New Neighbors? Seem Like Old Dicks

I hate being interrupted when I'm doing nothing. I mean it appears I'm not doing anything in particular, but I totally am. I'm usually formulating my next journal entry, or trying to discover a secret of the universe, or counting the amount of dots in a ceiling tile. All super important tasks! So when I was interrupted by an annoying couple who looked happy and clean cut I hated them immediately.

John and Debra Toofarb are nice people, they pay their taxes, they work in normal jobs, they have a small child that isn't loud and obnoxious. They are the perfect example of the perfect couple, and they bothered the crap out of me. Like they brought me a cake and wanted to meet their new neighbor (there were apartments above the office I worked out of, worked here of course being a relative term) I wasn't so much their neighbor as the guy underneath them, but apparently that was enough. I tried to be nice, but I'm terrible with social interactions and the Toofarbs with all their aww shucks and aww jeezes just pissed me off.

On top of that I was immediately suspicious this was a con job. Like they were actually some horrific supernatural creature that was going to try and wipe me out. As soon as they left I didn't eat the cake, I studied it, I sent out some of it to my chemist, and I ran every magical test I could think of on the damned thing. It all turned out negative but I had to be sure! I also watched over my neighbors like a hawk, making sure nothing appeared out of order with them. Nothing! They were exactly as they claimed to be! Which seemed completely out of sorts with literally everything else in my life.

In a way this became an issue. I was sure they were something horrible I forsook everything else in my life (so literally nothing since I don't do anything normally frankly I'm amazed I pay my bills from time to time). And at every opportunity, every revelation just revealed they were as normal as they could be! How entirely frustrating for a group of people to not be actively trying to kill me personally! Don't they know this world revolves around me!

Though I was right in one aspect, something was wrong with the Toofarb's it just wasn't what I expected, because I'm terrible at expectations.