I Wasn't So Much Wrong As Not Right

"Don't come any closer." It seemed strange to say to me, since it was my office she was in. Like it was basically telling me to stay out of my own space, that's not fair at all.

"Ok Mrs Chance that's fine you stay where you're at." I was still afraid of the poison. I also assumed Mrs. Chance, I mean it could have been some other crazy lady in my office telling me to stay away, but that seemed unlikely for a few reasons.

"I've set up a barrier you cross it and you'll die worse than my husband." This again seemed rather unfair to me, it was my damn office, how dare she set up a barrier of sorts in my own office. I could see the blood on her arm so she at least knew hot to fake the necromantic magic if she hadn't actually done it.

"Can she do that?" Valerie had gotten behind me like a scared child, it was at this point I had to remind myself I'm the only person who is so casually involved with horrible things that it becomes routine.

"Possibly? Probably?"

"What are you two saying? You're not coming in here Lorentino!" I didn't even think we were whispering. The weird thing is, it looks like Mrs. Chance had been in my office for a bit, she'd riffled through all of my books which was bothersome. It was my stuff!

"I wasn't planning on it though I was wondering ever so briefly who you were spying for exactly?" That I mentioned spying made her go wide eyed, and then she slit her own throat in front of us. It was not an outcome I expected.

"Well shit." And just then it felt like I stepped in a big ole pile of it.

Ratcatching

"I don't understand why we left." I felt I had spent enough of my own journal in a morgue, any future morgue interactions will be annotated. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

"Because we were not there with any authority, the real authority was actually there, and we already got what we needed did we not?" I don't know why I justify myself to people, I mean they should just listen because I'm clearly right most of the time.

"Yeah but if I had more time with the body I might have been able to determine who killed him and not just what killed him." To catch you up to speed journal reader, the dead man was most likely dead because someone close to him was a spy (a spy for who is anyones guess, most governments now are all messed up two of them directly because of me! How nice) the group we had run into in the morgue were part of the Guards interior service designed to catch threats before they blow up the country (and what a bang up job they did recently with a war and all but I digress).

"Clearly it was his wife, that was who the guy was afraid of, we just have to figure out how she did it."

"And why would that matter?" We had gone back to my office for me to get my pistol (I had become very fearful of not being armed, so much for security Captain Dupont!)

"Because we might need to know the antidote if there is one for what she'll try and use on us."

"Wait why would she be trying to kill us?" Valerie and I were right outside of my office, I could see through the door, she could not.

"Because she's in my office right now."

"Oh." Well a woman was in my office, and I could only assume it was the dead man's wife because that's how convenient my life gets at times like this! And I was right, like most things I'm always right, don't even try and bring up the times I was wrong, because I was proven right later on!

Secretive Services

"I'm not believing you in this." The leader was doubtful of my explanation about what happened to my former not client. She was fairly attractive for secreting around in the night wearing her pajamas (and not like in the whorey way a lot of women do that exact kind of thing), her fellow pajama wearers had also taken their masks off, they were not as attractive nor female (I'm a sexist I admit).

"Look I wouldn't have melted his body in a morgue, I wouldn't have melted him at all." This is true. Valerie was still kind of afraid of these people so she wasn't saying anything.

"And your chemist here?"

"Witch."

"I'm a chemist Lorentino!"

"Witch." People have labels in my life, witches will always be witches, this whole "chemistry" thing is a passing fad.

"Whatever, how do we know you didn't bring her here to destroy the body?"

"Because if I was going to destroy the body I would have cremated it." I mean come on people I burn my food way too much, why wouldn't I scorch corpses? Answer? I wouldn't, if I wanted to hide my murders which I don't because why would I? Seriously I'm a mass mass murderer the only thing I hide is my necromancy and I'm not even good at that.

"This is true, sorry for doubting you Mr. Lorentino, though I'm still at odds as to what you are doing here." Its a bit weird to have people apologizing for not realizing the kind of murderer I am. Truly my life is one of sunshine and lollipops.

"Its more about keeping the local authorities off my back."

"I thought you said you were intrigued by what killed this man?" Valerie almost sounded sad in that statement.

"Well yeah, that and keeping Captain Dupont off my ass, I mean I just recently got out of the blame for one murder." Have I admitted I admit to way way too many things?

"Oh that won't be a problem Mr. Lorentino, we are the authorities." At least that explained how a bunch of people in their evening clothes snuck past the guard. He let them in (and to think I paid for that privilege almost made me want to demand my money back!) Thankfully with this admission Valerie and I got back on track, mostly. Look how on track do you think I ever get?

One Misunderstanding Deserves Another

"Wait we do not need to fight here." I believe I said a fight broke out, what I should have said was an argument because that's what happened. For once it wasn't me trying to claim we didn't have to throw down, though seeing as Valerie's idea of fighting was to cower behind one of the tables I really should have just put my hands up to start (yes I have magic but I've also been arrested within recent memory for killing a dude with it!)

"Sure fighting where the dead are seems like a little to on the nose." Besides died in a morgue seems ironic, or at the very least weird.

"Who are you, and who is your friend?" Valerie stayed down because she was smarter than I gave her credit for.

"Trezlan Lorentino, this is Valerie a local witch I hired to help me." At the mention of witch she shot up.

"I am not a witch despite what Lorentino would tell you, because he has to explain everything in the old fashioned terms he's accustomed to."

"That hurts Valerie."

"Lorentino, ahh we were informed of your presence, I apologize for our rudeness." The leader pajama person withdrew her mask and her compatriots did the same.

"And you are?"

"Members of the same group Mr. Chance was until his untimely death, we were here to claim the body." Another cult of warriors? I swear they spring up all over the world.

"Chance? Well I guess his luck ran out." I almost expected a laugh from someone, but no one gave me even a courtesy chuckle!

"Where is the body?" The leader seemed a little put upon by my presence.

"Funny story about that." And it was kind of a funny story and we all got a big laugh out of it, right after we almost killed each other again. I tell you no one reacts well to a liquified body.

Like I can Complain About Deceny

We had snuck into the morgue. I felt this was a new low for me, but that would be a complete lie as I have several lows and to find a new one would be actually pretty difficult (which is really sad to admit to I admit). Though I do have to point out they don't guard bodies well at all! Like seriously one guy who was easy to buy off (ok so not so much snuck as bribed, look details do not matter!) It makes me think should some unthinkable thing happen and I die, I want my body burned immediately gods know what horrible people would do to my handsomeness. Probably something unnatural. It did take us a bit to find the body, since I did not remember/know the mans name, though after looking through a bunch of lockers of the dead (which I admit was a lot better than when we used to just have them lying on tables in the open, the smell alone was punishing) we found what was left of the victim. I say what was left because the melting process that had taken his face off, had now gotten the rest of him he was now just a flesh stew. It was extremely disgusting.

"You found him like this?"

"Gods no, when I saw him before it was just his face mostly melted off." I'll admit that didn't sound as good in my head as when I said it in person. Valerie took some beakers of his remains and we were on our way out of the morgue when we got stopped. There were five of them, dressed up like they were going to a pajama party.

"Friends of your Lorentino?" There faces were obscured, but I could guess they were not my friends.

"No my friends have a better sense of fashion." And then the battle was joined. I'd like to think it was because I insulted their sense of style, but in reality it was probably because they were there to kill me anyway. Probably, you never know maybe they worked really hard on those outfits!

Not The Best Lab Assistant

"Do you feel anything?" The love potion tasted as awful as it had smelled, which is saying something because it smelled pretty gods damnedly awful.

"Yes, pity." Valerie snarled and took the flask away from me. I was just being honest!

"You are terrible."

"I said I'd help, I did not say I'd do a good job of helping." In my defense (as always) I did tell her it was impossible to make a real functional love potion.

"Maybe I should do the same for your little vile of blood and not figure out what killed your jilted husband."

"He wasn't jilted, he was just worried his wife was trying to kill him, and I don't know you very well Valerie, but I can see the light in your eyes, you want to figure out what killed that guy as much as I do." I didn't exactly know that, as I couldn't see anything very well (a side effect of the love potion, which might have meant it was working, I mean love is blind right?)

"You're right, even though you're a dick, the mystery is interesting, but this blood sample is not enough, I'll need to test the body." I shook my head and it looked like she did not understand it.

"Not possible, or probable I don't think, pretty sure the guard won't let me anywhere near the body again." Dupont was abhorred when I took a blood sample, I couldn't imagine he'd let Valerie use her little chemicals on the full body. Also there was the fact I was going blind, that definitely seemed to make it difficult to get back to the body.

"Well it better become possible if you want to solve this, come on Mr. Lorentino I might have an in."

"You'll have to grab my hand."

"Why is the potion working and you feel something for me?"

"No I've lost my sight, but if this persists I will definitely feel something for you Valerie." Not love of course, though being blind would have been an interesting life decision for me as someone who has seen so many horrible things. Thankfully it did not last, well obviously it didn't I'm still doing journal entries with a minimal amount of spelling errors!

Bewitching Chemistry

"Most people knock." I had barged in because that's how I do.

"I know and that makes them idiots, when you knock you give the other person a chance to say you can't come in, and frankly I didn't want to give you that kind of chance." It was her fault really she shouldn't have left her door unlocked. Inside her apartment/workshop I could see all kinds of bubbling fluids and beakers, in the years since I'd dealt with a witch (nay centuries) they had radically changed the way they did things.

"You're correct Mr. Lorentino I would not have allowed you in and I'd like for you to leave!" Valerie Stutts also wasn't the traditional witch, gone was the all the usual horrors of uglyness for a witch, she was decently attractive about average weight, her only real problem was her stringy red hair and the acne (the acne was what got her into witchcraft in the first place, sadly she had found no cure for it).

"I'd like for myself to leave as well Valerie, but I need your help please I'm begging you here."

"Begging will get you nowhere." The room smelled awful, I could see she was hard at work trying to do something, now I've never been much of a potion kind of person since I do all my work with real magic (in your face functional yet harder to do magical stuff!) but I did generally know what goes into what by smell (a side effect of avoiding being poisoned for all the centuries, you want to find out what poisons smell like) this wasn't a poison, but the herbs were very distinct. Distinct enough for me to generally know what she was trying to brew

"Well begging with cash in hand, so kind of like begging for you to take my money."

"I'm busy Mr. Lorentino, as most chemists are, something I believe I told you the last time you barged in here."

"You did, but I didn't listen than either Valerie, besides love potions never ever work, they haven't worked for hundreds of years they won't work now." She went bright red at the mention of a love potion.

"You don't know that, they haven't worked before because they didn't have me doing it!" They don't work by the way because there is nothing in nature that can make someone love you, well aside from precious metals and gems, but that's not so much love as lust for your money.

"Tell you what, you help me with my problem, and I'll help you with your love potion, even," I sighed because I knew how terrible these things generally tasted, "Even let you try it out on me."

"Done you can't back out now, you gave your word." People are so funny when they think ones word means anything, especially mine! But a deal was a deal.

"Ok now that we've got that out of the way I need you to help me to find out what killed this guy."

"What? You want me to help you solve a murder?"

"You say that like its impossible."

"You didn't kill him did you?"

"Valerie why would I seek your help in finding out what killed someone if I did it?"

"Because you're insane?" And this was the start of a beautiful working relationship. Not really.

Probably Not Magic, Probably

His body was in the door way, it looked like he was trying to cross the threshold and failing, part of his skin had melted off and puddled underneath the body, one arm was outstretched trying to grab someone? Something? The guard had at least sectioned off the hallway from the onlookers, it at least kept the death scene preserved as morbid as that sounds. Other than his face melting off he looked okish, but I'm sure that the whole facing melting off thing was a deal breaker for the dead man.

"Was it magic?

"Only if the wife's maiden name was Morley."

"What?" I said that under my breath, I had partially forgotten that Morley had become an arms dealer himself, and thus a respectable businessman (because who is more respected than the man who makes your bullets?)

"No I don't think this was magic, this looks more like a poison." I actually had no idea, I mean there wasn't a magical residue here, but this could have just as easily been any number of necromancies that don't leave one (because necromancy uses your life force against you to kill you, so the only power that remains is that which animated you in the first place, normally, there are ways to use necromancy that leaves a very distinct mark, but that was also missing).

"Well we're looking for the wife, but she's missing, you were my only other suspect, but talking with people in the neighborhood and your office, they haven't seen you anywhere near the victim except when he apparently asked for help." It was nice prior to him asking me if I killed this guy he had already made sure I didn't.

"So I'm free to go?"

"Yeah don't go far though, I still haven't exactly written you off here." Because Dupont doesn't understand magic he fears it, but I understand magic and so I knew I needed another more informed opinion. That of a witch, because if someone knows the cross over between magic and poison it would be a witch. And thankfully there was a witch in town.

Me A Common Murderer?

Dupont entered by himself he looked around my office with a mix of interest and boredom. I swear the caption of the guard always seemed preoccupied even when he was involved in a case he seemed like he would rather be doing something else, probably because he did. I made a note to find out what hobbies Dupont had, so far I have no discovered anything about the man, I'm terrible at following up on notes. I could see there were other guard members by the door, but perhaps out of respect for the limited size of my office they had been left outside.

"Did you kill him Trezlan?" He had waited a bit to ask this and I was a bit of a loss for words.

"You'll have to be more specific than that." Ok not so much a loss for words as searching for the context in which the question was being asked because got to be honest. Killed a lot of people journal, lot of people, some of them not even in these pages (rest in peace mail carrier possessed by dog spirit).

"There was a man who came to see you recently, I was told he visited you a couple times." I was about to offer a smart ass comment (because reasons) when I remembered the husband who thought his wife was trying to poison him.

"Oh the guy who thought his wife was using magic against him, yeah he was in yesterday, crap did he die?" I admit perhaps crap did he die is not the best defense in the entire world.

"Can you come with us Trezlan?"

"Is this an order or a request?"

"Its a request, but I can make an order if you persist." Not wanting to be on the wrong side of the law again I decided to follow his request. That and I really wanted to see what happened to this idiot. I mean it could have been magic, but I hadn't felt any when he had visited me the two times I had seen him. And so I went with the guard to the scene of a murder they suspected me of committing. Which is completely silly, normally when I kill someone I leave town. Err crap that doesn't sound good either, nevermind nevermind!

Maybe, Maybe I Should Have Just Been a Baker

"You said you help people!" My office was just a desk with some bookshelves (hilariously it looked more like the offices of lawyers) I didn't have my full agency name stenciled on the door because it didn't fit and it cost too much (look I have money but I'm not an idiot! Mostly) so instead it was just stenciled Lorentino. I didn't even have a window, but the office space was cheap and I still got a decent amount of foot traffic considering what I did while legal was just barely legal.

"Yes I help people when they are actually being afflicted by the magical, you just have a wife you don't like completely different affliction, lawyers are down the hall take a right." I give this instruction more often than not to tell you the truth, its kind of sad how many spurned spouses think because they go limp that magic is involved. Your dick doesn't work because the gods don't want it to to work you aholes!

"She's trying to kill me Mr. Lorentino don't you see that?" It would seem strange to turn down easy money like this you'll think, but its not easy money, and he wasn't dealing with any kind of magical situation. See I'm a problem solver, but I don't solve peoples marital issues, if there is one thing I've learned in hundreds of years, married people are to be avoided like well married people.

"Out, get out of my office before I show you what a real magical affliction is!" He left and I sat back in my chair satisfied I'd chased someone else out of my office (which again was common, maybe I shouldn't have opened up a business to specifically help people when I hate people? Nah that couldn't be it). It was nice and quiet for a time, well aside from all the sobbing I'd hear in the hallways (seriously I had no idea being next to lawyers would involve this much crying!) Seeing as I had some free time on my hands I went to sleep and hoped the next person to enter my office had a real problem.

And they did! Unfortunately it was the local Police captain, and well it wasn't like I couldn't have seen what was coming, but I didn't and so I had my next run in with the law!

Ronerawth Wrap Up Part 9

They wouldn't let me be emperor. Sure the people would have never gone for it, and I'm far to awesome to be tied down with ruling order, but the very fact they said I couldn't just made me want it all the more. Instead I was given some coins, a couple weird items the new ruling family did not want (because they were associated with the creature from beyond) and told not to come back. Which seemed completely unfair considering I saved all their stupid magic addicted asses from damnation and destruction! I tell you its like people think just because you single handidly destroyed a creature of immeasurable power you are some kind of danger to society!

Anyway Erchus was ok and went back to his life of fishing, which seemed like a downgrade to be honest (seriously buddy fishing? so sad). Mordere blamed me for her getting taken, though she had gotten free shortly after arriving in the other dimension, I guess she was planning on killing a whole lot of people right before I knocked us all back into the proper dimension (or so she claimed, I mean lets be honest I make the same claim all the damn time... and its uhh completely true when I do it!) She left to be with her dad in his final months (yes he died in his sleep, which seemed unfair considering how many people he killed on the way to dying in his sleep!)

For me I decided I was done selling things for a time, but I still wanted to help people (help of course being a matter of opinion) and so I opened up an agency for dealing with the magical (all totally legal I checked, mostly). And so that's where the next entry will start off, The Trezlan Lorentino Dark Arts Protection Agency! Or TLDAPA (someone rudely told me this could be used as an acronym for Too long Didn't Actually Protect Anything, which is insulting! And not at all true I promise!)

The One Magic You Can't Stop

"COME TO ME MY CHILDREN!" The creature was one that was hard to describe so I won't, just know it was big, ugly, and had a voice that was both booming and howling. The royal family of Ronerawth who were guarding me all marched forward to their doom. It was pretty damned obvious the creature was evil (hello it was trapped in a dimension guarded by monsters devoid of magic, whoever trapped this thing obviously didn't want it getting out). It of course drained the life of these moronic followers (sucked it right out of them, the sound was like when you are trying to drink the rest of a something out of a glass with a straw, exactly like that). Just because magic wasn't completely allowed in this realm, didn't mean I couldn't feel it when it was used like this creature did. The monsters who had held back kept holding back, I though  should have been pissing my pants in terror had a small smile on my face.

"TREZLAN COME TO YOUR FATHER!" Why creatures all think they're my daddy either says bad things about my mother or just that its universal things think telling you they are your father will disturb you.

"Yeah about that, no." I didn't want to get close to the creature, I didn't want to get any closer than I was.

"BRING HIM TO ME!" The monsters obeyed (if they were jailers why would they help free the creature? I swear this dimension nonesense made no sense!) I still bleeding from the wound on my hand tossed it on the first creature that came to get me and uttered a curse and took its life, that kept the other creatures back, at least for the time being. As I've said blood magic generally works everywhere (I didn't try it in the lands of the west because I didn't really have time, but I'm sure it would have worked) since the medium for the magic is your own blood, and since my blood was seemingly a catalyst in this horrible place it seemed more potent than ever.

"Look I said no and I'm pretty sure you should have listened." The Creature came forward and then ran into one of the walls I'd constructed (crazily enough using a necromancers blood for your ritual to reawake your master? Bad idea because while they were doing their ritual I was doing my own!).

"WHAT IS THIS?"

"Your doom, you should have just kept in your little hole in the ground, that was at least keeping you alive, now? Now you have run across the real power in this world. Trezlan Gods Damned Lorentino!" The blood ritual was fairly simple, much like the blood trap employed years ago against Morley. The creature was no smarter than that necromancer had been and attempted to cross my wall, it ripped itself apart in the process (again no real description, but I'll say this, I stunk for like two weeks straight). As soon as the stinking corpse hit the ground I was back in the real world as well as everyone else who had been in that weird dimension. The monsters thankfully were not. And everyone was so thankful they promptly threw me out of Ronerawth again, the stupid jerks!

Blood Lines

"You see it was all the potency in your blood that lead us here and to try and find our master." I think I came in where I left off, mostly. "And now that you are here our hunt for him can continue, aided of course by you."

"Right of course I'd love to help soon as you unshackle me we'll get right on finding that master of yours." I had no intention of helping naturally. Nor did I know who their master could be, not even like a small guess. I mean sure my blood is probably a buffet of energy and horrible the result of years of taking others lives, but its not like I catalogued down every creature I'd ever killed or anything (this journal is at best a summation!) He of course laughed at my suggestion of helping because he didn't mean it like me actually providing expertise. No no he meant me bleeding, which made more sense and yet still managed to make me sad.

Turns out in the distant past one of the gods I killed (yes you read that right I'm amazing thank you) apparently sealed some other horrible beasty in the dimension I was currently an occupant of. The morons now serving this dark master somehow contacted it using my blood as a conduit, they were apparently planning on coming and getting me prior to my escape from Ronerawth originally. Me arriving again to be captured by their minions was just random good luck (why were there no people out of the dimension? idiotic magic use plummeted their entire region into the portal, only living creatures though, its also why there weren't any fish). Well good luck for them, crappy luck for me.

I was taken from the torture room to another place where I was bathed (which felt nice if not for that whole about to be sacrificed aspect of it), and then fed. Well fed would imply I wanted to eat what they were serving, but I didn't get much of a choice in the matter. It wasn't exactly cannibalism, but it was close (I'll leave that up to your imagination). After all that I was taken to the hole where my fellow slaves had been digging. The slaves were gone, all the freaky creatures were there as well as members of the Ronerawth Royals like the man who had met me in the torture chamber. I was carried around the pit, and at key points a man said some words and pricked me with a knife to leave some of my blood, it was rather disorienting to be carried around and repeatedly stabbed.

"And now my lord COME FORTH!" And with that, things got a lot worse, in a real big hurry.

Chain Ganging

"What are we digging this crap for?" I was swinging a pick axe, the guy to my right had a shovel, and the guy to my left was sorting through what I pick axed up. I waited a week to ask because well I'm not rude and I wanted to get to know my coworkers!

"Shut up they beat those who talk." I had not seen this, but I had not heard people talking, the one who responded was the guy on my left, I'll call him lefty.

"That seems rude, I mean we're already chained up and forced to dig, why not let us talk?" I was promptly picked up by a creature with goat legs (he unhooked me first in case that wasn't obvious). He drug me down to a room full of torture devices and sat down and told to wait (like I had an option since I was chained down). I waited, the torture implements were scary, but you know I've done this dance before you can't scare me (well you can but that usually involves genital torture and most people are too squeamish for that, shit I just screwed myself in the future haven't I?) As is usual for these kind of things my torturer took a minute to get there, because that's also an expected type of thing with this stuff. I was surprised when he eventually arrived he was a human and not some weird monster.

"Mr. Lorentino." I didn't look up, I'm a big fan of not showing your hand in an interrogation and them knowing who I really was didn't come as a huge surprise.

"I don't know who that is, I'm Nidget Pavarossi." It pained me to claim to be Nidget, pained me.

"No you aren't Lorentino, we know who you are, we know what you are." I hate when people know something I don't, because it puts me at a disadvantage.

"A guy digging in a hole he doesn't understand?" It seemed like a good description of what was going on. My interrogator was dressed in a bunch of gold jewelry if I wasn't in this weird dimension I'd have assumed he was a member of the Ronerawth royalty.

"Oh Mr. Lorentino you sell yourself short." I totally do, I mean other than pretending to be a shorty, I consistently self myself as a lesser person! "In fact if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be in this wonderful world we exist, you gave this to us with your contributions to the cause, and now that you have been returned to us you're going to give us the piece we really need." I do admit this bit terrified me, for a number or things, but mostly that I somehow opened a dimension full of monsters. Because I have to admit even in my most awful I didn't think that was something I'd do, but you know it doesn't surprise me that much.

Even Evil Jerks Have Policies

Erchus and I were separated. He was sent where the put people who got kicked out of orders of healers, I was sent to where they put people who are too awesome (obviously that's why they removed us, my awesomness). I didn't really know much about where we ended up. I could tell it was almost like where we'd been, building and everything, but everything seemed warped. Like the building's were slightly frayed, the sky was a weird purplish green and all the people not currently locked up or being moved around, were some form of horrific monster (one has to wonder if in their dimension people were the real monsters... nope still them with their horrible monsterness). Magic also didn't work because of course it didn't. Stupid monster land!

"Name?" I was suddenly reminded of my time in The Guard's land of processing. Sure there I was at a desk, and here I was in a chain gang with other people who looked like life had been drained out of them, but still similarities!

"I don't believe in names sir, I believe that names make you a prisoner." The creature asking for my name was ugly. Half my height, triple my weight, and all ass for a face, I hoped he was an outlier and not a prime example of whatever monster creature made up his race.

"Seriously you're going to do this to me today?" It was not what I expected, like I expected him to yell out to one of things holding us prisoner and that thing would beat me, but his complaint was more of making his job harder and not out of some malice.

"You really expect me to make this easier for you? You understand I'm shackled to the person in front and behind me and they both smell like day old garbage right?" Neither the person in front or behind me disputed this.

"I see your point buddy, but I'm just a worker bee not the queen, I can't make things easier for you, I just take the names down and you move on down the chain."

"Fine fine, mark down Nidget Pavarossi." He noted it and I moved on in my chain. It pained me to claim to be Nidget, but I wasn't exactly going to say who I really was, last time I was in prison in Ronerawth (god thats a sad thing to say) I was there for sixty freaking years! Eventually my chain group got pushed from our processing point to hard labor (they were really efficient in that regard). Hard labor in this case meant mining, I couldn't tell what we were digging for, but I could see the mining pits were huge. Like I didn't know anything about this dimension, but whatever we were trying to unearth had to have been really really deep in the ground.

And so it went for about a week, I'd get up early in the morning (well what I assumed morning) and then dig all day and then bed down with the rest of the slave labor at night. It was physically exhausting but man alive did my arms get big. I tell you chain gang digging can really muscle you up, should you get the chance I really recommend it.

Also short note from last entry, apparently modern cars are highly explosive when set on fire, I know I would never have imagined that to be the case. Till the next entry!

The World Behind the World

The worst part about jumping between dimensions (other than that being a thing that happens obviously) is not knowing where you'll end up. I mean sure the creatures existed in our realm so its safe to say where they come from is not like a huge fire pit full of lava and burning, but you don't know that! In all honesty it was stupid as all get out for me to just leap into the portal, but as I've shown repeatedly that's kind of my thing to be dumb. So we lept into a different dimension and ended up in a cell with a bunch of other sad sack looking people. I've mentioned I'm stupid, this one was one of my stupider moments. I mean its not roasting alive or anything, but it certainly sucked.

Sorry another short entry my journal writing this on a back of a piece of paper as I'm being chased by the guys from the explosive deal, apparently them blowing up in their face kind of seen as a bigger deal than what I anticipated. Yeah I know what pricks.

Dimensional Difficulties

"Well it wasn't so much an order it was more a loose collaboration of people who believed in the same things working towards a similar goal." The creatures were like a mix between shorties and my nightmares (so basically shorties). Not very hard to kill, but numerous, thankfully they were not immune to magic like the armed creature had been.

"So how can you get kicked out of a loose collaboration? That's like getting kicked out of a hobby." Erchus was smashing I was burning, and the creatures were dying, it was like a nice light work out, hard enough you knew you were doing something, but easy enough that you didn't feel like you were in danger. What I'm saying is these little shorty bastards were the perfect enemy and I would kill them again!

"Well there were rules."

"Doesn't sound like a loose collaboration, rules definitely points to organization." The creatures had appeared out of nowhere, and by now I knew that meant they were coming from some place we couldn't see, possibly another dimension, possibly (look I don't understand the way the world normally works, dimensional stuff is a whole other bag of weirdness that I won't delve too deep into).

"You'll just have to take my word for it Trezlan." He crunched one of the weirdo shorties and it sadly kept walking though it was clearly dead. With their numbers dwindled and clearly not able to take us the rest of the creatures attempted to flee into some kind of rift they opened up. Because I'm an idiot I grabbed Erchus by the arm and lept for the rift (because for some stupid reason I didn't take winning a battle as an overall victory and leave it at that, no I had to figure out what was going on because again I'm an idiot). We actually made it through the rift and I really wished we hadn't, but that will be next entry naturally.

Also that explosives deal went off with a bang, I mean that literally the explosive blew up, it was ok though I got paid. So really ok for me and since that's the only person I care about, its totally all good.

No Time To Be Paraylsed

"So what was your order that kicked you out?" I had shrugged off the poison and moved on with life. I wanted to say it was an innate ability of mind that I always have had but never told you about (because that sounds awesome) but in all likelyhood no paralysis works forever (aside from back injuries) and so with time on my side I just waited it out and it went away (kind of like annoying people and death if I wait long enough they die). Erchus seemed surprised so apparently his statements about being a bad healer were more than just idle chit chat.

"How did you recover?"

"I've been poisoned so much over my life Erchus I've developed an innate healing ability to cancel them." I told you I wouldn't lie to you, I did not tell you I didn't lie to Erchus. He seemed pretty impressed with me and he would have continued to be impressed if not for a bunch of creepy creatures equally emerging to attack us, because thats how my life goes, all the time in the world to hear about someone elses fairly boring life, no time of my own to be awesome. And speaking of that I have to go, got a big business deal over some explosives I don't want literally exploding into my face. I'll write more tomorrow I swear, or not, you know me I'm a dick.

One Sided Conversationalist

"You're not one for talking Trezlan." Erchus has set up a small fire near the remains of the car, he hadn't moved me, I was currently paralyzed and chilled, he's found a blanket from a nearby building and put it over me, it didn't feel like it was working, but I couldn't really tell him that. Erchus had built the fire I assumed to also keep me warm and it wasn't doing much either.

"It's ok I'm not really a conversation person either, fishing is lonely work most of the time and people are always scared to talk out of fear of scaring the fish, I don't think they have ears though and they are in water, so its not like they can hear us when we talk anyway." He stirred the fire and I looked on unable to say anything, "If I was a better healer I could help you, but I'm a terrible healer, its why I got kicked out of the order in the first place, I mean sure I fished a lot but its not like that was the problem, no it was that whole cure the sick thing that they were concerned I couldn't do, which is total bullshit modern medicine can do so much than using life force to heal! I don't understand why it was so important to be able to heal!" Its interesting when you are a silent observer to someone else just talking, I'm sure plenty of people have thought the same with me, but this was a new moment for me so I was just watching in a weird sense of awe over what was going on.

"I did learn to swing the hammer though, that's got count for something right? I know you can't say anything but I have skill here, its not healing skill, but being able to swing a hammer like this has got to count with the Gods for something?" I could hear a sound in his voice like sadness I got the distinct impression he thought I was dying, which while sweet scared me because it meant if my paralysis didn't wear off soon he might have decided to do something humane with his huge hammer. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this, its not like you can respond or help me, I guess I've just been running from it this whole time and why I fish all the time, its easier than confronting my failings, I mean I didn't even come to this country to fish, I came to help the people here and then when I found no people here I decided I'd fish instead, because why not right?" He chuckled to himself.

"Ahh gods Trezlan I'm as confused as you are by whats going on here is what I'm getting at, I can't help these people anymore than you can, and now with that creature emerging and trying to kill us or capture us or whatever I'm even more confused. Well this has been healthy but if its all right for you I'm going to get to sleep Trezlan I hope you feel better in the morning or... " He left it at that, but I knew what the or meant, or he'd kill me. Though I was not really comforted by him going to sleep because I also knew that the creature with its long arm and paralysis had intended on capturing us not killing us, but it was probably not the creature who did the capturing, and those ones were still out there, waiting, and watching, and I couldn't move at all. So it wasn't exactly a "sleep tight" situation let me tell you.

One Long Arm, One Big Problem

"Where's your weapon?" Erchus had retrieved his hammer from the broken car. The monster had taken a couple clubbing swings with his arm but they had been mostly unsuccessful (I say mostly because he did destroy the crap out of the car).

"I am my weapon." The creature coiled back its arm to launch it again and I unleashed my magical rage, which it promptly ate. I don't mean it disappeared or something, I saw the mouth on its chest open up and swallow my magic. Which is never a good thing.

"I hope you have a plan B!" Erchus pulled back his hammer and charged at the creature. For a fisherman he sure swung that hammer with authority. The blow connected just above the weak arm (its left arm) and I swear I heard a crack but the creature swung around and slammed Erchus and he went flying. I heard him land with a crash and a groan and then it turned toward me. Ordinarily this would be when I used magic, or said a line, or fired a pistol or something. But my magic was useless, I didn't have a pistol, and I remembered the exact place I'd left my sword and was all the sadder for knowing it (you ever forget something you'd really need and then remember exactly where it is when you need it? That's what happened with me and the sword). I feel stupid now, but all I did was stand there frozen in place.

It happens sometimes, you're placed in imminent danger, and yet you can't get your body to move. You can't bring yourself to do anything, because your brain has decided its going to die and do nothing until that happens. So you look like a damned idiot standing there awaiting death like I did with a huge clawed assailant about ready to gore me. I was actually saved by my cowardice, I fainted. Seeing death coming as I did I just passed out. The creature's arm shot past me and collided with the ground and Erchus who has regained his composure attacked with savagery.

Like I started to doubt his claims of being a fisherman with how he swung his hammer, first he attacked the creature's knee, and brought it to the ground. And then once it was on the ground he smashed again and again on the creature until its guts and blood were smeared all over the landscape. He tried to talk to me, but I was out of it, too afraid to move, or so I thought. Funny thing I thought I was a coward, but it turned out the creature had a bit of a paralytic in its arm and I'd unknowingly stepped into it, when my legs gave out it saved me from my fate.

So all that talk about people too afraid to move? That was just for other lesser people, me I was paralyzed! Unfortunately for me it was a long term poison, which mean I was left up to the care of Erchus, and he was terrible just terrible. But that's the next entry you knew that already.

Erchus Master Fisherman

"So who are you anyway?" We had been walking back to Carlina's car, I figured it was better than walking and my companion had agreed since he was tired of walking. The hammer he was carrying looked pretty heavy, probably more so because he carried the hammer in one hand and his fishing gear in the other, which if there were people around would have probably drawn a crowd.

"I am the greatest fisherman who has ever or will ever live, my goal in life is to catch every fish in this entire world."

"A name would have done."

"Oh, Erchus." We arrived at the car and he loaded his hammer into the back seat. I was about to get into the driver seat and give this mechanical beast a go when a creature with a ridiculously long arm smashed the car. The creature which had appeared from no where, was about twice the size of a normal person. The arm he crushed the car with was a combination of suckers like on an octopus (see I know sea creatures!) and claws, two big ugly looking claws. Its other arm as if to balance out its gigantic one was very tiny and sickly looking. Where a head would traditionally be was just one huge bulging eye, on its chest was the mouth full of nasty teeth.

"What in the gods is that?" The creature had pulled back its freaky arm and was appraising both me and Erchus.

"I was hoping you'd be able to tell me Trezlan, you are the one who claims to be very old." I admit I had been hoisted on my own petard here. I was about to try and offer a retort when the creature again swung his arm at us and thinks went a little crazy as they kind of do in a combat situation. I'll get into that next entry though, because I like to draw things out if you haven't noticed.

Annoyance The Catalyst to Help

"What you are doing does not make any sense?" Because the fisherman had not acted to help me yet I decided to try my next tactic, annoyance. Its the most useful thing to get people to help you, make them so bothered by things they can't ignore you any longer. Yes I realize people do this to me too and I complain about it, but I'm a hypocrite its what I do.

"Right you know how to fish and what I'm doing is not proper because your suddenly an expert." He said this dryly I assumed sarcasm.

"I've been around, you're using these plastic things! That's not going to catch a fish, you need live bait, that's what fish eat!" I'll admit he was completely right I had no idea how to fish, as a young man many centuries ago I tried fishing, I didn't catch shit and it's colored my belief in fishing ever since.

"They're called lures, live bait is unnecessary, how long has it been since you fished?"

"At least several hundred years." He shot a look at me and I smiled in return, his look was one of bewilderment.

"What are you mister?"

"Lost in a strange place looking for a hand, can you be that hand?" He sighed and put down his fishing pole and took up his hammer.

"Well since you won't leave me alone I guess I might as well, fish aren't biting anyway." Because they were gone as well, we didn't know that at the time, but every living thing in the area was gone. All gone. And that was just the start of the problem.