and it wasn't because I hate the female form, I just didn't want that awkward nakedness effecting my ability to resolve a situation as opposed to my normal incompetence).

"You kids have a weird way of doing foreplay." Ok so I'm not the best at negotiating things.  The twins were behind me in the hall, I kept them back for modesty alone (Dudity is not something a twelve year old should really have etched into her brain, wait till she's fifteen and married off to someone double her age!)

"SHE CAME BACK!!!"

"I would assume Jules would come back, I mean its not like we have any place to go?" Ruk turned toward me wild eyed the rifle had its hammer drawn back and his finger was on the trigger tapped to make something go splat.

"YOU! WHO ARE YOU!?" His voice was almost on the verge of tears, it was like he was angry combined with about to cry. I resisted my urge to burn him down, because we probably would need him, probably.  Jules for her part immediately ran from her corner to the door when Ruk took his gun off her. Which prompted Ruk to fire a wild shot that almost hit one of the twins standing in the hallway (cursed wooden hallways that don't stop bullets!)

"I'm Trezlan and you better put that rifle down before something bad happens."

"You don't understand," He was full on crying now, the rifle discarded on the ground, "I killed her and she came back, they all are going to come back."

"Jules is right here, she didn't go anywhere, you didn't kill her." Even for me this conversation was confusing, and I'm someone who frequently talks things over with myself.

"Jules? No my mother, I killed my mother in this house and she's back." I was confused for half a second, and then I thought of the nightgown Jules was wearing and Ruk's apprehensive nature as of late and it clicked.  We were at his family farm.

"You probably had no choice right?" I mean my father became the puppet of a horrible spider creature, so I'm totally ok with murdering ones parents...

"She was a vicious person Trezlan, but this was before the evil," He sniffled again, "I prayed for a solution and then one day a lady in white gave me one..." The lady in white, I was starting to think maybe this evil was more self inflicted than I had surmised.

"The lady in white helped you? You mean the evil bitch that's been chasing us helped you?" The twins and Jules looked away when I looked at them.  "What in the gods is going on here?"

"The gods are what is happening here, we are paying a price for our blood lust." It was Jules, I should have known the most useless person in a fight would be the one to really explain the problem.  And that explination will be tomorrow, because I love you so much little journal I have to leave you wanting more.

Any Farm in The Storm

Farms are a great place to hold up in a conflict.  By their nature they are normally self sustaining with barracides built up. Normally the residence is built in a higher position so you can watch over the fields better which provides good sightlines on armies or enemies. If the area is prone to bad weather their might even be a cellar to weather out these storms. Which made the unoccupied farm we settled in all the more stupifying how it had survived mostly untouched (aside from the wilting crops) without being occupied by a group of jerks.

Ruk was on edge the whole time, I couldn't really place why he was.  Well other than the fact we are in a land gone mad surrounded by flesh creatures and angry villagers who would just as soon lynch you as listen to you. Jules had to keep him calmed down, which was such a weird reversal of fortunes I myself had to wonder if when I got my magic back the entire world had reversed itself. I probably would have figured out what the actual issue is if the magic twins hadn't assailed me with questions about magic as soon as we were settled.

For their part Sara and Jara were pretty adept at what I could roughly call my "teaching" (again magic is all or nothing, you either have it or you don't, unlike necromancy, though again you have to have magic to be a necromancer).  Hundreds of years of experience can not simply be imparted, but I was able to explain more about the corruption and how to avoid over extending yourself (ironic right? me explaining about things I frequently do).  I guess in the lands of the east that magic is so feared/hated that the twins barely knew anything of the corruption (they had been told magic itself was the evil, not just the over use of it, technically I guess people are right saying its the magic, but whatever!)

So it was nice to impart some knowledge on them, one because its always great to share of yourself (hence this journal!) and two because it meant we were safer in our current location (thought its not like we were intending on staying there for like six months doing nothing but farming, because I have to say that would be boring as all get out, personally I'd skip those entries if we did that because there is no entertainment). Though it did take me out of the Ruk and Jules loop, which proved dangerous/almost deadly.  Its like I always say when I'm having fun, something awful is about to happen.

Oh Yeah Problems Don't Go away

No sooner had I dealt with the flesh creature and almost killed Ruk then those stupid villagers were back.  I swear they were waiting for us to be at a moment of vulnerability to assail us with their stupid stupidity (so stupid it gets called dumb twice). Despite me standing over a smoking corpse of the creature I'd just burned to death WITH MAGIC! They apparently thought now was a good time for round two.

"SEE THEY ARE WORKING WITH EVIL!" Faceless shouters trying to get a mob of people to murder people are always so logical. Ruk racked a round into his rifle but I held up a hand to tell him I'd handle it.  The mob was advancing on us, blood was dripping down my nose and my eyes were still watery from probably a broken nose, but I was as always still in control.

"Didn't I tell you assholes to leave already?" See completely in control.

"You called that beast and then made it dissappear you are working with the white witch!" So I wasn't the only one apparently aware of the white lady leading this merry band of flesh creatures.  Turns out most people knew about her, and it was shameful why, but thats later, right now I'm telling you how I got rid of a bunch of dicks who should know better than to mess with a pissed off injured Trezlan Lorentino!

I held my hand flat above my head by a couple inches (thankfully I was taller than everyone there, even though this was just for a visual effect, it worked better when it lined up).  I swung my hand from left to right and in doing so cut the tips off their pitchforks and torches (thankfully they were all using wood tools and thus it was easy to burn through them, if they had been metal? Well I'd probably have killed all of them to pull of a similar feat).  Seeing the heads of their farm equipment land next to them, they decided to flee again for the second time, and this time it was actually because of something I did.

"I didn't know you were a magic user Trezlan." Sara spoke now, Ruk was too busy keeping Jules calm.

"I wasn't when you met me, well I have been, but you know I'm not getting into this now, we have to get out of here before those idiots come back with guns." I put the twins on my horse and Jules and Ruk walked with me as we made a hasty retreat from the area.  Ruk at least knew of a place we could hold up for that wasn't too far from where we were at.  Surpingly it was an untouched farm house that almost looked like it would be normal if not for all the dead and dying fields around it.  Of course appearences can be decieving and tomorrow I'll tell you all about why this one was sadly as well.

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Burning Flesh

"Trezlan are you ok?" Ruk had called out to me as I stared down the huge flesh creature.  It looked like it was just a combination of a lot of different corpses merged together. Probably because thats exactly what it was, I would see some poor bastards heads made up the feet and I thought to myself that through all of my own personal suffering, I've never had to live on as somethings damn feet.

"Relative term Ruk, stay where you are." Relative of course, because I had my magic back and was wearing a semblance of clothes.  I also didn't have any other normal weaponry, and aside from trail rations hadn't eaten a real meal in a long time, so relatively I was Ok, about to get crushed to death by an arm made up of someones anus? Not so ok.  All relative.

Remember how in the distant past of yesterdays entry (I'll just leave those wistful memories to settle for a second) I mentioned I wanted to "flex" my magic muscle.  Yeah the part about that I forgot to mention is that magic like any thing you don't do for a long time can be a little hard to pick back up (like running, lifting weights, or being an asshole, ok maybe not so much that last one).  So if I had actually attempted that fire and brimstone bit on those villagers, I might have uhhh sputtered out pretty badly.  True I was able to burn some bindings and explode some bullets, but thats a lot easier in the spur of the moment. Trying to combat a mountain of bodies with an underused magical ability without the benefit of additional weaponry is never ever easy.

All of that to say when I "unleahed my fury" I sputtered a bit of flame that while making the creature smell like burnt human flesh (and by like I mean exactly).  The creature wasn't even phased by the attack (I know that if I personally got scorched by flame I'd be more than a little minorly perturbed), it lurched toward me and tried to splat me with an overhand crunch.  I dodged to the side and tried to get more flame going, again kind of struck out, more than the first time, but still not enough to faze the creature. The effort did make my eyes fuzzy so I didn't see the epic backhand that collided with my face and sent me into the dirt and pricker bushes (THOSE PRICKERS!!!!)

My nose was bloody, my eyes swimming from the blow and I was covered in scrapes from those bedamned prickers.  Oh yeah I was also about to become Trezlan paste.  The flesh monster despite being large and shaking the ground with each stomp was standing over me, both arms raised above its head.  I gathered my power trying once more to unleash the firey doom this beast needed.  I roared up to my feet swinging my right arm like it was a sword, on the end of my arm had formed a white hot flame that cleaved the creature in two.  Building off my rage and pain I brought my hand down like a hammer and the flame changed into a crushing force scoring and cratering the ground where the bodies were.

I was full of anger (because I'm normally so calm) that I didn't even notice Ruk was behind me, when he put his hand on my shoulder I spun around ready to burn the next creature into the next life. He recoiled though I don't think he realized how close he came to being a pile of burnt ashes.  "Are you ok Trezlan?"

"Like I said Ruk, its all relative."  And it was, like I'd just defeated a huge flesh monster, which was a plus.  I also announced to the white haired monster that I was not just some piddly easily dismissed firemancer, but something she would have to deal with in earnest, and that as you can assume was a very very bad thing.

Dickgotiations

Gunfire since its inception as a viable killing utensil is always unmistakeable.  The sound of bullets being fired is part of the allure of them as weapons.  Nothing scares someone more than the report of ballistic weaponry, well ok there are some things, but for most people not named Trezlan Lorentino, the sound of firearm going off is frightening. It is also an indicator for anyone else in a given area that there is a conflict nearby. Which can either be a good thing (help arrives) or a bad thing (bad things arrive alerted by conflict).

Since I was seeking Ruk and his crew when I heard what sounded like the report of a rifle I steered my horse towards it (also because I hadn't seen people or damn near anything for a couple days, so I was looking for the comfort of dealing with other people, yes I know I've said how much I hate dealing with people, look its a love hate relationship). The situation as I arrived at it looked pretty grim.

I could see what looked like Ruk's group (because of Jules, her clothing and demeanor was hard to miss) trapped at the top of a small open cliff.  Below them was what looked like some kind of mob, complete with torches and pitchforks. I didn't know much of these people from the east, but what I'd learned over my small time of being with them was enough to tell me they were all pretty much ass clowns.

"Don't come any closer!" Ruk fired a shot in the general direction of the mob. I could tell from the tone of his voice he was scared, it was the kind of high pitched wail you hear from the doomed.

"You all brought this on us, you will pay for what happened!" One of the townsfolk, I couldn't make out which one because mobs are full of cowards and most of the shouting comes from within (if they weren't cowards they wouldn't be in a mob threatening children).

"What's going on here?" I tried to sound commanding from my horse, I think it worked because the townsfolk turned to me with a bit of awe and fear (my prefered reaction).

"They are demon children, they brought the doom of the flesh upon us." A small child in the mob said this which made me feel sad for that childs future.

"WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" It was Jules screaming from their trapped position.

"No one calls this madness, what's wrong with all of you?" My guess, a lot.

"And who are you mister? Another one of THEM?" He said them like it was an actual group of things.  I dunno it was one of those moments where I had to try hard not to shake my head at the situation.

"I'm the man asking you a simple question and I expect a simple answer." I can put venom behind my words with the best of them. They did not respond to my venom well, I could see now they had all turned, pitchforks and torches at the ready.

"Looks like we have their ringleader boys!" That shout was followed up with a bunch of yeahs.  I knew I'd stepped in stupid (you can always tell because you think to yourself "if only these people weren't so damn stupid" as an explination for why something escalated).  I hopped down off my horse and got ready to flex my fire muscles (because exploding bullets earlier was just a simple exercise, I was ready for a little fire and damnation like something written in a holy book or two) when the idiots got scared and ran off.  I was actually feeling pretty strong at that point, like the simple act of me looking like I was about to bring down some pain was enough to scare off some dumb townsfolk, when I turned around to get back on my horse I saw the large creature staring at my back and knew I was not what they feared.  I also knew that as always things were about to get worse before they got better.

"Well Shit."

The Benefits of Horse Thievery

I've never really had a thing about stealing other peoples stuff.  Its sometimes out of necessity less actual want for theft, but I'll admit I've stolen more than a few things out of petty desires expressed inappropriately. Morality aside (my normal motto on everything), my particular theft of the hopefully dead brothers horse (hopefully dead because if he wasn't I'm sure he was sad to be without his horse) was really great for me. 

The horse itself was a nice change of pace from walking everywhere (screw you pricker bushes!) and it had supplies, most importantly a robe! True the robe didn't really fit me (too big, I don't know if it was meant to fit over the armor, or if the guy who had the horse before was just fat), but I stopped being so damn naked. The downside of the robe is now I looked like your stereotypical bad guy (riding a horse solo, dressed in a robe, dark sin, that last one is sadly perception and not reality alas).  So I took to riding at night to hopefully dissuade armed people from killing me (and thus play more into fears I am a bad guy, look sometimes I do the dumber option this should be apparent to you).

I didn't run across anymore flesh creatures, or people for quite a while.  It had me wondering if maybe the only people left were on the coasts and I was just wondering through deserts for nothing (sadly not the first time, though those stories have been lost to the sands of... BORING I'M NOT WRITING THEM DOWN!) Thankfully I did find people, unfortunately they were total dicks.  I swear thats all the lands of the east is made up of, bumpkins and jack asses.  Maybe I should write a history of the area and name it that... Anyway tomorrow as always I'll go into talking to more jerks, because thats all I ever do it seems, never nice people who only want to help.  Just dicks.

Firey Reemergence

The difference between myself and a real hero? Other than my stunning good looks, impeccable fashion sense, and outright modesty.  I seriously consider leaving people to horrible things everytime.  I don't neccessarily actually leave them to those fates, but I really really want to. I'm sure for a hero they never think about that, they have some heroic heroicness that says "NO YOU MUST SAVE EVERYONE!" where as the voice in my head is telling me I really should just leave these idiots to their fates, because they'd do the same to me if our positions were swapped.

All of this to say when I was free of my binding and walking towards Dezryan's frightened horse, I gave serious thought to leaving the slimy jerk to die. He also thought the same because I heard him cry out again, though that could have also been because a group of flesh creatures was approaching him, either way he was afraid he'd just freed me for me to run away.  I wasn't actually planning on that mind you, I'd thought about it, but that other part of my stupid head told me I had to save him, because of I dunno guilt? I don't understand my own crazy very often. I was planning on grabbing my pistols, not for their normal purpose (I had as always a crazy plan).

I didn't have a lot of time, the creatures which had been ignoring me prior to Dezryan calling out for me, had dispatched enough brothers to come kill the one lone naked necromancer reborn. This was about to be to their detriment. I snatched my revolvers from where Dezryan had been tauning them me with them and opened the breaches dumping the bullets in my hand (those of you with intelligence can probably guess what I did, and think at the same time "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?").  Now I knew those bullets had gotten wet and perhaps the blasting caps in the rounds were still too wet to fire normally, but if you apply a lot of heat like say fire... You have a much more likely chance of them firing, or at the very least igniting the powder and turning the bullets more into shrapnel.

I tossed my deadly package at the flesh creatures (which I'm sure were amused at the gesture at first) and then ignited the bullets.  Now I had intended on a small explosion, and then some loud bangs from the bullets going off.  What I got was a large explosion and deadly pieces of metal whipping by my damn head. I'd like to think it was because those bullets were ones my former slave masters had made themselves and perhaps packed incorrectly. All I know is that I had a pack of flesh creatures in front of me prior to the explosion, and a lot of dead flesh after it (and a cut right under my ear from something blowing by my head, so I almost killed myself AGAIN!). In the carnage a few brothers had survived and had freed Dezryan who immediately had his staff free and charged me, such is the thanks I normally get.

"I shall end you monster."

"Is that anyway to thank the person who saved your life? No I think what you and your brothers will do is leave this land with your tails between your legs." We were standing about a person's length apart, he had the blade staff free, and I personally knew he had some kind of wind/force magic.  But I had my necromancy and fire, and the pistols (which were empty, but they didn't know that).

"This isn't over." It was defiance but that of resigned defiance, the Brother with him knew they were beat, they had faced the evil and failed.

"Of course not, but your part is princess, don't worry as usual I'll fix the mess here and then we'll settle up back in Ronerawth," With magic returned so did my mouth, well more of my mouth. Dezryan was about to offer a rejoinder, but one of his fellows put a hand on his shoulder and they turned to the task of burying their dead (or what was left of them).

Now if I was smart I'd have left the lands of the east to whatever stupid disease had taken over and started to wipe them out.  But as I've said before I'm dumb as all get out with stuff like this and despite my best attempt to ignore it I felt sorry for poor Ruk and his fellow "heroes".  So I liberated one of the brothers horses (with so many dead it was a shame to just let them keep it!) and set out east deeper into the madness (the brothers had been laying waste to coastal areas, because even they knew that real problems were more inland).  And thus began another shameful chapter in Lorentino stupidity.  Like most things I should have just left awful enough alone!

Who Purges the Purgers?

"Someone figure out a way to open the damn gates." It was Brother Loud complaining on his horse, some of the other brothers were off their horses banging on the heavy wooden gate in anger.  I had to sit back and chuckle from my position.  All these idiots in their armor and not one of them thought to bring a battering ram or some kind of explosive? It was enough to remind me that, for all their horrible purging this group was really really dumbm (I mean they left me alive right? really dumb!). Dezryan got flustered on his horse that the Brothers were making no progress with the gate (and a sane person who'd seen earlier what happened when one of the things had gotten into a complex like this would realize that is not a great sign).  He hopped down from his horse and made his way to the gate.

"I wouldn't do that Dezryan." I was trying to be the voice of reason, but my words seem to just force him to keep going.  Its a shame no one listens to me, I mean if someone here knows about doing something really stupid, its me!  So he stomped toward the gate and I closed my eyes, I knew what was going to happen.  Like seeing a train crash in slow motion but be able to do nothing to stop it I watched as he approached the gate, gathered up power and then when he was about to release it, the gate burst open and the flesh creatures poured out in a flood.  Dezryan was pinned underneath the shattered remains of the heavy gate, the rest of the brothers caught off guard by the sudden arrival of their enemies and the sudden force of the gate exploding outward were swiftly fighting a losing battle.

For my part I was content that my prediction had come true (content it had come true, but also a bit terrified because it also meant I was still tied to a freaking horse surrounded by damn flesh creatures). I was also trying to pull at my binding like someone about to get slowly devoured by cannibal things (because I had no idea what they did with live once that didn't get converted, and I did not want to find out).  Amidst the chaos I could hear Dezryan calling out to me to help him.

"No." I shouted back, I tried to be heard over the chaos, because it wasn't like I was invisible or anything, if they were going to come eat me, they'd be there soon enough.

"Please!" I had saw that the part that had trapped him had also pinned his arms and apparently no one taught him magic is not hand motions and other such madness.

"What am I going to help you with, my sparkling personality?" I could see him looking within, some kind of judgement decision, and then I felt my power back.  It was like seeing after having been blind, with a simple thought the bindings on my wrists disappeared in ashes.

"Now help me!" Did I help him? Did I leave him to die as he would have me? Well you'll have to wait till tomorrow because I want to leave you in suspense! Well that and some ass just can't help but keep BANGING ON MY DAMN DOOR YOU STUPID JERK! Till tomorrow!