Negotiations of the Fire God

"No, does no work for you,? no." I was not about to burn to death a bunch of people on the word of a god. I normally do that when they upset me, or I'm having a bad day or some other spurious reasoning! But not just because a god told me so. She smiled after she pouted a bit.

"Come on haven't you just wanted to truly let got and burn everything?"

"I did that once, I was corrupted beyond belief and was a scourge on the city I burned a lot of people."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Awful."

She frowned, "You're no fun! I swear for someone who is what you are, you take no joy in being it." I was lot as to what she was alluding to, but years of dealing with Hanlon had trained me with this kind of speak in half tones bullshit.

"So if there isn't anything else there's the door you can see yourself out of it."

"Oh throwing me out like so much last nights trash? Have you forgot what I am and what you owe me? I saved you from damnation at least twice, and I can burn you alive." With the last statement I felt all of my body be extremely hot like my blood was boiling, it was brief but the threat had been repeated this time with the physical effect. The fire god then smiled and clapped her hands together. "Ok so you won't burn a bunch of people to death that's fine I guess fine be that way, what you can do for me, is kill a specific group of people, just some malcontents ruining my religion."

"You mean making your religion into a family friendly affair devoid of martial combat?"

"I mean turning my followers from the true spirit of belief in me and weaking me as a result, kill them and I'm sure the idiots will return to the way they are supposed to worship."

"And you can't do this because?"

"Stupid rules I agreed to with other gods, I can help my people, or this pathetic orb, but I can't direct them to worship properly! My hands are tied."

"But you can have someone else do it for you?"

"Well special people sure, you're one of them, a loop hole of sorts." I keep being terrified by god politics, even more so when they are threatening to burn me to death.

"And if I say no you'll incinerate me."

"Well I don't want to say I'll set your testicles on fire and turn your penis into charcoal."

"But you literally just did." She smiled and then produced a scroll with names blackened into it, gods never updated to type writers. And then she disappeared as suddenly as she was there. The list was twenty gods damned names deep though! But seeing as I wanted to keep my jangly bits not currently on fire I decided best to follow what she said.