Relax You Won't Die Probably

"So what do they want money?" I assumed money, but I dunno Val is a bit of a recluse, he could be sitting on a pile of artifacts or the secret to the greatest beer in the world or something.

"Yes they want money Trezlan, what else do people want?"

"Several things, I could give you a list of things I've been asked for over the years, never love though, never been kidnapped for love, but you know what they say never say..."

"Trezlan get to the damn point."

"Why don't you just give them the money and we walk out of her." Grunty who I named Phil despite it probably not being his name seemed to lean in when I suggested just paying them.

"Did you set this up? Is this your way of robbing me Trezlan?"

"No? That's silly I need your help with this death magic thing, but if I was going to rob you I wouldn't have involved idiots like Phil over there, I'd have just killed you and taken your money." Phil did not like that statement one bit.

"Well I don't have any money, I told these assholes that and they punched me."

"You don't have any money?"'

"Not the amount they are looking for, they apparently have a mistaken impression on how much a bar owner really makes in this town. And even if I did have the money as soon as I give it to them they'd kill us." I shrugged.

"Are you really going to kill me phil? After all we've been through."

"My name's not Phil." It was the first thing Phil had said to me the entire time I'd been there, in a way it was heartening, shame it was the last thing he'd say. I burned through my shackles and while it really hurt my wrists to do that I knew I wouldn't be in pain for long. Phil stood up out of his chair at my suddenly being free and leveled his shotgun at me, but fell to the ground a desiccated husk shortly after standing.

"Phil, if only you'd have let me go when I asked you to an hour ago." I felt better, my hip was nog longer busted and I had a shotgun. It was like being a brand new man all over again.

"There are times Trezlan I'm in awe and terror of you as a person." Val of course had to ruin the moment.

"Said every woman I've ever dated Val, now come on lets go deal with your kidnappers." What I should have said is "Lets deal with the stupid heavy iron gods damned door that will not freaking open nor would it simply burn." But these are things you learn after hours of effort later.