Ok Ok Lets Go Hunt Some Pirates

Sitting on a dock rain pelting me in the face I felt maybe just maybe helping ghosts was a bad idea. Like perhaps when I set foot on land I should have just called the whole thing off. But no, I did as Hanlon told me to do and had the pirates sail me out to this castle in the middle of nowhere that had a bunch of armed guards protecting some object, and then after I'd survived I got back to the dock to find my ride completely missing. Pirates I tell ya not very reliable! Ghost pirates even more so.

I figured the survivors of the castle would be coming soon, I'd managed to take some ammunition from the dead. Not nearly enough mind you, never enough bullets from what I'd dealt with in life (or magical power, or sigils, or whatever you never know what you need until you don't have it!). So I sat with a rifle by my side, a pistol holstered up and my feet swinging from the dock like a kid waiting for his dad (I vaguely recalled all the centuries ago this very sensation). I could hear noise from the castle, and I was wondering if they were going to just shoot me in the back while I sat there when a ship materialized from the water, it wasn't the pirates, it was Hanlon, because of course it was. His ship wasn't one of the sleek steam liners, but instead it was an old sailing ship itself, crewed by what appeared to be his own group of pirates, I found myself in silent amazement to the audacity of the situation I found myself in.

"Ahoy!" Hanlon himself was dressed up like a pirate, my life is ridiculous.

"What in the gods name are you dressed in? Where did this ship come from?"

"Dry dock! I had her built for pleasure, but now she's the perfect thing to chase those pirates."

"And a steam ship would just?"

"Not get the job done obviously Trezlan! We need the wind in our sails!" The commotion from the castle was louder now. I figured I'd either join up with Hanlon or die, and since I hate dying so much.

"Ok, this is ridiculous, but ok fine lets," I sighed heavily and stood up, "Lets go get some pirates."

"That's the spirit, get to the quarters you need to change, I can feel the sliver as well, perfect we'll need it if we are going to stop them."

"I thought we were going to help them!" I knew we probably were never going to help them, that's not Hanlon's way from what I'd seen.

"We were, until they clearly deviated from course and now we have to stop them, keep up Trezlan, I'd figure you'd be used to be betrayed." I actually kind of was.

"But she was family!"

"Was Trezlan, but she died and in death people are not who they claim to be any longer." And on this Hanlon and I agreed and off we went, to hunt Trezlan, the other one not me, hunting me would be silly, unless a split personality somehow broke off and haunted a body that was not mine. Great now that I have proposed that very thing happening I've basically allowed the universe to have it be a real thing. Good job Trezlan.

Well I'm Sure Glad I Made the Trip

Bullets wizzed by my head, six people had pinned me into a corner. Myself I was out of bullets, and I'd used so much magic I could feel the corruption taking root in my fingertips (its a weird sensation I can't really explain, but just trust me here). I was cursing Hanlon for putting me in this situation, and wondering what in the gods name I had in a sack over my back (it was a glowing object that while not exactly evil, had the strangest pull on my sanity, like I could feel all the souls it had been connected to, calling out to me, which made sense since the object was named appropriately a "soul sliver"). My pursuers were closing fast and I could not see a way out of my current situation as it were.

"I say we call truce, you know just walk away from this whole exercise." I heard some laughter out of that, so at least brought joy to the people trying to kill me.

"Hand over the sliver and we'll talk." I'd have believed him more if when he said talk I hadn't distinctly heard the sound of reloading.

"Sorry this sliver is going in some ritual to make ghosts stronger." I don't know why I decided to tell them my plan, but it at least caused them to pause.

"What?"

"Yeah I was told by some dark entity that I can use this to make ship load of ghost pirates stronger, so you know if you are cool with ghost pirates, you should just let me walk away with your soul sliver." They were not cool with my ghost pirates and so they decided to rush my position. The first guy I used the last of my fire on to kill snagging his rifle prior to him dying, which I unloaded on the next guy (realizing after the fact probably should have saved some of that ammo), then took his shotgun and killed the next two guys before snagging one of those guys pistols and shot to death the next guy before wounding the final guy (did you get all that?). He looked at me like I was a supernatural creature, which in a way I guess I am.

"Who are you?" Fear crept into his eyes.

"Trezlan Gods Damned Lorentino." And then I killed him, because at times when you do something bad ass you need to leave the dead with something to talk about in the after life! So I got the soul sliver and made my way back to the pirates, who were mysteriously absent upon my return (stupid jerks how dare they disappear on me when I got the thing that would help them!) Turns out there was another twist to this play, because of course there was!

Making A Deal With Darkness

"No." I started walking away before Hanlon had even started talking. I didn't want to know what he was going to offer, because what he was going to offer was going to be awful. He followed me as I walked away because Hanlon is like a dog with a bone.

"Come on you didn't even let me offer what I can do for you!"

"Exactly I didn't let you tempt me with something that will inevitably turn out poorly for me!" It did turn out poorly for me. Yeah spoilers I agree anyway.

"Trezlan you wound me with your sarcasm, when have I ever been anything but your friend. Besides this idea of a ghost pirate fleet intrigues me."

"Its just the one ship."

"For now." He smiled, and I like an idiot didn't keep walking.

"So how can you help me help the ghosts?" There was a voice in my head screaming to stop, to turn around and run away, but like usual I ignored that voice of reason. I have no idea why it even bothers with me anymore.

"Well I have a theory..." Days later I was in the middle of a castle surrounded by men with high powered rifles and running low on bullets and magic myself. At this point I knew I really really shouldn't have listened to Hanlon.

Think of the Legends!

"No and leave my bar." Valrym of course was not too keen on helping me keep the ghost pirates around. He just hates fun! And murderous ghost pirates not under the control of anyone. But mostly fun!

"Come on Val, you hate the ocean you're earth its like your enemy!" I admit my reasoning here was a bit poor, but come on elemental rivalry! That has to be a thing right? Like if you are an elemental god shouldn't you be at war with other elements? That's a lot more interesting than "They got more followers than I did, so we died out and they prospered." Mostly I want the god's to be as petty as I am. Yes I can admit that.

"Trezlan if you don't leave I'll throw you out, I didn't resurrect your ghosts, nor do I know who would, and I certainly won't help you make them stronger, now get out of here." I want to say the patrons in his establishment were surprised by the way our conversation was going, but for whatever reason they cared not. Frustrated and fearing being "thrown out" I left. I at least had time before I had to return to Trezlan/I didn't have to return to her because they were frigging ghost pirates Its not like they could row their boat on the land. Well I hope they can't, that would have made my plan to aid them even dumber than it already was (see how much I had clearly thought this through?). I was walking a fugue so much I didn't even realize I had stumbled down a back alley and ran smack down in to a dark figure. Ordinarily this would be the point I'd tell you someone tried to mug me, but unfortunately this time the dark figure was not a mugger.

"So I hear you want to make some ghosts stronger." It was Hanlon, and I immediately regretted my life choices that had brought me to this point in time.

Confused, But Not Finished!

We had arrived at a small island. It was pretty much unremarkable, barely an island really, just a reef, and some sand and the wreck of Trezlan's old ship. There wasn't much of it anymore, the combined naval effort had obliterated just about everything, all I could see poking out of the sand was a bit of mast and some hull, weather and time had stripped the old wood of color. The ghost pirates didn't want to go near it, but Captain Trezlan had no issue, she was not afraid of the wreck as they apparently were.

"They really gave you guys all they had didn't they?"

"We pissed them off pretty bad, I figured they'd try to arrest us, but all they did was broad side the crap out of us. They actually hit our ship so hard they hit each other with cross fire." She was almost proud of how much damage had been done to her ship.

"So when did you guys come back? It wasn't immediately I take it?" Not like I knew anything I mean I'm so far out of the loop I'm finding stuff out now that I should have known years ago, its a symptom of my long prison stay/general not caring about current events.

"No it was recently, one minute I was in a place I'd rather not talk about, the next I was here near this island with my ship and crew, I believe its been a few months, we've been on the ship I can't tell you exact dates." I got a look at the hull and noticed there was some new sigils and the scent of magic having been applied sometime recently. Though the sigils and magic were both completely new to me.

"And your men avoid the wreck because?"

"Some of them believe they never died, and don't like to see that we did, I do not fear such foolish things. Its why I don't feel the need to hide my appearance, I'm not a alive like you, well anyone else but you, you're alive through things no one should survive by." I let that one go, people always tell me I shouldn't be alive, until they need me, sometimes even when they do need me! The sigils though were intriguing, they were in a dead language, of a culture that only one person I knew of still had any knowledge of. The problem was he hated me, like most people.

"Ok we have to return to the mainland I have to see a man about a magical incantation." The other Trezlan sighed, but did as she asked. I have to say having my own spectral ghost pirate ship was really nice, that and for whatever reason I didn't get sea sick on their ship. It was great, made me sad I had to see them go at some point. But like most things I'm getting there!

Sit a Bit and Let Me Explain How Screwed You Are

"Sit." We had retired to the captain's quarters, it was there I discovered something amazing. The ship itself was also a ghost. I hadn't noticed when I came aboard, but being inside of it I could feel the spectral energy in everything. It explained how it looked so nice and how the ghost pirates were probably able to sneak up on Morley's ship so easily, they simply were gone one minute and there the next. I did take a seat in a nice hard wooden chair. Captain Trezlan's quarters were exceptionally nice, I had forgotten how much looting she had done prior to both Ronerawth and the guard getting her ship between two of their warships and blowing the crap out of it.

"How did you find me?" I started with the important one, well important to me.

"I sensed something on that ship I had a connection to, it was strange to see it was you, but it makes sense we are related." Very distantly related, but I guess the power of a ghostly connection is there.

"So what do you want from me, I assume since you didn't simply kill me you want something, to be freed from your undead curse?" She laughed, it had a haunting tone to it. Like she was laughing through a mega phone.

"Curse? No this is the greatest thing that ever happened to us! We are literally unstoppable, no I don't want you to end this curse, I want you to figure out a way to make it stronger!" To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Then again the ghosts had saved my life, and I hated the water so helping a bunch of ghost pirates become stronger appealed to my inner child of destroying things I didn't like.

So I had a new mission to try and make a band of murderous ghost pirates stronger, which at least as a necromancer is in my wheel house of awful things I have experience with. Turns out though, making ghosts stronger? Its not easy! I know! I think I'm the first person to ever actively want to do it!

Maybe If I Pretend They Don't Exist They'll Go Away

The ghost pirates at least didn't kill me like they had killed everyone else (I was really confused as to how they even existed, I mean in theory ghosts could manifest like this, but to be able to do that and be strong enough to kill people? That's a lot more than just simple ghosts). They did leave my shackles on because they were dicks. I was brought to the deck of the ship as the rest of the crew was being summarily executed (they held their throats out to the ocean and spilled the blood into the water like it mattered maybe it did? Maybe that was how the ghosts were powering themselves?) I didn't see a captain, though I did see their ship, an old sail ship stained red, it looked like quite the beauty despite being run by murderous ghosts. The ghosts took me past the slaughter and to their captain who surprisingly enough I knew.

"Trezlan." The captain only had half a face, the rest of her crew was mostly fine, but she seemed to be proud to show that half of her skull had been blown open, ghosts are weird like this I've never questioned why some show the moment of their final state and some show what they looked like in life. Outside of the missing face her body looked mostly in tact, she was wearing a blood red jacket as was the description I'd read on wanted posters. At the mention of my name her ghost compatriots looked at her funny.

"Trezlan." I offered back since I was in the ghost precense of Trezlan the Red, my distant relative who stole my name and apparently was now stealing my ability to live throughout the gods damned ages, though I admit I looked a lot better than she did. So what happened? Why were the ghosts there? Why do I always ask questions of people who probably aren't reading this? Next entry!

Ghost Pirates? Seriously?

Sitting near the rusted toilet retching everything I had in my stomach I felt my life's choices had been poor. Like sure I've had some fun times, but more often than not I was locked up in some crappy cell dealing with one difficulty or another and trying to find a way out of my predicament. It was almost enough to make me change my lifestyle to one that was safer and more apt to not feature imprisonment. Almost. Look as often as I get thrown in prison or have to kill an entire village or some other moral dilemma normal never have to deal with. I also get to in theory live forever and burn literally everything in the whole world. These are great perks!

So between my second or third wretch (I can't really recall the exact number at this point, I mean I wasn't exactly in a great state of mind), the ship lurched to the side causing me to miss the toilet more than I had been previously and I groused to the no one else in my cell that they can't even keep the stupid ship moving straight (which in the past with wind powered ships was more understandable than these huge engine powered monsters). When I heard screams and gun fire I figured something else was up. At first I thought it was Hanlon who was saving me (wouldn't be the first or last time he's done that) but when my cell burst open and I saw ghost pirates waiting for me? Well to say things were awkward would be an understatement.

And yes I knew they were ghost pirates since they were dressed like pirates but clearly ghosts. That's what hundreds of years of experience buys you.

Sucker Punched

I'm an idiot. I have mentioned this several times over several years, but every once in a while I am reminded that I am stupid as stupid can be. Like I had decided to take my haunted picture to the archivist, because he was a ghost and I figured ghosts could at least hang out with each other (or tolerate each other? I dunno I'm not some kind of ghost expert), that and he had sent repeated letters to me to come and see him. Me being stupid I assumed he wanted to discuss all the history I had missed out on and all the wondrous things he could fill me in about. Nope.

Turns out the archivist had made a deal with Morley and shortly after I had arrived at his archive he had me captured by burly jerks. Like I showed up with the painting (after having driven all the way there in a shiny new car I had purchased and now immediately regret buying since I have no idea where it will go now, just like all the horses I've lost over the years, RIP horses) and then I was slugged in the face and shackled. I have to say as far as double crosses at least this one was sudden. I never did learn with the archivist got out of this, I figure some kind of knowledge, but I did know what I got out of it was an immediate hatred of the spectral bastard, and a desire to see him eliminated from this world (what about all the knowledge you ask? Screw it let it burn with him!)

So I was shackled and took down to a ship at the docks to be shipped off to wherever Morley was currently located. I guess I should have been thankful it wasn't a plane, but also unthankful because I got sea sick! Also the ship kind of got attacked by spectral pirates allowing me to escape. Wait wait I'm getting there calm down just wanted to leave you something!

Covered In Blood Being Screamed At

"So this is what it does?" I was standing there coated in ghost blood while it screamed at me in different ways. I mean I guess for someone who isn't me this would be scary, but for me this was just like a day that ended in Y.

"Yes aren't you terrified?" Debra had withdrawn all the way down the hallway. I was just standing in the living room waiting for the ghost to be done.

"Sure in a manner of speaking this terrifies me that you are so beholden to such a lame specter." Kicking a person when they are down is one of my nicest personality traits. Debra was too afraid to be offended. The ghost kept bleeding and screaming, but once it saw that wasn't scaring me it stopped and just took on a normal form.

"Why aren't you afraid?"

"Oh want to talk like a real person now? Well I'm glad we can get to that part." I wasn't actually glad, I wanted to burn the ghost, but alas my dream of burning a ghost to death will remain just that, a dream.

"Well if you aren't going to do the reasonable thing."

"The reasonable thing being afraid of you? Come on ghost, I'm not scared of ghosts, or blood, or whatever you are. You're ability to physically harm is limited, worse so once you struck me you've used up your juice, you don't have much left honestly, its why you are bleeding and screaming." The ghost was deflated, he knew that I knew, that he was beat. It retreated to the painting and I took it down from where it was hanging. Debra emerged from the hallway.

"Are you going to destroy that?"

"No its what it wanted, it wanted to be freed from the painting, in fact I'm going to take it to a place it can't harm anyone else." Well harm being a relative term, it being around anything causes harm, but you know where I was planning on taking it, the most harm it could do would be annoyance.

"Thank you Trezlan, you saved my life."

"No I did not, but I'm sure given enough time I'll end up doing just that." With that I did leave and I did not in fact save Debra's life, she was gunned down during a robbery a couple weeks later. What you expected this story to have a good ending? It wasn't my fault though, I was in transit during the events that lead up to her death. In transit where? Well I'll get to that.

And That's Why You Don't Buy Evil Paintings

"So John just thought that the painting was the perfect fit for our place." The painting was an old regal looking guy sitting down for a self portrait. His face was all full of boils but his outfit spoke to money, and considering it was a painted portrait hundreds of years old having money was an easy guess even beyond his clothes. How John had thought an old guy who's face looked like rotten food was a perfect fit for his apartment with his young wife and child? Yeah I have no idea.

"The old man with a rotten face was a perfect fit? Is John blind?" Debra looked at me with awe and what looked like relief.

"You see it too? John doesn't see it! All he sees is the old man, he doesn't see the boils!" This just confirmed my belief John was an idiot, well I already had that belief, but this super confirmed it.

"Well that makes sense, ghosts are dicks like that, showing one person one thing and another something else. I bet if there was a way to see what John sees, he sees something completely different than you do, including not even seeing the old man at all." Ghosts are dicks, its been proven to me several times. I noticed at the mention of ghosts being dicks the painting shifted, Debra freaked a little at the movement.

"He doesn't like you."

"Well I don't like him either." If he was a him to begin with, I don't even know if ghosts can retain this sexuality when they are dead, can a spirit be a sex? These are the questions that keep me up at night. Debra had withdrawn away from the painting down the hallway of their little apartment.

"When he gets angry things happen, bad things."

"What could a painting possibly do to me?" At this point the old man left the painting and punched me in the face. I was taken a back from the action, but at least it wasn't hiding or anything.

"YOU WILL LEAVE!!!" The voice was loud, like a child shouting for attention, which is kind of what the ghost was.

"Trezlan you might want to do what it wants, or things get really bad."

"None sense I didn't listen to my ghost father, I will not listen to this ghost either." I give zero shits about what ghosts want.

"YOU WILL CARE!" And that's when things got a little more interesting, and bloody, very bloody. I swear for something without blood that ghost liked to bleed on everything. At least I hope it was blood, because oh gods I need to take like three showers.

Unacceptable Noise!

I'm normally a pretty easy going kind of guy despite most of the journals evidence to the contrary (so who is lying me or me?) so when my neighbors above started stomping and screaming at all hours of the night (yes I sleep in my office, I tried having an apartment and my office and found this was a waste of money I'd spend too much time at one and not enough at another) I was put upon.  When blood started showing up in the hallway and weird spectral entities made appearances I was annoyed, and when the Toofarbs sought out my help to rid themselves of the problems they were having I was well past pissed off and into "How can you people expect this of me!?"

So let me back this up a bit. My neighbors stupidly bought a haunted Object (it was a painting but honestly it can be anything such is the nature of haunted objects) and when the object itself started being all haunted they tried to just ignore it. Yes can you believe that? They just hoped it would go away! Clearly they don't have the experience I do of trying to ignore ghosts. You can't do it! All the same John Toofarb didn't believe in it while his poor wife just fell deeper and deeper into a funk as the ghost specifically seemed to torment her while ignoring John (because that's how Ghosts work, they are huge dicks). Debra eventually sought me out against John's advice, because he thought I was a criminal (which is silly he shouldn't think that, I am a criminal, it shouldn't be a thought, wait shit).

I'll admit I was probably harsher than I needed to be towards Debra, because I, like ghosts, am an asshole. But that will be the next entry natrually.

I'm Glad You Think My Job Is a Joke

"So what do you do for a living Mr. Lorentino?" John Toofarb had just invited himself in with a pipe and a smile. Because I always think the best way to keep track of your enemy is to invite them in to your house I allowed him into my office.

"Anti magical stuff, just like the door says." I even did a visual check on the door to make sure it still had my stencil on it, it did, so John was just being an asshole. He laughed and then looked at me like I'm crazy (I know the look...)

"Seriously?"

"Yes seriously."

"Is magic even a thing anymore? Like I've heard stories, but its contained right like that's not something I have to worry about." I wanted to punch John right in his stupid ill informed face. I conjured fire in the palm of my hand to illustrate my point.

"Magic is everywhere John its in everything you do and engage in. To be ignorant of the things around you is to be ignorant of the way the world is. Take your pipe for instance, in it you have a lit ember, I could take that and use it to burn your throat out." His eyes went wide and he got up to leave.

"Well thank you for your time." He was choking on the pipe smoke and I extinguished the fire in my hand with a wave.

"Any time John, anytime." He didn't so much as run as he left hurriedly, but I assumed I was done seeing my neighbors for a bit, I was wrong, but the reason why I was wrong turned out to be hilarious. Well for me, for them it was terrifying.

New Neighbors? Seem Like Old Dicks

I hate being interrupted when I'm doing nothing. I mean it appears I'm not doing anything in particular, but I totally am. I'm usually formulating my next journal entry, or trying to discover a secret of the universe, or counting the amount of dots in a ceiling tile. All super important tasks! So when I was interrupted by an annoying couple who looked happy and clean cut I hated them immediately.

John and Debra Toofarb are nice people, they pay their taxes, they work in normal jobs, they have a small child that isn't loud and obnoxious. They are the perfect example of the perfect couple, and they bothered the crap out of me. Like they brought me a cake and wanted to meet their new neighbor (there were apartments above the office I worked out of, worked here of course being a relative term) I wasn't so much their neighbor as the guy underneath them, but apparently that was enough. I tried to be nice, but I'm terrible with social interactions and the Toofarbs with all their aww shucks and aww jeezes just pissed me off.

On top of that I was immediately suspicious this was a con job. Like they were actually some horrific supernatural creature that was going to try and wipe me out. As soon as they left I didn't eat the cake, I studied it, I sent out some of it to my chemist, and I ran every magical test I could think of on the damned thing. It all turned out negative but I had to be sure! I also watched over my neighbors like a hawk, making sure nothing appeared out of order with them. Nothing! They were exactly as they claimed to be! Which seemed completely out of sorts with literally everything else in my life.

In a way this became an issue. I was sure they were something horrible I forsook everything else in my life (so literally nothing since I don't do anything normally frankly I'm amazed I pay my bills from time to time). And at every opportunity, every revelation just revealed they were as normal as they could be! How entirely frustrating for a group of people to not be actively trying to kill me personally! Don't they know this world revolves around me!

Though I was right in one aspect, something was wrong with the Toofarb's it just wasn't what I expected, because I'm terrible at expectations.

You Do Good Work, If By Good I mean Bad

"Bang up job Telraxx, sent a bunch of people to die, and didn't accomplish your objective have to say I feel safer you guys are out there." Telraxx and her anti magical group had arrived too late to do anything useful per my experience with authorities. I swear I stop more threats accidentally than people actually assigned to do it do on purpose! They at least helped bandage my arm and gave me a soothing balm so my arm didn't hurt as much, I mean it still hurt, but it wasn't the same outstanding pain.

"Forgive me Trezlan, but I wasn't properly informed in this case, it may shock you but government agencies aren't exactly the best at talking with each other." I had called in the authorities on a working radio, seeing as the entire camp was murdered I didn't want to get blamed for it!

"The kids a corrupted shifter, you know that much right?"

"I wasn't aware of that, I just knew who his father was, but knowing that he's a shifter and corrupted at that well I'm a lot more worried."

"Who's his dad some rich guy?"

"Morley."

"Shit." I hadn't even considered the kid could have been a Morley, but it made sense in a way, though the thought of Morley with a shifter for whatever purpose was terrifying. Knowing Morley I'm sure he somehow bred the kid to have the power, that was the most Morley thing for him to do.

"So you have no clue where the kid went?"

"Not a single one, probably off to murder more people, but his corruption was weird, he was more in control than when I have succumbed to it." Twice I've gone the route of corruption, twice it was just the worst base instincts coming out and destroying all things around me, but this boy let me live and that's not something I would have done were I in his shoes.

"I don't know whats more terrifying, that he's possibly in control, or that you have multiple experiences with being corrupt yourself."I smiled and got up to leave. Telraxx grabbed my arm.

"Something else?"

"Got a report from a farmer and his wife about a crazy man who invaded their property, you wouldn't know anything about that?"

"Nope and if I did I'm sure they were being dicks to an injured deputized man and that person treated them accordingly." She smiled and let me go. I mean I wasn't wrong they were being dicks to me, sort of... Anyway this wouldn't be the last time I'd seen the shifter boy, but at least for now he was gone and that was enough for me. I found my way home and was just settling in to a good bit of doing nothing when wouldn't you know it shit went south again. Swear to gods...

Childish Cruelty

"Hi." It was all I could think of in response to the blood coated murderer. I hadn't seen the kid enter my cell, nor was the door open or anything which left only one possibility, he was a shifter, and worse than that he was a corrupted shifter. Basically he was a bomb sitting across from me and he was armed and I was not. This was the worst thing in the entire world I could ever think of happening. Well ok not the worst thing, but the worst thing that was currently happening to me at this time that could potentially kill me.

"So what should I do with you?" It was weird someone this corrupted could form words, let alone thoughts. To say I was surprised was an understatement.

"You can let me go!" I always suggest this when people ask me what they should do when I'm locked up, its not ever really worked out.

"And why should I do that? You are perfect just where you are." He had one of his bloodied knives underneath my throat when he said this, if he was trying to scare me, it totally worked.

"Because I can help you." I couldn't actually help him but you know again what's the worst he could do to me other than kill me. He seemed to consider this idea, he pulled the knife back at least and talked it out in his head, and then he disappeared and reappeared behind me unlocking my shackles. With my magical ability back I could finally sense the boy, and holy shit the power was like a bonfire of energy. Like I couldn't imagine how he was containing it at all, I'd never really seen a shifter before, and if they are all like this I can easily see how they get corrupted so easily, they are swimming in magical power.

"So how can you help me?" He had the knife out again and he poked me in the back with it harsh enough to draw blood.

"I can help cure you of your problem." He had shifted in front of me, and I could just feel the wave of power that came from the magic use of just the one shift.

"Cure? What cure? What do I need cured of? That's a question I'd like to know, what am IIIIIIIIIIIIIII, inflicted with?" The kid got more agitated as he talked, it was the corruption. I recalled from my time being corrupt its like having another voice in your head, except its also your own voice so its a bit weird to explain.

"The corruption, its coursing through you, making you do things, things you don't want to do." I wanted to leave the room, but I felt any sudden movements would cause the kid to try and kill me, well lets be honest, kill me, he could literally just blink and impale me.

"Oh I want to do all things, all of them, these men my father sent them to stop me, but he can't stop me, and you can't either!" I braced for the end but he just disappeared. One minute he was there, the next he was gone. That was the worst part, at least when he was there I could in theory have stopped him, now that he was gone, he was loose, and a child with the power to appear and disappear with a lust for murder? Yeah that is legitimately one of the worst things I've ever seen.

The Terrifying Sounds of Silence

It seems that the mercs in the company didn't have time for me. After the leader had his chat with me I was basically left alone with my burnt arm and time. No one even talked to me! Just left me food and didn't hang around. It was almost like they knew who I was without knowing who I am (I didn't bring my ID since I was rushed off with the posse and I frequently forget the stupid thing anyway). I was wondering if this was going to be the new normal for a bit when I heard screams coming from the camp. A lot of screams.

I couldn't exactly make out what was going on, but I could hear shooting, and people dying (well what I assumed dying there were screams that usually only come with death) it moved through the camp whatever it was at will. I figured it had to be one, because the shooting tracked it for the most part, but was failing to kill it the entire time, eventually I was seemingly all alone. Which sucked because I was also locked up and only had what little food I'd eaten. I was wondering what I could feasibly do with my hands locked up to free myself when I noticed I was suddenly not alone in the cell anymore.

"Hi" The boy was covered in blood, holding two knives and he was corrupted to the point where his veins were a dark ugly black. To say I was terrified is an undestatement, and that's where I'll leave you, all alone in that cell with a horrific murderer and a boy, wait strike that reverse it.

Mercenary Ambition

As someone who has stalked and killed just about every form of man walking this earth at points in my illustrious charmed life; I do have to say modern mercenaries are dicks. Like so much dicks. In the past random groups of jerks would at least wander off from each others sight lines, allowing an industrious murderer to pick a couple off and lower the odds. Not so with this group! They all kept in line of sight with each other, with covering fire and and good field of fire vision. Sneaking up on them was pretty much impossible. Which made my job even harder, especially since in my attempt to scout them I got caught by them pretty much immeadiately. Yes sadly I was once again captured by my enemies because I'm a bumbling idiot. I admit these things, which makes when they happen perfectly fine! That's what I tell every woman I've ever been with and I'm ultimately disappointing as a lover too.

Of course this group had shackles (they were working with a magic user so naturally they'd have a way to combat him) and upon me eating a rifle butt to the face they locked them on me. Which with my burnt arm hurt like you would not believe! They even had thought ahead to set up their camp with prison cells, which spoke to two things. A. They intended on being their long term. B. That posse I was with had no clue what they were walking into.

"A sword, that's a strange thing to bring with you." The man who I assumed was in charge had my sword out and was marveling at it. He was wearing a non descript uniform made of greens and browns, there were two other guards in the room, both whom had anti magical devices themselves.

"I like to go old school."

"Does your arm hurt? It looks positively terrible." The flesh was oozing more now, the reddish burnt skin had hardened and broken, the pain was getting bad enough to make my eyes water, especially with the shackles on.

"Nah it normally looks like this, so are you going to let me go?"

"Sure you were trying to sneak in here, you were part of a posse to come kidnap our boss, we're just going to let you go so you can alert the rest of the government to our position."

"Sounds good you can unlock the shackles and I'll be on my way." He left of course, not exactly willing to do as he sarcastically implied he would. Like a jerk! So I was their guest for a few more hours, I swear they should have just let me go, because I as always got free and things went to shit not too much later!

Maybe You Should Have Asked

The farmers wife was nursing her hand, I had shot it after she had told me to "Git" so now I'd shot both idiots in their appendages. Have I told you how much I hate people recently? Because I hate people, even when I'm getting money or assistance from anyone, in the background I'm reminded why I can't stand them. The two morons were disarmed sitting at their kitchen table in their small house, I was rummaging through things looking for something to deal with my burns.

"You idiots have some kind of butter or cream or anything?" They both looked at each other aghast I would ask them anything.

"Why should we help the man who shot us?" I really wanted to tell them because if they didn't I'd just drain their life and fix my wounds that way, but you know trying to be a good person here. Ok marginally good, ok not even moderately good but cold blooded murder is worse than just shooting people because you don't like them. Most of the time.

"Because I still have my pistol." Threatening to kill people is very much better than just actually killing them. Ok like not really, but on a scale of bad its on one side more than the other! That doesn't make sense, so moving on.

"We don't have whatever you want, just like we didn't have anything when your group just came through here." My ears pricked up at when my group came through there, I'm guessing they meant the people who blew me up, because the posse certainly didn't come through here.

"And where did the rest of my men go anyway." He was going to stay close lipped but when I cocked the hammer on my pistol suddenly he shared the information. Sadly he was right they didn't have any cream or butter or anything (seriously farmers what do you farm? dirt? garbage? NOTHING?). Seeing as they could not aid me any further I left them there and stole their truck (look I'm terrible ok, but they were both hurt its not like they were going to use the vehicle!) Of course this lead to the hilarious moment of me having to struggle to drive the damn thing since I've never really learned since being back (my adventures don't leave a lot of time to figure out this crap, I only recently figured out modern plumbing, don't ask what I was doing prior to this revelation).

Eventually I managed to catch up to the mercenaries, which was great. You know aside from all the weapons and men to use those weapons...

Burnt

Being set on fire sucks, like if I had more self reflection I'd probably stop setting people on fire. But since I don't like to think of anything beyond the immediate issue I have no issue continuing my record of burning my way through life (look when all you have is fire and necromancy everything looks like uhh stuff that burns or something you can take the life of... kind of lost that joke there). All of this to say when I pulled myself out of the ditch I was very hurt, the burns on my body were all over my right arm, the flesh was cracked and sensitive to touch. I wasn't even that badly burned but man alive did that shit hurt like no other.

I was actually surprised no one came along the road we were traveling, but apparently we were in the middle of nowhere when we got attacked and so no one happened to be traveling the road, which made getting any kind of help really difficult. Not that there would have been a lot of people willing to help a dude walking along a road all burned up carrying a sword and pistol (I insisted I bring my sword since I'd been going without it recently and things have been going awful without it, not that it apparently helped). I eventually found a small farm with a water trough and availed myself of the dirty water to cool my burning flesh. Which helped, but because the water was dirty I was basically inviting all kinds of infections. I also ran afoul of the farmer who was none to pleased to see me on his property and greeted me with a shotgun.

"Git." Now I was not happy to be in the situation I was in, but I was also unhappy with an asshole with a shotgun trying to simply get rid of me instead of offering to help me.

"I'm sorry can you repeat that." He went to shoot in the air and I drew my pistol and blew off his foot. I'll admit this wasn't the most neighborly welcoming thing to do to someone, but he pointed a weapon at me and so he got what he had coming. Let this come as a lesson, when a wounded man with a weapon shows up at your place, be a bit more nicer to him than pointing a shotgun at him and telling him to leave.

The farmer was struggling with his wounded foot and I disarmed him and drug him back to his farm house. See I was nice gods damn it! I intended on helping him with his injury, but upon reaching the farm house his portly wife also had a shotgun pointed at my head.

"GIT!" I swear this was a family of dumb asses, and as all things go, this too got worse.

Explode Me Once

Getting blown up out of a truck is alarming. I mean one minute you are sitting there conversing with a young fellow next to you, and the next you are blown out of the bed of the truck and your ears are ringing, oh and you're on fire. Honestly getting blown up sucks in general, there are so many negative things to it, I don't recommend it. Mostly because you'll probably die and not just be thrown from the wreck like I was (this is why its best to sit in the back and not the cab of a truck, in the back you can be ejected, in the cab you can be roasted, make note next time you're traveling somewhere!)

So yeah my time with the possee was short. We were traveling on our way to I believe the last place the magic user was, when the convoy was exploded. I was thrown from the wreck into a ditch with the corpse of the man I was just chatting with. Which actually worked in my favor because his charred remains hid my still breathing remains from the mercenaries who had blown up our convoy. Well I assumed mercenaries, they could have been a rogue government group or whatever. Honestly it was probably in a file I was supposed to have read, but the authorities didn't really give me very much to work off of when I got deputized! And sure I could look back on it now, but that takes way more effort than I ever put into any journal entry!

All the same at the time the only thing I could think of was how angry I was. I mean I was burned, I was hurt (I broke my leg on impact, extremely painful) and worst of all I didn't know where I was. This was a worst case scenario and things only got worse from here. How you might ask? You know the answer is in the next entry!

I'm Not Working!

Seated behind my desk there were several men in uniform standing in front of me. They all had name tags and were all very serious people, but I couldn't take anything they were saying seriously because I didn't want to. I hadn't even been back all of a few moments before I was already being petitioned for another job. I swear the universe hates me, when I need work no work is to be found, when I don't need it all kinds of work just shows up and demands to be worked. I swear the more things change the more they stay the same.

"... And so your expertise will become instrumental in the apprehension of this fugitive." The leader of this group of police was still speaking, I just cut to the chase here as much like I wrote here I was only half paying attention.

"There are real organizations that can handle people like this, I'm terrible with other magic users." Its true I was, unless they wanted them dead, then I'm fantastic for them, but I got the impression they didn't want to outright kill the young man, and that is not my expertise.

"They told us to get you, so you're deputized and your joining the possee." I figured this was the end of the conversation and it was, which is infuriating! I swear people listen to me enough to verify I am who I say I am and then just fill in the rest as to what I'm going to do! Which is how I do things in life, but people shouldn't do that to me!

All the same this is how I ended up in the back of a pick up truck shortly before it exploded. Oh yeah, next entry etc etc.

It's Relatively Safe, Relatively

"So this is the evil gun you found?" The pistol was just on my desk, underneath it the head of the snake I'd used to transport it home (that good ole snake used for so much thanks for trying to kill me snake!) How did I get home? We were discovered by a flight and a rescue ship was launched, I actually made the paper about how two ship wrecked survivors managed to escape a wilderness. Thank gods that ship exploded or Vontresa would have been locked up (she didn't remember any of it by the way, any of it! Like not even finding the map, I figure this shit will come back eventually, but it hasn't so far). Of course Hanlon immediately found me afterward to see the pistol, which was still inanimate.

"Well I didn't find it, Vontresa did, but yes this is it."

"Excquisite." He had a light smile to his face which was as creepy as usual. When he put his hand over the pistol I swear I saw the green light again, but I was kind of tired.

"So is it evil?"

"Why would you think I would know that?"

"You know weapons and magic better than I do." He smiled again and put his hands back from the pistol.

"You flatter me Trezlan, but no its not evil, at least not that I can see, what it is is dead, or I should say inactive." I was still perplexed how just a simple fire magic brought down an evil gun.

"I'm still lost as to how that happened."

"The gods work in mysterious ways Trezlan, perhaps you're magic was the counter to the weapons evil? Or perhaps the gods took pity on a poor necromancer and decided to give you a break, I have no clue as usual, I'm just a humble weapon merchant."

"What should I do with it?"

"Lock it up somewhere safe and keep it, you never know when it might come in handy."

"Where do you keep an evil pistol of the gods?"

"In a box dear boy, in a box, a nice solid wood one." With that he left me with the evil pistol and the remains of the snake I'd kept it in. And so I took his advice and got a nice wooden box and put the pistol and snake in it (because the snake head carrying case was very bad ass) I actually have the box hidden in my desk because even though the weapon is dead I'm sure some idiot will come looking for it someday, probably. I mean you never know, maybe my proximity to it will slowly drive me insane... Nah I'm already crazy I can't be driven to be more crazy.