We're Doing What Now?

I had been loaded onto an airship with a squad of tough looking guys (all unclean shaven, muscely, grunty) given a backpack, a pistol with some magazines (kept in a shoulder clutch now, I guess draw holsters had gone out of style?) and a change of clothes (my prison greys just didn't fit with this set) I also shaved because I'm not a mongrel unlike these soldiers so I looked more presentable. The leader of the group was talking in front, but I wasn't really paying attention because I never generally do. The man next to me who had a bunch of tattoos and arms bigger than my legs looked me over.

"What are you here for?"

"I was told I'm here to provide expertise." Shadelia had told me that I had expert knowledge of the enemy, which was a complete lie I hadn't dealt with them in sixty plus years, but you know she got me out of prison so this was the least I could do.

"You dealt with these guys before?" His name because it becomes important later instead of me just calling him Muscles was Slats, I don't know if that was a nick name, or first name or whatever, he just went by slats.

"Like sixty years ago." He pulled back to look me over again.

"Damn grandpa you look good for eighty."

"More like great by a lot grandpa, but thank you I do appreciate the compliment." Slats was holding a rather large looking rifle of some sort, it was belt fed and I could see the bullets draped around his body, he also had on the same backpack as I did.

"So where did they drag you out of?"

"Prison."

"Wow no shit? What did you do?"

"Countless things, but this one was for being in the wrong place at the wrong time." Slats nodded.

"Yeah I did a stint in the brig for breaking and officers nose, so is it true what they say about prison?"

"Is what true?"

"You know with all the man on man time in there, men get lonely." I knew what he was getting at.

"Completely a myth in all my time in prison I've never been sexually assaulted or propositioned."

"Maybe they just don't think you are good looking enough."

"Preposterous." He nodded and went back to listening to his superior who was going over some plan of attack I couldn't make heads or tails on. I also didn't know why we were taking an airship to our target area as we weren't making a trek to the lands of the west, instead we were assaulting the coast where the westerners had made land fall and attacked, we could have just taken a truck but apparently that was a bad idea. I guess if I listened to the commander I would have known why, but why would I ever do something silly like that? I actually got some comfortable huddled between two massive dudes I fell asleep, I was only awakened when I was rudely ejected from my airship. I know I thought it was very impolite as well!

And Now I'm Good, So Lets Go To War

"Do you want me to remove those shackles?" Shadelia had gone through all of things that had changed (weapons used magazines which held ammunition and were easier to reload than the old cylinder one at a time, also they were dual action, which meant firing was all in a trigger pull not in the hammer, moving vehicles were called cars and trucks based on the rear end it appeared and they ran on natural fuels mostly, oh and Morley ran a damn company now too though he much like Hanlon has been nowhere to be seen), when she was done I felt very very old.

"Oh these right sorry." I took off the shackles with a bit of a flex of my wrists.

"You could have done that the whole time?"

"Well I have been wearing them for a long time Shadelia, and before you ask why I didn't escape I had no where to go and no knowledge of how to get there, part of being a necromancer is knowing I can play the long game, and I did mostly." I didn't tell her of course prior to my rescue I had been wrestling with deciding to kill my jailer and escape for days, but that was also because I hadn't seen the old bastard for a few days and as much as I don't normally need to eat I do get hungry after three days. She simply smiled and then reached behind her desk to retrieve my sword. I'd left it behind at my shop years previous and frankly it was surprising it didn't get melted down or stolen along the way.

"I believe you'll probably need this even though most people don't use words for anything but letter opening."

"Well I'm a bit old fashioned I always used fire for letter opening."

"Doesn't that destroy the letter?"

"Yes, yes it does." Now everyone who wrote me now knows why I never write back!

"I also have a bunch of your journals in which you admit to crimes beyond mention, Mr. Lorentino in the future I'd not write down those."

"If I don't I might forget."

"Well at the very least you might want to use a type writer, for legibility, your handwriting is a mixture between illegible and badly spelled."

"It only looks badly spelt!" No its actually badly spelt, look at how I spell definitely most of the time, I add an a, I also do that vocally in case you wanted to know where the glitch occurs.

"Well now that you are sorted."

"Right right I have to go to war my favorite part of coming back."

"And welcome back Mr. Lorentino." And with that I set out on war, because of course I did, I swear its like I worship the fire god without even knowing it.

Shadelia Lorentino, The Nicest Mass Murderer Ever

"Sit down Trezlan." Her office was sparse though I could see she had paintings up, one of Hanlon that had an "Our founder" nameplate, which wasn't entirely accurate from what I knew of the company, but honestly the Hanlon arms that exists now hardly bears any resemblance to the company the old man I ran into hundreds of years ago ran. The chair was nice though, comfy cushions hard backed, from my time in prison and the airship this was a creature comfort I missed.

"Are we actually related?" It was the question that kept hitting in my head, I didn't recall being with a woman who could have borne a child, but its not impossible I mean I do have a lot of lost time incidents.

"No, my people were of a tribe that had never had interaction with anyone of your blood line until recently." My people at least explained the extremely black skin, she wasn't from around here, which opened up more questions.

"And so you took my last name?"

"Because Hanlon bought your store and needed someone to run it, instead of claiming to be a new owner I took over it as your niece, it worked fairly well and I liked the name so I kept it. My first name is Shadelia."

"But your friends call you Shad?" Behind her eyes I saw a flash of something I couldn't place.

"No one calls me Shad Trezlan, just like no one calls you Trez." This was true, I'm not exactly a nick name kind of guy.

"Where is Hanlon anyway? He never had factories before and now he has a massive complex." It was confusing even more so than the scarred woman who bore my last name.

"Things have changed, Hanlon is away," She paused before saying away, it was odd as if he had been banished or left for some reason, "Though he's still around, finding you was one of his last orders to me before he left, everyone else thought you were dead, but not Mr. Hanlon he knew you were not, how he came to that knowledge I do not know, but he was not incorrect."

"Well I'm glad he still believed in me."

"Indeed, and you came at a great time for me, we're supplying a war and with a foe you well know."

"Who?"

"The lands of the west."

"The guard attacked the lands of the west?" Shadelia chuckled.

"No they attacked us." And with that I realized the world I knew had really changed in a way I could not understand for some time.

Meeting Ms. Lorentino

It had been a long time since I'd seen a Hanlon factory. To put it bluntly I have no idea how Hanlon supplied anyone with weapons when I lived in the Guard, only that he did, the shipments just magically arrived without having ever been constructed or carried there it seemed. Apparently in the sixty years since I'd been in rotation that had changed.  The building the airship approached was massive, with multiple other airships on location and I could see workers scurrying about putting things on more of those carriages I'd seen in Ronerawth (those these clearly burned fuel as I could see the smoke rising off of them). The airship was directed in by lights to one of the landing pads and with a thump we were on the ground. Ordinarily this would be the point I would stop and ask a lot of questions, but my rescuers were very abrupt men and hauled me off the landing zone to the facility proper brushing past workers as we went.

The factory was awash in noises and industry, weapons were being constructed in huge assembly lines, checked at other locations, and packed for shipping elsewhere. I had never seen so many people in identical jump suits before. I was taken a back at the whole thing. I mean I assumed industry was a thing now from all the things I could see from the tower, but it was something else entirely to see it happening. Especially at a Hanlon facility which I didn't even think existed anymore. We moved away from the factory wing and came to administration. I could see names on doors that were all shut eventually arriving at the end of the hallway which had a young woman sitting at a desk wearing glasses moving her hands around on some machine that made clicking noises. Behind her was a door labeled Lorentino, and I could hear shouting coming from within.

"You tell that small dicked General if he wants his gods damned weapons on time he'll be prompt in paying the bill, otherwise I'll sell them to his enemy and he can deal with the finest weapons ever KILLING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS MEN!" The shouty voice finished and a man in a military uniform came scurrying out clearly frightened of the person who just ripped him a new one. Lorentino was short, and not just to me, she was at best around five feet tall, and pitch black, as in her skin tone matched the color description. I could also see her face appeared scarred from either an explosion or someone trying to carve it off. Her clothing was very business like three piece suit with a tie, if not for her breasts at a distance I could almost confuse her for a man because of the short hair.

"You may see Ms Lorentino now."  The secretary had finished whatever she was doing and briefly looked up at my squad of mercenaries. Lorentino looked as well first with anger and then a softening expression.

"Is that him?" I realized at this point I couldn't recall ever having something in my image, like no paintings or anything. I resolved I wouldn't do that again and have since sat for four paintings and several "photographs" a new technology that blinds the shit out of you and then captures your image.

"It is indeed, payment?" Chauncey was holding my shackles like he was going to keep me should Lorentino not pay. I could tell from her face this was an unwise decision. Lorentino waved to the secretary and she pulled out a case and handed it over to Chauncey. He released my shackles and went to leave.

"Not going to count it?" I didn't know what they were using for payment now, back in my day money was handled in bags not cases.

"Shouldn't have to." And with that Chauncey and his men left. And I was alone with Lorentino.

"Come inside Trezlan we have much to discuss." I almost felt like I was a fly jumping into a spiders web, but that was just paranoia, turns out Lorentino wasn't at all a bad person, quite pleasant actually, which was weird for someone who works for Hanlon, though to be fair I've only met a few of those ever and most of them I think we're not even real. 

But I'm Lorentino!

"Air Travel is safe? Bullshit!" The bearded man who went by Chauncey was cursing at the pilot of the ship (I could tell he was the pilot because he was by the steering apparatus, which looked kind of like a sailing ship wheel except a little different).

"Well it was safe up until you blew a hole in a tower, than they kind of figured out we weren't just a passing air ship Chauncey you can't expect them to leave us alone."

"Lorentino said we would be." I perked up when I heard my name, because I figured I had not contacted these guys at all. I mean I don't know maybe I had new powers of suggestion I previously never come up with. The men on the airship were all dressed in black and had different looking firearms than I'd ever seen. At least I assumed at the time they were firearms they were carried in a way that suggest they were.

"I did?" I was still being looked over by the person who seemed to be a healer of sorts though he wasn't using any healing magic or herbs that I'd ever seen. All told there were six of them including the pilot, though more might have been sleeping below in the cabin of the ship I wasn't sure.

"Not you our employer." I was very interested in meeting the boss who went by my name, since to the best of my knowledge I was the only made up Lorentino around. Chauncey consulted with the guy looking me over in hush tones. I couldn't make out everything, but I could definitely hear he was a bit worried about the condition I was in.

"How you feeling Trezlan?" Chauncey did not really put the question in a nice way. Something about his eyes betrayed a different intent here.

"Old Mr. Chauncey, very old, but I'm still kicking around if that's what you're asking, not going to suddenly die from being high up." I hate when people act like I'm frail just because I'm hundreds of years old! I mean sometimes when I've recently stolen the life from someone I'm younger body wise than those that are asking.

"Good Lorentino, because if you die I don't get paid, and I want to get paid, I just put myself in a lot of trouble to bust you out of that tower."

"And I appreciate you and your men's sacrifice Mr. Chauncey, if I had access to my funds I'd pay you myself." He laughed and some of the other men nearby laughed.

"I don't think you could afford what we are being paid old man, but rest up, we'll be at Hanlon head quarters in a day, I want you looking bright eyed and bushy tailed for Lorentino, so she'll pay me the rest of my gods damned money." I did notice at this point I still had my shackles on, apparently I was being rescued but not rescue rescued, potentially about to be enslaved by Hanlon for the expensive favor. Which would of course be the most Lorentino thing ever to happen to me.

Awkward Flyer Miles

I've mentioned before how boring long term imprisonment is. It saps your will to live and makes everyday run into the previous day. If I didn't cling to life like a crazy person clings to crazy I would have found a way to kill myself years before my eventual release. But I'm a survivor, I was determined to get out of my jail cell at the top of a tower though I had no way of knowing how exactly I would accomplish that, only that I would someday! Such is the strength of my hope even sixty years into my sentence that had no end.

But back to the boring! See the issue I run into is that I'm so bored I start to imagine things. Its a bit like illusions you see when you are dying of thirst, your mind is dying so it starts to imagine things that could save it. Same thing here, you're so bored you're mind starts imagining more interesting things. Like I had several conversations with dead people that were very intellectually stimulating (well as much as those kind of conversations can be). I also learned all the nooks and crannies of my cell and I counted the lights of the city several times over (like I could tell how things were changing within the city based on light density alone, sadly I couldn't make out more than that). I say all that about the boredom illusions because when my rescue came I was to put it simply thinking I'd finally snapped entirely.

"Step back from the window." The voice was that of a bearded man hanging from a rope. It was night time and I couldn't make him out aside from the beard, but he was definately different looking, and not just because he was again hanging from a rope.

"As far as illusions go, you're definately different." I was amused my crazyness had reached this length, though it was surprising to me it had taken this long.

"I'm not an illusion, now step back from the window or you're going to get blown up and I won't get paid." The bearded man withdrew up his rope and I amused my illusion by stepping back from the window (well that and I secretly hoped I wasn't crazy and this was a rescue). I was rewarded by the window exploding outwards and the bearded man swinging down through the wreckage.

"Are you real?"

"As real as you are Mr. Lorentino, now put on this harness so we can get out of here." He handed me a contraption that looked like a belt with leg holes and buckles I was lost, "Come on you had to have seen this kind of thing before." He thought better on his assumption and then pitched in to help hook me up. I could see that the harness as he called it was similar to what he was using and was equally hooked up to a rope to whatever he was connected to. After he hooked me up to the harness, he tugged on the rope and I was flying. Well not so much flying as being dragged through the air. I could see above me was some kind of balloon with a carriage underneath it. On board there were more men, all dressed in the same black clothing the bearded man was. Once he got on board he helped un hook me from the contraption. I noticed everyone was kind of staring at me.

"Something I said?"

"Nah most people are just in awe when they see a living legend Mr. Lorentino, but if you excuse us we have to keep you a living legend and get out of here before they hit us with a flak cannon."

"A what cannon?" As if on que something louded exploded to our right and the point was made the strange airship started moving and I was free of Ronerawth once more. I tell you it was definately the most exciting escape from prison I've ever had!

Like Most Things Hope is the Worst

My cell where I would spend sixty years (not hyperbole though at the time I thought it had only been fifty) was laid stone and mortar. A throwback construction project in a tower so I got a nice view of the city as it evolved over time. I was all alone in it, I had a nice metal bed with a too small blanket that during the winter only gave me the illusion of being warm but not its comfort. No pillow because creature comforts are not allowed political prisoners apparently! I also had no contact with the outside world except for one guard who would provide my sludgey too cold hardly edible food. The guard wasn't much of a conversationalist, just dropping the food and leaving. I never got his name, or what he did for a living, but he was the only way I could successfully notice time advancing (my over use of necromancy has caused me not to age properly. Like my finger nails don't grow really and my hair either beard or facial the sameway, it was at least twenty years by my count before I even noticed aging at all in myself, which was nice as far as knowing I could survive, but obnoxious as far as trying to figure out how long I'd been up there).

I would come to find out later that I only had one guard was intentional, as no one knew I was actually imprisoned in the greater Ronerawth government. Not even the emperor if you could believe that! In a hilarious sequence of events the council that had doomed me to my imprisonment were executed to the last man, and since they didn't exactly write down everything they'd done, my order of imprisonment went from being a term to forever. Like at no point was I to actually be released, which seems entirely unfair for my crimes none of which in my opinion were punishable. That I even had a guard to feed me seemed more just the way government works, he'd been hired to do a job and the job was what he would do. I have to say if he had died suddenly for whatever reason I probably would have joined him after starving to death for years (because again necromancy).

The worst part of course about the imprisonment was hope. I kept hoping someone would save me, one of my friends, an ally, anyone. But no one came. Not Nidget or Andre, no Captin Therod with a gruff annoyance, or Valrym grudingly laying assistance, Mordere wasn't there to slice a throat with as much casual indifference as buttering toast, or even Hanlon with his weird appearence (to be fair Hanlon did eventually save me... oh crap spoilers!) Anyway all of this to say for the first couple decades I kept hoping my "friends" would come get me, and they never did. I would find out later of course they all thought I was dead (except for Hanlon who knew I wasn't because again he's creepy). Of course by the time I got out they were all dead, well aside from Valrym and creepily enough Hanlon.

So yeah, sixty years in a cell I'll skip what I did to amuse myself for decades in a small circular room, its amazing what you can do when you let your mind wander. And by amazing I mean its not at all.  Next entry my escape!

And The Bottom Fell Out

"This is where I take my leave, good luck to you Trezlan." Niralo was very polite in showing me to the council chambers. I would have never found them because on top of all the the new mechniations the chambers were in an entirely different place from when I was there last (which is unacceptable! things should always remain the same whether I'm there or not!). It had taken us a few days to travel down from the divide, but the mechanized carriage of Niralo's made it a pleasant journey, and we stopped at nice hotels along the way. I would speak more of my time in Ronerawth, but it was mostly pleasant compared to what was to come.

"Mr. Lorentino!" The voice boomed from the center of the room. The council chambers were empty save me and the seven people judging me on high platforms (thats not a metaphor they were in raised platforms). There were seats for an audience, but there was no audience present. I figured my last public relations stunt here neccessistated this particular arrangement.

"Gentleman." I nodded back at the council members and took my seat at the table in front of me. I noticed the table had a place that it could be lowered, possibly below, this concerned me and it should have.

"We're glad you come here Mr. Lorentino, sorry to hear your train was delayed." The lead councilman was the only one talking, the council was in a v formation with the speaker talking and the rest nodding their consent. It was to say the least odd.

"Nothing could keep me from this appointment." Well not exactly nothing, I mean clearly several things can, but you know sentiment!

"I'm going to be blunt Mr. Lorentino you leave us in a tight bind, you are well liked for some odd reason, yet you are guilty of treason and have recently been back in our country despite your exile." It's always nice to be liked, even if it of course comes at the cost of putting me in a bad situation, "So we found the optimal solution, your exile is over!" I was about to celebrate when the floor lowered beneath me, "Welcome to the terms of your imprisonment!" I heard the voice over head, before I could react to what had happened shackles were slapped on me and a gag and blind fold applied.

So yes I should have been leary of the council and Niralo's kindness, I was about to suffer through my longest imprisonment yet. At least there wasn't any torture! Well aside from all the blood letting, yes there was a lot of blood letting. I'll get into that in the next entry, aren't you lucky! I sure as gods punishment wasn't.

The Limits of Ones Authority

"He's past his admission date." I didn't even realize I had an admission date, let alone that being a few days late would cause this kind of problem. Me and the good Captain Niralo were still seated in his magic carriage, the guard manning the gate for entry was one of several who were admitting or denying people passage to the lands of Ronerawth.

"There was a train crash." Captain Niralo for his part was a lot nicer than I would be if I ranked above someone trying to mess with my entry.

"Did he cause it?"

"Does it matter?" Niralo's tone was the type that would have made my blood go cold. Gone was the warmth he'd shown me, here was his addressing a subordinate who needed to learn his place.

"No sir it does not, go right ahead."

"Thank you I'll make sure to note this interaction on your personel review." The man's face lost color and he excused himself from his position after we had driven beyond.

"That was unpleasant." I was trying to hide my sense of giddy for returning to Ronerawth, I mean I'd been back there sort of recently, but it was a completely different interaction being with a horrible murderer, than someone who is officially in charge of things.

"People with a little bit of power tend to want to use their authority stupidly, that young man will learn there are limits to that authority and in the future he should remember when speaking with someone who is his better." Once we had made it past the divide it was like entering a whole new world. Gone were the forests and wilderness of the lands of the guard, here we were in real civilization. Paved roads, houses put in an order other than closest to the road and people in clean clothes going about their lives. I could also see industry had changed from the last time I was here, the black smoke from whatever furnances they'd used before was gone, the air was cleaner and the lands looked brighter.

"Wow."

"It's impressive right? How long since you've been home Mr. Lorentino?"

"Officially or unofficially?" Niralo just smiled and didn't say anything. I just stared in disbelief at the country I at one time knew and did not know. It was strange, above all this glitz I knew something was wrong, I just didn't want to admit it, its like when you can feel the boat going over the cliff, but think for just a moment you'll fly instead of crash at the bottom of the falls on some rocks. And for a moment you are right. This was that moment for me.

And That's My Story Honest!

"And that's how you came across this cult?" The authorties were not too far behind the first slaughtered group of whoever (I care so much about the authorities I properly credit who it was who had come to "rescue" me).

"Yes exactly." I had told them I was just a passenger on the train when the train crashed and I was taken hostage. I then spinned a yarn about my captivity and that some mysterious heroic person showed up, saved me, and then left. I have to admit the bushy mustached officer taking my story did not seem that convinced. I could have said it was me who killed the cultists, but considering between my use of necromancy, fire, and small arms it wasn't exactly the smartest move to make while still in the land of the Guard (I mean they know I'm a magical person, I register myself as such even have a nice card and everything, but I'm listed as limited ability not my current ability to burn entire forests down). There was of course the fact I'd just set fire to an entire forest that required several local farmers to be moved out of the path of the blaze.

I had been imprisoned upon the authorities finding me, as I probably looked no different than the cult I'd killed, and of couse authorities are notorious about not trusting magical people. My imprisonment was at the local town that was acting as a center for rescue efforts for the train crash and forest fire. The jail had two cells, I was in one by myself, the other was unoccupied. Bushy officer man had a pad of paper and was writing out my statement, I could tell he was absolutely thrilled by this turn of events for him.

"That's enough Officer I'll take things from here." It was a Ronerawth Imperial guard, I could tell from all the jewelery hanging off his uniform he was fairly high up. Bushy mustache was pleased and handed over his notes and grumbeled something to the new guy. The RIG unlocked my cell and unlatched my shackles, putting both aside, he escorted me out the entrance without so much as small talk. Waiting outside was some kind of contraption, like a carriage but without horses I could feel the magic eminating from it, he motioned me to take a seat and I did. I could see we were alone, and though he was armed I didn't feel I was in any danger if that makes any sense.

"So you are?"

"You're escort, Captain Niralo at your service."

"I warrant an escort?"

"Well ordinarily no, but apparently someone was simply aghast at the situation you just survived and felt it necessary that we make sure you make it to the council for your readmittance hearing." The carriage moved without noise, though again I could feel the power of magic humming from it. Beardy had told me they were using magic in devices, this apparently was one of them!

"Am I your prisoner?"

"Should you be?" He smiled at me while he drived, it was a lot nicer smile than most people, almost seemed genuine.

"Not that I want to admit to."

"Perfect than you are not my prisoner, you can even leave should you want to, but seeing as how we are near a forest fire, you have no supplies and the men back there were more suspicious of you than I am it would not be in your best interest."

"Fantastic, I guess I'll stay with you."

"Wise choice Mr. Lorentino." And so I rode with Captain Niralo to the Divide, he was a fairly pleasant person, then again most authority figures are, when you are on their good side. And thankfully I totally was, for a longer period of time than normal for me!

The Math of Necromancy

"We don't have to fight Brother." I hate when people assume I'm on their side because we share magical ability. I mean I don't do that, I don't use some rational that because we were born in the same place, or like the same kind of food that we can avoid conflict! Why others do it I think is purely to annoy me (yes even people I've just met, such is their desire to bother me!).

"Sure just kill yourself and your men and bam we don't have to fight." Note I said that out of order, because I well I just don't think before I speak, there you got me.

"Trezlan please, do you understand what its like down there in Ronerawth? Do you understand what the empire has become? You don't, I'm trying to save them." He wasn't trying to appeal to me for my rebel leadership, I doubt he even knew I'd gone against the empire several times over my overly long life, I believe he was just lying to set up another flank.

"I'd trust you more beardy if the two guys you sent from your force down there weren't trying to sneak up on me." It's sad the one thing I'm good at after all these years of doing things is still murder. I mean you would hope, hope that I would have at least learned a musical instrument or something? You'd be wrong (I tried what I produced was not music so much as horrible, to give it a name would be to give it life as something else). Beardy's attempted flankers were dealt with easily (gunshot one, burning tree falling on the other, I'd like to take credit for the burning tree thing but it was completely accidental).

Frustrated by my refusal to simply die Beardy and the rest of his group came charging up the hill. I didn't have too many bullets, but I made up for what I didn't have with magic. I shot Beardy four times in the chest, he didn't die, he just used his weird blood magic to kill his own followers and replenish himself. I burned his ugly ass and he did the same thing. It was weird, I didn't have to kill the people he was with, he did that for me. Eventually it was just the Beard and myself, the rest of his followers lay stripped of flesh and blood in the nearby forest. He only had that kitchen knife from before, I had no bullets and I could feel corruption surging in my veins, too much magical power expended, but as always I had my trump card.

"Neat trick with the blood magic." We were standing apart from each other, I figured he couldn't blood magic me if I wasn't within touching distance of him, even though I know that's not a limitation on necromancy.

"I can show you if you'd listen to me Trezlan."

"Nah why mess with an inferior version of something I already have." He looked at me with an amused glance.

"Oh so you have blood magic of your own?"

"In a manner of speaking yes," I made a fist as a showy gesture, and pulled my hand backward, Beardy tried to stab me but fell to his knees instead blood already leaking out of his eyes, "You see when you took some of my blood earlier I wasn't really happy with it, I kind of want it back." I pulled on the strings of magic that he had woven to keep himself alive and he came apart like a bad scarecrow, I'll save you the details I'm sure you can imagine it. I made sure he was the last of his cult, and then I burned the local forest to the ground, better for no one to see the horrors I did (unfortunately as always this fire spread further than I wanted because I am not some kind of fire master!)

So something else to remember kids, never take the blood of a necromancer into yourself unless you want that blood used as a way of ripping your body apart. Its a very specific lesson with a horrible example let me tell you!

Gunshots and An Opportunity

I heard the gunshots and at first thought the cult had moved on from simple rape and canabilism to killing each other with fire arms.  I mean it made as much sense as the rest of the garbage I'd seen the night before. It appeared though that either the Guard or Ronerawth had caught up with my merry band of nutjobs and decided to do away with them. Unfortunately for the cult their battle was going poorly, so poorly no one was left to guard me. Which as always a bad move for anyone imprisoning me (a sad fact that there is a pattern of history here for me).

I couldn't see beardy, I figured he probably fled the second the shooting started, but I could see a young boy. He was armed with a pistol and wore very little clothing, ordinarily I'd pause before murdering someone still going through puberty (another horrible thing to admit I even have a policy for), but considering the crazy levels of the cult I figured it would be better for him to be dead than anything else. I wrapped my chain under his neck and twisted snapping the neck, not exactly the best way to go, but it could have been worse. I took up his pistol and shot my shackle chain, thus freeing my magical ability.  One of the cultists noticed I was freed and roasted him, the rest of the fight was not pretty, it was over faster than most of these mongrels deserved but lets just say I dispatched my foes with fury. Or I should say I thought I did, when I was about to give myself up to the attacking authority I could hear a sudden influx of gunshots behind them, apparently beardy had flanked his opponents. I guess I should have seen it coming there did seem to be decidedly less people in the camp, and the ones that I killed all seemed to be the young boys (so not exactly any bad ass points for me in that feat).

"Is that you up there Baldy?" He probably knew I was free because I'd set fire to a few trees in my showdown with his weaklings.

"Come on up and see beardy, but know that you don't face some pathetic Red Hander, you face, the one, the only Trezlan Lorentino." I'll admit I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic, and this might not have been the smartest move to admit to a cult leader who had his entire group of murderers plus the weapons of the people who had come to kill him, but COME ON! I have to at least warn my enemies of their doom before I doom them. And don't worry dear reader I came out on top, as I always do, because I'm Trezlan Freaking Lorentino!

Crazy Cults Why Does it Always Have To Be Crazy Cults

"We found him running through the woods." I was thrown roughly at the beards feet, his cult members had freed him from his shackles. There were at least a hundred of them, and clearly it looked like the train having issues was intended.

"Oh baldy did you think you could get away from me?" He put his hand under my chin and I could feel a sensation of my flesh being stripped from me. It was a weird feeling, like part of my neck being taken off like a ribbon, then I saw some of my blood being pulled up to the Beard in some weird stream and he drank it in, as he did so the wound on his chest seemed to diminish. It wasn't straight necromancy, but it was some weird horrible version of blood magic I'd never seen before. Which was interesting and horrifying all at once.

"Well you know what they say when in doubt run away." His men snickered at that, so at least I was entertaining the crazy people.

"Take him." His men snatched me up and carted me off (like a fussing child). The sad thing was his cult all looked like him, all scraggly beards and and dishelved clothes. I would say they dressed like that to appear like something they weren't, but I don't think that was the case at all. I think they are all scummy losers who dress like scummy losers! Seriously, I've dealt with a lot of cults before, this was the first one that actively wanted to look like the worst parts of any society.

We got back to their makeshift camp (I say makeshift, but these guys all looked like homeless people, it could have just as easily been their regular stupid camp!) and I felt my skin crawl. First it was an all male cult, but clearly some members were subservient to others in sexual fashion, it was an interesting dynamic but from what I witnessed most of the sex was not consensual for the lesser participant (and done in the open, so they weren't even hiding the rape). Secondly they appeared to be cannibals, because I could see farmers family roasting on a spit. Honestly you're probably thinking I made up this horrible cult, but I completely did not, if I was going to make up a cult that I was imprisoned with, they would all be large breasted sexually aggressive women who only seek to please me (look for that entry later on).

It was all really unpleasant and when I finally laid my eyes down to rest after witnessing horrible acts I felt dirty in a way that I would never be clean. But I did have a new purpose, to absolutely murder the crap out of these weird cultists as fast as I could possibly go.

No Thanks Murder Kills My Appetite

"You aren't going to eat?" There was a young child on the floor her neck slashed open by a kitchen knife that beardy was using to eat some kind of meat the family had been eating prior to him murdering them. We had come across this farm house as darkness was falling, which had allowed for beardy to do all that murdering.

"Don't feel hungry." I have mentioned before I keep my figure by not eating, its a side effect of necromancy, I figure one day I'll have problems from all the not eating, but it allows for moments like this where I wouldn't want to eat and don't need to. There were three members of the farm house, a husband, wife, and their young daughter, all arranged near where they died. Beardy didn't even give them a chance to surrender, or help us, he just killed them and started eating. I realized he was not some misbegotten freedom fighter at that point, and he was a huge asshole.

"Oh these peoples food is not good enough for you your highness? They worked hard for it, and now you mock their sacrifice." He said this to me while of course having food in his mouth so it was a slurred mess.

"I think the bigger mockery is that you murdered them for it."

"Keep talking baldy and I'll kill you all the same, I'm only keeping you around for when they come looking for me, then I'll give them you instead." It was nice to feel wanted, not really at all! Beardy rummaged through the house looking for something to break his shackles but came up empty. He eventually settled in the one bedroom they had and told me to stay in the barn (because on top of being an asshole, he was an idiot). I can't say what he expected me to do when I was all alone by myself, but I did the sensible thing and left, because I'm not an idiot.

I mean sure I was tired and I had a head wound, but I wasn't going to stick around at a place with three dead bodies! Unfortunately I ran smack dab into beardy's cult, so instead of improving my situation I made it worse, because I am an idiot!

Impatient Hostage Takers

"You are too slow baldy." The bearded man was more than a little bit of a prick. I mean for someone who looked like a hobo he had really good cardio, where as I had not been a prisoner... recently was struggling to keep up. In my defense I did recently take a head wound that was slowing me down, well that and I was purposefully going slow so the hobo would just leave me behind (first rule of trying to get people to let you go, be annoying, they'll either let you go or kill you, which is win win! I mean you're free either way!)

"You know I choose to cut my hair like this, I'm not naturally bald." Probably I mean I've shaved my head for about a hundred years at least now, I don't even know if I have to keep doing it.

"Whatever, you're slow, pampered rich person probably never worked a hard day in your life." I could tell beardy was about as pleasant to be around as he was to smell.

"You got me I haven't done anything except be pampered and live a life of quiet contentment."

"You looked the type, probably one of those former Red Hand pricks who cut a deal with the new government to turn on others, am I right?" We were walking through the woods, I figured we'd come across a farm or something soonish, as did my bearded companion though both of us wanted to get there for completely different reasons I was sure.

"You got me completely." I could practically hear his snear from where I was.

"Probably going down south to Ronerawth to capitilize on the magic slavery they have going on down there. Yeah I know you're type, you're the reason we rebelled." All of a sudden I felt a lot better about getting blown up on my train, I didn't like the idea of Magic slavery, even less so since with my necromancy they could make that kind of thing really awful.

"I had not heard about that at all." He turned around and looked me over, his eyes making that kind of really looking at you stance. It was unsettling and not just because I could see the ever expanding wound on his chest.

"You have an excellent poker face liar, so either you were completely unaware of it and just got saved from being imprisoned to create more magical power for The empire, or you are trying to trick me. All the same I'll have to watch you more." I was almost kind of intrigued about beardy, and was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and think he might have just been a freedom fighter against a good cause. And then he butchered a family in front of me which showed me he was the exact kind of monster I figured him to be.

Fun times are head I assure you!

Ok Ok I Should Have Given Him a Cigarette

My head hurt pretty badly, I had a taste in my mouth that was hard to describe and I could feel blood seeping into my eyes from a head wound I had suffered. It took me a moment to even realize the train had crashed. I mean one moment I was drifting off to sleep, and the next I was on some frozen woodland ground feeling dizzy with a massive head ache. As far as waking up, it was one of the worst ones in recent memory (recent memory being a thing of course because there have been several worse ones in distant memory).

I could see the wreckage of the train to my left, the tressle it had been traversing had exploded, ripping the train in two and somehow throwing me out of the window I had been happy to have been sitting next to. The cut was a result of going through that window. I didn't see any other survivors at first and thought I might have been the only one when I felt a chain lock around my neck, the prisoner had also survived.

"Do you have a weapon?" The voice was ragged, I could hear in his tone he was hurt. The chain was tight around my neck and I couldn't really give a good response, he let it slack.

"No I'm a businessman." It was true I was unarmed, and it was true I'm a businessman, but like I've always said I'm never unarmed. I was about to show the bearded one the truth of that when I felt the cold lock of shackles on me.

"No offense businessman but you look like the type." He spun me around to get a better look at me and I could see a stain of blood on his chest. Having seen my fair share of injuries his was bad, if he didn't get help he'd be in trouble.

"What type would that be?"

"The magical type idiot, now move, and remember now we both look like prisoners, so if you try and screw me it will go bad for you." He was right, I didn't have to wonder where he got the shackles of course his former guards obviously were dead amongst the wreckage. And it was smart to move away from the flaming wreckage I mean who knows if it might explode more (I have no idea what goes into trains obviously, something explosive? maybe I don't know I know you're amazed I know little of the world, you know?). Unfortunately it also meant we were moving away from where rescuers could save me from a mad man, and most importantly farther from me making my triumphant return to Ronerawth to reclaim my adopted birth right!

Sadly I got stuck with a nutjob and then lost in the woods, because my life is one of pain an misery. And Nidget.

A Look Into My Future?

I took my seat on the train. It wasn't first class (because I'm frugal!) but it wasn't the cattle car in the back where they store poor people before shipping them off to parts unknown. At first I thought I'd have the section I was in to myself (it was a set of four seats across from each other next to a window), unfortunately before the train left the station a couple gruff suited man with a prisoner between them. No other occupants came in, but I could tell my hope of light conversation mixed with joyous moments of people returning home was shattered.

The prisoner looked like his apprehension had not gone well for himself. His face was bruised up and one eye had swollen shut. He had long ratty hair and a scraggly beard, that either said he had been on the run for a while or he had terrible fashion sense. The clothes he wore could support either theory as they were dirty rags that smelled like urine.  The two men flanking him were definately from Ronerawth the purple suits gave it away.  I wasn't aware they pursued criminals into the lands of the Guard, but it made total sense they would (because Ronerawth doesn't consider the Guard as a new government so much as a loose coalition of idiots, and they are not wrong). I could also see the prisoner had on magic shackles, either because he was magical or the people pursuing him weren't taking chances. As the train got underway I spent the time going over one of my journals (not editing as you can obviously see from my lack of editing, just reading up on things to remind myself of myself, yes I'm that vain).

"You have a smoke?" The prisoner was directing that toward me, the train allowed smoking though I usually chose not to. I mean don't get me wrong I enjoy a good pipe every once in a while, but I certainly don't share my pipe with some dirty prisoner.

"If you mean some kind of rolled cigarette no." The men flanking the prisoner made no attempt to curtail him from talking to me, either out of lazyness or seeking entertainment from the conversation I don't know.

"Any food?"

"They haven't served any yet and I don't keep any on myself." He didn't sound in ill health when he talked but I could see his teeth looked horrible (my teeth of course are sparkling and white, due to a couple secrets I learned a long time ago, mostly of course due to necromancy).

"Well you are just useless then."

"Happy to be of no service to you." He scoffed and sat back in his seat to fidget with his shackles. I'll admit I didn't think much of the prisoner other than a niggling fear in the back of my mind he was what I'd become shortly (because I didn't fully trust Ronerawth's offer), but as it turned out I didn't have to worry about either because the damn train was an hour away from crashing. And that's where the next entry will start...

Never To See You Dicks Again

"So when do you leave?" Valrym was supringly chipper, well not surprising because he hates me and I was telling him I might be leaving for a while.

"Train sets off tomorrow for the Wall." To say I was elated to be leaving the crappy lands of the Guard was an understatement.

"Haven't you been set up like this before I swear you have." I vaguely recalled a similar set up but this time was totally different.

"Don't harsh my happiness Val."

"I'm not trying to I just don't want you coming back after another crushing loss." Valrym's back handed statements always make me miss him when I'm not around him. Wait I don't mean miss him I mean really glad when he's not around! Cursed godling child! I got pretty much the same reception around town as I was tying up my affairs (Therod asked if she could still sue me if I'm not in country, I informed her she'd have to take that up with Hanlon and that was the end of that little conversation!) Even Nidget my constant companion and assistant (cough) was happy I was leaving, even though it meant he had to work the store without me!

It's times like this I believe people don't really like me at all! Which kind of does damage to the lie I tell myself that they are all playing a joke on me and they really enjoy my company! Oh well, with my affairs, taxes, and other random needs in order I made my way to my train and down south. The train was fun! I'll go into it tomorrow what strange characters I bumped into so you can enjoy my moment. I just had to remind you that leaving the dicks of the town I live in is the best times I have in my life even if when I leave its just to go someplace worse!

Not as Idiotic as Previously Appeared

"She really thinks my weapon failed on her?" Hanlon seemingly was summoned by the mere implication one of his weapons did not work as intended.

"No, she was using it as a way to look over my store for magical crap. I don't believe I ever sold her the pistol she used to shoot her own foot." Therod's guard members were already gone, having found what they wanted to find and I had a nice fine to go along with it.

"And they didn't find anything right?"

"Oh no they found plenty of small knick nacky magical garbage, hidden just where they'd look so Therod would get to have her moment of triumph and hand me this fine and a warning and I get to look all 'shucks captain I had no idea those magical things were here' while all the real dangerous stuff is safely hidden in places she'd never find." Hanlon smiled, as I've said before I'm a dick, I'm involved over my head in matters I should leave alone, but I'm not an idiot, I learn things.

"Well played Trezlan well played, everytime we have a conversation I learn more about you that cements my view as my favorite person. When the time comes for this world firey demise I'll make sure to save you." He smiled and left and I wasn't entirely sure he wasn't just foretelling the world would be wiped out in a fire storm, but I at least took solace he'd save me from that fate, which probably meant I'd wind up in some other horrid version of bondage for all time instead. Still I'd be alive! I was interrupted in my thought of how the world would be wiped out by a knock at the door by a messenger. He wasn't a special messenger, just the normal letter carrier who comes and goes, but his message was special. In fact it was a message I'd been wanting to see for a long time.

Dear Trezlan Lorentino

Your petition to reenter the borders of Ronerawth is set to be reviewed in Two weeks time.

 

 

Long live the Empire

 

Ronerawth Imperial Council

 

 

I was going to be allowed to go home! FINALLY! I swear I jumped two feet in the air when I read that letter. Sure it said my petition would be reviewed, but that was a lot better than the "Stop writing us we do not like you." Letters I'd been recieving for years! I was finally getting somewhere, so of course I should have been instantly leery of it, but I wasn't because I'm Trezlan Lorentino eternal optimist!

Reports of Therod's Death Were Greatly Exagerated

"I got shot in the foot Trezlan, I wasn't going to die at any point." Therod grudingly had released my shackles I swear its almost like she treated me as the criminal here! I'll admit this was partially my fault for not mentioning earlier they were working on Therod's leg earlier, and not like a fatal place, but come on you have to come to trust that I'm leaving something key out anytime I write an entry! In this entry alone I'm leaving out several key details!

"Well Nidget was worried so I assumed it looked worse than it did."

"Nidget is an idiot Trezlan." SEE ITS NOT JUST ME WHO SAYS THAT!

"But Jandel said you got shot by a Hanlon revolver and blamed me!"

"I was shot by a Hanlon revolver, and it was probably your fault since you sell the damned things, but it was my own pistol that shot me." I had to admit this part of her admission made me chuckle, quietly though because you know she just killed a guy. We made our way out of where I had been stuffed and I was sad to see we were like three blocks from where my store was, I had a bag placed over my head when we got kidnapped but I should have known we were not very far at all from freedom.

"So why was Jandel investigating a shooting you did yourself?" Therod had a noticeable limp and was wearing a sandal on her injured foot instead of her normal boot, but I was still impressed she was out there doing her job even with a hurt foot.

"Because she heard me curse you name and figured you were involved." It made sense, but still annoying! We made it back to my shop and Nidget was thankfully dressed, there were a couple other guard members there looking through my damn things! I was the victim and they were treating me like a common criminal!

"So I take it you came to complain about the revolver when your foot felt better, found Nidget with the bandits killed them and then came to save me and Jandel."

"More or less."

"Considerably less Trezlan she shouted at me for letting it happen!"

"As she should Nidget as she should, so we're done here Therod?"

"No not by a long shot Lorentino I still want to talk with you about your defective revolvers!" My defective revolvers! I tell you Therod was an even bigger bitch than she had been prior to getting shot! All the same this resolved the dumbest group of bandits who tried to rob my store while the Captain was recovering from a self inflicted gunshot I've ever run across! But as they say, my life is young there were bound to be other issues that come up!